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Author Topic: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued  (Read 497914 times)

Offline gattaca

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3735 on: February 02, 2016, 04:23:56 PM »
Because of the movie, this.......10 years later


Stopped me in my tracks.  Awesome!  V.

Offline Blownaway

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3736 on: April 09, 2016, 04:22:43 PM »
Hello,

I realise this is a very old thread started many years ago but I thought that if I posted here I might receive a little clarity even by simply writing because I am very confused.

I saw Brokeback Mountain for the first time last year.  I'd never heard of it before and knew nothing about it.  One night last year I sat down to watch Telly, I didn't know what I wanted to watch and whilst scrolling through the TV guide, I saw one of the channels advertising 'Academy Award Winning Brokeback Mountain.  I decided to watch it afterall, it had won oscars so it should be somewhat decent. When I saw the scene of Ennis and Jack's first night together in the tent, I was surprised, I hadn't expected it but it didn't seem unnatural on the contrary, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to happen.  I became engrossed after that and the ending came too soon for me.   I loved it and could not get it out of my head.

The next day I watched it again on my laptop.  I then watched everything there was on Youtube about the moving.  I then read everything there was to read about the movie online.  I then went and bought the short story from Amazon and read that.  I then shared Sarah Brightman's song 'this love' and posted my love of the movie on Facebook but I didn't get any likes or comments.  This surprised me, I realised the movie was over ten years old but it is a famous movie surely others had seen it and loved it like I did.  Ok, I only saw it for the first time in 2015 but in 2005, I had a newborn baby, other small children and a bad marriage.  Back then, I didn't see any movies but that's another story

Because I didn't get any likes or comments on Facebook in relation to my post on Brokeback Mountain, I started to question my obsession with this movie.  This was the most beautiful albeit tragic true love story I'd ever seen or read.  A masterpiece, up there with Shakespear's 'Romeo and Juliet and Jane Austin's 'Pride and Prejudice'.  Surely others 'got it' like I did so why didn't I get any feedback on Facebook, my posts usually did, was it the 'gay thing'?

I didn't see Jack and Ennis as gay.  I hadn't really thought of their relationship as gay until after I'd read articles online. I saw their love as beyond labelling.  I also found myself lacking sympathy for Alma and I should have had sympathy for her because I was her for a long time, overwork in a loveless marriage. I know she got hurt and she was a victim but I don't think she could ever understand the force that drove Ennis in Jack's direction,

I've also started for the first time in my life to think and question by own sexuality.  I'm a 49 year old mother of four.  I've only ever had sexual relationships with men.  I've fallen in and out of love with a couple of men.  I've had very few close females in my life and as a matter of fact, I find it much easier to talk and form friendships with men.  That said,most of the men I became close friends with, I ended up sleeping with and there were a couple of women that I got very close to and wanted to sleep with but never did.  Isn't only natural to want to sleep with a person you hold a deep connection with even if the person is of the same sex?  Is this true of most people or am I wrong?  I need to know

Brokeback Mountain was the best movie I've ever seen.  Why it didn't win Best Picture at the Oscars is a total mystery to me.  As for the acting, wow, were Jake and Heath 100% acting or was there a real life connection there?  If it was pure acting, then it was totally amazing however I'm not convinced it was


Offline suelyblu

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3737 on: April 09, 2016, 05:56:35 PM »
Hi Blownaway. Welcome.

What a wonderful film it is. It has affected more people than we will ever know.

Like you...I'm ashamed to say I felt no sympathies for Alma either. I think it's because we loved Jack and Ennis so much and wanted them to be together always. It's almost like we blamed her for Jack and Ennis not being able to be together when really it was Ennis and all of his insecurities....and of course the era they were living in.

Life is strange. We think we want one thing....then in a moment of clarity we realise
we want the opposite. BUT....with relationships heterosexual or gay.....other people
can hurt while you are finding out which way you will finally go.
So life can be very much like Brokeback Mountain.....you may not want to cause hurt
to anyone but there can be casualties. Explore and find out what and who you want
but tread carefully.

Hope you stay here onboard at the Forum.

 

"I  know that ghosts have wondered on the earth,
 Be with me always. Take any form. Drive me mad,
 only do not leave me in the dark alone, where I cannot
 find you.
 I cannot live without my life.
 I cannot die without my soul.
                                          .

Offline gwyllion

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3738 on: April 09, 2016, 06:19:30 PM »
Welcome, blownaway.

