The Ultimate Brokeback Forum

Author Topic: Brokeback's Impact on Women  (Read 216448 times)

Offline Christina

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2005, 05:23:48 PM »
Hi Mary,
I just read your message and it reminds me of my experience with this movie!  I think I'm losing my mind, because I feel almost obsessed with this love story and the amazing characters.  I feel SO different from most of the people in the audience (me a married, mid-30s stay at home mom with 2 kids), that I felt even more out of my mind.  When I saw you were a gal who loved the movie, I just had to respond.  I've seen the movie twice with my best girlfriend and even my mom (I'm going to buy the book next)!  My husband promised to see it with me and is putting up with my obsession (he thinks it's too 'gay' even though I'm insisting it's not).  I've just never felt so strongly about a movie and I don't understand why.   I can't even believe I'm writing on one of these message boards...it's something I've NEVER done.  Take care.   
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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #16 on: December 29, 2005, 08:58:57 AM »
Hi!

I've been meaning to post here and say hello.  I'm also a straight, female who has seen the movie a couple of times.  My feelings go beyond words.  It has made me look at life differntly.  I'm sure I'll go back next week for a 3rd viewing.  I'm trying to absorb as much subtext and nuances as possible.  Plus, I admit to a little Jakey crush now.

Bobbie ((hugs))

Offline ruth

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2005, 12:50:55 PM »
Hi goils,

Well I am straight too but not in a relationship with a man (currently---hopefully that will change at some point!); but having said that I must confess to having had my thoughts about men I find attractive---with other men I find attractive. What does it all mean? I can't say.

But when I heard about the plotline for BBM it did not surprise me that I was taken with it---I just didn't know how MUCH I would be when I finally saw the film! I, too, have never registered with one of these message boards before, but just could not resist here.

At any rate, it's good times! and great reading! Not to mention educational.  Perhaps it's all well that I don't have a BF or husband right now; they might be a little put off by my endless ramblings and devotion to this subject. How are all you married womens' S.O.'s dealing with it?

Offline mary

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2005, 01:32:04 PM »
My husband has been mostly fine, verging on amused at times when I get totally absorbed in this blog or reading the story AGAIN .  We saw the film together twice and he liked it but can't quite see why I'm so taken with it.  I think he's starting to tell himself it's just a crush on Jake.  And while I don't discount my fascination with Mr. Gyllenhaal (I too have learned how to spell his name!), this started before his amazing performance as Jack had even registered with me. So Jake has just been a nice addition to my love for this story and film  (icing on the cake if you will).

I've been been happy to see other women here, so we can try to figure out our reactions.  Obviously we don't have the same life experience and background as gay men who can see a little (or a lot) of themselves in this story.  But for me this story works on so many levels, as a story of two men in love but also the story of love and longing and regret. And who hasn't experience some of that in their lives? To my mind that is the brilliance of this story that you don't need to be a gay man to understand these men and the beauty and tragedy of their story, even though at it's heart it is a beautiful love story about two men.

I'm getting closer to being able to articulate this thing.  It's nice to have this forum too since I think I've worn out my audience here at home.
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Offline Meira

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2005, 05:01:54 PM »
Well, I saw it for the 3rd time last weekend, and I am still as deeply affected by it as I was the first time.  I am planning to see it again on Saturday with an artist friend of mine, in the hopes she will better understand my reaction than the others I've seen it with. Two girlfriends both thought it was wonderful and haunting, but neither has had the same intense response to it that I've had. I really need all of you here!

I can understand why a gay man would be so deeply affected as there would be more parallels to personal life experience, but I am surprised at how obsessed I've become with this story, with the characters and even with the actors themselves!  I've read every interview with Jake and Heath and Ang that is out there.  I can't get enough! I am a mid-40's married woman with 2 kids and I am drooling over Jake and Heath like I was a teenager!  What's up with this??  :D

Can't wait til Saturday...

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Offline Melisande

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2005, 05:30:09 PM »
Hi, Myra.  ;D

There's a growing group of 40+ women here drooling unbecomingly (well, it's unbecoming on me, anyway) over Jake. Heath too, probably, but they're not squealing as loud. It's another phenomenon!
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Offline ruth

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2005, 05:52:49 PM »
Ok I'll put in a good word for Heath...Up until this movie I was scarcely aware of his existence; to me he seemed just another uninteresting faceless Hollywood prettyboy (and movies like "Casanova" really aren't going to do much to shatter that illusion...yawn, I'll be giving that one a big miss).

 Then along comes BBM and I'm thinking, Holy cow! Who is THIS guy? And where has he been all my life? Suddenly every interview with him is of great interest; and I like what he has to say for himself. Much more attention will be paid from here on out, needless to say...heh.

Offline Alex

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2005, 06:07:09 PM »
I've talked to some of my straight older female friends who would normally not care for actors in their twenties.  I think part of the big appeal of Heath and Jake to more "mature" (and I use that term loosely) women is that those two seem very kind, humble and down-to-earth.  It's one thing to be good looking and sexy (which is a dime a dozen in Hollywood).  But, most women find these two young men to have more appeal due to their personalities.  Like most of them wouldn't care for Colin Farrell, for instance.

