Hi all,
I'm not really neeeew but, I'd like to say hello to all!
First off I found out about BBM through googleing Heath Ledger. I love him as an actor. After finding out about BBM I drove my co-workers crazy until I got to see it. Which was in Jan. 29th/06. I bought the first ticket! I went back twice after that. Which includes the last showing the theater had. I actually got into trouble with my boss for having a pic of Jake in my desk. He told me to get rid of it. I did.........and replaced it with a stick figure wearing a cowboy hat! He was annoyed, I loved it! He went to a company convention and the comedian they hired was Jay Leno......well, he joked about BBM. When my boss returned to work he made a statement at our meeting saying "No more talk about BBM"! I was laughing.
Anywho, I'm 40 and single at this point. I was in a 12yr relationship that my partner ended (I can't blame him). Since then I have been on my own. I started dating a married guy. I know, I know, but his wife knows he's gay. She will not give him a divorce. After meeting me and dating for a few months he filed for one. She was gonna take everything. ( I had the whole story here but thought I'd better take it out. We live in small Townes and I'd hate for anything to happen to him due to me.) We only talk and go to lunch every now and again since. His child has about 2 more years of school. My friend has gotten to the point that after his child graduates he doesn't care what his wife does to him, he needs out. I don't know if we'll be together after his divorce. I'd be willing to date, but who knows? I haven't sat around waiting for him, and he asked me not to, said it would be unfair of him. He could've asked, but I wasn't just gonna sit around waiting, and I would have told him that. I have told him of every guy I dated and told every guy I dated of him. I'm not one to just jump in the sack, so, unfortunately (perhaps) my relationships with these gentlemen didn't last long. Which is fine by me. I just think there's more to a relationship than sex. Sex is an important part but not a defining factor.
My friends have called me naive. I tell them I'm 40........I think the word is stupid now! lol. They say my relationships (for lack of a better term) don't last because I don't put out. If that's the case so be it. I'm fine, and I can wait ( I think?). Although, not to many shopping days left till Christmas lol. Hopeless romantic?, you bet! I'm not mushy though!
I gave a copy of BBM to the friend I spoke of above. Knowing he'd never go see it. I wanted to see if it would move him in any way. When I asked him what he thought. He didn't say much. Which tells me (because I know him so well) he was touched. I'm sure he saw alot of him in those characters. Again, he doesn't necessarily have to be with me. Just be happy, that's all I want for him. So if he finds happiness in me great. If he finds it in someone else, I'll be disappointed but very happy for him.
When I watch BBM I don't cry. The movie fills me with strength. It stirs a longing in me that I know I'll complete. Even if I don't, I'll know I didn't settle and remained true to myself. So I can be happy in whatever life throws my way. I was stagnant in life before watching BBM. Since my BBM experience I've busied myself with making changes to move forward with life. I don't plan on missing a thing. Everything that happened to me in life to this point has made me the person I am. So I treasure every past experience good or bad. They complete me.
Thanks for reading!