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Author Topic: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued  (Read 480164 times)

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #60 on: July 23, 2007, 06:13:25 PM »
Myrine, there is no reason to apologize for your post!

Thank you for taking time to write it, and share it all with us, and adding to our experiences!

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #61 on: July 23, 2007, 06:14:55 PM »
MiralParis7, thank you for your post as well, and adding to our experiences as well!

look forward to getting to know you, too!

Offline bradINblue

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #62 on: July 23, 2007, 07:08:02 PM »
Myrine, thanks for sharing your impact story. Many common threads with so many of us. It's also nice to hear your perception of the tolerance in others. We are lucky to be living in 2007 and not 1963. Set good examples in your life (which it sounds like you are doing) and accept you for you and your mother will come around me thinks.

Brad
'The maker keeps making, but I finally broke through. I love you Steve.'

Offline paintedshoes

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #63 on: July 23, 2007, 11:26:03 PM »
Myrine....

Nellie, Brad, PowerofLove, have stated it beautifully already.  Welcome, darling friend.  What you say is important,and we are grateful.  Thank you, honey, and WELCOME HOME.
"Miracles do happen, dear friend(s).  Miracles are real."- Boris 
"There are only two things we know: the cosmos exists and we are imbedded within the cosmos.  Everything else is speculation and discovery."- Caithness's dad
Ing's space:Ingyllenhaal+Ingstier+Ing-Myster+Ingwer+IngCannesBabe+darlING

Offline AWT

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #64 on: July 24, 2007, 03:52:55 AM »
Myrine,

Please don't feel you're rambling - That was a beautiful, eloquent post.

Everyone arrived here one way or another because BBM is one of those once-in-a-lifetime films that force you to hold a mirror to yourself and finally realise that you have no option but to be authentic in your life.
In my case, I will have to move out of the family home but even in my darkest moments I know that once the dust settles my wife will always remain my best friend.

Andy

 
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The four films that finally opened my heart and changed my life forever:
American Beauty, Brokeback Mountain, The Ice Storm, Lost in Translation

Offline freetraveller

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #65 on: July 24, 2007, 04:18:00 AM »
Myrine,
what a moving, heartfelt post.
Welcome here and don't be afraid of "rambling" more often.
Your reactions to the movie are so similar to mine and to many others, I'm sure.
I didn't cry when I saw it the first time, I was mostly in shock. It took me a second, and third viewing, to let the full impact of the movie hit me hard and to move me like no other movie had done before.

Best wishes,
Travellers are those who find what they were not looking for...

Offline JohnnyX

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #66 on: July 24, 2007, 07:11:33 AM »
Hi there. This is Miral Paris. I have a new address, though, cause I forgot my old one.

My story is that BBM put me in touch with the part of me that misses passion and romance. I had that when I was dating, but I have really missed it in my marriage. I love my hubby--he is truly my soulmate--because for various reasons he's not the passionate type; doesn't like kissing and not much interested in sex. I had talked before that now that we are 46 and 51, I felt that that passionate time of my life was gone. Well, maybe if he dies first I'll be a 70-year-old match.com person.

Anyway, things are looking up! I took the reins (ha) and acted very differently ... "

Hello Miral. My apologies for not having answered your questions to me on the original Affected thread.

There, you asked me this:
"First, to Johnny X: I can't believe we have so much in common. Both partners with skin diseases? You'll have to explain how I can send a private message so I can ask you more about that.

Confused: You spoke about a wife, then also a man partner who broke your heart. I can think of several scenarios under which that might happen, but I'l rather be filled in...."


My responses:
First: PMs: When you log on, a box at the top of the page says something like:
"Hello MiralParis7 you have xxx messages ..."   The NUMBER of messages will be underlined. Just click on that hyperlink and it will take you to the PM facility. There you can read each one.
To reply, just hit "Quote" and put your comments AFTER the last quote box on the page.
You can edit the quote, just by going into it and deleting whatever you don't want to send.
(just don't delete the stuff within square brackets though, as they are the cues to the system for the quotes.)
You can also write WITHIN that quotation if you wish, but try to use a different colour, all capitals, etc. to differentiate your comments from the original.

Alternatively, instead of hitting "Quote", just hit "Reply", where you just start writing whatever you want; and none of the original message will be included. (unless you copy and paste it from the copy of it further down the page).  HTH somewhat.


NEXT: on to ME. My apologies again, this time for the confusion which I caused by being too brief in my reply. My stories are in Affected, but I will try to give you here a brief synopsis of how BBM affected me.

I saw BBM, and came to this site, as a straight, long-married monogamous man, with a loving wife, and two adult children.

Several years ago I saw a psychologist after realising that I had fallen in love with a male work colleague. BUT I was emphatic that it was purely an emotional love, and NOT physical or sexual.
That psychologist suggested that I should do some reading about male sexuality; and suggested the studies of Masters and Johnson to start with.  Well, I still haven't got to them, but have read a lot elsewhere on the topic. This enquiry process impelled me to see BBM.  Like you and so many of our friends on here, I was blown away by it, and received the Kick in the Guts from it which many of us recognise.  Most of all, I was outraged at the true INJUSTICES which that film portrayed, as suffered by males who love other males.  BTW: Jack and Ennis are 3 years older than I am; so I can relate very well to their contexts in SO MANY ways.

After reading on this site for a long time, I finally raised the courage to join, and to post on Affected.  In those pre-troll days on here, we could PM each other immediately upon joining, and I started PMs with a few fellow-travellers in here.

