Have been trying to put my thoughts together since first mentioning this idea to Dave and Meli - Here is where I am so far....
Being a member of any internet forum has been an incredibly learning experience for me…
When I first read Brokeback in 2005, it floored my world, and I did not know how to find people to talk to about it. Through some google searching I ended up finding Dave’s original blog, and made a post. I felt incredibly exposed and thought that I had laid myself open. There were several replies, and I got an email from Parenthetical Greg, and we became friends, and he really got me through the next couple of months before the film came out.
Every time I saw the trailer on the website it made me cry, and listening to Teddy Thompson’s album at that time continuously is synonymous with the way that I was feeling, desolate, alone and missing out on important LIFE…
The forum came into being in December 2005, and I was not able to join it – It was too BIG and intimidating and it felt like everyone in the world was reading what I wrote, and knew exactly who I was.
Greg again persuaded me, and signed up my membership.
At first I was nervous and then found the thread for UK members started by HelenUK, and it was great to interact with other UK members, and as the film released in the UK, to talk about the impact here and understand it…. Also to read of all the other experiences around the world, although not living there not fully understanding.
The forum was an utter sanctuary of people who knew exactly where I was in my life as they were in the same place.
Over the next few months it gave an opportunity to get to know some of the posters better, and through chat in the diner, become cyber friends with many…
As in life when you meet a new bunch of people, some that you are firstly close to drift away, and some you separate yourself from, and then there are those that you become closer and closer to and they become part of your regular life, and enrich it immensely.
My relationship with the forum has at times been stormy… Sometimes I get so incensed by the attitudes and opinions of some posters that it makes it necessary to disappear for a while, but not to the point of deleting my account. I want to be able to look back at what I wrote, and even if it’s not how I feel now, it’s a reminder of how I felt then, at that point in time. Like looking at old photos…Feeling that nostalgia.
Whoever thought that we would get to that stage with an internet forum.LOL
BUT above all else, when there are things happening in my life the forum is still like a haven of hope, and to find familiar and NEW faces all the time is immensely important to my life.
My forum life, compliments my real life, and I do not get the two confused or rolled into one – It just does not work that way for me.
If three years ago someone said to me that I would spend holidays and Christmas/New Year with a bunch of people I met on the internet – I would have told them they were MAD!!!!!!!
Yet here I am, and so grateful for the support, love and friendship that I have. Am not going to name names, otherwise I am sure I would miss someone out, but you know who you are…
But I feel that I must especially mention:
Sarah/BBMBLISS - You are a special friend and I am really grateful to have you in my life
Jari/Boris - You are like a big brother to me - I love the time we spend together and all the wisdom you impart
Jackie/PaintedShoes - To me the love, affection and care you give radiates from your heart and to me you are the matriach of the forum
Nellie/McNell - We met in 2006 and those 3 days with you still have a HUGE impact on me - We have a connection that I am so grateful for
There are literally hundreds more, but enough gushing for now
And special thanks to Dave Cullen – I know why you originally set up your blog, but to have the forum grow and grow, and to continue to put your time and energy into it is amazing. I know how much the arguing and disagreements are irritating, but thanks for sticking with it all, and continuing to add your name and energy to the forum…
I know I will be here for its duration, in varying amounts, but here…