ultimatebrokebackforum.com forum

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN => The Impact on Society & Ourselves => Topic started by: Melisande on November 11, 2007, 07:59:22 AM

Title: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Melisande on November 11, 2007, 07:59:22 AM
We have "How Brokeback Affected Me", "How the Forum Get-Togethers Have Affected Me", and now, "How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me."

Wayne/Zudos suggested that now, as the forum approaches its two-year anniversary (December 24), might be a good time for such a thread. Thank you, Wayne! And thanks to all of you for making this forum the place it is.






Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on November 11, 2007, 12:22:44 PM
i plead the 5th  :D :D :D

(and that's as close to a 5th as i care to get, thank you)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CANSTANDIT on November 12, 2007, 08:18:09 PM
Well, to me, it is an exception to one famous addage, a la Groucho Marx, paraphrased: I wouldn't join a club that would have me for a member.  ;) ;)

Besides that, all I can think of is FRIENDS. I've made some damn good ones here....and I feel like for the first time, I really deconstructed a story in a way I never have before. This one seems so much more important than most of the others. And let's not forget the humor.....
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Dal on November 12, 2007, 08:41:40 PM
The story and film really smashed me, in a way I still do not understand.  All sorts of pretty unpleasant emotion started.  Nobody I knew had the same reaction, and they tolerated me but thought I was looney.  The forum helped me get sorted out, no small thing. 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Lola on November 13, 2007, 07:54:52 AM
Well the movie brought me here, but the people have made me stay.  I have met alot of nice people here.  We talk about more than just the movie, we talk about movies in general, diets, families, pets, current events, we share jokes, we just chat........it is really nice.   Oh and we fight and then we kiss and make up, it is kind of like family.  :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on November 13, 2007, 08:21:07 AM

Wonderful idea for a new thread - merci Meli & Waynito. Will think about a long detailled post here, soon.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on November 13, 2007, 09:05:44 AM
Well the movie brought me here, but the people have made me stay. 

That's a great way to start your post, so I'm quoting it.


I found this forum on Dec 26th of 2005.  It was only a few hours after having seen Brokeback my first time.  I was so happy to have a group of like minded people to talk about the movie with, and to find people who that when I reached out to them, reached back.

I found people to be my friends, my support, and so much more.  I traveled all over, had a relationship, met guys who expressed an interest in me, and let myself experience life.

I've talked with people from all over the globe, and my knowledge about myself, and the world around me has grown.

I've grown more as a man the past two years, than I ever have before.

Oh and we fight and then we kiss and make up, it is kind of like family.  :D

Oh yeah, we're like a family........and there are some black sheep (or is that pink sheep?) and a small amount of dysfunction from time to time, but we get through, we always do.


I wouldn't trade back the time I spent here for anything!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on November 13, 2007, 09:20:32 AM
I know I'll be back soon to add a post or two...
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: conny on November 13, 2007, 09:55:50 AM
Well the movie brought me here, but the people have made me stay. 

great line and so true, more later.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on November 13, 2007, 02:43:11 PM
Like many of you, I agree that Lola sums it up well by saying, "Well the movie brought me here, but the people have made me stay."

In the beginning, for me, it was all about the movie.  I was so touched by the movie that I sought out everything I could find about it online, not even imagining that a place like the DC Forum existed, where a large group of people could talk to each other.  When I discovered the Dave Cullen Forum, it was my first experience with any kind of online forum.  But I didn't really see the people behind the screen names.

At first I was mostly interested in figuring out the movie -- what had I really seen, what did it mean.  For that, I went to the Scene-by-Scene Analysis thread, and tried to understand what everyone else there was saying.  I wanted to hear different interpretations of various scenes.  I only posted a little bit, because it seemed that the discussion was farther along than my thinking was at that point, and that I could learn best just by reading (what I came to learn was called "lurking").

At some point, my perspective widened a little, and I thought it would be interesting to join the book club.  Prior to joining the Forum, I'd been reading a lot of history books, but our book club here, run so well by Michael Flanagan, gave me a chance to read different types of books.  My first book there was "The Last Picture Show," a classic by BBM-screenwriter Larry McMurtry.  In the book club, I began to interact more with other people online. 

But as for a real-life meeting?  I was too afraid to dare to venture to the original "Auntie's Backyard BBQ" in 2006 in Texas -- afraid of meeting people, reluctant to travel, hesitant about being in Texas in the summer heat.  However, last August (over a year ago) I finally met a few Brokies in person at a small get-together held one afternoon in downtown Philadelphia.  Even though I didn't stay in touch with those people in person, and only continued speaking online with one person who was also in the book clubs, this in-person meeting led up to a big change in my life that has continued to this day.   

The big change for me came with this year's Estes Park BBQ in Colorado.  Finally, I met a large group of people, including some who have become much better friends in the months since.  I've had small dinners or luncheons with some of them, have traveled to big gatherings like in SF and DC, and have been fortunate to make some friends who meet from time to time in New York City.  Speaking of being daring, just going to NYC alone was a first for me.  I'd always been afraid to travel there before, but somehow I knew I had to do it if I was going to see the people I wanted to see, and I managed to do it.  And it seems that each time there's another get-together, I get to know somebody new -- and in addition, the existing friendships with people I already know are reinforced.

Another aspect of the Forum, which I've only come to lately, has been reading people's stories about how they were affected by Brokeback.  I stayed away from that thread in the beginning, partly because it was so huge, partly because I had no words then to describe how much, or why, I had been personally affected by Brokeback.  Since purchasing and reading "Beyond Brokeback" and meeting some of its authors, I've begun reading that thread (at least keeping up with the new entries).  This is making me understand much better the things that people I know have been going through.

As a straight woman, I also have to say that the Forum has provided me with a very welcome way to connect with gay men.  Certain individual gay men were very important to me in high school and up until right after college, then I lost touch with them when they moved to San Francisco and I moved to the East Coast.  I lived a pretty quiet and conservative life here, never really knowing that anyone around me was gay (if they were, they were closeted in the corporate world).  When I was recruited for a Diversity Team at work, I tried to review a few books dealing with gay issues (an effort which drew some criticism, but I was determined), and I continued to be very interested in matters concerning gay people's lives.  But that was so theoretical.  It's not the same as actually having gay friends and going out with them, laughing and talking to them, just having fun.  I feel like a piece of myself was missing (hidden in my own closet, in a way) which I have been privileged to rediscover here through getting to know some of the great men on this Forum.

Widening these thoughts from gay men to all people, gay and straight, men and women, I will just echo what others have said, that this Forum is now about FRIENDS.  That's why I continue to come here, to connect with people I know, and to talk to new people who are continuing to turn up every week.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on November 13, 2007, 03:54:11 PM
Thanks guys...

Am getting a post for this thread....  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on November 13, 2007, 04:15:02 PM
I know I'll be back soon to add a post or two...

me too.......
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: paintedshoes on November 13, 2007, 06:20:48 PM
I know I'll be back soon to add a post or two...

me too.......
Me, three, though it can probably be epitomized by that word again:  Friends!  I have personally met all but two of the posters in this thread.  And those two are as dear to me as if we had met!   ;)

To quote the Governator:  I'll be back!!!!!! 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on November 14, 2007, 02:33:19 AM
DEBBIE...

I love your post!

Was cool meeting you in San Francisco!!!

Hugs,
Rob
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on November 14, 2007, 04:44:17 AM

DownstairsDebbie - your post was very moving and sincere. Thank you for that. I enjoyed reading it.

 ;)

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on November 14, 2007, 05:24:34 AM
Thanks, Ingy and Rob...and Chuck and Sue, who mentioned it in the Diner...cool meeting (and knowing) all of you, too.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: sarah on November 14, 2007, 09:13:23 AM
Two years after seeing the movie and joining the forum, I continue to use Brokeback Mountain to teach my college sociology courses on family and on violence.  I'm now teaching on-line!  I probably wouldn't have ventured into that realm had it not been for the comfort level here.  I continue to display framed pictures of the boys in my bedroom, and for the first time forgot to take them down when the cleaning crew paid a visit -- don't know what they thought!  I do take ribbing, but the film and forum have given me the incentive to buy land out in the country, and to appreciate many other kinds of movies in a way that I had neglected to do since having children.  I don't post often, but I read nearly everyday, and the comfort is indescribable.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: TwistEnnis on November 14, 2007, 07:46:32 PM
...............hmmmmmm, where to start. 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ellen (tellyouwhat) on November 14, 2007, 08:53:42 PM
Two years after seeing the movie and joining the forum, I continue to use Brokeback Mountain to teach my college sociology courses on family and on violence.  I'm now teaching on-line!  I probably wouldn't have ventured into that realm had it not been for the comfort level here.  I continue to display framed pictures of the boys in my bedroom, and for the first time forgot to take them down when the cleaning crew paid a visit -- don't know what they thought!  I do take ribbing, but the film and forum have given me the incentive to buy land out in the country, and to appreciate many other kinds of movies in a way that I had neglected to do since having children.  I don't post often, but I read nearly everyday, and the comfort is indescribable.

sarah, I loved your entire post, but especially the bit about the framed pics of the guys.  The cleaning crews eventually know all our secrets.  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Nikki on November 15, 2007, 11:02:16 AM


A while back I posted in 'How Brokeback Affected Me.'  This new thread offers a different slant -- it's not just about the movie, but about our relationship to the Forum itself.

I came to DCF because I was looking for comments on BBM after seeing the film (I had read the story previously), and was entranced by the whole production: actors, story, and scenery.   I stumbled on the Forum accidentally, and began to lurk for a long time before joining. I erroneously assumed there would be more gay commentary and members, and hesitated to join thinking  that as a straight women I would be seen as an interloper.  However, after lurking for several months I soon discovered the diversity of the members, so I decided to join.  Eventually, I became active in the book and film clubs, and posted occasionally on other threads.

Although I have never met anyone from the Forum in person, my travels have included Ireland twice and Italy a second time in four years, I doubt I will have time to do so. I do enjoy reading the postings of many members, and feel like I could pick them out in a crowded room just by their on-line discussions. It's amazing how distinctive one's writing voice is when that's all you have to judge. 

Okay, enough blather.  Let's get to it!  How has the DCF affected me?  Well, I didn't come here in tears or looking for a life-changing discovery.  However, what I have taken away from this membership is that I feel I know gay people better and more intimately than I did before joining the Forum.  I am now interested in reading about how homophobia affected some members; how their families reacted to their coming out; how AIDS affected those who lost friends; how some suffered from youth and still do, and most of all, how so many have lived a happy and fulfilled life in spite of events that would have crippled many people. 

I can count on one hand how many gay people I know in RL, so being a member of the Forum has introduced me to so many who, even though they are virtual as opposed to real, have affected me in new ways -- I'm interested in their lives and how they live; what they do with their free time; their relationships; their happiness and, most of all, their humanity which is reflected in the kindness and understanding that they exhibit in the various commentaries I read here.

Okay, enough.  I guess I've been given more than I've contributed here. It may seem selfish, but know this: I've learned from the Forum, and for me this has been a life-changing event!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on November 15, 2007, 07:44:54 PM
...............hmmmmmm, where to start. 
my feeling exactly; since I lurked for 18 months before finally joining up, how the forum affected me before joining was totally different than after I joined. I need to compose something halfway articulate to post here. I'm working on it.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on November 16, 2007, 03:10:12 AM
This forum is already important to me. It's strange because I have only been a member for a month, I have far from discovered all the threads and I have just started to learn to know other members.

The film blew of as a bomb or something in my life sunday september 30. Except for my family and closest friends everything in my life had before that changed in so many ways. I was (am) in mourning and in less than a year I went from being much too busy, always surrounded by others to nearly isolated. I had for too long arranged things for others or been a support for friends in need without noticing it was not a two way thing. In a way I had a public persona a lot of people was attracted to I guess. It hurt me so much. It still does as I now and then keep on trying.

So right now I am really sensitive to rejections IRL and overwhelmed with my strong reactions to the film and all that is going through my mind. A lot of things, some I will probably never ever talk about. As I could not imagine to talk to someone I know about BBM I searched the internet and found the forum. I started to read ‘how Brokeback affected me’, both from the archived and the continued thread. Behind the words I recognized real human beings, real people and warm hearts. Without hesitation I decided to join. Never mind I had no experiences from communicating like this before. Never mind opinions about using internet instead of real life relationships. For me, right now,  this forum is the opposite to stay more or less isolated and to keep most of my emotions within.

I can also say that some of the the easier threads are important. When I joined I thought I needed the threads for analyzing and deeper thoughts more. When I spent time at the easier threads I thought I did so to get used to the forum and writing in English. Some nights ago at the Diner I discovered that what I am really looking for now is some fun. I spend too much time crying as it is. We laughed so hard, the strangest thing really to do with people so far away. To me a new and wonderful experience.

You all made this a welcoming and friendly place. It already affects me a lot.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on November 16, 2007, 06:11:31 AM
Some nights ago at the Diner I discovered that what I am really looking for now is some fun. I spend too much time crying as it is. We laughed so hard, the strangest thing really to do with people so far away. To me a new and wonderful experience.

You all made this a welcoming and friendly place. It already affects me a lot.

I'm so glad that you have joined us, Mia, and that you are enjoying it here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: royandronnie on November 21, 2007, 10:33:03 PM
I thought it would be appropriate to post this on Thanksgiving…

You know, the thing is that Cullen.com has become such a part of me, and my life, that it's kind of hard to filter out the effect it's had on me after a year and a half. But tell you what--it ain't no little thing.

God. What a ride it's been. I think it was links to pictures that brought me here first. That, and the glimmering of an understanding of the story deeper than the surface that I uncovered on IMDB or something: "Does Lureen mean more than she says with 'husbands don't never seem to want a dance with their wives?'" But you had to join the site to find out more, and I wasn't a joiner. And then I ended up here, and started reading. And joining. And soon, writing.

I have the soul of Jack inside the shell of Ennis--a natural loner who doesn't meet others easily. And of course, you hear all kinds of horror stories about meeting people you've been talking to on the Internet. But a year ago October something moved me to take the plunge with Canstandit when I found out where she lives just as I was going there myself--and I've never looked back. One thing the Forum has certainly done is make me put myself in the path of people I don't know and let the chips fall where they may.

Certainly reading and writing in Elements and Themes has sharpened my thinking. While Ennis and Jack's Sex Life and Ignorant Straight Girls has been an eye-opener of a rather different sort! But of course my heart belongs to Photocaptions. What joy, and what poignance I have found in there.

I feel like I'm just stuttering here. I want to say that I've learned an awful lot, most of it terrible, about being gay. I knew you who are faced discrimination and violence, but I didn't know a thing about the pain and shame that have been a part of so many of your lives. It's just absurd that so many are driven to drink, drugs, food bingeing, self-hatred and suicide because they just want to fuck and love someone with the same genitals. It is so wrong.

But I’ve also learned something else about being gay: two partners of the same sex have the freedom to define their relationship without any of the automatic pressure to conform to gender stereotype that all hetero couples know. As a square peg of a straight woman, I envy you that.

You've all given me so much--stimulation of intellect, belly laughs, sex ed, empathy, friendship, and even admiration from those who have taken the time to comment on my fiction and poetry--and sometimes on my Photocaptions and other postings too.

All this from a movie about two gay cowboys. They didn't live happily ever after, but we seem to be managing it pretty well, most days.

The movie will always stand alone and beautiful, and those beautiful men will always move through their great and terrible story with the same terrible inevitability. But in here, in each and all of us, we have our own Brokeback on which Jack and Ennis live forever, and because of each other, and them, we have all taken our small steps to make sure that someday their tragedy will be almost incomprehensible.

Anyway. Regards from my bit of the Mountain, and especially to:

Canstandit                                iwishiknew           
Brokeback_1 and Katrina                       HR
Gnash                                ingmarnicebbmt
CellarDweller                             Oregondoggie
Amdaz                                Cynical21
Mouk                                   Lyle(Mooska)
Jannis                                jasonwv
Desecra                                planetgal471
Ministering Angel                             maturben
TwistandShout                              Boris
Bobby19in1963                             Jack
Tfmisc                                RodneyFL/WY
RickB                                   Lauragigs
Baileymoyes                                  freetraveller

Janjo                                   Sienata
Bubo                                   Dal
Magicmountain                             Sandy
Rosewood                                Nax
backtobrokeback                             Lance
trubrokeback                             beckela
B73                                   citygirl
BigEd                                   denimgirl
TexRob                                killersmom
EDelMar                                PatSinnott
Vic                                   ruth
Sid401K                                littledarlin
Doodler                                en e me
chapeaugris                             Melisande
jnov                                   LoveEmBoys
gres                                   bcatjr

lintelomiel
peggyz
twistfullheart
lovelyamazing
ImJack/ImEnnis
mwp2paris
Girolamo

With special thanks of course to…Dave

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: freetraveller on November 21, 2007, 11:22:42 PM
I have the soul of Jack inside the shell of Ennis...

Thank you so much, Charlotte, for your beautiful & eloquent post  :-*
That quote above struck me deeply: I am not too dissimilar and that's probably why Ennis and Jack have taken such a special place in my soul, I can't think of one without the other.
Happy Thanksgiving from *this* side of the mountain  ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on November 22, 2007, 10:57:05 AM
Charlotte, thanks sooo much for sharing your thoughts here!

I had the opportunity to meet Charlotte in Estes Park, and was not disappointed.  She is a wonderful, and interesting woman, and has a tender heart.

When we parted ways in Estes Park, Charlotte approached me with a small gift she had found in one of the shops there, and placed it in my hand.  It was a heart shaped stone.  She also gave me a sweet message to go with it, that I will keep to myself.

I have that heart on my dresser in my bedroom, and see it every day when I wake up.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Oregondoggie on November 22, 2007, 01:30:20 PM
Charlotte has sent up a prayer of thanks for all of us...
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on November 25, 2007, 10:52:57 AM
Have been trying to put my thoughts together since first mentioning this idea to Dave and Meli - Here is where I am so far....

Being a member of any internet forum has been an incredibly learning experience for me…

When I first read Brokeback in 2005, it floored my world, and I did not know how to find people to talk to about it. Through some google searching I ended up finding Dave’s original blog, and made a post. I felt incredibly exposed and thought that I had laid myself open. There were several replies, and I got an email from Parenthetical Greg, and we became friends, and he really got me through the next couple of months before the film came out.

Every time I saw the trailer on the website it made me cry, and listening to Teddy Thompson’s album at that time continuously is synonymous with the way that I was feeling, desolate, alone and missing out on important LIFE…

The forum came into being in December 2005, and I was not able to join it – It was too BIG and intimidating and it felt like everyone in the world was reading what I wrote, and knew exactly who I was.

Greg again persuaded me, and signed up my membership.

At first I was nervous and then found the thread for UK members started by HelenUK, and it was great to interact with other UK members, and as the film released in the UK, to talk about the impact here and understand it…. Also to read of all the other experiences around the world, although not living there not fully understanding.

The forum was an utter sanctuary of people who knew exactly where I was in my life as they were in the same place.

Over the next few months it gave an opportunity to get to know some of the posters better, and through chat in the diner, become cyber friends with many…

As in life when you meet a new bunch of people, some that you are firstly close to drift away, and some you separate yourself from, and then there are those that you become closer and closer to and they become part of your regular life, and enrich it immensely.   

My relationship with the forum has at times been stormy… Sometimes I get so incensed by the attitudes and opinions of some posters that it makes it necessary to disappear for a while, but not to the point of deleting my account. I want to be able to look back at what I wrote, and even if it’s not how I feel now, it’s a reminder of how I felt then, at that point in time. Like looking at old photos…Feeling that nostalgia.

Whoever thought that we would get to that stage with an internet forum.LOL  :D :D :D :D

BUT above all else, when there are things happening in my life the forum is still like a haven of hope, and to find familiar and NEW faces all the time is immensely important to my life.

My forum life, compliments my real life, and I do not get the two confused or rolled into one – It just does not work that way for me.

If three years ago someone said to me that I would spend holidays and Christmas/New Year with a bunch of people I met on the internet – I would have told them they were MAD!!!!!!!

Yet here I am, and so grateful for the support, love and friendship that I have. Am not going to name names, otherwise I am sure I would miss someone out, but you know who you are…  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

But I feel that I must especially mention:

Sarah/BBMBLISS - You are a special friend and I am really grateful to have you in my life  :-*

Jari/Boris - You are like a big brother to me - I love the time we spend together and all the wisdom you impart  :-*

Jackie/PaintedShoes - To me the love, affection and care you give radiates from your heart and to me you are the matriach of the forum  :-*

Nellie/McNell - We met in 2006 and those 3 days with you still have a HUGE impact on me - We have a connection that I am so grateful for  :-*

There are literally hundreds more, but enough gushing for now  ;D   

And special thanks to Dave Cullen – I know why you originally set up your blog, but to have the forum grow and grow, and to continue to put your time and energy into it is amazing. I know how much the arguing and disagreements are irritating, but thanks for sticking with it all, and continuing to add your name and energy to the forum…  ;D :) ;) :-*

I know I will be here for its duration, in varying amounts, but here…       
 
     
 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on November 25, 2007, 11:30:55 AM
Great post, Wayne.    :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: paintedshoes on November 25, 2007, 02:33:21 PM
I hope you know how very much I love you, Wayne...not because of those lovely words you said about me, but because of the great heart you have and the great love YOU give to all around you.

This Forum allowed, encouraged, maybe even FORCED a lot of us to look at ourselves through the mirror of a film, and the friendships we made here are what keep this place ALIVE....with feeling, with laughter, with not a few tears and no little anger, but ALIVE.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: bbmbliss on November 26, 2007, 12:51:19 AM
...
Being a member of any internet forum has been an incredibly learning experience for me…
...

The forum was an utter sanctuary of people who knew exactly where I was in my life as they were in the same place.
....
As in life when you meet a new bunch of people...there are those that you become closer and closer to and they become part of your regular life, and enrich it immensely.   
....
BUT above all else, when there are things happening in my life the forum is still like a haven of hope
....
If three years ago someone said to me that I would spend holidays and Christmas/New Year with a bunch of people I met on the internet – I would have told them they were MAD!!!!!!!

Yet here I am, and so grateful for the support, love and friendship that I have.
...

Great post Wayne.  And so much of it is true for me too. 

Especially the part about our friendship.  :-*  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on November 26, 2007, 01:48:43 PM

<snip>

The forum was an utter sanctuary of people who knew exactly where I was in my life as they were in the same place.

As in life when you meet a new bunch of people, some that you are firstly close to drift away, and some you separate yourself from, and then there are those that you become closer and closer to and they become part of your regular life, and enrich it immensely.   

My relationship with the forum has at times been stormy… Sometimes I get so incensed by the attitudes and opinions of some posters that it makes it necessary to disappear for a while, but not to the point of deleting my account. I want to be able to look back at what I wrote, and even if it’s not how I feel now, it’s a reminder of how I felt then, at that point in time. Like looking at old photos…Feeling that nostalgia.


My forum life, compliments my real life, and I do not get the two confused or rolled into one – It just does not work that way for me.



Wayne,

Thank you so much for your kind words. You know I feel the same way about you too.

During our Thanksgiving I had many thoughts of this same exact conversation go thru my mind. About this Forum,the craziness of it all,how it's changing and not as appealing,if I might be honest and admit to say. But in the overall,having had the opportunities that I had,meeting everyone or having conversations via phone..it's been a tremendous high for me,something I never dreamed would happen. I don't allow myself to get into the drama in here,the soap operish atmosphere is just not my style,but I'm still grateful for the PM's and for the simple chats we do have still.

You are one of my sweethearts I call "sweet pea" or "baby cakes"...you know I only call those I feel that connection to ,the one who is like a brother to me,and you are indeed one of those people.

Whatever happens in this Forum happens to this Forum..doesn't mean it will happen to US...we are separated by this Forum and yes even though it brought us together because of Dave,who I thank also,btw...the hardships and stupidity that continues in here should not affect how we are to each other...true friends is just that..I do want to thank Dave for putting up with people's shit..although at times he may get the wrong vibes,he may not get the TRUE story behind all this madness... it's his Forum..what happens happens and what already happened is done...over!

I look forward to a better future with some of you members in here..I still and will always hold you and some of the others close to my heart,Wayne....just remember this, just because we no longer chat like old times,doesn't mean I don't think of you and love you just the same...

Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Romeo164 on December 01, 2007, 01:17:55 AM
I normally don't post in any of the forum, mainly because what I have to say have been said so well by all of you. To me this forum allows me to somehow connect with other people, even though I have not met any of you in person. I really want to thank Dave for starting this. It's hard to imagine a few more forums that have branched off. I don't know how long we can keep this going but I hope as long as we remember the feeling that came over us when we saw Brokeback Mountain for the first (few) times. Take care guys.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on December 01, 2007, 08:54:20 AM
Romeo, Nice to meet you!

Glad that you feel a sense of connection here!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Boris on December 02, 2007, 02:19:44 PM
How do you measure a miracle? let's put it this way: I can't imagine my life without this experience, the people I have been riviliged to meet through this forum. I read "Beyong Brokeback" again today... and I do believe that this journey we've taken together has made me more open, more lloving and stronger.

But how do you describe it?

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes!
525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

It's time now to sing out, tho the story never ends.
Let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Measure in love.
Seasons of love!
Seasons of love.


In 30 days I'll have been a memeber for two whole years. It's 730 days, one million fiftyone thousand two hundred minutes. That's plenty of love and friendship.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: paintedshoes on December 02, 2007, 02:41:39 PM
Oh, Jari, I beg to differ.  Never enough love and friendship...never enough.

Thank you for being such a good friend to so many of us here. Our lives are richer for knowing you.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Boris on December 02, 2007, 02:52:54 PM
Oh, Jari, I beg to differ.  Never enough love and friendship...never enough.

Thank you for being such a good friend to so many of us here. Our lives are richer for knowing you.

Sweetheart, I didn't mean that I'm done yet... :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: paintedshoes on December 02, 2007, 02:53:37 PM
Well, alrighty then!   ;)   :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on December 02, 2007, 03:25:37 PM
Jari, that was such a great post!!!!

thanks for placing it here so we could read it!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on December 02, 2007, 04:13:00 PM
((((((((((JARI YSTÄVÄ))))))))))))))!!!!!!!!!!

Not mutually inconsistent at all, there's plenty of love and friendship, and never enough! Thank you all for being here.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on December 03, 2007, 04:11:04 AM
It's time now to sing out, tho the story never ends.
Let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.


In 30 days I'll have been a memeber for two whole years. It's 730 days, one million fiftyone thousand two hundred minutes. That's plenty of love and friendship.


Jari, great post, and it's so nice to know you and to have you here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on December 16, 2007, 03:27:23 PM
Jari, you have said so well what I have been thinking.  Although I have had the priviledge of meeting only a few people in person, I feel a connection to so many here.  I do feel it's a miracle! Thank you for your beautiful post.........
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Dave Cullen on December 25, 2007, 10:06:44 AM
two years and one day ago, i was in this very spot--the downstairs office/den at the corp apt where i did a lot of consulting work on the side. that day i was rushing iron out the final kinks with meli and greg to decide to go live so we could all get to our damn families' houses.

i don't recall envisioning a second christmas at the forum. we figured the film had a two or three month run, and you all would be done. how sweet that so many of us decided to stay. and so many new people keep wandering in.

this year i expected to post again on the same day, but felt the time squeeze and didn't make it. i've been feeling too many squeezes lately, too much pressure and gave myself the day off everything--except dealing with my family, which went well.

it was nice to wake up this morning and have time to come down here to chat with you all more leisurely. i wish i could say my life felt leisurely. it will again in a few months, i pray. but it's just really nice to have this place to come home to. i can't say visiting with my family feels like home. this does. what a relief.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: sarah on December 25, 2007, 10:20:09 AM
Dave, what a beautiful sentiment about that feeling of "home".  I know it well, thanks to this spectacular movie.  As I move from Christams festivities to the grading of my students' final exams (finally!), I will read their analyses of Brokeback Mountain for the second semester  and realize how the story, the emotions and the continued reverence for Jack and Ennis' love has seeped into every part of my life, both personal and professional.  Merry Christmas to all, and continued love and communication.

Sarah :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on December 25, 2007, 12:15:04 PM
two years and one day ago, i was in this very spot--the downstairs office/den at the corp apt where i did a lot of consulting work on the side. that day i was rushing iron out the final kinks with meli and greg to decide to go live so we could all get to our damn families' houses.
although you guys were working out the html stuff, and i was just along for the moral support and back up live person, i do recall being there as well.  ;)  ;=
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Bethie on December 25, 2007, 07:32:13 PM
Y'all ready for a long!ass post here?  ;=   :D

God! I can't believe it. My two year anniversay is coming up soon, next month as a matter
of fact.

Guh!! I remember my first post here. I thought I was going to throw up, wanted to throw
myself off a cliff, had the worst shame attack of all time... posting my reaction to a movie.
How dumb was that?

Then, Killersmom, aka Auntie, aka Linda, responded to my post and what do you know?
LOL.  ;D I'm still here. Jackie, my darling friend, as she is, too, to all of us, responded to
my post and really eased my way into the forum. Thank you!!!!!

If it wasn't for this place, I doubt I'd be here today. The forum saved me. The Slash Threads saved me.
The Effect me Thread saved me. For those, I'm still on the planet. That was the closest I've
ever come to saying good-bye. That pain was unbelievable, unbearable, but now? I miss it.
Sounds weird, but it's true. The ghost of that pain is still there , whispers every now and then and I
hang onto that, because that keeps me close to Jack and Ennis, and all people who have been denied.

I've been to hell and back again with some things that I've encountered here on the forum, by meeting
and becoming close to some members here that were/are of this forum. Really turned me off that this
movie could dredge up so much hate and anger. It made me look at myself and the motives of others.
I decided that I can't control them, can't make them see/act differently. Let be, let be.

Breaks my heart that some things have come to pass, that were totally un-necessary.  >:(  :-\

But the friendships that I have made, and that are now long lasting, to this day, far out weigh the crap
I've been through and been made to feel. This is the first time in my life where I have so much gladness
and goodwill in my heart, it scares me. I'm happy!! Who'da thought.  ::)

All in all, the one thing I can say that is for true and for sure, is that Dave Cullen is a god! and if it
were not for this forum, I wouldn't be the person I am today, I wouldn't have the friends that I have and
made, world wide even!

Thanks to Annie and Co., Dave C. and everyone here for the best damn two years of my life. The places
I've been, the things that I have done!!  ;D  :o  ::)  :D Woot!! Two years! Is it possible to be this affected
by a movie, by two fictional beings? I want to spend the next two years with these guys and people who
think the same way. I know that for some it is/was time to move on. I miss them, and wish they'd a hung
around. It's rare to meet people who actually "get it". Ah, well.  :-\

I'm afraid though, that I may be the last person standing here on this forum when it is all said and done.
But that's okay. It'll make my heart glad.

oxoxoxox

Beth

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on December 25, 2007, 07:44:51 PM
Bethie, sometimes, being new here, it's not so easy to understand everything that has been going on.

I'm still just so happy I've found this place and met you all.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Bethie on December 25, 2007, 08:08:43 PM
Bethie, sometimes, being new here, it's not so easy to understand everything that has been going on.

I'm still just so happy I've found this place and met you all.

It's all water under the bridge, now!!

So glad that you are here.  :-*

There is not a day that goes by where I am not grateful. I've given up on trying to figure
things out. I now concentrate on what I have.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on December 25, 2007, 08:13:41 PM
Bethie, sometimes, being new here, it's not so easy to understand everything that has been going on.

I'm still just so happy I've found this place and met you all.

It's all water under the bridge, now!!

So glad that you are here.  :-*

There is not a day that goes by where I am not grateful. I've given up on trying to figure
things out. I now concentrate on what I have.

So good to hear!

I am greatful too. And I am so glad that I have met you here!
 :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on December 26, 2007, 03:45:39 AM

Beth, what a post! Yee-haw!

Very moving, very candid, very 'true'.

