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Author Topic: Coming out: how and why?  (Read 109186 times)

Offline gnash

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #825 on: February 21, 2017, 12:21:21 AM »
I have always dreamed of owning a bike but cannot even ride a push bike due to bad balance and the few times of have been a pillion rider, I have been scared stiff.  The closest I came was to owning a mini moke. Gave me an excuse to wear leather another reason of many for my moving to a colder climate, not much chance to wear leather casually in humid Sydney.  I also have leather pants but never wear them out and lots of biker boots. A real problem is leather is heavy for carrying on planes. Have struggled home several times from San Francisco.
One needs to come out as a fetishist as well as gay.  :(
Last year at the mid winter festival, I bumped into a close woman friend while wearing my heavy duty biker jacket. She knows I am gay but said, "Where is your bike?" She did not know I had heavy almost knee high biker boots on but under my jeans. I have had to make up stories about having owned a bike in the past many times.

YES! be proud of who you are tho, let those TSA agents think what they will when they rummage through your bags. you're lucky you don't have genital piercings. i knew a guy and his prince albert is so large it looks like a doorknob. when he the alarms go off at metal detectors, he shows them a chain diving into the top of his jeans and they tell him to remove it. you can imagine what's connected to the other end. :o

oh wait, maybe you do... have piercings, that is. ;)

i had to look up "pillion rider"... i know what you mean -- i'm not at all comfortable on the back of a motorcycle, but after i while i do relax and go with the flow. i've learned to lean in and enjoy the curves rather than fight them. :D

had to look up "mini moke" too... interesting. they're like a jeep -- i see those a lot in california, guys in jeeps with the top down, some of jee's don't even have doors. in the mountain they might wear leather, but at the beach it's usually guys in board shorts and nothing else.

anyway... it's too bad you have to make up stories to those not saavy to your interests, but i suppose, it could be fun...

"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  – Ang Lee


Offline gnash

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #826 on: February 21, 2017, 12:26:00 AM »
It looks on the map like it might be.

oh, talk about coming out! zealandia! i just read about it:

http://www.wthr.com/article/scientists-say-theyve-discovered-a-hidden-continent-under-new-zealand

yes, if australia was considered the smallest continent, zealandia looks smaller for sure.


"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  – Ang Lee


Offline gnash

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #827 on: February 21, 2017, 12:30:32 AM »
I do not even like the name New Zealand. I have been to Zeeland and it is flat, nothing like my mountainous, island home. Like many people, when I am being formal I say I live in Aotearoa New Zealand. And very rarely do we say we are New Zealanders, we say we are Kiwis. (Aotearoa - Maori -  means Land of the Long White Cloud). Just because the first European visitor was a Dutchman, we have this stupid name.
I was born and grew up in New South Wales, another stupid name. European explorers grrrrr.

this is interesting as well... i wondered about the terms kiwis and new zealanders. either is better than zealots. :D

i do like aotearoa tho... maori culture is very cool.

 :laugh: about new south wales.. is there an old north wales as well?

"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  – Ang Lee


Offline gnash

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #828 on: February 21, 2017, 12:46:35 AM »

...

This is taking longer than I intended, will continue later.

please do. i find it fascinating. see what goodness comes of telling the truth? even if you didn't tell graham you were gay, he knew, and he accepted you, even if you didn't think he would. and you changed his life. that's what's so great. because you spent time with him and cared enough to talk to him, you affected him positively. it's the nurturing that i always say is so necessary, something that gay kids really get enough of... it's better now, of course, and it all depends on the family, but on the whole, society looks down on gays and so nobody feels right about supporting gay kids, or telling them that what they are and how they feel is fine.

and here you are, a gay man helping straight (and gay) youth by providing them with a role model they can respect. you should have mentored graham's brothers, too, they might have stayed out of trouble!

sorry to hear about your friend garry, but if his death helped you to come out to your mother, that, in a way, was his gift to you. as they say, better late then never, and it sounds like the timing was perfect, because suffering in silence is never good.