I has a relationship where I was Alma.

This film helped me recover from it.

You're ten years late, but you're in good company!

Feel free to post more! It's thrilling to know that our little film has stood the test of time and that people are still drawn to it  :)
"Like Solzhenitsyn, labouring in Vermont, I shall beaver away in exile..." -Cloud Atlas

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3739 on: April 09, 2016, 08:06:26 PM »

Hello BlownAway!  Welcome to the Ultimate Brokeback Mountain Forum!

My name is Chuck (USA/ New Jersey) and I'm one of the moderators who helps run the place.

It's always great to see new members find us and join up!

I'm going to supply you with a few links that you may find helpful.  You may have already been in a few threads in these sections, but you may find some new topics you want to post in.  If you see that a topic is "old", please don't feel that you shouldn't post.  You never know what conversation would be started because you posted.



In this section you can find threads to compare the movie to the short story (Film Vs. Book), your favorite quote from the movie or book, and general discussion of Brokeback.



In this section you can find threads about reactions of the audience, how the movie affected you, and other topics.



Here you will find threads that talk about various scenes from the movie. 



This is where you'll find threads that talk about Jack, Ennis, their relationship, the women of Brokeback, and other elements.


There are other sections as well where you'll find chat threads (The Diner,  Le Bar Slash) fan fiction discussion, TV, movies, music, and countless other threads.

Have fun exploring!

Offline B.W.

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3740 on: April 09, 2016, 09:06:32 PM »
Hello,

I realise this is a very old thread started many years ago but I thought that if I posted here I might receive a little clarity even by simply writing because I am very confused.

I saw Brokeback Mountain for the first time last year.  I'd never heard of it before and knew nothing about it.  One night last year I sat down to watch Telly, I didn't know what I wanted to watch and whilst scrolling through the TV guide, I saw one of the channels advertising 'Academy Award Winning Brokeback Mountain.  I decided to watch it afterall, it had won oscars so it should be somewhat decent. When I saw the scene of Ennis and Jack's first night together in the tent, I was surprised, I hadn't expected it but it didn't seem unnatural on the contrary, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to happen.  I became engrossed after that and the ending came too soon for me.   I loved it and could not get it out of my head.

The next day I watched it again on my laptop.  I then watched everything there was on Youtube about the moving.  I then read everything there was to read about the movie online.  I then went and bought the short story from Amazon and read that.  I then shared Sarah Brightman's song 'this love' and posted my love of the movie on Facebook but I didn't get any likes or comments.  This surprised me, I realised the movie was over ten years old but it is a famous movie surely others had seen it and loved it like I did.  Ok, I only saw it for the first time in 2015 but in 2005, I had a newborn baby, other small children and a bad marriage.  Back then, I didn't see any movies but that's another story

Because I didn't get any likes or comments on Facebook in relation to my post on Brokeback Mountain, I started to question my obsession with this movie.  This was the most beautiful albeit tragic true love story I'd ever seen or read.  A masterpiece, up there with Shakespear's 'Romeo and Juliet and Jane Austin's 'Pride and Prejudice'.  Surely others 'got it' like I did so why didn't I get any feedback on Facebook, my posts usually did, was it the 'gay thing'?

I didn't see Jack and Ennis as gay.  I hadn't really thought of their relationship as gay until after I'd read articles online. I saw their love as beyond labelling.  I also found myself lacking sympathy for Alma and I should have had sympathy for her because I was her for a long time, overwork in a loveless marriage. I know she got hurt and she was a victim but I don't think she could ever understand the force that drove Ennis in Jack's direction,

I've also started for the first time in my life to think and question by own sexuality.  I'm a 49 year old mother of four.  I've only ever had sexual relationships with men.  I've fallen in and out of love with a couple of men.  I've had very few close females in my life and as a matter of fact, I find it much easier to talk and form friendships with men.  That said,most of the men I became close friends with, I ended up sleeping with and there were a couple of women that I got very close to and wanted to sleep with but never did.  Isn't only natural to want to sleep with a person you hold a deep connection with even if the person is of the same sex?  Is this true of most people or am I wrong?  I need to know

Brokeback Mountain was the best movie I've ever seen.  Why it didn't win Best Picture at the Oscars is a total mystery to me.  As for the acting, wow, were Jake and Heath 100% acting or was there a real life connection there?  If it was pure acting, then it was totally amazing however I'm not convinced it was





