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Author Topic: Reactions to Brokeback by friends, family & audiences  (Read 331778 times)

Offline jim ...

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #60 on: January 09, 2006, 04:41:10 PM »
I saw the movie for the first time today with a very dear female married friend.  We went to a 12:30 (Monday) showing. Seeing that it was my first viewing, I didn't want a packed theater.  I needed the space and the quiet while watching.  The audience (approx. 100 people) were very quiet through most of it..... a couple of chuckles where you'd expect them ... but total silence the last 1/3 of the movie. Afterwards, people meandered out very slowly .... very subdued.  My friend felt much that same as I ... stunned and finding it difficult to process.  She mentioned that this was a movie that she'd be thinking about alot.  I'm planning on seeing it a 2nd time next Sunday with another straight friend at an art theater .... will let you know how that one is afterwards.

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #61 on: January 09, 2006, 07:10:53 PM »
Knightmare, I am new here but isn't this forum for people who love this film and want to share? I don't understand your posts in this arena ??? but then I imagine all opinions are welcome. Again, I am new so maybe I am wrong!

IMO, most 5 second attention span movies are garbage but sometimes fun. 

This sort of reaction is why I resisted Melisande for so long, and why I specifically posted in my introduction that I liked the film, but wasn't blown away by it. 

I believe I have as much right to post here as anyone else, and I thank those who have welcomed my opinion.   I'm a bit put off that I'm being questioned on my right to post.  Isn't this a free forum?

And, if everyone doesn't mind, I'm extremely picky about my use name (and I'll give kudos to anyone who figures out the real reason why)

It's k[/i]nightmare, not Knightmare.  I'll say thanks, ahead of time, to those who take the time to indulge my whim.

Offline Pug

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #62 on: January 09, 2006, 07:14:22 PM »
knightmare,
I think you must really, secretly love the film because you keep coming back to the forum!
Pug
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knightmare

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #63 on: January 09, 2006, 07:17:06 PM »
I didn't have the emotional impact from the movie that everyone else has had, and I don't think myself an emotional cripple.

it must be having some effect on you or you wouldn't be cominng back and commenting here.  maybe you really haven't figured out where the hook is yet, but it appears to have caught.  i am sure there are more fun and sexy forums with a more age appropriate crowd or less tightly specific subject matter, but you choose to be with us.  why not try puttinig BBM out of your mind for a week or so, and see if you still feel like talking about it.  if you do, i think you might want to read the story and/or see the movie again, and see what it sticks in your craw.

jack

You know, it's not that at all.  But after this, and Pug's post, I think what I might do is simply not come back.

Offline Melisande

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #64 on: January 09, 2006, 07:24:48 PM »
She doesn't, Pug. Trust me on this.

I just had an unpleasant reminder of another board I used to visit, about a series of books. There was a group there known as Troos, for True Fans, who attacked anyone who didn't worship the books. Eventually the Troos drove out everyone who didn't agree with them, with the help of the management. Result, a very boring board. It's interesting to get a reaction from someone with a different viewpoint, and we welcome all viewpoints as long as they are politely expressed.  
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Offline Hmmmm

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #65 on: January 09, 2006, 07:42:41 PM »
There seems to be a correlation between a viewer's age and the emotional impact BBM has on that person.  My younger friends who have seen the movie thought it was sad, but weren't as devastated by it as I was (or as some of the other people on this board), and I don't think it's because they are emotional cripples (well, maybe one is).  I think it may be because they don't have that first-hand experience with loss, loneliness or a lifetime of regrets that many of us who are older have.  

My 14 year old son has been out about a year. He saw BBM before Christmas.  He sees a tremendous number of movies and considers this one of the best love stories he has ever seen.  He found it very sad and impactful.  So impactful that he is not sure that he will see it for a long long time, perhaps forever.  There are a few films like that for him.  These are a handful of movies that he is glad to have seen but where so sad and impactful that he will not choose to see then for a long time.

Even though it was very emotionally saddening, I imagine he does not "see himself in it" to the extent that those that grew up in the 60-80s and earlier feel. He simply expects to be openly gay in his life and so while deeply saddened by the lives in the movie, the movie does not parallel his life experiences so far.  That is not entirely true I guess because he had an inner struggle before he came out but none of the deeper concealment or lost opportunities that Jack and Ennis experience.

