The Ultimate Brokeback Forum

Author Topic: Brokeback's Impact on Women  (Read 223365 times)

Offline jim ...

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #45 on: December 31, 2005, 02:55:38 PM »
... this is the first time I've stumbled onto this thread.  I'm finding the insights of women that have seen BBM fasinating. Keep them coming! For all of you women that have gotten your husbands/bf's ... etc. to attend .... how about urging them to post?  Perhaps we could get a new thread started for straight men who have seen the movie and their reactions.  That could be pretty interesting!

Offline rjc

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #46 on: December 31, 2005, 03:26:21 PM »

I caught so many nuances the second time around. For example, only on the second viewing did I realize the wooden cowboy and horse carving on Jack's desk is the same one Ennis was carving in one rainy scene early in the movie. Also, isn't that Ennis's shirt that he finds intertwined with Jack's parka?

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That's an interesting question you pose--about Ennis's shirt and Jack's parka. That observation didn't occur to me as I was watching the film (twice), although I was trying to identify the shirt. Now that you mention this possibility, I wonder--if it is Ennis's shirt--could it be the shirt he supposedly left on the mountain in the first part of the film?

Offline mary

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #47 on: December 31, 2005, 03:32:01 PM »
For all of you women that have gotten your husbands/bf's ... etc. to attend .... how about urging them to post?  Perhaps we could get a new thread started for straight men who have seen the movie and their reactions.  That could be pretty interesting!

My husband is a man of few words (not unlike Ennis) so he's said he's not that comfortable in this kind of forum. So I doubt I'll get him to post.  However, he is the one who suggested we see the film again the second night (after we had just seen it the night before).  In part this was because he knows I liked it so much but he liked it too.

I had asked him prior to seeing the film if he thought he would be bothered by the sex scenes.  I had not thought so but so many folks in the old forum were convinced that most straight guys would not be able to get past what has been called the EWWW factor.  His response was that he thought homophobes would be bothered and that is not him. (nb; his opinion not mine)
I'd be very interested in hearing from more straight men who've seen the film.
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Offline nakymaton

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #48 on: December 31, 2005, 03:47:04 PM »
I'm a straight woman, and I'm driving eight hours roundtrip to see BBM on Tuesday. (Kid's back in daycare but I've got the day off, hubby's got to work, and I decided I needed a day for myself after the holiday relatives-and-childcare crunch.) I haven't seen the movie yet, because I live in the Middle of Nowhere, so I can't comment on how the movie has affected me, or participate in the main discussion threads. I was introduced to the short story by a friend and was immediately hooked. The, ummmm, extraordinarily hot images from the Logo/VH1 special didn't hurt my anticipation one bit. ;D

The discussion of why women like BBM is fascinating. I'm not surprised by the phenomenon, though -- I'm a reader (and occasionally writer) of slash fan fiction (are there people here who don't know about slash? I know melisande said that she also writes slash, and meli, I'm going to pm you to find links when I'm done writing this :D.)

I don't have any answers to the question of what women like about male/male love stories. I can't explain why I find them particularly appealing, more appealing than a lot of heterosexual love stories. I'm not sure if it's something like the way straight men fantasize about lesbians, except that the fantasies tend to revolve around male emotions as much as around the physical relationship, or what. But I know that a LOT of my female internet friends have either seen and loved this movie (and seen it multiple times, in some cases) or are anticipating it.
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Offline ggirl

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #49 on: January 01, 2006, 07:57:00 PM »
Hi Mary,

I'm so glad I found this board because I am in the same boat you are! My husband has no idea how obsessed I am right now. I've seen the movie twice and I have to consciously force myself to not see it a third time, I think. i lay awake at night and early in the morning thinking about the love scenes..why is it that we women are affected so? It has to be more than the attraction of seeing two very very hot men making out..there has to be more to it. Maybe we crave the lust and passion they portray, that is somehow missing in our own everyday lives. In any case, I'm so glad I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing.

-Ggirl!