I loved reading it, and I am very glad to find parts and aspects of myself in what you've written so beautifully.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on December 26, 2007, 12:40:44 PM
How has the DCF affected me? I spend a great deal of my life here. I love it. I have met, both on line, and in person some absolutely wonderful people. I've learned to write a cogent argument. I've learned to write short fiction. I, despite being straight, will stand up for the rights of my gay brothers and sisters at the drop of a hat. I have started researching gay history. (It has done something for my IT skills too)
What a wonderful life changing rollercoaster it has been.
Mostly, it's the people. I know quite a few gay people in real life, but none so well as I know so many of you from your writings, and communications. There have been ups and downs, but mostly such understanding and kindness.
We can stand together in love and solidarity.
All because of DCF!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Bethie on December 26, 2007, 12:50:21 PM
Hear! Hear!!

 ;D

Thanks janjo for your post.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on December 26, 2007, 04:07:03 PM
I joined this forum at 5:55 PM on Dec. 26th, 2005

It's now 6:05 on Dec. 26th, 2007.

It has been a wild ride for the past two years, and I'm so glad that you all have been a part of it with me!

2 years after I first came out, I thought to myself that I grew more as a man in those two years, than I had before.

I feel like I can say the same thing now, two years after first finding the forum.

I will never be the same, and I am thankful for that.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 27, 2007, 02:36:44 AM
On December 26, 2005, 08:19:06 AM, I made up my screen name, my password and joined in here. It was the best thing I could have done. I was two weeks away from seeing the movie for the first time, but had read the short story and had seen so many of the trailers, foreign and English, and many more scenes taken from the movie since it had opened long before at the film festivals.

Even though I had not seen it yet, I felt that something momentous was going to happen. Even after all that I still was not prepared for my reaction.

I had posted just a bit before seeing the movie, just enough to get around, but once I saw it, this forum became my refuge. I had no one to talk to personally about all that was going on with me, so coming and talking to everyone here, sharing the same things we all were experiencing, kept me sane.

Sharing these last two years here with everyone has been one of the best experiences of my life. The forum has been here to help me through the various stages of my reaction to the movie, the people have been here to support me then at the early stages, and now to support me in my real life.

The family I have made here has been one of the most important blessings of my life. Without all of them, my life now would less rich, experiences less full.

Thanks Dave, thanks Melisande, thanks Greg, especially thanks Gnash, and thanks all of you I am blessed to count as friends and family. As Dave said above, this is home.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on December 27, 2007, 03:17:17 AM
The places I've been, the things that I have done!!  ;D  :o  ::)  :D Woot!!


Just about sums it up for me too Bethie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on December 27, 2007, 03:18:43 AM
Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*


Sweetheart, I think that may be Ricky!!!

besos!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on December 27, 2007, 02:45:17 PM
Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*


Sweetheart, I think that may be Ricky!!!

besos!

ahhhhhhhhhh....whut?!?....lmao

XO
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Dave Cullen on December 27, 2007, 03:20:19 PM
it's so nice reading so many stories of what an impact the place has made. i think that's the nicest christmas present i got this week.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on December 27, 2007, 05:23:13 PM
Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*


Sweetheart, I think that may be Ricky!!!

besos!

Ricky was Cuban.  :D

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: milomorris on December 27, 2007, 06:33:06 PM
OK..here goes...

I lurked around over here for months before I finally started posting. I had been (and still am) posting at the BBM Yahoo groups. I found them first after seeing the movie and reading the OS. I think it might have been Connie Bailey who made a reference to the Slash Links. So I would pop in over here to look up stories.

Please understand, finding that resource was HUGE for me. I don't read BBM fanfiction for entertainment purposes (well...ok...sometimes). No, I find the stories therapeutic. BBM opened up a whole can of emotional and spiritual whoop-ass inside me. There were and still are many issues that I needed some help dealing with, and putting into perspective. The authors who write fanfiction deal with most if not all of those issues in their stories.

The person that got me to stop lurking was amdaz. I'm not even sure if he's here any more. He saw something I posted about Cold Case:Forever Blue in the Yahoo group, and invited me to post in that thread over here. So I stopped lurking. That means I've been posting here for a little over a year.

Its been good. A guy can always use more friends, right?

- I enjoy the Slash Discussion thread, as long as there's not a flame war doing on  >:D

- Early on I got some great feedback about my partner's OCD in the Discussion about Mental Disorders thread

- Ive learned all kinds of interesting things in the Gay History thread. Michael is an invaluable resource.

- There have been many good discussions in the Media Coverage thread, and Is society really as accepting as it claims.

- I enjoy reading the experiences and thoughts of others in the How Brokeback Affected Me thread.

- My partner is happy that I'm spending time talking to people online who are not opera singers  :D

I think the coolest thing about this place is that there is such a wide range of discussions going on in all kinds of threads all the time. We even have an opera thread!! Honestly, there's more going on here at DCF than one person could possibly keep up with, but its fun trying.

Milo
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on December 27, 2007, 06:53:03 PM
Hello Milo!

I'm glad you're enjoying your stay here!


The person that got me to stop lurking was amdaz. I'm not even sure if he's here any more.


Yes, Amdaz is still a member, and posted as recently as 2 weeks ago, before the holidays.  He said that life was busy, but he would be back and around again.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on December 27, 2007, 07:46:15 PM
It was the same for me too, Milo.........only the person that finally got me to join up really is not a member here any longer. Strange feeling, but I stayed anyway, and keep track of him from others, so all is well. I'm still trying to decide how the Forum has affected me, strange as this may sound, I actually enjoyed 'lurking' before joining. But I have found many warm and understanding folks in here, think I'll stay awhile longer, feels right..........thanks Dave for this place........
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Petrus Christus on December 27, 2007, 11:01:21 PM
it's so nice reading so many stories of what an impact the place has made. i think that's the nicest christmas present i got this week.

  Man......!!!!!!!!!!!...., we freakin' love you !!!

  Your idea for this amazing blog was the spark that unleashed so much creative energy....!!!, and enabled countless numbers of us to experience emotional release, real liberation and a unique fellowship!
  We even have our very own book in our national archive,The Library of Congress.., thanks to you!

  Blessings on you in the coming year Dave!  You are 'da Man'..!

  Zadoc
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Brokeback_1 on December 28, 2007, 03:49:41 AM
Well, since joining--in itself something I 'didn't do'--this forum has not only provided a place to bounce ideas and get encouragement, but a place where I'd get told to stuff it when going off the deep end. My blowups on here have been rare and brief but memorable>>>>but memorable as well  was the  kindness afterwards.  The scene by scene and elements  helped to get my mind working again, scary though  that may sound LOL. The 'risk taking' involved with meeting complete strangers made me more stable as a man, more confident. For the first time in a very long while I began exploring, began opening up again. There is a lot to do still, but Cellardwellar's saying>>>I'm not where I want to be but  at least I'm not where I USED to be---says it all. For every annoying person here, there are 30 lovely human beings whose presence  negates the annoyance. The awesome example set by people like Chuck, jack, royandronnie, JeffWrangler, FrontRanger, Adam, Rodney, WLAjoe, desertrat, CSI, Jackie, Heidi and Carol, Linda, Marian, The Truly Humbling Tellyouwhat--and so many others---made me into what I hope is a better man.

 The feeling felt after viewing BBM the first time has never left me, and this place provided a refuge and boost, a place to connect....to "work it through".
 The love, caution, encouragement, and yes the  AGGRAVATION and occasional rage extended by and to  and with  this forum's people  helped me to re-connect with life. They--YOU--helped give me the guts to re-connect with my exBF after FOUR F'ING YEARS. The example and guts of so many of you helped very very much in understanding the lessons of Brokeback.

The Forum helped me to not" do an Ennis", helped me to  say I Love You to a woman I'd fallen for when we were both 19, a woman who is now my  wife. It helped me stand tall and ask for her after 30 years of saying Let BE, after 15 years of trying to be the father to her beautiful boy,  whose biofather "couldn't be bothered". Members, no, FRIENDS  here   helped me  get engaged with STYLE, hat over my heart in front of half of Wyoming. Later, those fiends  helped me to get married w/o losing my mind.

The Forum led me to re-connect with Manhattan. It actually got me to MOVE to Denver and the Front Range, which made my wife's family know I meant business! Now, I can't say I've ever LOVED either Metro-Denver OR the Front Range but had always thought them 'OK'....yet  over the past 2 years I have learned to LOATHE Metro- Denver and the Front Range along with the whole state of Colorado [lolololololol].  So that one is a bit of  a mixed blessing.....but Wyoming is 90 miles away......while the Apple  is usually but not always 129 bucks each way on JetBlue. Like I said, that one is a mixed blessing.....but it gave and daily gives Katrina the knowledge that her husband  Loves HER Enough to settle here even when he whispers And let's get the hell out when the real estate market recovers, OK honey???!!!
We are downtown. It could be MUCH worse: we could be in the   >:D  BURBS!!! Or even worse....not together at all, her lonely in Denver, me lonely in Brooklyn.

Being on the forum definately helped get me to write again.  Yes, I attribute THAT to this Forum's Tellyouwhat, to my wife's unwavering support, attribute as well to my son's wild enthusiasm after reading a few things. On that one give credit where it's due, to Amy's Shades of Grey, to a notice on TDS which  sent some of   us to Casper, to--again--Ellen's  simple to hell with it: Let's Go. And there I met the Denver Brokies, there a group of us  directly met the awesome Miss Proulx; never underestimate  the EXAMPLE of an awesome writer who can laugh and doesn't mince words!

The forum provided a place for the human  interaction which aided and helped with all the above. Change though it has, and in some ways not for the better, let's give also give gratitude where it's due, too.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on December 28, 2007, 03:54:17 AM
My partner is happy that I'm spending time talking to people online who are not opera singers  :D

That's the funniest and wisest observation to me! I so KNOW what you mean and what he means!  ;)

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on December 28, 2007, 03:54:58 AM
Honestly, there's more going on here at DCF than one person could possibly keep up with, but its fun trying.

Beautifully said - and sooo true!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ChrisW on December 28, 2007, 04:10:28 AM
My partner is happy that I'm spending time talking to people online who are not opera singers  :D

That's the funniest and wisest observation to me! I so KNOW what you mean and what he means!  ;)


yes, all those people who are not stressed-out academics  in my case.
Dave - I don't know how to thank you - have a wonderful 2008
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on December 28, 2007, 07:59:16 AM
Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*


Sweetheart, I think that may be Ricky!!!

besos!

Ricky was Cuban.  :D



wrong generation...lol


Ricky Martin.....doll......RICKY MARTIN!!  whewwwwww ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on December 28, 2007, 08:52:51 AM
um, fritz, they are trying to tell you you have confoosed ricky RICARDO with menudo's ricky MARTIN.  :-[  :-[
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on December 28, 2007, 09:22:20 AM
um, fritz, they are trying to tell you you have confoosed ricky RICARDO with menudo's ricky MARTIN.  :-[  :-[

You mean there's another Ricky?  :D

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Bobby19in1963 on December 28, 2007, 10:08:26 PM
Hi! All:

I just went back to my first post and lifted this paragraph:

So all of your posts about what you are like with this movie running through your veins now, how you feel when you are watching it and how you feel when you're not watching it, how it seems to have taken over your life...I can relate so much with all of that...but I'm still in the closet, still badly broken mentally, and just want you all to know that your acceptance of everyone else has given me hope that I can be accepted here, too.  Thanx! for letting me unburden myself.

That was my first post on Feb 6th 2006.  Since then...whew!  It has been a 'ride without reins!'

1.  I found a wonderful therapist...and he has been good for me...but my 'therapists' here have been just as wonderful.  I've met friends from around the world who have traveled to Phoenix to meet us Arizona Brokies...and the Arizona Brokies...we've become such close-knit friends that we think of each other as family.

2.  I helped research and co-authored a book, Beyond Brokeback...the Impact of a Film, along with 176 of my fellow posters, and it feels damn good.  Generations from now, my posterity will be able to say that their Grandpa Parker was there in 'the olden days' when it was so hard for some to be gay and Mormon.

3.  I'm excited that right behind sports and pets comes the Brokeback Mountain Lovesick Diet thread with almost 2500 posts.  It didn't take me long to figure out dieting was not a favorite pastime of Forum posters!  But, it has continued, even in my absence in all my bizziness, to provide wonderful support to all who come wanting to shed a few pounds, or maintain their hard won losses.

4.  I turned the disaster that was my venture 'out' to Phoenix Pride into the wonderful success that was the Rainbows Festival.

5.  I found a local MCC church, the Gentle Shepherd, and have a new family of friends there.  Knowing them led me to Patience Huntwork who, when I so Ennis-like decided I couldn't, insisted that I had to go ahead and write an OP-ED piece for my local paper (circulation 188,000) and come out as a Gay Mormon and call the Church to repentance for their horrible treatment of Gays.  Activism and my little MCC church go together, so I am on an Arizona-wide Would Jesus Discriminate? Campaign Committee...we successfully convinced the National MCC HQ to adopt it as their 40th Anniversary Project for 2008...and we're kicking it off at the SUPER BOWL right here in Glendale, Arizona.

6.  The OP-ED generated 30 pages of responses so I was asked to do a video...there's nothing like being able to tell your story to the camera...warts and all...so that everyone can hear in your own voice your commitment.

7.  Equality Arizona asked me to be their featured guest on Talk Radio AM 1480 in Phoenix tomorrow morning as they discuss Mormonism and the gay community.

Where would I be without the Forum?  Well, I have an inkling.  A gay Mormon man came out a year ahead of me on the other side of the Valley.  He didn't have the Forum, so he said he immediately began going to gay bars and trying to find his place in the world.  He has had a lot of heartache, and still is kinda lost.  So, I believe I know what it would have been like...not good...not nearly what I have had with all my friends here.

Thanx! Dave Cullen...words cannot express....

Bobby

P.S. Yes, I know...this post is all me, me, me.  I prefer to believe that every one of the things I've noted is much more about others.  I acknowledge the help I've received, and because of that and my basic instincts, I'm just trying to use whatever notoriety I might have at the present to reach out to others...to help them lose weight, to help them get a better shake from their churches, to help my fellow gay Mormons in their struggle with our church.  I learned a long time ago...somebody has to do the hard stuff...and often that somebody is me.  However, without the support I've found here, I'd be a quivering mess somewhere in a dark room.  I love each and every one of you and want only the best for us all.

I love Charlotte's tag line 'from her part of The Mountain.'  I guess we all live on Brokeback now...there seems to be plenty of room for nice, spacious homes with wonderful views, a warm fire to gather round on wintry evenings, or a nice cool breeze and clear, blue skies on a summer day...and friends right near when we need them.

As we head into a New Year let me just say thanx! once again for the love, advice, and friendship so many have offered me.  I haven't been the best of posters, needy at first and seemingly too busy of late...this is still not an easy time.  I hope you will all forgive me and realize that I've fought a mighty fight to try and keep it all together and it appears that I haven't succeeded...but that's okay...what is coming out of it is a new life, with a new family, one of my own choosing this time.

I think of Ennis in that last scene and want to wrap the Forum in my arms and just say..."I swear...."

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: quithammerin on December 28, 2007, 10:55:05 PM
Thursday will be my second anniversary of seeing BBM.  I first read the story in a randomly borrowed copy of the New Yorker - and then re-read it, and re-read it. When I heard there would be a movie made called "Brokeback Mountain", my first thought was "You can't make a movie about that, the whole story is good only because of the incredible writing".  I was determined to see it, though, because the story had embedded itself in my psyche.  Especially when I saw the trailer  - they really had a tent scene!! he really said "I wish I knew how to quit you"!!I  felt a bit frightened about it, as if I was the only person who had ever read the story, and that now that it would be exposed to the world - part of me would somehow be exposed to the world.   I was tempted to see it alone, but some instinct made me insist on seeing it with my husband (who may have been just as happy to pass on it) and that turned out to be a good decision.

The rest is the history we are all familiar with - the weepiness, the obsession.  And it led me to this forum, with the kind of life-changing results many have cited: I have been in awe of so many of you - big-hearted, well-read, insightful, having many moving stories, just plain interesting people. As a direct result of it all, I have worked on appreciating the real love in my life, and I have a renewed commitment to making society safe for my GLBT sisters and brothers - I am not alone in any of this.

I've got to tell you about one little facet of this gem.  One of the things BBM did was stir up the surface of a deep anxiety I held, which was that men really prefer each other to women. That women really are of no interest or importance except possibly for sex.  I mean, I knew guys like Ennis, chain-smoking and monosyllabic, and they scared me.  They were a little menacing, but more than that, they carried with them an assurance that nothing I value is important: tender, civilized things, dreams, words, and of course women, who are frivolous and unnecessary in the world.  Annie Proulx showed me a way to look at those guys and see more than my own world being threatened.  This is no place for a detailed examination of the characters of J & E, but it's enough to say that what Annie showed me was worth seeing.
 
But then, an unexpected, wonderful thing started taking place on this forum:  it became clear that there were men - lots of them - who said they appreciated the participation of the women.  That is, men who had no sexual interest in women actually seemed to want to hear what we had to say, to like what we had to say.  I have not been one of the forum's more prolific participants, so a lot of this happened vicariously, but I can't discount the deep, deep  impact of some personal exchanges I had.

Through the DCF, I was given existence in a way I didn't ever realize I could have it. While I have been thrilled and moved to find that I'm sharing a journey with other women in various parts of the world (*waves*), I really can't overstate the significance of your acceptance, guys. Thanks, thanks, thanks.   And thanks to Dave Cullen for making it all possible. 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Oregondoggie on December 30, 2007, 03:06:57 AM
Every day the weather map on TV here in Portland shows Wyoming.  The Big Horns.  Brokenback Mountain.  Lightning Flat.  Sage. --Storms.  Sunny weather.  Wind.  Maybe snow.

Every day Dave Cullen's Forum shows Brokeback Mountain.  Some days there are storms on this thread or that.  Maybe some bluster.  Most likely the sun comes out.  Insights flower.  Jack and Ennis ride in every range.  Their campsites are everywhere. 

For two years I have turned to this forum and found answers.  Not just about Brokeback Mountain, but about myself and a whole lot of kinfolk.  I can't imagine life now without knowing the forum is here, knowing there's still a lot of white on the moon left to paw.  Have never had such an unexpectedly good time as these past two years.

Thank you Dave Cullen and all those who help keep us woolies movin!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: HazelEyedRaven on December 30, 2007, 07:15:26 PM
That pain was unbelievable, unbearable, but now? I miss it.
Sounds weird, but it's true. The ghost of that pain is still there , whispers every now and then and I
hang onto that, because that keeps me close to Jack and Ennis
, and all people who have been denied.

Bcatjr's post hits the mark for me.  I cannot tell you how many times I feel that pang or feel that ghost.  And I miss it.  Terribly. 

I have to actually make a concerted effort to NOT come to the forum.  I have made some break throughs which some of my extensive posts from last year during Bay City convey and I am grateful for that.  But still feel the rawness of my experience and sometimes just cannot bear it.

So many of you write of friendships established, extraordinary people encountered as a result of the forum.  How wonderful is that?!?  But I wish I could say that someone here actually knows me but I can't.  It's been almost 2 years and I still have to distance myself. 

But I can say that I am ever so grateful for finding this BBM forum.  Mid-February 2006, I was drowning weeks after my first viewing.  This forum showed me that I wasn't crazy and that others saw what I saw, felt what I felt, experienced what I experienced when seeing BBM.  And what a relief. 

Thank you all so very much.



Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: atruant on December 31, 2007, 11:10:09 AM
Life is family and friends.

This forum provides both.

Thank you, Dave.

Thank you all.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on December 31, 2007, 11:10:11 AM
That pain was unbelievable, unbearable, but now? I miss it.
Sounds weird, but it's true. The ghost of that pain is still there , whispers every now and then and I
hang onto that, because that keeps me close to Jack and Ennis
, and all people who have been denied.

<snip>

So many of you write of friendships established, extraordinary people encountered as a result of the forum.  How wonderful is that?!?  But I wish I could say that someone here actually knows me but I can't.  It's been almost 2 years and I still have to distance myself. 


Yeah,that newness,the "rawness" you all say of when we all came in here with that gut blow feeling is missed by so many of us..I guess we were all looking for answers..excited to meet people just like us,searching for that same thing. Once we got some questions answered,or things became more clearer to us,things changed..people changed as well.

It's hard to express right now how I feel..can't really say that some of you REALLY know me,but lots of you know me more than I ever allowed anyone to see,and to me that is a plus,I guess. To actually think that someone cares about me and is interested in ME....who would of thought? I'm forever grateful though,that's for sure.And to be able to get to know some of you and allowing me a peek of your life is wonderful....thank you all ,just for being yourselves!

Nellie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on December 31, 2007, 05:11:32 PM
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUR FRIENDS ACROSS THE WORLD FROM THE LONDON UNITED NATIONS GET TOGETHER CREW :-* :-* :-* :-*

(http://render-2.snapfish.com/render2/is=Yup6aQQ%7C%3Dup6RKKt%3Axxr%3D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%3DzrRfDUX%3AeQaQxg%3Dr%3F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQGooQnJoaaJqpfVtB%3F*KUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0P%7CRup6lQQ%7C/of=50,590,442)

Lots of Love

Marc, Florian, Wayne, Marleen, Jari and Martina
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on December 31, 2007, 06:40:11 PM
That pain was unbelievable, unbearable, but now? I miss it.
Sounds weird, but it's true. The ghost of that pain is still there , whispers every now and then and I
hang onto that, because that keeps me close to Jack and Ennis
, and all people who have been denied.

Bcatjr's post hits the mark for me.  I cannot tell you how many times I feel that pang or feel that ghost.  And I miss it.  Terribly. 

I have to actually make a concerted effort to NOT come to the forum.  I have made some break throughs which some of my extensive posts from last year during Bay City convey and I am grateful for that.  But still feel the rawness of my experience and sometimes just cannot bear it.

So many of you write of friendships established, extraordinary people encountered as a result of the forum.  How wonderful is that?!?  But I wish I could say that someone here actually knows me but I can't.  It's been almost 2 years and I still have to distance myself.  

But I can say that I am ever so grateful for finding this BBM forum.  Mid-February 2006, I was drowning weeks after my first viewing.  This forum showed me that I wasn't crazy and that others saw what I saw, felt what I felt, experienced what I experienced when seeing BBM.  And what a relief. 

Thank you all so very much.

Tracie...

When you find yourself ready for one of those friendships, remember little old me just down the road.

Recalling our connection at the Castro Theater... with goosebumps.

Hugs,
Rob
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ellen (tellyouwhat) on January 01, 2008, 12:49:39 PM
Being on the forum definately helped get me to write again.  Yes, I attribute THAT to this Forum's Tellyouwhat, to my wife's unwavering support, attribute as well to my son's wild enthusiasm after reading a few things. On that one give credit where it's due, to Amy's Shades of Grey, to a notice on TDS which  sent some of   us to Casper, to--again--Ellen's  simple to hell with it: Let's Go. And there I met the Denver Brokies, there a group of us  directly met the awesome Miss Proulx; never underestimate  the EXAMPLE of an awesome writer who can laugh and doesn't mince words!


Jack you are my oldest forum friend. That pilgrimage to Wyoming to meet Annie Proulx was the best!  Happy New Year to you and Katrina and Nick.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 02, 2008, 03:01:33 AM
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUR FRIENDS ACROSS THE WORLD FROM THE LONDON UNITED NATIONS GET TOGETHER CREW :-* :-* :-* :-*

(http://render-2.snapfish.com/render2/is=Yup6aQQ%7C%3Dup6RKKt%3Axxr%3D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%3DzrRfDUX%3AeQaQxg%3Dr%3F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQGooQnJoaaJqpfVtB%3F*KUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0P%7CRup6lQQ%7C/of=50,590,442)

Lots of Love

Marc, Florian, Wayne, Marleen, Jari and Martina
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Hey you guys.....:-* :-*......Happy New Year!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 03, 2008, 03:14:36 AM
MARTINA LOOKS LIKE SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!

LOL

and right back at ya, E....
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Dave Cullen on January 03, 2008, 11:02:48 AM
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUR FRIENDS ACROSS THE WORLD FROM THE LONDON UNITED NATIONS GET TOGETHER CREW :-* :-* :-* :-*

(http://render-2.snapfish.com/render2/is=Yup6aQQ%7C%3Dup6RKKt%3Axxr%3D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%3DzrRfDUX%3AeQaQxg%3Dr%3F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQGooQnJoaaJqpfVtB%3F*KUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0P%7CRup6lQQ%7C/of=50,590,442)

Lots of Love

Marc, Florian, Wayne, Marleen, Jari and Martina
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

ahhhhhh. pictures like this are so nice to see.

first, i just like looking at the happy people. and it's cool to think about how you never would have encountered each other without this place.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 03, 2008, 02:50:44 PM
MARTINA LOOKS LIKE SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!

LOL

and right back at ya, E....

yeah....like DRUNK maybe...bwahahah
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: HazelEyedRaven on January 04, 2008, 02:23:35 AM
That pain was unbelievable, unbearable, but now? I miss it.
Sounds weird, but it's true. The ghost of that pain is still there , whispers every now and then and I
hang onto that, because that keeps me close to Jack and Ennis
, and all people who have been denied.

Bcatjr's post hits the mark for me.  I cannot tell you how many times I feel that pang or feel that ghost.  And I miss it.  Terribly. 

I have to actually make a concerted effort to NOT come to the forum.  I have made some break throughs which some of my extensive posts from last year during Bay City convey and I am grateful for that.  But still feel the rawness of my experience and sometimes just cannot bear it.

So many of you write of friendships established, extraordinary people encountered as a result of the forum.  How wonderful is that?!?  But I wish I could say that someone here actually knows me but I can't.  It's been almost 2 years and I still have to distance myself.  

But I can say that I am ever so grateful for finding this BBM forum.  Mid-February 2006, I was drowning weeks after my first viewing.  This forum showed me that I wasn't crazy and that others saw what I saw, felt what I felt, experienced what I experienced when seeing BBM.  And what a relief. 

Thank you all so very much.

Tracie...

When you find yourself ready for one of those friendships, remember little old me just down the road.

Recalling our connection at the Castro Theater... with goosebumps.

Hugs,
Rob

I do remember and think of you often.  I'm kind of like a stray cat.  I don't really connect to anyone right away but do eventually come around.  (Sound like anyone you know?  ENNIS!!!)

I've been perusing the old posts from 2 years ago, my own and others.  I've checked to see how long some of the members who were really active back then have been gone or idle.  Some stopped shortly after the movie left the theaters, many after the summer of '06.  I remember HEAVY traffic back in the early days.  And I wonder to myself, "Where did everybody go?  How did they move on?  Was this just a blip on their radar, a turning point or brief trend that has passed?"  Not to diminish those who have stayed and are certainly more active than me, but I can't help but look back with sorrow, reminiscing, longing for those days, wishing they'd return. 

I wish I could contact all these people and ask them all those questions.  What did it mean?  How did it affect them?  How come they don't come back?  Does it still affect them?  Or has it passed?

I wonder these things because my own BBM experience, while enlightening, has been like a terrible heartbreak for me.  Anyone know what I mean?  I've had my heart broken before and it hurts terribly.  I have that same feeling with BBM and the whole period of time around the movie's original theater time.  I long for that time the way I long for an old lover that has gone away.

I wish I could bring it back.  I wish I could turn back the clock.  Go back to that time and place, immerse myself in it and stay forever. 

But I can't.  I can't make it come back.  And I miss it so terribly.

Sound familiar?  Those words could be words Ennis thought after he lost Jack. 

Interesting.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 04, 2008, 05:45:23 AM
Tracie...

When you find yourself ready for one of those friendships, remember little old me just down the road.

Recalling our connection at the Castro Theater... with goosebumps.

Hugs,
Rob

I do remember and think of you often.  I'm kind of like a stray cat.  I don't really connect to anyone right away but do eventually come around.  (Sound like anyone you know?  ENNIS!!!)

I've been perusing the old posts from 2 years ago, my own and others.  I've checked to see how long some of the members who were really active back then have been gone or idle.  Some stopped shortly after the movie left the theaters, many after the summer of '06.  I remember HEAVY traffic back in the early days.  And I wonder to myself, "Where did everybody go?  How did they move on?  Was this just a blip on their radar, a turning point or brief trend that has passed?"  Not to diminish those who have stayed and are certainly more active than me, but I can't help but look back with sorrow, reminiscing, longing for those days, wishing they'd return. 

I wish I could contact all these people and ask them all those questions.  What did it mean?  How did it affect them?  How come they don't come back?  Does it still affect them?  Or has it passed?

I wonder these things because my own BBM experience, while enlightening, has been like a terrible heartbreak for me.  Anyone know what I mean?  I've had my heart broken before and it hurts terribly.  I have that same feeling with BBM and the whole period of time around the movie's original theater time.  I long for that time the way I long for an old lover that has gone away.

I wish I could bring it back.  I wish I could turn back the clock.  Go back to that time and place, immerse myself in it and stay forever. 

But I can't.  I can't make it come back.  And I miss it so terribly.

Sound familiar?  Those words could be words Ennis thought after he lost Jack. 

Interesting.

Tracie, I am biased, but Rob is a real sweetheart and he believes in this "connected greater whole" and speaks of you and your "strange" encounter in mystical terms. As a consequence he and I too believe it is a connection of significance.

I was fortunate, I think, that so soon after BBM trashed all that I knew, I met Rob and between us we must have spent hundreds of hours talking out that BBM devastation and we were able to make that "hurt" something positive for us.

I used to be one of the forum's high posters, in and out of many threads both serious and trivial. Spending hours & hours here, talking communicating with all and sundry, new and old. There was a vibrancy and a sense of longing here in the early months of the forum, that I agree certainly is not here now.

But having said that many people eventually understood what the film did for them and meant for them. This meaning was absorbed into who they are and many, many of us have changed our lives, added to our circle of friends and look at life anew. But it is clear from comments made recently, that people miss those days, miss those feelings. For many it was the first time they had allowed themselves to truly feel anything in years and that can be a very energising experience. Like yourself and Bethie, people miss the hurt, the bittersweet pit that they found in themselves.

We all react differingly, we all cope in differing ways, we all heal at different speeds, we all get nourished by different things.

I thought that BBM moving me was a thing of the past, but just recently in the midst of illness and Christmas loneliness, I decided to listen to the BBM orchestral score. And very much to my own surprise, I found it devastating - it took me back to how I felt in the first few weeks after seeing the movie the first time. Perversely I was comforted by how I felt.

There was however, a realisation that because my world has gone through a total change since those early days, the sadness & rawness I felt was for new things. No longer was I crying over my own bitterness, emptiness and hopelessness like I was in 2006, but crying for a happiness that is, for the time being, just beyond my reach, crying for the suffering of a parent that will only get worse in 2008, crying for new things in me.

So yes it does move on, but it isn't the film/forum that is different, it is me. I learnt to change and cope after the film and the early days of the forum. I also learnt that there are people to turn/talk to if i need them. I learnt that the depth of feeling is still within me (believe me I had wondered whether I still had it).

I don't need to get it back, I am just glad I know I can feel it again in the future. Energy is better spent on acceptance and learning.

I choose to find happiness (despite how difficult that is to remember at times)

Nick
xxxxx
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on January 04, 2008, 07:27:25 AM
Nick I only know you and Rob from your writings, but I am sure you will be together soon, and that will make you very happy again.

Even though we have not met, you and Rob are often in my thoughts. :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 04, 2008, 07:34:14 AM
Nick I only know you and Rob from your writings, but I am sure you will be together soon, and that will make you very happy again.

Even though we have not met, you and Rob are often in my thoughts. :-* :-*

Thank you for your thoughts.  :-* How lovely of you to say!

I hope I didn't give the impression that I was in the throes of deep depression. I'm not - another gift of the film/forum.

It is just that although I am seldom moved by the film, and I was surprised (and happy) that I still have the capacity to feel that much, but about other things, real things, even now.

The forum gave me many things.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 04, 2008, 08:57:27 AM

<snip>

  I've checked to see how long some of the members who were really active back then have been gone or idle. 

I wish I could bring it back.  I wish I could turn back the clock.  Go back to that time and place, immerse myself in it and stay forever. 

But I can't.  I can't make it come back.  And I miss it so terribly.


