Reactions to Brokeback by friends, family & audiences

[sparky]

sparky,

I would be less upset with Nathan Lane than I would be with my friend.

You know, I thought about that briefly. But, I know her well enough to know she has no hangups
about the subject matter. And I can truly see her being unable to get the image of that goofy queen
out of her head. So...Mr. Lane gets the brunt of my annoyance. Never liked him anyway.

[Timothy]

I’ve seen BBM three times now and each time the experience is different.

At my second viewing the guy next to me was sniffing so much I was almost annoyed.  But its hard to be upset with someone who has tears dripping off their chin.

On my way out I followed two young straight couples in their early 20’s.  I had to laugh because one guy said “that was so sad” and then immediately had to trip his friend to break the tension.  The last time I saw it no one anywhere around me said a word from their seats to the door.

I see that some here are upset by the laughing when Alma sees the kiss.  I actually think that is a normal response and to be expected if there are gay people in the audience.  If you don’t know the story, you assume that what comes next is in line with every other gay movie you’ve seen.  Obviously this is where there is some big confrontation, like every other single solitary gay film ever made (if I exagerate, it isn't by much).  So the laughing is one of those “oooh, there’s gunna be drama” laughs.

When, instead of a catfight, the camera shows you a woman sobbing while her world disintegrates, the audience becomes echoingly silent.  And this contrast between what is expected and what actually follows contributes to the feeling of emotional devastation.

Lastly, I’m not surprised that there isn’t much applause at the end of the film.  Although there was some in my third viewing, there was none the first time I saw it.  I understood why – it’s hard to applaud while you’re dabbing your eyes (a friend I took that did NOT want to see it was busy rubbing his nose and scratching his eyebrows trying not to let me see him wipe away tears).  I haven’t clapped yet.

[PennQuaker]

My folks, both just under 80, responded to my gentle harangue and saw Brokeback today, in Lancaster PA (that's right, the PA Dutch country).  Getting around isn't easy for them -- they're at the age where they bought a new house  "so they could be all on one floor."  They restrict their travel to absolute necessities.  They haven't made the 70 mile trip here to Philadelphia in almost 15 years. 

They're tremendously decent, salt-of-the-earth people, despite a general outlook that makes them typical of the deep-red state region they live in.  They've intellectually accepted who I am since my late teens (30 years), but there's always been an unfathomable emptiness in our relationship.  I've never been able to get beyond their old world morality and completely communicate to them what it means to be, and to need something, that contradicts such a fundamental part of their conventions. 

They're very well-read, and can appreciate anything well made, so I restricted my "sales pitch" to the film's artistic merits (thanks, Ang, for such a fruitful pit to mine!).  I likened it to older films to set the mood for them ("Hud," "The Last Picture Show").  But I prayed they'd both understand why it was so important to me that they go. 

My mother dutifully emailed immediately upon their return from the showing:  "Don thought it was worth breaking his 30-year theater boycott.  Wish I could be there to give you a hug.  Beautiful picture."

My folks are Ennisian in their economy of words, and stingier yet with their feelings.  For them to send me the foregoing is just huge. 

I sat down, put the soundtrack on, and collapsed into the kind of cathartic bawling I haven't experienced since I was a kid.  My folks finally understand something of my life.

[Scott88]

PennQuaker, I'm so happy for you!  I can only imagine how meaningful your mother's email was to you.  Sometimes parents can surprise us, can't they?

[Sam in Chicago]

Wow, PennQuaker, that's so amazing. Thank you for telling us about it.

[BillN]

My mother dutifully emailed immediately upon their return from the showing:  "Don thought it was worth breaking his 30-year theater boycott.  Wish I could be there to give you a hug.  Beautiful picture."

My folks are Ennisian in their economy of words, and stingier yet with their feelings.  For them to send me the foregoing is just huge. 

I sat down, put the soundtrack on, and collapsed into the kind of cathartic bawling I haven't experienced since I was a kid.  My folks finally understand something of my life.

What a wonderful thing, better than a large hug. And I know the tears were of joy.

[ozwitch]

If you go here:

http://www.theage.com.au

you can play a video of the red carpet last night in Melbourne. Heath and Michelle answer questions, help out a clumsy photographer and talk about the BAN, and also their new baby.

Heath:
   

yeah, she's about eleven weeks old, she had a big opening weekend, and there's probably going to be a sequel

very cute.

[lena]

I wasn't sure where to post this - I went to see Mary McBride last night in NYC.  ("Noone's gonna love you like I do", from the soundrack, and singing the song in the scene with Jack dancing with Lureen in the bar the first time they speak).

