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Author Topic: Sharing life's vicissitudes  (Read 90656 times)

Offline lovelyamazing

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #30 on: April 18, 2009, 11:15:57 AM »
What you talk about, Maya and Jack, rings so many bells with me..... I also have the experience of growing up an outsider to my own culture, and to the subculture I'm also part of. Never feeling belongingness (?) or at home anywhere..... always on an island of my own....
And I still am, although maybe a little less than before. But that yearning for understanding and identification is always there. The BBM effect has made it both better and worse. Worse because it makes me even less likely to find someone in RL to feel true kinship to, better because here on the forum I've found it to a great deal. What has become one of the most important parts of my life, I don't need to explain here.

Healtwise I'm, hopefully, slowly starting to recover from the depression caused partly, but by no means only, by BBM. Or rather, brought out in the daylight by BBM, since I believe it was always there....and then reinforced by issues at work, among others. And I think the forum is a big part of the healing.

So much to think about here Sonja. I will respond thoughtfully. We have a lot to exchange on this.


"Once in a while
someone comes along
and changes everything
you believe about yourself"

Offline Sason

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #31 on: April 18, 2009, 11:18:54 AM »
(((((((((( Maya ))))))))))

 :-* :-* :-*
It’s a movie about love that knows no boundaries and loneliness that knows no relief

Ennis, a man at war with himself every day of his life

The song may have ended but the melody lingers on

Offline lovelyamazing

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #32 on: April 18, 2009, 11:21:16 AM »
OK folks - I need a big hug.



((((((((((((((((((((Sal))))))))))))))))))) rightaway!

Quote
My cancer is caused by the HPV virus (human papillomavirus), just unprotected sex once with an infected person. But there is no education about HPV and what it can cause, another strain of HPV can cause genital warts, another one causes normal warts. Some people get infected and don't have any symptoms. I would be amazed if there is a high percentage of people who know what it is and how it can be passed along.

Sorry - I am emotional - I have only told my mum so far.

Pass the message about HPV and the best message which is "USE A CONDOM"!!

Sal

Thank you for enlightening me about HPV. I was totally ignorant.

I can well understand the emotion, the anger you must be feeling. I'm glad you've told your mum.
Here are lots of positive vibes from me. 
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"Once in a while
someone comes along
and changes everything
you believe about yourself"

Offline dejavu

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #33 on: April 18, 2009, 01:46:04 PM »
(((((((((((((((((((((Sal))))))))))))))))))))

Another hug from me.  Sending you best wishes at this time.

I, too, am glad you're able to tell your mom and get some comfort from her.
Jack's from Texas.
Texans don't drink coffee?

Offline jack

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #34 on: April 18, 2009, 04:16:50 PM »
sal, to be overly direct, and you can answer me by other means, but ovary schmovary, what is the prognosis for the cancer.  as i never inhabited the women's threads, i was unaware you had dealt with this.  one of my ex-wife's best friends, and a frequent bar crawling companion of mine lost her life to cervical cancer perhaps 30 years ago, and the link to unprotected or frequent sex had been identified back then.  it did not go well for her, so i am concerned.

ps:  post surgical recovery is often hastened by exposure to oodles of sunshine and beaches...
"through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall..."

Offline jack

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #35 on: April 18, 2009, 04:18:13 PM »
ps:  i seem to have gotten the idea for this thread at just about the right time...
"through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall..."

Offline Tigs

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #36 on: April 19, 2009, 12:01:35 AM »
Yes you did Jack - turn on MSN and we can chat!!

Sal  ;D
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Offline Sara B

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #37 on: April 19, 2009, 05:32:33 AM »
((((((Hugs))))))  to all of you posting in this thread, and especially Sal this weekend.


My mother was diagnosed with salivary gland cancer about a year ago.

Today, after the operation, and radiotherapy, she is back to an almost normal life. In the hope that things don't get worse.

I did not write about this in the forum, because I usually don't talk about these things...

Maybe in the future I will be more vocal about this experience.

My love and support to all of you who deal with, or dealt with, a suffering parent.

Daniela, I've been thinking about what you said about 'not talking about these things'.  Thank God I have nothing serious hanging over me or my family at the moment, and when such things have happened to me in the past, well before I  came on the forum, I certainly wouldn't have discussed them with anyone I didn't know 'face to face', as it were.  But now I think I could do.  Though it wouldn't come easily at first, I think it would be a support.

Very best wishes that your mother continues well.
There were only the two of them on the mountain flying in the euphoric, bitter air, looking down on the hawk's back and the crawling lights of vehicles on the plain below, suspended above ordinary affairs....

Offline dahlia

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #38 on: April 22, 2009, 02:45:59 PM »
OK folks - I need a big hug.


Oh Sal.

Please have the biggest hug I am able to send.


Offline dahlia

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #39 on: April 22, 2009, 02:50:01 PM »
there is an abundance of sympathy, which may feel good momentarily, but perhaps not so much empathy, which nourishes the soul. 

one of those sentences of yours that cause me to meditate - and ruminate - deeply...
 ;)


Offline dahlia

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #40 on: April 22, 2009, 02:51:27 PM »
many of us on this forum have grown up outsiders to our own culture, and even the culture of our subsets

Ditto.

Offline dahlia

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #41 on: April 22, 2009, 03:13:20 PM »
Thank you for your support, friends.

When I wrote that I "don't talk about these things" I meant that (Jack expressed it wonderfully) I don't need the cheap simpathy- if you know what I mean.

Many people just speak in vain, many others are truly stressed by the word 'cancer', they simply want to shy away from the idea. And I understand; it is not easy at all to address a suffering person.

This is true, not only here in the Forum, but in daily life as well of course.

It is also true that there are - or were - other reasons for me, to keep this thing private.


A kind of superstition.

My clinging to my over-rated independence.

My difficulty in dealing with my personal daughter-mother relationship.


The human soul is complicated...



Offline Tigs

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #42 on: April 22, 2009, 03:17:18 PM »
.............and the BIGGEST hug back to you Daniela

Sal  :-*
Throwing cows over hedges!!   "Crazy Cat Lady" - MF!!!   I am a toilet!!

Offline Tigs

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #43 on: April 22, 2009, 03:25:34 PM »

Thank you for enlightening me about HPV. I was totally ignorant.

I can well understand the emotion, the anger you must be feeling. I'm glad you've told your mum.
Here are lots of positive vibes from me. 
 :-* :-* :-* :-*
(((((((((((((((((((((Sal))))))))))))))))))))

Another hug from me.  Sending you best wishes at this time.

I, too, am glad you're able to tell your mom and get some comfort from her.
Maya and Debs

My apologies - I seemed to have missed a few posts. Thank you for your positive vibes Maya and your hugs Debs

Sal  :-*
Throwing cows over hedges!!   "Crazy Cat Lady" - MF!!!   I am a toilet!!

Offline alma

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Re: Sharing life's vicissitudes
« Reply #44 on: April 22, 2009, 06:52:10 PM »
Yay for this thread! I'm so happy to find it. Thank you Jack! I will keep up with you all now. Time to catch up and read. Then share later. I feel so happy.