The Ultimate Brokeback Forum

Author Topic: And Thanks for All the Fish  (Read 17108 times)

Offline Melisande

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And Thanks for All the Fish
« on: March 27, 2009, 07:45:07 PM »
On December 9, 2005, I stumbled home from seeing Brokeback Mountain for the first of what would turn out to be dozens of times, googled, and somehow found myself on a blog about Brokeback where people were commenting so fast I could barely keep up. I read for a long time, comforted to find that others were affected by the movie the same way I was. For a few days, days in which I saw the movie a few more times, I lurked, not feeling as if I had anything to contribute. Then the blog owner posted that straight women were welcome and invited to post, and I choked something out, I forget what. And I continued to read, struggling to keep up as the posts came fast and furious.

 I was a member of an online forum about a series of books, and moderator of a writersí community, and it occurred to me that this blog community had everything needed for a forum: people who were passionately interested in the subject and were posting about it. I e-mailed the blog owner, Dave Cullen, suggesting an online forum. I told him itíd be easy. After a bit of persuasion and explanation on my part, he got interested, and after a lot of phone calls between Dave, Parenthetical Greg, Jack, and me, the forum went live on December 24. Christmas with our friends and families was a bit abbreviated that year.

*time passes*

Itís been quite a ride. Thereíve been ups and downs and sideways. I never, ever, expected the forum to be here in 2009. The fact that itís still going is a testament to the power of Brokeback Mountain and to the people here who care so much about the movie, each other, and the forum. Iíve learned more than I can tell you and have made some wonderful friends. Iíve laughed, Iíve cried, Iíve thrown things. 

And now itís time for me to say good-bye to moderating. Iíve given all I have to give to the forum, and itís given back a hundredfold. Iím not leaving. Iím moving on to Senior Advisor. Youíll see me here and there. Mostly in Le Bar.

BrokenOkie/Glenn will be the new Chief Moderator. Glenn has been here since forever, has been a moderator for almost that long, and loves this place almost as much as I do, as is shown by his acceptance of the job.

Thank you to all of the moderators, past and present, who have done such a wonderful job and who stuck it out through thick and thin. Thank you, Lydia, for doing what you do and being who you are. Thank you, Linda, for always, always being there for me. Thank you, Dave, for being the best boss ever, the one who listens and thinks and talks and laughs with me. And most of all, thank all of you for making this place what it is.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2009, 08:21:25 PM by Melisande »
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Offline killersmom

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2009, 08:03:19 PM »
You are more than welcome Meli.
You have been there for all of us, (and always been there for me!)

Thanks for suggesting this to Dave (and then convincing him), and for the ideas for setting it up, all the dedicated hours you have spent here, leading us and for everything you have contributed to make this the wonderful place it is today!

You have been and continue to be the heart of the forum.

My deepest love and respect to you.


I am so glad you are going to still be around, but I am lucky because we can see each other all the time!!! :D
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Offline lawgoddess

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2009, 08:11:11 PM »

I've sure learned a lot from you, like how to be more "moderate."

Really, all the good times so many of us have had, the Slash Bashes, the friendships, are because of your vision for this place.

Thank you so much, and I'll still serve you martinis in Le Bar any time you want.

And I'm glad you aren't leaving entirely.

Thank you. :-*

It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do. Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility.

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2009, 08:16:09 PM »

Thanks so much for taking this position in the first place, and for your hard work and dedication to the forum.  It has been great working with you, and I know I'll be seeing you in the future.

Also, welcome BrokenOkie (Glenn) as our new Chief Mod.  Thank you for taking on this new responsiblity!

Offline dejavu

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2009, 08:48:39 PM »

It is always hard to see someone leave, so I'm glad to know that you aren't leavng entirely.

When I read about all the work you have put into this forum, and how important you were in founding it, I know that I owe you a great deal of thanks for making it possible for this forum to thrive and succeed.  The forum has become an important part of my life, because of all the wonderful people from around the world that I have met here.  Without you, it wouldn't have happened.

I'm also glad that I had the chance to meet you in person, and hope we will meet again somewhere, sometime.

Best of luck in the future, both here and in the rest of your life.

Jack's from Texas.
Texans don't drink coffee?

Offline KittyHawk

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2009, 08:53:52 PM »
Meli, I've always thought of you as our Forum Mom. The Forum wouldn't be here if not for you. Many thanks for helping to create it and to maintain it in such fine form. I've seen forums which aren't well moderated and it is not a pretty site. Performing the Chief Mod job in an even-handed way is like walking a tight-rope and you've done it with grace.

I'm glad you're only moving up and not out, since I still reserve the right to ask your advice!
Have fun playing on the Forum now, but behave. It would be awkward for Glenn and the moderators to have to crack down on you!

- Lydia

Offline Rob in Puyallup

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2009, 10:20:00 PM »

Thanks for being such an important part of this forum... for causing it's formation. I have no idea where I'd've turned if this place wasn't available way back in the early days of January '06 when I joined.

Glad to know that you're not leaving us... hope someday in the not too distant future to be able to travel south again to see you and the rest of the gang!