Offline Christina

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #50 on: January 01, 2006, 10:58:13 PM »
Hi again,

A bunch of us were out last night at dinner and another couple mentioned they had just seen the movie, and I couldn't contain my enthusiasm.  Now I'm out there telling everyone I know to see it.  I've only seen it twice (both times without my husband) and was going to wait until after I'd read the book to see it again, but now my husband wants to go.  His conservative, best work buddy went with his girlfriend, which makes him feel better about going.  This is major progress for me, as my hubby is a Fox News, George Bush type of guy!  I might even have to recruit some more Republicans this month. 

Were any of you gals out there into the movie The Crying Game back in the early 90s?  I remember I saw that movie several times and the actors and love story consumed me for a long time.  I'm obviously intrigued by man/man love stories!  I can't admit this to too many people.
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Offline Jadey

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #51 on: January 01, 2006, 11:36:12 PM »

Were any of you gals out there into the movie The Crying Game back in the early 90s?  I remember I saw that movie several times and the actors and love story consumed me for a long time.  I'm obviously intrigued by man/man love stories!  I can't admit this to too many people.

Hi Christina. It's so interesting that you mentioned The Crying Game. Husband and I watched BBM today (my 2nd time, his 1st). We of course discussed the movie afterward and the conservation somewhat switched to The Crying Game, one of his favorite movies. I remembered feeling a profound sadness after watching that movie. You will learn quickly from this board that being attracted to man/man love stories is not that uncommon anymore. Even the mainstream romance books nowadays have subplots of homosexual relationships that have gained wide popularity among readers, who are predominately straight women.

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #52 on: January 02, 2006, 03:13:34 PM »
Hi Mary,

Maybe we crave the lust and passion they portray, that is somehow missing in our own everyday lives. In any case, I'm so glad I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing.

-Ggirl!
I think this is one of the key motivators of the movie for me.  I'm in a loving relationship that is experiencing a bit of a hiatus from the lust and passion of the early days.  This is not uncommon in long term relationships, unfortunately it seems to happen to 40+ women who are peaking within their sexual maturity and view of the world.  I relate quite a bit with Jack and feel his absolute frustration.  You don't want it to be the end of the relationship, but it's intensly painful to live with out fufilling the passion and desire that lives inside for the one you love.

And who would not want to be so deeply loved.  That is what gets me every time. 

Offline Jadey

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #53 on: January 02, 2006, 08:54:08 PM »
... this is the first time I've stumbled onto this thread.  I'm finding the insights of women that have seen BBM fasinating. Keep them coming! For all of you women that have gotten your husbands/bf's ... etc. to attend .... how about urging them to post?  Perhaps we could get a new thread started for straight men who have seen the movie and their reactions.  That could be pretty interesting!

I have convinced my husband (a very straight middle-class white male) to write a review of BBM for me and he said I could share with others if I want. I am not sure where to post the review but since it's suggested in this thread that we should get straight guys' reactions I thought it's fitting to post it here. About the last part of the review, I think I was the one who ruined it for him so I apologize. Since 2nd viewing was so much better for me I am working on convincing him to go back for the 2nd time.

