You guys/gals are a HOOT!
I'm learning that swimming is much harder than I remember! Went to a swimming clinic yesterday run by this cute young high school swim team member, Nick, who took a look at my swimming stroke and kick and said I was doing fine. He started by saying, "Okay, everyone, let's do 8 laps to warm up...." I stopped him right there. I told him a half a lap was my best last time, and I wasn't there for pain, but for some tips. He said, Okay. and then we swam laps and had fun for an hour with about six of us.
Baby steps, Lola say, and I agree. All of this stuff is baby steps while we're in training. I guess that's where I am in this whole gay thing. SO much to learn and what seems like so little time to learn it...deadlines seem to come along whether we set them or not sometimes.
Okay, confession, for the very first time in all of this dieting I have lost my mental concentration. It was when my therapist talked about just asking for a divorce that I hit a glitch in my thinking. Then it was less of a new game to play, having this wonderful Brokeback Mountain experience, and more like real life setting it. At dinner out on Friday I asked my wife what she was angry about. She's the type that processes things for a long time before answering, and I determined to just be quiet until she said something. Well...the silence went on so long, and since we were in a restaurant, something came up and we got onto another topic and she successfully did an end run on the question...which she never answered.
That was the straw that depressed me and I haven't recovered from it quite yet...which is remarkable, because I've been mentally very strong all through this.
I invited all the kids over for Mother's Day Dinner this evening. I picked up three chickens from Costco, along with a Devilish dessert, and plan on having mac and cheese for all the grandkids, along with a salad and ... crap ... I forgot to get some jello. Oh, well, I did pick up lots of strawberries and blackberries as a new (old) market yesterday. I figure out something. I told my wife I had so much energy from all I've been doing that I could do it all...now I'm nervous that I'll mess it up. I think I'll do mashed potatoes w/ butter. The ages range from six months to 60+.
I'm hoping to snap back into mental strength and just writing here has helped to center and focus me...sounds like a yoga exercise!
Remember, just because you're slipping a little, doesn't mean you have to let go and slide down the whole damn hill. Grab at something to keep you near the top and then gather strength for the climb...and just DO IT!
Hope you're all eating good food and thinking positive thoughts today. Some holidays are rough...this is my first Mother Day as an admitted Gay man. I have an angel mother in heaven who I can still feel wrapping he arms around me and saying, "It's all right, it's all right...."
Bobby