Hi there, Blownaway.  I'm glad that you liked "Brokeback Mountain" (2005) and I hope that you will like this forum as well.  Its interesting to see how "Brokeback Mountain" can still have a major emotional effect on recent viewers of the film nearly 11 years after its theatrical release.  Its also very nice to see a new person commenting on this forum.  Personally, I have never read Annie Proulx's short story, but I have heard a lot about it.  I have also never seen the opera nor the British stage play that are based on the short story.  I know that there are numerous books that have been written about the short story, the film and their impact on readers, viewers and popular culture over the years, but I have never read any of them.  I have heard a lot about them though.  There is also a straight-to-DVD film version of the opera, but I haven't seen that. 

In regards to Alma, I felt sympathy for her, but I agree that she didn't understand the attraction that Ennis felt towards Jack, but I suppose you have to consider the time and place in which the film occurs.  I also agree that Heath and Jake's performances are amazing, I think the fact that they became close friends by working on this film together, that certainly must have further helped with the chemistry between their characters.  I don't think that the film made me question my sexuality.  I am a heterosexual, married woman all the way.  Is it common for some people to question their sexuality? Sure.  Is it "natural" for adults to want to have sex with another non-related adult that they are emotionally attached to, even if they are the same-sex?  I don't know, I cannot really say.  I think that you would already have to have romantic and sexual feelings for people of the  same-sex or eventually discover that you have those feelings if you are a "late bloomer".  Sure, there are heterosexual, cisgender and LGBT people who sexually experiment with people of another sexual orientation and/or someone of the opposite-sex, but at the end of the day, they most likely still identify as heterosexual, cisgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.  Only you can decide how you feel.

  It would have been interesting if "Brokeback Mountain" had won Best Picture, but that is really all that one can say.  It didn't win the award, but it hasn't stopped "Brokeback Mountain" from making viewers ask complex questions even almost 11 years later.  I certainly think that you have come to the right place, if you are looking for people who share your enthusiasm about this film.   There are also a few other interesting forums for fans of "Brokeback Mountain" as well, but the "davecullen . com" forum seem to be a bit more active than the other forums are.  Thanks for posting your comment, Blownaway, I thought it was very interesting.


B.W.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 11:08:37 PM by B.W. »

Offline B.W.

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3741 on: April 09, 2016, 09:10:39 PM »
Hi Blownaway. Welcome.

What a wonderful film it is. It has affected more people than we will ever know.

Like you...I'm ashamed to say I felt no sympathies for Alma either. I think it's because we loved Jack and Ennis so much and wanted them to be together always. It's almost like we blamed her for Jack and Ennis not being able to be together when really it was Ennis and all of his insecurities....and of course the era they were living in.

Life is strange. We think we want one thing....then in a moment of clarity we realise
we want the opposite. BUT....with relationships heterosexual or gay.....other people
can hurt while you are finding out which way you will finally go.
So life can be very much like Brokeback Mountain.....you may not want to cause hurt
to anyone but there can be casualties. Explore and find out what and who you want
but tread carefully.

Hope you stay here onboard at the Forum.


 I found this to be an interesting comment, suelyblu.  It does seem that quite a few people who join the "davecullen . com forum" never seem to post here.  I wish that more of them did post on here regularly.  I also agree that life is certainly complex, romantic and sexual relationships are certainly no exception.

Offline Blownaway

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3742 on: April 10, 2016, 05:29:29 PM »
Many thanks for the replies. 

I've been thinking all day about BBM.  I've read some more here and on other forums as recommended.   I haven't written anything anyway for many years but I know its therapy for me to write, I could do it more often, I should do it more often, I will do it more often here.

I've thought alot over the past 24 hours about my sexuality.  What am I?, only I can answer that, the answer has to be within me so I asked myself, am I attracted to men?, am I attracted to women? or both? Yea I am heterosexual but if sexual orientation is a pendulum whereby zero degrees is totally heterosexual and ninety degrees is bisexual and 180 degrees is totally homosexual then my tangent is at around 45 degrees.

I really get this movie and I'm glad I get it.  I can identify and here's why.  This is my story.