<snip>

I used to be one of the forum's high posters, in and out of many threads both serious and trivial. Spending hours & hours here, talking communicating with all and sundry, new and old. There was a vibrancy and a sense of longing here in the early months of the forum, that I agree certainly is not here now.

<snip>

So yes it does move on, but it isn't the film/forum that is different, it is me. I learnt to change and cope after the film and the early days of the forum. I also learnt that there are people to turn/talk to if i need them. I learnt that the depth of feeling is still within me (believe me I had wondered whether I still had it).

I don't need to get it back, I am just glad I know I can feel it again in the future. Energy is better spent on acceptance and learning.

Nick
xxxxx

 I don't know how many conversations I've had with different people discussing these same issues. Is the feeling gone forever? Will all this last,this Forum,my new friends?..all of it? Sounds like a broken record,but some days you can't help but to talk about it again..some days your mind plays these little games and you wonder if all this was some form of make believe,something that wasn't really there..were we just all psyched up ?....after 2 years of thinking about all this madness..it was real.

I always used to say that nothing is forever..what a cruel way to torture myself..but in truth , it's really not true in some aspects of it. That's how I cope now,that's how I HAVE to cope or you can run into a depression... it's not that it doesn't last forever,but takes on a new life,a new beginning and when things are so new and different,that rawness and that fresh "I'm alive" feeling....or " I want to be alive"....all that gets swept under the rug. We all went thru that devastating punch feeling and even though it hurt so badly, we got used to all the people rushing forward with their experiences...all that reading we did,all the crying and support we gave is not what it used to be.....yeah,many days I miss that..in fact,many days I miss it A LOT!! Some days it hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. I come in here and read all the new stuff that goes on. It doesn't satisfy me anymore,and I log off with a lump in my throat. But my survival button kicks in. I tell myself what was is now locked in my heart forever. The friends I chose to hold closer to my heart is forever there. The new things that are going on in my life is what I concentrate on and I can cope with it all much better now because of our dear movie, because of this Forum,and because of my amigos I've made in here. My life is richer now and I can't look back in here and stress myself out because the newness is gone,the honeymoon is over. I can't look at the misunderstandings that went on in here either and cry for those that are gone from this Forum..what matters is that I have their phone numbers and e-mail addresses....we decided to stay in touch that way....all is good.

I don't need to get it back neither,I 'm just glad that I do feel..I do have hopes and dreams and look forward to the future that I thought I didn't have. My crazy thoughts are no longer festering my inner self. My past is just that,hidden in a old trunk in my head/attic. What hurt me then will no longer hurt me now because of all this.You all have helped me realize that I do matter,I do belong,and it's okay to feel sad,to feel guilty...all those things...

It's okay to miss what we once had...don't think of it as being silly,foolish.....don't think it's because you're weak. I miss it too,I will always miss it and I will always shed a tear or two thinking about our past get togethers,looking at old pictures ...oh God,to have that back just one day.....but..

Our energy must be used up for our present...our future.. just like Nick said.

Some how all this will work out...it's going to be okay

Nellie XO
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 04, 2008, 09:54:15 AM
Nicky...
I'm beyond "believing" in a "connected whole". It's something I know down deep.

I've found belief is often filled with doubt.

Tracie...

The pain I felt when I first encountered Ennis and Jack is a pain I still miss, as well. I REALLY miss it at times. I watch the movie at least a couple times a month. I am still moved to tears, though they're not as hot as they once were. Seems I have a need to remember what was going on then, to truly appreciate what I have now.

Nellie...

Long time!

I miss many of those same folks. I, too, have made a number of friends through this forum, people I know I never would have met otherwise. The movie, this forum, the people I met here, (most importantly Nick, of course!), has placed my whole existence on another plane, in a completely different place.

We all have many things to be thankful for. On top of my list is the Short Story, the movie and all those involved in it, and this forum, specifically each and every person I've interacted with here, no matter how little or infrequently.

Where would ANY of us be now if none of this happened?

Hugs,
Rob
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 04, 2008, 01:36:20 PM
this gets around a lot. it made it to brokeback mountain as well.

i don't know if this speaks as well for rob, but i believe as he does... i KNOW as he does, that we come together and flow apart to answer to the will of the universal.  no one is in your life who isn't there to instruct you on your journey, and the teacher ALWAYS appears when the pupil is ready. 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTJTWkbWSSE
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 04, 2008, 08:16:14 PM
A very beautiful video, Jack. Brought me a tear or two.

Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

Hugs
Rob
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on January 04, 2008, 08:31:40 PM
Thanks Jack, that nearly brought me to tears as well. I'm in a difficult period right now; but I have been lucky to have a few people in my life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. This forum has affected me, and in a good way, i believe it's here for a reason in my life right now.......... :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 04, 2008, 11:30:09 PM
when i first read that, in one of those viral postiongs, a light bulb went on for me.  i think i had gotten most of the way there, but it has been my nature to try to hold on to those miraculous enlightening enriching and loving friendships/loves that i have been blessed with, wanting to preserve them in amber as they were, and in so doing, devaluing what they were becoming and had been.  i have been trying for some years now, without the words to express it, really, to hold on loosely, with an open hand, so to speak.  that is not only applicable to people, but to the transitory nature of institutions and systems.

this forum is what it is, and the relationships occurring within it are what they are.  machines WILL break down, and people WILL fail us.  this is not a bad thing, it is just the nature of things.  one thing about getting old (and paying attention) is that you learn that oftentimes that which leaves you, returns, and in a healthier incarnation, if it is meant so to be, or is replaced by the next stage of that needs evolution.  i know more of what i need and demand in a relationship as a result of relationships that withered and died... if i listened and learned.

as many of you know, i work very hard at maintaining lines of communication with those i hold dear, but, i do so without any expectation of reciprocation.  i do this, becuase this is what i do, and it is a part of my value system.  some relationships will just fade away, some never to return, and amazingly, with just the occasional whisper of openness a new variation will spring forth from the old.  que sera, sera, insh allah, and all the variations on that theme those with wisdom have comforted both themselves and others.

it took me 60 years to understand the parable of the prodigal son...

jack   
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on January 05, 2008, 12:21:00 AM
this gets around a lot. it made it to brokeback mountain as well.

i don't know if this speaks as well for rob, but i believe as he does... i KNOW as he does, that we come together and flow apart to answer to the will of the universal.  no one is in your life who isn't there to instruct you on your journey, and the teacher ALWAYS appears when the pupil is ready. 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTJTWkbWSSE

Great video Jack

Thanks

Sal      :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on January 05, 2008, 01:14:08 AM
In the beginning, for me, it was all about the movie.  I was so touched by the movie that I sought out everything I could find about it online, not even imagining that a place like the DC Forum existed, where a large group of people could talk to each other.  When I discovered the Dave Cullen Forum, it was my first experience with any kind of online forum.  But I didn't really see the people behind the screen names.
At first I was mostly interested in figuring out the movie -- what had I really seen, what did it mean.  For that, I went to the Scene-by-Scene Analysis thread, and tried to understand what everyone else there was saying.  I wanted to hear different interpretations of various scenes.  I only posted a little bit, because it seemed that the discussion was farther along than my thinking was at that point, and that I could learn best just by reading (what I came to learn was called "lurking").

However, what I have taken away from this membership is that I feel I know gay people better and more intimately than I did before joining the Forum.  I am now interested in reading about how homophobia affected some members; how their families reacted to their coming out; how AIDS affected those who lost friends; how some suffered from youth and still do, and most of all, how so many have lived a happy and fulfilled life in spite of events that would have crippled many people. 
I can count on one hand how many gay people I know in RL, so being a member of the Forum has introduced me to so many who, even though they are virtual as opposed to real, have affected me in new ways -- I'm interested in their lives and how they live; what they do with their free time; their relationships; their happiness and, most of all, their humanity which is reflected in the kindness and understanding that they exhibit in the various commentaries I read here.

The film blew of as a bomb or something in my life
You all made this a welcoming and friendly place. It already affects me a lot.
The forum was an utter sanctuary of people who knew exactly where I was in my life as they were in the same place.
Sometimes I get so incensed by the attitudes and opinions of some posters that it makes it necessary to disappear for a while, but not to the point of deleting my account. I want to be able to look back at what I wrote, and even if it’s not how I feel now, it’s a reminder of how I felt then, at that point in time. Like looking at old photos…Feeling that nostalgia.

.....this is my 1000th post. You said most of it so well before me so I just quoted some of you.

I never thought I'd get here.....and I love when life brings me unexpected gifts!

I hug you all (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((mybelovedfriendsbrotherssistersdarlingbrokies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: desertrat on January 05, 2008, 03:15:52 AM
having just come back last night from a vacation with a wonderful group of friends i have made here, i have to say that while it is true that this place has changed, i'm not really sad about it. the first days of this forum were dedicated to sharing pain. then the healing started. and now ? well, either we venture back out into our very own story, the adventure called life, or we do so while having found a couple of like-minded people that got close to us.

BBM hasn't changed my life. my life was good as it was. yet, it has made me understand some things about me better, helped me to deal with pain that was in my past. but above all, through this forum, it has helped me to find a group of people who share a little piece of my soul, and who understand me and are close to me in ways that other people will never be able to.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: desertrat on January 05, 2008, 03:17:56 AM
MARTINA LOOKS LIKE SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!

LOL

and right back at ya, E....

yeah....like DRUNK maybe...bwahahah

i WAS happy ! it was new year's eve after all and we had just come from a great visit to the british museum and got our first beer in the pub! and i was not drunk.....yet.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on January 05, 2008, 10:14:10 AM
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUR FRIENDS ACROSS THE WORLD FROM THE LONDON UNITED NATIONS GET TOGETHER CREW :-* :-* :-* :-*

(http://render-2.snapfish.com/render2/is=Yup6aQQ%7C%3Dup6RKKt%3Axxr%3D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%3DzrRfDUX%3AeQaQxg%3Dr%3F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQGooQnJoaaJqpfVtB%3F*KUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0P%7CRup6lQQ%7C/of=50,590,442)

Lots of Love

Marc, Florian, Wayne, Marleen, Jari and Martina
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

ahhhhhh. pictures like this are so nice to see.

first, i just like looking at the happy people. and it's cool to think about how you never would have encountered each other without this place.

Thanks Dave... We had a great time...!!!!!

And you are more than welcome to visit at any time...

Of course as long as you accept my friend request on facebook....hehehe :-* 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on January 05, 2008, 10:14:46 AM
Nellie do not think that you are getting rid of me... Thats just not possible...
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on January 05, 2008, 10:15:33 AM
having just come back last night from a vacation with a wonderful group of friends i have made here

And it was so wonderful that you and Flo could come over, and it was possible because of this place... :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 05, 2008, 10:32:53 AM
Nellie do not think that you are getting rid of me... Thats just not possible...


Hell naw.......... ;D....you are one of my friends I hold closest to my heart...are you loco?.....lol :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on January 05, 2008, 10:56:34 AM
Nellie do not think that you are getting rid of me... Thats just not possible...


Hell naw.......... ;D....you are one of my friends I hold closest to my heart...are you loco?.....lol :-*
Ahhhh :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* And you to me sweetheart.... :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: HazelEyedRaven on January 08, 2008, 11:41:09 PM
Tracie...

When you find yourself ready for one of those friendships, remember little old me just down the road.

Recalling our connection at the Castro Theater... with goosebumps.

Hugs,
Rob

I do remember and think of you often.  I'm kind of like a stray cat.  I don't really connect to anyone right away but do eventually come around.  (Sound like anyone you know?  ENNIS!!!)

I've been perusing the old posts from 2 years ago, my own and others.  I've checked to see how long some of the members who were really active back then have been gone or idle.  Some stopped shortly after the movie left the theaters, many after the summer of '06.  I remember HEAVY traffic back in the early days.  And I wonder to myself, "Where did everybody go?  How did they move on?  Was this just a blip on their radar, a turning point or brief trend that has passed?"  Not to diminish those who have stayed and are certainly more active than me, but I can't help but look back with sorrow, reminiscing, longing for those days, wishing they'd return. 

I wish I could contact all these people and ask them all those questions.  What did it mean?  How did it affect them?  How come they don't come back?  Does it still affect them?  Or has it passed?

I wonder these things because my own BBM experience, while enlightening, has been like a terrible heartbreak for me.  Anyone know what I mean?  I've had my heart broken before and it hurts terribly.  I have that same feeling with BBM and the whole period of time around the movie's original theater time.  I long for that time the way I long for an old lover that has gone away.

I wish I could bring it back.  I wish I could turn back the clock.  Go back to that time and place, immerse myself in it and stay forever. 

But I can't.  I can't make it come back.  And I miss it so terribly.

Sound familiar?  Those words could be words Ennis thought after he lost Jack. 

Interesting.

Tracie, I am biased, but Rob is a real sweetheart and he believes in this "connected greater whole" and speaks of you and your "strange" encounter in mystical terms. As a consequence he and I too believe it is a connection of significance.

I was fortunate, I think, that so soon after BBM trashed all that I knew, I met Rob and between us we must have spent hundreds of hours talking out that BBM devastation and we were able to make that "hurt" something positive for us.

I used to be one of the forum's high posters, in and out of many threads both serious and trivial. Spending hours & hours here, talking communicating with all and sundry, new and old. There was a vibrancy and a sense of longing here in the early months of the forum, that I agree certainly is not here now.

But having said that many people eventually understood what the film did for them and meant for them. This meaning was absorbed into who they are and many, many of us have changed our lives, added to our circle of friends and look at life anew. But it is clear from comments made recently, that people miss those days, miss those feelings. For many it was the first time they had allowed themselves to truly feel anything in years and that can be a very energising experience. Like yourself and Bethie, people miss the hurt, the bittersweet pit that they found in themselves.

We all react differingly, we all cope in differing ways, we all heal at different speeds, we all get nourished by different things.

I thought that BBM moving me was a thing of the past, but just recently in the midst of illness and Christmas loneliness, I decided to listen to the BBM orchestral score. And very much to my own surprise, I found it devastating - it took me back to how I felt in the first few weeks after seeing the movie the first time. Perversely I was comforted by how I felt.

There was however, a realisation that because my world has gone through a total change since those early days, the sadness & rawness I felt was for new things. No longer was I crying over my own bitterness, emptiness and hopelessness like I was in 2006, but crying for a happiness that is, for the time being, just beyond my reach, crying for the suffering of a parent that will only get worse in 2008, crying for new things in me.

So yes it does move on, but it isn't the film/forum that is different, it is me. I learnt to change and cope after the film and the early days of the forum. I also learnt that there are people to turn/talk to if i need them. I learnt that the depth of feeling is still within me (believe me I had wondered whether I still had it).

I don't need to get it back, I am just glad I know I can feel it again in the future. Energy is better spent on acceptance and learning.

I choose to find happiness (despite how difficult that is to remember at times)

Nick
xxxxx

Nick-
Thank you so very much for all your kind words.  And it is nice to know that others feel the way I do, while unexplainable, we miss the depth of our own sorrow.  But the good news, as you have so eloquently put it, is that we experience it differently today than we did then.

I know now why Rob speaks so highly and lovingly of you.  You seem like a dear, dear person.  I wish for all the best for you both.  And hopefully we'll get around to meeting sometime.

Thank you again for your kind and inspiring words.

Hazel
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: huntinbuddy on January 14, 2008, 06:18:38 PM
Two years ago tonight, this very hour, I drove just a couple miles to a local theatre where a film called Brokeback Mountain had been showing for a couple weeks.  I had not read the short story, and only knew from what I had heard that it was "the gay cowboy movie."  Much like many others, I left the theatre just devastated; disoriented really as I actually drove right through a red light on the way home.  Thank God, no one was coming from the other direction.  What I had just seen so overwhelmed me and took me back to the late summer of 1980 when I learned about love and loss at the age of 22.

I couldn't really believe so many of the similarities between myself (an Ennis) and my Jack who died that summer (at age 22 also) from an automobile accident.  Much like a train wreck, I had to go back and have another look, so I went back for the late show that same night, and bawled my eyes out.  The next day, at work I was not there at all.  My mind was simply reeling with what I had seen.  I had seen some haunting movies in the past, but this one just wouldn't go away.  So I got on the internet, and as Ennis would say "that's how I ended up here."  I joined four days later on the 18th of January, and found I was not alone in how I felt.  Brokeback Mountain tells a mournful story of love and longing in such a way that I and obviously many others just can't forget it.

It's an uncommon love story, yet is as hauntingly beautiful as the majestic Wyoming scenery it embraces.  Nearly everyone I worked with two years ago, was snickering about it being the "gay cowboy" movie, and were shocked that I would go see it.  Several days later in the break room, the topic came up and I mentioned I had went to see the film.  The reaction was mostly disgust and shock, but I didn't mince any words; simply told all who were there if they didn't have the capacity to accept people for who they are, then don't bother to see it; if they were judgmental or immature, it's not for them.  And surprisingly, most went to see it before it left town.

Like many others I seen Brokeback Mountain more than a few times during its theatrical release.  Couldn't wait to get the DVD, and did so the day it came out, but surprisingly have watched it probably only a half dozen times in the past two years.  It is just too painful.  Would love to make it to one of the gatherings, but have yet to take that step and just go.  This forum has been a godsend, and I have met and made many new friends here.  Thank you Dave Cullen for keeping this site active.
 
 
 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on January 14, 2008, 09:27:58 PM
Great post Charlie, and please accept my belated condolences on the loss of your 'Jack' at such a young age. This Forum has meant so much to so many folks it's just amazing, we seem to draw strength from it and each other...........Jonn
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on January 15, 2008, 01:12:28 AM

It's an uncommon love story, yet is as hauntingly beautiful as the majestic Wyoming scenery it embraces.  Nearly everyone I worked with two years ago, was snickering about it being the "gay cowboy" movie, and were shocked that I would go see it.  Several days later in the break room, the topic came up and I mentioned I had went to see the film.  The reaction was mostly disgust and shock, but I didn't mince any words; simply told all who were there if they didn't have the capacity to accept people for who they are, then don't bother to see it; if they were judgmental or immature, it's not for them.  And surprisingly, most went to see it before it left town.

Like many others I seen Brokeback Mountain more than a few times during its theatrical release.  Couldn't wait to get the DVD, and did so the day it came out, but surprisingly have watched it probably only a half dozen times in the past two years.  It is just too painful.  Would love to make it to one of the gatherings, but have yet to take that step and just go.  This forum has been a godsend, and I have met and made many new friends here.  Thank you Dave Cullen for keeping this site active.
 

what I quoted is literally true for me as well: the coworkers'reactions......I've seen it many times in theatres......I've watched it very little on DVD, it's too painful.......I'd like to go to a gathering.......I have yet to take the step.....

one of the great things here is when you hear people, so different and far from you for a thousand reasons, that speak those same words that are deeply yours

thank you Charlie  :-*

D

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 15, 2008, 02:13:38 AM

Great post, Charlie - and very, very moving.
Made me tear up.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 15, 2008, 02:16:57 AM
Like many others I seen Brokeback Mountain more than a few times during its theatrical release.  Couldn't wait to get the DVD, and did so the day it came out, but surprisingly have watched it probably only a half dozen times in the past two years.  It is just too painful. 

Exactly the same experience for me. Own the DVD, but hardly ever watched it. And each new viewing, even the wonderful Castro screening with all our friends, is just so painful. Not s th I could easily repeat over and over. Too much to bear.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Janie-G on January 20, 2008, 08:21:18 AM
Two years, damn!  
      Exactly two years and a lifetime ago I went to see a film because someone mentioned it was good. I'd read no reviews, seen no trailers or interviews, simply heard it was worth seeing. So I'd escaped from the home decorating and gone to the cinema for a couple of hours entertainment and some popcorn. I remember sitting down and thinking I'd take my coat off later. Two and a half hours later I realised I'd not moved a muscle and somehow I'd been taken on a journey the likes of which I'd never experienced before. I knew something momentous had happened but I didn't know what or why or how. Driving home I could hardly see the road. When my hubby asked me if it was good I remember answering,"I don't know. I think it was superb". So next day I made him leave his painting and come with me to see it. At the end we sat in total silence until all the credits had rolled. Sneaking a look I saw that he'd been crying. So had I.
     I wasn't sure what was happening but for the first time ever that night I wrote down how I felt about what I'd seen and experienced and I've been doing it ever since. So here's what Brokeback Mountain means to me after two years.
     Looking back, I see it's been a kind of love affair. At first you can't stop talking about it, you need to spend every waking moment thinking about it or seeing it again, despite the terrible pain. And, oh boy, you can still see the ruts I made leading to the cinema! For three months I spent my life in there and I wasn't alone. On the last showing, late at night, the place was packed, mainly with women in groups or alone. One woman sitting near the entrance was familiar to me and I stopped to say "Hi" and to ask her how many times she'd seen it. We were both up to ten. I wish I knew how she feels now.
     I realised that for sanity's sake I needed to find a place to talk  this thing through so "that's how me come to end up here". This place was a lifeline to me. I realised I wasn't alone and set about trying to find out why I was so deeply affected. With the help of some wonderful people I've done just that and more. The wisdom here taught me never to let an opportunity go by, never to leave things until later because sometimes November doesn't come and not to stand things when I can fix them.
     Some things have been painful. I've cried a lot. Sometimes I've felt very isolated. I've come home in tears a few times when my efforts to explain about the beauty and tragedy of this love story met with derision, bigotry and suspicion. But that's helped me to understand the nature of the beast and so far I've kept a private promise to Ennis and Jack never to allow a derogatory remark go unchallenged. I wear my Brokeback T shirts with pride and my bumper sticker reads "Brokeback Mountain; Love Is The Only Thing That Counts".
      It's been a good two years. Thank you all for sharing this amazing journey with me. It's been a privilege.

Janie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Uli on January 20, 2008, 08:28:49 AM
The wisdom here taught me never to let an opportunity go by, never to leave things until later because sometimes November doesn't come and not to stand things when I can fix them.

So much said with just a few words! Brought tears to my eyes - especially the bolded part!  :'( :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 20, 2008, 12:00:40 PM
     Some things have been painful. I've cried a lot. Sometimes I've felt very isolated. I've come home in tears a few times when my efforts to explain about the beauty and tragedy of this love story met with derision, bigotry and suspicion. But that's helped me to understand the nature of the beast and so far I've kept a private promise to Ennis and Jack never to allow a derogatory remark go unchallenged. I wear my Brokeback T shirts with pride and my bumper sticker reads "Brokeback Mountain; Love Is The Only Thing That Counts".
      It's been a good two years. Thank you all for sharing this amazing journey with me. It's been a privilege.
Janie
so glad to have company on a road i have been walking for nearly 50 years.  sometimes it feels like one of those cliched feelgood movies where a town or neighborhood or school finally mobilizes in a show of support for the long suffering hero (well, aren't we each the heroes in our own drama... and if not; why not ? ) 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Janie-G on January 21, 2008, 07:10:47 AM
Uli and Jack; Thank you both. It's a wonderful thing to be understood so perfectly. Jack, I'm only sorry it took me this long to be made aware of what I should have realised a long time ago. Ah, well, better late than never.
Janie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 21, 2008, 03:03:06 PM
when the pupil is ready, the teacher (or teaching tool) apears.  had this been experienced long ago, it likely would have fallen on deaf, or hardly hearing , spiritual ears.  all things happen, i believe, in their own right time.  to every season a purpose.

jack 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: freetraveller on January 22, 2008, 12:49:57 AM
(((Janie)))
What a beautiful post.
You have expressed perfectly what the movie did to me as well, and like you I had gone seeing the first time it with hardly any preconceptions or prior knowledge.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Janie-G on January 22, 2008, 06:15:19 AM
(((Janie)))
What a beautiful post.
You have expressed perfectly what the movie did to me as well, and like you I had gone seeing the first time it with hardly any preconceptions or prior knowledge.

Hi, how good to know you're still around, and thank you so much for the comment. Maybe it was better to go in unsuspecting and unprepared.  ;)

Jack, it's just this sort of wisdom I was talking about in the post. Such a true thought, thank you. Strangely, I came on this beautiful YouTube video, recommended by Jeff Hanna, expressing almost the same idea about " all things happen, i believe, in their own right time.  to every season a purpose." Take a look, see if you agree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTJTWkbWSSE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTJTWkbWSSE)

Janie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 22, 2008, 08:43:20 AM


TWO YEARS TODAY


(http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w99/Shaka_ava/EnnisJack-2.jpg)


Thank you Annie Proulx
Thank you Ang Lee
Thank you JG & HL
Thank you all my friends on the DCF
Thank you Jackie


Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 01:00:50 PM
I hope you know how very much I love you, Wayne...not because of those lovely words you said about me, but because of the great heart you have and the great love YOU give to all around you.

This Forum allowed, encouraged, maybe even FORCED a lot of us to look at ourselves through the mirror of a film, and the friendships we made here are what keep this place ALIVE....with feeling, with laughter, with not a few tears and no little anger, but ALIVE.


This means even more now than when I first read it...

Love you more Jackie...  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 22, 2008, 01:34:29 PM

Jack, it's just this sort of wisdom I was talking about in the post. Such a true thought, thank you. Strangely, I came on this beautiful YouTube video, recommended by Jeff Hanna, expressing almost the same idea about " all things happen, i believe, in their own right time.  to every season a purpose." Take a look, see if you agree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTJTWkbWSSE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTJTWkbWSSE)

Janie
thank you... it was exactly this manifesto i had in mind.  i don't believe in many things, but what i believe in, i believe in utterly.  this is one such belief.

and what finer tribute to any relationship..

jack
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 27, 2008, 09:17:02 PM
I've tried for weeks to mentally compose a proper post for this thread and it's still hasn't happened.

But this week, this horrendously difficult week, the impact of the forum (the members, the staff and administration - the PEOPLE) has been overwhelming in so many ways.

Two years ago this evening I first met Ennis and Jack.  Some 730 days have flown by fast, but have provided many cherished memories and given me friends I wouldn't have otherwise ever known.

Despite the grief and pain; the sense of loss, I feel joy and thankfulness.  I'm glad to be one of the lucky ones. 
   
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on January 27, 2008, 10:10:05 PM
I've tried for weeks to mentally compose a proper post for this thread and it's still hasn't happened.

But this week, this horrendously difficult week, the impact of the forum (the members, the staff and administration - the PEOPLE) has been overwhelming in so many ways.

Two years ago this evening I first met Ennis and Jack.  Some 730 days have flown by fast, but have provided many cherished memories and given me friends I wouldn't have otherwise ever known.

Despite the grief and pain; the sense of loss, I feel joy and thankfulness.  I'm glad to be one of the lucky ones. 
   

{{{{{Glenn}}}}}

Sal     :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: bass51 on January 27, 2008, 10:53:10 PM
I've tried for weeks to mentally compose a proper post for this thread and it's still hasn't happened.

But this week, this horrendously difficult week, the impact of the forum (the members, the staff and administration - the PEOPLE) has been overwhelming in so many ways.

Two years ago this evening I first met Ennis and Jack.  Some 730 days have flown by fast, but have provided many cherished memories and given me friends I wouldn't have otherwise ever known.

Despite the grief and pain; the sense of loss, I feel joy and thankfulness.  I'm glad to be one of the lucky ones. 
   

...and the honor has truly been mine, friend....all this time.....I consider myself to be one of the 'lucky ones'.....for yours and all the friendships cultivated here.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 11:34:29 PM
I posted this in the diner but I think it should go here.

I was born in 1956, a year after James Dean died, and I don't remember when Marilyn Monroe died.

Of course I do remember JFK, RFK, MLK, and all the rest.

What is different now is the way our society is formed.

Our generation was the first to grow up with television, but that was a one-way communication device. Long distance telephone calls were expensive and not too common, at least in my house.

For most of my life my social interaction was almost entirely limited to the people in my own city and a few other far away places that were difficult to get to.

Then this internet thingy came along, but even then it was just a way to find information for many years. Now, it's an amazing interactive communications device, and not just two-way.

I'm meeting people from all over the world in real time, and on this forum I'm meeting them in person and we're forming real relationships. We're ending up with a lot of people coming together for a common purpose, and not just on this forum.

When celebrity tragedies happened in the past I had to rely on the small social groups I was involved with for any kind of understanding and support. This past week I've been glad to have all of the support from everyone here, and I've received a lot of thanks for my support. I've also read and listened to more pain and grieving than would have been possible in them earlier days.

It seems in some way that the natural shock, grief and pain become magnified and it all feeds on itself. I've never experienced anything like this.

I'm not thinking of leaving the forum, and I don't think my interest here will be slacking off in the near future, but it's a dangerous new world and I need to be more careful in the future.

And one thing I can honestly say it that I will never join another forum in the future.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 28, 2008, 11:38:17 AM
Know John, that because of this forum you've got many here hugging you in support.

Thank you for being with us... we mourn as a group. We comfort as a group. We hug each other as a group.

United we stand, with love.

 :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 28, 2008, 05:34:36 PM
thank you Rob. I really appreciate the support.

When I post those kind of thoughts, it's not because I'm looking for feedback or support.

It's just my crazy way of thinking.  Once I write it down, or post it, then I can start dealing with it objectively. That's something I've learned here on the forum in the past 2 years.

Now if you hear the same stuff in a PM, that's a little different.

I love everyone on this forum, even the people I argue with who are very few and far between.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 28, 2008, 08:35:06 PM
not THAT far !  ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 30, 2008, 08:16:17 AM

Today is my second Forum anniversary.
Don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't found this fabulous place. A place called home.
Where I have made dozens of incredible friendships.

It makes me grateful and happy to be here.


Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 30, 2008, 09:00:13 AM
{{{{{{{INGBURGERSIR}}}}}}}
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 30, 2008, 01:33:31 PM
Today is my 2nd year anniversary.....Ingy...we're a pair.... :-*

Emotions that have overtaken me this past week has prevented me from finding the right words to say...but I just wanted to say THANK YOU...to Dave and all of you here....for listening to my crap and sending out hugs. ALL of it!!

I see things differently now, saw things differently then, but this week....it's found new meanings..new dreams I think. Things are forming clearer now...things my sweet Jackie used to say to me are now making some sense to me...I think she's just playing games with my head...but even so....I FEEL it...

I still feel very lucky and blessed to have found this Forum..the kind souls I've grown to love in here....

Thank you

Nellie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on January 30, 2008, 02:46:54 PM

Today is my second Forum anniversary.
Don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't found this fabulous place. A place called home.
Where I have made dozens of incredible friendships.

It makes me grateful and happy to be here.


Congratulations (((((Ing))))) !
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on January 30, 2008, 02:47:39 PM
(((((((((((((Nellie)))))))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 30, 2008, 05:25:24 PM

THANK YOU NELLIE SUE & ROB !!

Yes Nellita I know we share this anniversary. Isn't that wonderful?  :-*

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on January 30, 2008, 05:26:49 PM
Congratulations, Nellie and Ingleinchen!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 30, 2008, 05:35:39 PM

Danke, liebes Fritzchen!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zuraffo on February 04, 2008, 12:08:50 PM
Brokeback mountain seemed to bring out every beautiful emotions and thoughts for the people who can appreciate the movie. One of the common thing I noticed is that people started to want to express themselves after the encounter with Brokeback.

I can't explain. There is something so pure about the movie, so cleansing that it makes you want to be a better person. For people who understand it, in any case. The forum provided a gathering place for people like us, where kindred spirits cheered each other on.

It might have been a fleeting encounter, and many of us might not have met one another, but for Brokeback, we believe we have shared something good, and beautiful, and true.

I have moved on since the movie. Life hasn't been the same and the world is going through many changes. But brokeback is never far from my heart. It is a constant reminder, when times are difficult, and occasionally ugly, of the good-nature of human being, of the pureness of love, and above all, LOVE itself.

I think of this forum, from time to time, as a weary traveller would a warm campfire amidst encrouching darkness, where joy and laughter accompanied the inherent goodness of human souls, with brokeback mountain against the backdrop of a starry night.

I hope everyone will find solace here. When times are bad and trying, let's try to remember the message of Brokeback, which is about love itself. The love between Ennis and Jack, the love Annie and Ang gave to their creations, the love Heath and Jake gave to their characters, the love we gave to brokeback, and the love among the people on the forum. The very same love we should try to give to people around us in our life.

That, I think, is why Brokeback is such a special work of art.

