I know I see things really differently from other people, but I've spent the last 40-plus years thinking about human relationships, and married to a straight man who definitely has things in common with Ennis. He's also been a talker, but feelings? Feelings??!!!??? And the other things that reminds me of Ennis is passivity. This is how I see Ennis and Alma -- they're both SO PASSIVE. They're both so locked into their roles, and it would never occur to them to talk to each other. I can't imagine seeing my partner kiss another man and not saying anything, but I can imagine that even in this day and age there are plenty of women who wouldn't. I see so many people in relationships who are just so passive. A friend of mine lives with her lesbian partner who does not work and, as far as I can tell, has no intention of working despite the fact that my friend lives with constant stress over being the only source of income. Do they really talk about the situation, try to deal with it, make plans? NO! Can people tell me why this is? Ever since I grew up (around age 30 or so), I insist on being active, making choices, not hating what's going on then doing something inappropriate to escape it.
Do people think it's really true to life that Alma would say ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Ennis's relationship with Jack during their entire marriage, then bring it up over her kitchen sink of new marriage? The first time I saw the movie I felt something was off; the second time I saw the movie I knew it was the Thanksgiving scenes that felt out of place. Are they in the story? Does Alma's anger mean she's still in love with Ennis? If she weren't, why would she bring up this old crap now?
I think by people having to hide who they are -- and we hide most of all from ourselves, I think -- they cause a lot of pain to many, many people. I, too, had a friend who was in an unhappy marriage. She was very sexually active, but had an uninterested husband. Well, everyone at this site knows what the real story was. And even after he came out, there he was depending on her emotionally, which at least Ennis had the decency not to do.
By the way, Toby is my horse, not my husband. When you weigh 1600-plus pounds, what you say goes.