She gave the movie a fabulous shout out - told us she was asked if she'd be interetested in performing in a movie, and agreed.  They asked her to fly out to Calgary and she knew nothing about the movie other than it was about "a couple cowboys" (sweet that she left out "gay").  Proceeded to tell the audience that she had no idea her hair would turn out as big as it did, and that she had no idea how honored she would be to be part of such a fabulous movie.  The audience - mostly straight - cheered and clapped.  Not surprising - remember, we're in NYC - but it was nice to be in another venue and see the respect this movie has.

[steve]

Posted on: Yesterday at 07:28:47 PMPosted by: PennQuaker

They're tremendously decent, salt-of-the-earth people, despite a general outlook that makes them typical of the deep-red state region they live in.  They've intellectually accepted who I am since my late teens (30 years), but there's always been an unfathomable emptiness in our relationship.  I've never been able to get beyond their old world morality and completely communicate to them what it means to be, and to need something, that contradicts such a fundamental part of their conventions. 

My mother dutifully emailed immediately upon their return from the showing:  "Don thought it was worth breaking his 30-year theater boycott.  Wish I could be there to give you a hug.  Beautiful picture."

Wow, congratulations PennQuaker!  That is quite a story.  My parents are about the same age and very (Mormon) conservative.  With Bush in the White House and me and 1 of my brothers being gay, our family is barely on speaking terms.  My gay brother lamented to me following Christmas that after mom and dad die, our family (8 kids)  will disintegrate. It sounds like your parents are finally starting to understand you.  Congratulations again!

[lynn]

I see that some here are upset by the laughing when Alma sees the kiss.  I actually think that is a normal response and to be expected if there are gay people in the audience. 

Tim, in the audiences I was in, it was middle-aged straight women laughing at this scene. I'm starting to think it is a reaction to the incredible roller-coaster of emotions played out in just seconds: the elation of the reunion, relief, passion... and an immediate cut to the darkest despair on Alma' face. Maybe some people just express their reaction as a nervous type of laughter. Others are probably used to silly romantic comedies where, like you said, there would be some sort of confrontation scene at this point.

I guess we have to accept that not everyone in the theater is as familiar with the story as we are and as prepared for a deep, emotional journey rather than some light entertainment.

[Ella]

Hello, this is my first post on this site, and I have a lot to say!
One reaction I wanted to share with you all is about a friend of mine who is the highly emotional kind, cries at just about any movie, or anything in life. She said that she didn't shed a tear at BBM, that the movie did nothing to her as Jack and Ennis failed to convince her of their love, since they were never very loving towards each other. The only thing that stirred her were the sex scene and the kissing scene, and that was it. I was shocked, specially coming from her. She said she didn't know why aside than that she didn't feel anything. She is not homophobic in any way I know.
Have any of you hear people speak like this?

[steve]

I ran into this interesting article in the paper yesterday that shows attitudes in Wyoming haven't changed much from when this story takes place in 1965.  (Of course we already knew that from Mathew Shepherd's story, but apparently even Mathew's murder  didn't reduce prejudice much.)  Hate and prejudice still reigns supreme in Wyoming (and Utah.)  The concept that there are no Gay cowboys is laughable, as anyone that has been out in the gay world knows.
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Deseret Morning News, Tuesday, January 10, 2006 (Salt Lake City)
http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635175183,00.html

Cowboy country saying 'whoa!' to 'Brokeback'

By Doug Robinson
Deseret Morning News

 Ask one of the locals like Julie Greer how they feel in rural Wyoming about "Brokeback Mountain," the gay-cowboy movie, and you don't have to wait long to get a reaction.

"Yeah, we're offended!" she shoots back. "Because they called those sheepherders cowboys."

It doesn't get any worse than that. But a close second is to call a cowboy gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that (as Seinfeld says). Well, actually, they think there is, and they don't care if city slickers like it or not. If you want to see a cowboy get out of his saddle in a nanosecond, ask him if he is dating the guy on the next horse.

"People are offended that nothing is sacred anymore," says Greer, who works at the Hyattville post office. "People are talking about it. They won't go to the theater to see it."

You knew this movie wouldn't go over big in the Broken Back Mountain area of Wyoming, where the same families have worked the range for more than 100 years. "Almost everyone on the crick has been here for at least a couple of generations," says rancher Maurice Bush, whose grandfather arrived here in 1898.

They are salt-of-the-earth people. They live quietly. They see more cattle than people. They scratch out a living in hard-bitten country. They are blue collar and Republican, and they mind their own business.

