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OUR COMMUNITY => Meet Your Neighbors => Topic started by: Adrian on January 21, 2008, 04:56:41 PM

Title: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Adrian on January 21, 2008, 04:56:41 PM
Hey everyone - Jackie (PaintedShoes) has been one of the original members on this forum - our "honorary" Moderator, great friend, confidante, and Ambassador.  This thread is for her.  "Meet Your Neighbours" was one of Jackie's favorite parts of the forum, so, we thought it appropriate to open it here.  This thread is for anyone and everyone who would like to talk about meeting Jackie, knowing Jackie, posting pictures, talking about her life, and just generally what an amazing lady she is.  A "Sentimental Journey" - any information that is allowed to be public will be posted in here and hopefully through friends/family we can keep all updated.  Whatever way the Miracle goes, the Universe is on her side.

Major Developments in Jackie's situation will be posted here:

Email from Jackie's daughter on Jan. 21 (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1150016#msg1150016)

Jackie passed away, Jan. 23 2008 (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1152670#msg1152670)

Comments from Jackie's daughter-in-law, Jan. 23 (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1153145#msg1153145)

An Invite, from Jackie's daughter, to a Memorial Gathering Sat Jan. 26th (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1153369#msg1153369)

A message from Jackie's Daughter-In-Law, Paula (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1157020#msg1157020)

Memorial Gathering Photos (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1161415#msg1161415)

Announcement for scattering Jackie's ashes in Oxford in June (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1205611#msg1205611)

Jackie's Family Receives the Book from the Forum (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1241105#msg1241105)

Jackie Arrives in England (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1314716#msg1314716)

Roses for Jackie on Brokenback Mountain, WY (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1322653#msg1322653)

Jackie's Summer Solstice (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1323440#msg1323440)

‘Tahitian Skies’...in memory of Jackie, by Bass51/Lenny (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1333882#msg1333882)  (File is available for download)

In Loving Memory (Video) (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1486802#msg1486802) - January 21, 2009
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 21, 2008, 04:59:26 PM
Jackie, all my thoughts and prayers are going out to you right now.

I love you honey.  You're one of the best people I have ever, ever known.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 21, 2008, 05:00:55 PM
Thanks for opening this thread to a well deserved recipient...

Will sort out all my thoughts and photos...

Jackie wanted all her friends to stick together and support her, so here we are...

LOVE YOU JACKIE  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 21, 2008, 05:02:56 PM
I love you, Ms. Jiminy - my thoughts and prayers are for YOU
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi136.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq161%2Fmarcuscarolus%2FBBM%2FJackie.jpg&hash=d6d375d2a0e572a46a9872cec947c967)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 21, 2008, 05:05:28 PM
I just don't know what to say anymore, maybe I could share a PM that she sent me at Thanksgiving;

Dear Lola,

One of my customs at Thanksgiving time is to assess the gifts for which I am thankful.  Getting to know you a little has been one of the sweetest ones.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, and all who are precious to you. Yes, I know yours was last month, but humor me, ok?   

Hugs,
Jackie


 :'(


I typed her back "well aren't you the sweetest little thing"  and she typed back "believe me,  I'm not that sweet"  :D


Well I beg to differ Jackie, you are one of the sweetest people on this board and you are a fighter!!!   So fight my love!


We love you...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 21, 2008, 05:05:34 PM
Love you Jackie, a wonderful friend, a delightful travelling companion, someone to confide in, and one to share a lot of laughter.

Thank you, and we over here on the other side of the river are still praying hard for you, that what is best may happen.

We were honored that you visited us, and I'm grateful for the times visiting you.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 21, 2008, 05:07:14 PM
Thanks, Adrian, for getting this thread going. We are going to need it.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 21, 2008, 05:08:47 PM
Dear Jackie,

Just a quick note here to let you know that my thought and prayers are with you.

I will hold you in my mind and send you good thoughts.

Much love,

Michael
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 21, 2008, 05:09:02 PM
Thank you, and we over here on the other side of the river are still praying hard for you, that what is best may happen.
That is really the best we could pray for, dear dear Fritz - that what is best may happen, what is best for Jackie.

Good night, my friends...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 21, 2008, 05:09:26 PM
Here is a post from Jackie January 2006 - Could not quote it as the thread is locked...


Hello to ALL of my friends here.  I just came back from seeing the movie for the 8th time...the emotions are stiill washing over my like some kind of healing waters.  After reading these last few posts, I hope that all of you can remember why we are all here, why we love this film...that somehow it has enabled all of us to find some kind of healing of our souls...illuminating the pain, the joy, the passion that all of us want, or had, or miss.  We are a family in the best possible sense because we choose each other.  I admire and respect each of you for the insights into yourselves that you have chosen to share, for isn't that what this film teaches us...to share of ourselves with those we love...to BE ourselves for those we treasure.  Let's go on from here.

This really sums up our wonderful Jackie's heart and spirit :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Adrian on January 21, 2008, 05:11:35 PM
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on
Through the wind
Walk on
Through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on
Walk on
Oh walk on

Walk on
With hope
Hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 21, 2008, 05:12:10 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi80.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj170%2Fdsqsing%2FIM000297.jpg&hash=71bc7089b3d6ab351881e327ebd4f04e)


Bay City, Michigan
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nadine on January 21, 2008, 05:13:26 PM
Hello Jackie. I only know you by your "Painted Shoes" pseudonym and I haven't had the pleasure of your company and friendship,but I want to wish you all the strength in the world to fight the illness that's besieging you right now.

You are obviously dearly loved by many people and there will be many prayers going up for you tonight,including from me. Hang on in there, we are all willing you to get better.

God bless you and keep you safe,
Love Nadine xx
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 21, 2008, 05:16:13 PM
... and let us not forget Boris'/Jari's famous words:

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 21, 2008, 05:16:18 PM
Originally posted in the "Affected Me" thread, but I've copied it here.









I will never forget when I first reached 1,000 posts, and I started a thread about what my special name should be.  I received a number of joking replies, all of which made me laugh.

And then Jackie posted, and said I should be called "Faithful Friend", because that was the one description that she felt fit me the most.  I was so touched, I called to thank her, and it became my "tag" here, and it will never change.

When the Texas BBQ took place in '06, my direct flight from NJ to Tx had ended up becoming 2 layovers, and many missed flights due to a security scare.  What was supposed to be a flight landing at noon on Thursday, beccame an 18 hour ordeal that ended just after midnight, so technically Friday AM.

I got off that plane, and bleary-eyed, tried to locate my bags.  When I found them, there was a touch on my shoulder from behind, and I heard "Hello Faithful Friend".   It was Jackie, she had come to the airport to meet me, and she gave my weary body a big hug.

I've since had the good fortune to see Jackie many times over the next two years, twice at her apartment, once in Ocean City, once in Bay City, once in NYC, and once in Colorado.  Every time she saw me, I was greeted the same way, with a big hug and a "Faithful Friend".

When I went through hard times, she would call me to check up on me, and always made time to take my calls when I needed to talk.

Jackie, I'm sending all my prayers and love, and if I could, my strength as well.








(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FNYC%2520Gathering%2FNYCGathering033.jpg&hash=e8345c5f9e308bbf52108c69c4410c1b)


She's just a few hours drive from me
she lives on the same coast
a woman that we all hold dear
and who would frequently post
to this forum where she made friends
where she'd spend parts of her day
and little did she know
she touched our hearts along the way
with the way she shared her feelings
and the way she talked to us
free with her time and her emotions
and she never raised a fuss
I'm sure that Jackie knows
that we're praying for her now
and we'd take this pain from her
if we truly just knew how
so let's hold on to each other
while we pray to God above
focus now on Jackie
and we'll send her all our love





we love you, Jackie!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 21, 2008, 05:16:22 PM
Dear Jackie,

Thank you for being a great friend. 

For having me to your apartment for a luncheon,
for helping me continue making some big changes in my life.
For talking to me on the phone when I was sad,
for giving me advice about how to find volunteer work. 

For your laughs and your smiles,
and your way of always looking on the bright side of things.
You never talked about your own problems --
that's why I didn't realize at first that you were so sick.

How I hoped that we could meet this January at the Red Lobster,
as you had suggested.
Just a little thing, but I remember the way you said you loved their clam chowder,
just as I loved their trout.

How I hope that we can still meet again someday when you are feeling better.

But in the meantime, I remember the last time I saw you,
Giving us a ride back to the hotel after the Sunday dinner at the DC Slash Bash.
I'm so glad that you were able to take that three-day weekend off
and enjoy being with all of us while you could.

Please know how much I am thinking of you now.
 :-*    :-*    :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 21, 2008, 05:16:56 PM
... and let us not forget Boris'/Jari's famous words:

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN

Amen. May it be.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 21, 2008, 05:17:14 PM
Here is a post from Jackie January 2006 - Could not quote it as the thread is locked...

We are a family in the best possible sense because we choose each other.  I admire and respect each of you for the insights into yourselves that you have chosen to share, for isn't that what this film teaches us...to share of ourselves with those we love...to BE ourselves for those we treasure.  Let's go on from here.[/b]

This really sums up our wonderful Jackie's heart and spirit :)

Oh Wayne, thanks for this.

I can't think of a time when I needed Jackie and she wasn't there for me, it just never happened. She has always been available, no matter the hour, no matter what difficulties in her own life.....she was always there for me, and for so many of us.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 21, 2008, 05:19:01 PM
Remember Jackie, we've still got a date to go to the Delaware Art Museum to see the Pre-Raphaelites, whenever you're ready!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 21, 2008, 05:23:20 PM
And don't forget Jackie, that you and I have a date to go to Mackinaw Island for the 'Somewhere In Time' weekend.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 21, 2008, 05:24:10 PM
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on
Through the wind
Walk on
Through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on
Walk on
Oh walk on

Walk on
With hope
Hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone



Amen


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01L3poHPaNI&feature=related
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 21, 2008, 05:26:16 PM
And my last post for today: remember we have a date, Jackie: we are going to be roomies again, in Oxford! In the most gorgeous place we can find ;).
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nikki on January 21, 2008, 05:28:08 PM


Dear Jackie,

We've never met or talked, but the love of your Forum friends are reflections of the love and kiindness you have brought here.  My thoughts and prayers are with you now and always.

Nikki
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bubo on January 21, 2008, 05:31:37 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi147.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr308%2FNewport_Beach_Girl%2FJake%2520G%2FCollections%2FExpressions%2F026b.jpg&hash=71142448d972f2583e5f75c215f686b9)

Peace   Love   &   Painted Shoes
Forever

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi147.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr308%2FNewport_Beach_Girl%2FHolidays%2FHearts%2F014.jpg&hash=7e6c0301973056491af759db51004bc7)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 21, 2008, 05:31:37 PM
Jackie,

You and I don't bump elbows often here on the forum, but that made no matter what so ever when we met first in Chicago then in Estes Park.  Your loving embrace and instant friendship is what always stands out to me when I think of you - which I do often.  You are an inspiration.  David and I send all our love to you, a small portion of what you send to all of us.

Monica
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: peanut on January 21, 2008, 05:32:19 PM
The very first Brokie even I went to was in Colorado last year.  Jackie was there.  I didn't get to spend a lot of time
visiting with her, but there was one thing that struck me about her...........   I noticed that all the people in Colorado
flocked to her.  It was so very, very clear how much she was loved by everyone there.
Everyone ! 

Jackie makes us all feel special. 

I pray that God will hold her hand thru this journey.

K

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Roco on January 21, 2008, 05:42:27 PM
FOR JACKIE

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faycu11.webshots.com%2Fimage%2F41410%2F2003705033790790864_rs.jpg&hash=b1df87a0192ca0987d04d58e3205669e)


I believe for every drop of rain that falls
A flower grows
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night
A candle glows
I believe for everyone who goes astray, someone will come
To show the way
I believe, I believe

I believe above a storm the smallest prayer
Can still be heard
I believe that someone in the great somewhere
Hears every word

Everytime I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky
Then I know why, I believe


I BELIEVE

Words and Music by ... Erwin Drake - Irvin Graham - Jimmy Shirl - Al  Stillman
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nadine on January 21, 2008, 05:50:10 PM
Amen to that Roco,Amen!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: andy/Claude on January 21, 2008, 05:56:40 PM

                                          And you are expected here on the Isle of Wight in June..... :-*


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi175.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw155%2FAndyflyhi%2FPeople%2F2007_0427self20006.jpg&hash=25ef519ebe21e408314fce9f237b3814)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: andy/Claude on January 21, 2008, 05:58:27 PM
                        Your room is ready for you.......


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi175.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw155%2FAndyflyhi%2FHome%2F2007_0513self20010.jpg&hash=f9285fbbca0df33d66250d24898e35fb)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 21, 2008, 06:03:18 PM
BayCityJohn, Jaysmommy (Trish) and our Beloved Jackie
Chicago Slash Bash Fall '06
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2FJackieChicagobash06.jpg&hash=5a2fb0d3b92ac5eee1bed17208e8ea0f)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 21, 2008, 06:12:38 PM
Another Chicago Slash Bash '06 pic
Trish, Jackie and Trink (me, Di)
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2Fjackietrishdichicagobash06.jpg&hash=1caab89928a79cc704276633e0d2470f)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Dal on January 21, 2008, 06:13:55 PM
 We'll really miss you Sweetie   :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desperadum on January 21, 2008, 06:20:32 PM
Sweet Jackie -

Please know you are very much in my thought and prayers, and in the thoughts and prayers of so many who's lives you have touched.

Hugs,

John
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 21, 2008, 06:23:39 PM
Jackie and I - BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BBQ 2007 ESTES PARK, COLORADO 
Right after the group pics were taken, people were filtering back into the lodge and Jackie yelled at me,
"Trink, Come on, let's get our picture taken together!"
I will be forever grateful for that

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2FBBMBBQdijackie.jpg&hash=3d1cb967e31d3f19304a4f95c930c54d)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 21, 2008, 06:24:56 PM
On Jackie's balcony:

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00611.jpg&hash=1911e36fce0aab590d87fa5e73428ae7)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: atruant on January 21, 2008, 06:25:21 PM
Dearest Jackie,

Our thoughts are with you.

You go, girl!

John and Chuck
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 21, 2008, 06:26:33 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00622.jpg&hash=61cfc4748aaff065a3f0337cea255fac)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 21, 2008, 06:26:37 PM
Jackie and I - BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BBQ 2007 ESTES PARK, COLORADO 
Right after the group pics were taken, people were filtering back into the lodge and Jackie yelled at me,
"Trink, Come on, let's get our picture taken together!"
I will be forever grateful for that

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2FBBMBBQdijackie.jpg&hash=3d1cb967e31d3f19304a4f95c930c54d)


 :-* :-* thank you Mrs. Robinson!!!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 21, 2008, 06:27:13 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00627.jpg&hash=8bcea01153c806abada60a6f32483d52)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caithness on January 21, 2008, 06:39:33 PM
Jackie, my heart.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi115.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn286%2Flyth21%2Fpaintedshoes.jpg&hash=cbbf451ca3604fa1700f35c16b69ba61)

Painted Shoes

Always in my mind, engraved upon my heart.

"We are the lucky ones."

(((((((((((((((((((Jackie))))))))))))))))))))

I love you forever.

Malcolm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Thunder88 on January 21, 2008, 06:40:46 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi154.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs269%2FCephie88%2Fbbmshirts.jpg&hash=f8f882d79cda0c38eb2a12bd99776d3c)

Jackie,

I remember crying with you while watching the trailer to BBM when we hung out in my room in Chicago. I remember someone trying to take our food. I remember taking the nap on the big, ass bed and talking to much to really sleep. I remember you holding my hand while we were crying outside before the movie in Chicago. I remember Bay City and our 'round table' discussions.

Come what may, you are a part of who I am now. Changed and reshaped by a force of nature.

I remember, I will never forget.

Love,

Terry



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brian on January 21, 2008, 06:44:03 PM
Jackie, My prayers are rising from the other side of the world. I know I received a welcome from you when I joined the forum and also a message saying you were sorry we did not meet when I visited Washington last April.Your care and love were obvious in your messages.  When your many Stateside friends are asleep, there will be prayers still supporting you from the opposite time zone.
'As o’er each continent and island
The dawn leads on another day,
The voice of prayer is never silent,
Nor dies the strain of praise away.'
Brian
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 21, 2008, 06:47:47 PM
On Jackie's balcony:

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00611.jpg&hash=1911e36fce0aab590d87fa5e73428ae7)


Dear Fritz,

Thank you for posting these pictures from the day we spent at Jackie's apartment. 

There is so much sunshine on this balcony, and it's such a good picture of Jackie.  We must try to remember moments like these. 

This was the day when I really got to know Jackie and realized what a big heart she had.  It was a day of total happiness, sitting for hours at her table and laughing.

To you and Chuck, who are particularly close to Jackie, I am sending big hugs.  I know this is a very tough time right now, but we will all get through this by sticking together and helping each other deal with all the emotions.

Meanwhile, I join you in praying for Jackie.  Let's be as optimistic as possible; she'll never give up.

Debbie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: whiplash on January 21, 2008, 06:54:29 PM
Oh my Dear and Sweetest Jackie.  Like most people here, I spent a small amount of time with you but I feel as if I have known you a lifetime.  We spent one incredible dinner and breakfast at Slash Bash and many e-mails and pm's since and each of those have filled my life with your kind and optimistic spirit.  You are in my thoughts and prayers always.  ~Lydia

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi56.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg166%2Fnopin%2Fjackie.jpg&hash=6e42cc246df5fb042f058d5d24de6b8b)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NWWaguy on January 21, 2008, 07:05:44 PM
I never got to meet you, but you will always be in my heart in a special way.  I pray for you and wish you all the best!  :-*

Steve
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 21, 2008, 07:05:45 PM
Oh my beautiful hermana...please get better....

I love you !!

Chicago Slash Bash '06

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2FJackiewithnellschicagobash06.jpg&hash=616d5ff64e75633610613c5b70d1c353)

Bay City Feb. '07

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2Fjackiewithnellsbaycityfeb07.jpg&hash=816dbe8d0153673f5e03abba20280d15)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 21, 2008, 07:05:57 PM
Jackie and I met very early on here in the forum. She was the first forum member to come visit me at my home in Boerne.

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We had the BEST time visiting all the sights and admiring the local "architecture".  :D

I am sending my prayers up for her especially, and for strength for her family and for her huge family here. She truly is mom, big sis, sister and EVERYTHING to all of us here. She said to me at Christmas when we spoke, how much she loves all of us here. We all know this, and have felt it everyday she is with us, from the very beginning.

I am hoping and praying for the miracle. I know you have been strong for us, Jackie. I hope you call on all ours now, when you need it the most.

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Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bethie on January 21, 2008, 07:07:38 PM
Jackie is the most awesome person I've ever met. I don't know how a person
can have such a great big giant heart. It blows me away... her loving, her kindness, her
generosity.

 I love you so so much.

Jackie always told me after ever gathering that there will never be good-byes said.
It was always... Till next time.

Till next time, Jackie!  :-* :-*

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 21, 2008, 07:15:18 PM
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.....and Jackie knows how to turn an exit into an entrance!

David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Melisande on January 21, 2008, 07:21:45 PM
Jackie's been such a wonderful friend to so many here, welcoming and loving, always there to listen and help. We've met only once, at the Chicago Slash Bash, where she rescued a situation by pretending to be some slashers' stern mother! She always knows the right thing to do. Including when she turned down my pleas that she become a mod, because it's perfect that she be just as she is.

Jackie, my thoughts are with you. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 21, 2008, 07:29:07 PM
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Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 21, 2008, 07:32:58 PM
((((jackie))))

Thinking of you tonight.  Hoping and sending
prayers and thoughts that you get better.

love you,

gerry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 21, 2008, 07:33:39 PM

Jackie always reads the Photo Captions thread......she'd like these.....




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"Now now now, Chuckilicious, remove your hand from my knee!"
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovelyamazing on January 21, 2008, 07:33:49 PM
Adrian you posted these words: "Whatever way the Miracle goes, the Universe is on her side."

One year and a few days ago, my mother was struggling in the zone between life and death and I would sustain my spirits through Jackie's signature, hoping for that impossible miracle.
Jackie then told me something similar to what you have said here and it is this belief that I internalized from that day and which helped me to see through my mother's passage into another, more beautiful place.

Jackie you are the only person here that I address as "Didi" - the Indian word for elder sister. That's how I feel about you.
You have held me to your heart and nurtured me, you have helped me at a time when I was really struggling to make ends meet. You will never know how much that "manna from heaven" meant to me at the time and will always mean to me. It is a "forever" blessing from your heart, a heart that has unlimited room.

God be with you

Your Maya
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 21, 2008, 07:36:05 PM
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"You did what with my make up?"
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 21, 2008, 07:51:02 PM
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Jaclyn - you're in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.

Love,
Mitchell

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Passion on January 21, 2008, 07:51:26 PM
Jackie-
You have made such a difference on this forum----caring for so many of us!  I hope that you feel all the love and support that is being sent your way. 
Love Always-
April
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 21, 2008, 08:06:47 PM
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.....and Jackie knows how to turn an exit into an entrance!

David

Oh what a wonderful picture!!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: KittyHawk on January 21, 2008, 08:19:33 PM
Jackie, we've had such fun in our special little Friends of Jonathan and James or FJJ group!

Remember winning your bet on the Kentucky Derby last year?  ;)

And such work you contributed as an editor of Beyond Brokeback! That's really something to be proud of. I treasure the autograph you wrote in my book when we met - all too briefly - at Estes Park. I'm glad we became friends, too.

All my thoughts and prayers are with you.

KittyHawk
AKA Lydia
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 21, 2008, 08:21:45 PM
message from LuvJackNasty at EnnisJack.com:

I don't know Jackie, but I am so sorry to hear that she is suffering. I'll keep her and her family and friends in my thoughts and prayers. (https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2Fgrouphug.gif&hash=8069eb7e3a52903ff8ef4dfac625aa49)


http://ennisjack.com/index.php?topic=12650.msg671709#msg671709 (http://ennisjack.com/index.php?topic=12650.msg671709#msg671709)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 21, 2008, 08:27:40 PM
message from Shasta542 at Bettermost

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I don't know Jackie, but it's obvious that she is a well-loved Brokie. She has visited so many of you and you her.

Hugs and prayers for Jackie and all who know her.



http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,15100.msg320335.html#msg320335 (http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php/topic,15100.msg320335.html#msg320335)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Flyboy on January 21, 2008, 08:31:15 PM
Jackie was one the 1st to greet me as new member, and offer me advice and guidance, encouragement, and mostly to breathe deeply and take it slow(er)! She seemed to have that unusual ablility to get you, to understand. Her presence here knows no boundaries, everyone on this Forum has been touched by her, either directly or indirectly. Know this: Everyone is praying in their own way for you Jackie...........sending warm wishes and thoughts your way today and always!

Jonn
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Petrus Christus on January 21, 2008, 08:48:41 PM
Jackie and I - BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BBQ 2007 ESTES PARK, COLORADO 
Right after the group pics were taken, people were filtering back into the lodge and Jackie yelled at me,
"Trink, Come on, let's get our picture taken together!"
I will be forever grateful for that

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  (Thank you Trink for posting this lovely picture!)

  It wasn't but a few steps away from the very site pictured in this foto, that I first laid eyes on you dear, dear Jackie; that I first heard your sweet voice call my name as I was searching for Osprey, theBriGuy, John Beene, and a few others that I'd come unannounced to Estes Park to find, embrace, and tell them in person just how much I loved them.
  I knew you were going to be there by the guest list that was posted weeks before on the Forum, but somehow, I didn't think I'd actually meet you, but fate made sure I did.
  When I turned and got my first look at your beautiful, smiling, sunshine face, and felt the warmth of your heartfelt embrace, joy raced throughout my body!
  We said a few words of mutual appreciation and admiration, and then you did something no other brokie did......., you whipped out your copy of 'Beyond Brokeback' and asked me to autograph one of my 2 printed posts.  I was so gratified by your simple act of kindness and love, dear Jackie!
  I came away from my too brief visit with you feeling truly fortunate to have met you, hugged you in such a warm embrace, and having the opportunity to express to you just how much I thought of you.

  It has been said that Love is Eternal, that Love lives forever.
  My dear, sweet Sister, please know that you live in my love now, and will do so until the ever-dancing electric impulses that animate my body cease their joyous frenzy.
  Beyond that, may we dance the Love dance together in Spirit, before the shining face of God.

  You have my Heart forever.

  your Zad

 
 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: huntinbuddy on January 21, 2008, 08:51:49 PM
First hearing the news on Jackie a few days ago for me was hardest punch to the gut since I viewed BBM the second time two years ago and cried my eyes out.  I feel so helpless that all I can do is pray to God of all creation that she be returned to good health. This news was so heartbreaking to hear about the one person who has given more of her soul than any other to this forum.  We love you Jackie, and are praying for your return to our sanctuary.

Charlie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Petrus Christus on January 21, 2008, 09:05:29 PM


  If some of us knew what Hospital,and in what city, our dear sister is being cared for, I'm certain that (if she were not in Intensive Care), some of us could organize a visitation group and be at her bedside with our Love.
 
  Any thoughts?

  Zad
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: loneleeb3 on January 21, 2008, 09:15:33 PM
I just heard the news form Cuck about Jackie over on Bettermost.
My heart is breaking for all of her friends here and her family.
After my trip to San Fran I met so many wonderful people From DCF that I came over and joined.
Jackie was one of the first to welcome me with open arms.
Simple acts of kindness are always remembered and let you really see a person for who they are.
I wish I could have gotten to know Jackie better. I pray that God will hear our prayers and that will be a possibility.
God Bless you Jackie.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 21, 2008, 10:09:59 PM
I'm not good with words at a time like this.......

I met Jackie at San Antonio Airport in August 06. She was waiting for Nick F and myself to get off a very delayed flight from the UK. I knew her instantly!!  We had the biggest hug!!  Unbeknown to Nick she had hid Rob behind a pillar just a few feet away from us and was more worried we might spot Rob first!!! 

My thoughts, love and prayers are with Jackie, her family and her forum family at this hard time.

{{{{{Jackie}}}}}

Sal     :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 21, 2008, 10:15:57 PM
Jackie was among the first to welcome me into this forum... almost two years ago. She was also the first Brokie I met. It is very fitting that when we met she was acting as an angel who picked me up from Dulles airport and welcomed me to stay overnight when I was left stranded there and my flight left without me.

Miracles do happen, that I am sure of. Maybe our miracle already did and it is to know her.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ifyoucantfixit on January 21, 2008, 10:28:31 PM


       Dear jackie;

           You are truly one of the sweetest Brokies i have ever met.  You were so free and generous with yourself and your
souvenirs from the movie.  I tried on the coat and hat, at your insistance...i love the photo and thank you very much for
you dear generosity.  i will be praying for your comfort and well being.  Sending you all the energy and love it is possible to
send.  praying you have ease and resolution.  hoping that guidance and strength will also be given to your family.  That
they may help you thru this terrible ordeal..  i hope the surgery is successful, and you are healed to your old and wonderful
self.  This too shall pass.  you will hopefully receive that wonderful miracle of a cure.  Given by the joined at the heart love
from all the Brokie friends and pals...Will hold you in our hearts.          Love and may you be strengthened and healed..janice
 ifyoucantfixit..........[{{[[{{[[hugs and kisses}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sfericsf on January 21, 2008, 10:41:04 PM
Sendin' up a prayer of thanks for the blessing of being able to meet Jackie and experience her love and warmth she gives us all.  Also sendin' up a prayer for her recovery, so we can all see her smiling face again soon.  :)

Healing massages all around!  We love you Jackie!!!

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Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: royandronnie on January 21, 2008, 10:45:09 PM
Dear Jackie,

It would be something to be loved as you are here. It must be because you always have a smile on your face--not a polite smile, but a big ear-to-ear grin. I know it means a lot to your family, too, to know how many others you have touched. No little thing.

Love from my bit of the Mountain,
Charlotte
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Aile on January 21, 2008, 10:58:37 PM
Jackie,

I am mostly just a lurker here, and I have never met you, but I have enjoyed reading your posts over the past year.  I was so saddened to read of this news.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you, and I truly believe that everything is possible.  With so many wonderful friends, the angels are sure to listen.

M.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sunspot on January 21, 2008, 11:15:30 PM
 
I first met Jackie in San Antonio at the BBQ - we spoke several times after that, though - sometimes the LA Posse would call Jackie during one of our parties (she was always up!).  I took this shot of her with my crappy cell phone camera - it's Jackie hugging the shirts at the BBQ:

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This image stayed on my cell phone for months before I finally moved it off to my computer.  Don't know why I held onto it so long - the colors are all crazy, it's blurry and the resolution is junk, but I guess it would mean a lot to any of us, right?  She's certainly the heart of the online Brokie community to me, and has been pretty much since I realized a community was forming around this time two years ago.

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Below it he drove a nail and on the nail he hung the wire hanger and the two old shirts suspended from it. He stepped back and looked
at the ensemble through a few stinging tears.

“Jack, I swear -- “ he said, though Jack had never asked him to swear anything and was himself not the swearing kind.

 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: freetraveller on January 21, 2008, 11:23:10 PM
My thoughts and prayers for one of the most kind-hearted and generous people I've ever met, if only online.
((((((((Jackie)))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: welles on January 21, 2008, 11:37:39 PM
i was with sunspot and the rest of the LA group at the texas bbq - as we first arrived, making our way around the back of the house late that nite, the first person i saw was jackie.  having been drop-kicked into this unknown world in rural texas from cyberspace, wondering if we'd all be running screaming from all the possible nutcases lurking in the bushes, jackie stood in silhouette glancing up at the light on the back porch where someone was about to make an announcement.  i told her the next day that, even though i was from hollywood and was almost never starstruck, i'd felt a sliver of it when i met her.

anyone who spent any time on this forum knows exactly what i meant.   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ayuni on January 22, 2008, 12:23:29 AM
Jackie

God picks the best

Love,
Ayuni
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chapeaugris on January 22, 2008, 12:53:38 AM
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I gave this wind chime to Jackie to thank her for driving me and my daughter to the summer camp an hour from her house last July. I felt so lucky to be able to spend 2 solid hours alone with her just talking. When I drove my daughter to the school bus this morning I told her the news and we both cried. I keep reminding myself that at least Jackie had these last two years with Brokeback and the forum. We will be sure and raise a toast to her in Oxford.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 22, 2008, 02:46:11 AM

Whenever I think of Jackie, my dearest Dervish Broccolette,
a beautiful image, a peculiar detail from the movie 'American Beauty'
immediately comes to mind:
a solitary plastic bag, blown by the wind from one corner to the next,
magically uplifted, wandering around,
caressed by our glances and thoughts,
overlooked, then focussed on again.
A day in our lives.
Between concentration and letting go,
between being the center of attention and stepping aside.
Jackie and I have often exchanged our reflections about the metaphorical quality of this image,
and whenever we saw another tumbleweed object flying in the air,
she thought of me,
and I thought of her.
Very fondly.

Today I'll try to follow this metaphor of life fly by its own wings through the Mediterranean blue sky.
And I know, deep down in my heart, that it's the same sky over all our heads and over Jackie's head.
I watch the wind blown object. I won't let it go with my eyes. I won't even dare to close them for a second.
I'll make sure it takes off, towards the clouds and, only five seconds later, lands on the ground again.
Where I can pick it up, caress it for a moment and let it loose again, to its own freedom and independence.

These are my feelings for Jackie, and they won't change, only intensify. Like this very wind.
Beautiful, strong and following his own, inprevisible directions.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 22, 2008, 03:14:56 AM
i'm so bad with words, i don't know what i can say and if it would even make a difference if i spoke.

when i first joined this forum, i wouldn't have guessed in my wildest dreams that i would find a sister across the ocean, so different from me and at the same time so similar to me. there is no regret, only thankfulness. the only thing i hope is that jackie knows, every moment of eternity, how much we all love her.
the rest is written in the stars.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bbmbliss on January 22, 2008, 03:32:15 AM
the only thing i hope is that jackie knows, every moment of eternity, how much we all love her.
the rest is written in the stars.

This is quite beautiful Martina.  And says it all for me too.  Thankyou.  :-*

 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: MaineGirl on January 22, 2008, 04:18:42 AM
That is a most beautiful image Ingmar..............
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 22, 2008, 04:58:49 AM
jackie, the first face i saw when i set foot on texas ground two years ago when she and jan picked me up at the airport
jackie,my sweet sister who was there for me so many times, when i went trough a very hard time and there she was in the middle of my night when i couldn`t sleep to talk to me and pulled me trough it.
i`m glad i was able to talk to her trough webcam shortly before she was hospitalized,that i ahve heard her voice and seen her face one more time.
 But miracles do happen,so why not for our ((((Jackie))))
hang in there lady  :-* i love you!!


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Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: oceansbetween on January 22, 2008, 06:05:35 AM
Many people have the ability to make others feel at home. Jackie is home. I’ve never met anyone with a bigger heart, more welcoming smile, warmer hug or more joyous laugh.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: beckela on January 22, 2008, 06:13:11 AM
Beautiful words, all, here for a beautiful lady. This is the only pic I have of Jackie when I drove a few up Trail Ridge Road in Colorado last summer. The altitude and rough terrain where we walked were difficult for her, but Jackie remained her delightful self nonetheless!


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Sweet Lady of the Painted Shoes, my thoughts and love are with you.

Becca
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 07:04:13 AM
This morning when I was driving into work, and plugged in my itrip... It took me back to July 2006, when I bought it with Jackie from her local Target...

It was a beautiful hot day, and we were driving down to Solomons's Island, where she introduced me to Maryland Crab Cakes... We walked and chatted along the Boardwalk, and stopped for an Ice Tea and slice of Key Lime Pie, at a beautiful tea house...

She then took me to meet her son and daughter in law on the way back, which was hard, but things turned out OK in the end...

Strange that a small item like an itrip brings back so many memories... 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jstephens9 on January 22, 2008, 07:21:47 AM
Dearest Jackie,

I want you to know that all of my thoughts and prayers are with you. I remember meeting you and talking with you in Colorado. You were one of those people who made me feel comfortable and right at home while I was in a complete group of strangers in a place far from in a place I had never been to. I remember the first time I met you while I was giving t shirts or something out at the lodge in Estes Park. I had seen your forum name and I thought "Painted Shoes" was such a great name. I remember your big, welcoming, and kind smile just like it was yesterday. I know why everyone here likes and admires you so much. I have read many of your posts and that kindness that is part of you comes out in each one. You are a remarkable person, you are part of our Brokie family, and I want so much to see that big warm smile in the future. My every wish is for you to be a part of all of our futures.

Jack (jstephens9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 22, 2008, 07:22:31 AM
In The Diner thread, we are talking about how hard it is to be positive and happy at this time.

Perhaps some happy/funny memories we have of Jackie would be appropriate at this time.  Here is one that came to me just now.


It was in Colorado, and she and I were in the large wagon that was being pulled by horses, going up to the BBQ area, where we were to cook hot dogs on sticks over the open fire.  On the way up, we had commented on how cute the wrangler driving the cart was.