I also have straight young buddies who like Jake Gyllenhaal.  He's like the boy next door that you would hang out with, play ball and drink beer.  As one interviewer has said, he's the type of guy I would hang out with and talk about girls.  But, Jake has actually slept with Kirsten Dunst as opposed to my buds who just talk about it.  He's goodlooking but in a non-threatening way.   
There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it.

Offline ruth

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2005, 07:00:45 PM »
Yeah, Alex, I think you are right---the appeal is not necessarily in the looks but in the substance. There aren't that many good roles out there for the younger fellas that allow for that, most are pretty shallow. I've always been a fan of the older gentlemen--Alan Rickman, Gary Sinise, guys like that who have been around the block a bit and have had their chance to play many and varied roles. They seem to have a little more to them in the way of substance.

Jake and Heath seemed to have had not only the luck to have roles like theirs come along for them, but also the chutzpah to take them and the talent to pull them off, and that in and of itself makes them pretty appealing. 


Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #24 on: December 29, 2005, 07:33:50 PM »
Much love to the straight ladies here who are as into this film as we are!!!!

I'm going for my second viewing to BBM on Monday and taking 6 of my faithful "fruit flies" with me to see it.  I can't wait to see their reactions.

Offline mary

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #25 on: December 29, 2005, 09:30:50 PM »
Until this film came out I think I was vaguely aware of the existence of Heath (some teen idol right?) and Jakes name might have rung a bell just because of his sister.

I'm still not sure if I am ready to see either of them in any other film right now.

I'd agree with Alex as far as the appeal - they seem kind and thoughtful and mature through all of this although I am sure they are sick to death of having people ask silly questions about the sex scenes in BBM. 
Ask for Colin Farrel - don't see the appeal there.
Alan Rickman though - ruth I have to agree with you there (even as Snape)

CellarDweller 'fruit flies' ! I haven't heard that for a while (Sounds nicer than fag hags to me)
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Offline Melisande

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #26 on: December 29, 2005, 11:25:48 PM »
I've seen it three times so far and am not much closer to figuring out what it is that moves me so. I thought the third time would be more for artistic appreciation and perhaps some Jake-watching, but no, I was a puddle. I also thought that I was done watching it for a while, figuring to catch it again around Oscar time, but, again, no. I can't wait that long.

Neither Heath nor Jake was on my radar before this. In fact, so few are, I'm not even sure I have radar. But now, it's all ooooooh, Jake! *swoons* Not sure what that's about, either, but I agree it's not just the looks. Something to do with confidence, a sense of humor, intelligence, and that smile.   
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Bobbie

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #27 on: December 30, 2005, 10:55:14 AM »
How are all you married womens' S.O.'s dealing with it?

Hi Ruth,  welcome to the board.  My husband doesn't really worry about my crushes anymore.  (I'm not even sure he realizes I have one on Jake.)  Actually, he tends to benefit from them.  His only concern is the time I spend sitting online or reading or going to movies that takes away from doing other things.  I used to have a major crush on an actor whom I eventually met.  Hubby was ok with that but felt a little ignored.  I solved that problem by having him meet the actor too and they hit it off. (hahaha)

As far as Jake is concerned, I think it's the delight of watching him mature.  He seems so kind and committed to strong family values, it's hard not to find him appealing.  PLUS, I really think that Men in their 20s and Women in their 40s are on the same "plain" so to speak.  Both groups are trying to negotiate the waters of impending changes in our lives and within the world around us.  As a 20 something i was fascinated but also scared about growing up.  As a 40 something I'm scared but also fascinated at the options that lie ahead for me as I face physical changes.  I don't know, maybe I'm thinking too much.  But a good loud "Squeeeeeee" over Jake once in a while can't be all that bad.

Happy New Year!  Bobbie

Offline Meira

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #28 on: December 30, 2005, 11:17:52 AM »
Ok, as much as I think Jake is so sexy in a laid back kind of way, I have really been more hooked on Heath.  I confess to having downloaded at least 2 dozen pictures from Heathbaby.com, which someone posted on this site a little while ago.  Neither of them were on my radar until now.  I had seen Jake in Day After Tomorrow, but he seemed much younger in that film.  I had actually been a big Russell Crowe fan, until he proved to be such a jerk ( phone throwing incident).

Yes, I think for most women, though I should  only speak for myself, it is the underlying emotional strength and vulnerability as well as depth of character (personal not film characters) that comes through in interviews and the talent they bring to the screen that really make someone super sexy.  There has to be more than a handsome face, gorgeous body -  Jake and Heath both have all of the above, IMHO.
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Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #29 on: December 30, 2005, 12:18:32 PM »
CellarDweller 'fruit flies' ! I haven't heard that for a while (Sounds nicer than fag hags to me)

I have always liked the term "fruit flies"....I just think it sounds funnier. 

From what I was told, there is a difference between a fag hag and a fruit fly.  The fag hag is a straight woman who hangs out with a gay man in the hopes to "convert" the gay man, while a fruit fly hangs out with them because she simply loves the friendship.