Til next time,
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on February 04, 2008, 12:49:58 PM
Beautiful...Z...just beautiful...thank you

Nellie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on February 04, 2008, 05:28:58 PM
Such a beautiful post, Zuraffo......  thank you.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on February 05, 2008, 12:44:55 AM

I think of this forum, from time to time, as a weary traveller would a warm campfire amidst encrouching darkness, where joy and laughter accompanied the inherent goodness of human souls, with brokeback mountain against the backdrop of a starry night.


yes...very much so. Thank you Z
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on February 13, 2008, 08:26:39 AM
i love this forum its great to talk to people who love the film as much as i do its now in 'favourites' on my computer
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on February 13, 2008, 08:33:57 AM
Look out, you'll get addicted to this place, then start wondering where your 'old' real life stopped and this one started.........haha........just kidding.......but we've all had that question in our minds...........Jonn
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: cazzyj on February 13, 2008, 08:36:48 AM
Being a real newbie here, I must say this forum has definitely given me a MUCH better appreciation for this movie.  I honestly don't remember my reaction to BBM when I first watched it (DVD).    But, as I think back to the time in my life I watched it, it sort of makes sense.  My mother had just recently passed away from ALS and I don't really remember much of anything during that time.  Perhaps the message from the movie was just too powerful for me to digest.  I honestly don't know but the more I think about it, the more it does explain it.
Unfortunately (or fortunately I guess depending on perspective), Heath's death brought me here.  I hadn't even bought the movie up until 2 weeks ago!  This forum gave me something really special, gave me a greater understanding of the movie and of my own feelings towards alot of things.  And I will always be grateful for this :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on February 13, 2008, 08:41:20 AM
thanks  jon i'll keep that in mind
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on February 13, 2008, 09:28:58 AM
(((((((Cazzyj)))))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: cazzyj on February 13, 2008, 09:51:40 AM
(((((((Cazzyj)))))))



aww...thanks so much!  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on February 13, 2008, 09:53:54 AM
(((((((Cazzyj)))))))



aww...thanks so much!  :)
I have a somewhat similar story... told too many times here, sweets...
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: cazzyj on February 13, 2008, 09:57:13 AM
(((((((Cazzyj)))))))



aww...thanks so much!  :)
I have a somewhat similar story... told too many times here, sweets...

I am sorry to hear this  ((Rob)) right back atcha.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on February 13, 2008, 05:37:58 PM
Welcome ((((Cazzyj)))) !
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on February 15, 2008, 12:51:52 AM
Look out, you'll get addicted to this place, then start wondering where your 'old' real life stopped and this one started.........haha........just kidding.......but we've all had that question in our minds...........Jonn

oh no! You're not kidding at all...that's the simple truth.  :-\
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: cazzyj on February 15, 2008, 11:45:07 AM
Welcome ((((Cazzyj)))) !

sorry I missed this one!  Thanks for the warm welcome!!  (((MaineGirl)))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on February 15, 2008, 12:49:21 PM
Welcome ((((Cazzyj)))) !

sorry I missed this one!  Thanks for the warm welcome!!  (((MaineGirl)))

Want to add my welcome!

(((((((((( Cassyj ))))))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: cazzyj on February 15, 2008, 12:51:55 PM
Welcome ((((Cazzyj)))) !

sorry I missed this one!  Thanks for the warm welcome!!  (((MaineGirl)))

Want to add my welcome!

(((((((((( Cassyj ))))))))))))

ahh my partner in cold showers!  (((((((miaisland))))))  thanks hon
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on March 24, 2008, 03:02:42 AM
Hello everyone,

Well, today is my 2 year forum anniversary.  To add to the nostalgia, I've been busily working my way through thousands of pm's - I have often neglected deleting them, bad Tammy! - and have had the chance to go back to so many different times here on the forum.  It's amazing the love, support, humour and comraderie that are in those pm's.

I first saw Brokeback Mountain in late February of 2006.  I was floored, devastated, confused, overwhelmed, emotionally drained, full of love, full of despair.  I tried to talk to people around me about how I was feeling and definitely didn't find the kind of empathy I was looking for.  People said they understood, but they didn't quite get the impact that I was feeling - and from a film, which many found unbelievable and yes, silly.

In my desperation - and yes, I think it's an appropriate word, desperation - to find people who would really understand what I was going through, I googled.  And I found the Dave Cullen Forum.  I clicked and arrived here.  I started to read posts - I hadn't registered yet.  I was everywhere here, all the time.  I sat crying, reading the posts of people who felt like I did.  And in so many different ways - the way the film impacted them, from overall feelings to detailed descriptions and interpretations of different scenes.  Analysis of the book and the film.  Personal experiences - so many of them - people who had lives that reflected the story in this beautiful film.  The pain, the joy.  I also found people who shared my sudden, unexpected obsession with Jake Gyllenhaal - yes, I'll admit it!  I wanted to know everything about him.  I realize now that I was looking for Jack - but that was what finally drew me into the forum.  Fans of the actors.  I signed up for an account on March 24, 2006.  I didn't know what to call myself, so I chose the name of my best friend and cousin.  Then, on April 10 I made my first post.  It was scary!  My first forum, I didn't really understand the rules and was afraid I would mess up.  But I jumped in.  I will never regret it.

What the forum means to me and how it has affected me has evolved over the past 2 years.  It has been a place of learning, that's for sure.  I have learned about other people and the lives that they lead.  I have learned that I've had it pretty good in my life.  I experienced the fear of perhaps having regrets in my life, after seeing the film (I was the same age as Ennis at the end of the film when I saw it).  I have seen what pain there is out there and my heart has broken for so many people here.  I have also seen joy in many, many different forms.  The joys of new relationships, long-time relationships, friendship, family, passion, love of different hobbies and interests, intellect, amazing humour. 

This year, I have witnessed and felt the pain of death, and the joy of new life. 

The experiences of people here are all over the map.  And people here are honest and open.  They really tell it like it is, something you don't often get in real life.  People here have conquered many fears and it has inspired me more than anything ever has in my life.

At this stage, the forum is all about friendship.  I took the next step and actually spoke on the phone with people from the forum for the first time last fall.  That contact has grown and it is so enriching and wonderful.  I took an even bigger step in December and went to London and visited fellow Brokies for the first time.  I was so scared but so exhilarated at the same time.  It was incredible!  Since then, I have many many plans to meet my dear friends here on the forum.  It feels only natural to take these friendships to another level.

I have opened up as a person because of the forum.  I have shared in the joys and sorrows - even the everyday mundane stuff - with so many people here.  I've laughed, I've cried.  I've been angry, I've been sad.  But I've always moved forward in my personal development here - I have learned from others, from conversations, from my own postings.  I've learned so much about myself - the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly. 

I can be a mountain of emotions sometimes - one big, raw nerve - and I've made mistakes here.  But because of the feeling of family here at DCF - true family - I have felt comfortable so that I can just be me.  Just me.  Something I have not had a lot of success with in real life at times, and nothing but success here.  For that I am truly grateful.  You can't learn and grow as an individual until you are able to see yourself for just who you are, accept how you are and love yourself, and make changes for the better.  I have this place to thank for that.  My journey is certainly far from complete, but at least I'm on the journey.

Thank you Dave Cullen for creating this place.  It has had a huge, wonderful impact on my life.  Thank you to my friends here at the forum - you have enriched my life in so many ways.  I'm looking forward to where this journey takes me, but one thing I know for sure is that many of you will continue to be there, taking it with me.

Much love,
Marleen
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ChrisW on March 24, 2008, 04:02:03 AM
Great post Tammy!
(except that it was Heath who got uder my skin :-\)
- congrats.!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on March 24, 2008, 05:13:09 AM
Tammy, great post! 

Thanks so much for taking the time to put it here, and happy Anniversary!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on March 24, 2008, 06:38:54 AM
Happy Anniversary (((((((((((((((((((((( Marleen )))))))))))))))))))

And thank you so much for posting, for telling this.
I am so happy to have met you!!!

Much love
Your friend Mia
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on March 24, 2008, 06:53:29 AM
(((((((((((((((((((((((Marleen))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So much of what you have said here rings true for me too......... 

Congratulations on your 2 year forum anniversary, for finding this place, and for all it has meant/means to you.

Love,
Sue
 :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on March 24, 2008, 09:25:57 AM
A wonderful post, Marleen...

I was an Ennis when I found this place, I sympathized with him.

My gratitude goes to both Heath and Jake, though, of course, Heath was who I watched most closely. I see the moon, no matter it's phase, and I think of him.

Loving hugs,
Rob
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on March 24, 2008, 11:46:33 AM
Tammy, that was wonderful. I could have written that, it is so close to what happened to me. I sometimes wonder, WHY, as a straight middle aged grandmother that it happened to me but I am so glad that it did.

Thank you. :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: desertrat on March 25, 2008, 07:14:41 AM
congratulations, ((((((marleen)))))!

i guess you speak from our "collective soul" - how we all got drawn into it, and how much it means to us.  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ChrisW on March 25, 2008, 09:43:53 AM
Tammy, that was wonderful. I could have written that,
well, I couldn't, just wish I could  ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on March 25, 2008, 02:15:18 PM
but late but happy 2 year anniversy! mine is ages away but im sure i'll still be here to celebrate it
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on March 26, 2008, 02:20:25 AM
Thank you all so much for the lovely comments.  It's always scary to empty your soul a bit onto 'paper' - you never know how it's going to look!

HUGS!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: freetraveller on March 26, 2008, 09:11:27 AM
Hello everyone,

Well, today is my 2 year forum anniversary.

(...)


(((Marleen))) what a wonderful post!

Congratulations!

I can empathise with you so much, it's almost scary!...  :o

And... you helped me remember that on 19 March it was also my 2nd-anniversary of joining the forum!!!

How could it have passed me by??  :o :o :o

Perhaps because, like you, I didn't join the forum immediately after seeing the movie for the first time (16 Feb '06 in my case)... I preferred to spend many days lurking, trying to find answers to many questions that obsessed bothered  me, and it took me a while to find the courage to register and write my first post!...  ::)

I also feel this place has enriched me way beyond any expectations, gave me the opportunity to meet wonderful people, in person and online, and has helped me become more open, tolerant and respectful of those whose views or outlook in life I may not share completely but wish to discover all the same.

Sometimes I get scared by the sheer size of this forum and the so many threads I'd like to visit more often, but then I realise you can still find your way around and discover new things at your own pace.

All the best,

Paola





Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: atruant on March 26, 2008, 10:53:40 AM

.........

Thank you Dave Cullen for creating this place.  It has had a huge, wonderful impact on my life.  Thank you to my friends here at the forum - you have enriched my life in so many ways.  I'm looking forward to where this journey takes me, but one thing I know for sure is that many of you will continue to be there, taking it with me.

Much love,
Marleen

Wonderful post, Marleen! You say it so well, for so many of us.  I look forward to meeting you in Oxford.

John  ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on March 26, 2008, 12:04:29 PM
Hello everyone,

Well, today is my 2 year forum anniversary. 


Great post Marleen. I can relate to so many of the things you say....and my 2nd anniversary is coming too, next month  ::)

I can't wait to REALLY hug you in Oxford. Thanks for being here, for your warmth and wit and love.......((((((((Marleen))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on March 26, 2008, 01:58:59 PM

<snip>

I can be a mountain of emotions sometimes - one big, raw nerve - and I've made mistakes here.  But because of the feeling of family here at DCF - true family - I have felt comfortable so that I can just be me.  Just me.  Something I have not had a lot of success with in real life at times, and nothing but success here.  For that I am truly grateful.  You can't learn and grow as an individual until you are able to see yourself for just who you are, accept how you are and love yourself, and make changes for the better.  I have this place to thank for that.  My journey is certainly far from complete, but at least I'm on the journey.


Much love,
Marleen

Marleen,

What a wonderful post,girl...I loved it!! CONGRATULATIONS on your 2 years!!  So glad I met you,you ROCK!!

Nellie :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on March 26, 2008, 02:33:03 PM
thats what i love about this forum everyone is so nice! and ive met (well not met but you know what i mean) some great friends too!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on March 27, 2008, 01:47:05 AM
Nellie, Dahlia, Paola, Atruant (I should remember your name, but I don't I'm SO BAD with names),

Your comments brought tears to my eyes this morning - tears of happiness, just as everyone's comments here have.  I'm so glad I'm here, home, and I'm so glad I know all of you and have the honour of calling you friends.

Hugs to all, and especially to ((((((((((((((( Paola )))))))))))))))) and her 2 year anniversary.  There sure are a lot of them around this time.   ;D :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: freetraveller on March 27, 2008, 10:56:36 AM
Thank you so much ((((((((Tammy)))))))

or should I say...
Tack så jätte jätte mycket!  :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on April 18, 2008, 05:37:35 PM
My second anniversary here.
My love affair with the Forum.

It's almost 2 in the morning here and, on looking back, I realize how slow and hard for me this has been.
After seeing the movie I googled desperately for everything related to it, and came here through imdb. I lurched for 2-3 months, then, hesitantly, sent the first post. I was heartwarmingly welcomed. I found Jack waiting at the virtual door, and he showed me where the virtual coffee machine was... ;)

So it started. I knew other people. And some of them were really important for me.

It took me 3 months to make my first 100 posts. Those days here were electric. Jack and Ennis were in my thoughts when I woke up, when I looked out my window, when I had some quiet time for myself in the midst of other people. We were all, more or less, bewildered, amazed  and on a journey of discovery. Somedays I came home from office just to see new unread  replies, while eating a sandwich in front of the PC.

But each post was really hard for me. I agonized on each word. I expected replies with much heartbeat, and often on reading them I blushed. My mostly beloved threads (‘Jack and Ennis sex life’ ‘Ignorant Straight Girls Want Answers’) felt like untrodden territory for me; I didn’t belong there…yet. But I was drawn, magnetically. And, to make things more complex, there was the language thing. I hadn’t been speaking – or writing – English for years.

It took me a year and a half to make me really  feel a part of this community, to make feel a bit at ease here, to put my pic in the avatar, to use my real name, to set foot in the Diner, to start posting about ‘light’ subjects, to plan participating in a gathering.

The forum gives, and the forum takes. It costs. Energy, time, involvement. Changes.

Many books I’ve read, many movies I watched, many songs I listened to…..because they were suggested by someone here.
I lost weight (just that couple of kilos that were annoying me  :D...)
My sex life got a lot better  :-[
I started making videos and uploading them (and I’ve had more than 4000 views on my YouTube channel till now).
I completely upset my vacation plans for this year, to go to Oxford.
I started taking many more photographs.
I smile more often.

Just the mention the more apparent changes....

The DEEP changes are still to fully understand, and to describe.

But ...not bad for JUST an online forum, huh?

So many people I wish to thank.....you are special people.

I can't and don't want to write down a list of names....they are so many, and they are so dear....

Sending you all my love, and a tender kiss.

Daniela / Dahlia
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on April 18, 2008, 06:00:25 PM
Daniela, for me, you are one of the forum's bright lights.

It is lovely that you are here.

N
xx
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on April 18, 2008, 06:50:31 PM
daniela...

you leave me speechless.  what a journey we have undertaken, all of us.

it would have been diminished without you.

jack
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ChrisW on April 19, 2008, 01:16:45 AM
Daniela - thank you for expressing my own feelings for me 1001 times better than I could, hugs Chris x
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on April 19, 2008, 03:34:43 PM
Nick....Jack....Chris....thank you darlings
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on April 19, 2008, 10:46:55 PM
Thank you everyone for continuing to come here, and share your stories end emotions!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: freetraveller on April 20, 2008, 12:48:44 PM
Daniela - thank you for expressing my own feelings for me 1001 times better than I could, hugs Chris x

Ciao Daniela,
I echo Chris' sentiments here.
What a heartfelt, original homage to what the Forum has meant to you.
I also share some of your feelings, and you've expressed them beautifully  ;)
Take care,
Paola
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: freetraveller on April 20, 2008, 12:54:32 PM
My 600th post!!!

I'm officially Obsessed, then  ;)  ::)   8) (who would have thought?  ::))
and after two years visiting this place, being enlightened by so many wonderful people, sharing so many laughs, emotions, insights... I want to thank you all fellow members and moderators for making this place my virtual home away from home,

Paola/freetraveller   :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on April 20, 2008, 11:12:07 PM
Today is the first anniversary of my move to San Francisco. It has been a wonderful year for me, full of immense changes, hard choices, and wonderful friends. I have had the great joy of having many visitors over this year and visiting all the tourist places, some I had been to and enjoyed with each of them again and some new to me and visiting with them for the first time.  It has been a big adjustment, getting used to the different weather, high prices and learning how to ride public transportation.

When I left Texas, I was apprehensive, not knowing what lay in store for me. I knew that this was what I wanted and needed to do, for myself and for my personal growth.  That seedling started back in December of 2005, when I joined this forum. It has blossomed into this tree that has just begun to branch, and I expect more growth as more time passes.

This forum, the wonderful people I have come into contact with, both in reality and in virtuality, have had a profound impact on this growth. Each and every one, those I am no longer in contact with, those who have occasional contact with, and those I have interaction with most days, has had a hand in every step of this growth. I thank each and every one of you.

Many more things are in store for me, I am sure. I hope to continue growing with the great start I have had here, and with the continued love and assistance of all of you. Even after this forum, we all still have each other, the lives we have, whether profoundly changed or changed  in small ways. This is our legacy to one another. It will never be the same.

On this anniversary I want to thank Dave for the inception of this place, but especially to all of you, who have made my life so much richer than I ever could have imagined. I hope you all know. Thanks are not enough, but I will say it anyway.

Thanks to you all.

Linda/killersmom
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on April 20, 2008, 11:58:19 PM
Congratulations on your first anniversary in San Francisco Linda.

I have watched you blossom into a completely different (but the same) person over the last year, culminating with my visit a few weeks ago when I saw that you had completely bloomed. San Francisco definitely agrees with you!!

All my best wishes and love for your future growth!!

Love ya bunches

Sal     :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on April 21, 2008, 01:11:20 AM
yup, uh huh, all that stuff.

You mustn't forget just how much your growth has helped others grow.

Hugs, and here's to many more happy years of growth.

N
xxx
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on April 21, 2008, 01:31:47 AM
yup, uh huh, all that stuff.

You mustn't forget just how much your growth has helped others grow.

Hugs, and here's to many more happy years of growth.

N
xxx

Here, Here!!

Sal    ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: juliefi on April 21, 2008, 04:49:00 AM
as a new member i think it is wonderful to have somewhere to go to just talk about BBM.Most of my friends and family consider me one step away from the loony bin and have no idea how a movie could elicit such a compulsion in ANYONE. After I had seen the movie for the first time, and managed to stop crying, I searched the net for a BBM fanclub. Took me about 4 weeks to connect here and made me very happy to know there are so many other people out there with the same fixation. :)  I have never contributed to a forum before so am finding my way slowly. Thanks everyone for your replies, differing opions and talk topics.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on April 21, 2008, 05:15:38 AM
julie...

you have no idea how comforting it is to those of us who came here long ago to see that this film is STILL having that same knockout effect on people.  it proves that it was not just a seasonal mass hysteria we experienced, but a bona fide reaction to not one, but multiple acts of art.

we also have a private grin having navigated, by and large, the shoals of this obsession and the impact on our own lives,  and we can say to the newest, hunker down, things will become clearer in time.

welcome to our refuge and sanctuary,

jack   
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on April 21, 2008, 09:10:29 AM
Great big tight hugs, Lil Sis! Congrats on your anniversary!!!

Love ya gobs,
Your Big Bro,
Me

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on April 21, 2008, 09:10:49 AM
Welcome home, Julie!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on April 21, 2008, 11:00:22 AM
as a new member i think it is wonderful to have somewhere to go to just talk about BBM.Most of my friends and family consider me one step away from the loony bin and have no idea how a movie could elicit such a compulsion in ANYONE. After I had seen the movie for the first time, and managed to stop crying, I searched the net for a BBM fanclub. Took me about 4 weeks to connect here and made me very happy to know there are so many other people out there with the same fixation. :)  I have never contributed to a forum before so am finding my way slowly. Thanks everyone for your replies, differing opions and talk topics.
Welcome Julie! You will NOT be sorry you found this site and all the wonderful folks in here.............!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on April 21, 2008, 04:14:49 PM
Congratulations on your anniversary, Linda!  :-*  :-*  :-*  :-*  :-*

And welcome here, Julie!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on April 21, 2008, 04:30:47 PM
This forum, the wonderful people I have come into contact with, both in reality and in virtuality, have had a profound impact on this growth. Each and every one, those I am no longer in contact with, those who have occasional contact with, and those I have interaction with most days, has had a hand in every step of this growth. I thank each and every one of you.

Many more things are in store for me, I am sure. I hope to continue growing with the great start I have had here, and with the continued love and assistance of all of you. Even after this forum, we all still have each other, the lives we have, whether profoundly changed or changed  in small ways. This is our legacy to one another. It will never be the same.


Congratulations on your anniversary, Linda.

You say it very well -- being on this forum is about growth.  I am so glad to see it in you, and am so happy to have met you and been just a little part of your life.  Don't forget what Nick said:  don't forget how much your growth has helped others grow. 

I am so grateful to you, for being here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: gnash on April 21, 2008, 07:29:44 PM
linda, wow, time goes so fast! it seems like only one year ago that you moved out here, LOL. ;) :D

i'm glad you moved, you like it enough, and i can't wait till your kids come to visit you. that'll be fun, taking your family and grandson to the beach and all that, to the redwood groves and all the new places you've found special in your heart. a new home, a new start, a new life on the west coast after all those years in texas is a big step, and i hope they appreciate that. i sure do, and i think the people that visited you do too -- your hospitality and open heart has touched so many of us.

and no complaining about the high prices in california! it's cooler out here (temperature wise for sure!)  ;) :D

 :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on April 22, 2008, 01:20:50 AM
as a new member i think it is wonderful to have somewhere to go to just talk about BBM.Most of my friends and family consider me one step away from the loony bin and have no idea how a movie could elicit such a compulsion in ANYONE. After I had seen the movie for the first time, and managed to stop crying, I searched the net for a BBM fanclub. Took me about 4 weeks to connect here and made me very happy to know there are so many other people out there with the same fixation. :)  I have never contributed to a forum before so am finding my way slowly. Thanks everyone for your replies, differing opions and talk topics.

welcome juliefi!

and don't hesitate to ask...whatever it is that you want to ask  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on April 22, 2008, 01:23:13 AM
My 600th post!!!

I'm officially Obsessed, then  ;)  ::)   8) (who would have thought?  ::))
and after two years visiting this place, being enlightened by so many wonderful people, sharing so many laughs, emotions, insights... I want to thank you all fellow members and moderators for making this place my virtual home away from home,

Paola/freetraveller   :)

eh....Paola!

A virtual home, indeed. Congratulazioni per i tuoi 600 posts!!

and thank you  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: richchan on April 22, 2008, 09:50:06 AM
Linda/Killersmom

Congratulations on your decision and new life. I've always felt blessed to be living in the Bay Area, too. I've always thought of you as one of the Forum's three official "den mothers" : Jackie, Nellie, and you. Your generosity is phenomenal and appreciated by all!


Rick
Richchan
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on April 22, 2008, 01:14:22 PM
the forum means to me: i can talk about BBM,heath,jake and michelle all i want and people actually know what i am talking about
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Nax on April 23, 2008, 02:32:53 AM
the forum means to me: i can talk about BBM,heath,jake and michelle all i want and people actually know what i am talking about

Yup and not think you're crazy ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on April 23, 2008, 02:48:29 PM
yep!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on April 23, 2008, 02:51:49 PM
the forum means to me: i can talk about BBM,heath,jake and michelle all i want and people actually know what i am talking about

Yup and not think you're crazy ;)

That is what is especially nice about being here!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on April 23, 2008, 02:56:57 PM
yeah maybe we are all crazy but we don't care!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: huntinbuddy on April 26, 2008, 07:33:59 PM
For my 1,000th post, I will come here to say a few words.  On January 18, 2006, three days after seeing BBM for the first time, and unable to eat, sleep; just generally function.  I did a search on the movie title, and ended up here.   Much like as many have posted, I just wanted to get some answers as to why I was feeling so devastated over what was after all just a movie….right? 

Well not when a movie mirrors your own life in such a way it haunts you.  I don’t say a lot here.  Most of my early months here were just to read and to take it all in.  This forum has provided healing to wounds I had going back nearly 30 years ago.  I think the wounds were always there; this movie worked to open up the sores, and pour salt on them.

Painful as it was, I continued to pour on more salt with each viewing….and there were more than a few back in early 2006.  But what I have found now is a genuine group of caring people, who I have yet to meet any face-to-face, who share in each others joys and losses alike.  And thanks to all who come here on a regular basis, you who have emptied out your hearts and souls; has provided the healing for my wounds.

Call it the electronic age, or just the way things are now, but everyone here is a friend I never had before.  Thank you all for the caring, the comfort, the new friendships which will stay with me for life
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Bubo on April 26, 2008, 07:37:05 PM
Huntinbuddy, that is a beautiful post. :-* :-*

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on April 26, 2008, 07:38:53 PM
(((((((((((((CHARLIE)))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really looking forward to meeting you in real life sometime!!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: huntinbuddy on April 26, 2008, 07:41:49 PM
Not if, but when I make that trip to DC to see the Smithsonian and other things, I will definitely look you up Fritz!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on April 26, 2008, 07:45:45 PM
And thanks to all who come here on a regular basis, you who have emptied out your hearts and souls; has provided the healing for my wounds.

Call it the electronic age, or just the way things are now, but everyone here is a friend I never had before.  Thank you all for the caring, the comfort, the new friendships which will stay with me for life


((((((huntinbuddy))))) your words are healing to many others who read them.  Thank you :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on April 26, 2008, 07:48:37 PM
Charlie, you say it so well, and congratulations on saying it with your 1,000th post.  How wonderful it is that you have chosen this moment to honor the friendships you have made here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on April 26, 2008, 09:57:07 PM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((Charlie)))))))))))))))))))))))))

a beautiful post.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on April 26, 2008, 11:58:41 PM
{{{{{Charlie}}}}}

Thank you for posting that and congrats on 1000 posts!!!

Sal   ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on April 27, 2008, 12:44:36 AM
Daniela, what a wonderful post!  It brightens my day and warms my heart to see what you've written and to hear how wonderful an impact this film and forum have had on your live.

I'm so glad I've met you and can call you a friend.

Lots of love,
Marleen
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on April 27, 2008, 12:46:09 AM
Paolo - I thought you were obsessed all along - how wonderful it's official!!!!  :D

I'm so glad you're here - you're a wonderful person.

Love from,
Marleen
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on April 27, 2008, 12:47:53 AM
Linda, congratulations on one year in San Francisco.  When I think of this forum and the people who are always there to support others - in cyberland AND in real life - I think of you.

I can't wait to meet you in person!

Love, Marleen
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on April 27, 2008, 12:50:43 AM
as a new member i think it is wonderful to have somewhere to go to just talk about BBM.Most of my friends and family consider me one step away from the loony bin and have no idea how a movie could elicit such a compulsion in ANYONE. After I had seen the movie for the first time, and managed to stop crying, I searched the net for a BBM fanclub. Took me about 4 weeks to connect here and made me very happy to know there are so many other people out there with the same fixation. :)  I have never contributed to a forum before so am finding my way slowly. Thanks everyone for your replies, differing opions and talk topics.

This was my first forum as well, Julie.  I can tell you that a lot of people at first thought I was crazy - with my feelings towards the film, and my hanging around a place on the internet - A LOT!  Now that time has gone by and my friends and family hear me talk about the people I've come to know here - and now have even met in real life - they have come to accept this place and see it as a community where I feel myself at home. 

It's wonderful to meet you!  I can't wait to read more of your posts!

Hugs,
Marleen
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on April 27, 2008, 12:51:33 AM
the forum means to me: i can talk about BBM,heath,jake and michelle all i want and people actually know what i am talking about

Yup and not think you're crazy ;)

Exactly!!!!  :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tammy on April 27, 2008, 12:52:53 AM
((((((((((( Charlie )))))))))))))

It's so nice to have met you.   :)


Sorry for all the posts in a row - I had some catching up to do!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on May 01, 2008, 12:55:43 AM
Call it the electronic age, or just the way things are now, but everyone here is a friend I never had before.  Thank you all for the caring, the comfort, the new friendships which will stay with me for life

Ain't it amazing that we have this wonderful ways to connect across the thousands of miles that are between us?

Thanks Charlie  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on May 01, 2008, 12:57:18 AM
I'm so glad I've met you and can call you a friend.


(((((((SweetMarleen)))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on August 04, 2008, 10:14:48 AM
I haven't discovered this thread before....

One day I might gather my shattered thoughts and post something here..... :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on August 04, 2008, 06:21:59 PM
It really is a great thread, Sonja.
It is great to be able to post just what the forum has done for a person.
How it has supported ones changes and feelings about the movie, and what the family and community here really do for folks.
I know at some point you will be able to.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on August 14, 2008, 04:09:39 AM
Two years since the first BBQ in Texas.

What a two years it's been.

There have been some ups, some downs, difficult times, misunderstandings, laughs, get togethers, hugs, kisses, tears, new friends, a lot of drinking :D, strong debate, more PMs than I can remember, frequent flyer miles piling up, adopted by three "big brothers", text messages out the wazoo, and I wouldn't change a thing.

The forum has changed my world view, helped me experience more of life, increased my cultural experiences, broadened my taste in music, increased my political understanding, caused some stress, caused some tears, and overall has been a postive experince.

;D

Many thanks to everyone here!!!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on August 14, 2008, 06:43:57 AM
aww thats lovely chuck
this forum has changed my life (because i never do anything else!) no seriously it has changed my life because i have met wonderful friends becasue of Brokeback and i know i can talk about the film, heath or jake anytime i want
its also nice to have people that understand my pain and sadness at heaths shocking death at such a young age and to be able to see beautiful photos of him everyday is truly special for me
its nice because we can all have a joke and a laugh but at the same time talk about serious issues like dieting, grief, death, sexuality and relationships and for that i am greatful
i love all my forum friends
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on August 14, 2008, 09:08:14 AM
Hey Lil Bro Chuckie,

I was just mentioning the second anniversary with Nick yesterday. Two years flew like crazy... The weekend we were all getting to know each other face to face was also the second anniversary of my mother's burial. Being with so many wonderful friends softened the pain of that anniversary a hell of a lot.

I have some incredible memories of those 4 days in Texas! It really changed my life!

Thank you Auntie Linda!

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 12, 2008, 01:24:20 AM
Dearest (((((((((((((((((((((((((( Forum Friend ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Today a year ago I found the forum. I read and read and read. The next day I registered and read even more.

And what a year it has been. Oh my.....

As so many others I had never imagined myself being a member of any community at the internet. But once I found the forum it was no return. This was less than two weeks after seeing the film. If someone told me then how involved I would become I wouldn't have believed it. And if someone told me that within a year I would go to Oxford to meet over 60 people I had never met before, and even have a gathering in my town I'd think that would be a joke.....

Oh what a year it has been... A year that has changed my life forever.

I couldn't imagine that it was possible to really, really get to know people over the internet, communicating by writing – and in English. Without seeing other people's expressions or hearing the tone of their voices. I always thought that would limit the possibilities to really get to know a person, to feel what's in somebody's heart. It turned out to be the other way. So much of the surface isn't there while communicating like this. In a strange way. So many of the usual things we do when we meet others just isn't possible. For me I also think the English writing actually made a difference. That I couldn't hide in my language, use the usual expressions in Swedish.

So I found myself getting closer and closer to the people I met at the forum. And not just in the threads for how Brokeback affects us, not just the more serious threads where it still takes me days to write a post. Also the easier threads became important for me. The way communications work in real life

Of course it was at the Diner it first happened, the magic of  really connecting with people from all over the world. The first time I sat here and laughed so much with people from allover - Japan, all over America and Europe north, west, centre and south..... (And later also Canada, Australia...) Amazing! I quickly became one of the Diners.

It is something special about the fast threads. To meet in the moment. And that has happened in other threads too, the music thread, the Planet.... Because of Brokeback Mountain it hasn't been hard to open up to the meetings. I still can't imagine getting this involved in an internet community about anything else. I am convinced there is something in the hearts of Brokies, something special....