(he was quite the cutie)

As we neared the destination, the way she was sitting in the cart had affected her knee (which had been giving her trouble lately) and she was growing concerned about how she would get out of the cart.

When we got to our destination, Jackie voiced her concerns about needing help, and several forum members attempted to come to her assitance, however it was the cutie wrangler who she readily acccepted help from, with quite the big smile on her face!

 ;D

She gave him a "thank you" hug, and her smile got even bigger!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BBMISwear on January 22, 2008, 07:30:36 AM
I just read every word written in this thread and can't imagine the love Jackie is feeling when she reads what all her friends have to say.  Jackie is by far the sweetest Brokie I have ever met.  Not only that, but she is the most selfless.  Her priority has always been to keep everyone connected - to keep everyone in touch.  That is why she carries that 'black book' around with her every where she goes - collecting names, addresses, phone numbers and emails for as many Brokies as she can to be sure that no matter what happens everyone can be reached and stays connected.

I met Jackie for the first time at the Bay City gathering and was, of course, immediately welcomed by her.  I feel so fortunate to have spent time with her again in Colorado and had a ton of one on one time with her in Washington, D.C. in October as she so generously offered to pick me up at the airport, drop me off at the airport, and called me every morning in my hotel room that weekend to see what we were going to do next!  God Bless you Jackie - you sure know how to make a person feel special!!!  And what Beth/bcatjr mentioned here is so true - Jackie hated saying goodbye - it was ALWAYS 'there will be a next time'.

Jackie, I am thinking of you and sending a million prayers and hugs your way.  Until next time...

Love you!!

Lisa/BBMISwear
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nax on January 22, 2008, 07:33:42 AM
I’m finding it difficult to write anything here except to say that like many here I’ve come to love Jackie very much.  She’s always there for you, always supportive ever encouraging and to many of us she’s been a Mother, a Sister and a Friend and sometimes all three at once.  Jackie is part of the fabric of my life and when I see that patch I never fail to smile. I hold her and her family in my thoughts at this time her generosity of spirit will always be a light in my life.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2FJackie.jpg&hash=c88ed487bc56b4ccaef29b4311ea6ab8)

"Hugs around the Diner"
Love always
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: RodneyWY on January 22, 2008, 08:02:34 AM
My dearest Jackie,

I shall never forget the first time we laid eyes on each other at the lounge in the hotel in Bay City.  It was like we had known each other for years, but we both knew this was the very first time we met...but we didn't waste any time getting to know each other even better!  And then the time we spent with you in College Park, when Eric and I became part of your "harem" -- precious time spent with a precious lady!  And then the time we were able to spend in Estes Park -- again precious time spent wih a precious lady.  And last but definitely not least when I had my health ssues in Colorado in the fall, you would call at least weekly to check on my progress.  I knew I could always count on my wonderful "sister" from Maryland.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers, my dear.  My life is considerably richer since you have been a part of it.

Love always and "hugs around the Diner",
Rodney

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe328%2Flilfritzinfl%2FJackie.jpg&hash=ef1c9e282c98bfaf350fd123d2f733a5)
Our dear friend keeping loving care of Ennis' corduroy jacket and straw hat
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Scott6373 on January 22, 2008, 08:39:19 AM
For Jackie

Walk with me
Through this long hard hike
And you will find
Your muscles hardened
Your will strengthened
Your soul expanded

Give me your hand
And your promise
And I will give you
A new vision of life
We trade off each other
Not because we coose to
But because we need to
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Miaisland on January 22, 2008, 08:46:26 AM
Quote
Welcome, Miaisland....

Nothing will be the same, because you are no longer the same, are you, dear?  Funny how a piece of celluloid can forever change us....if we let it.

I, no we, are here to help you, as and if we can, while you figure things out, just as we are for each other.

Thank you for speaking and again, welcome, welcome home.

These were the first words that welcomed me to the forum. The post was from you, Jackie.

At one point some time later you heard something between the lines in a post of mine. You said you were willing to listen if I needed that. “I have very broad shoulders”, you said. That made me able to try and I started to write things down to send you. Words were hard for me to find, but then and there I started a process.

I am beginning to express something that is very important for me.

Thank you, Jackie!

Hope and love!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 22, 2008, 08:48:39 AM

Truly beautiful, Scott, RodRod & Miapippi!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 22, 2008, 09:06:45 AM
I first met Jackie in May 2006, at bradInblue's place, near the start of an amazing 18 months. That meeting along with, Rob,killersmom, imjackshesennis,  imennisshesjack & brad was very special. 6 people who had a profound effect on where i decided to take my life.

these people talked me out of a dark part of my life into somelight. Some are still here in the forum others I miss and wish were still here.

Jackie will forever be a part of my path forward.


Reasons, reasons, reasons.

We always view our world from the perspective of that which we can see and touch. Our view of life is so limited.

I like the idea of things happening for a reason, if we need to be taught a teacher appears, if we need comfort a mother appears - whether we see them or connect with them is a different matter.

Our lives could be said to be the sum total of all the ways that we touch other people's lives. In that context Jackie has had an enormous life. Stand back, as if from up in space looking back at the earth and overlay all of Jackie's love on the globe, see how far it reaches, how deep it runs. One single soul is able to do all that. This is why we hurt.

The universe sees much more than what we see, it sees further than the ends of our noses. It has greater plans than those which we generally conceive of, those plans must need good souls.

Looking at it this way, makes our own personal pain and sadness seem insignificant. Perhaps Jackie is ready for those greater deeds, perhaps her love is also.


hugs everyone

 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jay63 on January 22, 2008, 09:09:04 AM
Jackie Dear,

As you strap on your armor to do battle with illness,  imagine all of your friends here with sword & shield in hand - right beside you!

Thank you for all the love and care you have lavished on so many at this amazing Forum and in person.   
I look forward to your return,  and having more chances to meet you along the journey.

Love,
Jay
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 22, 2008, 09:23:51 AM
So sorry about the news Big Sister Jackie...


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff70%2FRobinpuyallup%2Fnick751.jpg&hash=0a14bced9f8487e34a8a5a2664d95138)


Your Little Brother's arms are hugging you tight, with love...
Rob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Dave Cullen on January 22, 2008, 09:26:53 AM
I always assume my friends are going to make it. When I got the news that Jackie was sick, I knew it was serious, and I was concerned, but not too fearful. I assumed she would pull through. I thought, Yikes, that's going to be painful, I hope she can bear it. In the first few moments of my mental process, I had a practical concern: How quickly do I have to act? Do I have to drop what I'm doing, run to the store for a card, compose something and get it in the mail today? No, everyone agreed. There was plenty of time. Just do it soon.

We always assume time. Of course we do: it's an extension of what we assume every day. Every time I spoke to Jackie, from the first day I saw her post, I assumed I had more. More time than I could imagine. Long before she knew it, for months, presumably, the cancer was growing inside her, yet she and I and most everyone in her life made the same assumption: No hurry. Lots and lots of time.

Well, no, it turns out. We were almost out of time. Not even time to say goodbye. She is still alive, but she's dying. I did not imagine it coming this quickly if it were to come at all, and I certainly didn't imagine the complications of liver failure: that there would be a mental in-between period, where she remained alive, but it was already to late to giver her warm feelings on her trip wherever a soul goes. God, how I wish I had mailed that card that day. Just so she could have seen it while she knew who I was, while I could still bring her a brief little smile. Too late for that. All I can do is remember to smile at all the other people in my life while I still have a chance. I think I'll call my mom today, and let her know how much she means to me. I don't want to make it a one-time thing, but it's a start.

I'm terrified of saying the wrong thing at these moments, but my heart is screaming at me to remind you guys of how much you mean to me. Jackie's news made me cry yesterday, and again this morning when I read her daughter's sweet but tragic email--just  because she was Jackie, but also because for me, she embodies all of you. I wake up amazed every day that you all are out there, that you, that we have pulled together into something bigger than ourselves. It's comforting to me. It makes me smile. I hope it makes you smile. It hurts very badly to lose Jackie. It's hurts much more today than if we had never known her. But it was so worth it to know her. It's been so worth knowing all of you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 22, 2008, 09:33:59 AM
God, how I wish I had mailed that card that day. Just so she could have seen it while she knew who I was, while I could still bring her a brief little smile. Too late for that. All I can do is remember to smile at all the other people in my life while I still have a chance.

So true, Dave, so true!
And so good to read this post of yours.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Ellen (tellyouwhat) on January 22, 2008, 09:42:08 AM
Thanks Dave for putting into words how I also feel.

Anything I can say here seems inadequate.

In the early days of The Daily Sheet, Jackie used to send me little tidbits.  She was one of my lifelines to threads I couldn't possibly cover.

I met her at the BBQ at Linda's house and I am so glad I had that chance.

Also, she is one person who made simple statements of love and light, when others might be rushing in to "fix" things, or joke or argue, Jackie always stayed simply positive (and caring) with her posts.

Love you, Jackie.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Dave Cullen on January 22, 2008, 09:42:22 AM
A few official matters:

- Jackie's daughter sent out a touching, candid and informative email, which I think we will be able to post here, soon. I don't want to step on any toes, so I'll leave that to others for now.

- I want to honor all Jackie's requests, and help the family in any way possible. Her daughter wrote this in the email (apparently directed to everyone: friends, family, etc.): "The liver failure causes her to be not mentally with it. She recognizes me and my brother, Mark, but generally speaks random nonsense. As much as I know her friends would love to call her, she really won't know who you are.Please do not call. I don't have the mental energy required for conversation at this point." I sincerely hope everyone will respect that request. They have their hands full right now.

- She also said this to FORUM FRIENDS: "Please direct all questions and concerns to Nelly. . . . I'll let her be the spokesperson, as Mom requested." That sounds like a good plan. Let's respect that, too. And we'll have to talk to Nellie and see if she can handle it all. If it's too much, we'll figure out a Plan B on that and let you know.

- As a group, we should think about what we can/should/might do to honor her. Let us know your thoughts. (Post them here, or PM to Adrian.) I keep feeling like we ought to have a flag to fly at half mast when it happens. As much as I scoff at rituals sometimes, it's nice to have something that we know how to do, to signal our respect. I wish I knew what to do.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 22, 2008, 09:49:34 AM
repost from the diner...

The universe sees much more than what we see, it sees further than the ends of our noses. It has greater plans than those which we generally conceive of, those plans must need good souls.

Looking at it this way, makes our own personal pain and sadness seem insignificant. Perhaps Jackie is ready for those greater deeds, perhaps her love is also.

hugs everyone

Thank you Nick.  I know that there are times when life seems incredibly dark - I remember this from a period in my life where I was losing people weekly and daily.  What we need to remember is that Jackie does not want us to hold that darkness in our hearts.  Whenever I would talk about the people I have lost in the mourning thread she was always most comforting and kind.

Whatever the point of all of this pain is (and I don't pretend to know) I can tell you that I do know she would not want us to focus on the hurt and sadness - that she would want you to be comforted and to release and ease your pain.  And in turn I hope that she is not feeling pain and is comforted.

Hugs around the diner.
let me add this to my two dear, wise friends words.

may we not celebrate that of ourselves, or BECAUSE of what we took away from this experience, and from our contacts with jackie, there are few if any of us who have not told those we love, friends and family that we do indeed love them. 

jackie was told, on a daily basis, by thousands of us, that she was special, that she was loved.  who could ask for more of a life.  i know i cherish the love i have given and received here and in the real world.  i will be at peace when my boat sails.  and so i bet it is with jackie.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Ellen (tellyouwhat) on January 22, 2008, 09:54:41 AM
In fact, that is really true, Jack, thank you for that bit of insight.  Sometimes, I admit, some of our forum "love" seems like black and white words that flicker on a screen, but in fact the positive message was reinforced for Jackie over and over.

That is a blessing.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 22, 2008, 09:56:11 AM
Dave....thank you for your posts...

I'm handling everything just fine....so it's okay to continue this route...Adrian is takinginfo from people and PMing him so I'm not bombarded ....but this is all okay....I will continue to do as much as I can,for Jackie...

I too,wanted to call her the other day..and then something came up and I didn't...the weekend came and passed and now this...yes, we can kick ourselves with the "if only I" ...but we can't start doing this to ourselves...Jackie knows darling....Jackie knows...the times I did call Jackie I always said that you all are thinking of her and sending hugs,kisses...and she would always end the conversation with " I love you ,honey"...I'm going to miss this.....this is tearing my heart out....my kids and husband continue to hug me...you all are so very nice by saying so so many beautiful things about Jackie....and this is food for my heart....please continue to talk about her....please remember the good times we had and even the bad...the misunderstandings we had with her....how we grew to know her "tough" side....God, EVERYTHING about her...

((((hugs))))

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 22, 2008, 09:58:02 AM
A few official matters:

- Jackie's daughter sent out a touching, candid and informative email, which I think we will be able to post here, soon. I don't want to step on any toes, so I'll leave that to others for now.

- I want to honor all Jackie's requests, and help the family in any way possible. Her daughter wrote this in the email (apparently directed to everyone: friends, family, etc.): "The liver failure causes her to be not mentally with it. She recognizes me and my brother, Mark, but generally speaks random nonsense. As much as I know her friends would love to call her, she really won't know who you are.Please do not call. I don't have the mental energy required for conversation at this point." I sincerely hope everyone will respect that request. They have their hands full right now.

- She also said this to FORUM FRIENDS: "Please direct all questions and concerns to Nelly. . . . I'll let her be the spokesperson, as Mom requested." That sounds like a good plan. Let's respect that, too. And we'll have to talk to Nellie and see if she can handle it all. If it's too much, we'll figure out a Plan B on that and let you know.

- As a group, we should think about what we can/should/might do to honor her. Let us know your thoughts. I keep feeling like we ought to have a flag to fly at half mast when it happens. As much as I scoff at rituals sometimes, it's nice to have something that we know how to do, to signal our respect. I wish I knew what to do.

Sweetie...no one has her daughter's number but me....and it will not be shared...if in fact there is another person with her number as I'm sure I can think of a couple that may have....no worries...they have the sense to know not to call......thank you Dave,for everything

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 22, 2008, 10:05:21 AM
Oh Jackie. How special a friend you have been to me and to all us.

I met Jackie in Chicago and was lucky enough to spend a special day bonding with her, Maggie and Terry. I learned that day what a rare and wonderful person was among us. She shared her story and her growth and her fears and opened up her heart to strangers. I will never forget the moving moment when she presented Maggie with a special book of poetry that she had inscribed and picked out just for her. We all cried. We watched the BBM trailer on the hotel TV and cried more.

Jackie invited me to her home and made me feel welcome. She kept in touch way better than I. We exchanged phone calls and shared so much. We watched BBM in Bay City holding hands and crying and moving on together. I will treasure all those moments.

I love you Jackie. More than words can possibly say.

Jenny
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: KittyHawk on January 22, 2008, 10:17:13 AM
Nellie has posted the recent  email message (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=23626.msg1149319#msg1149319) from Jackie's daughter.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Dave Cullen on January 22, 2008, 10:34:42 AM
Thanks for the link to the email. Nellie, I think it would be useful for people to have it here, too, and to make this the central place for people to turn to for information as it develops.

If you could repost it here, that would be great. (Leave it in the other thread as well.) And whenever you get news, post it here.

We know that everyone is concerned and most of us are torn between dreading news but needing it. I think the best way to help everyone is by updating the first post of this thread with links to major developments. Once Nellie reposts the email, a mod will add a link to that in the first post, and we'll add future links when big things happen.

Thanks.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Osprey on January 22, 2008, 10:37:21 AM
I just want to say that I take my hat off to our Jackie for a life well lived and a heart well spent.  I am grateful that she is out of it mentally.  While it makes it hard for those who love her, it makes it easier on her.  I hope that they med her to where she has no idea what is going on and that she passes into the arms of God easily, sweetly, as lightly and softly as a feather.  We have lost so much.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CactusGal on January 22, 2008, 10:41:16 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi80.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj179%2FCactusGal%2FJanPaintedW.jpg&hash=fa7a56c15ec09f46df93c906605180b7)
Right from the start, Jackie has been the unofficial, one-person welcoming club to the Forum.  I suspect a lot of members would not have stuck around if it wasn’t for her encouragement, support and love.  When Jackie talks to you, she has the knack of making you feel you are the most important person to her.  Life hasn’t always been easy for her, but typical Jackie, her focus was on you – not on her.   

As a lot of you, I, too, met Jackie for the first time at the Texas BBQ although we had talked on the phone some before that.  The first day I was there, she and I volunteered to pick up Connie from the airport.  I no longer remember if we were just early or Connie’s plane was late, but we ended up with quite a long wait at the airport which gave us the opportunity to get to know one another.  We found that we had some similarity in our lives, were of similar ages and that bonded us immediately.  From then on, we talked regularly on the phone and we always felt that we had a connection.

I think in the Forum, Jackie found her home and for that I am very glad for her.  It has given her the opportunity to show her love and to receive that love and devotion back. This thread is the tribute she deserves and would be so proud of it – I only wish she could enjoy it.      Jan
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 22, 2008, 10:43:57 AM

Heartbreakingly beautiful posts, ladies, and said with so much love and incredible tenderness.

Merci.  :-*  :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 22, 2008, 10:48:23 AM
Jan, my plane was late  ;) and am glad for that now!!

i had another spine nerve block today and had to check out if it worked well, so i went to the beach afterwards.
i haven`t been taken any pics lately(due to  several reasons) but today i took my cam with me and have been strawling at the beach and sitting at a dune top, thinking of all the sweet memories i have with jackie
for you sweetie  :-*

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv627%2Fsifra%2Ffotos%2Fhondenensunset046.jpg&hash=9b62ac9688b55f7f884fafe4759c8220)

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Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: DeTina on January 22, 2008, 10:49:14 AM
When Jackie first discovered I was local--living in her area--she called me so fast! I remember our first conversation--I had to pinch myself I was so happy to hear from her. We got together a couple of times with our other local Brokies and had a really good time. Her hugs were like getting temporarily lifted from the planet and planted in a warm soft cloud. We went on with our own busy lives and I haven't seen her in a long time, but I always knew she was there for me--another local lovely Brokie. So I was so sad when I read today that she is gravely ill. My thoughts and prayers are with her wonderful family, of which she spoke so lovingly, and dear friends.
DeTina
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dahlia on January 22, 2008, 10:51:25 AM
We are a family aren't we? You said it all for me. I can't find any words now. Hugs, and love, to all of you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 22, 2008, 10:52:37 AM
Oh Jackie. How special a friend you have been to me and to all us.

I met Jackie in Chicago and was lucky enough to spend a special day bonding with her, Maggie and Terry. I learned that day what a rare and wonderful person was among us. She shared her story and her growth and her fears and opened up her heart to strangers. I will never forget the moving moment when she presented Maggie with a special book of poetry that she had inscribed and picked out just for her. We all cried. We watched the BBM trailer on the hotel TV and cried more.

Jackie invited me to her home and made me feel welcome. She kept in touch way better than I. We exchanged phone calls and shared so much. We watched BBM in Bay City holding hands and crying and moving on together. I will treasure all those moments.

I love you Jackie. More than words can possibly say.

Jenny






(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FNYC%2520Gathering%2FNYCGathering031.jpg&hash=0c83961d0b4ab6c81401f7a571449c99)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CactusGal on January 22, 2008, 11:04:39 AM
Jan, my plane was late  ;) and am glad for that now!!

Conny - It's funny how some things need perspective to be appreciated.  You are right, I'm glad your plane was late -- I'm not sure I would have had the opportunity to talk so long with Jackie just by ourselves otherwise   - as I'm sure you remember, Linda's place was already a zoo by the time you arrived and one-on-one conversations hard to come by.

Also, Jackie and I had fun waiting to meet you and trying to spot you - and it was an enjoyable ride back to Linda's -- getting to know each other.  I still remember with the fondness the next day that you and I and John spent together shopping.   These are moments in time that we can cherish. 

Jackie would be please that this thread is bringing back friends who haven't talked in a while.  Take care my friend and keep in touch.   Hugs!   Jan
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: garyd on January 22, 2008, 11:06:07 AM
I have not been fortunate enough to meet Jackie in person
but, of course like so many others here, feel that she is a friend
due to her gregarious on-line personality combined with a sense of
absolute sincerity, grace, and largess. 
Her "welcome to the greatest place on earth" always gives me a  smile and
a sense of warmth and sincere acceptance.

At a time when the world needs all the Jackie's we can find,
it is all the more difficult to say goodbye and god's speed.


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brokebacktom on January 22, 2008, 11:07:49 AM
I just found out. My heart is very sad. She was the warmest person I have ever met. I'm at work right now, a new job. Its sad she and Nellie were the reason in taking this New job. I hated my other one. Jackie always told me to do things that would make me happy. So, I did.

The new job is walking distance from my Condo, so I am saving a lot in gas money. It does pay less, but the stress level is far less than the other job. It does allow me to come on this site to communicate with others and post more. More Free time.

Love, Tom

PS. you will always have a special place in my heart.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 22, 2008, 11:19:13 AM
Jackie would be please that this thread is bringing back friends who haven't talked in a while. 

So very true.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bubo on January 22, 2008, 11:29:54 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi147.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr308%2FNewport_Beach_Girl%2FPeople%2FMale%2FChet_Baker_001h.jpg&hash=293b67d85d7eaf5d643b333bc4ea6d78)


After I posted a few pictures in Fan Fair of the jazz trumpeter Chet Baker a while back, Jackie excitedly wrote me a PM saying how she loved him and even had the original print of Chet and his friend Lily, signed by the photographer, hanging in her home.

We exchanged a few PMs after that, her envious of me having seen Bruce Weber's documentary on Baker, and me terribly jealous of her owning the signed original photograph. :) :-*


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi147.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr308%2FNewport_Beach_Girl%2FHolidays%2FFlowers%2FRoses%2F011.gif&hash=b93dc169f41024f2c214ab6903c33a29)



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 22, 2008, 11:35:56 AM
She was one of the most crucial people who made this place "best place in the world". Words fail me today, in any given language.

I may have been one of the last forum members to speak with her. I called her last Saturday, mere three days ago. She knew who I was but was very tired and she found it hard to focus. She said "hello, sweetie", like she always did and now, every time i close my eyes and listen I can hear her saying just that. We didn't talk long, maybe two minutes but my last words for her were "we love you" and as always she said: "I love you, sweetie".

janie g said recently in "How forum has affected me" that "The wisdom here taught me never to let an opportunity go by, never to leave things until later because sometimes November doesn't come ..." Sometimes it doesn't and it pains me that she never got to see Oxford. Yet, somehow I do believe that she'll be there.

Knowing Jackie is a gift, a miracle, a joy. We all were born (or created, if you will) out of the dust from the dawn of time and to startdust we all shall become when our time comes. And then we'll share eternity.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers,
Shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting,
the distressful tears of farewell,
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.


Rabindranath Tagore

Good night, sweetie. See you on the flip side.



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 22, 2008, 11:40:29 AM
Bubo,

Your post reminded me of the time Jackie posted this picture to the Queer as Folk thread.  She was a fan and had gone to some event where the cast were signing autographs.  I recall that she was thrilled to not only get a picture with Gale Harold, star of QaF, but that she "actually got to place her hand on his shoulder!!"   ;D   She had such an infectious enthusiasm for a huge range of interests, and relished each to the fullest!

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sunponyranch.com%2Fimages%2Fplaystuff%2FJackie+and+Gale+Harrold.jpg&hash=606feda2f8e9db31a81f874b6c141165)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 22, 2008, 11:41:56 AM
I just read the news and am at work, so can't post exactly what I want to.

But - I had the great fortune of meeting Jackie and spending some time with her in Colorado.

I vividly remember the very moment we first met in person. It was at Estes Park. She had just arrived and was being greeted by others. At some point, the room parted and we saw eachother. There was instant recognition, moving towards eachother with open arms - and a long, warm hug.

It is a moment I will treasure even more, now.

Dan
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 22, 2008, 11:46:29 AM


Conny - It's funny how some things need perspective to be appreciated.  You are right, I'm glad your plane was late -- I'm not sure I would have had the opportunity to talk so long with Jackie just by ourselves otherwise   - as I'm sure you remember, Linda's place was already a zoo by the time you arrived and one-on-one conversations hard to come by.

Also, Jackie and I had fun waiting to meet you and trying to spot you - and it was an enjoyable ride back to Linda's -- getting to know each other.  I still remember with the fondness the next day that you and I and John spent together shopping.   These are moments in time that we can cherish. 

Jackie would be please that this thread is bringing back friends who haven't talked in a while.  Take care my friend and keep in touch.   Hugs!   Jan


oh yes brings back the best of memories  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: graylockV on January 22, 2008, 12:05:58 PM
Jackie - an instrument of God's peace..............

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.




Till we meet again.

greylocke
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 12:12:04 PM
In July 2006, whilst travelling and on my way to the Texas BBQ my first port of call was Washington to spend a few days with Jackie. She had already welcomed me into her heart (after checking with BBMBLISS that I was not as bigger lush and party animal as my forum persona projected), and then into her home....

We spent 4 days touring Maryland and DC, and had a great time...

One evening we went to Fritz for supper...

Here is Jackie surrounded by, 3 men, Fritz, Earl and their lodger Tommy...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.snapfish.com%2F232323232%257Ffp358%253Enu%253D3277%253E%253B%253A2%253E767%253EWSNRCG%253D3233%253A8%253C886345nu0mrj&hash=de43319a254847ad44d1540deb6bddc1) 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 12:13:47 PM
Jackie Fritz and Earl, with the wonderful Orangey at her feet...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.snapfish.com%2F232323232%257Ffp357%253Enu%253D3277%253E%253B%253A2%253E767%253EWSNRCG%253D3233%253A8%253C87%253A%253C97nu0mrj&hash=05b1e05d5bec9166da1198cc90e9c821)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desperadum on January 22, 2008, 12:14:02 PM
Your post reminded me of the time Jackie posted this picture to the Queer as Folk thread.  She was a fan and had gone to some event where the cast were signing autographs.  I recall that she was thrilled to not only get a picture with Gale Harold, star of QaF, but that she "actually got to place her hand on his shoulder!!" 
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sunponyranch.com%2Fimages%2Fplaystuff%2FJackie+and+Gale+Harrold.jpg&hash=606feda2f8e9db31a81f874b6c141165)

Thanks for posting that - Jackie used it as her avatar during the early months of the Forum, until after the Texas BBQ.

I'm sure she would be overwhelmed by all of these beautiful and heartfelt tributes - those who deserve them the most usually are.

Jari how wonderful you got to speak to each other over the weekend.

She is and will ever be all-loving, all-embracing.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mountain boy on January 22, 2008, 12:14:40 PM
We love you Jackie!  I'm so glad you are part of our lives.     :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 12:16:54 PM
Jackie took me to an old presidents house (Sorry forget which one) - Whilst we were waiting in the queue to get in, one of the tour guides was stating that one of the keys or something inside was a replica as the original was currently being shown elsewhere...

Jackie, all indignant, spoke up, and objected, as she had a friend who had come all the way from London to see this...

What a sweetheart...

We had a great day despite the missing key, and here is Jackie sitting out the back of the house watching me walk down the slope to look at some gardens and the river...   


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.snapfish.com%2F232323232%257Ffp347%253Enu%253D3277%253E%253B%253A2%253E767%253EWSNRCG%253D3233%253A8%253C87%253A%253C%253A9nu0mrj&hash=5d66daf304560914bcc9733b6f29cce4)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 22, 2008, 12:20:04 PM
I don't know what to say other than that this is so sad sad and horribly unfair and shocking

Thanks Nellie and others for updates and tellings of when you recently met/spoke with her.
Thankyou all for beautiful posts and lovely pictures of Jackie and other things. I've searched for my Texas BBQ-cd:s but they are too safely packed (I'm probably going to move relatively soon) and I'm too shocked and tired to think straight now.

Why why why? I don't understand.

...and it doesn't make things easier knowing Jackie goes through the merciless illness that caused my birthmother's passing.
...I don't mean to bring anybody down but I'm so upset - reading through this thread is like she has already passed....like a vigil.

I'll try and pull myself together and share some bright thoughts as well.
Jackie of course was  part of the warm welcoming experience I got coming new to this forum.
She has quickly become a friend who I can talk openly with, joke and cry with.

I remember one particular beautiful thing she told me at the Texas BBQ (and then posted), when everyone was watching BBM and she sat right behind me:
She said that it was an amazing experience to actually feel for a moment that she watched the film as through my eyes and perception...
Such a beautiful and Jackie kind of thing to say!!  :'( :-*

We have giggled about hot moviestars....
... and no one can say RATS! with such a big smile on her face...

It turned out she was among the handful of friends that I dared to confide my long kept secret and she definitely influenced me to eventually post about it a few months ago.

I can't belive this is happening

I can't, I won't.

Well, I won't!

That was so Jackie to have for an avatar signature.

...I was among those who got to webcam-chat with her from London, and I am so so grateful for that. I also talked to her on the phone a few days prior to that.

Thankyou big sister for everything.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: KittyHawk on January 22, 2008, 12:25:45 PM
An earlier mention of the music Jackie loved reminded me of some music we exchanged. She sent me two CDs with some powerful choral pieces taken from films along with a couple of pieces from Officium by The Hilliard Ensemble. I can't remember what I sent her.

Those selections make me think she might like this beautiful Ave Maria  (http://www.stdominics.org/music/recordings.asp) that our mutual friend, Jonathan, told me about. It's free to download and it might bring a little comfort to others, as well.

- Lydia

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 22, 2008, 12:26:49 PM
Thankyou Wayne for telling us lovely stories from your trips together, please tell us more if you can.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 12:29:16 PM
The night before I left for Skyline Parkway, Jackie gave me the priviledge of taking her out for dinner to her favourite and local Italian Restaurant....

Here we are both sated, post food...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.snapfish.com%2F232323232%257Ffp355%253Enu%253D3277%253E%253B%253A2%253E767%253EWSNRCG%253D3233%253A8%253C886326nu0mrj&hash=03ccb75318eaa68072f34e317e4382e8)

I do not think I have posted this before, for vanity reasons, but now there seems no reason not to...

Other highlights of this trip were

1) Having a great time at The Awakening

2) Laughing our heads off like nutters about the fact that we call it a shopping trolley and Jackie called it a shopping cart... All the other shoppers thought we were mad!!!!!!!

3) Cleaning her patio windows for her, as her mobility would not allow...

4) Jackie shifting through all my bathroom and hair products, with a wry smile on her face...

And


5) Watching BBM together - I did not want to do it, but Jackie insisted, and I am so glad we did now... After the film had finished, we sat on the balcony for a couple of hours talking about life, love, and all other important matters...  I will keep this memory forever...







I am so glad also that I spoke to Jackie a week ago today... She was in the hospital and in pain, and the nurse was moving her around when I called... She asked the nurse to come back later as this call was from London... I laughed and said I would call her back in 5 minutes...

It was so wonderful to speak to her... She sent her love to all, and I told her that Nellie was sending us regular updates, and that we were all supporting each other.. She was so grateful and said it meant everything to her...

We only spoke for a few minutes and at the end of the conversation after I told her that I loved her, she finished off with her Jackie quip...

I love you more...

These will likely be the last words I hear her speak, and it encapsulates the entire selfless essence of her person...

Well Jackie we all love you as much as you love us...

Wayne
XXXXX     
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 12:31:38 PM
Thankyou Wayne for telling us lovely stories from your trips together, please tell us more if you can.


And wonderful post V... All of our stories tell of the same great person...

And I know she thought the world of you and your bravery... She told me so on several occasions... I told her on MSN that you were coming to London in December, and her face beamed, and she said... 'That is so wonderful honey'

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bubo on January 22, 2008, 12:32:21 PM
it was the cutie wrangler who she readily acccepted help from, with quite the big smile on her face!
She gave him a "thank you" hug, and her smile got even bigger!

Eric and I became part of your "harem"

she was thrilled to not only get a picture with Gale Harold, star of QaF, but that she
"actually got to place her hand on his shoulder!!"

I love all of these -- Jackie sure appreciated the men! :D ;) :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Oregondoggie on January 22, 2008, 12:33:24 PM

Jackie,

Your heart is bigger than Noah's Ark.
Room for all of us, two by two, OR NOT.
Ride out this storm, Gal!

With huge affection,

Larry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CANSTANDIT on January 22, 2008, 12:43:36 PM
I think I'm still a bit in shock over this news....

All I can say at this time is, Jackie is one of those extraordinary people you meet a few times at the most in your life. I pray for a miracle.

Love ya Jackie,
 Jo
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 22, 2008, 12:44:46 PM


I love you Jackie. More than words can possibly say.

Jenny

Jenny, our Jackie would be so delighted to see you back here. Even though she cannot be with us right now, her energy and spirit continues to be a driving force in our lives.

I am having a very hard time writing anything. I find myself staring at the computer screen, images of Jackie and memories of some of our intense discussions careening around my brain. I can barely write a coherent thought.

Jackie, you are so loved and cherished!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: peanut on January 22, 2008, 12:51:10 PM
I am very sad today about Jackie, but I keep thinking she would want us to celebrate her life and not
be so sad.  That is hard.

I know that right now there are angels in her room.

K
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 01:02:19 PM
This Forum allowed, encouraged, maybe even FORCED a lot of us to look at ourselves through the mirror of a film, and the friendships we made here are what keep this place ALIVE....with feeling, with laughter, with not a few tears and no little anger, but ALIVE.


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: teresa on January 22, 2008, 01:02:43 PM
i have been sitting here reading all these wonderful posts about jackie with tears streaming down my face. i had just found out fairly  recently that she was ill, had no idea tho that she was so ill she wouldn't recover from it until now.
i met jackie in bay city last year. she was wonderful and so warm and welcoming. and then this past oct in dc she took off from work to spend the weekend with us and drove us all over, including back and forth to the airport. she always gave so much of herself to everyone.
i am not sure what else to say. i am still in shock that it is only a matter of time now. it happened so fast. i know she was planning to go to england in june and was so looking forward to it but i know she will still be there in spirit with all the other brokies as she always will be at any furure gatherings.
i am still praying so much tho for there to be a miracle or a remission or something and that she will be able to be with us in person again.
jackie, please know i am thinking about you and praying.
love,
teresa
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Penthesilea on January 22, 2008, 01:08:42 PM
Dear Jackie,
You are one of the most cordial and warmhearted persons I ever met. I don't have words right now. But you are in my thoughts and prayers. We'll meet again, wherever this will be.

Till next time...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: janiceinla on January 22, 2008, 01:19:10 PM
Dearest Jackie,

Since the moment I heard the news about you, my mind has been a million places.  To the first hug you gave me when we finally met in person at Estes Park and that last hug before I left the hotel to return home.  No goodbyes; just see you again.  I think about us, in Beckla’s car, heading up the mountain to the visitor’s center, singing along with the tape she had made.  Time spent strolling through the open market in Estes Park on our last day there.  Time spent visiting and talking and you making sure I was okay when I’d gotten myself so upset over something that I shouldn’t have been upset over.  Too many wonderful thoughts to list right now.