I was married for 15 years.  I never loved my husband R, I married him for security.  I had fallen madly in love with a guy in my early 20's, it didn't work out and I didn't think I could ever feel the same again about another human being but I didn't mind either because the pain of heartbreak was unbearable. I had known R for years before we married, he loved me, he was good looking, he was intelligent and he was predictable.  So I married him and we had four children together.  Of course it didn't work out and we separated in 2008.  BTW, BBM made me realise the R was a victim in our marriage. For years I believed that I was the victim  and I wore my victim status like a badge of honor .  I played the role of Alma but R was the real Alma.  R was happy with the status qua, I wasn't.  I always wanted more, I was always searching to fill a void. 

I met A in 2010.  He came to me as a client.  It was his wife who recommended me to him.  She had been a previous client of mine.  Long story short, we became very close very quickly.  Our sessions together turned into a secret affair.  I knew I was crossing the line both professionally and morally but I couldn't help it, wild horses couldn't stop me, the force that was drawing me to him was too strong.

Our Brokeback Mountain was a three week Humanitarian Aid road trip to Eastern Europe in the summer of 2010  It was just the two of us and nobody from our home town knew I went with him.  For those three weeks, I tied up my hair in a french braid, never wore make up and wore only shorts and string tops.  We drank wine and beer every night, made love every night and every morning, cooked outside in the open air, slept together in a narrow bunk and never ran out of things to talk about.   It was the best time of my life, I was truly happy.  Like Jack and Ennis, I felt 19, I was 43, he was 51

But it was forbidden love. It was a secret.  We returned home and went back to normal.  We continued to see each other secretly and took the same Humanitarian Aid trip again in 2011.  I knew he wasn't happy at home, he had lived apart albeit under the same roof from his wife for many years.  It was a marriage of keeping up appearances.  I am Jack in our relationship.  I urged him to leave and for a long time could not understand why he couldn't. He is Ennis.  He did eventually leave and the truth came out about us and everyone got hurt.

We are still together but barely.  Our relationship has always been turbulent.  I have quit him several times and he has quit me.  He did go back to his wife once but left again.  I tried seeing other men but it was a waste of time.  I see so many parallels within Jack and Ennis's relationship and my own with A.  We have loved each other deeply but also hurt each other deeply.

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3743 on: April 10, 2016, 07:08:04 PM »
Now you know why this movie  resonates with you so much.  It has nothing to do with sexuality, but love.

Thank you for sharing such an intimate post with us, and welcome to the family.

Offline B.W.

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3744 on: April 10, 2016, 11:02:41 PM »
Many thanks for the replies. 

I've been thinking all day about BBM.  I've read some more here and on other forums as recommended.   I haven't written anything anyway for many years but I know its therapy for me to write, I could do it more often, I should do it more often, I will do it more often here.

I've thought alot over the past 24 hours about my sexuality.  What am I?, only I can answer that, the answer has to be within me so I asked myself, am I attracted to men?, am I attracted to women? or both? Yea I am heterosexual but if sexual orientation is a pendulum whereby zero degrees is totally heterosexual and ninety degrees is bisexual and 180 degrees is totally homosexual then my tangent is at around 45 degrees.

I really get this movie and I'm glad I get it.  I can identify and here's why.  This is my story.

I was married for 15 years.  I never loved my husband R, I married him for security.  I had fallen madly in love with a guy in my early 20's, it didn't work out and I didn't think I could ever feel the same again about another human being but I didn't mind either because the pain of heartbreak was unbearable. I had known R for years before we married, he loved me, he was good looking, he was intelligent and he was predictable.  So I married him and we had four children together.  Of course it didn't work out and we separated in 2008.  BTW, BBM made me realise the R was a victim in our marriage. For years I believed that I was the victim  and I wore my victim status like a badge of honor .  I played the role of Alma but R was the real Alma.  R was happy with the status qua, I wasn't.  I always wanted more, I was always searching to fill a void. 

I met A in 2010.  He came to me as a client.  It was his wife who recommended me to him.  She had been a previous client of mine.  Long story short, we became very close very quickly.  Our sessions together turned into a secret affair.  I knew I was crossing the line both professionally and morally but I couldn't help it, wild horses couldn't stop me, the force that was drawing me to him was too strong.