IRL it has become harder and harder over the years to really come close to new friends. I sometimes felt I can only be the real me with friends I have since childhood or youth. That I ‘play an adult’ or something with friends I make now.

With you, dearest forum friends, it's not so.  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Here's to meeting you all! Here's to friendships! And to having each other through the deepest joy and hardest grief, through dull and grey days and days with laughter and sun.... Thick or thin!

Oh what a year it has been!

Love
Yours Mia

(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/pippi/pippi-5.jpg)

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on October 12, 2008, 01:51:10 AM
what a cogent observation mia, that the surface, the solid, can be an obstacle, a hindrance, rather than an aid to communication.  i have found that a new temperance is needed in what i speak through typing without aid of tone of voice.  i have to measure my words most carefully for their effect, and even then it is so easy to misspeak.  i have been forced to try to find common ground with some with whom i met never have thought to pay attention to, and to not say EVERYTHING i think.

as many can attest, i have had many a misstep along the way, but i know i have grown from the experience, even though it is not my first.  it is however the longest lasting, and the one i have worked on the hardest.  it is also the most rewarding exercise i have undertaken in the later years of my life, providing me with a completely unexpected peer group with whom to share my trials, successes, and indeed, the later years of my life.  a peer group that through circumstance and to some degree choice i did NOT have heretofore.     

i was never shy, but i have had to develop in other unexpected ways, and it continues to be worth the price of the journey.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on October 12, 2008, 04:54:40 AM
Maisland (warmest congratulations on becoming a granny, by the way) and Jack. What wonderful posts. Saying everything I have thought for a long time. I started by trying to find more information about a devestating and intelectually intriguing film, now I am part of a forum which is one of the best and most important things I have ever done in my life.
I am very proud of all of us.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on October 12, 2008, 07:55:18 AM
((((((((((((((((((( Mia ))))))))))))))))))))) my dear friend

Excellent post, ((((((((((((((( Jack )))))))))))))))

Agree with you, ((((((((((( Janjo ))))))))))) about the importance of this forum
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on October 12, 2008, 12:18:57 PM
Happy 1st Anniversary ((((((((((((Mia)))))))))))))!!!!!!   :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on October 12, 2008, 12:27:14 PM
{{{{{Mia}}}}}

Congratulations on your 1st Anniversary

Hugs

Sal  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on October 12, 2008, 12:30:27 PM
You have all said it so well Mia, Jack and Jess.....

I like especially these words or yours Jess:

I started by trying to find more information about a devestating and intelectually intriguing film, now I am part of a forum which is one of the best and most important things I have ever done in my life.
I am very proud of all of us.

They are so true for me too. This forum truly is a magical thing, it has changed my life forever, along with the film.

I would never have thought that just by sitting at my computer hour after hour I would get a whole world of new friends........being part of something that fills my life with friendship, laughs, tears, love, connectedness, shared feelings, affinity......

Thank you all (((((( brokie friends)))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 12, 2008, 07:24:12 PM
Mia, JanJo, Jack, such great post here!

It was about this time in 2005 that I found an article online regarding the (then) recent Venice Golden Lion award, and that the movie that won, was the "gay cowboy" movie from Ang Lee.

Intrigued, I read the article.  At the end was a link to the theater trailer for Brokeback Mountain.  From that moment on, I was hooked, and read anything I could find on the movie, and counted the days until it was released in Montclair, NJ, and I could see it.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on October 12, 2008, 08:07:29 PM
Dearest (((((((((((((((((((((((((( Forum Friend ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Today a year ago I found the forum. I read and read and read. The next day I registered and read even more.

And what a year it has been. Oh my.....

As so many others I had never imagined myself being a member of any community at the internet. But once I found the forum it was no return. This was less than two weeks after seeing the film. If someone told me then how involved I would become I wouldn't have believed it. And if someone told me that within a year I would go to Oxford to meet over 60 people I had never met before, and even have a gathering in my town I'd think that would be a joke.....

Oh what a year it has been... A year that has changed my life forever.

I couldn't imagine that it was possible to really, really get to know people over the internet, communicating by writing – and in English. Without seeing other people's expressions or hearing the tone of their voices. I always thought that would limit the possibilities to really get to know a person, to feel what's in somebody's heart. It turned out to be the other way. So much of the surface isn't there while communicating like this. In a strange way. So many of the usual things we do when we meet others just isn't possible. For me I also think the English writing actually made a difference. That I couldn't hide in my language, use the usual expressions in Swedish.

So I found myself getting closer and closer to the people I met at the forum. And not just in the threads for how Brokeback affects us, not just the more serious threads where it still takes me days to write a post. Also the easier threads became important for me. The way communications work in real life

Of course it was at the Diner it first happened, the magic of  really connecting with people from all over the world. The first time I sat here and laughed so much with people from allover - Japan, all over America and Europe north, west, centre and south..... (And later also Canada, Australia...) Amazing! I quickly became one of the Diners.

It is something special about the fast threads. To meet in the moment. And that has happened in other threads too, the music thread, the Planet.... Because of Brokeback Mountain it hasn't been hard to open up to the meetings. I still can't imagine getting this involved in an internet community about anything else. I am convinced there is something in the hearts of Brokies, something special....

IRL it has become harder and harder over the years to really come close to new friends. I sometimes felt I can only be the real me with friends I have since childhood or youth. That I ‘play an adult’ or something with friends I make now.

With you, dearest forum friends, it's not so.  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Here's to meeting you all! Here's to friendships! And to having each other through the deepest joy and hardest grief, through dull and grey days and days with laughter and sun.... Thick or thin!

Oh what a year it has been!

Love
Yours Mia

(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/pippi/pippi-5.jpg)



(((((((((((((((((Mia)))))))))))))))))))))))   

What a wonderful post!  So much of what you have said holds true for me too.  I could never have imagined this!  So many friends from all over the world!  Sharing our thoughts and life experiences.....  The diner is where it all took off for me too after the NYC Labor Day weekend gathering last year. So many different people from so many diverse parts of the world!  It has been a truly marvelous experience!  and one that I could never have anticipated, only a little over a year ago.   
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ChrisW on October 12, 2008, 11:42:22 PM
Dearest Mia, what  a wonderful post. I am so happy for you, and indeed all of us who found each other this way. As I have often put it, I thought I was somewhat crazy until I met Andy - and his obvious sanity and charm started the transformation. But you are also right that actually, it's somehow easier to express the inner person this way, or at least it feels like it  :D, stripped of all the normal extraneous surface. And your English is a most expressive medium indeed.
((((((((((((((((Mia and all Brokies)))))))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 13, 2008, 08:03:45 AM
Thank you ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Friends ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

for the conrats, for celebrating with me.

And for all the wise words.

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Nax on October 13, 2008, 01:21:54 PM
It's amazing what can happen in just a year. ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on October 13, 2008, 01:42:28 PM
It's amazing what can happen in just a year. ;)

Yes, it is!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on October 13, 2008, 02:42:26 PM
Dearest Mia, beautiful post.

So much of what you say rings true for me as well.
And yes, this way of communicating - and in English, for us who are from other countries - brings a richness which is difficult to explain to those who haven't experienced it. 

And Jack's post too.


((((((((all of you))))))))




Jack, btw, do you have anything against capital letters?  :D :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on October 13, 2008, 08:47:05 PM

Jack, btw, do you have anything against capital letters?  :D :D

an affectation i share with e.e. cummings and our illustrious host.  i have a lazy left pinky finger, and besides i save caps for YELLING AT KNUCKLEHEADS when necessary...  :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on November 03, 2008, 05:27:27 AM
Last week I had to write to the husband of a friend who had died.  Of course it was difficult - couldn't be otherwise.  But I suddenly realised that communicating in the forum is starting to change me - I'm finding it easier to express my feelings in writing, and, what was perhaps even harder for me sometimes, in speech - to be more open.  And also to state my opinion more strongly and clearly, but at the same time trying not to offend anyone.  That is hard, because sometimes you just can't see how someone might take what you say the wrong way, when they can't see or hear you. But it's good still to be learning (in my 60s).
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on November 03, 2008, 01:38:56 PM
Cally!!!

Glad you feel that you change by being on the forum....

I find it difficult to know what changes are due to the film itself, and what are due to the forum.... probably impossible to distinguish between anyway....... It's all such a powerful and lifealtering experience to me....

....and my English dictionary has never been in use as much as this last year in all the 30 years I've had it.... :D ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zuraffo on November 12, 2008, 11:36:49 AM
Dear all,

Just to drop by and say hi. I still love you guys/girls.

Life has again been a fast adventure for me and everything is so different now. But BBM has never been far from my heart.

Nowadays I realized that BBM lives with me. Ennis and Jack live with me. Heath lives with me. Jake lives with me. And you guys, through all that sharing, live with me. Every moment. When I live my life to the fullest, I know they live too.

And I know now when I make a difference in someone else's life, they live on too.

Thank you Ennis and Jack, thank you Heath and Jake, thank you Dave cullen and I love you all.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: bradINblue on November 13, 2008, 12:51:29 AM
Dear all,

Just to drop by and say hi. I still love you guys/girls.

Life has again been a fast adventure for me and everything is so different now. But BBM has never been far from my heart.

Nowadays I realized that BBM lives with me. Ennis and Jack live with me. Heath lives with me. Jake lives with me. And you guys, through all that sharing, live with me. Every moment. When I live my life to the fullest, I know they live too.

And I know now when I make a difference in someone else's life, they live on too.

Thank you Ennis and Jack, thank you Heath and Jake, thank you Dave cullen and I love you all.


Good for you, friend. That is what counts.

Brad
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on November 13, 2008, 01:12:31 PM
blasts fromthe past...  :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on November 20, 2008, 04:46:03 AM
Last week I had to write to the husband of a friend who had died.  Of course it was difficult - couldn't be otherwise.  But I suddenly realised that communicating in the forum is starting to change me - I'm finding it easier to express my feelings in writing, and, what was perhaps even harder for me sometimes, in speech - to be more open.  And also to state my opinion more strongly and clearly, but at the same time trying not to offend anyone.  That is hard, because sometimes you just can't see how someone might take what you say the wrong way, when they can't see or hear you. But it's good still to be learning (in my 60s).

A good thing you found it easier to express your feelings in such a difficult situation.
(((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))

I also find it good to be learning. This new experience in communicating like this - when communicating works and not works – sure is a 'teacher'. For a very long time I have been thinking about how much I've learned from doing this in English. And I mean more than the language itself because looking for words and expressions in another language to me also meant searching myself and finding other 'layers' of me.

But there is more... Like you say Cally, to be open, to state ones opinion clearly and trying not to offend anyone is hard. Also not to annoy anyone. To find the right 'tone', to show respect both for other people posting and to the threads themselves, or the subjects discussed there...  Communicating over the internet like this is so different from debating things in the local morning paper or other ways I've done before, like meetings... Here there is no editor, no chairman, no agenda.... It's just us users (within the policy and rules of the forum of course) that makes a thread or subject interesting or not. Post after post and every post makes a difference, has an impact on the thread itself.

It is of course important to learn to communicate over the internet. I think and hope I am on my way to learn to do this better. But it's more.... I am also learning things about me, things that are useful for real life communication too. Like participating while leaving space for others, listening, taking time, thinking before talking, not having to make comments on everything, trying to be humble, learning to take responsible for the subject, the discussion as a whole.... Finding 'us' more important than 'me'....

It is good to keep on learning....
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on November 20, 2008, 03:15:01 PM
So nice to read Zuraffo's post.

Years have passed, things have happened.

Someone died, someone got lost.
New friends arrived.
Unpleasant things have been said, both in public posts and in personal messages.
There are other places around. Other forums. Social networks.

But this place still remains special. A home to return to. Nice to know it's there. The light is on. Always.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on November 20, 2008, 03:18:09 PM

It is of course important to learn to communicate over the internet. I think and hope I am on my way to learn to do this better. But it's more.... I am also learning things about me, things that are useful for real life communication too. Like participating while leaving space for others, listening, taking time, thinking before talking, not having to make comments on everything, trying to be humble, learning to take responsible for the subject, the discussion as a whole.... Finding 'us' more important than 'me'....

It is good to keep on learning....

I agree on every word.

I'm participating in a totally different group, in RL.

I am aware that I learnt a lot here. And many of the technical skills I have acquired here, I use with them. How strange! How beautiful.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on November 25, 2008, 09:36:45 AM
agreed and agreed.  i have had to learn to temper my words, and to not respond EVERY time something rubs me the wrong way.

and i am now the de facto news editor of a fledgling community blog that started as a response to the various amendments that passed here, and the lack of local response.  that picture i took, specifically to show my friends here that i too particpated has had consequences.  i have grown here, and i can take that growth out into the world. 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Adrift on November 25, 2008, 11:09:13 AM

It is of course important to learn to communicate over the internet. I think and hope I am on my way to learn to do this better. But it's more.... I am also learning things about me, things that are useful for real life communication too. Like participating while leaving space for others, listening, taking time, thinking before talking, not having to make comments on everything, trying to be humble, learning to take responsible for the subject, the discussion as a whole.... Finding 'us' more important than 'me'....

It is good to keep on learning....


Although I am absolutely new at this, these few days have been a learning and entertaining experience. Once a teacher told me: "always be humble, and always be harmless". And I have applied this in my life and it has changed my view of existence. Communicating with others is a profund pleasure if only I recognize that my self worth, my integrity and my value as a person does not depend on defending with cape and sword my opinions. In fact, if my opinions and my world view were to remain immovable through time, it would only mean that I had decided to freeze. And you can be sure that a frozen person will never give you any more surprises.  "Beware of congealing" is an ancient Buddhist saying. I try to live by that.

Love to all...
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on November 25, 2008, 04:02:21 PM
Adrift...

Seems you're new here, welcome. I like the words you strive to live by, they are familair ones.

Amito fo!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on November 30, 2008, 09:56:42 AM


Although I am absolutely new at this, these few days have been a learning and entertaining experience. Once a teacher told me: "always be humble, and always be harmless". And I have applied this in my life and it has changed my view of existence. Communicating with others is a profund pleasure if only I recognize that my self worth, my integrity and my value as a person does not depend on defending with cape and sword my opinions. In fact, if my opinions and my world view were to remain immovable through time, it would only mean that I had decided to freeze. And you can be sure that a frozen person will never give you any more surprises.  "Beware of congealing" is an ancient Buddhist saying. I try to live by that.

Love to all...

So true.......

Defending one's opinions that way makes all true communication impossible.....only by letting go of that you'll be able to listen to the other, and to gain respect for your own opinions. It's taken me some time to learn that, and I probably still have a way to go......

Once again, welcome to the forum Adrift! Already, in this short time you have contributed a lot of soul nourishment!!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on March 28, 2009, 08:06:44 AM
(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/diner/diner.jpg)

My dear, dear ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you!

This fall, when we had problems in the Diner - problems that made some of my dear Diner-friends move on in life – I was devastated. Each and everyone of my Diner-friends was so special and important to me. And I was not at all ready to move on. I was still in the ‘honeymoon phase’. To me the moments we shared in real time, the time machine, the love between us, the foundations for true friendships, the fun, the laughs, the tears, the joy, the mutual understandings, the everything we had together was like magic.....

Then the problems started and some friends moved on. I wasn't ready at all!!!!!! And it hurt very much when dear friends felt they had to leave because things didn't work for them at the forum.... To me friends aren't replaceable.... Never will be....

The months have passed... Months when the Diner would have been of help and comfort to me. And I'm sure to others too.... We still met there now and then – some of us anyway. But it wasn't the same.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Debbie, Fritz and Chuck ))))))))))))))))))))))))) did a great job in keeping the Diner alive.....

But - as we all know - it wasn't the same.... The magic was gone.... I became less active on the forum. Not because I moved on in life, like so many others... I became less active mostly because I was mourning the Diner togetherness (if that's a word...)

I know that it will never be the same. But a week ago something happened. I'm still not sure what.  And maybe it's too new and fragile, maybe I should wait before talking about it.... But I can't hold it in. Because I'm so very, very happy!

I'm happy and blessed to have you in my life.

My dearesteresterest ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you! You made me a citizen of the globe!

(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/giffar/heart.gif)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on March 28, 2009, 09:04:14 AM
Tack så mycket, ((((((((((((((((((((((Mia kärissima))))))))))))))))))))))))!!!!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on March 28, 2009, 09:06:16 AM

((((((((((((((((((Pippi)))))))))))))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on March 28, 2009, 09:17:54 AM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Mia)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you.

I missed you so much there for a while, and am so very happy to see you more often again. 

It has begun to feel like the old days again, hasn't it?   :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: djbdc9 on March 28, 2009, 09:27:30 AM
(((((((((((((((((((Mia))))))))))))))))))))))


What a wonderful post from you, and many
share your feelings about last October.
Just added your diner photo to my library.
Hope to get more acquainted very soon.

David
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on March 28, 2009, 10:23:18 AM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Mia))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on March 28, 2009, 10:31:48 AM
Hiya Mia!

Yes, there was some issues in the diner.

Sometimes the chat threads have a revolving door to them.  People come and go.  I've seen it happen in Fan Fair and Le Bar Slash as well.

I will always be in The Diner, there to talk to and hang out with the friends I've made there.

I'm glad to see everyone having fun there again.  Like you, my friendships in The Diner (and the forum as a whole) have gotten me through some tough times.

There are not enough words to expess how much I appreicate you all.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on March 28, 2009, 10:37:19 AM

There are not enough words to expess how much I appreicate you all.

Ditto!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Fritz, Ingmar, Debbie, David. Sue, Chuck )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on March 28, 2009, 11:08:01 AM
Mia...

I miss those times and friends as well.

Big hugs,
Rob
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on March 28, 2009, 12:18:50 PM
(((((((((((((Rob)))))))))))))

It's always so nice to see you, whenever you do have a chance to stop by.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on March 28, 2009, 01:18:31 PM
(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/diner/diner.jpg)

My dear, dear ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you!

This fall, when we had problems in the Diner - problems that made some of my dear Diner-friends move on in life – I was devastated. Each and everyone of my Diner-friends was so special and important to me. And I was not at all ready to move on. I was still in the ‘honeymoon phase’. To me the moments we shared in real time, the time machine, the love between us, the foundations for true friendships, the fun, the laughs, the tears, the joy, the mutual understandings, the everything we had together was like magic.....

Then the problems started and some friends moved on. I wasn't ready at all!!!!!! And it hurt very much when dear friends felt they had to leave because things didn't work for them at the forum.... To me friends aren't replaceable.... Never will be....

The months have passed... Months when the Diner would have been of help and comfort to me. And I'm sure to others too.... We still met there now and then – some of us anyway. But it wasn't the same.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Debbie, Fritz and Chuck ))))))))))))))))))))))))) did a great job in keeping the Diner alive.....

But - as we all know - it wasn't the same.... The magic was gone.... I became less active on the forum. Not because I moved on in life, like so many others... I became less active mostly because I was mourning the Diner togetherness (if that's a word...)

I know that it will never be the same. But a week ago something happened. I'm still not sure what.  And maybe it's too new and fragile, maybe I should wait before talking about it.... But I can't hold it in. Because I'm so very, very happy!

I'm happy and blessed to have you in my life.

My dearesteresterest ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you! You made me a citizen of the globe!

(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/giffar/heart.gif)


 :'( :'( :'(

I understand how you feel  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on March 28, 2009, 01:45:46 PM
My dear, dear ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you!

This fall, when we had problems in the Diner - problems that made some of my dear Diner-friends move on in life – I was devastated. Each and everyone of my Diner-friends was so special and important to me. And I was not at all ready to move on. I was still in the ‘honeymoon phase’. To me the moments we shared in real time, the time machine, the love between us, the foundations for true friendships, the fun, the laughs, the tears, the joy, the mutual understandings, the everything we had together was like magic.....

Then the problems started and some friends moved on. I wasn't ready at all!!!!!! And it hurt very much when dear friends felt they had to leave because things didn't work for them at the forum.... To me friends aren't replaceable.... Never will be....

The months have passed... Months when the Diner would have been of help and comfort to me. And I'm sure to others too.... We still met there now and then – some of us anyway. But it wasn't the same.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Debbie, Fritz and Chuck ))))))))))))))))))))))))) did a great job in keeping the Diner alive.....

But - as we all know - it wasn't the same.... The magic was gone.... I became less active on the forum. Not because I moved on in life, like so many others... I became less active mostly because I was mourning the Diner togetherness (if that's a word...)

I know that it will never be the same. But a week ago something happened. I'm still not sure what.  And maybe it's too new and fragile, maybe I should wait before talking about it.... But I can't hold it in. Because I'm so very, very happy!

I'm happy and blessed to have you in my life.

My dearesteresterest ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you! You made me a citizen of the globe!

(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/giffar/heart.gif)



There are not enough words to expess how much I appreicate you all.

I feel the same......  I was not prepared for the devastation I felt late last summer when the problems developed, people moved on, and things changed and I think I was in mourning for our diner too.  Like you, Mia, I felt that it was all still relatively new to me and it hit me hard.  The diner was the first place here where I really had any dialogue with fellow forum members who I hadn't met personally.  If it hadn't been for the Labor Day gathering the previous fall (2007) in NYC and the encouragement I got from the diner posters I met there  - Chuck, Debbie, & Karen........ I may never have visited the diner at all!  It has been a gift to me to be here, to have met the people and made the friends that I have, and to have become "a citizen of the world" as you said.

I know exactly how you felt then, and how you feel now.  You have said it all so well.

I feel truly blessed to have you all in my life.

Love you all ((((((((((((((((((My diner friends))))))))))))))))))))) !!

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*






Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on March 28, 2009, 01:48:56 PM
(((((((((((((((((Sue))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((Nellie))))))))))))))))


I hope you know how much you both mean to me, too.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on March 28, 2009, 02:35:11 PM
(((Mia))

The original Diner was my creation along with Linda, we created it against much opposition to having any chat thread in the forum at all. It grew out of an old thread that was just about photos, but as there were, and still are, so many people who have trouble keeping quiet ( :D), there started to be more chat than photos. So the gasbags got their own place, and it became the largest thread in the whole forum.

I miss it too,  it is easy to fall out of the habit of posting, but a lot of the people are still around,

 like all families we had fall outs, misunderstandings, arguments, hurt feelings and pride, sadly some lines were crossed.

But time passes, things change, we change.

((Mia))


Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on March 28, 2009, 04:02:04 PM
Thank you and goodness for the Diner, (((((((((((((((((((((((Linda and Nick))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on March 28, 2009, 04:44:22 PM
{{{{{Mia}}}}}

Sal   :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on March 28, 2009, 10:57:37 PM
((((((((((Debbie))))))))))))

 :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on March 28, 2009, 10:58:15 PM
Thank you and goodness for the Diner, (((((((((((((((((((((((Linda and Nick))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



What he said! 

Thank you (((((((((((((((((((((Linda and Nick))))))))))))))))))))))))!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on March 29, 2009, 12:33:04 AM
Thank you and goodness for the Diner, (((((((((((((((((((((((Linda and Nick))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


What he said! 

Thank you (((((((((((((((((((((Linda and Nick))))))))))))))))))))))))!

What they both said

Thank you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Linda and Nick ))))))))))))))))))))))))



And thank you all for the hugs

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Dinerfriends )))))))))))))))))))))))))

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on March 29, 2009, 04:36:43 AM

I miss the people that have left. I miss them very much. Precious people. Nothing can replace their presence, their intelligence, their humour, their spontaneity.

It's not the same anymore without them.

Yet, the Diner is one my favourite places on earth, and I am grateful to have it and to go there whenever I feel like it
and find many many loving souls - human warmth.

May the Diner continue to give us this special love, friendship, affection and fun.



Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on March 29, 2009, 06:36:01 AM
I am glad it is all feeling so "right" for you now Mia. I wasn't here back then, too busy arguing about whether "Jack Quit Ennis" or some such :D, I'm only here ocassionally now, but it is a great place to be a part of, and it is good that whatever the past troubles were they are now resolved.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on March 29, 2009, 10:41:10 AM

I miss the people that have left. I miss them very much. Precious people. Nothing can replace their presence, their intelligence, their humour, their spontaneity.

It's not the same anymore without them.

Yet, the Diner is one my favourite places on earth, and I am grateful to have it and to go there whenever I feel like it
and find many many loving souls - human warmth.

May the Diner continue to give us this special love, friendship, affection and fun.

Here's to everything that you said! 

It is truly a very special place filled with very special people. 

It is one of my my favorite places on earth too.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on March 29, 2009, 11:49:07 AM
Thank you and goodness for the Diner, (((((((((((((((((((((((Linda and Nick))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks so much ((((((((((((((((((Fritz)))))))))))))))) and all my ((((((((((((((((((((Diner Friends))))))))))))))))))) past and present. I was just talking to a long time forum member about this just yesterday!! How, as Nick said, the Diner got started. It was so full of people, just talking and sharing. Nothing of great importance, not earth shattering, just a place to come and pass some time with the best of friends. This was right about 3 years ago. Also as Nick said, the Diner has changed, gone through many names, and looks. But the fundamental basis of it stays the same. A place where ANYONE can come and visit, share their days and their lives, if they want to or not. Talk to the folks present or just read. Everyone has always been welcome, in whatever capacity they so choose.

I am always thankful for the folks there, who they are and what they share with all of us, friends. Brokeback brought us all here, but all of you here, whether you frequent the Diner or not is what keeps us here. As many have said before, many come and go, things change, but the friends here and gone will always have in their hearts this Brokeback feeling and this place that brought us together.

Thanks to all of you!!! :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on April 01, 2009, 05:35:51 PM
Since we're talking about "How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me," I think it may be appropriate to mention something else that isn't often thought of.  It doesn't specifically concern BBM or our fellow posters, but rather, the host location of this forum on the Dave Cullen web site.

With the publication of Dave's book "Columbine," I realize how fortunate we are to be in such close touch with a published author.  There is a thread in Our Community, where Dave has described the process he's gone through recently in bringing the book to its final published form.  Even before that thread was initiated, we read here and there, from time to time, what he was going through during the writing stage. 

It's been fascinating watching, from here in the shadows, as this project neared completion.  And it's very rewarding to have a copy of the final product in my own hands, as I'm reading it right now, knowing that the forum's sponsor is the book's author.  Dave, you make us proud!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on April 04, 2009, 06:33:32 AM
(((((((((((((( Mia and all diner friends )))))))))))))))))  :-* :-* :-* :-*

The diner is a very special place to me to! A place to come whenever I feel like it, with friends around. Full of friendship and love

and humour and caring about each other. A place to talk seriously or just shoot the shit with dear friends.

No matter how bad a day I've had or how low I'm feeling, I know I have a place to go where people welcome me and are happy

to see me there. To me, that is worth more than I can say.....

It's also the place that repetedly keeps me up waaaaaaay to late at night!!  :D

And what great laughs I've had in the diner!!!!!


Thank you soooooooo much (((((((((((((((( Linda and Nick ))))))))))))))))))))) for creating it!!!!  :-* :-* :-* :-*


And here's to many many more wonderful moments in the diner and new friendships to be made!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on May 15, 2009, 07:35:53 PM
(http://i327.photobucket.com/albums/k463/dcfmod/brokebac.jpg)

I was always a homebody.  A Jersey boy, who never had any intentions of leaving NJ.

And then I joined this forum.

:D :D :D

In the 4 years since Brokeback has been released, I've been to 12 states, and to the UK.

I've seen London, Oxford, the Colorado Mountians, Riverton Wyoming, Washington DC,
San Fran and L.A., the Arizona sunsets, a Bay City blizzard, the Texas riverwalk,
the flatlands of Oklahoma....and so much more!

Trips this year will include Ma., Canada, and New Zealand.

:o

I've been to so many great places, and met truly wonderful people,
and had my world view increase....I've grown as a man.

It's all because of Brokeback Mountain, and the Ultimate Brokeback Forum.

Life has become much more interesting, and a lot more fun, and for that...

I thank you!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on May 15, 2009, 07:40:36 PM
And I thank you, ((((((Chuck)))))), for being here

and for leading me into so many new places of my own.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on May 15, 2009, 09:29:22 PM
i'm happy for you chuck, but i hate it that you will get to new zealand before i do (if ever).
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on May 16, 2009, 01:27:13 AM
And ((((Chuck)))) I'd like to say what a warm, welcoming and friendly presence you are on the forum, and particularly in the Diner.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on May 16, 2009, 01:46:21 AM
Thank you dearest (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Chuck)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

for being here! For your wonderful soul and spirit! For everything you give!

I love you!!!!!!!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on May 16, 2009, 06:26:40 AM
Chuck, I am sure you were always a wonderful person, but now you are even more wonderful. Have a great time on your travels and come back to us with all of your interesting insights gathered along the way.

We all love you! :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on May 16, 2009, 11:37:22 AM
Like Chuck, I too have gone to places and met people that I would not have encountered had it not been for the Forum.

All my vacations since 2006 have involved Forum gatherings!

After 3+ years of chattiness, I thank you all!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BayCityJohn on May 16, 2009, 11:53:20 AM
Congratulations Fritz!

40,000 posts!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on May 16, 2009, 12:06:08 PM
Thank you, John!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on May 16, 2009, 02:19:54 PM
And thank you ((((((((((((((((( Chuck )))))))))))))))))))))))))

for being who you are,

and for being here and taking such a great part in making the forum the wonderful place it is.


 :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on May 17, 2009, 09:31:18 AM
Thank you dearest (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Chuck)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
for being here! For your wonderful soul and spirit! For everything you give!
I love you!!!!!!!

I have to echo Mia and everyone else here. 

Thank you (((((((((((((((((Chuck)))))))))))))))))))))))  :-* :-* :-*

 





Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on May 17, 2009, 09:33:10 AM
Like Chuck, I too have gone to places and met people that I would not have encountered had it not been for the Forum.
All my vacations since 2006 have involved Forum gatherings!
After 3+ years of chattiness, I thank you all!

Thank YOU (((((((((((((Fritz)))))))))))))))))  :-* :-* :-*

You are a wonderful presence here too.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on May 17, 2009, 10:00:46 AM
Thank YOU (((((((((((((Fritz)))))))))))))))))  :-* :-* :-*

You are a wonderful presence here too.


Thanks from me, too, Fritz.  Although I don't see you as often at the gatherings, we talk almost daily in the Diner, and you have wonderful insights about so many things.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on May 17, 2009, 10:03:38 AM
Gee, thank y'all!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on May 17, 2009, 10:08:44 AM
Thank YOU (((((((((((((Fritz)))))))))))))))))  :-* :-* :-*

You are a wonderful presence here too.


Thanks from me, too, Fritz.  Although I don't see you as often at the gatherings, we talk almost daily in the Diner, and you have wonderful insights about so many things.

Agreed!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on May 17, 2009, 10:14:37 AM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Fritz ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

My dear, dear friend!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much for being here!!!!! For listening when I've cried, for understanding, for laughing with me...

You are a very special and wonderful friend to me.

Love!!!!!!

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on May 17, 2009, 10:45:29 AM
Wow!  :">  :'(  Thank you all for your kindnesses.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on May 17, 2009, 10:51:30 AM
Wow!  :">  :'(  Thank you all for your kindnesses.



You know you're worth it, you're actually worth even more....

And all the best.....

Love!!!!!!

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on May 17, 2009, 12:54:21 PM
Thank YOU (((((((((((((Fritz)))))))))))))))))  :-* :-* :-*

You are a wonderful presence here too.


Thanks from me, too, Fritz.  Although I don't see you as often at the gatherings, we talk almost daily in the Diner, and you have wonderful insights about so many things.

So true!

I do agree!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on May 18, 2009, 04:59:50 PM
Fritz!  Thanks for the hug--I needed it badly today.

Life has been so jumbled, mainly because of my uncertain job situation and lack of money and my still-not totally gone bronchitis.  (Turning 50 in a few weeks isn't helping, either.)  This is why I haven't posted much lately--I hate to bring others down when I'm down.

But I'm grateful for all of you and my life has irrevocably changed since January 7, 2006 when I saw BBM for the first time.  It led me to this forum where I have met so many nice, wonderful people.  I may not correspond much in the diner but you people mean a lot to me. 

