Character Analysis of Ennis Del Mar

[patroclus]

[

Supporting and being complicit in someone's self-loathing is about as far from being a guardian angel as imaginable. Inviting your own father to your wedding also doesn't make anyone a saint. Doing whatever she had to to get him to accept his homosexuality, and find another boyfriend, is the only truly loving course of action she could take.

Earth to EnnisandJack4ever! Come down off your high horse! Have you ever had anyone in your life remotely like Ennis? Believe me, if you have you don't just bustle in there with your little self-improvement programme and start 'sorting them out'. My dad is just like Ennis. He was a farm worker (he's 88 now) and just doesn't reveal himself, doesn't make small talk. I must have spent half my childhood trying to get him to talk about himself etc. And he didn't, believe me. I may have my ideas about how I want him to be but I've just had to accept him as he is. And there are little rewards. Just three years ago on a family holiday he talked one evening about his mother, who died when he was a little boy, and I found out for the first time ever her name and where she was buried. I was incredibly touched - it felt like a massive revelation to me and was so grateful to get that much. I can completely relate to Alma Jnr. when Ennis asked - incredibly to her, I'm sure - 'Does he love you?'. That would feel like a raging torrent of expression to her and she would understand how significant such an apparently simple question was after all the years she's known him. Ennis is an adult man. You have to show some respect for how he has chosen to live, to bear himself. This whole film is much more about what goes unspoken than what gets talked about. As with my dad, sometimes we just have to accept the other person and ... well, let be, let be.

I'm sorry for being a bit cheeky at the start of this but I really want you not to be so angry with her and have some respect for their relationship as it is rather than hammering away so wilfully to make it what you think it should be.

[EnnisAndJack4ever]

[

Supporting and being complicit in someone's self-loathing is about as far from being a guardian angel as imaginable. Inviting your own father to your wedding also doesn't make anyone a saint. Doing whatever she had to to get him to accept his homosexuality, and find another boyfriend, is the only truly loving course of action she could take.

Earth to EnnisandJack4ever! Come down off your high horse! Have you ever had anyone in your life remotely like Ennis? Believe me, if you have you don't just bustle in there with your little self-improvement programme and start 'sorting them out'. My dad is just like Ennis. He was a farm worker (he's 88 now) and just doesn't reveal himself, doesn't make small talk. I must have spent half my childhood trying to get him to talk about himself etc. And he didn't, believe me. I may have my ideas about how I want him to be but I've just had to accept him as he is. And there are little rewards. Just three years ago on a family holiday he talked one evening about his mother, who died when he was a little boy, and I found out for the first time ever her name and where she was buried. I was incredibly touched - it felt like a massive revelation to me and was so grateful to get that much. I can completely relate to Alma Jnr. when Ennis asked - incredibly to her, I'm sure - 'Does he love you?'. That would feel like a raging torrent of expression to her and she would understand how significant such an apparently simple question was after all the years she's known him. Ennis is an adult man. You have to show some respect for how he has chosen to live, to bear himself. This whole film is much more about what goes unspoken than what gets talked about. As with my dad, sometimes we just have to accept the other person and ... well, let be, let be.

I'm sorry for being a bit cheeky at the start of this but I really want you not to be so angry with her and have some respect for their relationship as it is rather than hammering away so wilfully to make it what you think it should be.

Excuse me, but none of us know what their relationship is, we are referring to events that will or will not take place after the story has ended. It's all speculation, your view of what will take place is simply your opinion. It's my opinion that she should do something to actively help her father accept himself. And I'm not angry at her, because I don't assume she wouldn't do what I think she should do. No one knows, Annie stopped writing the story before these events would or would not take place.

[DaveinPhilly]

Hmmm, it never occurred to me that Alma might have told her daughters about the reunion scene, and therefore Alma Jr. put two-and-two together about the fishing trips and Jack Twist.  You make a good case.

Still, I have to say that a daughter wanting her dad at her wedding hardly constitutes a push for her dad to accept his homosexuality.  I would buy that interpretation if she had added something like "and you can bring a friend, if you'd like."  And while "not the marrying kind" was code for queer in my neck in the woods too, it wasn't used if the party in question had previously been married with children.  "Not the marrying kind" always was used for the "never married" sort.

I did not imply that the invitation had naything to do with affirm his gay rights...
But it is well after his divorce that Alma Jr says - maybe he isn't the marrying kind... So I feel certain this implies that she knew about her dad and that marriage to Cassie would be something similar to marriage with Alma (sr) - not fulfilling for either of them.

