The Ultimate Brokeback Forum

Author Topic: Mourning Someone Who Has Died  (Read 689754 times)

Offline phrag3

  • Expert
  • ****
  • Posts: 467
  • I remember.
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #135 on: September 02, 2006, 02:15:53 PM »
To all of you who sent kinds thoughts my way this past week, thanks so much.

Words can't fully tell you how much each of the messages meant to me and helped me through that day.

Dan


Offline ImEnnisShesJack

  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 4347
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #136 on: September 02, 2006, 02:25:52 PM »
Hugs to you Dan. 

I won't say the words that you know I'm thinking.
In 9 days time, I have an anniversary of my own.
My heart grows heavy as the day approaches.
I will not handle this well.
I am glad i have Carol, my rock, with me now.

Heidi
"And when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night."
~~Heath Ledger 1979-2008~~

Carol8159@yahoo.com

Offline phrag3

  • Expert
  • ****
  • Posts: 467
  • I remember.
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #137 on: September 02, 2006, 04:35:08 PM »
Heidi,

Well, I'll start sending my hugs your way now, so that they help ease the pain, in advance. I've found that the days before are worse than the actual day - which you tend to be a bit prepared for.

Take care

Dan

Offline ImEnnisShesJack

  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 4347
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #138 on: September 03, 2006, 06:51:17 AM »
Thanks Dan.

My mourning was kicked into high gear a little early - have found out that Martin600, one of our own forum members, passed away this past week.  It was sudden, sort of, and has thrown quite a few of us for a loop.

*sigh*

I wonder if there will be a mention of him in the Daily Sheet...
"And when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night."
~~Heath Ledger 1979-2008~~

Carol8159@yahoo.com

Brokaholic

  • Guest
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #139 on: September 04, 2006, 02:36:41 AM »
Thank goodness I found this thread. I was going to infest the entire boards with my grief.

Heidi, There was a beautiful tribute to Martin on the daily sheet. I sent his family the link. And both his cousin and his partner asked me to relay their thanks to everyone on this forum for their kind words. I think perhaps now they begin to see why Martin loved hanging out here so much.

Offline Eclypto

  • Getting Acquainted
  • *
  • Posts: 6
Why does God do this to us ?
« Reply #140 on: September 07, 2006, 08:36:16 AM »
I lost my partner about a month ago.  Right now is the worst, but I know it will get better.  I hate my life.  Why does God do this to us?  He was a good man, I am a good man - we were happy.  Now he's gone and I am cracked in half.  I will probably live for another 50 years -- without him.  What is the freaking point of doing this?  What did I - or any of us - do to deserve this unhappiness?  I know I will never have a love as good as his.  Why?

Offline desertrat

  • Sunflower
  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 21916
  • No angel ;-)
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #141 on: September 07, 2006, 08:58:29 AM »
Eclypto,
i'm so sorry for you loss. i don't know what to say. and i most certainly don't have an answer to your question. i don't know what i would do if i lost my partner.

the only thing i know - and i can provide - i shoulder to cry on. don't you want to tell us a bit more about your partner ? how was he ? how did you meet each other ? unless it is too painful to talk. well, and of course you can pm me as well if you don't feel like talking "in public".

a big virtual hug to you !
Minds are like parachutes... they both work better when opened.

Offline All4one

  • Expert
  • ****
  • Posts: 510
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #142 on: September 07, 2006, 09:08:19 AM »
Eclypto, I am sorry, too to know of your great loss. There are no words that can make this pain go away, or to answer those awful 'whys'.
But I would ask you what desertrat already has. Can you talk about him a little, to celebrate who he was with us?
 Wishing you strength...
"One's enough"  A.P.

Offline phrag3

  • Expert
  • ****
  • Posts: 467
  • I remember.
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #143 on: September 07, 2006, 09:37:36 AM »
Eclypto,

If you read some of my posts just last week on this thread, you'll see that I lost my Partner two years ago.

I'll PM you later (I'm at work right now). Or you can PM me to talk.

I might not be able to answer all your questions, but I think I can help (from experience).