Hugs,

Mark
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on May 18, 2009, 06:05:21 PM
((((((((((((((Mark)))))))))))))))

It's always nice to hear from you.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on May 18, 2009, 06:11:44 PM

((((((((((((((Mark)))))))))))))))

anytime you need hugs, you know where to come.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on May 18, 2009, 06:37:41 PM
Same from me ((((((((((((Mark))))))))))))))

Always know that you can come here anytime, whether you are up or down and we will all be here for you!!!! :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ChrisW on May 19, 2009, 12:52:04 AM
- and they mean this!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on May 19, 2009, 04:17:18 AM
((((((((((((((((((((((Mark))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on May 19, 2009, 04:33:44 AM
((((((((((((((Mark)))))))))))))))

It's always nice to hear from you.

What Debbie and all the others said. Always!

(((((((((((((((((((((( Mark ))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on May 19, 2009, 12:49:39 PM
Fritz!  Thanks for the hug--I needed it badly today.

Life has been so jumbled, mainly because of my uncertain job situation and lack of money and my still-not totally gone bronchitis.  (Turning 50 in a few weeks isn't helping, either.)  This is why I haven't posted much lately--I hate to bring others down when I'm down.

But I'm grateful for all of you and my life has irrevocably changed since January 7, 2006 when I saw BBM for the first time.  It led me to this forum where I have met so many nice, wonderful people.  I may not correspond much in the diner but you people mean a lot to me. 

Hugs,

Mark

(((( MARK ))))

I understand where you're coming from...the job thing...I'm sorry.

but I'm thinking of you, always feel free to vent with us...you won't bring us down,don't be silly.....you won't...we're here for you

Nellie
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on May 20, 2009, 05:16:32 PM
Thanks, all of you.  That means a lot. 

Love you,

Mark
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on May 20, 2009, 06:09:25 PM
love you back, buddy!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on May 20, 2009, 06:12:49 PM
(((((((((((((((((((((Mark))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))!!!!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on May 21, 2009, 01:44:13 PM
((((((((((((((((( Mark )))))))))))))))))))))))   


Don't stay away when you're feeling down,

that way you won't give us the chance to support you.

 :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on May 21, 2009, 02:57:23 PM
Sonja is right, ((((((((((((Mark))))))))))))

Come here and talk to us, if you can.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on June 05, 2009, 03:09:19 PM
Life has been so jumbled, mainly because of my uncertain job situation and lack of money and my still-not totally gone bronchitis.  (Turning 50 in a few weeks isn't helping, either.)  This is why I haven't posted much lately--I hate to bring others down when I'm down.


Do not worry, Mark.

We are here to share. Life is not easy for many of us, so many times.
And then, you are such a sweet person. Hearing from you cannot bring me down.

A big kiss
D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on June 06, 2009, 06:41:01 AM
It's so wonderful how this thread makes us open up our hearts...

Love you

((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Brokie friends )))))))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on June 07, 2009, 10:28:00 AM
Thank you all again for your kind words!  They mean so much.  AND keep me going.

ANOTHER woe--my computer at home is down!  It's driving me crazy.

Hopefully it'll get fixed by the end of the week.

Until then, take care, everyone!  BIG hugs from one grateful guy.

Mark
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on June 07, 2009, 07:42:40 PM
Mark I hope your computer gets fixed quickly. I know how hard it is when one's computer is down.

Take care yourself and know that we are here!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on June 15, 2009, 05:05:53 AM
My dear, dear ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you!

This fall, when we had problems in the Diner - problems that made some of my dear Diner-friends move on in life – I was devastated. Each and everyone of my Diner-friends was so special and important to me. And I was not at all ready to move on. I was still in the ‘honeymoon phase’. To me the moments we shared in real time, the time machine, the love between us, the foundations for true friendships, the fun, the laughs, the tears, the joy, the mutual understandings, the everything we had together was like magic.....

Then the problems started and some friends moved on. I wasn't ready at all!!!!!! And it hurt very much when dear friends felt they had to leave because things didn't work for them at the forum.... To me friends aren't replaceable.... Never will be....

The months have passed... Months when the Diner would have been of help and comfort to me. And I'm sure to others too.... We still met there now and then – some of us anyway. But it wasn't the same.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( Debbie, Fritz and Chuck ))))))))))))))))))))))))) did a great job in keeping the Diner alive.....

But - as we all know - it wasn't the same.... The magic was gone.... I became less active on the forum. Not because I moved on in life, like so many others... I became less active mostly because I was mourning the Diner togetherness (if that's a word...)

I know that it will never be the same. But a week ago something happened. I'm still not sure what.  And maybe it's too new and fragile, maybe I should wait before talking about it.... But I can't hold it in. Because I'm so very, very happy!

I'm happy and blessed to have you in my life.

My dearesteresterest ((((((((((((((((((((((((( Diner friends )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This is my love-post for you! You made me a citizen of the globe!

(http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc19/Janssonmamma/giffar/heart.gif)


Hi Mia,

WOW - Only just catching up on threads... I am so sad that you felt that way last year - For what its worth my posting had slowed in any event, and unfortunately work has taken priority. I also feel bad spending 2 minutes in the diner to just say a quick hello, as its a place of so much chatter... and more often than not I am gone before anyone has had opportunity to reply...! 

You would have LOVED the diner of 2006, when it was impossible to keep up (although Fritz was always quoting posts from 50 pages prevoiusly as he condimented!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D) - You could go to bed for 5 hours and wake to 70-80 pages missed in the diner...!!!!!! the cornerstones for me were Nellie and Jackie in those days, although there were so many others in and out on a daily basis!!!!! Nellie always seemed to be in the diner, starting work at some ungodly hour! and Jackie was always full of so much love for everyone...!

Fritz, Debbie and Chuck did a sterling job of keeping things going  ;D

Reading your post and others replies, it has encouraged me to try and make some more time to come in and say hi even if its only for a couple of minutes...! So I am now off to the diner...  ;) ;D   
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: gnash on June 15, 2009, 05:55:52 AM
mia!! what a wonderful love post!!! i don't come in here much, or go into the diner at all, but i happened to catch your post -- two and a half months later! -- thanks to wayne! LOL.

i'm so glad you had this burst of happiness, and that the diner is still alive! in a way, i suspect the magic was never gone -- just dormant, or missing from your life. i remember when the diner was called "auntie's 24 hour diner" and i did graphics for the joint, back when it first started, well before linda's wonderful texas bbm backyard bbq brought so many of us together face to face for the first time.

(http://taxine.com/fullerspicer/08-08-06_1017.jpg)

chuck posted pics in the memorabilia thread recently of those cups... there were also shirts, caps, tees, and even a thong. ;D (well, i don't know if anybody bought that one, it wasn't on display on any collectible shelves.) but i remember jackie wearing a wonderful diner t-shirt designed by john john, and seeing others in shirts n things from the forum, hugging and laughing and smiling all around, knowing that the dave cullen forum had become more than just a place to meet -- but a place where people belonged.

(http://taxine.com/fullerspicer/08-15-06_1434.jpg)

to all the people who have come and gone, those who have been here through thick and thin, despite any "problems," to those who've left with tears or frowns, and those that came back with smiles on their faces, and to the guys and gals that have really and truly moved on -- i think it's safe to say that this forum has been more than just an outpost of ideas and words, of news, of images and laughs and sharing... it's been a lifestyle. it's become our song.

(http://taxine.com/fullerspicer/BBMzudos_hairclouds.jpg)

so wayne's in the 'ol diner right now, unless i've waited too long... maybe i'll step into the place and say "howdy" to that man. :D

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Zudos on June 15, 2009, 07:09:41 AM
Great post Jimmy, and thanks for reminding me that the photo of the hands was Jari and myself on the way to the airport to drop him off  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

And I always LOVED your last photo... The days when I did not want my pic on the forum!!!!!!!! I can not believe that I only had a small amount of hair spiked in those days!!!!!!!

Its great to see you, bump into you... We had a great time in 2006... I learned so much from you  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*   
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on June 15, 2009, 12:06:36 PM

Hi Mia,

WOW - Only just catching up on threads... I am so sad that you felt that way last year - For what its worth my posting had slowed in any event, and unfortunately work has taken priority. I also feel bad spending 2 minutes in the diner to just say a quick hello, as its a place of so much chatter... and more often than not I am gone before anyone has had opportunity to reply...! 

You would have LOVED the diner of 2006, when it was impossible to keep up (although Fritz was always quoting posts from 50 pages prevoiusly as he condimented!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D) - You could go to bed for 5 hours and wake to 70-80 pages missed in the diner...!!!!!! the cornerstones for me were Nellie and Jackie in those days, although there were so many others in and out on a daily basis!!!!! Nellie always seemed to be in the diner, starting work at some ungodly hour! and Jackie was always full of so much love for everyone...!

Fritz, Debbie and Chuck did a sterling job of keeping things going  ;D

Reading your post and others replies, it has encouraged me to try and make some more time to come in and say hi even if its only for a couple of minutes...! So I am now off to the diner...  ;) ;D   

Oh Wayne......how I miss you so.....  :'( :'( :-* :-*...please PM me at some point
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on June 15, 2009, 07:30:00 PM
And I always LOVED your last photo... The days when I did not want my pic on the forum!!!!!!!! I can not believe that I only had a small amount of hair spiked in those days!!!!!!!


:D :D :D

I remember those days, and it's been fun to see you come out of your shell, and learn to trust yourself, and others around you.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on June 17, 2009, 02:42:44 PM

Hi Mia,

WOW - Only just catching up on threads... I am so sad that you felt that way last year - For what its worth my posting had slowed in any event, and unfortunately work has taken priority. I also feel bad spending 2 minutes in the diner to just say a quick hello, as its a place of so much chatter... and more often than not I am gone before anyone has had opportunity to reply...!  

You would have LOVED the diner of 2006, when it was impossible to keep up (although Fritz was always quoting posts from 50 pages prevoiusly as he condimented!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D) - You could go to bed for 5 hours and wake to 70-80 pages missed in the diner...!!!!!! the cornerstones for me were Nellie and Jackie in those days, although there were so many others in and out on a daily basis!!!!! Nellie always seemed to be in the diner, starting work at some ungodly hour! and Jackie was always full of so much love for everyone...!

Fritz, Debbie and Chuck did a sterling job of keeping things going  ;D

Reading your post and others replies, it has encouraged me to try and make some more time to come in and say hi even if its only for a couple of minutes...! So I am now off to the diner... ;) ;D  

Oh......

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Wayne)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!

Having you back in the diner, even if just briefly, is just wonderful!!!!!!!!!

I have missed you very much!!!!!

Love!!!!!!! And thank you!!!!!!!

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on June 17, 2009, 02:46:22 PM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jimmy)))))))))))))))))))))))

It would be just GREAT to see you in the Diner!!!!!!!!!

I SO hope to meet you there one day!!!!!

 :-*
Title: Three Years Already?
Post by: lovelyamazing on June 29, 2009, 10:45:18 PM
Today's my three year anniversary on the forum. I haven't forgotten I was speechless for the first week ;) Strangely I am speechless all over again today. Can you imagine lovelyamazing actually can't find words  ??? ::) ;) The only word I can find is AMAZING (remind you of someone?)

What a ride it's been!
Love you all
 :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Three Years Already?
Post by: Sara B on June 30, 2009, 01:10:32 AM
Today's my three year anniversary on the forum. I haven't forgotten I was speechless for the first week ;) Strangely I am speechless all over again today. Can you imagine lovelyamazing actually can't find words  ??? ::) ;) The only word I can find is AMAZING (remind you of someone?)

What a ride it's been!
Love you all
 :-* :-* :-* :-*

Congratulations, Maya :-*

Hope the speechlessness doesn't last long!  I know how you feel though :).
Title: Re: Three Years Already?
Post by: lovelyamazing on June 30, 2009, 01:33:08 AM
Congratulations, Maya :-*

Hope the speechlessness doesn't last long!  I know how you feel though :).

((((((Sara)))))) Thanks :-*
I am trying to articulate my feelings in my journal, trying to pause at each milestone and retrace the journeys in between.

Every now and then there's a signboard that says "Caution, bump ahead!" It undoubtedly hurts when going over them again but at least one is prepared. And then there are all those moments of joy, mirth, self discovery that make me smile again. Recalling these three years is indeed a roller coaster ride.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on June 30, 2009, 05:10:22 AM
Happy Anniversary Maya!  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on June 30, 2009, 05:33:56 AM
Happy Anniversary to Lovely, Amazing, Maya. :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on June 30, 2009, 05:42:34 AM
Thanks Chuck :-* Thanks Jess :-*


Instead of a post about me, I thought I'd honor this day by sharing something about others  from my neck of the woods. India is rising and shining. In the face of so much foot-dragging and political wrangling, our movement is alive and well.


The slide show here will tell you just how!
http://www.dnaindia.com/bangalore/slideshow_saying-it-with-pride_1269481

As I've journeyed for 3 years with my lovely Brokie family, it's great to know that so many others have moved forward and found solace, support and solidarity in their own ways in their pockets of this vast country.

The other link I want to share is a blog post from a recent cyberfriend in Bangalore, covering the pride. And to draw your attention to the comments.

http://sanjukta.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/bangalore-queer-pride-march09-a-report

A woman Indira has commented showing you the kind of ignorance we deal with (hardly different across the globe is it?) and a brave and articulate 17 year old kid called Firebolt has taken her on!  When there are kids like that around, you know there's hope.
Please do read it and comment if you feel like.

Thanks to my journey on the forum I traveled a road that led me to an intersection with all these amazing other pathways  from different sources. Who would have ever know back then in 2006? It's incredible that we are all under the same rainbow sky!
Title: Re: Three Years Already?
Post by: Miaisland on June 30, 2009, 06:01:45 AM
Today's my three year anniversary on the forum. I haven't forgotten I was speechless for the first week ;) Strangely I am speechless all over again today. Can you imagine lovelyamazing actually can't find words  ??? ::) ;) The only word I can find is AMAZING (remind you of someone?)

What a ride it's been!
Love you all
 :-* :-* :-* :-*

Happy anniversary dearest (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Maya)))))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!

I am so glad and thankful you are here, that I get to know you, lovely, amazing Maya!!!!!

Much much love to you.
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Your friend Mia
Title: Re: Three Years Already?
Post by: lovelyamazing on June 30, 2009, 06:08:03 AM
Happy anniversary dearest (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Maya)))))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!

I am so glad and thankful you are here, that I get to know you, lovely, amazing Maya!!!!!

Much much love to you.
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Your friend Mia

((((((((((((Mia)))))))))))) thank you :-* You are one of those precious friends who was hidden from my view till recently. I'm thankful we found each other.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on June 30, 2009, 06:57:47 AM
Thanks Chuck :-* Thanks Jess :-*


Instead of a post about me, I thought I'd honor this day by sharing something about others  from my neck of the woods. India is rising and shining. In the face of so much foot-dragging and political wrangling, our movement is alive and well.


The slide show here will tell you just how!
http://www.dnaindia.com/bangalore/slideshow_saying-it-with-pride_1269481

As I've journeyed for 3 years with my lovely Brokie family, it's great to know that so many others have moved forward and found solace, support and solidarity in their own ways in their pockets of this vast country.

The other link I want to share is a blog post from a recent cyberfriend in Bangalore, covering the pride. And to draw your attention to the comments.

http://sanjukta.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/bangalore-queer-pride-march09-a-report

A woman Indira has commented showing you the kind of ignorance we deal with (hardly different across the globe is it?) and a brave and articulate 17 year old kid called Firebolt has taken her on!  When there are kids like that around, you know there's hope.
Please do read it and comment if you feel like.

Thanks to my journey on the forum I traveled a road that led me to an intersection with all these amazing other pathways  from different sources. Who would have ever know back then in 2006? It's incredible that we are all under the same rainbow sky!

Thank you for those links , Maya.  Wonderful photos, and the blog, now with more comments than when you first posted - really good to read.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on June 30, 2009, 07:11:07 AM

Thank you for those links , Maya.  Wonderful photos, and the blog, now with more comments than when you first posted - really good to read.

Glad you enjoyed. Yes I went back and saw that Firebolt had thanked me. Life is so tough when you're different and 17.

I'm still thinking back on these 3 years, some parts feel so unreal.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on June 30, 2009, 09:16:15 AM
Hi Mia,

WOW - Only just catching up on threads... I am so sad that you felt that way last year - For what its worth my posting had slowed in any event, and unfortunately work has taken priority. I also feel bad spending 2 minutes in the diner to just say a quick hello, as its a place of so much chatter... and more often than not I am gone before anyone has had opportunity to reply...! 

You would have LOVED the diner of 2006, when it was impossible to keep up (although Fritz was always quoting posts from 50 pages prevoiusly as he condimented!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D) - You could go to bed for 5 hours and wake to 70-80 pages missed in the diner...!!!!!! the cornerstones for me were Nellie and Jackie in those days, although there were so many others in and out on a daily basis!!!!! Nellie always seemed to be in the diner, starting work at some ungodly hour! and Jackie was always full of so much love for everyone...!

Fritz, Debbie and Chuck did a sterling job of keeping things going  ;D

Reading your post and others replies, it has encouraged me to try and make some more time to come in and say hi even if its only for a couple of minutes...! So I am now off to the diner...  ;) ;D   

Hi, Wayne,

I see that you wrote this on June 15.  That was the day when we talked so very briefly in the Diner.  You were sick with the flu, and I was sneaking onto my aunt's computer that day (was out of town for three weeks).  I remember the date because it was when I had to log on to get the first questions for our book club, and after saying hi in the Diner, I checked back once but couldn't stay.  It was lunch time, my aunt was in her kitchen eating, and I had to get back to mom's house to take care of her.  So I'm sorry I didn't get to stay there and chat, but just wanted to leave a message for everyone that I had been missing.  And it turns out, not very many people happened to be online that day.

I hope you will come back to the Diner again soon.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on June 30, 2009, 09:18:54 AM
Congratulations on your anniversary, (((((Maya))))).

You always have so much to bring to this forum.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on June 30, 2009, 09:33:51 AM
Congratulations on your anniversary, (((((Maya))))).

You always have so much to bring to this forum.

((((((((((Debbie)))))))))) you're one of the gifts the forum brought to me :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on June 30, 2009, 12:15:18 PM
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary ((((((((((((((((Maya))))))))))))))))))) !!

Thank you for being here! 

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on June 30, 2009, 07:11:51 PM
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary ((((((((((((((((Maya))))))))))))))))))) !!

Thank you for being here! 

((((((((((((((Sue))))))))))) you're one of those who keeps me going. Thank you :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on June 30, 2009, 08:24:42 PM
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary ((((((((((((((((Maya))))))))))))))))))) !!

Thank you for being here! 

((((((((((((((Sue))))))))))) you're one of those who keeps me going. Thank you :-*

You're welcome..   :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on July 01, 2009, 02:25:24 PM
Belated Happy Anniversary (((((((((((((((((( Maya )))))))))))))))))))))    :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on July 01, 2009, 07:47:35 PM
Thank you (((((((Sonja)))))))  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on July 02, 2009, 01:31:19 PM

It's incredible that we are all under the same rainbow sky!


Yes it is, lovely Maya.

Happy anniversary and many many heartfelt thanks for being here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on July 02, 2009, 02:53:46 PM


Yes it is, lovely Maya.

Happy anniversary and many many heartfelt thanks for being here.

Thanks for being here for me (((((((((Daniela)))))))))  :-*
I'm actually celebrating rainbow victory. Check the Hot Topics thread.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on July 24, 2009, 03:43:52 PM
My 2 year anniversary on the Forum is coming up in August, and I still cannot put something together that won't sound incoherent. Last year I thought about posting something, but didn't. This year, I'm determined to gather my thoughts and try to articulate them properly. I know I'm glad I joined, and have become acquainted with many, many people I would have otherwise never known at all. I know I'm 'richer' for that opportunity and experience!  :) :) :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on July 24, 2009, 03:53:45 PM
And we are richer for knowing you too!!

Sal   ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on July 24, 2009, 03:58:35 PM
((((((((((((((((Jonn))))))))))))

I'm so glad you joined! We are richer for knowing you as Sal says.

 :) :) :) :-*


Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on July 24, 2009, 04:08:28 PM
You two are some of the SWEETEST Ladies I know..............thanks for the comments!!  :) :) :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on July 25, 2009, 01:49:04 PM
Jonn, sometimes words are not necessary to let others know that you are a presence here and that the forum means a lot to you and all the folks as well. It has been great to get to know you through the forum, and to interact with you.

I know what you mean though, to be able to express it in words. I still struggle after all this time to be able to articulate what the changes are for me and what this place means to me, and all that the folks here mean to me. The ones I have met in person and the ones I have met here online.

I know ir will come from the heart.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on July 25, 2009, 03:03:26 PM
(((((((((((((((((Jonn)))))))))))))))

Sal, Mia, and Linda said it all so well..

I, too, have struggled to come up with the words to express what I feel being here and was not able to find them for my 3rd anniversary.   I know they will come eventually, and yours will too.

I am thankfor for knowing you through this place.... 

Thank you for being here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on August 31, 2009, 06:44:03 PM
Today is my 2 year anniversary on this Forum. As luck would have it, I wrote a really thoughtful post earlier today, when all was fresher in my mind, then lost it to cyberspace...........ah, such is life some days...........what to say? I have many thoughts, how to articulate them decently. But here goes:

I first became a fan of the SS way back when, could not get it out of my mind. Then when I heard Ang Lee was making it into a film, after many false starts elsewhere, I became obsessed with seeing it. Could not get enough info about it, that's how I found DCF. So, many thanks to Dave Cullen for this site. I saw the film four times in January 2006, and for whatever reason, it did not move me as much as the SS. I'm drawn to the written word anyway, can't help it. The film, all parts of it, was simply excellent. So, I lurked around this forum, discovered the 'wonder' of it all in the members here. But something held me back from joining until this day in 2007. And I have not regretted a moment since that day.

I have met some of the most interesting, intelligent, sincere, passionate, warm, caring, and yes, at times, challenging people in here. I wouldn't trade one moment with any of them now. Some are still here, some have slowed their posts, some have left, moved on, some have also passed away, it's called life............

To me this place encompasses all countries, all cultures, all religions, all races, all political leanings, all of life. In every aspect, life is represented here in the many different topics and threads, it's amazing to me. We are all the same really, we all need food, clothing, shelter, but most of all, we all need and want to love, and be loved. Love knows no boundaries, it's the same need no matter what country you live in, what government you have, what culture or religious practices, or politics you adhere to, love simply is.......................

For me, Mothers are Mothers no matter what the country or culture, the feelings are the same, Lovers are Lovers no matter under what government they make Love, and people everywhere simply want one thing....................to know Love, and to be Loved..................we ALL want the Love that will never grow Old............we all want to meet, or find, our soulmate, that person who we know in our heart of hearts is meant for us................

For me, Love is never wrong, and should never be wrong, no matter what combination or form it takes...........that's what I took from the SS and the film. From this forum, the people I have met here, their stories, their trials and tribulations, their triumphs and joys.............all of them want to be accepted and Loved for who they are.................as we all do...............

I have been deeply touched by many people here; I have formed strong, new relationships, made connections around the world I wouldn't have thought possible, so for Dave, for all the members here, now and past, thank you for allowing me to be here, to share, to care, to connect.................my life is much, much RICHER for having met you all.

I hope this makes some sense, I'm not all that good at expressing my emotions in words, but I have tried...............I LOVE you all, each one..........be true to yourselves, just BE yourselves, not what someone else, or society tells you to be..............follow your heart.................follow your heart.............

sincerely,
Jonn
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on August 31, 2009, 07:16:36 PM
What a beautiful post, Jonn!  Thank you for taking the time to type, and retype it!

Happy anniversary here on DCF!

You were always an active Lasher, and come to the Diner as well, and I'm grateful for that.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on August 31, 2009, 07:21:05 PM
well said, jonn.

and i too was crushed by the raw truth of the short story, and its echoes of my life.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on August 31, 2009, 07:53:28 PM
I have been deeply touched by many people here; I have formed strong, new relationships, made connections around the world I wouldn't have thought possible, so for Dave, for all the members here, now and past, thank you for allowing me to be here, to share, to care, to connect.................my life is much, much RICHER for having met you all.

I hope this makes some sense, I'm not all that good at expressing my emotions in words, but I have tried...............I LOVE you all, each one..........be true to yourselves, just BE yourselves, not what someone else, or society tells you to be..............follow your heart.................follow your heart.............

sincerely,
Jonn

Jonn, it really, really makes sense.  You expressed yourself wonderfully in that post.  Your message is one we should all remember.

I am so glad you are here.  Happy Anniversary!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tigs on September 01, 2009, 01:05:26 AM
A post from the heart Jonn, thanks for sharing!

Hugs

Sal   :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on September 01, 2009, 04:21:40 AM
An absolutely wonderful posting, sharing the wonder of this very special and magical place. John............you. and the rest of us are truly blessed.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on September 01, 2009, 06:47:59 AM
thanks to all of you for the words of appreciation and acknowledgment, means a lot to me, it's sometimes hard to translate our feelings and emotions into words, at least for me it is.................so thanks for getting it............. :) :) :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on September 01, 2009, 06:51:23 AM
thanks to all of you for the words of appreciation and acknowledgment, means a lot to me, it's sometimes hard to translate our feelings and emotions into words, at least for me it is.................so thanks for getting it............. :) :) :)


Jonn, I think you did just that, extraordinarily well.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on September 01, 2009, 07:08:14 AM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jonn))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) !!

Dear friend! Thank you so much for your post!! For sharing your heart with us!

I am so happy to have met you! So very glad you are here!

Happy anniversary to you!

Much love!
 :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on September 01, 2009, 09:01:08 AM

What all the previous posters said...

(((Jonn))) - wonderful and touching to read about all your thoughts, and emotions and experiences.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on September 01, 2009, 11:22:25 AM
Thanks Ladies, and Ing! I'm still so touched by the great members here, this place is a Haven of Acceptance for me......... :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: tonydude on September 01, 2009, 12:12:32 PM
   Jonn - you really spoke from the heart, and that's what counts.  That was a beautiful post.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on September 01, 2009, 05:04:28 PM
A little belated thank you for your post, Jonn, and happy anniversary here in our midst!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on September 01, 2009, 09:07:40 PM
Happy Anniversary Jonn!!!

Thanks so much for your post. I never get tired of hearing folks thoughts and experiences here and how much it means to all of us.

Thanks for sharing with us. And yes I know we all "get" it!!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: lovelyamazing on September 02, 2009, 01:30:57 AM

I hope this makes some sense,

Nor only does it make sense, it's joy reading your words. You are VERY good with words contrary to what you think.

"Love knows no boundaries, it's the same need no matter what country you live in, what government you have, what culture or religious practices, or politics you adhere to, love simply is.......................

For me, Love is never wrong, and should never be wrong, no matter what combination or form it takes..........."


Thank you for these words of truth and wisdom and for your post. And thank you for being part of this family.
 :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on September 02, 2009, 11:34:19 AM

I hope this makes some sense, I'm not all that good at expressing my emotions in words, but I have tried...............I LOVE you all, each one..........be true to yourselves, just BE yourselves, not what someone else, or society tells you to be..............follow your heart.................follow your heart.............

sincerely,
Jonn

Jonn, what a beautiful, wonderful post!!!

It all makes so much sense, and it all rings so true.

Thank you for recapitulating and sharing it.

And Happy Anniversary!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on September 02, 2009, 06:59:30 PM
Jonn... :-*

Your post was PERFECT....hard to express?...you have no idea how talented you are when it comes to "expressing" your thoughts into words.

How many times I have laughed OUT LOUD at your silliness....your serious side warms my heart. I am truly grateful to have gotten the chance to be your friend. You are one of the most sweetest and sincere guys I have ever met in my life...who isn't afraid to voice and ask....I treasure people like you..

love ya  ;)

Nellie...xo
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on September 03, 2009, 04:22:29 AM
thanks to all of you for the words of appreciation and acknowledgment, means a lot to me, it's sometimes hard to translate our feelings and emotions into words, at least for me it is.................so thanks for getting it............. :) :) :)

Thank you for that beautiful post ((((((((((((Jonn))))))))))
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on September 03, 2009, 02:15:43 PM
Thanks ALL, for your words of understanding and support, means a LOT to me right now, at this point in my life.............. :) :) :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on September 03, 2009, 03:37:23 PM
You are very welcome, Jonn.  I am glad we are all here for each other.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ChrisW on September 05, 2009, 04:43:35 PM
Jonn - just catching up and read your post in TDS, it really warms my heart. I could wish I had your eloquence, you express yourself beautifully here and (having read lots of your previous posts) I think this is nothing new. I don't very often write from the heart but I know this forum has helped me to do it on occasion. In fact - how did I survive without the forum. I am sooo much less confused, I think!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jonn)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) :-* - lots of love to you x
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on September 05, 2009, 10:00:19 PM
Ah, thank you Montezumae for those kind words, now you have 'warmed my heart'............it just reminds me that we never know who, or how we may touch another person, but I believe we are all connected and can affect the lives and hearts of others, even when we doubt our abilities and contributions........thanks for your honesty and sweetness...............Jonn
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on October 06, 2009, 02:16:25 PM
Thanks ALL, for your words of understanding and support, means a LOT to me right now, at this point in my life.............. :) :) :)

You wrote a beautiful post, John. Many thanks for being here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on October 08, 2009, 12:38:28 PM
Thanks Dahlia! So many have been supportive AND attentive to me during my job loss and search, they have no idea how MUCH they mean to me right now. I'm still in the job search mode, as are millions of others, so it helps to know there are people who care enough to listen to my troubles, offer encouragement and warm thoughts..... :).....I only hope I can return the favor to all of them someday!  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: mcnell1120 on October 13, 2009, 05:04:24 PM
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* JONN
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on October 14, 2009, 03:27:48 PM




Just like this.

Always
.







(http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t172/ingmarnicebbmt/OldiesButGoldies/110043_brokeback_mountain_bafta.jpg)



50'000 times

tenderness melancholy joy

food for thought

J & E

friendship and love





(http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t172/ingmarnicebbmt/August2009/t2009-August531.jpg)







MERCI.






(http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t172/ingmarnicebbmt/August2009/t2009-August484.jpg)





Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 15, 2009, 01:48:49 AM
Another thank you from my heart for being here
for all of those 50 000 posts
and all that you mean to this forum.

Love Love Love!!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Ingmar))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) !!

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on October 15, 2009, 05:03:02 AM

Mia!! Special friend!  :-* :-* :-*

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on October 15, 2009, 07:47:48 AM
Mia!! Special friend!  :-* :-* :-*


That is a beautiful pic of you and Mr. S.................just beautiful.............wishing all the best that life has to offer, for both of you............thanks for sharing!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: atruant on October 15, 2009, 07:52:35 AM
Great to see you and Sylvain, Ingy!!

Congratulations on 50 grand, and all the best from Chuck and me. :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on October 15, 2009, 08:29:34 AM

(((Jonn)))

(((John & Chuck)))

Thank you for your great feedback!

Yeah the pic is really nice and quite recent, was taken around Aug 25 or so...

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on October 15, 2009, 06:36:31 PM
Thank you and congratulations again on 50,000

sweet friend ((((((((((((((((((Ingmar)))))))))))))))))))) !!!

For all you contribute to us here, and for all you do to make this the truly special place that it is.

From the bottom of my heart,

Much much love!!!

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

What a beautiful portrait of you both! 

(((((((((Ing & S)))))))))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on October 16, 2009, 02:10:55 AM

((((((((((((Sue))))))))))))))))

Merci for all your sweet words!

