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Author Topic: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me  (Read 102816 times)

Offline Bethie

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #45 on: December 25, 2007, 07:32:13 PM »
Y'all ready for a long!ass post here?  ;=   :D

God! I can't believe it. My two year anniversay is coming up soon, next month as a matter
of fact.

Guh!! I remember my first post here. I thought I was going to throw up, wanted to throw
myself off a cliff, had the worst shame attack of all time... posting my reaction to a movie.
How dumb was that?

Then, Killersmom, aka Auntie, aka Linda, responded to my post and what do you know?
LOL.  ;D I'm still here. Jackie, my darling friend, as she is, too, to all of us, responded to
my post and really eased my way into the forum. Thank you!!!!!

If it wasn't for this place, I doubt I'd be here today. The forum saved me. The Slash Threads saved me.
The Effect me Thread saved me. For those, I'm still on the planet. That was the closest I've
ever come to saying good-bye. That pain was unbelievable, unbearable, but now? I miss it.
Sounds weird, but it's true. The ghost of that pain is still there , whispers every now and then and I
hang onto that, because that keeps me close to Jack and Ennis, and all people who have been denied.

I've been to hell and back again with some things that I've encountered here on the forum, by meeting
and becoming close to some members here that were/are of this forum. Really turned me off that this
movie could dredge up so much hate and anger. It made me look at myself and the motives of others.
I decided that I can't control them, can't make them see/act differently. Let be, let be.

Breaks my heart that some things have come to pass, that were totally un-necessary.  >:(  :-\

But the friendships that I have made, and that are now long lasting, to this day, far out weigh the crap
I've been through and been made to feel. This is the first time in my life where I have so much gladness
and goodwill in my heart, it scares me. I'm happy!! Who'da thought.  ::)

All in all, the one thing I can say that is for true and for sure, is that Dave Cullen is a god! and if it
were not for this forum, I wouldn't be the person I am today, I wouldn't have the friends that I have and
made, world wide even!

Thanks to Annie and Co., Dave C. and everyone here for the best damn two years of my life. The places
I've been, the things that I have done!!  ;D  :o  ::)  :D Woot!! Two years! Is it possible to be this affected
by a movie, by two fictional beings? I want to spend the next two years with these guys and people who
think the same way. I know that for some it is/was time to move on. I miss them, and wish they'd a hung
around. It's rare to meet people who actually "get it". Ah, well.  :-\

I'm afraid though, that I may be the last person standing here on this forum when it is all said and done.
But that's okay. It'll make my heart glad.

oxoxoxox

Beth

ennis is the brave one for having taken his hand. gnash 

He lay his head down, 'n with a whisper light enough to be carried up to the heavens unaided said, “G'night, Bud. Love you.

Offline Miaisland

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #46 on: December 25, 2007, 07:44:51 PM »
Bethie, sometimes, being new here, it's not so easy to understand everything that has been going on.

I'm still just so happy I've found this place and met you all.
“Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.” - Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Offline Bethie

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #47 on: December 25, 2007, 08:08:43 PM »
Bethie, sometimes, being new here, it's not so easy to understand everything that has been going on.

I'm still just so happy I've found this place and met you all.

It's all water under the bridge, now!!

So glad that you are here.  :-*

There is not a day that goes by where I am not grateful. I've given up on trying to figure
things out. I now concentrate on what I have.
ennis is the brave one for having taken his hand. gnash 

He lay his head down, 'n with a whisper light enough to be carried up to the heavens unaided said, “G'night, Bud. Love you.

Offline Miaisland

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #48 on: December 25, 2007, 08:13:41 PM »
Bethie, sometimes, being new here, it's not so easy to understand everything that has been going on.

I'm still just so happy I've found this place and met you all.

It's all water under the bridge, now!!

So glad that you are here.  :-*

There is not a day that goes by where I am not grateful. I've given up on trying to figure
things out. I now concentrate on what I have.

So good to hear!

I am greatful too. And I am so glad that I have met you here!
 :-*
“Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.” - Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Offline ingmarnicebbmt

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #49 on: December 26, 2007, 03:45:39 AM »

Beth, what a post! Yee-haw!

Very moving, very candid, very 'true'.

I loved reading it, and I am very glad to find parts and aspects of myself in what you've written so beautifully.

WISE UP

Ing Kräddi Böll & Ingmariposa & Ingelspringel & Ingalicious & IngWriter & Annbilivöbäll WORD WIZARD

sausage-on-a-roll-poster & charkuterimästare



"And maybe, he thought, they'd never got much farther than that."

Offline janjo

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #50 on: December 26, 2007, 12:40:44 PM »
How has the DCF affected me? I spend a great deal of my life here. I love it. I have met, both on line, and in person some absolutely wonderful people. I've learned to write a cogent argument. I've learned to write short fiction. I, despite being straight, will stand up for the rights of my gay brothers and sisters at the drop of a hat. I have started researching gay history. (It has done something for my IT skills too)
What a wonderful life changing rollercoaster it has been.
Mostly, it's the people. I know quite a few gay people in real life, but none so well as I know so many of you from your writings, and communications. There have been ups and downs, but mostly such understanding and kindness.
We can stand together in love and solidarity.
All because of DCF!
Brokeback short stories at storybyjanjo.livejournal.com

"Are birds free from the chains of the skyway?"
Ballad in plain D: Bob Dylan

Offline Bethie

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #51 on: December 26, 2007, 12:50:21 PM »
Hear! Hear!!