so glad to know you were able to find the confidence to live life as you should.  :-*


"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  – Ang Lee


Offline brian

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #829 on: February 21, 2017, 12:47:00 AM »
My moke did not have a door, you just stepped in, a poor man's jeep. Yes they are popular for surfers. I ended up selling it to an ex-student for the annual registration fees I had just paid the month before. Have met him at reunions several times, always have a laugh about it.
No, no piercings of any sort here. My doctor is on my church committee so might take some explaining and I hate airport security, have no wish to make it more of a hassle.
I thought I may have had to explain 'mini moke' but what do you say for pillion rider?

Offline Sara B

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #830 on: February 21, 2017, 01:05:02 AM »
this is interesting as well... i wondered about the terms kiwis and new zealanders. either is better than zealots. :D

i do like aotearoa tho... maori culture is very cool.

 :laugh: about new south wales.. is there an old north wales as well?

We've got the original one over here, north, mid and south. :)
There were only the two of them on the mountain flying in the euphoric, bitter air, looking down on the hawk's back and the crawling lights of vehicles on the plain below, suspended above ordinary affairs....

Offline gnash

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #831 on: February 24, 2017, 10:23:47 PM »
oh!

well, out here in california we have killer whales.

i saw some off newport beach the other day!

"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  – Ang Lee


Offline gnash

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #832 on: February 24, 2017, 10:38:54 PM »



Troye Sivan for #NationalComingOutDay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhW14_rSj7c



coming out to yourself is the hardest part, i think

i love what he says about representation in the media.

for me, it was seeing steven carrington on TV's dynasty. :D


"Brokeback is about a lost paradise, an Eden."  – Ang Lee


Offline Sason

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #833 on: February 26, 2017, 08:08:34 AM »
Coming Out and Dad's Shocking Confession



omg this was so freakin entertaining.
gahhh! i wish my parents were like this.
i wish every gay kid's parents were like this.
this was such a fantastic little coming out story.
riyadh is the kid. his dad is from iraq, mom is irish.
such great insight offered and such wonderful advice.

(click pic for video)

This was very moving. Brought a few tears.

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Offline Sason

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #834 on: February 26, 2017, 08:13:09 AM »
glad you watched it, sara! i couldn't help but cry along with them. what a great dad he is.... damn. that kid is so freakin lucky.

the other one, with the young kid brendan... well... i adore that because he's so HIMSELF. and he knows it, and doesn't give a fuck. too many kids are pressured into not being themselves, it's what i hated about my youth, my dad especially was constantly preventing me from doing what felt natural. i'm not talking painting my nails or anything, but things like playing the piano and drawing. kids need nurturing. they need support. but one thing that's really important is they should believe in themselves. self esteem is such a big issue these days. kids are told they're nothing, they're nobody. it shoudn't be like that...

 :o >:( :o >:( :o >:(

((((Jimmy))))   :( :( :( :(


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Offline tfferg

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #835 on: May 28, 2017, 01:23:09 AM »

Coming out and showing the way

A Melbourne student has made a thoughtful and inspiring coming out speech to a whole-school assembly. This article includes the context, extracts from the speech and a You Tube video.

http://www.theage.com.au/comment/coming-out-and-showing-the-way-20170526-gwdttb.html

Offline Sara B

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #836 on: May 28, 2017, 06:58:24 AM »
^^^ Yes, I read this recently - a beautifully expressed coming out to a very supportive school community, not to mention his affirming identical twin brother.

Heartwarming to read after Margaret Court's highly unpleasant comments about Qantas and same sex marriage etc.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-26/calls-for-margaret-court-arena-name-change-after-qantas-boycott/8560790
There were only the two of them on the mountain flying in the euphoric, bitter air, looking down on the hawk's back and the crawling lights of vehicles on the plain below, suspended above ordinary affairs....

Online CellarDweller115

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Re: Coming out: how and why?
« Reply #837 on: May 28, 2017, 10:41:20 AM »
great speach!!!