So when "Brokeback Mountain" hit movie theaters around the United States, they wondered exactly how they got dragged into this thing.

"I didn't even know what the movie was about," says Bush. "When someone told me, I thought, 'Where the devil did they get an idea like that?' That's pretty much been the reaction of everyone up here."

If you haven't heard, "Brokeback Mountain" is about two gay cowboys. It's set in Wyoming, apparently near Brokeback Mountain, although the real place is called Broken Back Mountain, located in the Big Horn Mountains in north-central Wyoming. The nearest town is Ten Sleep (Pop. 340), which was settled in 1882 by cattle and sheep ranchers. Before that, it was a favorite destination of two Indian tribes that visited the place annually to make arrowheads. It took them 10 sleeps — or 10 nights — to get to the region.

This is home to cowboys. Not the kind who just wear the hats, like country-western singers but men who actually sit in a saddle. They are a long way from political correctness and gay politics out here.

"The story could be set in some fictional place, but it wasn't," says Ten Sleep native Bob Wood. "They made it personal. They plopped it down in a specific place. People in a small town take a lot of pride in who they are, and that's not who they are. This isn't New York. And then set it in 1963, right? In 1963, they'd make fun of a man if he wore shorts."

"I can't think of an area that would be more offended," says Rondo Fehlberg, who grew up in nearby Worland.

Dahl Mills, who sells beautiful horses on Broken Back Ranch, read the book from which the movie originated as part of her book club. "We all hated it," she says.

Author Annie Proulx says she got the idea for her short story — which led to the movie — in a Wyoming bar when she saw one cowboy watching a bunch of other cowboys play pool instead of looking at the pretty girls.

"My dad and grandpas are turning over in their graves," says Wood.

Ten Sleep residents won't be able to see the movie even if they want to. The nearest theater is in Worland — current show: "King Kong."

Says Bob Vines, managing editor of the local newspaper, "I would be surprised if ("Brokeback") plays here in Worland."
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Doug Robinson's column runs on Tuesdays. Please e-mail drob@desnews.com.
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© 2006 Deseret News Publishing Company 

[Jack Nasty]

I see they are more than glad to embrace their stereotypes!

So sad. 

[Hmmmm]

Hello, this is my first post on this site, and I have a lot to say!
One reaction I wanted to share with you all is about a friend of mine who is the highly emotional kind, cries at just about any movie, or anything in life. She said that she didn't shed a tear at BBM, that the movie did nothing to her as Jack and Ennis failed to convince her of their love, since they were never very loving towards each other. The only thing that stirred her were the sex scene and the kissing scene, and that was it. I was shocked, specially coming from her. She said she didn't know why aside than that she didn't feel anything. She is not homophobic in any way I know.
Have any of you hear people speak like this?

There are other comments here and there of where a person did not connect to the movie in a strong emotional way.  Of course that can certainly happen on any movie or book for any particular person on any particular day for whatever reason.  I just may be the way it struck her and it never will be clear why she did not connect.

What is her age?  There is a notion that if one is younger and so life is a future of possibilities they may not connect one on "plane" of the movie as one who is older and has regrets to compare to the movie.  The person with regrets can personally and emotionally identify with the characters directly rather than as an observer.  That does not preclude that her experience could have been one of strong empathy and be drawn in that way.

It sounds like your friend though just never got convinced of the love in Brokeback and so did not get pulled in.  The movie just did not reach her for whatever reason.  It happens.

[Ella]

Interesting article. I happen to live in Wyoming,and can confirm that there are only 2 theaters showing BBM, in Jackson and Laramie. Hard to believe but true.

I think it's a shame people in Wyoming are taking the story so literally as if it meant that every man is gay. They are not able to see that it is the story of 2 people, a tragic love story, and one of a kind. They feel offended because Wyoming is such a macho state! I know what I'm talking about, it's full of "rough-necks" and that's not always pretty. They are not usually very educated people, they are very territorial, judgmental, and intolerant of anything they don't understand, thus BBM. If you put all this aside, they can also be great generous people, welcoming and hard-working, but that doesn't help us here. So they feel attacked in their maleness, and can't get over it. It's a shame but their reaction is to be expected. They just can't accept the fact that Wyoming, this harsh cowboy state could be home to some gay cowboys. No wonder they feel offended. I say open your eyes, and your heart, see further than your county boundary and know that this tragic story is not total fiction, and that there are people who suffer, who die (M. Shepherd) because of your narrow-mindedness.