Within days, after spending up to 6 hours online together each night, I knew that I had fallen head-over-heels in love with another man on this list; who is also married -- but to another man.   So THAT is why my original reply to you was so confusing.
He was very supportive and understanding and loving, in response to my emotional turmoil at so many things, including the fact that I still did (and still do) love my wife DEEPLY and wish to spend the rest of my life with her; AND at my heterosexual and homophobic realisation for the first time in my life that I wanted  to have a physical relationship with this new wonderful man in my life. (He and I got into cyber-sex). The love that he and I developed, however, soon caused him emotional turmoil; and we had both decided previously that if either of our marriages became at risk because of our relationship, then it would have to end. Before long we had to end it: just over 11 months ago. I still CRAVE him; but at long last the pain has finally gone! Just the love and the craving and wishing and hoping etc remains. He refuses to reply to my messages. (I can understand that in the circumstances; but it still hurts me greatly).   What has saved me has been the love of two very special other men on this list, who I treasure greatly, and have had the great pleasure of meeting in person. I am also being sustained by wonderful and regular communications with several other very special people from this list.

So, where am I now?  By falling in love in this way, I have broken my wife's heart; and he has broken my heart. Two broken hearts! But my wife is wonderfully loving and supportive, and sticks by me through some very tough times for both of us. 

And yet, I do not regret having seen BBM.  I do not regret falling in love with that gorgeous man. I TREASURE my new-found loving friends, and hope that we might be very close friends for the rest of our lives. Their daily messages enrich my life. Every day is like Xmas Day when I receive their loving messages. I feel blessed in so many ways.

So dear Miral, there you have the nutshell version.

I am so thrilled to read in your most recent post that YOU have now managed to channel the emotional and psychological impact of BBM into the new-found relationship with your husband. Warmest wishes are sent to you, for a happy and successful continuation of that process.

Feel free to send me PMs when you are able, and ask whatever questions you wish to. I am happy to answer them to the best of my ability.

Bye for now: JohnnyX.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2007, 07:48:10 AM by JohnnyX »
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

The happiest people don't have the best of everything.  They just make the best of everything. 

Jack & Ennis DID make the best of their situations. For 20 glorious years! Don't forget those 20 years of LOVE!

Offline PowerOfLove

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #67 on: July 25, 2007, 01:16:35 PM »
Myrine, thanks for sharing your impact story. Many common threads with so many of us. It's also nice to hear your perception of the tolerance in others. We are lucky to be living in 2007 and not 1963. Set good examples in your life (which it sounds like you are doing) and accept you for you and your mother will come around me thinks.

Brad

I agree Brad!
By the way, love the pic!!  ;)
-Love Is A Force Of Nature-

Offline chapeaugris

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #68 on: July 26, 2007, 12:18:07 AM »
Just posting here so this thread comes to the top. The old Affected Me thread is still getting posts so things are getting a bit mixed up. Maybe it should be locked?

Offline Rob in Puyallup

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #69 on: July 26, 2007, 03:59:33 AM »
Hi gang,

Just me... letting everyone know that I just watched our movie again. Thirty-five to forty times now, I think.

Worth reminding everyone that it's why we're all here, loving and supporting each other.

Hugs all, so glad we all found this place where we can share our selves with each other,
Rob
Old Brokeback got me good...

Offline andy/Claude

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #70 on: July 26, 2007, 04:50:02 AM »
It's a wonderful testimony to the power of our beloved story/movie that we see the kinda posts that this Forum has seen from day one and continue to see with new faces/names coming outa lurkdom or are new. Someone mentioned the time scale in getting over this movie but as I see it there aint no such thing. Time scales to the sifting and sorting of our emotions and frustrations etc sure, but this movie and it's effects will live with us all for as long as we are on this earth and to that I say hooray! We are all powerfully processed by the pain and persuasion of the fate of J&E with no small thanks to Jake and Heath and personally speaking, nothing bar nothing has affected me more than BBM and the joy of being part of this extended family whether it be cyber or in the flesh is almost indescribable. We have all been enriched, encouraged, comforted and turned upside down by the efforts of a smart lady called Annie Proulx, the fall out of which is way beyond anything Mount St Helens could deliver, and some.
the shirts hanging on a nail shudder slightly in the draft.

Offline Rob in Puyallup

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #71 on: July 26, 2007, 04:53:35 AM »
Andy...

Can I kiss you for that?
Old Brokeback got me good...

Offline andy/Claude

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #72 on: July 26, 2007, 04:57:51 AM »
Andy...

Can I kiss you for that?

I'll take a cyber one now and a real one on the 19th, ok? ;)
the shirts hanging on a nail shudder slightly in the draft.

Offline Rob in Puyallup

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #73 on: July 26, 2007, 05:01:52 AM »
Andy...

Can I kiss you for that?

I'll take a cyber one now and a real one on the 19th, ok? ;)
Sounds excellent to me!

Nick leaves here on the afternoon of the 18th, British Airways... a shame you're gonna miss each other...
Old Brokeback got me good...

Offline andy/Claude

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Re: How Brokeback Affected Me--continued
« Reply #74 on: July 26, 2007, 05:08:40 AM »
I'll have to leave a momento on the plane for him.....( spot the BBM logo) looks like he'll be going out on the one I come in on. Shame. :'(
the shirts hanging on a nail shudder slightly in the draft.