 :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: chapeaugris on October 16, 2009, 02:54:47 AM
Ing, say merci to Mr S for "supporting" your obsession.   :D


(Il est très mignon entouré de feuilles.)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on October 16, 2009, 11:44:04 PM
having bumped into this, i thought i would save the effort of typing pretty much the same thing. 

except it is now FOUR years here, 26 years sober, and in a matter of days, 66 years on the planet.

i still value this experience beyond measure, even as my life enters new horizons and new challenges.  i am better prepared for both having been here.

jack


okay, i haven't entirely gone silent or gone away, but i have opted to not keep interjecting myself into threads in which i have long since had my say.  usually, if someone says something that strikes a chord in me, i just send a PM and support others that way.

i have been posting in this forum since december 26 '05, and before that in dave's salon blog BBM comments thread (and what a story that is).  in fact, october  30th will mark my 2 year anniversary of entering this conversation.  through all of the ups and downs, disappointments and disagreements, threats and hugs, i am still here, more subdued perhaps. but here.

my 24 year experience of a recovery from alcoholism, and by extention, madness;  gave me a pretty good idea of what people might be feeling and needing when they got to this forum.  to be sure much of the allure was the horse race of awards season, and/or the hunkitude of the lead actors, but something much more was afoot.  somehow, this story, and far more so this film, triggered a mass reaction in those of us with broken souls, including many of us who didn't even realize we were broken.  for myself, for all of the great distance i had travelled emotionally in sobriety, a sad resignation had become my refuge.  i had made a commitment to take my "revenge" on society at large, by living my remaining years as comfortably, in spite of my financial and social status, as i could possibly manage, and accept the solitude amongst nonexistent peers with as much grace and gratitude as i could muster.

in this forum, i found the gay family i had never, in all those years, through all that sturm and drang, seemed to acquire.  of straight friends or womenfolk i had no shortage of intimates, but i felt a great deal like that mastodon in that "ïce age" movie, the last of my kind.  while i only had a couple of brief exploratory flirtations here that fizzled quite quickly, i have made friends, both gay and straight, male and female, enough to last a lifetime.  best of all, many of them are, like me, gay men "of a certain age", others younger and older, but all searching.  i have never felt more a part of something in my life, even in AA.

here's my salute to my friends, and my love to those wonderful peers.  and here's to those just arriving, especially those far flung men just now creeping out of their rural or not-so-rural closets.  come out, come out, the weather may be turbulent, but the fresh air is beyond invigorating.

love,

jack   
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 17, 2009, 02:58:05 AM
Thank you Jack for posting and reposting, for sharing your experiences and emotions.

Congrats on your 26, 66 and the FOUR years!!!!

Thank you for being here.
 :-*


Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on October 17, 2009, 08:49:52 AM
not only has it made me love the film even more (and i didn't think that was possible)

i have made such great friends and even though most of them live thousands of miles away i feel they understand me and i can talk to them about anything and that means more to me then anything, and i hope we are all friends for many years to come, so thank you dave cullen forum and brokeback mountain for giving me so many new friends
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on October 17, 2009, 10:39:20 AM
Ing, say merci to Mr S for "supporting" your obsession.   :D
(Il est très mignon entouré de feuilles.)

Il est très mignon en effet, and he's used to supporting my obsessions.

But I can agree to give him another hug.

Hey Kim - long time no see (nor speak)...  ;)

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 18, 2009, 03:31:12 AM
not only has it made me love the film even more (and i didn't think that was possible)

i have made such great friends and even though most of them live thousands of miles away i feel they understand me and i can talk to them about anything and that means more to me then anything, and i hope we are all friends for many years to come, so thank you dave cullen forum and brokeback mountain for giving me so many new friends

What a sweet post ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Marz))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) !!

Here's to the wonderful forum friendships that will last!!!!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Forum friends)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) !!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 03:48:26 AM
As it’s my Paper Anniversary today  :D  I guess I’d better say what I think about being on the Forum—just to set the record straight. I must admit, however, that I feel a bit silly doing this, me being one not known to emote at the drop of a hat, so to speak.

Over the past twelve months I’ve participated in stimulating intellectual discussions wherein obscure and not so obscure textual references in Annie Proulx’s short story have been analysed, dissected, interpreted, debated, evaluated and treasured on the one hand and cast aside, ignored, misinterpreted, dismissed and quarrelled over on the other, all in order to determine what, if anything, her story “means;” some exchanges were made with implied gritted teeth and clenched jaws, or even keyboard thumpings; some were made in a mood of silliness, conviviality and whimsicality; others were soberly thoughtful and patiently and calmly forceful.

Along the way moderators offered encouragement, support, approval and praise on the one hand and rebukes for straying off-topic, for being silly, for using a thread for inappropriate discussion (or personal chit-chat) and, in my case, for using specious and/or flawed reasoning and appearing to be a Devil’s advocate on the other.

PMs I received from others (and some Mods) informed me, variously, that I had something valuable to contribute, that my opinions and points of view were fresh, insightful and welcomed; that my ideas were unsupportable, that my approach was tiresome and that my opinions and points of view were irrelevant as they differed from those of people who had already worked out what the esoteric details contained in AP’s story “meant” and that there was no point in attempting to undermine an interpretative structure which had been set in concrete. (I disregarded that and took to it with a pick axe, being prone not to take “No” for an answer.)

In other words, I was an unwelcome trouble-maker, a pot stirrer and a boat rocker; and I was welcomed as a new forum member with something valuable to contribute and whose ideas were stimulating and thought-provoking.

So, I’ve received both brickbats and bouquets, and all because I joined this bloody Forum—but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

I suppose I’ve really been lucky to survive (relatively unscathed, that is) the maelstrom that's DCF.   ::) ::) ::)

Why did I join (especially as I’d never joined an online forum before, and had always kept well away from such a thing)? It was all very strange at first, all those avatars, people who were “talking” to each other using non-avator given names (I assumed); people whose symbol indicated they were female but had pix of men (found out along the way it was the same man) as an avatar—very confusing; and doubly confusing when genders weren’t indicated at all. It really seemed like a closed shop, or even some weird cult. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, so in I hopped, and enrolled. Why? It was because of the film. (Although I vaguely recall reading the story online somewhere or other some time before, I remembered only its general thrust, and only after I joined DCF did I buy Close Range and Story to Screenplay.)

I didn’t see the movie on its first release in Australia, and purchased the DVD only last year (have watched it twice so far; why? too gruelling for frequent viewing and/or I’m not a masochist and/or I value my “precious bodily fluids” as General Ripper would say [make of that what you will, but I’m actually referring to uncontrollable and copious ocular discharge  ;D ;D ;D ] and/or I don’t want to become desensitised), but was so intrigued by the film and all the “hoopla” surrounding it that I wanted to see what the fuss was all about ... and then I discovered this place.

It wasn’t because my life was changed by either the book or the film (as far as I know, although being a member has wrought some changes—certainly regarding an increased circle of acqaintances I’ve “met” (albeit electronically, and some in closer proximity than others), which includes Billysgirl, Brianr, Bob, Charlotte, Chuck, Dal, dejavu, Desecra, Ellen, fia, Fritz, Gary, Ingmar, Jess, Jimmy, Jo (now departed, and missed), Linda (killersmom), Marian (gone, but not forgotten), Mark, Marz, Mia, Mike, Nancy, Neil, Nikki, Sal, Sandy, Sara, Sherry, Sonja, Stan, Steve, Sue, Suelyblu, Tony and Yvette (hope I haven’t missed anyone, and that I haven’t trodden on anyone’s toes by using given names in most cases), all but one, as far as I know, on the other side of the world—and certainly as regards my sleeping pattern, which seems, at times, to have encroached into the hours of daylight.

Nevertheless, I was impressed by the passionate discourse which was running wild at the time so went straight to S&I as my first "port of call”—a place in which I could take my wits for a walk. (It has, by now, probably been S&I’d out, which is a pity—have the S&I explorers reached bedrock? Has it been strip-mined down to its granite base? Maybe.) This was followed by forays into TOTW when I was sufficiently motivated to add my 2¢ worth of input (which sometimes crashed to zero ¢ or shot up to £2 (or even £AU 89/10/- ) and felt “up to it.” The Relationship thread... ditto. Photo Captioning Fun: Great larks to be had there, and it’s enjoyably addictive.

But I’ve wondered, at times, why there doesn’t appear to be many Aussie DCF members.

Heath Ledger was an Australian, and while he performed in an American film based on a short story by an American author, not many Australians have joined DCF, as far as I’m aware. I don’t understand that. Perhaps it’s an innate cultural difference between those who live in the northern hemisphere and those who live “downunder,” but it’s an intriguing issue. Maybe we’re less prone to open up our hearts, or feel that our private lives are our own business, or hide things beneath a laconic, laid-back approach or a dry, ironic façade. Or maybe Australians aren’t interested because they’re too busy getting on with their own lives, rather than talking about them via a public internet forum ... or maybe it’s because we’re all just molluscs living on a great big-isolated-island-continent surrounded by dangerous wide oceans, fearful of strange fish which may bite, or we haven’t got internet connections anyway. I don’t know, but I would have thought there’d be more of us here.

I don’t know whether it’s true or not but Number 96, the controversial Australian television soap opera which was broadcast for seven years, from 1972 to 1977, and which had both a multiracial cast and frequent sex and nudity scenes, has been touted as the first prime time TV show to feature a long-running openly gay male relationship, and one which drew no particular interest from any of the show's other characters, as they were seen as “normal people fully accepted and integrated into their community.”

A Sydney-based production, it was also broadcast on channel ATV-O in Melbourne, my home town, with the warning that “Number 96 is an adult program and the realism at times may shock you.” I don’t know whether that was due to intercity rivalry or whether Melbournians were deemed to be too sensitive for Sydney’s up-front attitudes.

The Program Manager at Sydney’s Channel Ten at the time stipulated that the series had to be set in a tight-knit community of some sort. “Sexuality and other previously taboo subjects were part of the brief,” he said. “It had to have dramatic impact in breaking new ground, not in violent situations but in sexual situations which we believed were handled fairly puritanically here, as they were in America.” (My italics.) Well, he got what he wanted, and the series became history...

Here’s a short [0:44] clip NSFW (and from a 1974 episode!)
Don’t worry about the poor audio, the Strine accent or the 70s hairstyles...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSkfI0snxjU

So I really don’t understand why there are so few Aussies in DCF, considering the above...

As I said above my life hasn’t been changed because of BBM (in the way that some members’ lives seem to’ve been changed, and clearly for the better; the support that members give to each other about all sorts of things here is immeasurable). Perhaps I’ve been fortunate in that I haven’t really had to cope with some of the traumatic experiences some have undergone, although there have been instances in my past which may approximate some of those, but which I’ve been able to both survive, maintaining my sense of self, and then move on...

Anyway, I have no regrets about joining the DCF community, and I’ve enjoyed my contact and communication with other members (apart from the “sex and carnage” and internecine wrangling that sometimes occurred), who really are a lovely bunch.
(No floral symbolism—stems and/or blooms—implied.  ;D )

They’re intelligent, sincere, supportive, caring, flexible, dogmatic, loose cannons, sensitive, cool, warm, passionate, dispassionate, close, remote, authoritative, easy going, friendly, aggressive, polite, gentle, brusque, affectionate, oblique, complimentary, welcoming, frivolous, serious, bossy, flirtatious ... Or am I thinking of some other group?  Nope, that just about sums up the DCF.  A bit like real life, actually.   :)  :)  :)

Enough waffle from me.

- Paul

ps I trust no offence has been taken with some of the above stuff (none was intended).


___________
E&OE  ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 18, 2009, 06:03:14 AM
What a wonderful, openhearted and very special post!

Happy paper anniversary!

Thank you for this post - I had some trouble understanding some of your expressions but I think I got most of it (Stupid language barriers...)!

Thanks for the link. My, you guys were early.... 1974....

The first gay kiss in a soap opera here in Sweden was as late as 1996. (After a minute of Swedish talk in the vid....)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1dl5b6ECks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1dl5b6ECks)


Thank you so much for your post. What you say awakes many thoughts for me....

And thank you so much for being here

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Paul)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) !!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on October 18, 2009, 06:09:47 AM
Congratulations on your "Paper Anniversary," Paul.

(http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k189/skinnjes/SmileyFace.jpg)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marz on October 18, 2009, 07:44:57 AM
thanks for that amazing and informative post paul and thanks for the mention :)
happy paper anniversary
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 09:19:01 AM
What a wonderful, openhearted and very special post!

Happy paper anniversary!

Thank you for this post - I had some trouble understanding some of your expressions but I think I got most of it (Stupid language barriers...)!

Thanks for the link. My, you guys were early.... 1974....

The first gay kiss in a soap opera here in Sweden was as late as 1996. (After a minute of Swedish talk in the vid....)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1dl5b6ECks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1dl5b6ECks)


Thank you so much for your post. What you say awakes many thoughts for me....

And thank you so much for being here

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Paul)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) !!

Thank you, Mia—very much.
It took a while to get it all down, but it’s pretty much a fair summation of what I’ve appreciated/endured/enjoyed/disliked/tolerated/undergone/loved here on DCF these past twelve months.  8) 8) 8)

Open hearted? I was trying to not let that happen. Drat!  ::) ::) ::)

I watched your linked video clip and noticed that one of the boys had to remove his fake vampire fangs before “the kiss.” A nice touch, I thought, me being me.  :D :D :D

Why was it only in 1996? I would have thought Sweden would have been far ahead of Australia in such things.
- Paul

PS You may PM me for clarification of any and all unclear meanings. I was going to ask whether “copious ocular discharge” was one of them, but it sounds really rude in isolation—so I won’t.  ;) ;) ;)
PPS What does (((((((   )))))) mean, please?


Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 09:23:29 AM
Congratulations on your "Paper Anniversary," Paul.

(http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k189/skinnjes/SmileyFace.jpg)
That's really sweet, Jess. Thank you.  :) :) :)

Your congratulatory floral symbol is much appreciated, notwithstanding its lack of visible stems  ;D ; the happy face more than compensates.

Who would have believed I’d survive one entire year at this place?

Your wisdom has certainly helped me, as a newbie, to tippy-toe precariously along the razor’s edge, mindful of the traps and snares lying in wait for the unwary... and I’ve now learnt to wear stout tartan leather boots, too, in case I accidentally slip.  ;D

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 09:28:25 AM
thanks for that amazing and informative post paul and thanks for the mention :)
happy paper anniversary
Hi Marz,
Of course I mentioned you...
We do get along, after all.  :)
And thank you for reading my ramble.
- Paul

PS I could have been even more informative but tact prevailed  ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on October 18, 2009, 09:34:09 AM
Excellent anniversary post, dear (((((Paul)))))      (They are HUGS - if you spent time in the Diner you would soon amass plenty of them :D)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 09:50:14 AM
Excellent anniversary post, dear (((((Paul)))))      (They are HUGS - if you spent time in the Diner you would soon amass plenty of them :D)
Oh, dear Sara,
Thanks for the congrats, and the explanation.
I could have worked it out by myself, I suppose but, as I thought it was something to do with a cult, I refrained—until one of "them things" was directed at me.  ;D
So—you gave me only a little five-armed hug? Have I been a bad boy?
Mia's had thirty-four arms!  ???
 :) :) :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on October 18, 2009, 09:56:10 AM
*Picturing Paul counting arms*  - well, you do say 'little things interest me'.

But not to be outdone by Mia:

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Paul)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And don't tell me I've got odd numbers of arms :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 10:25:09 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Good God, Sara, have you turned into a "space alien" with octopus arms?  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I'm being squeezed to death! Help! Help! Anyone! Help!
* gasps, suffocates, etc etc *

PS "You leave Mia outta this. It ain't her fault!"  ;) ;) ;) ;)

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on October 18, 2009, 10:32:57 AM
"No way to get it right with him..."  :'(
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 11:07:43 AM
"No way to get it right with him..."  :'(
Oh, Sara!  :'( :'( :'(
I'm so sorry!

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[SARA!]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

There you are, a great big hug—with 50 rigid arms—from me!

You can be Elsa Lancaster and I'll be Boris Karloff!

Have just finished Christopher Bram's very moving Father of Frankenstein.

(Oops! Is this the right thread to mention that?)
[Why am I hugging that exclamation and question?]
(And why am I hugging this question as well?)
Nevermind.....

How about 50 hugs with elbows pointing out?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SARA!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on October 18, 2009, 11:10:51 AM
That's better :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 11:18:04 AM
Good!  :D
Now I must lay me down to sleep.
zzzzzz
oops, forgot:
(((((((((((zzzzzzz))))))))))

That's Perry giving me hugs.  ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: AZ.bbm on October 18, 2009, 11:56:01 AM
As it’s my Paper Anniversary today  :D
(...)

They’re intelligent, sincere, supportive, caring, flexible, dogmatic, loose cannons, sensitive, cool, warm, passionate, dispassionate, close, remote, authoritative, easy going, friendly, aggressive, polite, gentle, brusque, affectionate, oblique, complimentary, welcoming, frivolous, serious, bossy, flirtatious ...

- Wow, that's me, to a tee!!!   :D :D :D


All seriousness aside, Happy Paper Anniversary!!!


And Fido sends his love, too!

(http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt142/azbbm/dog_humping_leg.jpg)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 18, 2009, 12:22:50 PM
They’re intelligent, sincere, supportive, caring, flexible, dogmatic, loose cannons, sensitive, cool, warm, passionate, dispassionate, close, remote, authoritative, easy going, friendly, aggressive, polite, gentle, brusque, affectionate, oblique, complimentary, welcoming, frivolous, serious, bossy, flirtatious ...

- Wow, that's me, to a tee!!!   :D :D :D
My apologies. I accidentally omitted "modest!"  :D

All seriousness aside, Happy Paper Anniversary!!!
And Fido sends his love, too!

(http://i606.photobucket.com/albums/tt142/azbbm/dog_humping_leg.jpg)
Thanks, Stan—Fido and Perry should get along quite well—they could go romping across the greensward together, dragging what’s left of us along with them...   ;D

(http://i412.photobucket.com/albums/pp201/rasalgethi_photo/PERRY004.jpg)

Now I've gone from the What Book Are You Reading thread to the Pets thread.  ::)

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on October 18, 2009, 01:14:27 PM
funny you should get started on gay kisses.  just last night i was telling a friend i had found a video compilation of 100 gay kisses, and i could think of some not included.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot6VYUdDl0U

turns out there is more than one version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIjmBDHmzSs

i hadn't realized how far we have come since an implied gay kiss on melrose place was a scandal...
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 18, 2009, 01:20:49 PM
Oh, dear Sara,
Thanks for the congrats, and the explanation.
I could have worked it out by myself, I suppose but, as I thought it was something to do with a cult, I refrained—until one of "them things" was directed at me.  ;D
So—you gave me only a little five-armed hug? Have I been a bad boy?
Mia's had thirty-four arms!  ???
 :) :) :)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..............

Very funny!!!!!!!!

 :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

I have many smiles too.  ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on October 18, 2009, 02:33:46 PM
funny you should get started on gay kisses.  just last night i was telling a friend i had found a video compilation of 100 gay kisses, and i could think of some not included.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot6VYUdDl0U

turns out there is more than one version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIjmBDHmzSs

i hadn't realized how far we have come since an implied gay kiss on melrose place was a scandal...

Cinema Paradiso for us!

Thank you Jack! I was amazingly moved by this!

In the first one, does anyone know where the music is from? I think it might be Bill Conti's from North and South, but I'm not sure.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on October 19, 2009, 02:47:14 AM
i don't know, fritz, but you could ask the owner of the blog, he has been using it for years.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 19, 2009, 03:38:07 AM

I watched your linked video clip and noticed that one of the boys had to remove his fake vampire fangs before “the kiss.” A nice touch, I thought, me being me.  :D :D :D

Why was it only in 1996? I would have thought Sweden would have been far ahead of Australia in such things.
- Paul



I am not sure about being ahead of Australia in such things....

What was special with this kiss was that this was the first time it happened, the gay couple kissing, in a mainstream soap opera with a big number of people watching...

Think most people thought that was about time.

 :) :) :) :) :)






Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 19, 2009, 03:44:41 AM
funny you should get started on gay kisses.  just last night i was telling a friend i had found a video compilation of 100 gay kisses, and i could think of some not included.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot6VYUdDl0U

turns out there is more than one version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIjmBDHmzSs

i hadn't realized how far we have come since an implied gay kiss on melrose place was a scandal...

Thank you for the links, Jack!
 :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: AZ.bbm on October 19, 2009, 07:30:54 AM

My apologies. I accidentally omitted "modest!"  :D

.
-Hardly 'accidental'  ::)

 :D

Perry is just too cute.
;D

Now, come over and help me get the dog off of my leg......

;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 19, 2009, 12:07:13 PM
Happy Paper Anniversary Paul!

I really enjoyed reading your post, very open, honest, and well thought out!  Thank you for taking the time to post it here!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 21, 2009, 03:40:38 AM
Happy Paper Anniversary Paul!
Thank you, Chuck. A small milestone, but a long and relatively arduous journey with, however, frequent sojourns to alluring oases offering significant respite...   :)

Quote from: CellarDweller115
I really enjoyed reading your post, very open, honest, and well thought out! Thank you for taking the time to post it here!
Chuck, it was a pleasure. I wasn’t going to side-step the opportunity.  ;D

- Paul

PS I felt I should “down-date” my avatar, just in case some posses came a’hunting.   ;)
So far, so good...  ::)

PPS Oops. I've disappeared completely!
Never mind, try again.  :"> :">

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 21, 2009, 04:01:09 AM
I don’t think this is quite right...

(http://i412.photobucket.com/albums/pp201/rasalgethi_photo/PaulAnt.jpg)

Sorry, Sara.  ::)

Got it! *sighs*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on October 21, 2009, 07:14:19 AM
More hair, Paul? >:D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 21, 2009, 07:56:38 AM
More hair, Paul? >:D
Yes, Sara, you fiend.   :D :D :D

It comes and goes like the wind...

(depending on the decade  ;D ;D ;D)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Miaisland on October 21, 2009, 08:02:59 AM
Yes, Sara, you fiend.   :D :D :D

It comes and goes like the wind...

(depending on the decade  ;D ;D ;D)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

What about coming in to the Diner to see us, Paul?

I have a feeling you might like it there.




Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Paul029 on October 21, 2009, 09:21:31 AM
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
What about coming in to the Diner to see us, Paul?
Oh, dear me, Mia...

I've visited The Diner once — only recently — and was terrified!

People were being squeezed to death by brackets!!  :o :o :o

I thought I was visiting a "Den of Infamy."  ::) ::) ::)

Quote from: Miaisland
I have a feeling you might like it there.

Hmmm. Your offer is tempting, I must admit; and, if I decide in the affirmative, may I bring my riding crop?   :D :D :D

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on October 31, 2009, 04:33:11 PM
As it’s my Paper Anniversary today  :D  I guess I’d better say what I think about being on the Forum—just to set the record straight. I must admit, however, that I feel a bit silly doing this, me being one not known to emote at the drop of a hat, so to speak.


Paul, I'm behind in this thread and haven't read your post until now.

Happy Anniversary!!!!


And, that was some post!!!    :o ;)

I imagine it took you some time to get it all down, but thank you for doing so. I loved reading it, I found it very ----- you....  ;D  ;)


And what more, I found it all very coherent and understandable!!!   ;D ;D ;D :-*

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on October 31, 2009, 04:36:29 PM
funny you should get started on gay kisses.  just last night i was telling a friend i had found a video compilation of 100 gay kisses, and i could think of some not included.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot6VYUdDl0U

turns out there is more than one version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIjmBDHmzSs

i hadn't realized how far we have come since an implied gay kiss on melrose place was a scandal...


Thanks for those links Jack, most enjoyable.

I noticed our boys were among the first clips in the first link.  Anything else would of course have been scandalous!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: chuckyv on November 03, 2009, 12:15:18 AM
Today is three years since I first saw the film. That film & short story are a part of me, and will be until the end of my life. I am so grateful about that. The story & the film have both been life-enriching experiences. I can't explain it, but after seeing the film, it sort of put me in a good mood for weeks after ,and I tend to think of myself as a happy person in general, anyway.

Living in a small town where there is still so much suspicion, small-mindedness and sometimes outright hostility, just the act of putting on the DVD seems like a little gesture of defiance. In this town if you are over the age of 25 and unmarried,there has to be something wrong with you. And you know what? It really does not matter what people think.  It has taken time, years, but I like being me. And I feel that I must credit this masterpiece of a film with helping in a small way, in making me feel more comfortable in my own skin. I am going to sit down right now and revisit my favourite film. Thanks to all who were behind the story and the film,and thanks too to all of you on the forum, it is gratifying to know that people are out there listening. People who I just know would understand.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Oregondoggie on November 03, 2009, 12:32:21 AM
Charles,

Many of us treasure the hand-written copies of Brokeback Mountain we were lucky enough to receive from you.  Sending up a prayer of thanks again!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on November 03, 2009, 04:22:20 AM
Happy Anniversary ChuckyV!

I'm glad you are feeling comfortable in your own skin....that's a huge accomplishment.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: atruant on November 03, 2009, 04:24:27 PM
Today is three years since I first saw the film. That film & short story are a part of me, and will be until the end of my life. I am so grateful about that. The story & the film have both been life-enriching experiences. I can't explain it, but after seeing the film, it sort of put me in a good mood for weeks after ,and I tend to think of myself as a happy person in general, anyway.

Living in a small town where there is still so much suspicion, small-mindedness and sometimes outright hostility, just the act of putting on the DVD seems like a little gesture of defiance. In this town if you are over the age of 25 and unmarried,there has to be something wrong with you. And you know what? It really does not matter what people think.  It has taken time, years, but I like being me. And I feel that I must credit this masterpiece of a film with helping in a small way, in making me feel more comfortable in my own skin. I am going to sit down right now and revisit my favourite film. Thanks to all who were behind the story and the film,and thanks too to all of you on the forum, it is gratifying to know that people are out there listening. People who I just know would understand.

Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on November 04, 2009, 02:03:27 PM
Charles,

Many of us treasure the hand-written copies of Brokeback Mountain we were lucky enough to receive from you.  Sending up a prayer of thanks again!

what he said ^^
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BayCityJohn on November 04, 2009, 02:18:09 PM
Charles,

Many of us treasure the hand-written copies of Brokeback Mountain we were lucky enough to receive from you.  Sending up a prayer of thanks again!

what he said ^^

What they said ^^^
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BthovenRox on November 09, 2009, 05:12:28 PM
Today is three years since I first saw the film. That film & short story are a part of me, and will be until the end of my life. I am so grateful about that. The story & the film have both been life-enriching experiences. I can't explain it, but after seeing the film, it sort of put me in a good mood for weeks after ,and I tend to think of myself as a happy person in general, anyway.

Living in a small town where there is still so much suspicion, small-mindedness and sometimes outright hostility, just the act of putting on the DVD seems like a little gesture of defiance. In this town if you are over the age of 25 and unmarried,there has to be something wrong with you. And you know what? It really does not matter what people think.  It has taken time, years, but I like being me. And I feel that I must credit this masterpiece of a film with helping in a small way, in making me feel more comfortable in my own skin. I am going to sit down right now and revisit my favourite film. Thanks to all who were behind the story and the film,and thanks too to all of you on the forum, it is gratifying to know that people are out there listening. People who I just know would understand.

Thanks for this post...
  sounds familiar.... and is very soothing at the same time.  Happy Anniversary!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: chuckyv on November 10, 2009, 05:10:27 AM
Thank you all for  the kind words. It is amazing ,the power of words,from people I have not met,yet feel that I do know in some way. Very comforting.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on November 10, 2009, 03:52:49 PM
Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing.

What he and everyone else said... 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on March 16, 2010, 12:46:08 PM
Well, DCF is affecting me this past weekend.

Because of my membership here, I attended the BBQ in Colorado, where I met a number of the BetterMost members.  I joined BetterMost to stay in touch with them, and became friends with Rich (LoneLeeB3) who later "adopted me" as his younger brother.

Rich was just coming out, and worried about how his life would change.

I'm typing this message from his house, which he shares with his partner, Gene.  Things turned out OK for him.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dejavu on March 16, 2010, 02:02:56 PM
You've made such a lot of friends as a result of DCF, Chuck.   :)

Looks like Rich has had some big changes in his life, too, helped along by the forums.

It's good to hear he and Gene are doing OK.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on March 16, 2010, 04:26:00 PM
Yay for Rich and Gene!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on March 19, 2010, 05:22:07 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What they said! 

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fofol on March 23, 2010, 07:54:32 AM
Looking forward to seeing you this weekend, Debbie, Chuck - ought a be a good time!  Brokeback has gotten me out of the house and out of state more in the last year than in the last ten.  that's a good thing.  8)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: passthepickles on January 27, 2011, 08:47:55 PM
Hey, so I just joined this forum and well... It's affected me in a good way! I now have a bunch of Brokeback peeps to talk to and don't have someone from school or from my family on here saying 'You're friggen retarded. Grow up.' Or 'Ew, that movie?'
I'm just glad to have people who feel the same. I already feel nice and supported here and it's only been like... three days! :)
It's also nice to be on a site with a bunch of gay-activists and all that, since I don't get the support I think I need here in Vegas from school or home.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on February 01, 2011, 02:39:53 PM
Glad you found the forum, PTP!

Yes, being here with likeminded people is a good thing.
It saved my sanity for sure when I found it after seeing BBM the first time.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on October 18, 2011, 07:15:47 AM
Not totally on topic - but I just need to express how good it is to come back to the order and sanity(?) of the Forum after trying to make sense of the frustrating chaos of Facebook.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: dahlia on October 18, 2011, 08:02:49 AM
LOL Sara!

Yes this is a warm tidy place.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on October 18, 2011, 12:08:57 PM
Facebook can't hold a candle to this place.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: suelyblu on October 18, 2011, 02:49:09 PM
I go on holiday to fabulous places all over the world for weeks at a time.....but I can never  wait to come back *here *  .....and talk to my **family** . I do have a lovely home of my own......but this Forum is another extension of it to me. Love my home....love my Forum ! :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on October 18, 2011, 06:27:47 PM
Facebook can't hold a candle to this place.

agreed, Sara, Daniela, and Jess.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on October 18, 2011, 06:28:20 PM
I go on holiday to fabulous places all over the world for weeks at a time.....but I can never  wait to come back *here *  .....and talk to my **family** . I do have a lovely home of my own......but this Forum is another extension of it to me. Love my home....love my Forum ! :-*

I couldn't have said it better myself, Sue!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on October 18, 2011, 07:52:32 PM
Totally agree with all of the above!! :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on August 20, 2012, 11:12:04 AM
This month marks my 5th year here! Hard to believe, but true. I have met so many people through this forum. Some I still chat with from time to time, others have moved on in their lives, and, sadly some have passed on from this earthly Life. Their passing only reinforces my belief that we should live each day to the fullest that we can, to cherish those friendships we make along our way, and most of all, to try and make a difference in someone else's day, or Life........

I thank Dave Cullen and all those who were/are responsible for setting up this forum, and maintaining it. I know it has been a life-changer for many people. I don't visit here as often as I did, or post as much either, but it always brings a smile to my face and warms my heart to read posts from the members. I hope it continues for many years to come.

Jonn
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on August 20, 2012, 12:50:29 PM
Glad that your here, Jonn!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on August 20, 2012, 03:11:39 PM
Geaux Jonn!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on August 22, 2012, 01:27:47 PM
Happy brokieversay, Jonn!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: MaineGirl on November 15, 2012, 07:40:59 PM
(((((Jonn))))) !
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: B.W. on July 07, 2013, 03:48:54 PM
Quote
5.  I found a local MCC church, the Gentle Shepherd, and have a new family of friends there.  Knowing them led me to Patience Huntwork who, when I so Ennis-like decided I couldn't, insisted that I had to go ahead and write an OP-ED piece for my local paper (circulation 188,000) and come out as a Gay Mormon and call the Church to repentance for their horrible treatment of Gays.  Activism and my little MCC church go together, so I am on an Arizona-wide Would Jesus Discriminate? Campaign Committee...we successfully convinced the National MCC HQ to adopt it as their 40th Anniversary Project for 2008...and we're kicking it off at the SUPER BOWL right here in Glendale, Arizona.



Quote
.  Equality Arizona asked me to be their featured guest on Talk Radio AM 1480 in Phoenix tomorrow morning as they discuss Mormonism and the gay community.

Where would I be without the Forum?  Well, I have an inkling.  A gay Mormon man came out a year ahead of me on the other side of the Valley.  He didn't have the Forum, so he said he immediately began going to gay bars and trying to find his place in the world.  He has had a lot of heartache, and still is kinda lost.  So, I believe I know what it would have been like...not good...not nearly what I have had with all my friends here.

