Dear Friends,
Permit me to quote myself from Page 1 of this thread, posted way back in May . . .
My story is posted over on the "affected you" thread. After seeing BBM, I began searching for the only great love of my life. It had been fifty years. Just recently, after weeks of searching, I found that Billy had died in 1993.
How do I cope? I'm not sure that I do yet. Writing about Billy has been the most important way. Somehow I feel this sense of urgency, like if I don't do it quickly, I might forget. After posting some of the story on this forum, I've begun writing a complete memoir. Remembering, that's how I cope.
There's no one in my life who even knows about Billy. So that means not a single person that I can talk to. But I have found tremendous support in a most unlikely place. Auntie's Diner, over in the Meet and Greet section. A virtual alliance of caring, understanding people. They take my mind off of me. That's good.
Paul / Mejack
Since May, so much has happened. The support I have received from this forum has been overwhelming. Then, too, there are the friendships forged at the Texas BBQ, and the encouragement I've received from you all.
Mourning a Loved One. As some of you know, this past Friday I visited Billy's grave. It had been seven months since I learned of his death. My friend Widge (WDJ) who I met on this forum, met me in Atlanta and we went together to the cemetery. How fortunate I am to have the shoulder of a friend. How thankful I am for "Brokeback Mountain". Without the film, I would never have begun the search for Billy. I would never have known nor read his last words to me. Now, finally, I have been able to "put things in their place."
I don't think of it as closure. I've never wanted closure. To me, that has the connotation of wanting to forget. I'll never forget. I'll never stop loving him. But I fell a real sense of completion now, and that sense of emptiness seems to have subsided too.
Paul Mejack