Big warm hugs,
Old Brokeback got me good...

Offline Ellen (tellyouwhat)

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #7 on: March 27, 2009, 10:31:12 PM »
AW Meli I understand your decision, and you deserve a break--

but I am sad too, it's the end of an era!

Thanks so much for your role in starting this forum, which has been such a big part of our lives -- and helped me cope with Ennis and Jack's story.

sometimes I think life is just a rodeo the trick is to ride and make it 'til the bell --john fogerty

Offline Dave Cullen

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2009, 10:52:04 PM »
. . . Christmas with our friends and families was a bit abbreviated that year.

*time passes*

It’s been quite a ride.

Hahaha. Yup, it was abbreviated. And I wouldn't change a bit of it.

It has been an amazing ride. I certainly never pictured this. And I could not have asked for a better riding partner--either professionally, to guide so much of the forum, or personally, just to share it with.

What a sad day this is for me. But I knew it had to come eventually, and Meli has certainly done her share. Every now and then over the years she mentioned the possibility of moving on, and I always panicked a little and begged and prayed. Finally, though, she put it to me the way she always does: straight. She had had a great time, but was ready to move on. And what could I say. Nobody ever worked harder, or cared more.

I probably could have begged another six months out of her, but that didn't seem fair. So I just prayed this time, and they were not answered.

Thank God we talked her into staying on as Senior Adviser. (Though it didn't actually take any convincing. Meli is a class act, and still cares about us, so that was an easy sell.) I've gotten so used to her making the tough calls that I would feel totally astray without her.

And of course we would not be here right now without Meli. I never would have had the idea to change this from one single comment thread into a real forum. We could not have gone much further with that old comment thread. Heaven sent us Meli to envision this. (Or some version of this. God knows she didn't quite picture this! LOL.)

I thought she was crazy at first, or crazily optimistic, or something. But she's a convincing person. I could sense her steadiness and sensibility right off. She inspired trust from Day One, and that trust has never wavered.

Meli also had to invent the role of Chief Mod. I got what a mod was, and quickly realized I couldn't handle it all, and I knew right off who I wanted running the show. I hardly ever make emphatic statements like this, but I can honestly say, I never regretted that decision for one moment. All I thought was, "Thank God!" I don't know what we would have done without her.

Anyway, it took awhile (a few weeks?) to figure out what our respective roles were--what she should do and what I should do, and how that would work. And like any good leader, she was also good at what we used to call "managing your manager" at Arthur Andersen. (In this case, she was the manager, so I guess it was managing your site owner or something, but you get the idea.) Everyone has a boss, and it's the really great leaders who also know how and when to lead their boss, and to say, delicately, OK, this is what I need from you. This is how you can help me be a good Chief Mod. Here's what it would be good for you to stay out of. Not everyone has the tact to say that kind of stuff to their boss, in a way they will hear. But with Meli, it was easy to hear, because she was always so damn right! She was/is a wise lady. How can you argue with someone who makes so much damn sense? Why would you want to?

I'm just trying to give you guys a sense of what it was like for me working with her. She had such a deft touch. I'm approaching 50 and I've worked with a whole lot of people in my life, and Meli has been one of the best.

I will miss you, Meli. Hopefully you won't stray far, so I won't miss you much.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2009, 11:00:32 PM by Dave Cullen »

Offline Tigs

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2009, 01:32:45 AM »
Thanks for everything you've done for the forum Meli!!

Congratulations Mr Brokenokie on your new challenge!!!

Sal  ;D
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Offline huntinbuddy

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2009, 08:01:09 AM »
Meli & Glenn, and many others; thanks so much for all the effort and time you have given this place many of us call home.
DCF is where I go to unwind everyday.  So much more substance here than the online, depressing newspapers.
My normal work is that of network administration, and I doubt many really know what it takes to keep this site running.
It takes a bunch of work....everyday; and I'm grateful for those who have dedicated their time.  Thanks.
Life is worth living fully. Live each moment like you are going to die tomorrow.

Offline djbdc9

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2009, 08:53:56 AM »

Meli, wanted to add my thanks for all the work you have done since the near beginnings of the Forum.
So glad you are not leaving, and that you are moving on to another position with us.

And Glenn("having been around for ever") ;D 
glad to hear that you have accepted the position of Head Moderator!
Hope to talk with you soon.
(((((((((((((((Hugs to you both)))))))))))))))

Offline testadura

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2009, 09:05:41 AM »
Meli - thank you for everything you've done for DCF and for everything you are. 

I'll always love Brokeback for the wonderful experience it was but also for the wonderful people it brought into my life - like you.  :-*

Much love always,

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Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.  John F. Kennedy

Offline jack

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2009, 10:10:30 AM »


thanks.  it has been a ride hasn't it?
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Offline andy/Claude

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Re: And Thanks for All the Fish
« Reply #14 on: March 28, 2009, 10:45:16 AM »
My thanks to you Mel for doing all that you've done these few years and here's wishing you all the best as you step aside but not out of sight.

Three cheers for Mel and another three for Glen as he takes the reins... ;D

Andy :-* :-*
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