The Ultimate Brokeback Forum

Author Topic: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued  (Read 491997 times)

Offline BlueAmber63

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3765 on: July 27, 2017, 05:58:46 AM »
Welcome rtrtrt,

I'm still "lost" in the story and still in love with the characters ,even after all his time. 

I'm Sue now known as "BlueAmber63" not "Sueyblu" as I was for at least 6-7 years.
(Long story)!! I'm from England and female as my name suggests !!!

Our members have dwindled a bit....but those who are still here are still as wrapped
and in love with BBM as much as they ever were.

   
Wanting him to come back... before anyone notices
part of the world has not moved...since he left.

Offline Sara B

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3766 on: July 27, 2017, 09:45:56 AM »
Welcome rtrtrt!
“When we grow older still we’ll speak about those two young men as if they were two strangers..... And we’ll want to call it envy, because to call it regret would break our hearts.”

Call Me by Your Name, André Aciman.

Offline BayCityJohn

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3767 on: August 02, 2017, 12:47:24 AM »
***Spoiler Alert***
Halfway through “Memories of a Penitent Heart,” a documentary about a Central Florida family, comes a stunning plot twist.

Like many gay men in the 1980s, Miguel moved to New York City in search of a life out of the closet; he found a career in theater and a rewarding relationship. Yet in the midst of the AIDS crisis, his devout Catholic mother pressured him to repent for his homosexuality on his deathbed. Twenty-five years later, his niece Cecilia Aldarondo breaks the silence surrounding her uncle's death, sifting through conflicting memories of a man she never really knew. She locates Miguel's estranged partner and begins to unlock long-dormant family secrets.


http://www.orlandosentinel.com/entertainment/tv/tv-guy/os-et-winter-park-family-story-plot-twist-20170801-story.html
Once a virgin, always a virgin

Offline BayCityJohn

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3768 on: August 02, 2017, 12:48:22 AM »
Once a virgin, always a virgin

Offline B.W.

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3769 on: January 20, 2018, 10:18:18 PM »
Hi, everybody. First time poster, long time reader. I am in my late teens, and after seeing BBM about a year and a half ago, was kind of shocked that people in my age group haven't seen/ don't know this movie the way they do Titanic, The Notebook, etc. I have never been incredibly moved by films, but I literally could not get this out of my head for months. I would think about the characters and their situation every day, and I still do.

Is this forum still active? I feel kinda sad reading the posts of CSI, peteinportland, janjo, and others who posted over ten years ago! I guess I'm kind of late to the party.


I venture to guess that this person hasn't commented on the "Ultimate Brokeback Forum" in months, but yes, the forum is still active.  It might not be quite as active as it was when the film's theatrical release took place almost 13 years ago, but the forum is still active.  I wonder if this person still reads through this forum from time to time?  It would be interesting to see more comments from "rtrtrt".  I am curious as to how old "rtrtrt" is and what gender they identify as.  If "rtrtrt" happens to be a teenager, then I can imagine that there are a lot of teenagers around the world who haven't seen or even heard of "Brokeback Mountain".  Many parents and legal guardians wouldn't allow their children to watch this film, especially people who hold bigoted views and hateful attitudes about and towards LGBT people.



Most teenagers and young adults are probably more familiar with theatrical films like James Cameron's "Titanic" (1997) and "The Notebook" (2004) than they probably would be with a theatrical film like "Brokeback Mountain" (2005).  If "rtrtrt" is a teenager, then they must be a very mature young person to be able to handle watching a film like this.  There have been countless persons who have commented on this forum over the years since the forum was first created that have stated how deeply affected they were by the film, so "rtrtrt", you are definitely not alone.  I personally wouldn't say that you are "late to the party" at all.  There are people from all over the world who have seen this film at different periods in time over the years since it's theatrical release and have been deeply moved by it to the point that they feel the need to talk with others online about how "Brokeback Mountain" has made them feel, and I am quite certain that some of those persons have even used this particular forum to express their thoughts.  I am also quite sure that you would be very welcome here if you choose to comment on this forum again at some point in the near future.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2018, 12:08:37 AM by B.W. »

Offline Gazapete

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3770 on: January 20, 2018, 11:43:39 PM »

 Many parents and legal guardians wouldn't allow their children to watch this film, especially people who hold bigoted views and hateful attitudes about and towards LGBT people.


I tried to watch it with my 13 year old girl but she just rolled her eyes on me, how I dared to interrupt her favourite show viewing! And I am pretty sure that she would like the movie. I will try again when Pretty Little Liars is over!

Offline B.W.

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3771 on: January 21, 2018, 12:15:08 AM »
I tried to watch it with my 13 year old girl but she just rolled her eyes on me, how I dared to interrupt her favourite show viewing! And I am pretty sure that she would like the movie. I will try again when Pretty Little Liars is over!