The movie has not made it to our town yet but my wife and I are definitely going to see it.  Even though we are in a town of less than 50,000 we fully expect it will show in town here in the next 3-4 weeks.  If not we will make the 45 min drive.  We think it will play at the megaplex first and then in a second round in the arts theater after it exits the wide theater run.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2006, 09:41:20 PM by Hmmmm »
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Offline mary

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #66 on: January 09, 2006, 07:50:28 PM »
You know, it's not that at all.  But after this, and Pug's post, I think what I might do is simply not come back.

knightmare, I'd like for you to stay - I've enjoyed hearing your perspective.  
I've had similar conversations with my sister - she has seen the film twice (both times with me) and while she liked the film, she is not consumed with it like I am.  I think her biggest interest in BBM is trying to figure out why I can't get it out of my mind.  And I think my husband assumes it's all a Jake crush (and while I don't deny a newfound interest in JG, that's not all of it)

So does this belong in the Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie or do we need a Friends and Family Reactions to our Reaction to the Movie   ;)
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Offline Pug

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #67 on: January 09, 2006, 08:01:34 PM »
Hmmmmm, what a great Dad. Gee whiz regarding Matt, I knew I was gay whenI was a small child. You just know. You know you're different. hard to explain.
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Offline Pug

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #68 on: January 09, 2006, 08:09:22 PM »
I just remember being mesmerized by certain actors in movies. My Dad said he knew I was gay when I was 2! I just knew something was different.
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Offline waynerman

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #69 on: January 09, 2006, 08:14:39 PM »
I didn't want to know, either. I was very depressed when I came out...at the age of 25.

Is this off-topic? I don't think so. There may be a correlation between having mixed feelings about being gay and the depth to which this story affects us.

Frankly, I don't always believe people who say they've never had mixed feelings....
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Offline Pug

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #70 on: January 09, 2006, 08:23:35 PM »
For me, Brokeback Mountain is about missed opportunities. That is why it is so poignant and true.
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Offline Dave Cullen

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #71 on: January 09, 2006, 08:41:57 PM »
She doesn't, Pug. Trust me on this.

I just had an unpleasant reminder of another board I used to visit, about a series of books. There was a group there known as Troos, for True Fans, who attacked anyone who didn't worship the books. Eventually the Troos drove out everyone who didn't agree with them, with the help of the management. Result, a very boring board. It's interesting to get a reaction from someone with a different viewpoint, and we welcome all viewpoints as long as they are politely expressed.  

Amen to that.

I feel really saddened if with lost someone just because she had a different viewpoint. We NEED people like that in the discussion.

Pug, this board is most certainly not exclusively for people who all love the film. It's called healthy debate. If someone has a differing opinion, by all means, debate them. But please don't EVER tell them they don't belong here.

And guys, nobody likes to be psychoanalyzed by an amateur psychologist, especially one that has never met them. Think back to how pissed off you got when someone tried to tell you what you were thinking. I'm not going to say you can't do that, but think twice, and don't be surprised when you find a very angry person on your hands.

Offline Pug

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #72 on: January 09, 2006, 09:02:49 PM »

Quote
It's called healthy debate. If someone has a differing opinion, by all means, debate them. But please don't EVER tell them they don't belong here.

Dave,
I dont recall ever telling knightmare that. Read my posts. And I did mean to post something in between this post and my last to knightmare but got sidetracked. I agree with what you said.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2006, 09:10:11 PM by Pug »
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Offline BillN

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #73 on: January 09, 2006, 09:15:09 PM »

There seems to be a correlation between a viewer's age and the emotional impact BBM has on that person.  My younger friends who have seen the movie thought it was sad, but weren't as devastated by it as I was (or as some of the other people on this board), and I don't think it's because they are emotional cripples (well, maybe one is).  I think it may be because they don't have that first-hand experience with loss, loneliness or a lifetime of regrets that many of us who are older have.  
Quote

I think WLAGuy and Hmmmm have hit on something that has been previously hinted at, BBM has more impact on those of us who are older. I also think that younger people see a lifetime ahead of themselves and are not looking back, and they have not had the chance to build up regrets over time. I knew when I was in my teens and then twenties that the price for being gay could be severe, that I would be despised and maybe even physically assaulted. I've had the time to learn many stories from other men, many of them have not been happy stories. My generation did not expect to be able to live a pleasant life as an "out" person, today's younger people have that option in most any large city and many suburbs. We each bring to the movie our own unique experiences, those of us that are older, have different experiences than someone in their twenties or younger.

Offline sparky

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Re: Audience, Friends and Family Reactions to the Movie
« Reply #74 on: January 09, 2006, 09:19:28 PM »
In my viewing yesterday, I went with one of my dearest friends. The crowd was mostly straight. Older couples, married couples. A few small groups of lesbians. I saw a couple guys who may or may not have been gay. A little snickering at the discovery scene. Silence in the tent scenes. Audible gasps at the postcard. I saw many look away during the tire iron scene. I know I had to last time. Many people stayed for the credits, and my friend and I stayed til the very end of them. She was perhaps not as much a wreck as me. I went through about six giant napkins this time around. But I also have a cold. From the fight scene onward I was biting a knuckle, and breathing through my mouth.
My friend was very upset and thought it was a beautiful film.

I noticed a few things this time I missed before. The line "We are working together so we might as well start drinking together" was not in there. I thought it was. And no one had ever mentioned that shot of Jack in the trailer standing shirtless on a bridge. Where the hell has that gone ? And where would it be in the film ?  Also, has anyone else noticed that the first line uttered after the breakdown in the alley is "Lead us not into temptation but deliever us from evil" ? I thought that was pretty interesting.

I've got to say that the phone call never hit me this hard. That scene is really a killer. Props to Hathaway.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2006, 09:53:27 PM by sparky »