I agreed to write a review of Brokeback Mountain after I viewed it, in part to humor my wife and in part, for no other reason than to see if I could.  I am going to simply go through my list of notes, both good and bad, with no regard to order.
   I am, in some ways, a typical middle-aged, middle class white male, both a product and victim of my social and economic upbringing.  When I first viewed the movie, it struck me as so many films leave me; upset and angry that two people who were so enthralled to the happiness and joy they discovered, but were too weak to grasp it.  I was angry because I have always operated on the assumption that if you want something badly enough, work hard enough,…well, then there is nothing you can’t do.  I am wrong, of course, because I am living now, not 1963 when the story starts.   Times and thoughts were different, and Joe Public had a more restrictive view of the world and how things should be. So it grieves me to say it, but Ennis was most likely right in saying their relationship could cost them their lives.  So I have no valid footing to sit in judgment of them.
But I do.
Was it just me, or did they always drink long necks of beer, but there was never a label showing?
   Heathe Ledger’s character was just what you would expect from a man trapped by circumstances and responsibilities.  Rough, hard working and sparse of words, with a strong streak of loyalty running through him. But he also showed a willingness to punish himself for the passion he felt for Jack Twist because, as was the norm in those days, he felt it was wrong.   This is in comparison to Jack Twist who seemed to “take what he could get”, which, as crude as that sounds, shows a more encompassing acceptance of who he was.
   One of the more horrific elements, to my mind, was the inescapable, grinding poverty, of both economical and, again, the myopic mind-set of the day.   As a member of a minority, I find one just as bad as the other.   The detail orientated sets factored into the projection of the desperateness of the Ennis’s financial woes, just as they helped paint a happier picture for Jack.
   Nitpicky items:  what was the deal with the eyeliner?  Looked a like a eighth-grade girlie put it on.  And as from the first close up of Ennis lighting a smoke, I knew we weren’t dealing with real cowboys.  Their hands were too smooth and small.
   If I could change one thing about this movie, I would shorten and make the first bout of sex less graphic and more suggestive.  Now, before I get shouted at, listen to my reason;  anticipation gets in the way.  The only person who hasn’t heard/read/saw something about the scene is a sheep farmer in Wyoming.  Therefore a 15 seconds segment of the story gets in the way of this being a terrific story.  Remember The Crying Game?  Great movie, but BBM suffers from the same, if not to a greater degree, of the public yakking so much about the “surprise scene” that you spend half the movie on the edge of your seat, and when it comes, it can’t live up to what you had built it up to in your mind.  My wife is a good example of this phenomena made large.  She spent so much time reading reviews, listening to interviews and watching clips that the first viewing of the actual movie was disappointing because there wasn’t anything she didn’t know about.   Is there any way to get around this, in our interconnected world?  Probably not. 


Offline mary

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #54 on: January 02, 2006, 09:48:20 PM »

I have convinced my husband (a very straight middle-class white male) to write a review of BBM for me and he said I could share with others if I want. I am not sure where to post the review but since it's suggested in this thread that we should get straight guys' reactions I thought it's fitting to post it here.

Thanks Jadey! I enjoyed hearing his perspective.
Maybe I can do the same with my husband and post his reaction for him (I had originally asked him if he would be interested in to posting a reaction and he declined)
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Online CellarDweller115

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #55 on: January 04, 2006, 06:31:08 PM »
I caught so many nuances the second time around. For example, only on the second viewing did I realize the wooden cowboy and horse carving on Jack's desk is the same one Ennis was carving in one rainy scene early in the movie. Also, isn't that Ennis's shirt that he finds intertwined with Jack's parka?


That's an interesting question you pose--about Ennis's shirt and Jack's parka. That observation didn't occur to me as I was watching the film (twice), although I was trying to identify the shirt. Now that you mention this possibility, I wonder--if it is Ennis's shirt--could it be the shirt he supposedly left on the mountain in the first part of the film?

Ok......as for the horse, I believe the horse in Jack's room is not the one that Ennis carved.  I tried toget a look at in when Ennis picked it up.  It looked as if that was one piece.  When Ennis was carving the horse in the movie (carving on the legs) he flips it over, and there is no cowboy on the horse.  Unless Ennis carved the cowboy seperately (offscreen) and added it to the horse, that is not the same horse.

As for the shirt/jacket, yes, it was Jack's jacket and Ennis' shrit.  After Jack lassos Ennis' feet, and they end up wrestling and such, Jack bloodies Ennis' nose.  Jack wipes away the blood with his jacket sleeve.  Ennis then does the same with the shirt he is wearing.  When Ennis looks at the sleeves all those years later, he's not seeing the blood from the "accident" that took Jack's life, he's seeing the blood from that altercation.