LOL! I don't have children or grandchildren, but I guess that must be kind of a typical thing for a teenager to do.  I didn't mean to imply that no parent or legal guardian would ever let their teenage child watch "Brokeback Mountain" (2005). It would depend on if the parent or legal guardian feels comfortable with letting their child watch the film and if the teenage child is mature enough to handle the content in the film.  I know that I wouldn't have been allowed to watch it if the film had been released when I was a teenager because I grew up in a fundamentalist religious home where same-sex relationships would have been thought of as a "highly offensive sin in the eyes of God".

Offline Gazapete

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3772 on: January 21, 2018, 01:19:20 AM »
I think my parents would have allowed me to watch it, I grew up in a very catholic land, but they have never been that way. My father was really impressed by BBM, he has told me a couple of times how deeply he regrets making fun at school of boys who didn't look "macho enough". I'm so proud of him :)

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3773 on: April 14, 2018, 12:39:23 PM »
You should be proud of him,  that's great to read!   Thanks for sharing that!

Offline heavenonearth

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3774 on: July 09, 2018, 02:33:18 PM »
Dear Brokie Brothers and Sisters,

Okay, here goes, I’m bitting the bullet. Much after the fact, but hey, better late than never...

I tried to keep this on the shorter side but as you can see, I am not very good at that. Where is Annie Proulx when you need her!

I saw BBM when it was first released but I will start with the recent experience and then go back. It appears, out of nowhere, I felt the nudge to again see the movie in November 2017. I downloaded it from my cable provider. I felt some stirrings after the first viewing but nothing major. When I woke up the next morning I watched it again as it was available for 48 hours. A few days later I downloaded it again and decided this could become expensive so I purchased the DVD online. I could not stop thinking about it. It is the most beautiful love story I have ever seen. It is real and extraordinarily moving. I fell in love with Jack and Ennis, their story, the breathtaking scenery, the mountains, the music… The movie’s staying power speaks for itself (when the time is right it seems…). It took hold of my heart and has not let go, nor do I want it to. As one woman that interviewed Jake said to him, “you and Heath, that particular combination was, and remains, one of the beautiful examples of male love we have on screen, it’s that simple”. You bet!!!

I bought the short story around the same time and a while later the screenplay. The SS bowled me over. In certain passages, I would feel my heart rising up my throat and I had to stop reading as this overwhelming nostalgia took my breath away. It felt beautiful, alive, bittersweet, heartbreaking, and all-consuming. I can still have this experience when reading it or listening to the audio version, but not as intensely.

As I googled for info on the movie, the actors…as I like to do, I came across the forum and have been reading voraciously ever since. I decided to register in March. I am a firm believer that life is spontaneous and that nothing happens by accident.

After being touched by many moving, sad, passionate, and inspiring posts on this thread, I feel the nudge to try and share how BB has affected me. It is difficult to put into words as it forever morphs and is a journey filled with emotions, but I will try. I intend to keep it honest, if not, what is the point.

I saw BB for the first time, at some point in 2005-06. I cannot remember anything about the experience, aside from the lingering feeling that I had liked it and thought it was beautiful. I do not remember thinking much about it after seeing it. At the time, I lived with my partner, a woman that I loved, from spring 2005 to spring 2006, when we decided to break up and sell the house. I divorced in 1996 after a 23 year marriage to a man that I loved. Suffice to say, those years were emotionally tumultuous and very challenging.

As an aside, and to share a bit about me, I have never labelled myself, only because no label seemed to fit. Although I am not a big fan of labels in general, I would happily and proudly say I am gay if it felt true. Even bisexual does not quite fit. Whatever life brings that resonates as true and good in the instant is what I go with, and I cannot predict the future, so I simply remain open to life.

Two years after originally (2005-06) seeing BB, I would have been unable to tell you the names of the actors. I did not know Heath or Jake before seeing the movie. There is one memory that stuck; it is a phone call from my daughter in 2008. I answered the phone and she said, sounding distressed and saddened, “mom, have you heard?”. I said “heard what?”, and she informed me that Heath Ledger had died. I feel some shame now in sharing that I asked her who Heath Ledger was. I do not remember the rest of the conversation with my daughter. It is interesting how this memory lay dormant, only to resurface when I rediscovered BB in the fall. It is a grieving process that feels fresh to me. Of course I feel sad Heath is no longer in this world, but I also see that although his body is no longer here, his spirit is very much alive and permeates every bit of eternal space there is. He lives inside our hearts, in a real way. I know he lives inside mine. It feels so real that I sometimes experience jolts when I remember he has died.

Some of you that frequent the Planet Heath thread probably know that I am deeply in love with Heath. Not in a romantic way, I simply love him immensely. As I type this, my eyes well up. I watched many interviews with the boys, Ang Lee…and it is through these that I got to know Heath, the incredibly loving and gentle human being that he was, and I have grown to love him in an inexplicable way.

