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Author Topic: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend  (Read 14176 times)

Offline doggedstrength

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #45 on: August 31, 2011, 12:43:47 AM »
word for word, Dal was possibly the wittiest writer on this forum:  succinct, charming and devastatingly on point.  he could cut through pretension (including mine) with a single, laserlike turn of phrase.  

yet his writing left an almost carefree afterglow.  i say "almost" because, while he deeply felt the plight of ennis and jack, his lack of pretension kept us all off our high horses.  

what bright, accessible wisdom Dal possessed!  and how blithely he tossed it off, taking a whole range of matters seriously but never himself.  

rest easy, sweet Dal.  you're treasured here.  we needed you.  we know that now without the slightest doubt.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2011, 04:52:21 PM by doggedstrength »
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Offline tfferg

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #46 on: September 01, 2011, 01:43:46 AM »
Somphong asked me to go with him to a temple today because he wanted to make merit for his mother again (She died on 2 July). We took part in a little kruat nam ritual in her name and I used the opportunity to take part in memory of Dal as well.

Offline gnash

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #47 on: September 05, 2011, 08:06:45 AM »
i scratched DAL in the wet gray sand of santa monica beach the other day, watching as the sun set, glowing orange gold red in its typical august-tropical way, waiting as the cool water rose, as the tide rolled in to erase the etching in waves.

a solitary gull landed nearby and seemed to cry out his name. dal! dal! it said, as if to warn us to make haste and leave the shoreline before stars touched the horizon, before cold ocean breezes made bare limbs shiver, before my wet eyes strained to find the way.

i wonder what his art looked like, and what it was he made so busily up to his final days.

"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  Ang Lee


Offline Ellen (tellyouwhat)

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #48 on: September 05, 2011, 11:33:27 AM »

Wow, that is beautiful, Jimmy, thank you for posting.

I began to send this to Jimmy (gnash) in a PM but then I decided everyone might like to read it.

Art -- Dal  was working on an abstract picture of bright colors, in the center of the page, which he had colored with crayons and pens.  He wanted to show huge dark colored teeth closing in on the bright colors.  He meant the colors to be his spirit/personality, and the darkness to be the illness closing in. 

But he didn't have enough dark colors.  I brought him some pastels so he could finish the picture, but I don't think he was ever able to work on it after that day.
sometimes I think life is just a rodeo the trick is to ride and make it 'til the bell --john fogerty

Offline Sara B

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #49 on: September 05, 2011, 12:32:15 PM »
This is so poignant, Ellen. It makes me cry for a man I never met.  And Jimmy's post too.
There were only the two of them on the mountain flying in the euphoric, bitter air, looking down on the hawk's back and the crawling lights of vehicles on the plain below, suspended above ordinary affairs....

Offline gnash

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #50 on: September 06, 2011, 01:41:30 AM »
thanks for the description of the artwork, ellen. i can totally picture the image in my mind, and sort of feel his pain at the same time.

 

"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  Ang Lee


Offline Nikki

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #51 on: September 06, 2011, 04:25:57 PM »


That was beautiful Jimmy.

Ellen, that description of Dal's art work was so touching, especially since he couldn't finish it.
The shirts hanging on a nail shudder slightly in the draft.

If he does not force his attention on it, it might stoke the day, rewarm that old, cold time on the mountain when they owned the world and nothing seemed wrong.

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive
But to be young was very heaven!

Offline fofol

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #52 on: September 07, 2011, 10:24:51 AM »
thanks for the description of the artwork, ellen. i can totally picture the image in my mind, and sort of feel his pain at the same time.

 

thanks for the description of the artwork, ellen. i can totally picture the image in my mind, and sort of feel his pain at the same time.

 


Thank you both.
he felt he could paw the white out of the moon

Offline bubba

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #53 on: September 07, 2011, 11:04:20 AM »
Sorry I am so late getting in here, I am very sorry to hear this... :'( :'(
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?

Offline DaveinPhilly

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #54 on: September 09, 2011, 09:23:48 AM »
So late in reading this. I am sorry for Dal's family and friends. My partner and I met him at an early Brokeback showing and had a delightful time with him - witty and charming and a dear fellow. May he rest in peace.
It could be like this, just like this, always...

tonydude

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #55 on: September 24, 2011, 05:30:49 PM »
  It's always sad, losing forum members or their family and friends.  But am having a little more wistfulness over Dal.  I've been reading some of his last posts, and miss him all the more.
     Funny how, on forums, you can really, really like someone, but somehow never get to know them, even by PM.  I had supposed (probably correctly), that Dal had all the friends he needed, already, and further, that I didn't have much to offer, in any area that he might appreciate.  So, never got to know him, personally.
    Even so, I always looked forward to seeing one of his posts.  And I miss him. Gosh, what a loss.........

Offline MaineGirl

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #56 on: September 25, 2011, 01:01:52 PM »



Group Shot

PTannen (Pete), CellarDweller (Chuck), MaineGirl (Sue), DejaVu (Debbie), SmellyKellyJay (Kelly), RnMina (Mina)
(seated)  Dal (Steve), JCinNYC2006 (Juan)



So late in posting here... 

I remember this weekend and the meeting so well...  it was the first and only time I met Steve, but he struck me as a gentle soul.  I am truly saddened to hear of his passing.  My heart goes out to all of you who knew him better and who were close to him and to his family.

Rest in Peace, Steve. 
"It is no accident that we all lie nestled together in the curves of the universe.  We are tugged by the forces of the celestial tides.  Time folds in on itself and outward again in gladness as we spin around, each of us an utter miracle in a sea of tiny white stars."  Jamien E. Morehouse

Offline rosa

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #57 on: October 06, 2011, 12:06:42 AM »
I loved his kindness, his wit, his erudition, his grace. 

Offline Ellen (tellyouwhat)

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #58 on: October 16, 2011, 12:54:06 PM »
Friends,

On Saturday, 10/15, Dal's family hosted an intimate, casual memorial service in the home of a relative.  I was honored to attend.

I will share with you two details from the service that I think will have meaning.

Dal's sister, Lesley, led the service.  She spoke about memories of her brother and their close relationship.  She played music that both of them had shared and she said Dal was a Bob Dylan fan.  She played a recording of Bob Dylan singing Donovan's  "Catch the Wind."  If anyone wants to listen to this moving song here is a link of a video of Donovan and Crystal Gayle singing the song, (I couldn't find it by Dylan on youtube):

Donovan, Crystal Gayle "Try and Catch the Wind"


Lesley told the group that after Dal had passed, her mother was going through some of his clothing and found, in the pocket of one of his shirts, a note that said, "Mom and Lesley, I love you.  Always have, and always will."

I don't know if there was anyone else there, even Lesley, who might recognize that gesture as a possible Brokeback reference.

Dal, I swear.

« Last Edit: October 16, 2011, 06:36:21 PM by Ellen (tellyouwhat) »
sometimes I think life is just a rodeo the trick is to ride and make it 'til the bell --john fogerty

tonydude

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Re: Saying goodbye to Dal, a Forum friend
« Reply #59 on: October 16, 2011, 02:05:43 PM »
 He was a wonderful man, Ellen.  I never met him.  Never any PM back and forth.  But his every post spoke of life and good will, always given through that incredible wit he had.  I still miss him.