You always made everyone on the forum feel so welcome, especially in the Diner.  It was always so easy for you.  You, just being you:  warm and loving, straightforward and honest, kind and compassionate. 

You always seemed to be there when others were in need.  Always thinking of others.  I wish I had the ability to make this right and make things better for you.  If prayers and the love of your friends and family were all it took to make you better, you’d be healthy again in no time.  Sadly, it doesn’t always work that way. 

I wish I could say these words to you in person.  I wish you and I could be sitting, laughing at the country house with our friends as we were in the dream I shared with you.  Though there are miles between us, I know in my heart that you know how much you are loved not only by me, but by so many of the friends we have made here.  This gives me strength because while my heart is breaking with this sad news, it is also soaring with the warm memories I have of you.  Nothing can take those away from me and I will always be grateful that in addition to developing a friendship here on the forum, I was blessed to be able to meet you.

Sister mine, you have my love and will always be in my heart. 

Janice
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lolita on January 22, 2008, 01:19:44 PM
I just cannot stop crying. I never knew Jackie in person but I feel like I knew her despite never receiving one of her famous hugs, we used to converse regularly with PM's and her gorgeous feedback.

The most amazing lady with the biggest heart and from the pics, a smile that would light up the room. Bless you Jackie. The most special of people.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 22, 2008, 01:27:44 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi80.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj170%2Fdsqsing%2FseptemberogSlashandNativity038.jpg&hash=3c84327a1e8a4075df21258ae16b7b1b)

Chicago Slash Bash - Jackie with Di and Trish.

Jackie presented me with a well-loved "Golden Treasury" of poetry in Chicago. It is a gift I will treasure always.


Jackie, my "Forum Mama" - I used to call her that in the first 8 or 9 months of our developing friendship. It was meant as a compliment because she really was like a mom to me in some ways. I can remember a few times when I asked for her advice and counsel, and she did not hesitate to tell me EXACTLY what she thought - sometimes, what she said was not always what I WANTED to hear, but what I NEEDED to hear. When Jackie felt a person was walking down the wrong path, she would let that person know, in no uncertain terms. And, like my mom, she was always right!  :)

As we became closer, she said she really didn't like the "Mama" moniker, so we became "sisters" instead, just as she was a sister to so many of us.

Big Love to you, my dearest Jackie, "Sister Mine"....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 22, 2008, 01:28:09 PM
From Estes Park, where so many of us met Jackie again, or for the first time.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sunponyranch.com%2Fimages%2FGroup-All+from+THImaging+800.JPG&hash=3015b3bb59cfab1f2261e1f511aabe8c)
(Jackie's in the second row, about 1/3 the way in from the right)

High Res Version of this Pic (http://www.sunponyranch.com/images/Group-All from THImaging.JPG)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jenny on January 22, 2008, 01:28:32 PM
I am so grateful that I went to the DC slash bash in October and got to meet Jackie.  She radiated love and care for everyone.  She gave me the great pleasure of getting to put on Ennis's coat and hat, she took me under her wing when I was upset, and put all of us into her little black book, the one she kept so that if a member vanished with no word the forum would be able to reach out and learn what had happened.  Jackie cared about everyone here, whether she'd ever met them in person or not.  She preferred to see the best in people and encourage it.  She was a shining soul, as I told her at Thanksgiving.

She was part of what made the forum what it is--a living community of people who care about each other and believe that everyone deserves to live and love fully and openly.  She knew that BBM started many transformations, and that one of them was our willingness to open ourselves to each other and share our pain and joy.  She will live in our hearts and minds.

May you travel peacefully and find a sweet life and unceasing miracles of love at journey's end, Jackie.  We know, because you did, that it could be just like that, always.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 01:32:30 PM
Oh Jackie. How special a friend you have been to me and to all us.

I met Jackie in Chicago and was lucky enough to spend a special day bonding with her, Maggie and Terry. I learned that day what a rare and wonderful person was among us. She shared her story and her growth and her fears and opened up her heart to strangers. I will never forget the moving moment when she presented Maggie with a special book of poetry that she had inscribed and picked out just for her. We all cried. We watched the BBM trailer on the hotel TV and cried more.

Jackie invited me to her home and made me feel welcome. She kept in touch way better than I. We exchanged phone calls and shared so much. We watched BBM in Bay City holding hands and crying and moving on together. I will treasure all those moments.

I love you Jackie. More than words can possibly say.

Jenny

Jenny, how wonderful to see you darling... What a blast we had with Jackie in New York...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 22, 2008, 01:33:06 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sunponyranch.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2C+DaveC+from+Lydia.jpg&hash=ea067237d99260f99912ee7c3149ebcf)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 22, 2008, 01:54:09 PM
Because I wanted to feel her with us, I went randomly into the oldest diner thread and just looked at a few pages where Jackie had posted.  It really doesn't matter where you look, her posts are all beautiful.  I wasn't involved in any of these conversations, but her comments made me smile.  So typical Jackie - you can feel the warmth and the love....

Very true, Auntie.  It is wonderful to have friends who are concerned for our well-being.

Fritz, I'm glad your work day has been easy so far.  I've decided to just stay inside today, rest, and avoid the 3 H's.  Isn't this stuff supposed to wait til Aug and Sept?

Jari, this whole "eye" stuff dredges up a memory from long ago (in forum time)!  How is YOUR eye doing since the problems you had with it, what 2 months ago?  Has it completely healed?

Hi Louise.  I remember reading about the drive yesterday.  Would you like a glass of iced tea to help you cool down?

Sal, in the hottest part of summer, they usually roll around every afternoon.  Then we have a sauna effect, cause they seldom do much cooling.  (Thank you, gods of air conditioning.)  Do you have A/C, Sal?

Hi Zed, sounds as if the two of you had a great time.   And to top it off, you have a nice, clean apartment!  I have been known to invite friends over for the sheer purpose of forcing myself to clean up my place.  Otherwise, I tend to be a bit, shall we say, "casual".  (The effect of living alone, I guess.)   

Hi Nick.  Good to see you, sweetie.

I am going to leave for a little while.  Think I will take a nap.  Hope you all have a wonderful day.  I'll be back later.


(((((((((((((((((((((((( Jackie )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 22, 2008, 01:59:47 PM
This Forum allowed, encouraged, maybe even FORCED a lot of us to look at ourselves through the mirror of a film, and the friendships we made here are what keep this place ALIVE....with feeling, with laughter, with not a few tears and no little anger, but ALIVE.



This just shows that Jackie will always be with us.  Who else would have posted such thoughtful and wise words!!  Lets keep this forum alive, just as she asked,....with feeling, with laughter, with not a few tears and no little anger, but ALIVE!


Sal        ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cynical21 on January 22, 2008, 02:05:10 PM
A PRAYER

When I am dying, let me know
That I loved the blowing snow
Although it stung like whips;
That I loved all lovely things
And I tried to take their stings
With gay, unembittered lips;
That I loved with all my strength,
To my soul's full depth and length,
Careless if my heart must break,
That I sang as children sing
Fitting tunes to everything,
Loving life for its own sake.

Dear Jackie, though we never met, this is how I think of you - filled with the passion and the joy of life.  Sara Teasdale must surely have been thinking of someone like you when she wrote these lines.

Bless you.

CYN
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: WintersGrass on January 22, 2008, 02:08:12 PM
I didn't know Jackie that well until I meet her in DC last year.
I was amazed by her loving, giving personality. The morning after the bash, when everybody was leaving I was so very sad, there was her sitting with Bethie in the hotel lobby. They comforted me (I was so emotionally exhausted after this amazing weekend) and Jackie told me that it's no goodbye, only till next time.

How I wish...


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 22, 2008, 02:29:40 PM





Eternal peace.....and happiness, Jackie     :-*

God speed....




Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 22, 2008, 02:36:54 PM
Dear friends,

I've decided to share this e-mail with all of you here,this is the latest update from Jackie's daughter.

> Dear friends,
> Today we moved Mom to hospice at Stella Maris. She took a serious turn for the worse yesterday, she is in liver failure. There is no treatment for liver failure. We chose, based on her previously stated wishes, to stop care and move her here to hospice where there are no monitors, machines, needles, or catheters. She is right now in her room and resting comfortably, thanks to the efforts of my friend Dan who helped us get into this wonderful place.
> I believe everything worked out for the best. The chemotherapy treatment that she would have undergone had serious and debilitating side effects, and wasn't even expected to work very well. The chances of her improving with chemotherapy enough to surgically remove the tumor were distant at best, and now she doesn't have to go through all that.
> The liver failure causes her to be not mentally with it. She recognizes me and my brother, Mark, but generally speaks random nonsense. As much as I know her friends would love to call her, she really won't know who you are. She is comfortable, they are doing a great job of providing pain control. Two of her sisters are coming here Wednesday.
> I am so-so. I'm staying pretty strong right now, because it makes me feel better. The kids were pretty sad when I told them last night. They got to see her at Christmas when she was alert and fairly well, so they will have a good final memory of her. My au pair has been a lifesaver, as far as taking care of the kids so I could be with my mom and Bruce could still work. And my boss and colleagues at my job have gone above and beyond to cover my shifts, and I can't thank them enough.
> The big question now is: When? And the answer is: nobody can say. It could be tonight, it could be a few days, it could be a few weeks. My best guess as a doctor is a few to several days.
> I'm sorry to be so impersonal through email, but this allows me to get all the information to a large number of people. Feel free to forward this to others you think would be interested.
> Please do not call. I don't have the mental energy required for conversation at this point. I will check my email frequently and try to respond the best I can.

> FORUM FRIENDS: Please direct all questions and concerns to Nelly.  I'll let her be the spokesperson, as Mom requested.
> Mom did not want a funeral, and she wanted to be cremated. Although there will be no religious or graveside services, my brother and I plan to have some kind of gathering shortly after where we can all get together and eat and drink, laugh and cry, and celebrate my mother's life. I will keep you updated on that.
>

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

to everyone,

Nellie

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Ministering angel on January 22, 2008, 02:37:26 PM
See those perturbations in the sky over the Pacific? That's my love, winging its way as fast as it can to you, Jackie. You were one of the first, you will always be one of the best.

XXXX

Marian
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 22, 2008, 02:42:11 PM
Now that I am at home, I wanted to post what Jackie wrote to me after meeting at the BBQ:

" My Dear Dan,

Til now you were a name. Now I see a friend. The Magic that is Brokeback continues to allow us to change and grow. I will always be grateful for that and for knowing you. Bless you always. 

Jackie "


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 22, 2008, 02:53:59 PM
Jenny, how wonderful to see you darling... What a blast we had with Jackie in New York...

Wayne Honey!!!

Just think, I never would have met you if it wasn't for Jackie. I'm sorry it took such an occasion to mark my return, but I love you guys and I love Jackie and I need to be here.

Me receiving a famous Jackie hug:

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi103.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm121%2FMEEOOOWWW%2FNYCGathering015.jpg&hash=9bf91d08113095cc13b327c45f52f178)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 22, 2008, 02:56:29 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi103.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm121%2FMEEOOOWWW%2FJackie2.jpg&hash=0f5d0a0eee06ecfe9cf8e396b7629b15)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 22, 2008, 03:03:41 PM
Hey y'all,

Zed authorized me to send y'all this picture of the three of us (taken by Earl) sitting around the table in the living room.

Enjoy!

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC07068.jpg&hash=f77d3f613e806a0690fe4455d1debc41)


Hugs!


I found this and had to share......((hugs))

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 22, 2008, 03:12:05 PM
Just now, I find myself filled with conflicting, odd, unfitting emotions I can't make out. None of them seem exactly to be what others are expressing. jenny called me just a little while ago to let me know the news. Coming here and seeing everyone drawn together, I feel almost pulled apart, seeing and reading about memories I didn't share and now will never be able to. I poured over my memories of Jackie, starting in October of 2006 and stretching to the last time I saw her, October of 2007, Slash Bash to Slash Bash, with several wonderful pit-stops in between, and I'm blessed enough that I feel like they're too numerous to count and I know Many people didn't get the chance to meet her even once. I know.

She and I made plans to see a movie and go out to dinner and a theater and restaurant we both liked whenever I returned to Maryland and had time. It never happened. But luckily plenty of other dinners and movies did.

Thinking over my memories of Jackie, though, one stands out, maybe because it's recent, maybe because it's strange, or maybe because it makes me laugh. As long as I live, I will remember her along side of memories of myself, dontwanttosaygb, and chriscd45 dismantling Jackie's DVD player in a hotel room at four in the morning with bbmiswear's nail file, well, until dontwanttosaygb managed to harangue a multi-tool of some sort from the incomepetent hotel staff, so we could dismantle Jackie's DVD player more efficiently.

The next day, ignoring Jackie's protests, we (many thanks to stilllearning and chriscd45 for their journey into Mordor with me!) went on a long and arduous hunt for a new DVD player for her. I remember lying on the floor of Best Buy thinking, "I don't care what anyone says, I'm not going to give up until Jackie gets to go home with a working DVD player." Luckily everyone agreed and, though it took multiple stores and multiple hours, we were ultimately successful. My real regret is that she got to enjoy so few DVDs on it.

In my cell phone, right now, I have two phone numbers for Jackie. What am I supposed to do with them? Do I just delete them? This whole situation is so utterly new to me. Right now I feel so...  young. My first instinct when I heard was to call my mother, but what's she going to do? She didn't know Jackie.

Some of you may know that Jackie carried words of mine in her purse at all times. Talk about flattery! She didn't like it when I was negative about myself, always threatening to bring them out, to remind me of how other people see me, maybe, I don't know. But I do know that I wish I could give her some new words. Jackie made every edge a curve, the hard places soft and the cold places warm by filling our hurts until they overflowed to brighten the world around us as well. I fear darkness as she moves on to the white, silent snow-without-cold, need-without-hunger. It's as if she may possibly take all the softness and brightness there is in the world with her, and I hold my breath and wait to see what will become of those of us left behind. She is fine; she is passing into a good place, I really do believe, and I smile to think that she will like it there and that she deserves such a place more than most. I mourn for us, though. I don't know how anyone could possibly fill her shoes-- painted so as to leave rainbows everywhere they went.

Miracles do happen. Jackie is one such miracle. I suppose as long as we remember that, there's brightness still in the world.

Oh, what a long post. Sorry.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 22, 2008, 03:28:01 PM
Hello friends,

I am going to E-Mail Jackie's daughter in a few minutes....I will let you know first thing of any news I hear...

(((HUGS)))

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jules on January 22, 2008, 03:28:39 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi76.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj18%2FJuliathecat%2Fbbq184.jpg&hash=08ea9f0efb5dbc7707dc68fe358bf4bc)

When I met Jackie in Texas I immediately felt at ease with her. We were sitting on Linda's (Killersmom) wooden porch, and we began to talk as if we were good friends meeting again after just a few days. I felt like I've known her all my life. Going to Texas was a big step for me, and she knew that. One of my (oh so many!) concerns was the language: I'm Italian, and I knew that nobody would understand me if I didn't speak a good English. This made me feel extremely nervous. I know this may sound very silly, but the first words I remember of Jackie are "Can you say that again, honey?"  ;) She said that with the sweetest tone of voice. She didn't understand what I said, but she had known how to make me repeat it without getting me freaked out  :)

She used to say that she wanted to come and visit me in Rome. "One day", she used to say. I'm sitting here in my kitchen with a glass of red wine, thinking of her and how much she means to all of us.

It's like you were here, in Rome, with me. I love you, sister mine.

Catia
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 03:31:13 PM
Hey y'all,

Zed authorized me to send y'all this picture of the three of us (taken by Earl) sitting around the table in the living room.

Enjoy!

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC07068.jpg&hash=f77d3f613e806a0690fe4455d1debc41)


Hugs!


I found this and had to share......((hugs))



Nells, thanks for posting this... I think this was in the days when I was scared to have my photo on the forum... Its great to see me sitting there with lovely Jackie (What was that T shirt all about???)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 03:32:01 PM
Great post Catia, and she was there with us in Rome... Remember when we called her from the cafe...

She was so there with us...  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: alma on January 22, 2008, 03:32:19 PM
Oh my god! I had no idea. This is too much grief in one day. Jackie was *the* forum goddess - the presiding spirit of gentleness, kindness and hospitality.

What an awful day - to hear of Heath and then Jackie.

I'm speechless.

Life is short and fragile.

Hug someone you love.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 22, 2008, 03:34:09 PM
I am completely crushed ... I had no idea . . .
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: teresa on January 22, 2008, 03:34:42 PM
i don't know how to post this and not sure if you all have heard the news about heath. it looks like he will be there to greet jackie in heaven.
can this day get any worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am so sorry to tell everyone this if you haven't heard already.
teresa
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 22, 2008, 03:44:34 PM
Jackie will have the hondsomest of escorts waiting for him at the Pearly gates.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jules on January 22, 2008, 03:45:35 PM
Great post Catia, and she was there with us in Rome... Remember when we called her from the cafe...

She was so there with us...  :-*

Oh yes...I remember she told me "Honey, you made it, I'm so proud of you"...

:-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Poohbunn on January 22, 2008, 03:49:00 PM
I want to add my voice to those who praise Jackie for her spirit and caring.
Debi
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 22, 2008, 03:49:52 PM
Jackie will have the hondsomest of escorts waiting for him at the Pearly gates.

I was just wondering what she'd say when she saw him there... what she'd ask!  But yes.. and knowing how much she loved movies, I'm sure all her favorite actors will be welcoming her home!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 22, 2008, 03:50:03 PM
Jackie will have the hondsomest of escorts waiting for him at the Pearly gates.
Yes she will, Jari. She will be smiling
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: pwday on January 22, 2008, 03:54:16 PM
Jackie was the first person to welcome me to this board, and I will forever be grateful for her kind and gentle spirit.

...sending up a prayer of thanks....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 22, 2008, 03:55:50 PM
Thank all of you for all of your kind memories of Jackie.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 22, 2008, 03:59:28 PM
not sure how to link posts from another thread... but wanted to share what I wrote on heath's news page about Jackie since I'm finding out about both today...

so just as i hit "post" to send my comments about heath, I noticed the news thread about Jackie... I haven't been on in a long time and I feel horrible that I am finding out now about my beloved BBM mentor. She was the first to welcome me here... The first person I met at a showing of the movie in Virginia. She made sure I was always included in things and even brought back little trinkets from the many gatherings she attended. I know BBM an this forum and those she met and loved changed her life and I was in awe of her ability to let it. Her tag line from the movie "well I won't" speaks volumes to me in what this entire experience meant to her.

I'm shocked, saddened, and hope she knows that while I may not have been online, I was always thinking of her...  always thinking of all of you...   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 22, 2008, 03:59:46 PM
I wanted to make you guys laugh...so I am posting an early post right before our get together to Texas...

Would you believe I woke up this morning with a Zit on my upper lip?  Jeez, the nerves!  It hurts like hell, too.  I hope a hot water wash cloth will fix it.

Bwahahaha....oh Jackie,mi hermana..... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 22, 2008, 04:00:46 PM
Nellie, that's the first time I've smiled in an hour.

Thanks.  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: estefue on January 22, 2008, 04:05:07 PM
It was an honor and a pleasure to meet such a  warm and caring person.  She will be missed.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 22, 2008, 04:06:04 PM
Wonderful Nellie... Amazing post...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: spaino on January 22, 2008, 04:10:29 PM
I feel kind of a fraud posting here after being away so long (I have from time to time lurked and read, but not posted for many months) but I hope all of you who met, knew and loved Jackie manage to work though your grieving and cherish the memories you have of her. I enjoyed our online exchanges and her many insights into both the movie we cherish and life in general.

(Am off to the 'Farewell to Heath' thread now. Although it was that news which brought me here tonight when I read of Jackie's passing I had to post here first. What a night of numbing revelations.)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: maturben on January 22, 2008, 04:11:29 PM
may the love from all who knew Jackie provide the light for her soul's travel

I am one of many who had the privilge to actually spend time with her in San Antonio and Estes Park-----her smile, laughter and concern for others will be with me always

bob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 22, 2008, 04:16:26 PM
Last spring Jackie and I, just the two of us, went for a little trip from the DC area up to the Brandywine River Museum in Chadds Ford PA, to see the permanent exhibition of paintings by the Wyeth family. It was a wonderful trip, we loved seeing the paintings, we sent many of you postcards, Jackie was afraid she was talking my ear off, but it was simply good to hear her voice. We talked about many things important and un. We crossed the Sassafras River in Maryland, and Jackie took a picture of the sign for one of the Forum members. We went by an old abandoned pre-Civil War house where a friend of mine used to live, and she took some beautiful sepia-and-white pictures that made it look haunted. We ate at the museum, and on the way home, stopped at a place on the Eastern Shore of Maryland and had some delicious crab soup and Reuben sandwiches for dinner. It was wonderful to share a day with her, and we were making plans to do something similar this spring, to go to the Delaware Art Museum to see its collection of pre-Raphaelite paintings.

 :'(  :'(  :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: littledarlin on January 22, 2008, 04:18:17 PM
I'm in shock.  How can all this be happening?   

Jackie in Chicago, our "mystery/surprise guest".  I saw her at dinner, I thought I recognized her but didn't know she was the "surprise".  I walked over and intoduced myself as "Little Darlin" she said "I thought so, I have something for you".  I was floored, how could this woman who I'd never spoken with or had contact with before have something for me??? 

She came closer and gave me the BIGGEST Hug I've ever had in my life and whispered, "That's from Bobby".  OMG, did I start bawling, Bobby19in1963, my good friend on the forum had sent that precious gift for me with her.  I fell immediately in love with her, her sweet smile and awesome personality.  It was such a short visit we didn't get to know each other well.  Then surprise #2 came around Christmas, with a beautiful card from my "Brokeback Mountain Friend", Jackie. 

I love her for many things, being so thoughtful and loving, taking care of my sweet Melissa, so many things she did for everyone else.  She is truly one of a kind.

You'll always be in my heart and so many, many others and we will miss you dearly.   You and Heath take care of each other ok???

love,
Karla
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Redbrit on January 22, 2008, 04:26:25 PM
Jackie is my big sister. I know this because we agreed it some time ago. Although I haven't posted much on the forum recently, I have been in regular contact with Jackie since I saw the film and especially since meeting her at the Brokeback Barbecue. At times when I was low while I was finishing my degree, she was always there to give me moral support - and boy did it make a difference! I'm not sure I would even have passed without the support I got from her and Jari. We shared our interests in music, we chatted, we joked. She put more fun and warmth into my life. She never came up short. None of this is real to me yet. I've been finding myself short of words, which really isn't me.

I'm going to a still place now to think of Jackie and Heath.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BRAD1963 on January 22, 2008, 04:32:04 PM
 :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gb-dc on January 22, 2008, 04:41:05 PM
I met Jackie a while back at a Washington, DC get together. I, being the nervous type around strangers, was welcomed to the fold by her with open arms. We talked for hours that night, though the time seemed to pass in an instant.

I grabbed my copy of "Beyond Brokeback" when I heard the news this afternoon, thumbing through the pages to find her entry.


"I can't live in misery for fear of what the future may hold, not anymore.---I feel a lightness of heart that I have not felt in forever."


What a fortunate woman to have found some peace of mind in this crazy world; what a fortunate person I am to have had the pleasure of knowing her.

You'll be missed Jackie. Sweet dreams.

Joe (goaboydc)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 22, 2008, 04:46:53 PM
I still cant believe this...  As with so many others, Jackie was the first person who welcomed me to the site and when a bunch of us from the DC metro area decided to meet to see the movie a few years ago, She was the first person I saw and felt instantly at ease since it was the very first time I ever got together with anyone I met over the internet. I lost my mother in 2000 when I was 24 and since then have been wandering and floundering at times and well, I felt Jackie was my BBM mother figure. Which was very much needed after the sucker-punch BBM landed on me! Getting to know her and seeing her at other gatherings made them complete. I LOVED her energy and awareness of the change BBM and the forum made on her life. I LOVED how she didn't fight it despite what anyone may have thought. Her BBM tag line, "well I won't!"  always spoke volumes to me about her own journey through this life and how BBM and finding the forum guided her... I think you'll agree, despite not knowing her before BBM, she seemed to have an incredible new lease on life!   

I haven't been on the forum for a while and I've found myself at times wondering why... Did I really just move on? Did "real life" really get in the way? How could it? I'm unemployed! I do miss the initial fervor from 2 years ago... the whirlwind we all found ourselves on thanks to the brilliant movie and Dave creating this site. I'm always grateful for that, but sometimes I guess I need a break from all of the things BBM and the forum (as an entire experience) bring up... The unconditional love, loss, fear, hopeful words of truth, listeners, friends, family and of course FUN and connection.  I've always struggled with what the entire experience has meant for me... for my life from Ennis & Jack's relationship, and the feelings the movie conjured up to needing more and needing to connect to finally finding the site and then sharing all that is BBM with kindred spirits. It wasn't just a fluke right? But sometimes it all just leaves me confused ya know? I'm not sure what changes this all made in my life, but yet, I know I was changed...   Anyway, Jackie IS STILL a huge part of this whole experience... more than I even realized. (like any daughter with their mother) And she always will be.

Jackie always thought of me-- even had some BBM cd's created especially for me by another member b/c she instinctively knew I'd want them (like my mom)  and the last time I saw her she gave me a BBM "love is a force of nature" wrist band... It's on my nightstand.

Jackie, for a brief moment on earth, our hearts beat in time... I am ever grateful!   

Love,
~Sharyn

To Jackie with Love... 

Go to sleep, may your sweet dreams come true
Just lay back in my arms for one more night
I've this crazy old notion that calls me sometimes
Saying this one's the love of your life.

Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old.

When you wake up the world may have changed
But trust in me, I'll never falter or fail
Just the smile in your eyes, it can light up the night,
And your laughter's like wind in my sails.


Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old. 

Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old.  
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 22, 2008, 04:54:36 PM
Jackie and I held hands the entire time while watching the movie at the U of Maryland. When Jack said "Well I won't", we both gave each other a tight squeeze with our hands, and smiled.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 22, 2008, 05:20:23 PM
fritz, joe, all...

my love to you....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 22, 2008, 05:22:01 PM
And to you too ((((((((((((((((Sharyn)))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: shakestheground on January 22, 2008, 05:36:59 PM
We  have never met, but I wish you well, wish you peace, wish you closure and reunion.
We all deserve peace. We all need rest. A cool drink.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Passion on January 22, 2008, 05:59:27 PM
There are so many old friends coming back to the forum because of the news of Heath's death.  Many of these people would not have heard about Jackie's illness because they have not been on the forum for so long.  I know that they will all join us now in sending our love to Jackie and her family.  I am sorry that something bad has brought us all back together but I am comforted to know that everyone still really cares about the people on this forum.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 22, 2008, 06:04:53 PM
I am without words when I think of Jackie. Perhaps the words will come later. One of the most amazing woman I have had the privlege of knowing. Even though she may not know me now, I wish I could be at her side, holding her hand, stroking her hair, kissing her cheek.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: catalina on January 22, 2008, 06:16:26 PM
Oh wow, I'm in shock.

The news about Heath made me sad.  This news about Jackie made me cry.  Even though I never met her in person, our interactions, and everything I saw and heard and knew of her, always had me awed by her kindness and generosity of spirit.   It's really saying something when someone's beautiful spirit comes over on the internet, and hers did, and then some.  I will miss her - everyone will miss her - so much.

Cathalin
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 22, 2008, 06:54:20 PM
I've just received an email from former member Rick (AHappyMan).

He asked that I post here and say that he's keeping Jackie in his thoughts.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: quithammerin on January 22, 2008, 06:54:21 PM
I've been away, couldn't believe what I was reading.  All I can say is...what a shock, this is awful. 

Do folks know about this candle-lighting website?  Sometimes I go there when I feel I need to "do" something but can't think of the right thing:   

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

If someone names a group (they take 5 letters) for Jackie, and we all use the same 5 letters (case sensitive) then we can get a group......just thinkin' out loud....

what a day
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: babysany on January 22, 2008, 06:59:05 PM
i, too, havent posted in months and the news of heath's death brought me back to the refuge this place used to be for me.  and i learn about jackie.  i met her in bay city when she came to meet me at the airport with john.  she made me feel right at home.  such a sweet person.  my prayers are with jackies friends and family.

annie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 22, 2008, 07:00:07 PM
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

Thanks, I just  lit a candle.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Chriscd45 on January 22, 2008, 07:00:08 PM
Oh Jackie.

You know how much I love you and all your friends do. Spending that time with you in the airport was precious and I wish you and your family the best in this time.

I love you and you are such a gentle soul, such a sweetheart. You listened to my complaining, my deepest secrets and made me feel at ease. You light up a room and you just are a incredible person.

Jackie is such a wonderful person. A beautiful soul.

With love,

Chris
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: quithammerin on January 22, 2008, 07:04:01 PM
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

Thanks, I just  lit a candle.

Did you put in a group name?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 22, 2008, 07:17:30 PM
Dear Jackie.  You know how I feel about you.  Oh, you know, sweet thing.  From the git-go of this forum, you were here.  To how many members, my friend, were you 'the first person to welcome' or 'the first person to pm' me?  Your 'net', babe, is so very large.

Our first face to face meeting, how fun that was.  The 'Gallery' will always be our place.  I now walk past the fountain, outside my City Hall, and see you walking toward me, with that great smile on that great face.  I look at my pics from the wonderful BBQ Linda graciously hosted for us, and see the pic I have of you, with Corona in hand.  And I grin.

And in the latter months, with big changes in my life, you continued to provide wise counsel, telling me I can give permission to myself to care for another, that it was the best thing one could do.

No matter what the coming days bring to you, sweet Jackie, you will be with me for a long, long time.  As I know you will with many of those here.

terry

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FJackieMe-2-1.jpg&hash=5e6241ed204bb2fa009b451dd2de1cc2)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 22, 2008, 07:18:26 PM
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

Thanks, I just  lit a candle.

Did you put in a group name?

I lit one too, thank you for the link..
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 22, 2008, 07:21:00 PM
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

Thanks, I just  lit a candle.

Did you put in a group name?

bbm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: whiplash on January 22, 2008, 07:28:37 PM
What a great idea, I added one to the BBM group too.  And one for Heath.

I can't help but think of how Jackie would be in the Heath thread, comforting and helping everyone deal with the news.  I miss her so much already...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 22, 2008, 07:29:34 PM
What a great idea, I added one to the BBM group too.  And one for Heath.

I can't help but think of how Jackie would be in the Heath thread, comforting and helping everyone deal with the news.  I miss her so much already...
ditto.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Dave Cullen on January 22, 2008, 07:34:04 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sunponyranch.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2C+DaveC+from+Lydia.jpg&hash=ea067237d99260f99912ee7c3149ebcf)

ouch. but thanks.

it's kinda hard to look at.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: appleone on January 22, 2008, 07:36:36 PM
Jackie,

You bring pure joy.  Much love to you.  May you find peace.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gres on January 22, 2008, 07:37:38 PM
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng

Thanks, I just  lit a candle.

Did you put in a group name?

I lit one too, thank you for the link..
Me, too for our beloved Jackie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Thunder88 on January 22, 2008, 07:41:56 PM
I just lit a candle for Heath and Jackie, put them both together.

This is a great idea and thank you for starting this.

Terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: davideo321 on January 22, 2008, 07:42:45 PM
Again, what everyone said. What a sad day. Candles lit.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: adamblast on January 22, 2008, 07:48:30 PM
Alot of old-timers are showing up tonight, and I'm sure there'll be more. 

I remember you, paintedshoes, and love you. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 22, 2008, 07:52:56 PM
It is so good to see all of you here who have not been in a while.
It is not a good reason on any front, but so very glad to see all of you.

I know Jackie is smiling so big to see all of you here.

Linda/Auntie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 22, 2008, 07:54:27 PM
Although many of us do not come here often anymore, this shows that we are a community.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 22, 2008, 07:54:27 PM
Amen to that, Linda.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caroline on January 22, 2008, 07:55:27 PM
Auntie,Linda,

SO sad to come here under this type of circumstance, so good to see so many "old timer" names people who have returned. How it all draws people together..
all the best
caroline

have you seen Lynn???
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: PatSinnott on January 22, 2008, 07:59:11 PM
Jackie was a class act. 

I met her at Aunties BBQ, and gave her a little hostess gift as she was one of the people who coordinated the event.

To my utter surprise, she wrote a thank you note to my home, thanking me for the small token of my gratitude for her hard work.  I still have it in my top desk drawer. 

She had such a huge heart, and never thought twice about sharing it.


                                                          Sometimes (by Henry Mancini)
Sometimes
Not often enough

We reflect upon the good things.

And those thoughts always center around those we love.

And I think about those people
Who mean so much to me

And for so many years have made me
So very happy.

And I count the times I have forgotten to say

Thank you.

And just how much
I love them.


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: johnbeene on January 22, 2008, 08:20:36 PM
I remember when I was trying to get everyone squared away at the airport in Denver and Jackie called.  I said "Painted Shoes"!  And the one thing I felt was relief (I felt the same way when I talked to Linda).  As a committee member you kinda feel some pressure to do what you can to see that everyone is getting as much as possible out of the experience.  I knew that as long as Jackie was there everyone was gonna get some love.

I just haven't known too many people in my life who give as much of themselves as willingly as Jackie.  Wow.  People like Jackie make cynics like me stand back and reassess.

Jackie thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for this forum and for all of these people.  May you find comfort in the vast love of your family and friends.

I'll be thinking of you and sending all the good feelings my sad heart can muster your way.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 22, 2008, 08:24:09 PM
I woke up at 1:30 last  night, thought it was a bad dream.  Went to the bathroom and it hit me, I wasn't dreaming.  I never did get back to sleep.

Crazy insane day at work and then came home to news of Heath, it is just too much!

But my thoughts are first and foremost with Jackie tonight.  :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 22, 2008, 08:38:09 PM
Now they're both not here anymore. They're there, over in the light. Together. Somehow in the midst of all grief and questions why there is some kind of comfort in that thought.

Rest in peace dear sweet Jaclyn.
Candles for you and Heath.



Did Jackie pass????
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: DontwanttosayGB on January 22, 2008, 08:45:38 PM

Thinking over my memories of Jackie, though, one stands out, maybe because it's recent, maybe because it's strange, or maybe because it makes me laugh. As long as I live, I will remember her along side of memories of myself, dontwanttosaygb, and chriscd45 dismantling Jackie's DVD player in a hotel room at four in the morning with bbmiswear's nail file, well, until dontwanttosaygb managed to harangue a multi-tool of some sort from the incomepetent hotel staff, so we could dismantle Jackie's DVD player more efficiently.

The next day, ignoring Jackie's protests, we (many thanks to stilllearning and chriscd45 for their journey into Mordor with me!) went on a long and arduous hunt for a new DVD player for her. I remember lying on the floor of Best Buy thinking, "I don't care what anyone says, I'm not going to give up until Jackie gets to go home with a working DVD player." Luckily everyone agreed and, though it took multiple stores and multiple hours, we were ultimately successful. My real regret is that she got to enjoy so few DVDs on it.