Hugs

Dan

Offline mcnell1120

  • Vida Loca
  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 28784
  • Footsteps in my life....leave memories in my heart
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #144 on: September 07, 2006, 04:12:44 PM »
I lost my partner about a month ago. Right now is the worst, but I know it will get better. I hate my life. Why does God do this to us? He was a good man, I am a good man - we were happy. Now he's gone and I am cracked in half. I will probably live for another 50 years -- without him. What is the freaking point of doing this? What did I - or any of us - do to deserve this unhappiness? I know I will never have a love as good as his. Why?

I don't even know where to begin, but first and up most,welcome to our family and I can't tell you enough how glad I am that you found this place....and joined.

Eclypto, my heart goes out to you...I don't know why this bullshit happens to us...don't know why we must suffer and I often told myself,why does God allow this to happen?....after a few months I know things will seem a little better..I'm not going to lie to you. It never goes away. But it does get better because your grief will turn into memories....he still lives inside your soul...he's still there comforting you and when you cry,he's holding your hand. He's going to want you to live your life..he's not going to want you to feel terrible if later on you do meet someone else.....he wants you to live in his name,Eclypto.

Right now it's much to soon to think of the future...you take time to heal..and cry. Cry as often as you want and as loud as you must. Punch the pillows if you have to. Tell him out loud that you love him ,he can hear you and he will comfort you...

I'm so sorry hon...we're here for you..rain or shine.

Hugs

Nellie
RICKY MARTIN ,tu eres mi Kiki !

Offline ImEnnisShesJack

  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 4347
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #145 on: September 07, 2006, 04:16:08 PM »
Thank goodness I found this thread. I was going to infest the entire boards with my grief.

Heidi, There was a beautiful tribute to Martin on the daily sheet. I sent his family the link. And both his cousin and his partner asked me to relay their thanks to everyone on this forum for their kind words. I think perhaps now they begin to see why Martin loved hanging out here so much.

Thanks Alice for being in contact with them and relaying our love and sympathy.
I still don't understand it.  It seems so pointless.
"And when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night."
~~Heath Ledger 1979-2008~~

Carol8159@yahoo.com

Offline ImEnnisShesJack

  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 4347
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #146 on: September 07, 2006, 04:18:20 PM »
Eclypto,

My deepest sympathies to you at your loss.  Anything I say will sound trite and/overused, but I mean it sincerely when I say that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  There is great support here if you need it.  You are most welcome and it is good to have you here.  I hope the coming months, by way of the forum, help you to come to closure on your sadness and give you the strength to move forward.

hugs,
Heidi
"And when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night."
~~Heath Ledger 1979-2008~~

Carol8159@yahoo.com

Offline annabel

  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 987
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #147 on: September 07, 2006, 04:52:08 PM »
Eclypto; I am so sorry for your loss and anyone else whose has suffered great loss.  There really is nothing to say that will help.  Just surround yourself with people who you can lean on and cry as long as as hard as you need to.

Offline Dal

  • Moderator Emeritus
  • Obsessed
  • *****
  • Posts: 4650
  • Skim milk masquerades as cream
Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #148 on: September 07, 2006, 05:32:45 PM »
Eclypto --

I am very sorry to hear about you losing your partner.  It's really fucked up sometimes, isn't it?  Completely unfair, just complete crap.  Makes no sense whatsoever. 

I know it's no comfort to you now, but you will feel a whole lot better after a while.  It may take longer than some of your friends expect, but whatever.  Anybody that has heard about that "stages of grief" thing, and thinks they know all about grief -- screw 'em if they stick their nose in and think they are helping.  Dreams may be tough at first, I don't know, but in the end they will be very helpful.  Good luck buddy and may the Force be with you.

Dal
Mommy, can I be on the kill list when I gwow up?
Of course honey, any American can -- thanks to President Obama!!

Offline Eclypto

  • Getting Acquainted
  • *
  • Posts: 6
Thank you all
« Reply #149 on: September 08, 2006, 11:15:51 AM »
Hey, everyone.  Just wanted to say thank you for all your kind words.  I really shouldn't post anything when I'm in that depressive state.  Yesterday was a bad day, as you can tell.  All of your responses, however, were very helpful.  Of course I cried when I read them.  He was a great, big fun guy and I was looking forward to 20 more years with him.  He died suddenly, so it's all still raw.  I know God has a plan -- who knows what it is.  I'm just looking for positives now.  Thanks again for your shoulders.  It's awesome that people like you are willing to help a complete stranger.  I'm going to post his picture next time.