Our Brokeback Mountain was a three week Humanitarian Aid road trip to Eastern Europe in the summer of 2010  It was just the two of us and nobody from our home town knew I went with him.  For those three weeks, I tied up my hair in a french braid, never wore make up and wore only shorts and string tops.  We drank wine and beer every night, made love every night and every morning, cooked outside in the open air, slept together in a narrow bunk and never ran out of things to talk about.   It was the best time of my life, I was truly happy.  Like Jack and Ennis, I felt 19, I was 43, he was 51

But it was forbidden love. It was a secret.  We returned home and went back to normal.  We continued to see each other secretly and took the same Humanitarian Aid trip again in 2011.  I knew he wasn't happy at home, he had lived apart albeit under the same roof from his wife for many years.  It was a marriage of keeping up appearances.  I am Jack in our relationship.  I urged him to leave and for a long time could not understand why he couldn't. He is Ennis.  He did eventually leave and the truth came out about us and everyone got hurt.

We are still together but barely.  Our relationship has always been turbulent.  I have quit him several times and he has quit me.  He did go back to his wife once but left again.  I tried seeing other men but it was a waste of time.  I see so many parallels within Jack and Ennis's relationship and my own with A.  We have loved each other deeply but also hurt each other deeply.





Blownaway,


Hi.  Thanks for sharing your story.  I am sorry about the difficult relationship experiences that you have gone through. I hope one day that you can find a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone who is out of this world. By learning more of your story, it is even more understandable as to how you can relate to this film.  Personally, I could never imagine falling in love with someone other than my husband.  I would probably be filled with unquenchable feelings of jealousy and rage if he fell in love with another woman.  So, I cannot fully blame Alma for feeling hurt, angry, betrayed and confused over Ennis's 20-year romantic and sexual love affair with Jack.  It would have to be devastating beyond words that the person whom you love and have built a life with is in love with someone else.


I could never imagine having an affair with someone else.  if I did, I am quite sure that I would end up hating myself and the feelings of guilt would probably never go away.  I love my hubby so much and I could never imagine hurting him like that.  We have jokingly told each other that if either one of us was to cheat on the other, the faithful spouse would get a free divorce.  Please understand Blownaway, I am not condemning you for falling in love and pursuing a relationship with a married man.  I imagine that such a relationship must have been very difficult for you, for "A", even though the two of you cared for each other deeply and shared a few days of your life together in happiness. I am sure it was difficult for both of you to watch the reactions of your loved ones when they found out about your relationship.  Love is such a complex emotion.  I hope that you are doing better and that things will improve for you as time goes on.


B.W.

« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 11:19:51 PM by B.W. »

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3745 on: December 28, 2016, 05:22:08 PM »



Hello members!!!!  The Admin/Mod/Tech team is coming to you with news for the new year.

When this forum was originally founded, it was under the URL we all know, www.DaveCullen.com, however, it was often referred to as the "Ultimate Brokeback Forum".  Dave's website had a link to the forum, and the two entities were joined as one.

Dave has decided to do some "housecleaning", to help focus on the upcoming release of his next For a host of technical reasons beyond Dave’s technical ability, he needs to turn his website over to a service that can handle much of the work—and it can’t support the massive forum database. Dave really wants the forum to proceed, so the solution is simple: just split Dave’s personal pages and the forum to two separate web addresses. Everything else remains the same.

To continue to follow Dave Cullen, you can use the existing address,   www.DaveCullen.com .

To access the Ultimate Brokeback Forum, you will need to bookmark this new address:   https://www.UltimateBrokebackForum.com/forum.

We expect this change to take place within a week's time, and there should be no major disruption to the forum.   While the UBF will no longer be linked to DCF,  Dave Cullen will retain his ownership of both sites. 

Please continue to watch the threads/newsbox for further updates!  We will attempt to give you all 24 hours notice before the change takes place.  However, you should make note of the new address now.  If you try to log in at the old address and you are unable to, try to use the new address.  Thanks for your continued participation in this community!


« Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 02:48:28 PM by killersmom »

Offline BJ

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3746 on: April 16, 2017, 11:36:56 PM »
Friends,

So, there is a place called "Ennis" in Texas????  :D
My job is related to logistics; just saw us doing a shipment with final destination "Ennis, TX" and my mind started wandering...
XDDD

Offline B.W.

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3747 on: June 14, 2017, 08:18:16 PM »
Friends,

So, there is a place called "Ennis" in Texas????  :D
My job is related to logistics; just saw us doing a shipment with final destination "Ennis, TX" and my mind started wandering...
XDDD



That's interesting.

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3748 on: June 15, 2017, 02:50:52 PM »
On my way down to the BBQ in 2006 I called Linda Killersmom and Jackie Paintedshoes from Ennis TX. An unexpected surprise!

Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3749 on: June 15, 2017, 03:36:54 PM »
I remember them talking about that call!