Sorry to requote this but it did bring a large smile to my face with the memories of it and also the next day with all of Jackie's protesting about the new DVD...I remember we Christened it the BBM DVD and she said she would be the one to bring the DVD to the next local gathering...well I guess that won't be happening, but I know she will find that "sweet life" in the hereafter and forever find the blessing that BBM brought to her in abundance.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: downloaded1 on January 22, 2008, 08:49:21 PM
...what a tragic day....

goodbye Jackie
goodbye Heath

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: DCLuke on January 22, 2008, 08:52:49 PM
I have not visited the Forum in many months and logged on today after learning the sad news about Heath's passing.  I was even more shocked to learn that Jackie passed away today as well.  I worked with Jackie during the DVD project and she was a wonderful upbeat and reliable colleague.  She made major contributions to the success of the DVD project and I was so grateful to have her as a member of the team.

Jackie, thank you for all that you did to spread the message of love, acceptance, and goodwill.  You helped to make society a better place for all of us.  I will miss you. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desperadum on January 22, 2008, 08:56:37 PM
Just to be clear, Jackie is gravely ill and in hospice care.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 22, 2008, 08:58:14 PM
Auntie,Linda,

SO sad to come here under this type of circumstance, so good to see so many "old timer" names people who have returned. How it all draws people together..
all the best
caroline

have you seen Lynn???

Carolyn :-*
No I have not seen Lynn at all.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 22, 2008, 09:02:36 PM
Jackie was a class act. 

I met her at Aunties BBQ, and gave her a little hostess gift as she was one of the people who coordinated the event.

To my utter surprise, she wrote a thank you note to my home, thanking me for the small token of my gratitude for her hard work.  I still have it in my top desk drawer. 

She had such a huge heart, and never thought twice about sharing it.


                                                          Sometimes (by Henry Mancini)
Sometimes
Not often enough

We reflect upon the good things.

And those thought always center around those we love.

And I think about those people
Who mean so much to me

Who for so many years have made me
So very happy.

And I count the times I have forgotten to say

Thank you.

And just how much
I love them.




Karen Carpenter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT1ptfnX3nY
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: john john on January 22, 2008, 09:09:03 PM
Dearest Jackie, I will be missing your comforting and loving words.

Much love

JJ
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 22, 2008, 09:20:26 PM
Just to be clear, Jackie is gravely ill and in hospice care.

Thankyou Des. I just woke up from overseas and by reading the forum info box and some posts here I thought the worst had happened since I last came on here late last night. The last thing I want is to create confusion.

We still have Jackie with us. Thanks.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lil peter in AZ on January 22, 2008, 09:24:50 PM
Been awhile for me here, but I'll always remember Jackie sending me a birthday cake back in December, 2005 :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: garyd on January 22, 2008, 09:46:14 PM
Good lord, I haven't seen some of these names since I first stumbled upon the place back in the Fall of 2005 and all of us were jabbering away about the short story and anticipating the film.  Pages would fill up and poor Dave would have do some sort of tech thing to allow us to continue. 
I have been around for some jolting changes in my time but all of this almost takes one's breath away. 
I have never "met" anyone who posts here but I feel so very comfortable and "connected" 
Odd, I suppose but, then again, maybe not.

I have already said all I know to say about dear Jackie, so...
"Hey old friend,
What do you say old friend,
Shouldn't old friends come through?
Most friends fade
or they don't make the grade
New ones are quickly made
And in a pinch sure they'll do.
But us, old friend,
What's to discuss old friend,
Here's to us, old friend,
Who's like us?
....Damn few."


with apologies to another "old friend"
Gary

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jnov on January 22, 2008, 09:57:51 PM
i never met jackie but did converse with her as paintedshoes.

my wishes for her and her family are to have peace in the future, in whatever dimension or place that future may be.

love and peace to them and to us all.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caroline on January 22, 2008, 10:01:59 PM
OMG, GaryD


My Lord but it is a shock to see some of the old names come back. OMG How I have missed your wonderful stories that you wrote. Have you become an author (with God's help).. you should have.. you were always So good with your incredible stories that you came up with. I remember so many of us telling you that you should get into at least a short story deal because of your ability to weave images that we could all see.
my regards to you friend, so sorry that we are gathering around such a profound story such as Jackie (Painted Shoes)'s illness, but maybe prayers lifted up to Heaven on behalf of one who is fighting for her life. It has got to have an effect one way or another.

so good to see you...
 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 22, 2008, 10:08:23 PM
I just heard from a former member, who even tho he can't personally express his thoughts, wanted to be here for Jackie.

Brad sends his care and love for her.  Tonight he was recalling the weekend when Nick and Rob, Heidi, Carol and Linda visited his and Steve's home, the 'little sliice of heaven' as it came to be known to everyone who saw the pics of the place.  Jackie's sister lived nearby - Brad knew that, so he gave her a call and she got to join the group.  He mentioned the fun they had and especially how Jackie was a such a gracious person.  Just one of the many stories that could be shared.

He recalled times they talked on the phone and the laughs shared at the BBQ, and he sends her his love and good wishes.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jim.grrr on January 22, 2008, 10:11:30 PM
I arrived in San Francisco early this morning.  It was cold and rainy and depressing.  I heard the bad news about Jackie for the first time from Michael.  I had never met Jackie in RL, but have exchanged many warm PMs with her.  She is a very special person to all of us.

Coming down the hill on the 22-Fillmore bus, I looked toward the Bay.  There was a little sliver of sunshine breaking through the clouds, creating a huge rainbow over the Bay.  It was for Jackie.

Jim
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 22, 2008, 10:17:04 PM

Just wanted to say hi to Terry. Hey there- good to see you . . . its cool to see everyone again . . . .Jackie would be so happy to see everyone together again as well  . . .
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 22, 2008, 10:23:01 PM
Hi Nick...nice seeing you in here too.  You're right, Jackie would like this very much.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Flyboy on January 22, 2008, 10:30:47 PM
Terry, thanks for the note from Brad, and yours as well. Jackie is special to so many members here, I met her on my 1st day here, and we began to PM regularly. I know how I valued her words in the time I've been here, I can only imagine how this is affecting Brad and you, and the many other long time members.........
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 22, 2008, 10:32:23 PM
I've been in and out of here all day, needing to connect with the Forum family, wanting to express how I'm feeling, but really not able to put it into words. It's like I'm floating in and out of a bad dream.

Thanks to everyone here for sharing about Jackie. She is so loved, I hope she can feel all that love.

I'm still praying for a miracle.

Goodnight everyone.

Trish
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caroline on January 22, 2008, 10:38:30 PM
trish,

I am sure that Jackie is feeling this love that is coming to her from the forum.

good night to you and everyone as well... may tomorrow be a better day...

take care
caroline
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 22, 2008, 10:39:10 PM
I just heard from a former member, who even tho he can't personally express his thoughts, wanted to be here for Jackie.

Brad sends his care and love for her.  Tonight he was recalling the weekend when Nick and Rob, Heidi, Carol and Linda visited his and Steve's home, the 'little sliice of heaven' as it came to be known to everyone who saw the pics of the place.  Jackie's sister lived nearby - Brad knew that, so he gave her a call and she got to join the group.  He mentioned the fun they had and especially how Jackie was a such a gracious person.  Just one of the many stories that could be shared.

He recalled times they talked on the phone and the laughs shared at the BBQ, and he sends her his love and good wishes.

terry
Thank you, Terry, for letting Brad know...

It's been a bad bunch of days. Today utterly terrible.

Jackie... We'll all always be here for you... Shine on, Big Sis. You are loved.

Rob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 22, 2008, 10:53:33 PM
Would be nice if Brad and some of the other early forum members close to Jackie were able to at least visit the sight to add their well wishes and read about Jackie and Heath.  I'm sure it would be appreciated ........ not sure how that could be done since some have been blocked from accessing the forum. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 22, 2008, 10:57:38 PM
We've already re-activated a couple of members. If you know of someone specifically that needs to get in, PM me or one of the mods and we'll see what we can do.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 22, 2008, 11:02:08 PM
I just heard from a former member, who even tho he can't personally express his thoughts, wanted to be here for Jackie.

Brad sends his care and love for her.  Tonight he was recalling the weekend when Nick and Rob, Heidi, Carol and Linda visited his and Steve's home, the 'little sliice of heaven' as it came to be known to everyone who saw the pics of the place.  Jackie's sister lived nearby - Brad knew that, so he gave her a call and she got to join the group.  He mentioned the fun they had and especially how Jackie was a such a gracious person.  Just one of the many stories that could be shared.

He recalled times they talked on the phone and the laughs shared at the BBQ, and he sends her his love and good wishes.

terry
good to hear of brad.  i wondered how he might be taking news of jackie, and especially of heath.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Dave Cullen on January 22, 2008, 11:08:22 PM
Just to be clear, Jackie is gravely ill and in hospice care.

Thankyou Des. I just woke up from overseas and by reading the forum info box and some posts here I thought the worst had happened since I last came on here late last night. The last thing I want is to create confusion.

No, I'm afraid I caused the confusion. Sorry about that. I did all the newbox changes today. I wondered about that one, whether it was implying more than I wanted to, and I brushed it off. I need to listen to those voices.

I had to get out of the apt, away from the tv and the web, so I went to the gym for an hour, and it was one of the last things I did before I left. I had several reports of confusion when I got back, so I changed it. Hopefully it's OK now. Let us know if it's not.

Thanks.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brian on January 22, 2008, 11:17:33 PM
Yes that is much better Dave. It was worrying me. And now so beautifully expressed. I have not met either Heath or Jackie but feel I know Jackie so much better, famous to us indeed.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gnash on January 23, 2008, 01:01:29 AM

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftaxine.com%2Ffullerspicer%2Fjp_texasbbq_upwards.jpg&hash=23b0f3b954c9c1859a2f3d8179ab1fae)

(((((((((((((((((( jackie )))))))))))))))))))

i remember fondly when we met in texas before the BBQ
helping prepare with planning and making it come together
laughing and sharing and crying as we all realized we each had
something in common because of the BBM story/movie. OUR movie.
my sincere thoughts and prayers to you -- and your family and friends.


at command central, the kitchen table, aug 9th, 2006
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lyle (Mooska) on January 23, 2008, 01:04:56 AM
Jackie, I met you at that same table!
So warm and welcoming, my luggage had been
lost and you made me forget about that.  Your
inspiration and kind thoughts and gestures
have been much appreciated and I say a
prayer for you tonight!
Lyle
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dahlia on January 23, 2008, 01:38:26 AM
I PMd Jackie for the 1st time back in September 07...she was a little depressed then, and I was in a bad time too....so I felt the need to get in touch with her.
She gave a lot of courage and hope, and was one of the people that made me start my 'second' forum life. I've been here for a long time but posted very little till that time. I was even thinking the forum experience was done for me.

She was one of those who gave me this feeling of being in a family, encouraged me to think about going to Oxford, and to have more 'personal' relationships with people here.

Always so warm and lovely, dear ((((((Jackie)))))) sister! I was very much counting on meeting you in Oxford, sweetheart!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 23, 2008, 02:18:46 AM
Although many of us do not come here often anymore, this shows that we are a community.

Amen to this Dan.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 02:23:56 AM
Although many of us do not come here often anymore, this shows that we are a community.

Amen to this Dan.

Great comments...

And this is one of the things that Jackie dearly loved about the forum... It helped her to have confidence in herself...

And as she said ALIVE

Still thinking lots about you this morning Jackie...  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 23, 2008, 02:45:31 AM
Because I wanted to feel her with us, I went randomly into the oldest diner thread and just looked at a few pages where Jackie had posted.  It really doesn't matter where you look, her posts are all beautiful.  I wasn't involved in any of these conversations, but her comments made me smile.  So typical Jackie - you can feel the warmth and the love....

Very true, Auntie.  It is wonderful to have friends who are concerned for our well-being.

Fritz, I'm glad your work day has been easy so far.  I've decided to just stay inside today, rest, and avoid the 3 H's.  Isn't this stuff supposed to wait til Aug and Sept?

Jari, this whole "eye" stuff dredges up a memory from long ago (in forum time)!  How is YOUR eye doing since the problems you had with it, what 2 months ago?  Has it completely healed?

Hi Louise.  I remember reading about the drive yesterday.  Would you like a glass of iced tea to help you cool down?

Sal, in the hottest part of summer, they usually roll around every afternoon.  Then we have a sauna effect, cause they seldom do much cooling.  (Thank you, gods of air conditioning.)  Do you have A/C, Sal?

Hi Zed, sounds as if the two of you had a great time.   And to top it off, you have a nice, clean apartment!  I have been known to invite friends over for the sheer purpose of forcing myself to clean up my place.  Otherwise, I tend to be a bit, shall we say, "casual".  (The effect of living alone, I guess.)   

Hi Nick.  Good to see you, sweetie.

I am going to leave for a little while.  Think I will take a nap.  Hope you all have a wonderful day.  I'll be back later.


(((((((((((((((((((((((( Jackie )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Damn! This how is always saw Jackie too!

But not helpful to my mood today.

Good grief, what a week.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 23, 2008, 02:49:41 AM
Jackie will have the hondsomest of escorts waiting for him at the Pearly gates.

I was just wondering what she'd say when she saw him there... what she'd ask!  But yes.. and knowing how much she loved movies, I'm sure all her favorite actors will be welcoming her home!

That scenario she would love.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 23, 2008, 02:52:47 AM
I am completely crushed ... I had no idea . . .

Nick, you were one of my first thoughts. I had no way of reaching you and being sure you got the news in an appropriate way.

But finding it here is as good as any I suppose.

Hugs (you may remember me as Nick_F)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 02:59:49 AM
Although many of us do not come here often anymore, this shows that we are a community.

Amen to this Dan.
good morning or good evening michael.  welcome home.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 03:05:12 AM
and same to you brother nickie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 23, 2008, 03:14:34 AM
People who used to be part of the great heartbeat of this place, coming back under these awful circumstances, the worst of all ironies.



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: AWT on January 23, 2008, 03:17:28 AM
((((((((((   Jackie   )))))))))))

You helped to pull me through the darkest times of my life.. I pray that there's a miracle on its way to you in your time of need.

Andy
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:18:05 AM

Just wanted to say hi to Terry. Hey there- good to see you . . . its cool to see everyone again . . . .Jackie would be so happy to see everyone together again as well  . . .

That's what she wanted.....that's all she said the last time I talked to her....she wanted us to have each other and to talk..and now it's happening...I can't believe it!  Jackie got her wish... :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 03:19:12 AM
welcome back, andy.  good to see you again.  i hope life has been treating you well.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 03:19:13 AM
{{{{{{{NELLIE}}}}}}}

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Ben Franklin on January 23, 2008, 03:23:07 AM
Meeting Jackie is one of the fondest and dearest memories I have from last year's BBM Barbeque at Estes Park. She was so generous and good to me. I am very shy with people, but she immediately went up to me, let me wear Ennis's jacket and hat, gave me a CD with the complete score and soundtrack of BBM, and encouraged me to take one of the cans of "Bettermost beans" with me, that stands now on my BBM "altar" at home. She is such a wonderful person. I was so looking forward to meet her again.

I never was a religious man, but right now my thoughts and prayers go to Jackie, her family and the ones who love her.

It's all so sad. Jackie - Heath...

I am so devastated.  Only comfort is, that we have each other here. Big hugs to all:

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((All)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Miaisland on January 23, 2008, 03:25:02 AM
That's what she wanted.....that's all she said the last time I talked to her....she wanted us to have each other and to talk..and now it's happening...I can't believe it!  Jackie got her wish... :'( :'( :'(

((((((((((((((((((Nellie)))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 03:30:13 AM
I never was a religious man, but right now my thoughts and prayers go to Jackie, her family and the ones who love her.

It's all so sad. Jackie - Heath...

I am so devastated.  Only comfort is, that we have each other here. Big hugs to all:

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((All)))))))))))))))))))))))))

I guess there are no atheists in trenches. or moments like this. Last week I found myself inside my church in prayer... first time in years.

Good to see you, Ben....  as you said, we have each other.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bradINblue on January 23, 2008, 03:49:02 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2Fjackieandus.jpg&hash=2b247a2d6cf4d83f099cc3360eb3d79c)

Always a grand entrance
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bradINblue on January 23, 2008, 03:50:11 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2FmysweetsisJackie1.jpg&hash=39ad98612b6e8b194a78f2acaeddc1fa)

Never without a smile
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 03:50:37 AM
BRAD!!!

You have me crying again!

Hi friend! I'm missing your sweet smile...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bradINblue on January 23, 2008, 03:51:06 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2Fjackie2.jpg&hash=84274c150a2cc9493f2a5ba2f74705ed)

Always with the best of friends
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bradINblue on January 23, 2008, 03:52:07 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2Fheres2yousweetJackie.jpg&hash=4b5151f3ddd86535c943365302cb99b3)

And no, "cheers to you, sweet Jackie"
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bbmbliss on January 23, 2008, 03:57:46 AM
Great pictures Brad, and wonderful memories. Thanks  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: MaineGirl on January 23, 2008, 03:58:18 AM
Thank you for those pictures, Brad. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 04:22:45 AM
Great to see you Brad.....and those wonderful piccies of Jackie!!

Sal      :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 23, 2008, 04:36:46 AM
^^^^^^^^^

What Sal said...!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jules on January 23, 2008, 04:44:57 AM
Oh my God, Brad...you're here too... :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 23, 2008, 05:19:20 AM
BRAD!!!

You have me crying again!

Hi friend! I'm missing your sweet smile...


me too!!
missing ya bud,glad your back  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CANSTANDIT on January 23, 2008, 05:49:13 AM
I don't see any new reports about Jackie, so I'm here just to add continued prayers and wishes for her and her family. what a week so far.....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 23, 2008, 06:11:05 AM
thanks for those beautiful photos brad - it is JUST the way we should remember jackie, each day of our life. even in her darkest hours, she would always have an open ear for people in need. just as she asked nellie, even in her last phonecall, to take care that we all stick together. like a good mother would do with her children....in some way, we are all her children.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Miaisland on January 23, 2008, 06:20:29 AM
My thoughts and prayers are with Jackie.

Hope and love!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Ennis Del Mark on January 23, 2008, 06:34:00 AM
Oh dear God, Jackie.  I didn't know until now.  I hope you got my Christmas greetings.  I had no idea you were sick.  You were so sweet to this painfully shy guy at the BBM weekend in Texas and I always appreciated it.  You and your family are in my prayers.

Dear God, what a double blow.

I want to cry but I just can't. 

Mark
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 23, 2008, 06:36:05 AM
There are not words to describe how I am feeling right now - this latest news of Jackie has knocked me back.  I was aware of her illness, but not the severity of late.  I am hoping to be able to collect my thoughts today - while trying to focus on work - and be able to say something more eloquent and appropriate to honor my dear friend.

I am bereft.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 06:39:38 AM
Brad, Heidi

Even though the reason for your return is such a sad one, it gives me great joy to see you around.

Jackie would be so happy.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 06:47:37 AM
Brad, Heidi

Even though the reason for your return is such a sad one, it gives me great joy to see you around.

Jackie would be so happy.

I'm glad to see them too, Jari.  and I'm thinking, in her sweet dreams, Jackie is happy at this.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jules on January 23, 2008, 06:48:24 AM
What Jari said.

It's good to see you  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brokebacktom on January 23, 2008, 06:53:21 AM
 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

What a tragic 24 hours. My heart can't take any more.

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 06:53:47 AM
Brad, Heidi

Even though the reason for your return is such a sad one, it gives me great joy to see you around.

Jackie would be so happy.

I'm glad to see them too, Jari.  and I'm thinking, in her sweet dreams, Jackie is happy at this.

terry

Good to see you too, buddy.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 07:02:15 AM
So wonderful, yet Ironic as Nick said, to be able and log on for a few minutes before work starts.
And there you all are once again - like going back in time.  Brad, Terry, Sal, Connie, Jari, Wayne, Catia, Nellie,
Nick, Rob, Nick in Idaho, Fritz, Jack, Martina, Sarah, Heidi, Carol, Tom, and so many others who have been gone for awhile (me especially included in the 'gone for awhile') but are all here now plus those who never left and the newer arrivals. 
Jackie would love this.  It is so good to see it happening even under these circumstances. 
And the pictures Brad, what memories.
Love and Hugs to all of you.  David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 23, 2008, 07:17:45 AM
So wonderful, yet Ironic as Nick said, to be able and log on for a few minutes before work starts.
And there you all are once again - like going back in time.  Brad, Terry, Sal, Connie, Jari, Wayne, Catia, Nellie,
Nick, Rob, Nick in Idaho, Fritz, Jack, Martina, Sarah, Heidi, Tom, and so many others who have been gone for awhile (me especially included in the 'gone for awhile') but are all here now plus those who never left and the newer arrivals. 
Jackie would love this.  It is so good to see it happening even under these circumstances. 
And the pictures Brad, what memories.
Love and Hugs to all of you.  David

Very good to see you David too.  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImEnnisShesJack on January 23, 2008, 07:21:08 AM
I am here too.
What a sad, sad day yesterday...finding out about Heath and then Jackie not long after.

*Hugs* to everyone. Jackie was such a bright, loving light to so many of us. I remember the laughter at Brad's, and smoking on the back porch with her and Heidi...   ::)

I've mised you all, and will keep you in my thoughts.

Carol
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 07:27:34 AM
I am here too.
What a sad, sad day yesterday...finding out about Heath and then Jackie not long after.

*Hugs* to everyone. Jackie was such a bright, loving light to so many of us. I remember the laughter at Brad's, and smoking on the back porch with her and Heidi...   ::)

I've mised you all, and will keep you in my thoughts.

Carol


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Carol))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 23, 2008, 07:32:41 AM
I am here too.
What a sad, sad day yesterday...finding out about Heath and then Jackie not long after.

*Hugs* to everyone. Jackie was such a bright, loving light to so many of us. I remember the laughter at Brad's, and smoking on the back porch with her and Heidi...   ::)

I've mised you all, and will keep you in my thoughts.

Carol


 :-* Sweetheart.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImEnnisShesJack on January 23, 2008, 07:33:15 AM
{{{{{{{{{{{{  Jari }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 07:37:40 AM
It's strange how I can feel such sadness and yet, seeing you all, old friends here, fills my heart with with such joy.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImEnnisShesJack on January 23, 2008, 07:41:20 AM
It's strange how I can feel such sadness and yet, seeing you all, old friends here, fills my heart with with such joy.



Jackie would want it that way. She would want us to smile and celebrate, so that's what I have to focus on.

And {{{{{{{  Nick and Rob and Brad and everyone  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 23, 2008, 07:52:41 AM
((((((((((((( Carol )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Heidi ))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 23, 2008, 07:57:31 AM
it's soooo good to see you all....(((((friends))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 08:02:46 AM
I sure feel like a newbie around many of you here.   

   . . .but I know jackie would say otherwise.   :)


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImEnnisShesJack on January 23, 2008, 08:04:31 AM
((((((((((((( Carol )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Heidi ))))))))))))))

((((((((  Tammy! )))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CactusGal on January 23, 2008, 08:08:13 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi80.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj179%2FCactusGal%2FShirtscopy.jpg&hash=6daecf0eba4b48e14a6a9b94cd7f4150)

I realize this is off topic, but I thought some of you might be interested in knowing that "Papa" Jack Weil, owner of Rockmount shirts died yesterday at 79 yrs.  He created the snap-front shirts that we all now know from Brokeback.   Sparky and I went to the store this past summer and met and talked to him for a while. He was an interesting character and well known here in the Denver area.  Jan
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 08:11:51 AM
It's strange how I can feel such sadness and yet, seeing you all, old friends here, fills my heart with with such joy.



So true here as well Jari.  And though I may not be around much, by no means have I forgotten all of you.
I have the BBQ memories - and more - and I will never forget.  I think of you all more than you know. 
With love and hugs to all.  David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 08:16:48 AM
David,

It is good to see you.

I think it was your picture of jackie at the Metro Station, showing her at her best.

Thanks
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 23, 2008, 08:19:03 AM
Hey there Jan - good to see you!

As well as everyone else back (way including myself) - - -

Just checking in for any updates.  I will be around from work today - just wanted to say good morning to everyone.

I didn't sleep well last night ... Jackie's bright smiling face in my mind.  Memories of the TX BBQ flooding my memory - some I will share later.

Jackie wrote a little something on the back of the DVD sleeve of my copy of the movie - I brought it to TX in hopes that she would. I'm thinking about sharing it ... ...

Anyway, everyone have a good day - - -

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 08:22:17 AM
You too, Nick.

I've been reading PM's I got from Jackie...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: isa on January 23, 2008, 08:28:20 AM
i am totally in panic!!!!
what happend to dearest jackie???
, i can't find it or get it :'(
don't undertand it :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 08:36:54 AM
Hi Isa...

The latest update is here... I am sorry

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1150016#msg1150016
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: wyomen on January 23, 2008, 08:38:14 AM
Jackie sent me a pm and this was the last line:

I really couldn't stand it to lose you or anyone else here.  We are family!

Love,
Jackie

I couldn't say it better!

You are in our prayers!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: isa on January 23, 2008, 08:43:15 AM
OMG
Jackie is incurable hill??, i got that right? what happend?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 08:44:55 AM
I sure feel like a newbie around many of you here.   

   . . .but I know jackie would say otherwise.   :)





A "newbie"?  YOU???
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 08:57:05 AM
Thinking of you all and keeping Jackie in my thoughts and prayers.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 09:04:21 AM
Thinking of you all and keeping Jackie in my thoughts and prayers.

Same here chuck.
   and david, I guess not, huh?   ;)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sagebrush Dan on January 23, 2008, 09:08:45 AM
How sad indeed.  I'll always remember the PMs she sent me, welcoming me to the boards.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mary on January 23, 2008, 09:22:27 AM
Jackie has been one of the loveliest parts of this forum and I will always treasure our hug following watching BBM in Linda's livingroom

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 23, 2008, 09:25:43 AM
Jackie sent me a pm and this was the last line:

I really couldn't stand it to lose you or anyone else here.  We are family!

Love,
Jackie

I couldn't say it better!

You are in our prayers!

{{Dana}}.  Nice to see you here.

Monica
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 09:27:13 AM
Thinking of you all and keeping Jackie in my thoughts and prayers.

Same here chuck.
   and david, I guess not, huh?   ;)


More like a forum fixture now Gerry..........
and a link to San Antonio and that wonderful BBQ
where so many of us met Jackie for the first time.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 09:30:22 AM

More like a forum fixture now Gerry..........

David:    Jackie would get such a bwahahahaha out of that one.......

   thanks for making me laugh....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 09:37:02 AM

More like a forum fixture now Gerry..........

David:    Jackie would get such a bwahahahaha out of that one.......

   thanks for making me laugh....

and meant from the fondest of memories.............
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 09:40:21 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FBay%2520City%2520Bash%2FBayCityTrip052.jpg&hash=9d1a5a3f2cf69168bdb4b96f6aeca2c6)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 09:43:56 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FDever%2520BBMBBQ%2FPaintedShoesCactusGal.jpg&hash=c6013ecdd0a4811155e22d703adb97b9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 09:44:39 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FDever%2520BBMBBQ%2FWandererPaintedShoesNeatFreakJay63.jpg&hash=49ebca7a72d2c7a2d2e6b50f69b10a81)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 09:58:21 AM
Brad- Its so great to see you, and what great photos you posted...

And to you Heidi and Carol... Thanks for coming in to cheer Jackie on... Its great to see you all...

And Chuck lovely photos... I never realised before how Jackie'e personality exudes from so many of all the pics....

She would be shy about this thread, because its about her, but also so sated with all the wonderful things people are saying about her... 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 09:58:59 AM
Good Morning Everyone,  not really so good is it.

I'm glad to be here, checking in and seeing all the love for Jackie, and Heath, just flowing like a river here.

I am still having such difficulty with all of this. My husband is being so supportive, taking over with my 4 year old as soon as he gets home from work, so I can just "be" with my sadness. He called me from his office yesterday when he heard about Heath and said "Babe, I'm so sorry." Really meant a lot to me that he gets it.

And my mom, a "brokie" herself, is grieving for all of us, as she understands what this place means, and she knows how much I love Jackie.

So, I have support right here with me, but all I really want is to get on a plane and get to a bunch of Forum members, to hug and be hugged, to wipe away some others' tears.
I feel so lonely.

I want to be able to thank Dave, in person for being here for all of us, and for creating this place, this sanctuary. I have not had the chance to meet you Dave, but, just....

Thank You.

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: WLAGuy on January 23, 2008, 10:02:22 AM
Since Jackie wants to be cremated, has anyone thought about asking Jackie's daughter if she'd be okay with us scattering part of Jackie's ashes on Brokenback Mountain? 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 23, 2008, 10:03:38 AM
Oh Chuck....I love that picture. I have another one of the four of us in our special hotel room.


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi103.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm121%2FMEEOOOWWW%2FJackie1.jpg&hash=2d107a09479ad66df03b7409797c861f)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gres on January 23, 2008, 10:07:01 AM
I'm really sad about all this. Our dearest Jackie.....this all is too much---i lit that candle for her last night,  to guide her kind heart.
 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 23, 2008, 10:08:41 AM
(((((((((Trish)))))))))

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 10:09:33 AM
(((((((((JENNY))))))))))))

Maybe we can chat sometime soon.....
 :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: aevkc on January 23, 2008, 10:16:31 AM
I haven't been on the forum in a long time, but wanted to come back to say how much I love Jackie and how sad I am to hear about her illness.  Even after I left the forum, we kept in touch regularly, chatting about our LOST obsession and just touching base.  I sent her a few emails recently and didn't receive a response, but figured she was busy with work or had gone out of town.  I just today heard the news.  I have to believe she can feel our love and good thoughts and that she knows what a wonderful difference she made in so many lives.  We love you, Jackie. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 10:17:39 AM
I haven't been on the forum in a long time, but wanted to come back to say how much I love Jackie and how sad I am to hear about her illness.  Even after I left the forum, we kept in touch regularly, chatting about our LOST obsession and just touching base.  I sent her a few emails recently and didn't receive a response, but figured she was busy with work or had gone out of town.  I just today heard the news.  I have to believe she can feel our love and good thoughts and that she knows what a wonderful difference she made in so many lives.  We love you, Jackie. 

Hey Amy,

Its lovely to see you back here... I remember you and Jackie discussing lost in the thread... I was lost!!!!! hehehe
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 10:18:14 AM
((((((((((AMY)))))))))))))

So, good to see you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: aevkc on January 23, 2008, 10:20:30 AM


Hey Amy,

Its lovely to see you back here... I remember you and Jackie discussing lost in the thread... I was lost!!!!! hehehe

Thanks, it feels good to be back, although I wish it were under happier circumstances. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 10:24:27 AM
I'm off to try to something constructive and clear my head.

Love to all,

Trish
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 10:26:00 AM


Hey Amy,

Its lovely to see you back here... I remember you and Jackie discussing lost in the thread... I was lost!!!!! hehehe

Thanks, it feels good to be back, although I wish it were under happier circumstances. 
Absolutely... But Jackie would love the fact that so many people are around...  :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 10:55:58 AM
Dear friends,

*sigh*.........I just came home real quick to have my lunch and there was a message from Joanne,Jackie's daughter........

.....what we were dreading to hear....our beautiful Jackie passed away this morning,peacefully.....

...I don't have words to say.....my mind is at a loss...I can't swallow this right now,I must get back to work

..all I CAN say is that Heath was there to hold her hand,her dream of meeting Heath,came true....and even though I know that Ennis and Jack were fictional...the only thing that is helping me understand Heath's death is to allow myself to think that it WAS true,it was real ,and he is with Jack in Heaven right now.......the 3 of them.....this is the ONLY way I'm dealing with this nightmare right now.....

Friends.....this hasn't been a good year for us,has it......23 days after the New Year and 2 tragedies....but please find comfort in all this...this is what Jackie wanted,for us to have each other thru good and bad.....please FORGIVE one another if you were pissed at each other....Jackie's hope was to have Brad back in this Forum...she always said that to me...she felt like it wasn't the same,and I agreed with her...and the others besides Brad.....

....Joanne told me she was VERY tempted to have a get together for US at Jackie's apartment....THIS SATURDAY...told me she was thinking about it....but to PLEASE not buy the plane tickets just yet.....I can't believe what I heard....I can't believe she would even think about us like that....maybe it was a request from Jackie instead of funeral services....just maybe...or maybe Joanne wanted to meet us, the people who made her dear mother so very happy...just maybe

Please keep all this in mind,friends...I'm going to try my hardest to get there....I was going to get plane tickets today to see Jackie,hold her hand....but now I can't.....but if I can be there among friends from here and celebrate her LIFE....than that will be ....

Love you all so much,

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 10:57:10 AM
I love you Jackie  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 10:59:18 AM
So, I have support right here with me, but all I really want is to get on a plane and get to a bunch of Forum members, to hug and be hugged, to wipe away some others' tears.
I feel so lonely.

Trish, I feel the same way. Maybe we should get together to toast Jackie's boundless love.

But it almost feels as if their should be a memorial, and I should be booking emergency plane tickets somewhere with money I haven't got. I'm not kidding, is there? It's very difficult to sit here alone surrounded by people who don't know Jackie with no real sense that I will get closure. It would be a get-together under the worst of possible circumstances, but we ARE a family, that's what families DO at times like this...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 23, 2008, 10:59:41 AM
Rest in peace, dearest Jackie.   I know we have a beautiful angel watching over us.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 11:03:18 AM
Rest in peace, sweetie.



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bubble Wrap on January 23, 2008, 11:03:31 AM
I've been away for too long. 

So much that I didn't know about here.  All I know is that whenever Jackie and I spoke, it was as friends and always so nice and fun.

My fondest thoughts.

 :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 23, 2008, 11:04:20 AM
Rest in Peace Sister of Mine
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 11:05:08 AM
Oh my God, Brad...you're here too... :-* :-* :-* :-*
really, where else could he be at a time like this.  glad you are here brad.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 11:05:34 AM
I've been away for too long. 

So much that I didn't know about here.  All I know is that whenever Jackie and I spoke, it was as friends and always so nice and fun.

My fondest thoughts.

 :-*
Hey Nic, she was fond of you as well...  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: atruant on January 23, 2008, 11:07:37 AM
God be with you, Jackie...

Your light-up-the-room smile will be with me forever.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 11:08:22 AM
There are not words to describe how I am feeling right now - this latest news of Jackie has knocked me back.  I was aware of her illness, but not the severity of late.  I am hoping to be able to collect my thoughts today - while trying to focus on work - and be able to say something more eloquent and appropriate to honor my dear friend.

I am bereft.
okay, now i am crying.  i was going to call you today to bring you up to date. 

i SPIT on anyone who dares to say this family isn't "real'.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 23, 2008, 11:08:26 AM
Jackie -- You will be missed, and yet you will always reside in our hearts.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 23, 2008, 11:08:35 AM


(((((((Jackie and Heath))))))))))

Dona eis Requiem.