[aceygirl]

Despite what some posters would indicate, Ennis has a good side to him. You can tell that he truely loves and cares for his children. He always has a kiss, smile or kind word for them. Watch the film closely and you will see this. Even when he and Alma are fighting and the girls are on the swings, he stops and calmly asks if they "need a push or somethin'" an then continues having his tantrum.

I was also riled by the same posting about Alma JR. She doesn't flaunt a string of boyfriends to her father. And some people took it that he was so out of touch with her he didn't know she had a new boyfriend. Watch his face. They are playing with each other and having some fun at that point. He knows, but plays dumb. She knows about him, but isn't going to give anything away or discuss it unless he does. And in the story it is obvious that he feels comfortable living with her between jobs. It isn't about "baby sitting."

Yes, Ennis has done something right in his life, because his daughters love him. I think it may be conceivable that he didn't know a whole lot about her life, but that's partly because hello, he's divorced from Alma! It's a bit heart-wrenching, though, to see him tell Alma Jr. she can't live with him when she asks...anybody have any thoughts on why he refuses her (I may be missing out on a thread somewhere about this, sorry).

Well, whether she theoretically knew about him and Jack or not, can one imagine how painful it would have been had she asked him: "Bring someone with you to the wedding" or "Whatever happened to that nice man you introduced us to when he showed up after you and Mom divorced?"  ARggh!!

In another thread there's been quite a lot of discussion about Ennis's tendency toward violence and his physical outbursts. Some, IMO have gotten so caught up in defending him that they condemn those of us who found that tendency disturbing.

It's easy to forget these are fictional characters, ain't it...

[lektronnorth]

It's easy to forget these are fictional characters, ain't it...

Are they? Oh God, is it just a story?   
They are more real than a lot of people I know. Including me, somedays - most days. 

[cyoung]

Hmmm, it never occurred to me that Alma might have told her daughters about the reunion scene, and therefore Alma Jr. put two-and-two together about the fishing trips and Jack Twist.  You make a good case.

Don't forget that Alma Jr. was the child Alma was holding when Jack and Ennis went off on their fishing trip. She probably witnessed and soaked in a lot of the tension between her parents. Children, even very young ones, are extremely perceptive. Believe me, I know -- I grew up with parents who had many problems.

Alma Jr. knew. She not only knew, but she loved and accepted her father as he was. She didn't speak her feelings openly because she was very much like Ennis, tight-lipped.

Cara

[cyoung]

The daughter knows dad's gay, and she may also know his lover was killed in a possible gay-bashing. And what does she do? Brag about how many boyfriends she has like a Valley Girl. Isn't that sensitive of her, no multiple hunks to chase after Ennis when he was in high-school. No, Ennis gets a tortured existence, and just to cry looking at a bloody shirt hanging in his closet.

This is such an ASTOUNDING misreading of Alma Jr. and that scene that my mouth was hanging open as I read it. Good grief, she wasn't "bragging" at all; she was answering her father's questions about her boyfriend!

His daughter is one of the most sympathetic to Ennis and is clearly on his side. She knows who he is and love and accepts him. The movie ends with Ennis agreeing to go to her wedding, accepting her love, rather than pushing her away as he pushed Jack away.

Please, please reconsider your take on this. I think it's crucial to understanding the movie, especially the ending.

Cara

[aceygirl]

Are they? Oh God, is it just a story?   
They are more real than a lot of people I know. Including me, somedays - most days. 

"I obsess about BBM, therefore I am." 

[PALeben]

Yes, it is easy to forget that they are "just characters" in a story. I feel so connected to them and ache every time I see the movie or think about it. And I'm so glad to find that I'm not alone in this.

I see a lot being written now about Ennis's violent side and it is disturbing, but that is part of his character too, whether we like it or not. I think that the first serious incident at the fireworks was his macho side, as well as his self-doubt and fear of being exposed, coming out, especially after the remarks by the bikers about his sex with Alma.

He was again pushed to that point emotionally with Alma and he threatened her. His better self took over and he didn't hurt her, but fled. One viewing of the subsequent fight in front of the bar might lead you to think he was taking it out on someone else, but after seeing it many times I think he starts it to punish himself. We know he is capable of fighting, but he then just lets the other man knock him down and beat the daylight out of him.

I am not defending his violence here, but trying to explain it. We  know we can restrain ourselves from violence, but given his upbringing, could he? It was his father after all who taught him to hit his brother and take him unaware. It was also his father who made him see that body.

