I hope you can indulge me asking another one of those “ignorant straight girl” questions.
Most civilized people will refrain from making overtly racist comments in front of members of ethnic minorities. Similarly, most reasonably mature men will not make degrading sexist comments in front of women. If such jokes are made in “mixed” company, they often draw the scorn and disapproval of other people present. And certainly in most workplaces today, people are very careful about what they say, at least in public, for fear of getting reprimanded or fired, even if for no other reason.
On the other hand, it’s obvious that the Leno-style jokes about gay people, especially gay men, are pervasive in society as well as the media. I’ve seen both women and men make such jokes or derogatory comments. I expect that from certain people, but I’m always surprised to hear it from the well-educated, liberal, tolerant types, even though I think most of the time they are just being thoughtless rather than expressing true hate. (not to discount that it might sound hateful to the target….)
Since one’s sexual orientation is not an obvious characteristic as is race or gender, I assume that many of you have endured these type of rude comments in the workplace and at social gatherings from otherwise well-minded individuals who didn’t realize they were potentially insulting someone right in front of them. I can only imagine how distressing that must be. I also assume it makes “coming out” in the workplace an event fraught with anxiety for many people. How do you handle it when these comments are made? Do you just get immune to it after a while? Do you end up only surrounding yourself with other gay people, as it seems some posters on this board have done? (but how is that even possible?).