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Dave Cullen on January 23, 2008, 11:08:36 AM
very sad news. yesterday drained me. nothing comes now. i'm out of words, can't do this justice. i guess i'll return when i have some.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gres on January 23, 2008, 11:08:49 AM
May angels accompany you at this trip.....rest in peace, dear Jackie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 11:09:51 AM
(((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))

I prayed this morning, for the first time in maybe six months. I prayed a prayer of thanks, thanks that I'd been given the opportunity to know Jackie, that she'd touched my life, and out of a crazy world with billions of people in it, somehow my soul found someone able to comfort it and make it feel at home-- Jackie. I think we were all really blessed to have met her, really priveleged to have known her even the short while we did. Never enough time, but the time we had was beautiful, it was sparkling and transcendant, it touched us all and bound us. I stand in awe, in both wonder and horror, of God's curious ways. But above all, I stand grateful, knowing I have been blessed by knowing Jackie.

Peace be with you all. I'm going to start making phone calls...

This may be an insensitive question, I know, and to myself most of all, haha, but I think it's important. Do we know that Melissa knows what's going on?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 11:10:14 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2Fheres2yousweetJackie.jpg&hash=4b5151f3ddd86535c943365302cb99b3)

And no, "cheers to you, sweet Jackie"

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  what is this?!?!?!?    BRAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now I can't stop crying..... :'( :'( :'( :'(...oh this is wonderful....you're here.....Jackie always wanted you back.... :'( :'( :'(

I have to get back to work...OMG.....this is sooo hard

((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 11:11:10 AM
I am here too.
What a sad, sad day yesterday...finding out about Heath and then Jackie not long after.

*Hugs* to everyone. Jackie was such a bright, loving light to so many of us. I remember the laughter at Brad's, and smoking on the back porch with her and Heidi...   ::)

I've mised you all, and will keep you in my thoughts.

Carol


 :-* Sweetheart.
what he said^^

it has been a long while since i have typed through coursing tears.  and i have to say it becauze i hardly believe it myself.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bubo on January 23, 2008, 11:11:24 AM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi147.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr308%2FNewport_Beach_Girl%2FHolidays%2FCandles%2F002.gif&hash=fd8b5969be8995e5178f3af7bc3fa68d)

Jackie...  

:'( :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CANSTANDIT on January 23, 2008, 11:12:54 AM
This news.....has me In tears at work..I should've stayed home.

I send up loving prayers for Jackie's peaceful journey to Eternity-You has a charming companion, Jackie....

May they both rest in peace.

With Love, CSI
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 23, 2008, 11:13:11 AM
This may be an insensitive question, I know, and to myself most of all, haha, but I think it's important. Do we know that Melissa knows what's going on?

On the contrary, Jess.  I think it's very generous of you to be concerned for Melissa.  She is in touch with people in communication with Joanne
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: huntinbuddy on January 23, 2008, 11:13:56 AM
Rest in Peace, my dearest Jackie

Your friendship and warmth will never be forgotten.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 11:14:52 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2Fheres2yousweetJackie.jpg&hash=4b5151f3ddd86535c943365302cb99b3)

And no, "cheers to you, sweet Jackie"

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  what is this?!?!?!?    BRAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now I can't stop crying..... :'( :'( :'( :'(...oh this is wonderful....you're here.....Jackie always wanted you back.... :'( :'( :'(

I have to get back to work...OMG.....this is sooo hard

((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Nellie

Nellie... Love you so much too... This is too painful....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 11:15:35 AM
Jackie sent me a pm and this was the last line:

I really couldn't stand it to lose you or anyone else here.  We are family!

Love,
Jackie

I couldn't say it better!

You are in our prayers!

dana too!!  i tried calling you last month, don't know if you got my message or not.  this is going to be a sloppy emotional day.

could someone please come down to florida and cry with me.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Ruby on January 23, 2008, 11:16:09 AM
I never had the chance to meet Jackie in person.  I had hopes for Oxford, but it was not to be.

I do remember her warmth and how welcoming she was to me when I was new to the forum,  Such a sweet lady, she will be missed.

Rest in peace Jackie. 

 :'( :'(  :-* :-*

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 23, 2008, 11:17:18 AM
while i feel like yelling and crying right now, i'm really happy that it is done. no more pain, no more suffering. peace, and hopefully, a final reward for the wonderful person she was.

love to all of you.....i'd love to hold you in my arms right now.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 11:18:17 AM
Jackie has been one of the loveliest parts of this forum and I will always treasure our hug following watching BBM in Linda's livingroom


welcome back, mary

at least where i can see you.  have you been away too?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 11:18:35 AM
love to all of you.....i'd love to hold you in my arms right now.

Me too Martina  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caithness on January 23, 2008, 11:21:29 AM
Until next time, Jackie, my heart.

 :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: huntinbuddy on January 23, 2008, 11:24:33 AM
After the past 20 hours, I can't handle a cup of coffee, much less a piece of cherry cake.

{{{{{{{{{{{{ Jackie }}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{ Heath }}}}}}}}}}}}
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 23, 2008, 11:24:39 AM
Checking from work . . .  Wow.

(sigh)

Goodnight my sweet princess . . . til we meet again.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 23, 2008, 11:25:22 AM
My dearest, darling Jackie, I am so thankful that you are without pain now, and in peace.

Thank you for everything.
I will always love you.

Your
Marc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cowboyup on January 23, 2008, 11:25:33 AM
Real sorry to hear about Jackie this morning. I met her at the Estes Park bash. She was such a gentle soul and always had a sweet smile. So weird her passing the day after Heath. A very strange time indeed.

Everyone take care of themselves.

Lucian
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 11:26:03 AM
It's strange how I can feel such sadness and yet, seeing you all, old friends here, fills my heart with with such joy.



Jackie would want it that way. She would want us to smile and celebrate, so that's what I have to focus on.

And {{{{{{{  Nick and Rob and Brad and everyone  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}

So nice to have you back, Carol.

Suddenly remembering our first meeting at Brad's, just Brad, Steve, you, Nick and me... Wasn't long after that when we met there again, that time Heidi joined us, and Jackie and Linda were big surprises for my Nicky.

Love, and lots of it, sent out to you two,

{{{{{{{CAROLandHEIDI}}}}}}}
 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Rob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 11:27:02 AM
This may be an insensitive question, I know, and to myself most of all, haha, but I think it's important. Do we know that Melissa knows what's going on?

On the contrary, Jess.  I think it's very generous of you to be concerned for Melissa.  She is in touch with people in communication with Joanne

Thanks Jess. Melissa has been in email contact and I have spoken to her...

I posted her comments on the affected me thread, but it seems sensible to re-post them here,

Melissa sends her love to everyone in this trying time and says...

'Everyone knows I love Jackie, that she was my "mama" better than the one I had and Jackie knows it. That I know for sure, she knows exactly how I feel about her.'

Thanks Melissa, and our love for you is coming back at you... And we know that you are there with us sending love and prayers to Jackie...

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*   
 

I have just left her a voice message, and forwarded Nellie's update to her via email...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 11:28:19 AM

This is that time for a group hug around the Diner/Forum that Jackie loved so much:

((((((((((((((((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 23, 2008, 11:32:14 AM
After W.H. Auden's Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message She is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

She was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 11:33:34 AM
Since I came home from work I have been listening to Dolly Parton's Travelin' Thru

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it's hard to travel on
But holdin' to each other, we don't have to walk alone
When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try
We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

Goodbye little children, goodnight you handsome men
Farewell to all you ladies and to all who knew me when
And I hope I'll see you down the road, you meant more than I knew
As I was travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin'
Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind
Oh give me some direction lord, let me lean on you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', thru


Sleep well, sweetie. Your travelin' is done. You were the best of companion on mine.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caithness on January 23, 2008, 11:34:19 AM
(((((((((Marc))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 11:35:45 AM
Rest quiet, dear Big Sister of mine... I will never forget your greeting to me in the Diner everytime I dropped in for a chat:

"Oooooh Rob!"

Tears are flowing in your memory, sweet Sis,
Rob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 23, 2008, 11:37:30 AM
"Time is too slow for those that wait.

Too swift for those who fear.

Too long for those that grieve.

But for those who love, time is eternity."

Rest in peace, sweet Jackie.

Dan



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 23, 2008, 11:37:56 AM
JACKIE!!!!  



Don't be afraid...
Close your eyes...
Lay it all down...
Don't you cry...
Can't you see I'm goin' where I can see the sun rise?
I've been talkin to my angle, and he said that its alright...

Melissa Etheridge
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 11:39:12 AM
Rest in peace Jackie

We'll meet again over Rainbow Bridge

You'll be watching over us now!

Sal       :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jules on January 23, 2008, 11:45:49 AM
She's watching us from up above, now...

I love you Jackie, sister of mine.

I have just lit a candle and put it outside the window...it feels good to see that flame...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 23, 2008, 11:49:00 AM
"Time is too slow for those that wait.
Too swift for those who fear.
Too long for those that grieve.
But for those who love, time is eternity."

Rest in peace, sweet Jackie.

Dan

That's beautiful, Dan.  Thank you.

Monica
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: graylockV on January 23, 2008, 11:50:58 AM
Jackie - I know you're saving a place for us on the mountain.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: andy/Claude on January 23, 2008, 11:53:51 AM
Bye Jackie... sweet , sweet lady. :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 11:56:47 AM
Eternal peace and joy to you, dearest Jackie.  When we visited by phone just before Joanne picked you up I somehow knew it would be the last time..........you'll always be held close in my heart 'Cuzzin'.   :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 23, 2008, 12:03:29 PM


No more pain, no more suffering, foxette, and eternal happiness awaits you.

With love, Lenny  :-*


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 23, 2008, 12:04:23 PM
We got a family plot in the sky. Jackie's goin in it, got a place all warmed up for her by Heath.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: andy/Claude on January 23, 2008, 12:05:18 PM
The first time I met Jackie, after communing with her for months, was on a layover in Washington. She came to my hotel where we visited for an hour before joining others for lunch. After just a couple of minutes she handed a large bag and box over to me and took great pleasure in watching me remove the contents with my chin on the floor. This pic shows what I found.

It seems a fitting tribute to two very, very special people.



(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi175.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw155%2FAndyflyhi%2FPeople%2F2007_0427self20002-1.jpg&hash=4864a1220fcfa20fddd964ff414d6e9f)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Janie-G on January 23, 2008, 12:05:25 PM
I can't think of a single time when you weren't warm and welcoming Jackie. And that's the greatest accolade I can think of, that you spread love wherever you went. A truly great, wonderful lady. We'll miss you.
Janie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jenny on January 23, 2008, 12:07:37 PM
Goodbye, friend.  I always hoped to see you again, to share the warmth of your smile and your generous hug.  I'm glad I got to see the movie with you, and that we talked, albeit so briefly.  You are no longer in pain.  I would like to think that you are smiling through your tears to see so many of us here today, drawn together by our love for you.  And if there is an afterlife, I'm sure there is a handsome, gifted young actor who will meet you and see the beauty of your spirit.  I know you will give him our love.

Oh honey--you will be so missed! :'(   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 12:12:07 PM
Eternal peace and joy to you, dearest Jackie.  When we visited by phone just before Joanne picked you up I somehow knew it would be the last time..........you'll always be held close in my heart 'Cuzzin'.   :'(

Rememeber this...? Jackie's first evening in BBQ?

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe155%2Fborishki%2FporchIMG_0256.jpg&hash=4c5dccb6bdd6caec016ffadcaffe0bd5)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 12:13:30 PM
Oh Jackie,

God Bless and keep you.

I love you dearly, wonderful friend, sister, advisor, counselor.

Forevermore you will walk in the light, and the light of your love and friendship will warm my heart.

You are and always will be loved by so many.

Peace to you, dearest.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 12:14:51 PM

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh28%2Fhedgiebit%2FBBMBBQ111.jpg&hash=98bda92ce5f99f6f34c46e047a76c4c7)

I don't think I ever posted this before

A lovely photo of Jackie and Nellie

Sal    :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: neatfreak on January 23, 2008, 12:17:15 PM

Today is the day Jackie and I were supposed to meet on campus in Richmond. I just returned from my last class. Shit. I can't even see the keyboard. I'll come back later.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 12:18:01 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh28%2Fhedgiebit%2F629937-R1-045-21.jpg&hash=f684fb3f9ef05072508d378fc0409f1b)

And a photo I love looking at, especially now

Sal       :-*

I didn't take this photo and hope the photographer gives permission to post it here.  Thanks
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 23, 2008, 12:18:33 PM
With Jackie in Terry's garden - me pulling a face because I didn't want to be photographed, she insisting...
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi136.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq161%2Fmarcuscarolus%2FEstes%2520Park%25202007%2FOklahomaCityWithJackie.jpg&hash=60c095d0fd8b361bd2c76b5d8b2d0ae7)
I am glad now that she did
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 12:18:43 PM
Nellie,

(((((((((NELLIE)))))))))))


Saying a prayer for peace for all of us, and most especially you, dear lady.

Thank you for keeping us all informed, it is greatly appreciated.


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 12:19:11 PM
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 23, 2008, 12:21:15 PM
HUGS to everyone here today.

So good to see you all.

God, she would be so happy to see us all here. She is happy. I can feel her now as I type.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 12:23:23 PM
Jackie, you are with all of your wonderful characters from the movies you loved so much, especially now Heath.
I am listening to music from the movies you love so much.

REST IN PEACE my friend. You will always be here to watch over each and every one of us.
I am so glad I got to meet you and that you have been a part of my life. I will always be richer for it.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi48.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff211%2Fkillersmom%2FBBQ%25202006%2FBBMBBQ2006141.jpg&hash=7b166a490d92dc591504237509d3a910)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: loneleeb3 on January 23, 2008, 12:23:23 PM
God Bless Jackie her family and friends.
She was loved and will be missed.
I guess that is the mark of a life well lived.
Rest in peace dear lady.
I wish I had the chance to know you better.
Give our love to heath.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 12:27:46 PM
Eternal peace and joy to you, dearest Jackie.  When we visited by phone just before Joanne picked you up I somehow knew it would be the last time..........you'll always be held close in my heart 'Cuzzin'.   :'(

Rememeber this...? Jackie's first evening in BBQ?

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe155%2Fborishki%2FporchIMG_0256.jpg&hash=4c5dccb6bdd6caec016ffadcaffe0bd5)



Will never forget that evening, (((Jari))).  When she walked out the door and said my name I thought 'she's gonna cry'.  She did.  Now it's our turn......  :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: freetraveller on January 23, 2008, 12:29:19 PM
Farewell (((((dear Jackie)))))
Thank you for welcoming to this forum two years ago, and for enlightening this place with your warmth and open heart.
Sweet dreams,
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 12:29:19 PM
Just a fraction of the people who love and are loved by Jackie.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi48.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff211%2Fkillersmom%2FBBQ%25202006%2FBBMBBQ2006062.jpg&hash=ad3f5869099bde4457573dde7fc81319)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Osprey on January 23, 2008, 12:29:46 PM
My heart is just breaking.  One pleasant thought is that one of the first people Jackie will see as she enters heaven is another new comer, Heath Ledger.  Can you imagine the surprise and joy.  I have a feeling that Heath was well aware of this forum and that he may have even been aware of Jackie.  At any rate, I have a feeling that they will share some wonderful moments and think of us as we are thinking of them.  God bless them both.  This has been one piss pot of a week. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 12:33:35 PM


....Joanne told me she was VERY tempted to have a get together for US at Jackie's apartment....THIS SATURDAY...told me she was thinking about it....but to PLEASE not buy the plane tickets just yet.....I can't believe what I heard....I can't believe she would even think about us like that....maybe it was a request from Jackie instead of funeral services....just maybe...or maybe Joanne wanted to meet us, the people who made her dear mother so very happy...just maybe



Nellie



Nellie,

I think it is so wonderful that Joanne would consider this, however, I have a feeling she may have a change of heart, at least concerning THIS weekend. Grief is an overwhelming process, and she may realize that she and the rest of Jackie's family just aren't up to a lot of strangers around as they make final arrangements. Perhaps she will suggest that the Forum family come to grieve together at a later date, but not too much later, I hope. I am ready to get on a plane.

Whatever Joanne decides, let us all send healing prayers to Jackie's family. Anyone who has lost a family member - a mother, a grandmother, a sister - knows how difficult this time is.....having to make decisions, having to think clearly when your head just wants to shut down. It's so very hard.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: isa on January 23, 2008, 12:36:53 PM
r.i.p Jackie and thank you for everything
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 12:40:03 PM
Jari, one of Jimmy's photos... The lovely look on your face as you listen to Jackie...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxrKUp7BHD7KPfrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQPaJaQGaJGeqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPPG%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=73ab6705320207bc82f9d5d591a2665d)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 23, 2008, 12:40:38 PM

Since this seems to be a common theme, my contribution...May 2007.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi99.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl309%2FLennyD51%2FDC%2520Forum%2FWashington%2FWashingtonD-2.jpg&hash=9a4204031eb9bf4c1c277f0ff328583a)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 12:41:59 PM
Beautiful Lenny...

I remember your visit to the Hotel Foxette... Jackie was so excited to have you coming to stay...

We have both had wonderful times there.... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 12:46:32 PM
Has anyone been in touch with, or able to contact Paul (MeJack)... I know that he and Jackie were very close....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 12:49:38 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4P0frj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQPaJaQlGe0lqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPoG%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=b22d6b80a1a29647b3ad4012bda9d45c)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: yukie on January 23, 2008, 12:49:48 PM
My deepest sympathy to Jackie's Family and friends from a long time "reader" of this message board. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bbmbliss on January 23, 2008, 12:51:17 PM
I remember watching BBM in Linda's house in Texas, sitting just in front of Jackie.  At the end, she started singing along to the songs during the credits, and then other people joined in.  A very special moment for me.

Sweet dreams Jackie.  You were a truly remarkable woman.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chapeaugris on January 23, 2008, 12:52:03 PM
I take comfort in the thought that, as our own stars blink out over the coming decades,
Jackie will be there to greet each of us the way she welcomed us as we stumbled in here.
She will be the Polaris of our little corner of the Brokeback galaxy.
Until we meet again, Jackie.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi212.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc178%2Fsoulan09%2Fnorthstar.jpg&hash=dd001b107e700bddfaf5cf45aa2db2f9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 12:52:13 PM
Has anyone been in touch with, or able to contact Paul (MeJack)... I know that he and Jackie were very close....

No... I was thinking about him and most likely he doesn't know.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 12:52:34 PM

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh28%2Fhedgiebit%2FBBMBBQ111.jpg&hash=98bda92ce5f99f6f34c46e047a76c4c7)

I don't think I ever posted this before

A lovely photo of Jackie and Nellie

Sal    :-*

Oh Sal...thank you for this....I remember saying under my breath..."Oh God,it's fucken 100 degrees out and I need to take the shine off my face."...and Jackie replying..."Oh shut up,you're fine,just hurry up and and smile"...........UGH..... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 12:52:44 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxrKUp7BHD7KPfrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQPaJaQlanJnqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPPG%257CRup6eol%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C488%2C443&hash=503a0c3186deb3fcbf9d5cff1930d559)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 12:56:30 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4P0frj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQPaJaQnaJeJqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPPa%257CRup6G0P%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C391&hash=3da2a6739c9ca0512bc1766602fd1094)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: milomorris on January 23, 2008, 12:59:12 PM
Wow. Yet another loss. I only knew Jackie from being online here, and she was a great lady. May she rest in peace.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 23, 2008, 12:59:20 PM
I'm so grateful I have this place to go to now...

... I feel exhausted, shocked and relieved at the same time - Jackie is no longer where we can see her but she is definitely around, and she is free of pain.
And she's with Heath somehow, I just know it.

((((((((Nellie))))))) thankyou so much for posting and please take care of yourself... I know, I also must think of some kind of meaning to all this.... for me, it just can't be a coincidence that both Jackie and Heath pass away within the same day. I both can't belive it, and I can.

Another comforting thought is that Jackie's family get to experience the love of her Brokeback family.... And knowing that Jackie knew how LOVED she was is also comforting...

.. I must take a break..
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: estefue on January 23, 2008, 01:00:10 PM
Descansa en paz, Jackie y que Dios te tenga en su gloria.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 23, 2008, 01:01:01 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh28%2Fhedgiebit%2F629937-R1-045-21.jpg&hash=f684fb3f9ef05072508d378fc0409f1b)

And a photo I love looking at, especially now

Sal       :-*

I didn't take this photo and hope the photographer gives permission to post it here.  Thanks

oh i don1t even think i have this photo thanks sal  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 01:03:31 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FNYC%2520Gathering%2FNYCGathering016.jpg&hash=89b5b5a4cf1d2567004d438707b9b3e2)

Zudos (Wayne), Painted Shoes (Jackie), Meeooowww (Jenny) CellarDweller (me)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Miaisland on January 23, 2008, 01:03:38 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi215.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc19%2FJanssonmamma%2Fcc7df8dd.gif&hash=b2401e4e4b56c3cd352f785868eb357d)

My condolances and my warmest thoughts to Jackies family and all her close friends here at the forum.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Katiebre on January 23, 2008, 01:04:23 PM
Oh my God.

I haven't been here in ages, came here because when I returned home from a lovely day out with my mom our neighbour, who was looking after my son, told me that Heath had died. I was shocked, and had the urge to come here -
.... only to find that Jackie, died, too.

I don't have any words, this is so sad, and I'm sure this place (not only this forum, but planet Earth, too) will be a grayer place without her.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 01:04:29 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FNYC%2520Gathering%2FNYCGathering019.jpg&hash=c347aa28d1bd7d89ca2b4a56638c46eb)


Jenny, Jackie, Meryl
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:05:04 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.snapfish.com%2F232323232%257Ffp355%253Enu%253D3277%253E%253B%253A2%253E767%253EWSNRCG%253D3233%253A8%253C788%253A27nu0mrj&hash=6925d4293ac127c03c415ae8136cd1eb)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 23, 2008, 01:05:23 PM
Beautiful Lenny...

I remember your visit to the Hotel Foxette... Jackie was so excited to have you coming to stay...

We have both had wonderful times there.... :-*

Thanks, Z, good to see you, it's been too long. Yes, she was excited..........and soooooooo embarrassed at the 'Hotel Foxette' sign I made and flashed at her when I arrived.

She loved it....!   ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 01:06:02 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FNYC%2520Gathering%2FNYCGathering037.jpg&hash=c09cbd174a79f6e80115364dace967da)


this one hangs in my cubicle at work
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:06:16 PM
Beautiful Lenny...

I remember your visit to the Hotel Foxette... Jackie was so excited to have you coming to stay...

We have both had wonderful times there.... :-*

Thanks, Z, good to see you, it's been too long. Yes, she was excited..........and soooooooo embarrassed at the 'Hotel Foxette' sign I made and flashed at her when I arrived.

She loved it....!   ;D

Of course she loved it darling... For you made it for her...  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jeff Wrangler on January 23, 2008, 01:07:06 PM
I'm so, so sorry to learn the news of Jackie's death.

I can't remember if we even had a chance to be introduced at the barbecue, but once I signed on here, I quickly noticed how joyful her posts always seemed to be.

To her daughter and to those of you who knew her well, my heart goes out to you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:08:03 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi54.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg116%2FCellarDweller115%2FNYC%2520Gathering%2FNYCGathering016.jpg&hash=89b5b5a4cf1d2567004d438707b9b3e2)

Zudos (Wayne), Painted Shoes (Jackie), Meeooowww (Jenny) CellarDweller (me)

In the very lobby Chucki, where Jackie had told us off like a couple of little kids for giggling and joking about massage, when she was trying to check into the hotel.... hehehehehe

And I am sure you are so so so so glad that you decided to stay with her that night... What a blessing in her upgraded room..... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 23, 2008, 01:08:44 PM
I remember watching BBM in Linda's house in Texas, sitting just in front of Jackie.  At the end, she started singing along to the songs during the credits, and then other people joined in.  A very special moment for me.

Sweet dreams Jackie.  You were a truly remarkable woman.

Yes, Sarah, she had a remarkably good voice and carried pitch! But of course, she was all embarrassed about it.  :-[
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 23, 2008, 01:08:53 PM
jackie, sweetie i will always love you  :-*

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv627%2Fsifra%2Ffotos%2FconnysBBQpics179.jpg&hash=4488416d260b2481a5799b668121e5c7)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:10:55 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4PG-ofrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQ0nQPJP0Qn0qpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPen%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=11a56a1e94633563d6451192918f6526)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:11:28 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4Pl-ofrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQ0nQPJP0PPGqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPaQ%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=e7cb7dcc3be0550ab817700d97dc72af)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:12:14 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4PJ-ofrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQ0nQPJP0PPeqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPeJ%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=3f12ed26db7d87f53daed32133eaab63)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:13:28 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4PG-ofrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQ0nQPJPaJ0aqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPen%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=81ddf93eb4cb3f9357756ffb166bdc0e)

Our last moments together on the roof of the Hotel Gansevoort in New York
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:14:00 PM
Pensive

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4Pl-ofrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQ0nQPJPaJJ0qpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPaQ%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=34b45b4a1c9085c9cd2dbf95b63b645e)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 23, 2008, 01:15:59 PM
In the very lobby Chucki, where Jackie had told us off like a couple of little kids for giggling and joking about massage, when she was trying to check into the hotel.... hehehehehe


I will NEVER FORGET that story!  haahaahaaa

I'll tell it now, just because.

Wayne, Jackie and I were in the lobby of the hotel pictured above.  Jackie was checking in.  I had made a comment about only my boyfriend rubbing me (giving me a massage) and it struck Wayne very funny.

the two of us started carrying on, and Wayne whispered to me "It's like we're the two misbehaving children, and she's the mum who's going to scold us." and we both started laughing, and suddenly, Jackie turns and says in a stern voice....

"Gentlemen, please!   Shush!"

we just looked at each other, wide eyed and giggling.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 23, 2008, 01:17:07 PM
Say not in grief that she is no more
but say in thankfulness that she was
A death is not the extinguishing of a light,
but the putting out of the lamp
because the dawn has come.
 
Tagore
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 01:18:31 PM
((((((((Jackie))))))))

       Thank you for your friendship and genuine love and am forever grateful.  Peace be with you.

Love you more.
gerry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 01:25:37 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FBay%2520City%2520Event-2007%2FHPIM4397.jpg&hash=1eac6ca5d7354733d2321281c928d4dd)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: never enough on January 23, 2008, 01:26:12 PM
I remember meeting Jackie at the Slash Bash II in October 2007.  After watching the movie I was weeping uncontrollably.  Jackie didn't know me from Eve but she never hesitated for a single second.  She just put her arms around me and held me until my tears ran dry.  I can still hear her whispering over and over, "I know.  I know, sweetie.  I know."  Her soul radiated kindness.


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi130.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fp265%2Fnever--enough%2Fcandle.jpg&hash=4ee07f396b00043ca72473525c716036)

           In Memoriam


-Julia
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 01:26:22 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FBay%2520City%2520Event-2007%2FHPIM4347.jpg&hash=da6d5c89f28617be49ba1807e0e53a07)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 01:26:34 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4PG-ofrj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQ0nQPJPaJ0aqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPen%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=81ddf93eb4cb3f9357756ffb166bdc0e)

Our last moments together on the roof of the Hotel Gansevoort in New York

What a lovely photo of a beautiful lady.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 01:27:16 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FBay%2520City%2520Event-2007%2FHPIM4287.jpg&hash=d639ed462af9507c9baf5487c0eb855a)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bobby19in1963 on January 23, 2008, 01:28:44 PM
She epitomized what the wonderful women of the Forum have meant to me in this coming out process.  Jackie, I sure love you...and I can still hear your voice on the other end of the line...just sorry I didn't know you were so ill...you were always thinking of others, and when I think of you I'll try harder to do the same.

Bobby
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: neatfreak on January 23, 2008, 01:29:54 PM
Her soul radiated kindness.

You nailed it, Julia. She was such a welcoming spirit to all. I look forward to her loving greeting again when my time comes.

Betty
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 01:40:28 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253AxxWtUq4P0frj%253DQofrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQPaJaQnaJeJqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gXPPa%257CRup6G0P%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C391&hash=3da2a6739c9ca0512bc1766602fd1094)
I love this one of the three of us, Wayne.

Thanks for reposting it after all this time.

 :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:43:07 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGeGlJJqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0a%257CRup6GGJ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C408&hash=12f6d154919f0717803ba1a5489e8d19)

I think this may have been Jackie's first Brokeback gathering...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:43:42 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGJeneaqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQoJ%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=e78987c0f4211dcbe46513bae069cd61)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:44:12 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGJenenqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0o%257CRup6lG0%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C542%2C443&hash=3af3e3f2ff93b4ce5df33cc7171c6259)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:44:53 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGeGlJGqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ00%257CRup6G00%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C393&hash=fd256c36325cdc8030dcefb6325f7e12)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:48:24 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGeJG0oqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQoe%257CRup6G00%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C393&hash=07e457bf6da294d26106bd1593afee69)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:48:47 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGaoonlqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQJQ%257CRup6G00%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C393&hash=84ac97df116b3bd490321c7471861057)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:49:15 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGeJG0JqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QPGG%257CRup6G00%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C393&hash=69e97ccb1bb492fc85c2770a3b6b7e32)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 01:50:13 PM
Her smile in the pix says it all...........joy of life and love of friends......... :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 01:50:52 PM
Keep 'em coming Wayne - a wonderful tribute to a wonderful lady

Sal      :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: huntinbuddy on January 23, 2008, 01:54:35 PM
I need a new box of kleenex!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:55:14 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGaPPoaqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ00%257CRup6GJQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C398&hash=281e3550f9694519f29cc0c8cc3ad1b6)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 23, 2008, 01:55:29 PM
Couldn't help re-posting from Slash:

Again, Grace, thanks for the image that now lives in my head and heart. jackie's tbere, takinig Heath's hand
and showing him the way.

And you think Heath is getting just a bit of that mothering?   :D :D      :'(

LOL!! and loving it. Jackie had that way about her.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 01:59:24 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGaPPoaqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ00%257CRup6GJQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C398&hash=281e3550f9694519f29cc0c8cc3ad1b6)
A little while after this photo was taken I arrived at that restaurant there in Bourne with Bob, (Maturben). After the wonderful greetings from all there Jackie and I headed back to the San Antonio airport to pick up Nick and Sal.

Just one of many memories I have of Jackie.

PS: She made the best oatmeal raisin cookies, too!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 01:59:27 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGaJnooqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQJQ%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=16b5b3e539979975ced9a60072333e58)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 02:02:48 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGaG00nqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQJQ%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=584482daaad4058b043cd650a3c6860a)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 02:03:13 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGaGnPaqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QPGJ%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=9398224ba4e01b35f0be4a1622eb3a72)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: neatfreak on January 23, 2008, 02:04:26 PM
Thank you all for these wonderful pictures. Please keep them coming! :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 02:06:34 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDPfRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGanQn0qpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQoG%257CRup6G00%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C393&hash=40fa8daefed7bd32fb4d700fcebb7ab8)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 02:07:03 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6eJJ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGe0aa0qpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0J%257CRup6aQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C411%2C442&hash=a95b8b0acc0022bd7deee3644a0c2dd2)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 02:09:02 PM
Thanks guys, I am sifting through the reunion photos thread to find some more... But for now my heart is spent...

What a wonderful lady...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 02:11:00 PM
Hello friends,

I had the privilege to talk to Jackie's daughter-in-law,Paula,a few minutes ago. She really caught me by surprise and was in total shock. Jackie spoke of Paula as if she were her daughter,well,she was I guess...

The touching things Paula was able to share with me meant the world to me and I'd like to share a few of these with you,her other family...she spoke of how we all changed her life...how excited she was when she would go to the get togethers...her self esteem was zero before she met us,she never thought herself as beautiful,she was always too fat and ugly she would say.... *sigh*...the beauty she had inside...her soul that touched us all...how can she say she wasn't beautiful?....but Paula says the difference it made on her after she began getting involved with us ,how it perked her up and made her believe she was in fact a gorgeous woman..heart and soul,that's where it counts...beauty is within....we changed her life...it makes me so happy to hear this from one of her family members.

Paula mentioned to me again what Joanne told me...about coming out to Jackie's apartment THIS Saturday...again I told her.."Have you ANY clue as to how many people may show up to this apartment?..are ya nuts?"...lol....she said "yes"..."We can house 30 something people comfortably,can house them with no problem,and can hold 50 people "uncomfortably"...ha ha ha....oh Lord....no wonder Jackie loved Paula to pieces,she's as crazy as Jackie was...lol

She is going to keep me updated ASAP since it's already Wednesday...not sure if it's even feasible for me to get out there myself,but I will try my hardest to.

Jackie's ashes are going to be taken to Brokeback Mountain....and it will be spread freely....she is going to invite ALL of us for this ceremony and it will be soon.....she may get her ashes as early as a couple days...so maybe a couple weeks after?...I don't know...she is going to contact me with more info...

I'm still in shock that Jackie's family is asking us to be there...I'm so humbled...so honored....Our Jackie is smiling right now....

((((((hugs))))))

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 23, 2008, 02:11:56 PM
Thanks guys, I am sifting through the reunion photos thread to find some more... But for now my heart is spent...

What a wonderful lady...

You've done an admirable job, Z, she is proud...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 02:12:01 PM
This one is a short video I made after Linda's BBQ.  A lot of us are in it, along with our dear Jackie.

You should be able to right click and open in a new window, or right click and you can save the file.  It's 31.5 MB, so shouldn't take too long for high-speed.

It's titled 'That's What Friends Are For'.........in honor of PaintedShoes.......

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FNicksBBQGroupPic.jpg&hash=92633ad064be43a7cb68f124ceacaf91) (http://www.brightok.net/~browning/TheDaveCullenForumBand/HTMLobj-280/That_s_What_Friends_Are_For-BrokenOkie_s_BBQ_Video.wmv)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 02:18:57 PM


Jackie's ashes are going to be taken to Brokeback Mountain....and it will be spread freely....she is going to invite ALL of us for this ceremony and it will be soon.....she may get her ashes as early as a couple days...so maybe a couple weeks after?...I don't know...she is going to contact me with more info...


Nellie



Oh Nellie, this is so good to hear. I feel so much better. To hear what Paula is saying about the Forum and its effect on Jackie - wonderful.

Thanks, Nellie.  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 02:19:30 PM
"Jackie's ashes are going to be taken to Brokeback Mountain...."

Thank you, Paula, Marc, Bruce and Joanne. That is the most beautiful gesture ever.

 

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 23, 2008, 02:33:29 PM
Thank you for that video, Glenn.  Beautiful - it filled me with such joy and such sadness at the same time.

I'm so happy about the ashes. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 02:34:16 PM
Glenn

Lovely to see again, it seems sooo long ago, but there again like yesterday!

Cowntess     :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 23, 2008, 02:36:43 PM
glenn kl`k kl`k thank you darling  :-*

and i wish i could be there with jackies ashes spreading on brokeback. so beautiful.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 23, 2008, 02:43:20 PM
"Jackie's ashes are going to be taken to Brokeback Mountain...."