[phlmale]

It's easy to forget these are fictional characters, ain't it...

Are they? Oh God, is it just a story?   
They are more real than a lot of people I know. Including me, somedays - most days. 

apparently they contain  little pieces of all of us...

[ToolPackinMama]

I know it's been mentioned before, but the line "not the marrying kind" was in my youth always a codeword for queer. No doubt in my mind that Alma Jr knew about her beloved daddy and she just didn't care. She is so tender with him, just as one would expect from Ennis' child. It is so very likely that her mother who was deeply hurt and betrayed by Ennis would have blurted out the "reunion scene" to Alma Jr and maybe even Jenny (Francine) and that she would know about her daddy's special friend with whom he went "fishin" dozens of times over the years. Doesn't mean she understood that as the kind of partnerships we in this more "enlightened" era, but she knew - she had to.

I agree. I am sure she knew.

[ingmarnicebbmt]

Has there been a discussion on the Alma/Ennis marriage scene yet?
If not, I propose some remarks:
The wedding ceremony follows immediately Ennis's collapse at the end of the first summer.
The words of the priest about sins and evil are a direct hint to that breakdown and to what Ennis and Jack did on BBMT or, at least, as Ennis himself views it: sinful.
Watch Ennis during the ceremony: he stands hopelessly beside himself, barely knowing what's going on. The priest has to remind him that he may kiss the bride ("or I'll do it"). It's a very tender, almost shy and very friendly kiss, but not a passionate one (unlike in the reunion scene with Jack).
Some scenes later, we see Alma & Ennis in the drive-in cinema, he seems to be completely absentminded again. Alma has to "remind" him that his arm is supposed to lay on our shoulder, but he is barely aware she's present.

In the scene when Ennis leaves, years later, for a fishing trip, Alma says bitterly "Didn't you forget something?", she means the fishing material but also a kiss for her. A kiss she won't get anymore. Unlike in the reunion scene, when Ennis is leaving for the first time after the night in the motel, and giving her a "guilty" goodbye kiss after which she bursts into tears.

In the parallel scene in Texas (Jack searching impatiently for his "goddamn" parka, as Lureen puts it), he still finds time for a quite superficial kiss, nothing special, but nevertheless.

[ingmarnicebbmt]

How many times do we get an images of Ennis framed (in a mirror, in a window etc.)?
Could someone establish a list?
I'm completely intrigued by that aspect...

[JHL11]

I love both characters as you all do.  Let's face it, though. Ennis is an emotional abuser and a bit of a manipulator.

In the book and the film it's always gnawed at me about why Ennis felt it necessary to inform Jack of his divorce. Don't get me wrong. He should have done so, however not the way he did it. Let's see...Was it by phone or letter?

He is aware of Jack's love for him and Jack's desire to have a life together. I've speculated on what reaction Ennis was anticipating from Jack regarding the news of his divorce. I thought it was mean of him not to realize how Jack would react to his letter informing him of his divorce.

And then to treat Jack the way he did when he came all that way(second truck scene).

Again, I'd like to hear your speculation on what reaction Ennis expected from Jack upon hearing of his divorce.

Having said all this, I do beleive that Ennis is an emotional abuser, however, I don't think he is capable of being otherwise which somewhat takes him off the hook.

[happycamper]

I love both characters as you all do.  Let's face it, though. Ennis is an emotional abuser and a bit of a manipulator.

In the book and the film it's always gnawed at me about why Ennis felt it necessary to inform Jack of his divorce. Don't get me wrong. He should have done so, however not the way he did it. Let's see...Was it by phone or letter?

He is aware of Jack's love for him and Jack's desire to have a life together. I've speculated on what reaction Ennis was anticipating from Jack regarding the news of his divorce. I thought it was mean of him not to realize how Jack would react to his letter informing him of his divorce.

And then to treat Jack the way he did when he came all that way(second truck scene).

Again, I'd like to hear your speculation on what reaction Ennis expected from Jack upon hearing of his divorce.

Having said all this, I do beleive that Ennis is an emotional abuser, however, I don't think he is capable of being otherwise which somewhat takes him off the hook.

I would guess Ennis was looking for emotional support. He was not happy about the divorce, he was losing his kids, and his life as he knew it. Also having to face up to the fact that he had made his family unhappy. I don't think he realized the impact that it would have on Jack. So maybe he was thoughtless in that regard, but I wouldn't call it manipulative.