Thanx! Dave Cullen...words cannot express....

Bobby

P.S. Yes, I know...this post is all me, me, me.  I prefer to believe that every one of the things I've noted is much more about others.  I acknowledge the help I've received, and because of that and my basic instincts, I'm just trying to use whatever notoriety I might have at the present to reach out to others...to help them lose weight, to help them get a better shake from their churches, to help my fellow gay Mormons in their struggle with our church.  I learned a long time ago...somebody has to do the hard stuff...and often that somebody is me.  However, without the support I've found here, I'd be a quivering mess somewhere in a dark room.  I love each and every one of you and want only the best for us all.



You are a gay Latter-day Saint attending a MCC church? Interesting.  There is a support group for LGBT Mormon individuals and same-sex couples entitled AFFIRMATION: Gay and Lesbian Mormons.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 13, 2013, 08:42:57 PM
In 73 days, I'll be marking my 8th anniversary of seeing Brokeback, and coming here and becoming a Brokie.

;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on October 15, 2013, 06:22:11 AM
now that you mention it, it will be two weeks for me for the same.  from dave's original salon(?) comment thread.  i made my first comment the day after my 62nd birthday.  nothing would have predicted much of the rest of my life.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 16, 2013, 04:13:23 AM
now that you mention it, it will be two weeks for me for the same.  from dave's original salon(?) comment thread.  i made my first comment the day after my 62nd birthday.  nothing would have predicted much of the rest of my life.

I remember the discussion about Dave's Salon thread, but I never saw it.  I only heard about it on here after the fact.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on October 16, 2013, 04:00:06 PM
I remember the discussion about Dave's Salon thread, but I never saw it.  I only heard about it on here after the fact.

I was never a member, but read all the posts. The Salon thread was one of the things that got me interested in the movie besides the postcards advertising it when I ordered movies from Wolfe Video and TLA Video, and then moved from the Salon blog to the Forum. And as they say.......the rest is history!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 16, 2013, 04:19:10 PM
8 years.....damn!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: suelyblu on October 16, 2013, 04:46:58 PM
In 73 days, I'll be marking my 8th anniversary of seeing Brokeback, and coming here and becoming a Brokie.
                                                                                                 *********************************
;D

And thank God you did Chuck.  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 16, 2013, 04:49:30 PM
awww, aren't you sweet!  ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on October 16, 2013, 05:37:08 PM
I just realized it is 73 days and 6 hours for me as well!! :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on October 19, 2013, 04:49:16 AM
which makes my acquaintance with you two and the other pioneers right up there with my most enduring relationships.  in truth, only my relationships to my now former AA sponsees has more duration.  i am friends with only one person with whom i went to high school, and that relationship was reignited within the past year.  i never stayed in one place long enough to place deep roots or enduring friendships.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on October 19, 2013, 11:55:44 AM
So true, Jack. The friendships I have made here are my most enduring, most important friendships I have ever had. Seeing the continuing friendships through pictures and posts always make me smile, and reminds me how lucky we all are that we have come together through the love of this movie, whether it be here, or other forums. It makes me realize that none of us would know one another, be able to share our lives, and would not have each other to share the good and help support us through the bad! How terrible that would be? We are all very blessed! ♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on October 19, 2013, 01:37:42 PM
Indeed, Linda!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 19, 2013, 05:32:05 PM
Reminds me of Jimmy's quote.  It started as "Brokeback - the movie" and became "Brokeback - the people".
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on October 19, 2013, 08:00:55 PM
I missed that one, that's great!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: powercarol on November 05, 2013, 04:49:11 AM
Good evening everyone. Hope this finds you well. Couple of years ago I read one beautiful story that really pulled my heart string and in fact his story was published as the
'Grand Finale' of Beyond Brokeback book.

He met his lover when he was 17 in prison and they have met each other a couple of times over the next 50 years (I think) until his lover died. His lover left him a letter by which his wife passed the letter to him and that letter really made me tear up.

Can anyone please point me to the right direction where his original story was?

That will be great.

Thank you.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BlueJeanJeannie on November 05, 2013, 08:00:02 AM
Hi Carol,

I've sent you a private message.

Love,
Sonja  ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on September 08, 2014, 12:02:19 PM
I can't remember WHERE we post our anniversary notes, here or somewhere else.......but I can say I have met some of the most warn, sincere and interesting people through my time in DCF.....can't believe it!!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on September 08, 2014, 03:13:11 PM
Congratulations on your 7 year annivoisary, Jonn dawlin hawt!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on September 08, 2014, 04:00:25 PM
Congrats, Jon!  Love you, Man!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on September 08, 2014, 04:06:05 PM
Congrats Jonn!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on September 08, 2014, 06:19:23 PM
Such SWEEEEEEEET guys!!! thanks!  :o :o :o
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on September 08, 2014, 09:59:59 PM
Day late and a dollar short, as usual!! Happy Anniversary Jonn!!!

(http://i998.photobucket.com/albums/af110/tootsiemom/smilie/cowboynite.gif) (http://s998.photobucket.com/user/tootsiemom/media/smilie/cowboynite.gif.html)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: B.W. on November 08, 2014, 11:53:05 AM
I cannot say that "The Ultimate Brokeback Forum" has had a huge impact on my life, but I can see that it has had a positive impact on many other people here and has even helped create a few new friendships amongst numerous longtime forum members.  Who says that films can't bring people together?
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on December 15, 2014, 09:02:59 AM
I have met people from all over the world, travelled over 230,000 miles, as a consequence of what happened here.

I went to Texas from the UK for a weekend BBQ (LOL!) on the weekend that the "planes stopped" - (Telling Dallas Airport immigration that I had travelled 4000 miles for a weekend BBQ, with people from the internet that I only kinda knew on the weekend of a major terrorist plot, was one of those unforgettable "this doesn't sound good" moments) - because of here.

I have travelled to many other places because of here

I also met someone here, who is my soul mate and continues to take my breath away, nearly 9 years ago (Shit damn! as he would say)

There are people here I still communicate with almost daily after those 9 years.

So yes a profound change for me. No regrets and no more beans!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on December 15, 2014, 10:49:27 AM
and I'm glad you're one of the people I've met, Nick!  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: suelyblu on December 15, 2014, 01:01:12 PM
Wonderful to read your story Nick.
From England to Texas......for a w/e Brokie BBQ ? :o
Thats what I call dedication and devotion  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 15, 2014, 01:17:39 PM
I, too, am so lucky and so grateful you are one of the people I have met, Nick! I am doubly glad you braved all the mess that weekend to come to the BBQ. It would not have been the same without you and Rob!!  ♥♥♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on December 15, 2014, 02:13:21 PM
Amen to that! I've met so many good friends here, in real life as well as (so far) just online.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on December 15, 2014, 02:13:50 PM
I, too, am so lucky and so grateful you are one of the people I have met, Nick! I am doubly glad you braved all the mess that weekend to come to the BBQ. It would not have been the same without you and Rob!!  ♥♥♥

That's for sure! Looking forward to seeing him between the holidays!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on December 16, 2014, 06:09:09 AM
and I'm glad you're one of the people I've met, Nick!  :)

:*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on December 16, 2014, 06:10:08 AM
I, too, am so lucky and so grateful you are one of the people I have met, Nick! I am doubly glad you braved all the mess that weekend to come to the BBQ. It would not have been the same without you and Rob!!  ♥♥♥

:*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on December 16, 2014, 06:12:04 AM
That's for sure! Looking forward to seeing him between the holidays!



Just wishing I could afford to get there this year Fritz, it has been many years since I have not been to Washington State around Christmas time, but the money pit (house) needed work this year.

Ho hum
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on December 16, 2014, 05:21:08 PM
I wish you could be there too, Nick.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on December 30, 2014, 12:06:47 AM
is just anyone allowed to this sobfest?  i completely forgot to acknowledge the opening of the forum, a fairly pivotal event in my life too, supplying me with some of the dearest friends of my life, and most of my gay male peers currently.  you all know who you are, even the honorary gay men who have different plumbing.  you have all seen me through many adventures, more than a few fumbles, nearly a dozen moves, 3 states, and finally (or not) a significant other here in hawaii.  i have finally had one of us as a guest, and i am soon to have another, perhaps more than one at a time.  i don't spend much time with the film itself, although i plan on viewing it with bill sometime soon.

happy anniversary to us all. 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on December 30, 2014, 12:21:09 AM
"Only" 6 1/2 years for me. But I can definitely say that it's changed my life.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on December 30, 2014, 08:51:22 AM
My Brokieversary came on 12/26.   Damn.....9 years
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 30, 2014, 10:53:18 AM
Mine was the same day as Chuck's, but 3 hours earlier. Damn is right, 9 years!! Who'd a thunk??
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on December 30, 2014, 12:45:05 PM
I know!  Crazy!!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on December 31, 2014, 04:08:43 AM
I try not to thunk.



EVER!

It doesn't work
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BlueJeanJeannie on December 31, 2014, 06:52:16 AM
Mine was the same day as Chuck's, but 3 hours earlier. Damn is right, 9 years!! Who'd a thunk??

3 hours earlier...  :D  :D

Excellent!  ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on December 31, 2014, 07:29:18 AM

9 years for me in January.

I wouldn't be the same person - not the same man.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on December 31, 2014, 07:30:51 AM

And here's a silly end-of-the-year-poem from me:

"Every hunk
needs to thunk
once in a while
with endurance and style."
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janiebbmart on December 31, 2014, 09:56:39 AM
Here's a reminder about why we're all here. Jack and Ennis are inside and this is how it should have been.  ;)

(http://i1103.photobucket.com/albums/g471/bbmmagic/3bc43f5a5077fc02df024eb11af6d370.jpg) (http://s1103.photobucket.com/user/bbmmagic/media/3bc43f5a5077fc02df024eb11af6d370.jpg.html)

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: suelyblu on December 31, 2014, 01:27:55 PM
                                                                  ^^^

Thinking of all the sadness in the film/story .......and in real life (Heath).....imagining them living a life like this helps.

Am I crazy lady ??

Thanks for the lovely picture Janieb.  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 31, 2014, 02:39:30 PM
I try not to thunk.



EVER!

It doesn't work

;D ;D ;D  :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 31, 2014, 02:40:55 PM
3 hours earlier...  :D  :D

Excellent!  ;D

Yes, I like to point out I am three hours older than Chuck!! ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 31, 2014, 02:41:25 PM
9 years for me in January.

I wouldn't be the same person - not the same man.



♥  ♥  ♥  ♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 31, 2014, 02:42:25 PM
And here's a silly end-of-the-year-poem from me:

"Every hunk
needs to thunk
once in a while
with endurance and style."

;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on December 31, 2014, 02:44:05 PM
Here's a reminder about why we're all here. Jack and Ennis are inside and this is how it should have been.  ;)

(http://i1103.photobucket.com/albums/g471/bbmmagic/3bc43f5a5077fc02df024eb11af6d370.jpg) (http://s1103.photobucket.com/user/bbmmagic/media/3bc43f5a5077fc02df024eb11af6d370.jpg.html)



Wonderful!! ♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on December 31, 2014, 02:53:15 PM
Amen!  Those boys are more real to me and loved by me than many people I know.  They deserved a life of happiness together.

As do we all.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Lyle (Mooska) on December 31, 2014, 04:28:21 PM


Happy New Year Mark and y'all.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BlueJeanJeannie on January 01, 2015, 06:27:48 AM
Amen!  Those boys are more real to me and loved by me than many people I know.  They deserved a life of happiness together.

As do we all.

Hm. "More loved by me than many people I know..."  I feel the same way - thought it was just me. I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

Thank you, Mark.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: chapeaugris on January 01, 2015, 01:18:38 PM
Here's a reminder about why we're all here. Jack and Ennis are inside and this is how it should have been.  ;)

(http://i1103.photobucket.com/albums/g471/bbmmagic/3bc43f5a5077fc02df024eb11af6d370.jpg) (http://s1103.photobucket.com/user/bbmmagic/media/3bc43f5a5077fc02df024eb11af6d370.jpg.html)



Hang on, isn't that one of those Jacqui Lawson e-cards? You know, 'Click on the truck to start'.... opening chords to Wings, Jack gets out, Ennis appears at the railing, 'Merry Christmas, Jack Fucking Twist' bubble above him, etc... It has that feel.  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on January 01, 2015, 01:40:56 PM
I definitely need a 'like' button here. :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 01, 2015, 01:44:26 PM

I love this, Janie.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 01, 2015, 01:44:40 PM
;D

 ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on January 01, 2015, 01:49:20 PM
Hang on, isn't that one of those Jacqui Lawson e-cards? You know, 'Click on the truck to start'.... opening chords to Wings, Jack gets out, Ennis appears at the railing, 'Merry Christmas, Jack Fucking Twist' bubble above him, etc... It has that feel.  :)

I wish I had the IT skills to make that happen!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janiebbmart on January 02, 2015, 03:16:34 AM
Hang on, isn't that one of those Jacqui Lawson e-cards? You know, 'Click on the truck to start'.... opening chords to Wings, Jack gets out, Ennis appears at the railing, 'Merry Christmas, Jack Fucking Twist' bubble above him, etc... It has that feel.  :)

That would be great having a range of BBM cards...maybe we could suggest it.  :D I don't know the origin of this one, a BBM friend found it somewhere and sent it on to me.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janiebbmart on January 02, 2015, 03:17:31 AM
I love this, Janie.



So do I.  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BlueJeanJeannie on January 02, 2015, 04:11:23 AM
I definitely need a 'like' button here. :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 02, 2015, 08:56:48 AM
I wish I had the IT skills to make that happen!

Thank you for my Christmas Card Jess

xxxxxx


Holy shit, that was my 10,000th post with this account....I think that's my 3rd 10,000th....plus change.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on January 02, 2015, 10:39:39 AM
Happy 30,000 posts  or so Nick, combining all your incarnations!! ;) ;D
You do know you can have a title now, right?? ;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 02, 2015, 06:40:08 PM
I vote for "The Lensman"
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 03, 2015, 03:45:11 AM
my anniversary was december 25th, 9 years for me as well.  i am brokie #3.  how could i ever leave and give that all up.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on January 03, 2015, 11:43:56 AM
Thank you for my Christmas Card Jess

xxxxxx


Holy shit, that was my 10,000th post with this account....I think that's my 3rd 10,000th....plus change.

You are welcome.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on January 06, 2015, 02:50:12 PM
Hang on, isn't that one of those Jacqui Lawson e-cards? You know, 'Click on the truck to start'.... opening chords to Wings, Jack gets out, Ennis appears at the railing, 'Merry Christmas, Jack Fucking Twist' bubble above him, etc... It has that feel.  :)

That's spot on, Kim!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 09, 2015, 12:26:39 PM
Happy 30,000 posts  or so Nick, combining all your incarnations!! ;) ;D
You do know you can have a title now, right?? ;) ;) ;)

Oh
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 09, 2015, 06:39:53 PM
are the gears turning?  ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on January 09, 2015, 07:57:19 PM
Oh

Bit short, but if that's your choice, Nick..... :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on January 09, 2015, 09:15:12 PM
Good point, Sara!! ;D

I'll put that up for him!! ;) ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: jack on January 09, 2015, 09:30:57 PM
i guess "limey bastid" is not in contention?
premature curmudgeon?
garden troll?

 >:D >:D
 ;D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 12, 2015, 07:09:56 AM
 
 
nnln nlnn
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Flyboy on August 29, 2015, 04:02:34 PM
I'm coming up on my 8th year in this forum!! I would have NEVER thought it possible back in 2007 when I joined. I had waited over a year and half to join in the first place, cause I couldn't imagine it lasting that long!! How little I knew then......I do regret not joining sooner, cause a lot of people came and went in the time I waited to join.

Whatever, I have met SOOOOOO many great people I would have never connected with had I not joined. Many I still chat with on a regular basis, although not in the public threads. I don't have the time, or take the time to post much in the thread anymore, but I do check the forum often.......

People pass in and out of our lives all the time, some leave no impression or special remembrances, others live a mark on your heart forever, that's how most of the people in DCF have been to me, leaving a mark of friendship and caring that I NEVER would have imagined before.......so DCF will always hold a special place in my heart.......

Thanks to all who support and maintain this forum, and thanks to all that I have encountered here...... :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on August 29, 2015, 04:13:47 PM
((((Jonn))))

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on August 29, 2015, 06:22:22 PM
Same here, Jonn!
Although we have not met in real life, I consider you to be a great friend! ♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on August 30, 2015, 06:28:04 AM
Me too, Jonn!   :-*

I am so grateful for the many friends I have met through this wonderful movie!

I love them all!

(Well, with a few exceptions.)   ;)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on August 30, 2015, 08:30:12 AM
Same here, Jonn!
Although we have not met in real life, I consider you to be a great friend! ♥

Me too!

I do in a way regret missing the start of it all - it does sound so different and exciting. But I didn't see the film that early on, and when I did, it didn't have "the Effect" on first viewing, so I suppose it had to wait until I was ready for it. And anyway it's already been 10% of my life! :D
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on August 31, 2015, 03:17:35 PM
I first saw it Saturday, January 7, 2006.  I have not been the same since.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: atruant on August 31, 2015, 04:29:52 PM
There's a ton of us in the same boat.

So happy to have met so many of you!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on August 31, 2015, 05:01:15 PM
John, it has always been my great pleasure to have shared all of this going on here with you and Chuck. My happiness knew no bounds when you and Chuck met on the forum and love blossomed. I celebrated with you virtually when you got married, and always with all the other celebrations we have had the opportunity to attend together.

You and Chuck are one of the many blessings I have received by living here. ♥ ♥ ♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on August 31, 2015, 07:49:07 PM
^^^Amen.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on August 31, 2015, 08:25:53 PM
Hello DCF members.  This post is to make you all aware of some changes that will be taking place on DCF very soon.

DCF will be upgrading the forum to the current version of the software, and changing servers after 10 years.  This change will not only be less expensive, it will make performing back-ups easier, and this will stop the occasional crashes that the forum has been experiencing.

We do not have an exact date for this change yet, but it is being worked on.  When the switch occurs, DCF will be down for some time.  Members may want to take of of two actions:   1.  Open a Facebook page, and friend a few Brokies to stay in touch with.   2.  Create a membership at BetterMost.net, another Brokeback forum.  A number of members here, are also members there, so you can still stay in touch with each other.

Another major change in store for DCF is that after 10 years, we will no longer be funded by Dave Cullen. Dave will continue ownership of the site and the forum. There had been donations in the past through PayPal, but these have dried up. There was also a small percentage received from sales at the Amazon store, but very few, if any sales are happening now. These funds went for the hosting of the Forum, but it has been many years since the total cost of hosting has been covered, so Dave has been footing the bill. Dave, we thank you for your generosity in the past years, and we also understand this is a financial burden you can no longer carry alone.

As I said before, the switch to the new server will cause the monthly bill to be less than it is now, and at that point, it will be up to members making small financial donations on a regular basis to keep the forum up and running. You do not have to donate in order to continue to be a member and to post here, but we do need the regular support of members who are active posters and those who continue to lurk in the background and enjoy what the forum has to offer. These funds are needed in order to keep the forum up and running, and preserve the forum's rich history.

The fund raising (and spending) will be run by myself (CellarDweller) and Linda (KillersMom).  I will open an account at the bank I work at, and the only purpose of this account will be to store funds raised for the forum. Monthly statements will be published for all forum members to view, to ensure transparency.  Sources of donations (member names and amounts) will be kept private.

You should also remember that any time you go through the forum store on Amazon to purchase anything, the forum gets a portion of that purchase. 

When the time gets closer for the upgrade and the migration, and we have more details as to the cost of the upgrade and migration and the monthly fee for the hosting, we will post updates for you to read.

Any questions you may have regarding anything above, please don't hesitate to contact me or Linda through PM. As we said, the costs for all of this are still unknown, so as soon as we know the bottom line, you will too.

Thanks for being a part of this unique, on-line family.

CellarDweller & KillersMom.

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: atruant on September 01, 2015, 08:16:13 AM
John, it has always been my great pleasure to have shared all of this going on here with you and Chuck. My happiness knew no bounds when you and Chuck met on the forum and love blossomed. I celebrated with you virtually when you got married, and always with all the other celebrations we have had the opportunity to attend together.

You and Chuck are one of the many blessings I have received by living here. ♥ ♥ ♥

Thank you (((Linda))) for your very sweet words. Also from Chuck. I will never forget how we cemented our friendship on DCF to in person when we met at Estes Park in 2007. Very happy to have got together with you many times since, and most certainly will again in the future. There ain't no reins on this one!!  ;D ;D :-* :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: suelyblu on September 03, 2015, 11:38:23 AM
I am worried and scared about the changes.
There is so much I want and need to know .....but I know the timing is too soon.
I hope it'snot a case of "Anything good.....doesn't last for ever"   :'(
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on September 03, 2015, 11:46:08 AM
Not to worry, Sue. We will still be here, with everything intact, just less hassles and safer from the forum crashing. ♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: suelyblu on September 03, 2015, 12:28:52 PM
Not to worry, Sue. We will still be here, with everything intact, just less hassles and safer from the forum crashing. ♥

Thanks Linda. I'll hold on to that. Like a life raft !! 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Marge_Innavera on September 04, 2015, 08:42:57 AM
Hello DCF members.  This post is to make you all aware of some changes that will be taking place on DCF very soon.

DCF will be upgrading the forum to the current version of the software, and changing servers after 10 years.  This change will not only be less expensive, it will make performing back-ups easier, and this will stop the occasional crashes that the forum has been experiencing.

We do not have an exact date for this change yet, but it is being worked on.  When the switch occurs, DCF will be down for some time.  Members may want to take of of two actions:   1.  Open a Facebook page, and friend a few Brokies to stay in touch with.   2.  Create a membership at BetterMost.net, another Brokeback forum.  A number of members here, are also members there, so you can still stay in touch with each other.

Another major change in store for DCF is that after 10 years, we will no longer be funded by Dave Cullen. Dave will continue ownership of the site and the forum. There had been donations in the past through PayPal, but these have dried up. There was also a small percentage received from sales at the Amazon store, but very few, if any sales are happening now. These funds went for the hosting of the Forum, but it has been many years since the total cost of hosting has been covered, so Dave has been footing the bill. Dave, we thank you for your generosity in the past years, and we also understand this is a financial burden you can no longer carry alone.

As I said before, the switch to the new server will cause the monthly bill to be less than it is now, and at that point, it will be up to members making small financial donations on a regular basis to keep the forum up and running. You do not have to donate in order to continue to be a member and to post here, but we do need the regular support of members who are active posters and those who continue to lurk in the background and enjoy what the forum has to offer. These funds are needed in order to keep the forum up and running, and preserve the forum's rich history.

The fund raising (and spending) will be run by myself (CellarDweller) and Linda (KillersMom).  I will open an account at the bank I work at, and the only purpose of this account will be to store funds raised for the forum. Monthly statements will be published for all forum members to view, to ensure transparency.  Sources of donations (member names and amounts) will be kept private.

You should also remember that any time you go through the forum store on Amazon to purchase anything, the forum gets a portion of that purchase. 

When the time gets closer for the upgrade and the migration, and we have more details as to the cost of the upgrade and migration and the monthly fee for the hosting, we will post updates for you to read.

Any questions you may have regarding anything above, please don't hesitate to contact me or Linda through PM. As we said, the costs for all of this are still unknown, so as soon as we know the bottom line, you will too.

Thanks for being a part of this unique, on-line family.

CellarDweller & KillersMom.



Sounds reasonable, Chuck.  Let us know how to direct donations; I assume Paypal would be the vehicle.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on September 07, 2015, 08:08:04 PM

Hello DCF members! 

Just one week after our initial announcement, we're ready to update some information.

The first step that will happen is the forum will be offline so that a final back-up can be done.  We expect that the forum will be down for a max of 2 hours, but bear in mind that could be longer, or shorter, depending on how smoothly the back-up happens.  We will alert you regarding this down time 24 hours before it happens, so everyone will be aware of it.

The second step will be an upgrade to the forum.  This will take approximately 4 hours, so the forum will be down for this as well.  As with the prior step, we will alert you 24 hours before this happens.

The final step will be the migration of the site to the new server.  We are not sure how long this will take.  As before, we will give a 24 hour alert before the site is taken down.

If anyone chooses to do so, you can create a Facebook page or a membership at Bettermost.net to stay in touch with each other during down time.

We also have some updates regarding the costs for the forum.   The work that will be done for the back-up, upgrade and migration is charged by the hour, so those figures are all dependent on how long everything takes.  The charge by the month will be approximately $40.00, so 40 members donating a $1.00 a month will keep the forum running.  Bear in mind that this fee does not include the fees for the back-up, upgrade and migration.

Chuck will be setting up an account at his bank that will strictly handle only DCF funds, as well as setting up a new PayPal that will also strictly be for DCF funds.


CellarDweller & KillersMom.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: suelyblu on September 08, 2015, 02:41:18 PM
Thanks for this info.
 :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Tony_ on September 08, 2015, 05:24:46 PM
 I don't use PayPal, but if an address could be given, I could send checks, there.

 And thanks for the info, Chuck. Doesn't seem like a burden to those of us who are regulars - very much worth it !
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BlueJeanJeannie on September 09, 2015, 12:56:05 PM
This forum has brought me so much joy over the past three years and, even though I have never met any of you in person, I feel like I'm among friends here. That alone is reason enough to donate, I think.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Dave Cullen on September 11, 2015, 01:46:54 PM
Thanks for the update.  :)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on September 11, 2015, 02:41:54 PM
Thanks, Linda and Chuck. PayPal should make it very straightforward (for those who've got it).
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on October 15, 2015, 07:05:38 PM
Hello DCF members!

All three steps are finally done!   We've been backed-up,  we've been updated, and now we're officially migrated to our new server! 

Also, after numerous tests, the PayPal account for sending donations to support the forum is up and running as well, which is good since it will soon be time to pay for the back-up, upgrade, and migration.  After those are paid, the monthly fee to keep the forum up and running starts. 

Step-by-step instructions for using PayPal to make a donation are below, but first:

At the bottom of the page is a box that says "Donate Via Paypal".  DO NOT USE THAT BUTTON.  If you do, funds will go to an inactive account, and we will have to work with PayPal to get your funds back. 

Log into PayPal.com.

Once there, you'll see an icon of a monetary bill that says "pay or send money".  If you click that, you'll see the option "Send Money to Friends or Family".  Click that.

You'll then be taken to an page that asks for an email address and amount.  Enter the email address that matches my username here.  CellarDweller115@yahoo.com.  Then the amount you want to send, and click "next".

You'll then get a screen that says:  Send CellarDweller115@yahoo.com $X.XX, and click "Send".  Once it's processed, you'll get a screen that says "you sent $X.XX to CellarDweller115@Yahoo.com"

Another option is to mail a check to me personally.  If you choose that option (others already have) just send me a PM and I'll gladly give you my mailing address.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: BayCityJohn on October 27, 2015, 12:57:07 PM
I just wanted to share for those of you who aren't following the event topic.

(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj282/SanFranciscoJohn/Diana%20Tucson_zpszzvdpy7y.jpg) (http://s275.photobucket.com/user/SanFranciscoJohn/media/Diana%20Tucson_zpszzvdpy7y.jpg.html)

Message from Diana:

"Thank you all who came so far to see Brokeback on the big screen at The Loft. The 35 mm print was stunning. Larry and I both are deeply touched by how this film has affected each of you. And I am so lucky, so grateful, to have played a part in its long journey and introduction into your lives. And to each of you in this group and beyond, your stories, your lovely gifts, and the ways in which Brokeback has changed your lives mean more to me than any award ever could. Truly..."
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 29, 2016, 09:58:48 AM
Because of the forum, this.............10 years later

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-En0miYxVFIU/Vqft_xOquSI/AAAAAAAAiP4/7tkyiIB6C6c/s1024-Ic42/NR1.jpg)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on January 29, 2016, 11:25:11 AM
Hugs to you both, Nick and Rob.  :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on January 31, 2016, 11:18:57 AM
That's a lovely tribute. To you two, and to the forum.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on January 31, 2016, 07:43:15 PM
Because of the forum, this.............10 years later

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-En0miYxVFIU/Vqft_xOquSI/AAAAAAAAiP4/7tkyiIB6C6c/s1024-Ic42/NR1.jpg)

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!! Thanks so much for sharing your years with us, Nick!! Love to you both!! ♥ ♥ ♥
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: janjo on February 04, 2016, 05:35:17 PM
Lovely.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on March 05, 2017, 07:22:49 PM
(http://www.ultimatebrokebackforum.com/bespoke/logo_ubbm_forum_U1.jpg)

Where does one even start?

I can still remember buying my ticket to see  Brokeback,  it was December 25th, 2005.  I was hoping for a respectable crowd.   I ended up having to sit in the first row and stretch  my neck to see the screen, all the other seats were taken.

I went home, and found The Dave Cullen Forum, now the Ultimate Brokeback Forum.  If anyone would've told me that seeing this movie would bring about so many new things for me, I would've laughed in their faces.  Yet here I am....looking back to 2005 as I type my 200,000th post.

Looking back, it's almost hard to believe.  I've been to over 15 states, and 6 countries.  I've become friends with people around the world, and learned of their cultures.  I've seen friends give up smoking, lose weight, change jobs, move away, and move on.

The gatherings have been fantastic, and I cherish each one, currently, they are bookended by the first and most recent, both in NYC.

I've learned of gay cinema, and expanded my collection to include Shelter, Latter Days, Small Town Gay Bar, Milk, Out of the Past, Stonewall Uprising.   My library has expanded to include The Gay 100, Wendel, A Single Man, Fairyland, My Son Eric, and many others.

I've celebrated new friendships as I've held them in my arms, and I've cried at friends gone too soon.  Jackie, Rich, Rodney, Dal, Lydia, Betty.    I remember the loss of Heath, and how stunned and devastated we all were.  I'm reminded of a passage from Little House on The Prairie, read at the funeral of a character who died....."Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that's how I'll remember you all...if you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all." I will admit there are days I fail at this, for there are days I still cry for the friends who have gone before me, leaving me behind while they're Glory Bound.

Life always places forks in the  road, and you have to choose which way to go.  I'm not sure what made me choose this way, nor am I sure of what makes me stay.

What I am sure of is that I'm happy with how things have gone since 2005, and I'm glad I can take a  part of you all with me as I move forward, to whatever my destiny is.

Much love to you all, and thanks for being a part of this journey.

Chuck
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on March 05, 2017, 07:25:16 PM
CONGRATS BBM-200XM, CHUCK!!!!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on March 05, 2017, 11:04:28 PM
Chatterbox Chuckie!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on March 25, 2017, 05:08:32 PM
What a lovely post, Chuckie!  :-*

And thank you for being part of my journey, and for being such an important part of this forum!  :-* :-*

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on March 27, 2017, 02:46:58 PM

I just discovered your beautiful, precious post, dear Chuckster.

Big, big bugs for y o u.

And an even bigger smile.

 :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on April 14, 2018, 12:40:14 PM
and another year is passing by, and I'm still here!  ;D 
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on April 14, 2018, 01:50:38 PM
and another year is passing by, and I'm still here!  ;D

And we are very glad, Chuck!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sara B on July 01, 2018, 10:45:45 AM
I’ve just realised I passed the 10th anniversary of my joining the forum last week - I’m still so happy how the many wonderful people have influenced my life so positively. Thanks, everyone! :-*
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on July 01, 2018, 11:53:05 AM
Geaux Sara!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on July 01, 2018, 03:23:58 PM
Happy Brokie-versary, Sara!  We're so glad to have you here!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: killersmom on July 01, 2018, 04:35:50 PM
HAPPY HAPPY joining day, Sara! So glad you made it here.
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on July 07, 2018, 01:48:14 PM
Happy joiniversary Sara!!   :-*


(and today is my 11th Brokieversary!)
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: fritzkep on July 07, 2018, 02:38:12 PM
Yay!

Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: CellarDweller115 on July 07, 2018, 02:50:09 PM
Happy Brokie-versary, Sonja!!
Title: Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
Post by: Sason on July 07, 2018, 03:09:14 PM
Thanks Körkompis and Chuckie!