Thank you, Paula, Marc, Bruce and Joanne. That is the most beautiful gesture ever.

 



i'm still in total awe that they are doing this. they must really love her a lot to do exactly what she had wished. what a wonderful family !
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: alma on January 23, 2008, 02:44:31 PM
Nell, thanks for the update. It's truly incredible the wealth of healing and love that has come from this forum, this place for so many who felt unloved or misunderstood elsewhere in life.

I'm also not one to point to providential connections, but I can't help but be in awe that the timing of Heath's and Jackie's passings are so close together. Somehow it makes both losses less lonely.

Peace to everyone.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 02:48:22 PM
Nell, thanks for the update. It's truly incredible the wealth of healing and love that has come from this forum, this place for so many who felt unloved or misunderstood elsewhere in life.

I'm also not one to point to providential connections, but I can't help but be in awe that the timing of Heath's and Jackie's passings are so close together. Somehow it makes both losses less lonely.

Peace to everyone.

Yes, it is very ironic and maybe some meaning behind all this....only God knew what he was doing....they surely aren't too lonely up there now....Jackie will talk a blue streak!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 02:49:40 PM
((((Nellie))))

Thanks so much for the continued updates.  You have been a rock through all this. 

Love you.  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: rnmina on January 23, 2008, 02:52:29 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2Fheres2yousweetJackie.jpg&hash=4b5151f3ddd86535c943365302cb99b3)

And no, "cheers to you, sweet Jackie"

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  what is this?!?!?!?    BRAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now I can't stop crying..... :'( :'( :'( :'(...oh this is wonderful....you're here.....Jackie always wanted you back.... :'( :'( :'(

I have to get back to work...OMG.....this is sooo hard

((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Nellie

Nellie... Love you so much too... This is too painful....
God, not this sweet woman with the warm  eyes and beautiful smile. I  never met Jackie except through photos, but she made me feel her goodness and  her warm heart whenever I saw her pics on this forum.
What a sad week for us all.
s
 

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Bethie on January 23, 2008, 02:56:24 PM
I know that this is a really stupid question. Please forgive me.

Which Brokeback? The one in Wyoming, or the one where they filmed the movie?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 23, 2008, 03:01:51 PM
And this is one of the things that Jackie dearly loved about the forum... It helped her to have confidence in herself...

And as she said ALIVE

Still thinking lots about you this morning Jackie...  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Thank you for this Wayne.  Although I am heartbroken at the moment it is helpful to know that she would want us all to go on living, and living well.

Much love to Jackie - at peace and in joy - and solace and hope for peace, healing and love to all here.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:04:04 PM
Nellie that is amazing...

I also just spoke to Paula, and she could name so many of us...

She said that the last two years in Jackie's life have been amazing and they will be eternally grateful to everyone here for all the reasons you detailed...

They are heading up to Joanne's house shortly, but Paula is going to come to the forum when she gets home and read all our tributes to Jackie...

I have a warm feeling for the first time today, as can you imagine Jackie's brimming heart, knowing that her favourite daughter in law is coming to her forum...

And I can tell you all, as Jari will confirm, Paula is the most wonderful person... Jackie took me to her son's house to meet them when I was in Washington... 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:07:03 PM
((((Nellie))))

Thanks so much for the continued updates.  You have been a rock through all this. 

Love you.  :-*

I have to say that I want to THANK all of you.....because without you all,I wouldn't have the strength...I REALLY mean it...I love you guys

Nellie :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 03:07:38 PM
This one is a short video I made after Linda's BBQ.  A lot of us are in it, along with our dear Jackie.

You should be able to right click and open in a new window, or right click and you can save the file.  It's 31.5 MB, so shouldn't take too long for high-speed.

It's titled 'That's What Friends Are For'.........in honor of PaintedShoes.......

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FNicksBBQGroupPic.jpg&hash=92633ad064be43a7cb68f124ceacaf91) (http://www.brightok.net/~browning/TheDaveCullenForumBand/HTMLobj-280/That_s_What_Friends_Are_For-BrokenOkie_s_BBQ_Video.wmv)
Thanks for bringing that back, Glenn.

 :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 23, 2008, 03:09:08 PM
Jackie's ashes are going to be taken to Brokeback Mountain....and it will be spread freely....she is going to invite ALL of us for this ceremony and it will be soon.....she may get her ashes as early as a couple days...so maybe a couple weeks after?...I don't know...she is going to contact me with more info...
THANK YOU
Joanne, Mark, Bruce, Paula
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 03:09:12 PM
glenn kl`k kl`k thank you darling  :-*

and i wish i could be there with jackies ashes spreading on brokeback. so beautiful.
I wish we could all be there, Conny.

 :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 23, 2008, 03:11:01 PM
thanks wayne  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:11:42 PM
Nellie that is amazing...

I also just spoke to Paula, and she could name so many of us...

She said that the last two years in Jackie's life have been amazing and they will be eternally grateful to everyone here for all the reasons you detailed...

They are heading up to Joanne's house shortly, but Paula is going to come to the forum when she gets home and read all our tributes to Jackie...

I have a warm feeling for the first time today, as can you imagine Jackie's brimming heart, knowing that her favourite daughter in law is coming to her forum...

And I can tell you all, as Jari will confirm, Paula is the most wonderful person... Jackie took me to her son's house to meet them when I was in Washington... 

Paula told me this,Wayne...she named a WHOLE bunch of us....you,Jari,Brad,Terry,Mitch,NickinIdaho...OMG...she went on and on...I was floored....she told me she knew of our spouses,our kids...and then I said...wait...you know EVERYTHING about us?...bwahahaha...Good Lord...that 's not good....ha ha ha

She did say she was coming in here because I told her we had a thread ,just for our Jackie...pictures and all...we cried together and it felt so so warm....I wanted to hug her...I want to meet her so badly...it may just happen...*sigh*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: whysoserious on January 23, 2008, 03:13:43 PM
I've logged on here for one, to pay my respects to Heath and for two, to pay my respects to Jackie.

It's truly like an end of an era, for me.

Goodbye, Jackie.  

Maggie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:13:51 PM
I know that this is a really stupid question. Please forgive me.

Which Brokeback? The one in Wyoming, or the one where they filmed the movie?

Honey...I'm not even sure....I'm so stupid...didn't even ask her,I was in too much of a shock

My guess would be in Wyoming....don't think they're going all the way to Canada ...hmmmmm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:16:50 PM
Nellie that is amazing...

I also just spoke to Paula, and she could name so many of us...

She said that the last two years in Jackie's life have been amazing and they will be eternally grateful to everyone here for all the reasons you detailed...

They are heading up to Joanne's house shortly, but Paula is going to come to the forum when she gets home and read all our tributes to Jackie...

I have a warm feeling for the first time today, as can you imagine Jackie's brimming heart, knowing that her favourite daughter in law is coming to her forum...

And I can tell you all, as Jari will confirm, Paula is the most wonderful person... Jackie took me to her son's house to meet them when I was in Washington... 

Paula told me this,Wayne...she named a WHOLE bunch of us....you,Jari,Brad,Terry,Mitch,NickinIdaho...OMG...she went on and on...I was floored....she told me she knew of our spouses,our kids...and then I said...wait...you know EVERYTHING about us?...bwahahaha...Good Lord...that 's not good....ha ha ha

She did say she was coming in here because I told her we had a thread ,just for our Jackie...pictures and all...we cried together and it felt so so warm....I wanted to hug her...I want to meet her so badly...it may just happen...*sigh*

And you will Nellie and it will be amazing...

I am going to do so much to be there... I have to... The final thing I can do to show my respects to Jackie...

Nellie, I really love all the support you have given to all of us, and thank you for all the great things you said on the phone when we talked and cried together.... I LOVE you so much... You have done our HALLOWED PAINTED SHOES proud :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:17:31 PM
thanks wayne  :-*
Pleasure Treasure :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 03:20:02 PM
Hey all, just able to get back in with work and everything.

As everyone else, it's been difficult to work and think about jackie
at the same time.  Work today has been especially heavy,
that's why I haven't been here this afternoon.

Posted very early this afternoon, but will be here for a bit now.

Great friends all of you.    :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gnash on January 23, 2008, 03:20:09 PM



Painted Shoes

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftaxine.com%2Ffullerspicer%2Fjp_01.jpg&hash=3d0143d9f27f864b78655f6c6bdf3e69)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftaxine.com%2Ffullerspicer%2Fjp_02.jpg&hash=49393afc48dc5893ccb1e20727e665db)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftaxine.com%2Ffullerspicer%2Fjp_03.jpg&hash=3009668b589bb987f1a7bde17b94c771)

a smiling jackie from texas 2006

with friends from near and far

::: remembering u fondly :::

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:21:23 PM


And you will Nellie and it will be amazing...

I am going to do so much to be there... I have to... The final thing I can do to show my respects to Jackie...

Nellie, I really love all the support you have given to all of us, and thank you for all the great things you said on the phone when we talked and cried together.... I LOVE you so much... You have done our HALLOWED PAINTED SHOES proud :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*   

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(...Wayne,you made me cry again.....you are so special to me...thank you for your kind words...it sure helps with the healing process......I have to tell you....when the phone rang and it had Jackie's last name on it...I thought just for a minute...was this just a dream?.....*sigh*....and then  said....is she calling me from Heaven?......................... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Oregondoggie on January 23, 2008, 03:21:47 PM
"Jackie's ashes are going to be taken to Brokeback Mountain....and it will be spread freely....she is going to invite ALL of us for this ceremony and it will be soon.....she may get her ashes as early as a couple days...so maybe a couple weeks after?...I don't know...she is going to contact me with more info..."

If this is so, they must mean Brokenback Mountain in Wyoming.  There is a group of us planning to be there in early June.  EDelMar is in charge and there is a thread on this forum as well as bettermost.net.  If the spreading of the ashes could be postponed.... we could be part of it.  If not, we will surely tread reverently and with love.



 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:23:15 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftaxine.com%2Ffullerspicer%2Fjp_03.jpg&hash=3009668b589bb987f1a7bde17b94c771)

a smiling jackie from texas 2006

with friends from near and far

::: remembering u fondly :::

[/center]

this is the picture I took...OMG.....look at her gorgeous happy face!! and Jari.......oh God  :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 23, 2008, 03:23:50 PM
I'm sure it's Wyoming. "Brokenback Mountain" That's where we have the cache. Jackie and I talked about this way back in Estes Park.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:24:50 PM
Thanks for that Doggie... I think it really will be up to the family to dictate when this happens, and I for one am happy to follow their lead...

If we can assist them in their grieving and be there with them for the scattering of our darlings ashes, then that fact alone is amazing...

   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:26:09 PM
And you me Nellie, and you me...  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 03:27:33 PM
I'm here for a while now too, Gerry.  Trying to process everything myself....look through some pictures.  Thanks Nellie for all the updates...both good and bad. 

Mitchell
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:28:06 PM
I'm here for a while now too, Gerry.  Trying to process everything myself....look through some pictures.  Thanks Nellie for all the updates...both good and bad. 

Mitchell

Good to see you here Mitch...  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:28:09 PM
I'm here for a while now too, Gerry.  Trying to process everything myself....look through some pictures.  Thanks Nellie for all the updates...both good and bad. 

Mitchell

Oh Mitchie............. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 23, 2008, 03:28:23 PM
Nellie - just a brief note to tell you how much I appreciate you (again, still) because of all of this.  Words rarely fail me, but they do now.  Know that we are all thinking of you with love and admiration for this and Jackie is now smiling down at you and sending her love to you as well.

besos mi hermana
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: elena on January 23, 2008, 03:29:22 PM
Hi, everybody! I wanted to pay my respects to Jackie.

I remember seeing her around in my first days on the forum in the thread How Brokeback Affected Me. She was so kind and full of empathy.
Then I didn't have any contact any more if not for seeing pictures of her at the gatherings. I didn't know anything about her illness.

It's a big loss when such a person dies, I'm so sad! But somehow I can smile between my tears thinking that her ashes will be scattered on Brokeback Mountain.

A sincere hug to everybody and especially to her relatives!

Antonella
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 03:31:26 PM
I'm here for a while now too, Gerry.  Trying to process everything myself....look through some pictures.  Thanks Nellie for all the updates...both good and bad. 

Mitchell

Thanks for that Mitch..... unfortunately, photobucket doesn't come through here at work.  Some other sites are.
I'll look at them when I get home.  All the best to you.

 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 23, 2008, 03:31:58 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi93.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl77%2Fphrag3%2F068-1.jpg&hash=77b18972a8f5c473606f8c06de9735bf)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:32:33 PM
Great to have you here right now Gerry - Photobucket or not....

It adds to the warmth and support that we all need right now... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 23, 2008, 03:32:36 PM
The view from the top of Brokenback. This is very near to the cache.

I told Jackie that if the time ever came, to please make sure my ashes go here.

She said something like "Ok, as long as you do the same for me Honey"


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.baycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FBighorn%2Fbh8.jpg&hash=b197bea08de7fa0fceb4eaeb96e29fae)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Oregondoggie on January 23, 2008, 03:34:43 PM
The family might want to know that there is probably a lot, a real lot of snow on Brokenback Mountain right now.  The road, bad enough in summer, must be nearly impassable.  Last June there was even a light snow during the night.

But I truly hope her ashes find repose there.  It is a sublime spot.  You can see for miles.  Hear the dogs barking at far away ranches.  Jackie's spirit will "fly forever in the euphoric, bitter air... suspended above ordinary affairs..."  But she will NOT be invisible.  Every one of us will feel her presence on that mountain.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:34:58 PM


An e-mail I just rec'd just now from Jackie's daughter....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaclyn Christine Pascarella died in her sleep this morning at 3 am.

3 of her sisters are here and we've said our final goodbyes.
Mom wanted to be cremated, she did not want a funeral, viewing, or 
graveside services.
My brother and I will be hosting a gathering for all her friends and 
loved ones, this Saturday January 26th from 1-5 pm at her apartment:

6200 Westchester Park Drive #306
College Park, MD 20740

The nearest hotel is the Sheraton Greenbelt, you can Google it.

Mom worked for years at The Washington Ear, reading the Washington 
Post for blind people to call in and hear the news each day. We ask 
that in lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to them at 
www.washear.org (301 681 6636).

Again, phone calls are a bit more than I can handle right now. We 
have been deeply moved by your thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,
Joanne Pascarella Watson
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 23, 2008, 03:36:03 PM
Mmmmm...just got home and saw the terrible news, I've been away from the computer all day.

I really didn't think it would happen this quickly.  When did we find out? 

I'll be back to say something more a little later.   :'(    :'(    :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 23, 2008, 03:36:42 PM
The family might want to know that there is probably a lot, a real lot of snow on Brokenback Mountain right now.  The road, bad enough in summer, must be nearly impassable.  Last June there was even a light snow during the night.

But I truly hope her ashes find repose there.  It is a sublime spot.  You can see for miles.  Hear the dogs barking at far away ranches.  Jackie's spirit will "fly forever in the euphoric, bitter air... suspended above ordinary affairs..."  But she will NOT be invisible.  Every one of us will feel her presence on that mountain.

thanks OregonDoggie.

The pic I posted was taken at the end of May, and there was still snow up there.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Flyboy on January 23, 2008, 03:36:57 PM
One of Jackie's last posts in the Forum was to me, wishing me a Happy New Year. There are no words to express my sadness at the news.

Rest in Peace, Jackie, you wonderful, warm and caring person, my thoughts are with her family now.

Jonn
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dahlia on January 23, 2008, 03:37:34 PM

I'll be back to say something more a little later.   :'(    :'(    :'(


((((((((Deb)))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 23, 2008, 03:39:28 PM
Dear friends,

*sigh*.........I just came home real quick to have my lunch and there was a message from Joanne,Jackie's daughter........

.....what we were dreading to hear....our beautiful Jackie passed away this morning,peacefully.....

...I don't have words to say.....my mind is at a loss...I can't swallow this right now,I must get back to work

..all I CAN say is that Heath was there to hold her hand,her dream of meeting Heath,came true....and even though I know that Ennis and Jack were fictional...the only thing that is helping me understand Heath's death is to allow myself to think that it WAS true,it was real ,and he is with Jack in Heaven right now.......the 3 of them.....this is the ONLY way I'm dealing with this nightmare right now.....

Friends.....this hasn't been a good year for us,has it......23 days after the New Year and 2 tragedies....but please find comfort in all this...this is what Jackie wanted,for us to have each other thru good and bad.....please FORGIVE one another if you were pissed at each other....Jackie's hope was to have Brad back in this Forum...she always said that to me...she felt like it wasn't the same,and I agreed with her...and the others besides Brad.....

....Joanne told me she was VERY tempted to have a get together for US at Jackie's apartment....THIS SATURDAY...told me she was thinking about it....but to PLEASE not buy the plane tickets just yet.....I can't believe what I heard....I can't believe she would even think about us like that....maybe it was a request from Jackie instead of funeral services....just maybe...or maybe Joanne wanted to meet us, the people who made her dear mother so very happy...just maybe

Please keep all this in mind,friends...I'm going to try my hardest to get there....I was going to get plane tickets today to see Jackie,hold her hand....but now I can't.....but if I can be there among friends from here and celebrate her LIFE....than that will be ....

Love you all so much,

Nellie


Thanks Nellie!  :'(


Rest in peace dear Jackie, we all loved you so much!!



Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

 

Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 23, 2008, 03:40:16 PM
I really didn't think it would happen this quickly.  When did we find out? 

Deb, in the first post on this thread we've been cataloging links to the important updates in the past few days.  All of Nellies posts are (will be soon!) linked there.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:40:38 PM
The view from the top of Brokenback. This is very near to the cache.

I told Jackie that if the time ever came, to please make sure my ashes go here.

She said something like "Ok, as long as you do the same for me Honey"


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.baycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FBighorn%2Fbh8.jpg&hash=b197bea08de7fa0fceb4eaeb96e29fae)

John I always loved these photos you took, and have made a few copies which I was going to frame and hang... They will of course mean a lot more now, but thank you for posting this photo right now...  :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gres on January 23, 2008, 03:41:14 PM
I so remember all those pics being posted in the last few pages. I so wanted to have been able to make it in at least one of those gatherings but......
Jackie shortly will be flying in the air, a free bird over brokeback mountain.  :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 03:42:02 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi215.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc19%2FJanssonmamma%2Fcc7df8dd.gif&hash=b2401e4e4b56c3cd352f785868eb357d)

Requiem aeternam dona ei, Domine,
Et lux perpetua luceat eam.

Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord,
And let perpetual light shine upon her.
May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed,
Through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Amen.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:42:19 PM
Lola...thank you so much for the poem...it's really beautiful :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Mejack on January 23, 2008, 03:43:51 PM
This day is almost more than I can bear.
She called me her "elder brother".

Paul
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:44:29 PM
This day is almost more than I can bear.
She called me her "elder brother".

Paul


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( PAUL ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:46:33 PM
This day is almost more than I can bear.
She called me her "elder brother".

Paul


Paul, hi darling... So glad you found your way here... You were so special to Jackie... We were worried that you would not have a way to find out...

Come in, celebrate Jackie's wonderful life and join in the support and warmth that we are sharing right now... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 03:46:48 PM
Such mixed feelings now.

So sad to hear of the passing of a great lady.

So happy to be among friends, and to hear from old friends, Brad, Heidi, Carol, and many others.

But the sadness won't end for a while, and missing her will never go away. Yet the hole in my heart that she alone filled, though it will also never go away, will after a time be changed, with memories of all the wonderful times we spent together, in person and on the Forum.




Earl and Tommy send their condolences, too.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 03:47:09 PM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28115.msg1126604#msg1126604
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 23, 2008, 03:47:39 PM
Say not in grief that she is no more
but say in thankfulness that she was
A death is not the extinguishing of a light,
but the putting out of the lamp
because the dawn has come.
 
Tagore


...what beautiful words, thanks friend! Dawn is here alright... but it means new light is next.



I have got to go to bed now, not having slept many hours the past 48hours like many of us... my last post for today will quote one of our Jackie's very first posts almost exactly two years ago...:

on: January 18, 2006, 05:20:03 PM Jackie wrote:
"Hi...I decided to come out of lurkedom and register after reading the post from "killersmom".  Like her, I've read posts on this site since discovering it last fall through googling "Brokeback Mountain" and, like her, felt that I didn't have anything constructive to add.  But she is right.  Just being able to say to the world...or, at least, the important part of it that takes part in these blogs...just how important this book and movie are to me is so...freeing!  I'm a grandmother.  I have a brother and many friends who are gay, and many people in my life who just don't understand what it is about this movie that touches my heart.  It seems to me that most people want only escape from reality when they read or go to movies.  Me, too, sometimes.  But I've also looked for themes that reach my soul, that connect to the part of me that longs, that dreams, that hopes, that feels.  Brokeback Mountain answers questions for me:  sometimes loving is worth the pain..."better to have loved and lost...";  finding the one person who loves you truly is always worthwhile;  settling for less can be soul-killing.

Thank you to everyone who posts here.  Your insights...about the story...about yourselves...makes it easier for me.  I don't know if I'll post much but wanted all of you to know that I am here...and am always grateful, especially to you, Dave, for putting all of this into motion."



 :'( :-* r.i.p. dear Jackie... and thankyou for each and everyone of your 26000+ posts  :-* :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 03:47:52 PM
All three of us will be there at the gathering at Jackie's place.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 03:48:07 PM
This day is almost more than I can bear.
She called me her "elder brother".

Paul


Oh ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Paul))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:48:27 PM
((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) to you all.....

My chest is hurting,my heart feels like it will jump out any moment.....I must run upstairs and play some lovely music...start dinner and have some wine.....I'm making Chicken.....and every time Jackie would call me and say..."am I calling you at a bad time,honey?"....I would say..."No girlfriend...I'm just making some chicken titties"....Oh God...she would just laugh.....*sigh*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: WLAGuy on January 23, 2008, 03:48:53 PM
'Do not Stand at My Grave and Weep'
by Mary Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 03:49:28 PM
Oh ((((((((((((((((Paul)))))))))))))))))))

I'm glad through the sadness that you are here with us.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:49:42 PM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28115.msg1126604#msg1126604

And how fitting that her last post was to her and our special Nellie...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:50:19 PM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28115.msg1126604#msg1126604

"Mi hermana"?!?!?!....oh I feel like I will surely die.................. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: alma on January 23, 2008, 03:50:59 PM

I have got to go to bed now, not having slept many hours the past 48hours like many of us... my last post for today will quote one of our Jackie's very first posts almost exactly two years ago...:

on: January 18, 2006, 05:20:03 PM Jackie wrote:
"Hi...I decided to come out of lurkedom and register after reading the post from "killersmom".  Like her, I've read posts on this site since discovering it last fall through googling "Brokeback Mountain" and, like her, felt that I didn't have anything constructive to add.  But she is right.  Just being able to say to the world...or, at least, the important part of it that takes part in these blogs...just how important this book and movie are to me is so...freeing!  I'm a grandmother.  I have a brother and many friends who are gay, and many people in my life who just don't understand what it is about this movie that touches my heart.  It seems to me that most people want only escape from reality when they read or go to movies.  Me, too, sometimes.  But I've also looked for themes that reach my soul, that connect to the part of me that longs, that dreams, that hopes, that feels.  Brokeback Mountain answers questions for me:  sometimes loving is worth the pain..."better to have loved and lost...";  finding the one person who loves you truly is always worthwhile;  settling for less can be soul-killing.

Thank you to everyone who posts here.  Your insights...about the story...about yourselves...makes it easier for me.  I don't know if I'll post much but wanted all of you to know that I am here...and am always grateful, especially to you, Dave, for putting all of this into motion."



 :'( :-* r.i.p. dear Jackie... and thankyou for each and everyone of your 26000+ posts  :-* :'(

Thanks for posting this. I got such a kick out of her comment that she might not post very often. LOL I'll bet that would tickle her too to remember.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 03:51:23 PM
I must go now.....love to you all
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 03:51:57 PM
I must go now.....love to you all
Love you more  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 03:54:39 PM
Well....guess I need to bring up a few pictures from Bay City last February - where I was blessed, like everyone here, in meeting Jaclyn. 

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2Fbaycity18.jpg&hash=8fb44af2b98946b81d76d92cacf5ce83)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2Fbaycity17.jpg&hash=a842c268f66df52c21211ff181282829)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2Fbaycity8.jpg&hash=ce2cde0172ecef276f41101da80c185d)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2Fbaycity7.jpg&hash=28cd12408ba47038624ce2732e954166)

Some good memories here Gerry, Nellie, and Lenny - I can't forget that night with all of us and Jackie, back in the hotel room, rambling on for all hours of the night.  Those memories are even more precious as I think of her now. 

Mitchell
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 03:56:59 PM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28115.msg1126604#msg1126604
ahhhhh, dear Glenn.....that post really got me good. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 03:57:37 PM
Ok, tonight I'll arrange my flight, I guess. This all has made me so dizzy. I rejoice at the prospect of seeing those of you who can make it, but the circumstances truly could not be worse. I didn't even know she was sick until yesterday...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 23, 2008, 03:59:33 PM
Eternal peace and joy to you, dearest Jackie.  When we visited by phone just before Joanne picked you up I somehow knew it would be the last time..........you'll always be held close in my heart 'Cuzzin'.   :'(

BrokenOkie-  I LOVE your signature line! The one about the broken road... perfect..
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImEnnisShesJack on January 23, 2008, 04:01:02 PM
Hi all,

What an awful two days. I can only console myself with the thought that Heath was there to meet Jackie, and now
they're sitting there talking and laughing, and watching over all of us.

And Nellie, when you do find out about the ceremony with the ashes, do let us know. Heidi and I would love to be there for
our girlfriend Jackie.

Carol
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 04:08:35 PM
((((((((((((((((((((((Carol and Heidi)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Good to hear from you again.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 23, 2008, 04:11:52 PM
Melissa is really finding it hard at the moment to find the words to express how she feels... She gave me permission to post what she wrote in her Live Journal

For My Mama: Please rest happily and in peace.


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alloaQaaqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0n%257CRup6lQQ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C442&hash=ea603f97d34a280f7cf0efcb17667d13)

I have no words, only that I thought we had more time.

I will never forget you, Mama, never.

The world was lucky to have you if only for too short a period of time.

All my love.

Your Daughter,

Melissa

The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love

~Sarah McLaughlin "Full of Grace"
Mood:  lonely

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lolita on January 23, 2008, 04:12:44 PM
Bless you Jackie....such a special, special lady...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImEnnisShesJack on January 23, 2008, 04:17:31 PM
{{{{{{{{{{{ Fritz}}}}}}}}}}

How we missed you all. Jackie would be happy that
we are all back together.

Miss you tons, Jackie.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Ministering angel on January 23, 2008, 04:17:54 PM
Jackie, our wonderful, big-hearted lady. Look after our boy - it is what you do so well.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mario on January 23, 2008, 04:22:15 PM
so sad.....so so sad......may yu embrace Heathie where both of yu have gone.....yu will look after him and he will look after you and both of yu will look over and protect us.....Mario
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brokebackgio on January 23, 2008, 04:31:46 PM
The reason that brought me back to brokeback forum is too strong actually.
Not only was the shock about Heath's death, but the news that Jackie was dying.
I got a p.m. this morning from a friend who informed about that...

So 2 deaths relating brokeback in just 24hrs...

I never had direct contact with Jackie, but for the short period i was posting on the "affected me" thread, i remember that she was such an optimistic and positive person. She must be happy to be meeting Heath up there... 

My condolences to her family.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tambourine on January 23, 2008, 04:33:58 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about Jackie. It's a testament to how wonderful a person she was that even as a rare visitor I remember her warm and friendly posts – she sounds very special.

I do so admire the community on these boards and how deeply its members treasure each other - especially just now.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Saena on January 23, 2008, 04:38:18 PM
I heard about this yesterday, when I came on to join you all in mourning Heath's death, but didn't get a chance to post in this thread until now. I am so, so terribly sorry to hear this news. I don't think she and I talked very much, but I've seen so many pictures in the forum get-togethers threads that I recognize her by face, and she seemed like a really sweet and loving person. It is really a sad thing to have lost her.

I hope you are all hanging in there during this painful time.

(((((((((All))))))))))

Saena
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 23, 2008, 04:39:49 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frender-2.snapfish.com%2Frender2%2Fis%3DYup6aQQ%257C%253Dup6RKKt%253Axxr%253D0-qpDofRt7Pf7mrPfrj7t%253DzrRfDUX%253AeQaQxg%253Dr%253F87KR6xqpxQQJGxneQxG0Gxv8uOc5xQQQG0alGeGlJJqpfVtB%253F%2AKUp7BHSHqqy7XH6gX0QQ0a%257CRup6GGJ%257C%2Fof%3D50%2C590%2C408&hash=12f6d154919f0717803ba1a5489e8d19)

I think this may have been Jackie's first Brokeback gathering...

to my knowledge it was (and sorry if that has already been confirmed... i'm still back here on page 30)
I was there! I have the scarf on and was thinking about this very picture... THANK YOU for posting...

I was nervous about seeing the movie again and nervous about meeting everyone from the internet, something I had never done till this site. Jackie was the first person I saw waiting around the movie theatre and I just knew she was from the forum and I felt so very welcomed and at ease.  I am soooo very grateful I threw caution to the wind that day! 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 23, 2008, 04:44:19 PM
I have posted this in the Music thread, and I would like to share it here, with you


"My last contribution for today:

When You Wish Upon A Star by Cliff Edwards
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-GtMDLlGRI

Why this particular song?
It's from the Disney film Pinocchio (1940), sung by the character Jiminy Cricket, who acts as Pinocchio's conscience, in good and bad times.
Jackie once said to me, consider me your Jiminy Cricket, imagine me sitting on your shoulder, always there to stand by you.
She used to sing it to me, to comfort me.
It is our song.



Peace, my angel :-*"
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 04:45:36 PM
Yes, this picture was the first time we all got together in Tysons. Earl took the picture. The first time I met Jackie, thank God, not the last time, but never enough times to get to see her.  :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 23, 2008, 04:50:03 PM
I know that this is a really stupid question. Please forgive me.

Which Brokeback? The one in Wyoming, or the one where they filmed the movie?

THANK YOU for asking!!!  I was wondering the same thing!  ;)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 23, 2008, 04:57:16 PM

I have got to go to bed now, not having slept many hours the past 48hours like many of us... my last post for today will quote one of our Jackie's very first posts almost exactly two years ago...:

on: January 18, 2006, 05:20:03 PM Jackie wrote:
"Hi...I decided to come out of lurkedom and register after reading the post from "killersmom".  Like her, I've read posts on this site since discovering it last fall through googling "Brokeback Mountain" and, like her, felt that I didn't have anything constructive to add.  But she is right.  Just being able to say to the world...or, at least, the important part of it that takes part in these blogs...just how important this book and movie are to me is so...freeing!  I'm a grandmother.  I have a brother and many friends who are gay, and many people in my life who just don't understand what it is about this movie that touches my heart.  It seems to me that most people want only escape from reality when they read or go to movies.  Me, too, sometimes.  But I've also looked for themes that reach my soul, that connect to the part of me that longs, that dreams, that hopes, that feels.  Brokeback Mountain answers questions for me:  sometimes loving is worth the pain..."better to have loved and lost...";  finding the one person who loves you truly is always worthwhile;  settling for less can be soul-killing.

Thank you to everyone who posts here.  Your insights...about the story...about yourselves...makes it easier for me.  I don't know if I'll post much but wanted all of you to know that I am here...and am always grateful, especially to you, Dave, for putting all of this into motion."



 :'( :-* r.i.p. dear Jackie... and thankyou for each and everyone of your 26000+ posts  :-* :'(

Thanks for posting this. I got such a kick out of her comment that she might not post very often. LOL I'll bet that would tickle her too to remember.

Me too, I'm laughing hard right now, thru the tears.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 04:58:59 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2F8-18-2006-07.jpg&hash=2d236dc35880ca4f5681aeb0e3adbaf9)

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 23, 2008, 05:00:19 PM
The reason that brought me back to brokeback forum is too strong actually.
Not only was the shock about Heath's death, but the news that Jackie was dying.
I got a p.m. this morning from a friend who informed about that...

So 2 deaths relating brokeback in just 24hrs...

I never had direct contact with Jackie, but for the short period i was posting on the "affected me" thread, i remember that she was such an optimistic and positive person. She must be happy to be meeting Heath up there... 

My condolences to her family.

Gio,

Glad you were able to add your condolences.

hugs

Dan
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 05:00:35 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2F17b80de3.jpg&hash=6dc75508443c3bfdcedaf37c550228d9)
What a couple.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 05:01:26 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2F889b8213.jpg&hash=44114c8f50ecc663b549f51dde583f43)
always a smile........

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 05:02:16 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FDSC00350.jpg&hash=d2fb0db5d7347c788435a6db5db1500d)

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 23, 2008, 05:04:23 PM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28115.msg1126604#msg1126604

Thanks BOkie and also for your pictures. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 05:04:30 PM
She was a friend of mine
She was a friend of mine
Every time I think about her now
Lord I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause she was a friend of mine

She died on the road
She died on the road
She never had enough money
To pay her room or board
And she was a friend of mine

I stole away and cried
I stole away and cried
'Cause I never had too much money
And I never been quite satisfied
And she was a friend of mine

She never done no wrong
She never done no wrong
A thousand miles from home
And she never harmed no one
And she was a friend of mine

She was a friend of mine
She was a friend of mine
Every time I hear her name
Lord I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause she was a friend of mine.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FTerryJackie.jpg&hash=3f7c2415defbd5b5a3e022ae3bef796f)
Marc, thanks so much for this pic.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 23, 2008, 05:06:09 PM
I'VE HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED
TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE
BUT I KNOW I'M WHO I AM TODAY
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT
AS IT PASSES A SUN
LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD … 

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2FJackieBayCity1.jpg&hash=e2ca781a3c26773eadaa9ee66d50c819)

IT WELL MAY BE
THAT WE WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN
IN THIS LIFETIME
SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE PART
SO MUCH OF ME
IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
YOU'LL BE WITH ME
LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART
AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END
I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE
BY BEING MY FRIEND...

LIKE A SHIP BLOWN FROM ITS MOORING
BY A WIND OFF THE SEA
LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A SKYBIRD
IN A DISTANT WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER
AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.


This is a beautiful song about friendship written by Stephen Schwartz
from the Broadway Musical 'Wicked.'
Please check it out here
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=05jdB1tGE_g&feature=related


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: elskov on January 23, 2008, 05:09:14 PM
Dear Jackie,

When I went to my first Brokeback gathering, feeling shy and uncertain, I saw your lovely face and felt welcomed. I wish that I hadn't put it off when you and I last spoke of getting together again. I thank you for your warmth and love and for all that you gave me and so many other people.

I will miss you, Jackie.

Elskov
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 05:16:25 PM
I know that this is a really stupid question. Please forgive me.

Which Brokeback? The one in Wyoming, or the one where they filmed the movie?