Now, I love Jake also, there isn't anything about Jake not to love. There isn’t anyone I do not love to be honest. I still choose who I hang around with, befriend…but I carry a lot of love in my heart for all my brothers and sisters. And then, out of the blue it seems, someone comes along, even someone that has passed away, and steals your heart, and in turn, you give it readily and freely. Heath has my heart. This may sound crazy but it’s the truth… I feel safe in sharing this here, I would not anywhere else. One of my sisters and my daughters know I love him but they do not understand the depth, and the last thing I want is for this to become something to joke or tease me about, so I keep it close to my heart for the most part. Thank you for this safe haven to share something very precious that I hold dear.

I have done a great deal of healing and letting go in the last two years. My heart is expanding infinitely and it is as though the movie, the SS, and my beloved Heath have entered my heart and are enabling a wider and deeper expansion. That is how BBM has affected me, it has blessed and gifted me with such love. It has made me a more sensitive and compassionate human being. I am very easily moved and touched by life, by my brothers and sisters’ lives, their heartbreaks, their joys, their kindnesses and generosities, by the world at large. I have come to see all of us inhabiting this universe, as family. This forum is proof of that. Another way love unites us all.

I have felt very welcomed by the members of this forum. I have not been visiting long and I am EXTREMELY late to the party, yet that does not take away how everyone I have come in contact with has been sweet, helpful, kind, generous, fun-loving and supportive. The writing skills and the insights shared are phenomenal. Reading and taking a wee part in the sharing has brought me a lot of joy these last few months. I have cried, I have laughed my a** off, and I have been moved by many of your words, whether they are written of late or from ten years ago. It has enriched my BBM experience in a way that would not have been possible otherwise. I feel truly blessed, thank you.

Even though we have never met in person, I feel love for all of you. I love the human beings that you are and I feel the connection of our spirit, our essence, that is where I feel we join in sameness. For me, it’s all about love, only about love, for when everything is said and done, when one day we will find ourselves moving onto the next phase of this eternal adventure called life, love is all we get to bring with us and leave behind, it is the only reality. Our Heath is pretty awesome proof of that!

Thank you for the opportunity to share and if you have read to the end, bless you my friends!

All my love,
Michelle
xox







« Last Edit: July 14, 2018, 08:26:39 PM by heavenonearth »
I know a love that will never grow old.

Offline gattaca

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3775 on: July 09, 2018, 03:47:56 PM »
^^^^^
That is awesome post. We are glad you found us.  Welcome.  V.

Offline heavenonearth

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3776 on: July 09, 2018, 05:13:17 PM »
^^^^^
That is awesome post. We are glad you found us.  Welcome.  V.

Thank you, V.
I know a love that will never grow old.

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3777 on: July 09, 2018, 09:14:22 PM »
What a great post!  Thanks so much for sharing!

Offline killersmom

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3778 on: July 09, 2018, 11:02:55 PM »
Thanks so much for your wonderful and heartfelt post, Michelle. It brings back so many memories of my first reactions to the movie and SS, and then my finding a home here when there was so much questioning in those first years. Also finding my Brokie Family, who are the only ones who understand all of it. 12 years later, I am still so very grateful that I found this place and have so many 'chosen' Brokie family members.

I have always felt that each and every one of us come to this movie and story in our own time. Every single person here has an individual reaction in our minds and hearts that is ours and ours alone. Yes, the reactions and thoughts may be similar, but there is always just a little difference that makes it uniquely our own, but that all of us can relate to. I think this is why many of us came here and some of us remain.

You saw the movie initially and it didn't punch you in the heart, because, (and this is just my personal take on it) I feel you did not need what the story and characters had to offer at that time. When it got into your head that you wanted to see it again, all these years later, you viewed it several times, and this time it did punch you in the heart, because this is the time in your life is when you need what the characters, the story, and the message have to offer.

Luckily the forum is still here, and enough of us left that it still is a place of refuge and comfort and understanding. I love that we still have people who are just discovering the movie for the first time and have these unexplainable reactions to it, and find us here, and people like you, who have revisited and have reacted and have come here to join our Brokie family.

Thanks so much for sharing all this with us. It makes it all worthwhile.
Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.
Call Me By Your Name

Offline Sara B

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #3779 on: July 10, 2018, 01:07:13 AM »
Michelle, I was another that was not so very deeply moved by Brokeback on my first viewing, good as I thought it was. It was about 2 years later when I recorded it from the television and it really “hit”me. I watched it over and over, and, like you, fell in love with the film, the characters, the actors, the music, and, a little later and in a different way, the short story. That was 10 years ago now, but the totally unexpected consequences are still with me - friendships, interests, travelling etc.

Wishing you well on your journey!
Sara from England.
“When we grow older still we’ll speak about those two young men as if they were two strangers..... And we’ll want to call it envy, because to call it regret would break our hearts.”

Call Me by Your Name, André Aciman.