 ;D

Thanks janjo for your post.
ennis is the brave one for having taken his hand. gnash 

He lay his head down, 'n with a whisper light enough to be carried up to the heavens unaided said, “G'night, Bud. Love you.

Online CellarDweller115

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #52 on: December 26, 2007, 04:07:03 PM »
I joined this forum at 5:55 PM on Dec. 26th, 2005

It's now 6:05 on Dec. 26th, 2007.

It has been a wild ride for the past two years, and I'm so glad that you all have been a part of it with me!

2 years after I first came out, I thought to myself that I grew more as a man in those two years, than I had before.

I feel like I can say the same thing now, two years after first finding the forum.

I will never be the same, and I am thankful for that.

Offline killersmom

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #53 on: December 27, 2007, 02:36:44 AM »
On December 26, 2005, 08:19:06 AM, I made up my screen name, my password and joined in here. It was the best thing I could have done. I was two weeks away from seeing the movie for the first time, but had read the short story and had seen so many of the trailers, foreign and English, and many more scenes taken from the movie since it had opened long before at the film festivals.

Even though I had not seen it yet, I felt that something momentous was going to happen. Even after all that I still was not prepared for my reaction.

I had posted just a bit before seeing the movie, just enough to get around, but once I saw it, this forum became my refuge. I had no one to talk to personally about all that was going on with me, so coming and talking to everyone here, sharing the same things we all were experiencing, kept me sane.

Sharing these last two years here with everyone has been one of the best experiences of my life. The forum has been here to help me through the various stages of my reaction to the movie, the people have been here to support me then at the early stages, and now to support me in my real life.

The family I have made here has been one of the most important blessings of my life. Without all of them, my life now would less rich, experiences less full.

Thanks Dave, thanks Melisande, thanks Greg, especially thanks Gnash, and thanks all of you I am blessed to count as friends and family. As Dave said above, this is home.
Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.
Call Me By Your Name

Offline Trigger Hippie

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #54 on: December 27, 2007, 03:17:17 AM »
The places I've been, the things that I have done!!  ;D  :o  ::)  :D Woot!!


Just about sums it up for me too Bethie

Offline Trigger Hippie

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #55 on: December 27, 2007, 03:18:43 AM »
Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*


Sweetheart, I think that may be Ricky!!!

besos!

Offline mcnell1120

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #56 on: December 27, 2007, 02:45:17 PM »
Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*


Sweetheart, I think that may be Ricky!!!

besos!

ahhhhhhhhhh....whut?!?....lmao

XO
RICKY MARTIN ,tu eres mi Kiki !

Offline Dave Cullen

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #57 on: December 27, 2007, 03:20:19 PM »
it's so nice reading so many stories of what an impact the place has made. i think that's the nicest christmas present i got this week.

Offline fritzkep

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #58 on: December 27, 2007, 05:23:13 PM »
Your favorite Rican

Nellie ;D  :-*


Sweetheart, I think that may be Ricky!!!

besos!

Ricky was Cuban.  :D

Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."

Offline milomorris

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Re: How the Dave Cullen Forum Has Affected Me
« Reply #59 on: December 27, 2007, 06:33:06 PM »
OK..here goes...

I lurked around over here for months before I finally started posting. I had been (and still am) posting at the BBM Yahoo groups. I found them first after seeing the movie and reading the OS. I think it might have been Connie Bailey who made a reference to the Slash Links. So I would pop in over here to look up stories.

Please understand, finding that resource was HUGE for me. I don't read BBM fanfiction for entertainment purposes (well...ok...sometimes). No, I find the stories therapeutic. BBM opened up a whole can of emotional and spiritual whoop-ass inside me. There were and still are many issues that I needed some help dealing with, and putting into perspective. The authors who write fanfiction deal with most if not all of those issues in their stories.

The person that got me to stop lurking was amdaz. I'm not even sure if he's here any more. He saw something I posted about Cold Case:Forever Blue in the Yahoo group, and invited me to post in that thread over here. So I stopped lurking. That means I've been posting here for a little over a year.

Its been good. A guy can always use more friends, right?

- I enjoy the Slash Discussion thread, as long as there's not a flame war doing on  >:D

- Early on I got some great feedback about my partner's OCD in the Discussion about Mental Disorders thread

- Ive learned all kinds of interesting things in the Gay History thread. Michael is an invaluable resource.

- There have been many good discussions in the Media Coverage thread, and Is society really as accepting as it claims.

- I enjoy reading the experiences and thoughts of others in the How Brokeback Affected Me thread.

- My partner is happy that I'm spending time talking to people online who are not opera singers  :D

I think the coolest thing about this place is that there is such a wide range of discussions going on in all kinds of threads all the time. We even have an opera thread!! Honestly, there's more going on here at DCF than one person could possibly keep up with, but its fun trying.

Milo
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

--Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.