THANK YOU for asking!!!  I was wondering the same thing!  ;)

Wyoming, most likely...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 05:21:17 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FTerryJackie.jpg&hash=3f7c2415defbd5b5a3e022ae3bef796f)
Marc, thanks so much for this pic.

terry

Terry, I remember when she visited you so well.....she was soooo excited to see you.....she picked up that phone and had to tell me what a great time she had,a beautiful home you have,and what a gentle soul you are...she loved you so much.....you were one of her favorites,darling....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 05:24:33 PM
Last Thanksgiving weekend at Jackie's apartment.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi48.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff211%2Fkillersmom%2FDC-Thanksgiving016.jpg&hash=82d54999eeae6f453f1bf88d7d7ad6d3)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 23, 2008, 05:24:37 PM
((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) to you all.....

My chest is hurting,my heart feels like it will jump out any moment.....I must run upstairs and play some lovely music...start dinner and have some wine.....I'm making Chicken.....and every time Jackie would call me and say..."am I calling you at a bad time,honey?"....I would say..."No girlfriend...I'm just making some chicken titties"....Oh God...she would just laugh.....*sigh*

and now we laugh with you through our tears at "chicken titties!" too!   :D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 05:25:40 PM
Such a wonderful time and a great meal.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi48.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff211%2Fkillersmom%2FDC-Thanksgiving017.jpg&hash=8c5003f958863872a245c06aa97d9131)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 23, 2008, 05:25:58 PM
((((((((((((( Carol )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( Heidi ))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Tammy)))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 05:29:06 PM
Jackie skyping with Jari.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi48.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff211%2Fkillersmom%2FDC-Thanksgiving020.jpg&hash=3294dc52a108edd1bcbfab27e2577ce9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 05:29:49 PM
Terry, I remember when she visited you so well.....she was soooo excited to see you.....she picked up that phone and had to tell me what a great time she had,a beautiful home you have,and what a gentle soul you are...she loved you so much.....you were one of her favorites,darling....

Ah, thanks for that Nells.  It was a good hour or two, spent with Jackie and Marc.  And - we all were her favorites......and she, ours.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 23, 2008, 05:35:31 PM
Dear Jackie,

When I went to my first Brokeback gathering, feeling shy and uncertain, I saw your lovely face and felt welcomed. I wish that I hadn't put it off when you and I last spoke of getting together again. I thank you for your warmth and love and for all that you gave me and so many other people.

I will miss you, Jackie.

Elskov

Hi Elskov,
I was at that gathering and remember you well... We sat next to each other... through the sadness, I am glad we've reconnected again here.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 05:35:32 PM
((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) to you all.....

My chest is hurting,my heart feels like it will jump out any moment.....I must run upstairs and play some lovely music...start dinner and have some wine.....I'm making Chicken.....and every time Jackie would call me and say..."am I calling you at a bad time,honey?"....I would say..."No girlfriend...I'm just making some chicken titties"....Oh God...she would just laugh.....*sigh*

and now we laugh with you through our tears at "chicken titties!" too!   :D

Que viva los chicken titties!!!!!!!....made pasta with this and just realized I drank all the fucken wine.....what would Jackie say?......"oh honey,do you have some grape juice?"....she's said that to me once before....ha ha...*sigh*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 05:38:17 PM
Has anyone been in touch with, or able to contact Paul (MeJack)... I know that he and Jackie were very close....

No... I was thinking about him and most likely he doesn't know.
he seems to want to put the forum behind him, but i will be surprised if he doesn't find a way to be here.

hello paul, if you are watching...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 23, 2008, 05:39:05 PM
((((((((((((((((((((((Carol and Heidi)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Good to hear from you again.



That it would take such a tragedy as this to reuinite us all is a travesty in itself. 

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Fritz))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

shame on all of us.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 05:41:00 PM
It still hasn't sunk in......keep thinking she's going to pop in here any moment. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 05:42:38 PM
even i have to believe that she is seeing all this hooplah and loving it, probably with a handsome young man or 3 by her side
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 23, 2008, 05:45:01 PM

Ah, thanks for that Nells.  It was a good hour or two, spent with Jackie and Marc.  And - we all were her favorites......and she, ours.

terry

that is so true, Terry!!

she made each of us feel special.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nikki on January 23, 2008, 05:49:30 PM



I never met Jackie, but knew her from her posts. I want to dedicate the following to her.  I included it in the program of the Mass of Christian Burial for my late husband. 


Death is not all
I have only slipped away into the next room
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way you always use to.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes
We enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be the household word it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was;
There is absolutely unbroken continluity.

Why should I be out of your mind because
I am out of your sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval,
Somewhere very near just around the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is past, nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before...
Only better, infinitely happier and forever...
We will be one together in Christ.


Together
Carmelite Monastery
Tallow, County Waterford
Ireland

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Passion on January 23, 2008, 05:49:31 PM
I am so happy that so many of you have really great pictures of Jackie.  It has helped me feel like I have met her. Her smile will always be with me.  She and I started posting at about the same time so I always felt a kinship with her. She always had the right words for any situation and helped me feel comfortable posting myself.  Funny that she didn't think she would post much but suddenly she became so involved she forgot her initial insecurities.  I will miss her. 

I am also glad that Melissa allowed her Livejournel post to be reprinted here for us--thanks Zudos for being part of that.  I have been worried about Melissa because when I met her in Vegas---Jackie was her main support person and I know how much Melissa needed that.   I hope that she is holding up through this very difficult time----please give her my best.

I still feel like all of this is not real.  I am so glad that we all have this place to come grieve together.
Love to everyone!
April
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: campfire on January 23, 2008, 05:49:31 PM
Dear All,

Greetings from Melbourne, Australia

Just wanted to share few words with you.

I have never met with Jackie but I know her art , contribution to our book  and her beautiful smiley face from forums.
I did not know she was ill .

My thoughts and prayers with Jackie's family.

Campfire
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 05:53:07 PM

Ah, thanks for that Nells.  It was a good hour or two, spent with Jackie and Marc.  And - we all were her favorites......and she, ours.

terry

that is so true, Terry!!

she made each of us feel special.


so true, yes...you are sooo right....*sigh*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 05:55:05 PM
I was upstairs wondering why the kids were so quiet....they know about Jackie and each one of them gave me hugh hugs and allowed me to cry on their shoulders.....and when I looked up in my room...I saw this....my little girl drew this for me

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FChicago%25202007%2Fchicago2007028-1.jpg&hash=9011dbf90f08e4e6b5b8920cc99c83c1)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 05:57:41 PM
Jackie's and I's first meeting with Brad and Steve, Carol and Heidi, and Rob and Nick.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi48.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff211%2Fkillersmom%2FBradStevetrip090.jpg&hash=199170a6622635257170bef718577a90)

Hi Heidi. :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mariska on January 23, 2008, 06:00:10 PM
I was not around much to know Jackie well, but she welcomed me warmly on the Impact threads when I first got there last year, and many times since I would come across her hospitable and motherly messages to newbies and oldies alike. It was so easy to see what a wonderful and caring person she was. My thoughts and prayers now are with Jackie's family and her many friends. May she rest in peace. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: janiceinla on January 23, 2008, 06:00:46 PM
Rest in peace dearest Jackie.  You will be missed.  You are loved.

Janice
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 23, 2008, 06:02:21 PM
Jackie's and I's first meeting with Brad and Steve, Carol and Heidi, and Rob and Nick.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi48.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff211%2Fkillersmom%2FBradStevetrip090.jpg&hash=199170a6622635257170bef718577a90)

Hi Heidi. :-*

Hi Linda.  :-*

She was the surprise mystery guest more than once, wasn't she?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 06:04:11 PM
In Bay City...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity066.jpg&hash=1f121b7529cc8b021079ce56060a4dd5)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 06:05:58 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity059.jpg&hash=0a4a1707c1c6d09f08f72715f1adaa85)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 06:06:11 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity056.jpg&hash=48c8d5392a2d079d9475a6dff475dada)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 06:06:43 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity054.jpg&hash=9e787f4339457aa4121ab141f00bb312)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 06:07:27 PM
I remember when the suprise visit was being planned.  Linda and Heidi, you all were going to be at Brad and Steve's for the holiday and he and I got to talking about the possibility of Jackie coming also.  You guys had a good time.  I think this pic is from that wknd....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FBradJackie.jpg&hash=a28790486b998f746fa78c35b90e7d3e)

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 06:08:25 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity054.jpg&hash=9e787f4339457aa4121ab141f00bb312)

ah Nells, you're killing me...............

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 06:10:03 PM
After we all got drunk in Bay City...Jackie was bragging about how she can make a knot out of cherry stems...it was hilarious and SHE DID IT!!!

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity053.jpg&hash=f98d3b5ce405416e8333def1d597cf66)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity071.jpg&hash=398d671d2078a0c53b51b4113bb4827f)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 23, 2008, 06:10:34 PM
Mystery guest ... hahah! I will never forget the look on her face when she saw me in the flesh for the first time in Auntie's backyard.  It is a moment I will never forget. It will be the only time I saw her - that weekend. 
I remember IMing with her this last summer, telling her of the drama of my life - divorce and all. She'd stop and type, "That's it, honey! I am calling you!" and not 10 seconds later, my cell phone would be ringing!  hahaha! 

Special memories cherished forever . . . .
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: janiceinla on January 23, 2008, 06:11:29 PM
(((((Nellie,)))))

Thanks for the wonderful pictures.  Thank you for everything you've done. 

Janice
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 06:12:53 PM
I was upstairs wondering why the kids were so quiet....they know about Jackie and each one of them gave me hugh hugs and allowed me to cry on their shoulders.....and when I looked up in my room...I saw this....my little girl drew this for me

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FChicago%25202007%2Fchicago2007028-1.jpg&hash=9011dbf90f08e4e6b5b8920cc99c83c1)

Oh Nellie, now I've lost it again, but it's a good reason to lose it.

Hugs back to your kids.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 06:14:28 PM
Hi Linda.  :-*

She was the surprise mystery guest more than once, wasn't she?

Yes she was Heidi, and loved it!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 23, 2008, 06:14:44 PM
A reminder about lighting a candle.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=bbm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 23, 2008, 06:16:10 PM
I remember when the suprise visit was being planned.  Linda and Heidi, you all were going to be at Brad and Steve's for the holiday and he and I got to talking about the possibility of Jackie coming also.  You guys had a good time.  I think this pic is from that wknd....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FBradJackie.jpg&hash=a28790486b998f746fa78c35b90e7d3e)

terry

Yes Terry we had a wonderful time and Jackie just loved it. It was so fantastic that she was there.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: whiplash on January 23, 2008, 06:17:07 PM
So sorry to hear about our sweet Jackie. 

But I can't help but grin, thinking of her being greeted in heaven by Heath Ledger.  Damn, I can just see the look on her face.

All my love and prayers to Jackie and her family.

Lydia
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jay63 on January 23, 2008, 06:17:47 PM
Yes,  Sweet Jackie - You did have a way of making everyone feel like your favorite - and it was SO genuine.   
We are all gathered 'round the camp fire again,  and amazed to see how many lives you touched in the span of two short years. 
Thank you for that.

Thank you for welcoming me to this Forum when I finally worked up the nerve to join the chorus.

Thank you for your advice on how to post photos ( sorry my Dear,  still can't figure it out)

Thank you for sharing your treasury of props from Our Favorite Movie at get togethers.
What a great thrill to wear Ennis's jacket & hat with the Rocky Mountains as our backdrop!

And thank you for driving a considerable distance to visit my exhibition this past September in PA - so proud to have you there!
I am so sorry you will not be able to attend my exhibition in Baltimore as you had planned next month.   
I will think of you then,  and whenever I'm here around the fire.

Rest in Peace
love,
Jay
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 06:22:44 PM
Mystery guest ... hahah! I will never forget the look on her face when she saw me in the flesh for the first time in Auntie's backyard.  It is a moment I will never forget. It will be the only time I saw her - that weekend.... 

Heh.  Nick, I remember that moment very well.  Wayne and I were standing with Jackie, and she was seated on the patio back steps.  Wayne knew you were coming and when you walked in, he told Jackie to 'go over there and meet that guy who just walked in.'  Jackie, looking puzzled and all, kept asking, 'who is it, who is that?'  Wayne kept on coaxing her to get up and meet you.  It was very sweet.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lolita on January 23, 2008, 06:26:34 PM
Thank you all for the stories about Jackie - although I only knew her in PM's and never got to see her in person - the pictures and little stories of her life are just so wonderful...damn... :'( :'( :'( :'( What an amazing soul...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: PennQuaker on January 23, 2008, 06:27:34 PM
DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee   
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,   
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,   
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.   
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,            
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,   
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,   
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.   
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,   
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,    
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,   
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;   
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,   
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

 :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 23, 2008, 06:34:00 PM
Heh.  Nick, I remember that moment very well.  Wayne and I were standing with Jackie, and she was seated on the patio back steps.  Wayne knew you were coming and when you walked in, he told Jackie to 'go over there and meet that guy who just walked in.'  Jackie, looking puzzled and all, kept asking, 'who is it, who is that?'  Wayne kept on coaxing her to get up and meet you.  It was very sweet.

That's right, Terry! Wayne told me about that later!  Jackie later that night told me that she didn't even want to entertain the idea that I would be there - that it only made her cry to think that I wouldn't be. "It's you - it's really you" is all she could say.  hahah! 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Thunder88 on January 23, 2008, 06:34:23 PM
So sorry to hear about our sweet Jackie. 

But I can't help but grin, thinking of her being greeted in heaven by Heath Ledger.  Damn, I can just see the look on her face.

All my love and prayers to Jackie and her family.

Lydia

Lydia,

I was thinking the exact same thing....lol.

Ahh, Jackie. You two take care of each other.

Terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Mejack on January 23, 2008, 06:37:02 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FDSC00350.jpg&hash=d2fb0db5d7347c788435a6db5db1500d)

terry

Terry, I never saw this pix before. Tthanks for posting it.
It was our first meeting, face to face.
We drank margaritas.
And hugged.

Paul

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gb-dc on January 23, 2008, 06:38:14 PM
Sharyn, Elskov, Fritz, CellarDweller and others from the Washington, DC area,

I've started a thread over in the DC get-togethers in "Meet Your Neighbors" for those who would like to go to Jackie's on Saturday. Might be nice if we could coordinate and pay our respects together.

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=9035.405

FWIW

goaboydc

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 06:39:33 PM

Terry, I never saw this pix before. Tthanks for posting it.
It was our first meeting, face to face.
We drank margaritas.
And hugged.

Paul
ah, paul... seems i just got telling someone i couldn't imagine you not showing up .

welcome back, stranger  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Mejack on January 23, 2008, 06:39:44 PM
Has anyone been in touch with, or able to contact Paul (MeJack)... I know that he and Jackie were very close....

No... I was thinking about him and most likely he doesn't know.
he seems to want to put the forum behind him, but i will be surprised if he doesn't find a way to be here.

hello paul, if you are watching...

Yeah, Jack, I'm here.
((hugs)) to all.

Paul
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 23, 2008, 06:42:38 PM
thank you for surfacing paul.  the giant family reunion just would not be complete without you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 23, 2008, 06:43:02 PM
Hello Paul! Good to see you!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: MaineGirl on January 23, 2008, 06:43:20 PM
I have had a vision all evening of Jackie and Heath together in the stars, the Dozy Embrace, and it is Jackie that is holding Heath.........

Rest in peace, dear Jackie, though I never had the privilege of meeting you face to face.  Your PM's I still hold dear to my heart, and the light that you brought to this world and this forum will never be forgotten.

You are missed.......... 

My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and your friends tonight.

Sue
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 06:44:34 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F%5BIMG%5Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1173_2.jpg&hash=156f4b28ef859f3cf0dd93d3cbb3b1d1)/img(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1173_2.jpg&hash=c493a58f9a1d6b9ea5e1e4b2ac1bb69b)

Jackie took me to the National Museum of Art in DC.  She showed me the exact spot where she saw Terry standing there to meet her for the first time.   David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 06:45:38 PM

Ah, thanks for that Nells.  It was a good hour or two, spent with Jackie and Marc.  And - we all were her favorites......and she, ours.

terry

that is so true, Terry!!

she made each of us feel special.

That she did.....the gift of her unselfishness has left its mark on us all.  When I stop to think of the little things she'd did - I can spy a handful of items in my living room directly from her...Brokeback reunion postcards, a copy of Beyond Brokeback she wanted me to have, the DVD of Forever Blue that she sent for me to watch when I casually mentioned I hadn't seen it (with her usual sweet note attached, asking that I return it after I'd watched it severa times - (now what to do with it) :(    Not to mention the little pep talks she'd give........always ready.  A difficult life transition - there's Jackie, ready to say just the right thing.....making you dust yourself off and move forward.   :)

Yet - she never asked for anything in return, just the gift of friends.  Why we love you so, Jaclyn.....you hopeless romantic. :)  And none to worry Maryland - you had a huge hand in my current state of affairs, and I intend to see it through.   So keep an eye out for us.   :-*

I posted this picture the other day of her and I........some may recognize it - it's what she had for her latest avatar.  She would tell me how much she loved this picture because all you had to do was look at her face to see how happy she was because of who she was hugging - well, I know that ALL her brokeback friends and family made her smile that much and feel that way.  But, as said previously, she had a way to make each of us feel special.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2Fjackiemitch4.jpg&hash=de112eb50ef5427717d40b4b051c7dc4)

So yes, we all lost a very dear, special person today, but, I know we all gained an angel.  Rest in peace, beloved Jaclyn. 

Mitchell 

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly prercious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shead a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light


 

 




Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 06:45:43 PM
Terry, I never saw this pix before. Tthanks for posting it.
It was our first meeting, face to face.
We drank margaritas.
And hugged.

Paul

Hey Paul.  It's been so long.  way too long.  I've wondered about you over the months and have wished good things for you.

I love this picture of the two of you....a perfect snapshot of the wonderful wknd.  What a special moment, your first meeting with Jackie face to face.  I have one taken from our first meeting too.  It's cherished.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 06:48:24 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F%5BIMG%5Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1173_2.jpg&hash=156f4b28ef859f3cf0dd93d3cbb3b1d1)/img(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1173_2.jpg&hash=c493a58f9a1d6b9ea5e1e4b2ac1bb69b)

Jackie took me to the National Museum of Art in DC.  She showed me the exact spot where she saw Terry standing there to meet her for the first time.   David

Man, David.  That is precisely the spot.

I do pretty well most of the time with her leaving, but this.......ah, got me good.  Thanks very much for it.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 06:48:32 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F%5BIMG%5Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FDowntown2.jpg&hash=ff0eea646565935b5c893f4adaebd22e)/img(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FDowntown2.jpg&hash=4f3ca4ff009ea8149a49e15d19a53c07)

Then we went walking around the Mall.  It was a Saturday and the anniversary weekend of the BBQ in San Antonio.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 06:49:47 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity054.jpg&hash=9e787f4339457aa4121ab141f00bb312)
Nells....thanks for this picture - so, so much.  Brought a fresh batch of watery eyes, but I didn't have this one.  Thank you. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 06:52:27 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F%5BIMG%5Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1173_2.jpg&hash=156f4b28ef859f3cf0dd93d3cbb3b1d1)/img(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1173_2.jpg&hash=c493a58f9a1d6b9ea5e1e4b2ac1bb69b)

Jackie took me to the National Museum of Art in DC.  She showed me the exact spot where she saw Terry standing there to meet her for the first time.   David

Man, David.  That is precisely the spot.

I do pretty well most of the time with her leaving, but this.......ah, got me good.  Thanks very much for it.

terry



She said she recognized you immediately and the moment you saw each other you both knew that you would be friends forever.

David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 06:53:27 PM
Dang...that latest few pages of pictures really hit me. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 06:54:30 PM
((((Mitchell))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 06:55:29 PM
I remember when the suprise visit was being planned.  Linda and Heidi, you all were going to be at Brad and Steve's for the holiday and he and I got to talking about the possibility of Jackie coming also.  You guys had a good time.  I think this pic is from that wknd....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FBradJackie.jpg&hash=a28790486b998f746fa78c35b90e7d3e)

terry
T - that's a wonderful picture.  I'm sure Brad will like that one...if he doesn't have it already.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 23, 2008, 07:00:37 PM
She said she recognized you immediately and the moment you saw each other you both knew that you would be friends forever.

David

And so we will.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 23, 2008, 07:03:44 PM

Hey strangers... :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 23, 2008, 07:04:43 PM
Blue eyes!  ;)  How are you holding up?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 23, 2008, 07:06:34 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FDSC00350.jpg&hash=d2fb0db5d7347c788435a6db5db1500d)

terry

Terry, I never saw this pix before. Tthanks for posting it.
It was our first meeting, face to face.
We drank margaritas.
And hugged.

Paul



Paul,
Good to see you here with us this evening,
David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 07:19:07 PM
Sharyn, Elskov, Fritz, CellarDweller and others from the Washington, DC area,

I've started a thread over in the DC get-togethers in "Meet Your Neighbors" for those who would like to go to Jackie's on Saturday. Might be nice if we could coordinate and pay our respects together.

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=9035.405

FWIW

goaboydc



Thanks, Joe!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 07:23:59 PM
(((((((((((((((((Paul)))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((Terry))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((Mitch))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((Dave)))))))))))))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 23, 2008, 07:25:13 PM
(((((((((((((Paul!!!!)))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: MarkC on January 23, 2008, 07:27:57 PM
Et puis Jackie est morte........

Les premiers mois après mon visionnement de BBM ont été très intenses et cette intensité, je la vivais surtout sur ce forum, parfois à écrire, mais surtout à lire, à chercher les mots d'autres personnes qui vivait ce que je vivais, qui me laissait perplexe.

Évidemment, Jackie y était, très présente par son accueil aux nouveaux arrivants, par son appuie, ses conseils, et son empathie sans limites envers les autres.

J'estime que la mort de Heath Ledger est triste, même si je ne le connaissais pas bien ou personnellement.

Mais avec Jackie, je suis attristé par la mort de quelqu'un que j'ai l'impression d'avoir connue, de la mort de quelqu'un qui a fait partie d'un des moments les plus intenses de ma vie.

Au revoir,

Marc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImEnnisShesJack on January 23, 2008, 07:31:23 PM
I remember when the suprise visit was being planned.  Linda and Heidi, you all were going to be at Brad and Steve's for the holiday and he and I got to talking about the possibility of Jackie coming also.  You guys had a good time.  I think this pic is from that wknd....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FBradJackie.jpg&hash=a28790486b998f746fa78c35b90e7d3e)

terry

What a great time that was. I had logged on in the morning and seen a picture of the gang at Brad's and almost screamed, "JACKIE'S THERE!" and they all admonished me b'c it was supposed to be a surprise. I never said anything to Heidi though, and there was Jackie to surprise her when we pulled up...and yes, Heidi cried. LOL.
I love remembering the good times, and that is how I will always remember all of you.
Carol
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 23, 2008, 07:32:07 PM
((((((((((((((((((Marc)))))))))))))))))))

Elle était vraiment une grande dame.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovelyamazing on January 23, 2008, 07:52:17 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi103.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm132%2Flovelyamazing%2F3h.jpg&hash=37d4aa9a9776a21e0e7ce3dae5681eb8)

((((((((((((((Jackie))))))))))

It will be like this, just like this always
 :-* :'( :-* :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caroline on January 23, 2008, 07:53:58 PM
Hello everyone,
it is so great to read about all the wonderful moments that you all shared with Jackie. I remember, unable to be at the first BBM get together at Linda's in San Antonio, that Jackie was the first to answer my call on the computer.. remember that the forum was set up in live action and it was Jackie who so lovingly acknowledged me on the live feed and proceeded to grab people as they went by to say hi to me. She was always SO supportive of everyone and made me always feel singularily special. How wonderful she was. I am so devastated by this  and with Heath. Wow, what a gathering we are seeing on this forum. From people like me, who months and mo\nths ago went on our way, only to find ourselves being drawn back . WOw...

My heartfelt condolences to Jackie's family and to her dearest friends that she obviously found here as a result of this forum. I cherish the opportunity to read all that has happened to you through the months and years as a result of her influence. Wow, even if I had not been personally affected by this lovely lady, I would have been saddened to no end to not have had contact with her based on the love I am reading and the pictures that show that love in what I have seen here.  It is very obvious to me, that this lovely lady was truly the epitome of friendship, support and love and certainly someone who could serve as a role model to all of us on what it means to love unconditionally. God's Grace on all of you... and for Jackie as well. There is an angel, tonight in heaven to watch over all of you....

with heartfelt thanks to you all, and with a prayer on the wing to heaven.....

caroline

(ancient mod)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jlm1 on January 23, 2008, 07:54:20 PM
Jackie is gone. It's hard to believe.

I first knew her because she was a volunteer member of the editorial team when I signed on as senior editor of the book project. She was a joy to work with--completely committed, always ready to find ways to overcome obstacles, totally devoted to making our book the best it could be.

We met for the first time on Labor Day weekend in 2006 in DC. I couldn't believe anybody could be so wonderfully loving and welcoming and beautiful. (She was only the second Forum person I'd met at that stage.)

When, just a week or so later, I went into a profound and terrifying personal crisis, she was there for me every day, pouring out love and support. There is no way I could ever have repaid her for such lovingkindness. She was the kind of person you never expect to encounter, but bless the powers that be when you do.

For a couple of years she was a pillar of my life: I knew that she just enveloped me in her love and that meant that I could go on and do what I needed to do.

Now she is gone. I have such a hard time accepting that someone who was so full of life is no more. She was a very special person, one of the few people I've ever known who was a genuine saint. I love you, Jackie, and I am certain that God has welcomed you into His Kingdom, which you so personified on earth.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 23, 2008, 07:59:07 PM
Maureen sends her love and condolences from Bay City to everyone here and to Jackie's family. Like a lot of people she is at a loss for words right now. She will try to write more soon.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovey882288 on January 23, 2008, 08:37:12 PM
Hello---I came here to mourn Heath Ledger and stumbled on to the posts about Jackie.  Sorry I missed her.....I feel the loss without even meeting her.  I mentioned in the messages to Matilda Memorial Project what about a book for Jackie's loved ones?  Even though I have not had a chance to read everything.....I could be here for days, weeks, even months doing so, I would bet that her posts and the postings from friends would be a real treasure to her family.  I hope I am not butting in at an inappropriate way. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: wyomen on January 23, 2008, 08:55:14 PM
Jackie............no one will ever fill your shoes...........

If you want to go to Brokenback, I will make sure that you make it............

I Swear...............
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: kelterdai on January 23, 2008, 08:56:42 PM
I haven't been on this forum in such a long time, and when I heard about Heath, I came back here.  Jackie was one of the first members I wanted to PM and say "Hey, remember me?" and to find this happening...it's just very sad. I can't say anymore. It's just almost indescribable and surreal. Jackie will be missed by so many people. I know that she is now in a better place looking down upon us all.  Jackie, we know you are finally resting in peace; everyone misses you down here."  :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 09:00:55 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity054.jpg&hash=9e787f4339457aa4121ab141f00bb312)
Nells....thanks for this picture - so, so much.  Brought a fresh batch of watery eyes, but I didn't have this one.  Thank you. 

you are so very welcome...I had to bring this picture back up a page or two...it is one of my favorites of you guys and I'll always remember Jackie saying to me one day on the phone...."Nellie,you all make me so very happy,these guys in here,look at my face,see how happy I look?..this is how I really feel"......*sigh*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 09:11:36 PM
I love you all so much, and I didn't realize how much I've missed you all until I'm sitting here just... remembering how much you all mean to me. Nellie, your daughter is an angel. Mitch, all your words are really touching. I miss you much. I'm so happy to see everyone here, Carol & Heidi, Jonathon, so many people whose voices and names and thoughts mean so much to me. This place is amazing. Thank you Jackie, for everything you gave it.

I can just imagine Jackie arriving in heaven, and seeing Heath there, her jaw dropping, her head going back in surprise, her hand flying to her heart, "Oh, honey, what are you doing here?"

I felt for a while tonight like I shouldn't come to Maryland, like I didn't know her as well as some, but then I remembered how my tendency to hide from people who would willingly draw me in with love used to frustrate her. That made me smile to remember. She would roll her eyes at me and grab me by the elbow and drag me there, I know. I can't yet find a flight I can afford, but I'll be calling a travel agent in the morning to see if they can do better.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 09:17:54 PM
((((((((((((((((((((((((( Jess )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Get your ass to Maryland...I'm going to try to be there....I've been going back and forth with this....should I go to Maryland? or go to Wyoming?...can't do both....Maryland is so soon....3 days to get this shit together....but I feel like I need to be with her family.... :-\
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 23, 2008, 09:20:39 PM
I want to share an email I received tonight:

____________________________________

My darling John,

 First I heard about Heath, then I went to the forum [where I hadn't lurked for so long] and read about Jackie. I wish I could give you hugs right now. I know how much she meant to you and everyone on the forum. I even feel like I knew her from her posts and at this moment have a huge lump in my throat.

I am sending prayers and hugs to you and to Jackie's family and all her friends on the forum.

I read what you posted about having your ashes spread over Brokeback Mountain  and how Jackie's ashes will be spread there and all I could think of was, I don't ever want John to die but if he ever does then that's where he belongs. I wish I could somehow help ease your pain and sorrow right now. Just know that I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers.


Love, Barb

----------------------------------------------------
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 09:22:20 PM
Thank you John,for this.....thank Barb for us :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: qwerty on January 23, 2008, 09:22:21 PM
I am Paula's sister, and I heard the news of Jackie's passing today, probably around the time most of you learned of it.  The first time I met Jackie she was in my parents' kitchen.  She was introduced to me as the mother of the man my sister was to marry.  I remember I was taken by Jackie's incredible intelligence, compassion, openness and honesty.  She was well-read and could converse knowledgeably on virtually any subject.  I am lucky to have known her, and wish I had the opportunity to have known her better.  Paula always spoke so highly of her, and owes her happy home and wonderful marriage to Jackie's raising her husband, a terrific man and a great husband and father.  Jackie welcomed Paula into her family with open arms and did until the day she died.  As a final note, the friends she met in this forum truly changed her life.  She looked forward to your online chats, your activities, and your face to face meetings.  I hope she meets Heath in heaven and they strike up a great friendship.  Thank you all for your support, your caring, and your friendship with Jackie when she needed it most. -- LLL
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Passion on January 23, 2008, 09:25:04 PM
Thank you LLL for coming here.  We all appreciate your words more than you could ever know.  May love and peace be with your family during this most difficult time.
April
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 23, 2008, 09:25:50 PM
I am Paula's sister, and I heard the news of Jackie's passing today, probably around the time most of you learned of it.  The first time I met Jackie she was in my parents' kitchen.  She was introduced to me as the mother of the man my sister was to marry.  I remember I was taken by Jackie's incredible intelligence, compassion, openness and honesty.  She was well-read and could converse knowledgeably on virtually any subject.  I am lucky to have known her, and wish I had the opportunity to have known her better.  Paula always spoke so highly of her, and owes her happy home and wonderful marriage to Jackie's raising her husband, a terrific man and a great husband and father.  Jackie welcomed Paula into her family with open arms and did until the day she died.  As a final note, the friends she met in this forum truly changed her life.  She looked forward to your online chats, your activities, and your face to face meetings.  I hope she meets Heath in heaven and they strike up a great friendship.  Thank you all for your support, your caring, and your friendship with Jackie when she needed it most. -- LLL

OMGosh....thank you SO MUCH for this post....you know we loved our Jackie so so very much...it has left such a tremendous impact,her loss.....i'm just lost for words right now..

(((hugs))) to you

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sharyn on January 23, 2008, 09:31:53 PM
I am Paula's sister, and I heard the news of Jackie's passing today, probably around the time most of you learned of it.  The first time I met Jackie she was in my parents' kitchen.  She was introduced to me as the mother of the man my sister was to marry.  I remember I was taken by Jackie's incredible intelligence, compassion, openness and honesty.  She was well-read and could converse knowledgeably on virtually any subject.  I am lucky to have known her, and wish I had the opportunity to have known her better.  Paula always spoke so highly of her, and owes her happy home and wonderful marriage to Jackie's raising her husband, a terrific man and a great husband and father.  Jackie welcomed Paula into her family with open arms and did until the day she died.  As a final note, the friends she met in this forum truly changed her life.  She looked forward to your online chats, your activities, and your face to face meetings.  I hope she meets Heath in heaven and they strike up a great friendship.  Thank you all for your support, your caring, and your friendship with Jackie when she needed it most. -- LLL

The pleasure was all ours!!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Passion on January 23, 2008, 09:38:04 PM
You all have so many pictures of Jackie that I imagine her family would love to have copies of them.  I am not sure who has access to them all but it might be nice for someone to collect the images in full resolution to give to the family.  Just an idea.  I am just so impressed with all the GREAT pictures you all have of her and I know if I was a family member I would want copies.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 09:39:35 PM
You all have so many pictures of Jackie that I imagine her family would love to have copies of them.  I am not sure who has access to them all but it might be nice for someone to collect the images in full resolution to give to the family.  Just an idea.  I am just so impressed with all the GREAT pictures you all have of her and I know if I was a family member I would want copies.

I think that is a fantastic idea April!  I'm sure someone somewhere can arrange it!

Sal     :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 23, 2008, 09:40:28 PM
I am Paula's sister, and I heard the news of Jackie's passing today, probably around the time most of you learned of it.  The first time I met Jackie she was in my parents' kitchen.  She was introduced to me as the mother of the man my sister was to marry.  I remember I was taken by Jackie's incredible intelligence, compassion, openness and honesty.  She was well-read and could converse knowledgeably on virtually any subject.  I am lucky to have known her, and wish I had the opportunity to have known her better.  Paula always spoke so highly of her, and owes her happy home and wonderful marriage to Jackie's raising her husband, a terrific man and a great husband and father.  Jackie welcomed Paula into her family with open arms and did until the day she died.  As a final note, the friends she met in this forum truly changed her life.  She looked forward to your online chats, your activities, and your face to face meetings.  I hope she meets Heath in heaven and they strike up a great friendship.  Thank you all for your support, your caring, and your friendship with Jackie when she needed it most. -- LLL

Hi qwerty, and welcome.  Jackie was one in a billion and blessed us all with her support, her caring and her friendship through thick and thin.   Being around her, either here on the forum or at an event was a joyful priviledge.
Glenn
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Passion on January 23, 2008, 09:43:01 PM
Sal     :-*
Hugs to you Sal.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 23, 2008, 09:52:49 PM
I am Paula's sister, and I heard the news of Jackie's passing today, probably around the time most of you learned of it.  The first time I met Jackie she was in my parents' kitchen.  She was introduced to me as the mother of the man my sister was to marry.  I remember I was taken by Jackie's incredible intelligence, compassion, openness and honesty.  She was well-read and could converse knowledgeably on virtually any subject.  I am lucky to have known her, and wish I had the opportunity to have known her better.  Paula always spoke so highly of her, and owes her happy home and wonderful marriage to Jackie's raising her husband, a terrific man and a great husband and father.  Jackie welcomed Paula into her family with open arms and did until the day she died.  As a final note, the friends she met in this forum truly changed her life.  She looked forward to your online chats, your activities, and your face to face meetings.  I hope she meets Heath in heaven and they strike up a great friendship.  Thank you all for your support, your caring, and your friendship with Jackie when she needed it most. -- LLL

Hi qwerty, and welcome.  Jackie was one in a billion and blessed us all with her support, her caring and her friendship through thick and thin.   Being around her, either here on the forum or at an event was a joyful priviledge.
Glenn

Glenn, I wholeheartedly agree. I was trying to find the words, but you found them for me

Thank you

Sal      :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 09:56:26 PM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*


Army did get her. Army of angels.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 23, 2008, 10:02:22 PM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*


Army did get her. Army of angels.