Offline bookgirl

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #56 on: January 05, 2006, 01:22:22 PM »
I've been lurking and then posting for the past few weeks.  I've been trying to figure out, with others, the profound effect that BBM has had on me. This film has become an obsession for me.  In the past week I've seen it 3 times - twice with my husband and once with my sister.  I've read it more times than I can count. I plan to see it again. Some days I've lived and breather Jack and Ennis, sobbing at the drop of a hat (cowboy or otherwise).  I'm better now.

Until I got here I think I was kind of embarrassed by my reaction. Now I know I'm not alone in this. Luckily my husband has been pretty supportive (except when he has to drag me away from the computer to eat.) and understands (to a point) since he really enjoyed the film too. 


Mary-

I saw your post and had to respond.  I too have been lurking and am just learning to post because of this movie.  I'm a married, early 40's stay home mom who has seen the movie twice (both times by myself) and I can't get over it.  I'm going to see it again this weekend but I can't decide if I'm ready to take my husband.  The way I feel about this movie right now, any criticism from him would be grounds for divorce!  ;)

There are times when I feel like this movie and the emotions it has generated in me are eating me alive.  It's so hard to convey this to anyone who hasn't seen the movie and for those who have I still have trouble getting the right words out to express how emotionally and physically tied I have become to BBM.  I know that I would have never felt this way had this been a typical man/woman love story.  I think for me it's because the love that happens between these two men comes from a place that most of us will never know or experience.  Add to that the fact that they can't/won't/aren't allowed to acknowledge it is almost more than I can take. 

I'm so thankful to have an outlet to be able to share my emotions and thoughts about BBM.  Thank you to everyone for sharing!

Offline mary

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #57 on: January 05, 2006, 01:41:02 PM »
I'm so thankful to have an outlet to be able to share my emotions and thoughts about BBM.  Thank you to everyone for sharing!

welcome bookgirl!
I think you will find this a great place to get support and understanding for your love for this film.  I know I have.
mary
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Offline shesanapagirl

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #58 on: January 06, 2006, 03:45:15 PM »
I have been enjoying this website and Brokeback Mountain threads for about a week now.  Although it is nice to see so many straight women enjoying the film and commenting here, I haven't seen many posts from women who are gay.  I saw this great film with my partner and gay friends.  We all cried seeing Jack's fate as we have friends who have been bashed because of who they are. 
I applaud the two incredible and "A" list actors who took on the challenge to show two gay characters that have never been seen before on mainstream media. 
The thing that is most remarkable about this movie is the fact that it does not have to be a movie about two "gay cowboys."  It could have been about two women or a man and a woman from different backgrounds.  Anyone could place themselves in the this role and know what sort of pain the characters feel.  This movie is about a love that is denied.  An unrequited love relieved by short spurts of passion.
I can't wait to see it again.

Offline bookgirl

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Re: Another woman who loves Brokeback Mountain
« Reply #59 on: January 06, 2006, 04:47:19 PM »
I just saw BBM today for my third time.  I wanted to go one more time before it becomes a "gee I need to see it" movie.  The first two times were at the local "Art House" theatre which has been the only place in town to see it.  Both times very respectful crowds which made watching BBM a great experience.  Today was a little more in line with sydney's earlier post about the crowd noise.  Since this was all adults they weren't so bad but I was shocked when so many people laughed out loud when Alma sees Jack and Ennis embracing and kissing in the stairwell.   I don't know if it's embarassment or just ignorance but it sure messed with my movie experience >:(

I think I'm becoming too "possessive" about this movie.  BBM has become such a personal experience for me that it actually ticks me off when others don't see it that way!  I thought for sure that when I saw it today I would be better prepared for the emotional impact but boy was I wrong.  There is so much being said on the faces of Jack and Ennis that they aren't capable of saying out loud that it hurts to watch them.  The acting in BBM is extrodinary and even though my heart breaks for these two men the time I get to spend in their world always seem too short.

The DVD can not get here soon enought!  Until then, I'll be at the theatre getting my BBM fix.