You
bet.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 23, 2008, 10:35:16 PM
I found this note a few minutes ago...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff70%2FRobinpuyallup%2FJackiesletter.jpg&hash=e12a264d0ef76b4d8a494ddbd746e424)

...it was enclosed in a package Jackie sent me last September. In it were the best oatmeal raisin and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I've ever had. Jackie baked them.

Thank you Big Sis, for giving me a bit of your heart, for taking a bit of mine with you, home.

I love you Jackie...

Your Little Bro,
Rob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sfericsf on January 23, 2008, 10:42:36 PM
I arrived in San Francisco early this morning.  It was cold and rainy and depressing.  I heard the bad news about Jackie for the first time from Michael.  I had never met Jackie in RL, but have exchanged many warm PMs with her.  She is a very special person to all of us.

Coming down the hill on the 22-Fillmore bus, I looked toward the Bay.  There was a little sliver of sunshine breaking through the clouds, creating a huge rainbow over the Bay.  It was for Jackie.

Jim


 :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 10:44:34 PM
(((((((Nellie)))))))  I'm going to leave this to worry about in the morning and just try and trust and pray tonight that I'll find a flight I can afford. My sweet husband is trying to convince me that I can afford ANY flight, but I know our balances as well as he does. And my wonderful mother already said she would pick me up at the airport, take care of me, even come to the event with me if that's what I need-- anything.

Like I said, I pray that tomorrow God will lead me to the right web page or travel agent and the right flight, and I do have faith in that, because it simply HAS to happen. I can't even imagine traveling right now-- I feel so drained, everything takes so much effort, but worse I can't imagine not being there.

This tragic event has brought me closer to God than I ever imagined something could. I just need to know someone is in control of something...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sfericsf on January 23, 2008, 10:48:47 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe321%2FBrad3816%2FmysweetsisJackie1.jpg&hash=39ad98612b6e8b194a78f2acaeddc1fa)

Never without a smile


I will miss you so much Jackie.   :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 23, 2008, 11:00:22 PM
There is now way that I can make it to Maryland... and it breaks my heart that I can not.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sfericsf on January 23, 2008, 11:01:34 PM
My heart is just breaking.  One pleasant thought is that one of the first people Jackie will see as she enters heaven is another new comer, Heath Ledger.  Can you imagine the surprise and joy.  I have a feeling that Heath was well aware of this forum and that he may have even been aware of Jackie.  At any rate, I have a feeling that they will share some wonderful moments and think of us as we are thinking of them.  God bless them both.  


Amen to that.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sfericsf on January 23, 2008, 11:06:29 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FBay%2520City%2520Event-2007%2FHPIM4397.jpg&hash=1eac6ca5d7354733d2321281c928d4dd)

Oh boy.  Me and Jackie together.  Here it comes again.   :'(  :'(  :'(

Rest In Peace Jackie.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 11:19:13 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn279%2Fspacegal471%2FPersonal%2FSlashBash2007013.jpg&hash=992e35876b09fffe1d2695d157479fde)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 11:19:49 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn279%2Fspacegal471%2FPersonal%2FSlashBash2007110.jpg&hash=dd1e5d2d6c75e12c7071155a69d1fe9e)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 23, 2008, 11:26:59 PM
(((((((Nellie)))))))  I'm going to leave this to worry about in the morning and just try and trust and pray tonight that I'll find a flight I can afford.

Keep trying Jess -- sometimes the fares become very affordable just before the flight if they haven't filled up.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 23, 2008, 11:38:48 PM
Thanks, Monica! In the end if I can't find a cheap flight I'll probably just spend imaginary money on an expensive one.This isn't a new pair of shoes or eating dinner out-- so credit card debt be damned, right? And it would be very comforting to see my mom right now as well. As Lola would say, I'm being sookie, wanting my mommy, even if she doesn't understand. I called her to ask if she thought I should come down for this, and she said no, and I immediately started bawling, so then she said yes. That was the first I'd cried for Jackie, too. My said she initially said no because I have no one to be there for-- Jackie's family doesn't need me. But that's not true, we're also her family, and we all need each other, and the truth is I need to see some of you guys or I feel like I'm going to crawl right out of my skin. I tried to tell her I have no one here, no one who knows her, and I just want to even just exist in the same room with someone who is hurting for the same reason I am hurting. I think it's why we all found each other in the first place, why we all met, to know that we were feeling the same pain. As Jari would say, we could finally speak the same language, we had the same base to compare things to. And now again I think we find ourselves in that situation.

Oh sorry, I'm babbling. I do that sometimes :/
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 24, 2008, 12:51:03 AM
I am Paula's sister, and I heard the news of Jackie's passing today, probably around the time most of you learned of it.  The first time I met Jackie she was in my parents' kitchen.  She was introduced to me as the mother of the man my sister was to marry.  I remember I was taken by Jackie's incredible intelligence, compassion, openness and honesty.  She was well-read and could converse knowledgeably on virtually any subject.  I am lucky to have known her, and wish I had the opportunity to have known her better.  Paula always spoke so highly of her, and owes her happy home and wonderful marriage to Jackie's raising her husband, a terrific man and a great husband and father.  Jackie welcomed Paula into her family with open arms and did until the day she died.  As a final note, the friends she met in this forum truly changed her life.  She looked forward to your online chats, your activities, and your face to face meetings.  I hope she meets Heath in heaven and they strike up a great friendship.  Thank you all for your support, your caring, and your friendship with Jackie when she needed it most. -- LLL

Thank you so much for coming here and posting this.  I'm sending much love to you and your family at this terrible time.

With warm regards,
Marleen
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 24, 2008, 01:05:53 AM
Well, folks - it has been roughly 24 hours since our sweet Jackie passed.  I could not sit and do nothing tonight. So, I created a video montage of all the pictures that have been shared today - and a few of my own. I was hoping no one would object to my using their pictures. 
It will be done processing soon. Once it is, I will post a link so all can share in looking back at all the people and places Jackie touched.

Love and hugs to you all right now . . . .

Nick
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 24, 2008, 01:17:42 AM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dahlia on January 24, 2008, 01:28:07 AM
Thank you so much, Nick
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 24, 2008, 01:40:22 AM
After W.H. Auden's Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message She is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

She was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.


This is beautiful beyond belief.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Miaisland on January 24, 2008, 01:42:11 AM
It is still very hard to find words.

My thoughts are with Jackies family and closest friends

with love.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 24, 2008, 01:42:31 AM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

The tears have come yet again, but what a beautiful gift for Jackie and for us.

Thank you Nick.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 24, 2008, 01:44:31 AM
It is still very hard to find words.

My thoughts are with Jackies family and closest friends

with love.

I think they will always be hard ((((((((((Mia))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 24, 2008, 01:44:48 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M
This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

Heartbreakingly wonderful. Merci beaucoup.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sid401k on January 24, 2008, 01:48:57 AM
For what (very little) it's worth, a few congratulatory images I posted for Jackie, back when we were both active in the slash threads:

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh98%2FSid401k%2FcongratsJackie.jpg&hash=e0ce75b45411c742af96c9afa3bd56b4)  (https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh98%2FSid401k%2Fcelebrate%2FCongratsJackie3.jpg&hash=50604b58cf2d7bbde91b8c07f84b4b2a)  (https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh98%2FSid401k%2Fcelebrate%2FCongratsJackie2.jpg&hash=f28723024f7f8bd747eb8c1e624907dd)

The first reminds me how how much she contributed to the forum. Twelve thousand posts.  That was back in October of 2006. I just checked her profile, and she was up to over 26,000. Over 35 posts a day. For two years.

The second was for her birthday the next month. It makes me smile because of her quirky "paintedshoes" forum name.

The third was just a month after the first, when she had added yet another 1,000 posts to her record. (The Latin translates to "Behold thirteen thousand.) We had learned--on the PhotoCap thread, of all places!--that we shared an interest in choral works.

We finally met in person at the Chicago Slash Bash in October 2006. I had taken a room at a nearby cheap motel, and I offered to share (partly out of camaraderie and partly out of economy). Dean (Amdaz), whom I had met a few months earlier, took me up on my offer and asked if I would be interested in a third. It seemed that Jackie had originally thought that she couldn't make it to the bash (to the disappointment of many), but now thought she might manage after all. But it was to be a secret. And unlike many secrets, this one actually remained secret until she showed up. Everyone was astounded and delighted that she had come after all. She was a cheerful and considerate motel-mate, and I was really touched when she brought out a gift for each of us. Dean got a book, and to me she gave CD of John Rutter. I have it here at my desk, and it reminds me of her it so many different ways: her thoughfulness and generosity, of course, but the bright yellow and orange cover also reminds me of her warmth and cheer, and the title: "Gloria" (a hymn of praise) seems so approprate just now.

 I wish I had known her better. I wish we all could have known her longer.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 24, 2008, 01:52:40 AM

Don't know if this has been quoted already, but these were Jackie's very last lines on the Forum,
posted on January 4, barely 20 days ago:

"Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't..."

As if she knew - and on the other hand, so innocently sweet and beautiful.

These three little sentences break our hearts.


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brian on January 24, 2008, 02:09:52 AM
That is beautiful Nick, Thank you
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sweety02 on January 24, 2008, 02:16:18 AM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

Thank you Nick for the beautiful present!

Although I never met either Jackie or anyone of you, I feel so sorry she leaved us!

Laura
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rei-gyoku on January 24, 2008, 02:43:53 AM
Sweet Jackie,

We were going to overcome our time zones someday.
We were going to be in a picture together someday.
We were going to see each other in the eyes and say,
 "You look just the way you sounded on Skype and what I have been imagining!!"
We were going to....
We were going to....

Where do I go now?

It snowed here very quietly all day while I thought about you.
Today, a beautiful clear perfect day for your departure.
Yes, to Wyoming.  Someday I'll meet you there, I promise.

love,
Reiko


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 24, 2008, 03:01:15 AM
Jackie's last post.......

Bye for now, mi hermana!   :-*

Now, I must head out, as well.  I might come back...if the army don't...

Hugs around the Diner.   :-*


Army did get her. Army of angels.

 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: davideo321 on January 24, 2008, 03:07:08 AM
Nothing but love to all of those who loved Jackie which would be pretty much everyone she ever encountered, whether briefly or throughout her lifetime. Candles lit and prayers extended. A truly beautiful soul.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 24, 2008, 03:11:56 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2FTerryJackie.jpg&hash=3f7c2415defbd5b5a3e022ae3bef796f)
Marc, thanks so much for this pic.

terry

You are so welcome, my man... I will never forget that day.

Marc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 24, 2008, 03:17:48 AM
I was upstairs wondering why the kids were so quiet....they know about Jackie and each one of them gave me hugh hugs and allowed me to cry on their shoulders.....and when I looked up in my room...I saw this....my little girl drew this for me

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FChicago%25202007%2Fchicago2007028-1.jpg&hash=9011dbf90f08e4e6b5b8920cc99c83c1)

Oh Nellie...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 24, 2008, 03:24:25 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff376%2Fmcnell1120%2FBay%2520City%25202007%2FBayCity054.jpg&hash=9e787f4339457aa4121ab141f00bb312)

God I love this picture...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nax on January 24, 2008, 03:56:01 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)







Hugs around the diner
Tears around the world
For love and friendship freely given
And kindnesses untold.

A legacy of laughter
A thing we cannot lose
We are richer far for knowing you
Darling Jackie, Paintedshoes




Love always
N.
XXX









(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2FJackie.jpg&hash=c88ed487bc56b4ccaef29b4311ea6ab8)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bradINblue on January 24, 2008, 04:33:41 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)







Hugs around the diner
Tears around the world
For love and friendship freely given
And kindnesses untold.

A legacy of laughter
A thing we cannot lose
We are richer far for knowing you
Darling Jackie, Paintedshoes




Love always
N.
XXX









(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2FJackie.jpg&hash=c88ed487bc56b4ccaef29b4311ea6ab8)


Neil, good form. Thanks.

I can't help but appreciate that every pic of our sweet Jackie is that of a radiant smile. Thing is, that smile isn't about Jackie. That smile is about us.  Why do every single one of us feel this way about Jackie? It is because, for her, it is all about us and not her. Course, in the end, it is really about her. A compliment beyond comprehension.
Jackie once said to me (in a very private one-on-one special time on my back deck), her biggest fear in life was that nobody knew she existed. No one cared to hear her. She thought, perhaps, people looked at her and moved on or didn't care to see her. I told her she was the bright light for all of us. She was the glue that held us together. She ment so much to us and her family, how could she think anything less of her. She paused, took a big draw on the cigarette, looked at me, and asked, "do you think so"?  I said one word, "Absolutley".
Now I know I am right. Ya'll are my 'backup'. More importantly, our sweet Jackie knows. Thanks firends.

Brad
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 24, 2008, 04:35:58 AM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

thanks so much nick!!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 04:37:38 AM
Mystery guest ... hahah! I will never forget the look on her face when she saw me in the flesh for the first time in Auntie's backyard.  It is a moment I will never forget. It will be the only time I saw her - that weekend.... 

Heh.  Nick, I remember that moment very well.  Wayne and I were standing with Jackie, and she was seated on the patio back steps.  Wayne knew you were coming and when you walked in, he told Jackie to 'go over there and meet that guy who just walked in.'  Jackie, looking puzzled and all, kept asking, 'who is it, who is that?'  Wayne kept on coaxing her to get up and meet you.  It was very sweet.

terry

Thanks for the memory Terry... I had forgotten that :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: graylockV on January 24, 2008, 04:37:57 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)






Hugs around the diner
Tears around the world
For love and friendship freely given
And kindnesses untold.

A legacy of laughter
A thing we cannot lose
We are richer far for knowing you
Darling Jackie, Paintedshoes




Love always
N.
XXX









(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2FJackie.jpg&hash=c88ed487bc56b4ccaef29b4311ea6ab8)


Thanks for this tribute N. - she would be so pleased.

Sorry---don't mean to offend....but I'm thinkin' I'm just going to get rip-roarin' drunk.

So long, Jackie.  It's been good to know ya.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Flyboy on January 24, 2008, 04:40:31 AM
You are so right, Brad. For me, Jackie was the Earth Mother of this Forum.............no other way for me to see her. Now, I have to believe she is our Heavenly Mother, watching after us, nudging us to be a better person, to be like her and reach out to  touch others in that positve, caring way she had. I can only hope to have just a speck of her radiant influence on the lives of others...............Jonn
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 04:44:20 AM
I am Paula's sister, and I heard the news of Jackie's passing today, probably around the time most of you learned of it.  The first time I met Jackie she was in my parents' kitchen.  She was introduced to me as the mother of the man my sister was to marry.  I remember I was taken by Jackie's incredible intelligence, compassion, openness and honesty.  She was well-read and could converse knowledgeably on virtually any subject.  I am lucky to have known her, and wish I had the opportunity to have known her better.  Paula always spoke so highly of her, and owes her happy home and wonderful marriage to Jackie's raising her husband, a terrific man and a great husband and father.  Jackie welcomed Paula into her family with open arms and did until the day she died.  As a final note, the friends she met in this forum truly changed her life.  She looked forward to your online chats, your activities, and your face to face meetings.  I hope she meets Heath in heaven and they strike up a great friendship.  Thank you all for your support, your caring, and your friendship with Jackie when she needed it most. -- LLL
Thank you for this... You can see from all the comments that Jackie was very special to us all...  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 24, 2008, 04:46:29 AM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.


this is so beautiful, nick, thank you !

i have a question: does anybody have a movie piece with jackie speaking ? i'm so afraid of forgettig how her voice sounds. it's all i have, because i never was lucky enough to meet her in person. this year in oxford, it would finally have happened. it's the one big regret i have...never having been able to hold and hug her.

i'd be immensely grateful if i could have a movie clip with her voice....thank you !
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 04:49:46 AM
I can't help but appreciate that every pic of our sweet Jackie is that of a radiant smile. Thing is, that smile isn't about Jackie. That smile is about us.  Why do every single one of us feel this way about Jackie? It is because, for her, it is all about us and not her. Course, in the end, it is really about her. A compliment beyond comprehension.
Jackie once said to me (in a very private one-on-one special time on my back deck), her biggest fear in life was that nobody knew she existed. No one cared to hear her. She thought, perhaps, people looked at her and moved on or didn't care to see her. I told her she was the bright light for all of us. She was the glue that held us together. She ment so much to us and her family, how could she think anything less of her. She paused, took a big draw on the cigarette, looked at me, and asked, "do you think so"?  I said one word, "Absolutley".
Now I know I am right. Ya'll are my 'backup'. More importantly, our sweet Jackie knows. Thanks firends.

Brad

This is amazing Brad.... Thank you and so so true :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 04:50:22 AM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

thanks so much nick!!

Great tribute Nick...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 04:52:16 AM
i have a question: does anybody have a movie piece with jackie speaking ? i'm so afraid of forgettig how her voice sounds. it's all i have, because i never was lucky enough to meet her in person. this year in oxford, it would finally have happened. it's the one big regret i have...never having been able to hold and hug her.

i'd be immensely grateful if i could have a movie clip with her voice....thank you !

I am not sure Martina.... Was she not speaking in either of the BBQ video's?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 24, 2008, 04:54:13 AM
i have a question: does anybody have a movie piece with jackie speaking ? i'm so afraid of forgettig how her voice sounds. it's all i have, because i never was lucky enough to meet her in person. this year in oxford, it would finally have happened. it's the one big regret i have...never having been able to hold and hug her.

i'd be immensely grateful if i could have a movie clip with her voice....thank you !

I am not sure Martina.... Was she not speaking in either of the BBQ video's?

that might be...i'll have to check them....but i'm not sure i'm up to watching them right now.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 24, 2008, 05:08:05 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)







Hugs around the diner
Tears around the world
For love and friendship freely given
And kindnesses untold.

A legacy of laughter
A thing we cannot lose
We are richer far for knowing you
Darling Jackie, Paintedshoes




Love always
N.
XXX









(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2FJackie.jpg&hash=c88ed487bc56b4ccaef29b4311ea6ab8)


NEILCHOU THIS IS PRECIOUS

THANK YOU

 :-*  :-*  :'(  :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 24, 2008, 05:09:26 AM

Yeah Martina I agree... her voice... so tender and so intense... unforgettable.
Would love to be able to hear it again, though it might bring back fresh pain.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 05:15:29 AM
Meeting everyone at the San Antonio BBQ was an amazing experience...

I stayed at the Holiday Inn, where all the LA posse were too (Philip/Sparky/Dan/Scott/Lynn), and honoury members Jan and Ellen...

After the Friday evening Dan, who had a suite, invited us back to his room where we all sat chatted and I got to know the LA posse and they me... They absolutely LOVED Jackie, or as they said THE PAINTED SHOES... They had long chatted about her wonderful posts and love that she spread around the forum... I told them that when I arrived in he states I had stayed with Jackie, and they immediately asked me all kinds of details, 'Describe the Painted Shoes Home' 'What does the Painted Shoes eat for breakfast' etc etc... They had adored her from afar...

The mischevious side of me, of course told Jackie that some of the group idolised her, and that she should go and make a speech to them...!!!!

She looked at me in that confused way, and said 'Honey you must be joking...Me????' - I told her that the posse adored her and everything she stood for on the forum... She asked 'But what will I say' - I told her just to be herself...

You could literally see her pulling herself together as she went over to the posse who were gathered together...

I know this was very special to Jackie to have a group of people that talked about her, and appreciated her, people that she did not really know... just from what she wrote...

Hence, I quite often referred to her in he diner as 'THE HALLOWED PAINTED SHOES...'         

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 24, 2008, 05:17:48 AM
i have a question: does anybody have a movie piece with jackie speaking ? i'm so afraid of forgettig how her voice sounds. it's all i have, because i never was lucky enough to meet her in person. this year in oxford, it would finally have happened. it's the one big regret i have...never having been able to hold and hug her.

i'd be immensely grateful if i could have a movie clip with her voice....thank you !

I am not sure Martina.... Was she not speaking in either of the BBQ video's?

she is in the video i made! right at the beginning the first morning i woke up and she,linda and me sat on the stairs in the back yard. talking to me and after i filmed her,she`s filming me.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 05:21:00 AM
One of my first experiences with Jackie, was early 2006, and Nick had not been in the forum for a few days, and Jackie was one of the people really worried to make sure he was OK...

She knew I was in the UK and PM'ed me, to try and find out if Nick was OK, and whether I had his number/address etc...

And followed this by saying that she could be on a plane in the morning if there was something wrong...

Amazing woman... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 24, 2008, 05:32:59 AM

Remember she offered me more than the half of her entire sig line space
so that I could just put my numerous nicknames in?

She then called it ING's SPACE.
She just stepped aside on her own page, so to speak, to give me more space.

So generous! And to come up spontaenously with such an idea.
I was (and am) overwhelmed by her.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 24, 2008, 06:06:29 AM
One of my first experiences with Jackie, was early 2006, and Nick had not been in the forum for a few days, and Jackie was one of the people really worried to make sure he was OK...

She knew I was in the UK and PM'ed me, to try and find out if Nick was OK, and whether I had his number/address etc...

And followed this by saying that she could be on a plane in the morning if there was something wrong...

Amazing woman... :-*

I remember that well.

I was not having a good time at all in RL, and had posted an unintentionally distressing and dark email about how I was feeling and then disappeared from the forum for a day or so. Jackie was desperately worried as were several others.

Jackie and I drank to friendship at the Texas BBQ specifically toasting that event as evidence.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CANSTANDIT on January 24, 2008, 06:37:17 AM
http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=26918.msg1154926#msg1154926


Look at reply #2377-done by Twist and Shout

I hope it brings comfort and maybe even a smile...... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nadine on January 24, 2008, 06:38:44 AM
I just read the tragic news. So Jackie will get to meet her Ennis after all. Although I didn't know Jackie "off-board" so to speak,I am beyond sad at her passing,leaving a hole in so many lives so soon after we lost Heath. They're going to have so much to talk about in Heaven! Rest in peace,beautiful people both.
My prayers and heartfelt condolences to Jackie's lovely,generous family and friends.
My love to all of you,
Nadine xx
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 24, 2008, 06:45:19 AM
http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=26918.msg1154926#msg1154926


Look at reply #2377-done by Twist and Shout

I hope it brings comfort and maybe even a smile...... :-*

Damn  :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: quithammerin on January 24, 2008, 06:54:11 AM
yes, damn.

I just looked at the candle-lighting site, and the "bbm" group has 44 candles from 5 countries, and there's a "heath" group with 188 candles.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=bbm

Not that I've got anything in particular to say, just wanted to be with you folks for a bit before I go out into my day.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 24, 2008, 07:39:49 AM
http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=26918.msg1154926#msg1154926


Look at reply #2377-done by Twist and Shout

I hope it brings comfort and maybe even a smile...... :-*

Damn  :'(

You said it.  :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 24, 2008, 07:42:52 AM
http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=26918.msg1154926#msg1154926


Look at reply #2377-done by Twist and Shout

I hope it brings comfort and maybe even a smile...... :-*

Damn  :'(

 :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ingmarnicebbmt on January 24, 2008, 07:44:38 AM

Just saw it too. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 24, 2008, 08:08:00 AM









I can't help but appreciate that every pic of our sweet Jackie is that of a radiant smile. Thing is, that smile isn't about Jackie. That smile is about us.  Why do every single one of us feel this way about Jackie? It is because, for her, it is all about us and not her. Course, in the end, it is really about her. A compliment beyond comprehension.
Jackie once said to me (in a very private one-on-one special time on my back deck), her biggest fear in life was that nobody knew she existed. No one cared to hear her. She thought, perhaps, people looked at her and moved on or didn't care to see her. I told her she was the bright light for all of us. She was the glue that held us together. She ment so much to us and her family, how could she think anything less of her. She paused, took a big draw on the cigarette, looked at me, and asked, "do you think so"?  I said one word, "Absolutley".
Now I know I am right. Ya'll are my 'backup'. More importantly, our sweet Jackie knows. Thanks firends.

Brad

Thank you, bro.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 24, 2008, 08:20:15 AM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

Nick, this is so beautiful, Jackie must be beaming!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 24, 2008, 08:22:20 AM
I stayed at the Holiday Inn, where all the LA posse were too (Philip/Sparky/Dan/Scott/Lynn), and honoury members Jan and Ellen...
Hence, I quite often referred to her in he diner as 'THE HALLOWED PAINTED SHOES...'         

Haha! Wayne, I remember that night so well! The way those guys spoke of her . . . you'd think they were talking about the Virgin Mary herself!  Haha!  A priceless memory.

I haven't seen much of the posse here except for Phillip and Jan - - I hope everyone there in LA is doing alright . . . .
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 24, 2008, 08:29:03 AM
I stayed at the Holiday Inn, where all the LA posse were too (Philip/Sparky/Dan/Scott/Lynn), and honoury members Jan and Ellen...
Hence, I quite often referred to her in he diner as 'THE HALLOWED PAINTED SHOES...'         

Haha! Wayne, I remember that night so well! The way those guys spoke of her . . . you'd think they were talking about the Virgin Mary herself!  Haha!  A priceless memory.

I haven't seen much of the posse here except for Phillip and Jan - - I hope everyone there in LA is doing alright . . . .

Sunspot has been here, and Welles, I think, WLAguy Joe...

"hallowed Painted Shoes".... I remember that too. I had to check waht "hallowed" meant
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: no_se on January 24, 2008, 09:32:38 AM
I'm Jenny, former au pair of Paula. When I got the news that Heath Ledger died I first thought 'gosh, hopefully Jackie will not find out about it because she has to struggle already enough at the moment'.... That day in the afternoon I received an e-mail from Paula, that Jackie died... It really gave me goose bumps because I know how much she loved and lived this movie and everything and everyone about it.
I had to watch the movie with her, too and I wasn't allowed to ask any question during the movie :) 'you'll see honey' was the answer to everything I asked to understand what the movie is about etc ( as you will notice I'm not a real  english speaker I'm from Germany... )

I even met one of you at Paula's house. I think it was Zudos... But I don't know if he remembers me.

I just wanted you to know that her passion about the movie, the forum and all the people she got to know ther even reached Germany and I'm glad that I got to know her and I'm glad that all of you made her happy and she made you happy as well!

hugs from overseas
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 24, 2008, 09:33:24 AM
Oh ok, cool, Jari - thanks for letting me know.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 24, 2008, 09:45:43 AM
I love you all so much, and I didn't realize how much I've missed you all until I'm sitting here just... remembering how much you all mean to me. Nellie, your daughter is an angel. Mitch, all your words are really touching. I miss you much. I'm so happy to see everyone here, Carol & Heidi, Jonathon, so many people whose voices and names and thoughts mean so much to me. This place is amazing. Thank you Jackie, for everything you gave it.

I can just imagine Jackie arriving in heaven, and seeing Heath there, her jaw dropping, her head going back in surprise, her hand flying to her heart, "Oh, honey, what are you doing here?"

I felt for a while tonight like I shouldn't come to Maryland, like I didn't know her as well as some, but then I remembered how my tendency to hide from people who would willingly draw me in with love used to frustrate her. That made me smile to remember. She would roll her eyes at me and grab me by the elbow and drag me there, I know. I can't yet find a flight I can afford, but I'll be calling a travel agent in the morning to see if they can do better.
Jess....good to see and hear from you again, even under the difficult circumstances.  I hope you're able to make it to Maryland, if possible.  I thought about driving down Friday night, but I have responsibilities on Saturday I cannot escape.  I'll be there in spirit of course.   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 24, 2008, 09:50:23 AM

For Jackie, with love....


'TIL THEN

Goodbye
Is a word we promised not to say
I will have to find another way
It implies we'll never laugh and play as we did everyday,
But oh,
I know that we will
I won't say goodbye

Farewell
Is too final to be apropo
And it doesn't say I miss you so
That I long to see your smiling face everytime, every place that I go
As I keep up with life's endless chase
I can't say farewell

Someday
When we've all found our shelter from the storm
When we've all found a haven safe and warm
Then I know time will find us
Together again

"'Til then"
Is a phrase that keeps your memory green
It anticipates some future scene
Where we once again will share the joy that you bring
Dear sweet friend, we will sing, we will dance
We will have a new chance
So I'll wait 'til then

Someday
When my sadness has finally ended
We will be as the good Lord intended
Faithful to my song and back where we belong
Together
'Til then, 'til then
We'll be together again
'Til then, 'til then
I'll wait forever and then
'Til then, 'til then
We'll be together again...

   
                                                                                                                                                                     ---Trish Sisson Soulen
                                                                                         



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 24, 2008, 10:00:04 AM
I'm Jenny, former au pair of Paula. When I got the news that Heath Ledger died I first thought 'gosh, hopefully Jackie will not find out about it because she has to struggle already enough at the moment'.... That day in the afternoon I received an e-mail from Paula, that Jackie died... It really gave me goose bumps because I know how much she loved and lived this movie and everything and everyone about it.
I had to watch the movie with her, too and I wasn't allowed to ask any question during the movie :) 'you'll see honey' was the answer to everything I asked to understand what the movie is about etc ( as you will notice I'm not a real  english speaker I'm from Germany... )

I even met one of you at Paula's house. I think it was Zudos... But I don't know if he remembers me.

I just wanted you to know that her passion about the movie, the forum and all the people she got to know ther even reached Germany and I'm glad that I got to know her and I'm glad that all of you made her happy and she made you happy as well!

hugs from overseas

Thank you for coming!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 24, 2008, 10:04:32 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)







Hugs around the diner
Tears around the world
For love and friendship freely given
And kindnesses untold.

A legacy of laughter
A thing we cannot lose
We are richer far for knowing you
Darling Jackie, Paintedshoes




Love always
N.
XXX









(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2FJackie.jpg&hash=c88ed487bc56b4ccaef29b4311ea6ab8)


Oh Neil............... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(...so beautiful
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brian on January 24, 2008, 10:21:02 AM
yes, damn.

I just looked at the candle-lighting site, and the "bbm" group has 44 candles from 5 countries, and there's a "heath" group with 188 candles.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=bbm

Not that I've got anything in particular to say, just wanted to be with you folks for a bit before I go out into my day.


There is at least another one from Australia. i did not know about the group when I lit it.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jer009 on January 24, 2008, 10:29:59 AM
I didn't know Jackie, but I responded to her once about her sig line, "Well, I won't." It's a line from my hero, Jack Twist, and it's such a positive, defiant statement. I don't recall her exact reply, but she was very gracious.

What a terrible week! Losing Heath and Jackie both. Sigh.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 24, 2008, 10:45:47 AM
I'm Jenny, former au pair of Paula. When I got the news that Heath Ledger died I first thought 'gosh, hopefully Jackie will not find out about it because she has to struggle already enough at the moment'.... That day in the afternoon I received an e-mail from Paula, that Jackie died... It really gave me goose bumps because I know how much she loved and lived this movie and everything and everyone about it.
I had to watch the movie with her, too and I wasn't allowed to ask any question during the movie :) 'you'll see honey' was the answer to everything I asked to understand what the movie is about etc ( as you will notice I'm not a real  english speaker I'm from Germany... )

I even met one of you at Paula's house. I think it was Zudos... But I don't know if he remembers me.

I just wanted you to know that her passion about the movie, the forum and all the people she got to know ther even reached Germany and I'm glad that I got to know her and I'm glad that all of you made her happy and she made you happy as well!

hugs from overseas

Hey Jenny... How wonderful to see you here... As I started reading your post, I thought I wonder if that is the Jenny that I met briefly at Paula and Marks place...

As I remember you had some visitors from Germany and I think you were heading out swimming...

Its amazing how many lives Jackie touched...

The time I spent with her in Washington and New York was fantastic...

I hope you enjoy reading all the tributes to Jackie here....

Wayne
X
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brokebacktom on January 24, 2008, 10:56:56 AM
I miss her smile.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gavern on January 24, 2008, 11:04:21 AM
Jackie, you were the first to welcome me to this great forum, for that I am grateful, very grateful. I know you are at peace in the beautiful Universe somewhere in the mass of gigantic galaxies and billions of stars, places that us back here on earth can't even conceptualize. You are a warm and loving soul, I will miss you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Saena on January 24, 2008, 11:09:00 AM
One day later, and the news is probably setting in for most of us. I think Jackie would be very happy to see us all here, together.

Saena
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: LauraGigs on January 24, 2008, 11:10:42 AM
[this may sounds cornball, but it's my only comforting thought in this awful week]


Some have mentioned Heath needing a 'mama' in the afterworld, which makes sense as both his and Jackie's loving earthly families are still with us.

They died on the full moon.  Maybe they met around a nice campfire . . .
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gavern on January 24, 2008, 11:15:58 AM
[this may sounds cornball, but it's my only comforting thought in this awful week]


Some have mentioned Heath needing a 'mama' in the afterworld, which makes sense as both his and Jackie's loving earthly families are still with us.

They died on the full moon.  Maybe they met around a nice campfire . . .

I absolutely agree, what a wonderful thought, you are probably right!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Meryl on January 24, 2008, 11:23:58 AM
Dear Jackie, I just heard yesterday.  Didn't know you were even ill.  Little darlin', please give Heath a hug from me.  I know you're in company with him.  How could it be otherwise?

I loved meeting you in NY last July and I had hopes of seeing you again at one of our gatherings.  Here's a memory of that time, til we meet again.  :-*

Much love,
Meryl

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi66.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh269%2Fmerylmarie%2FBBMLinesVisualized%2FBrokieBrunch%2FMeeooowwwPaintedShoesJul07.jpg&hash=0b5a71ae62119cbd9fed1a62d616714b)

Meeooowww, Jackie, Meryl

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi66.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh269%2Fmerylmarie%2FBBMLinesVisualized%2FBrokieBrunch%2FNYCGatheringJul07.jpg&hash=cfc535cb2b332aba80d2e89da2eb67f4)

Chuck, Randman, Desperadum, Meeooowww, Zudos, Jackie, Meryl
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 24, 2008, 11:38:30 AM
yesterday i was driving and thinking of jackie and then saw this,stopped the car and took this pic with my cell

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv627%2Fsifra%2Ffotos%2FFoto078.jpg&hash=9e6a2be4b4811804c6faaaf25ac1869c)

today i got good news about a new apartment and then this afternoon at the beach i knew jackie was there being happy with me!! knowing how much i needed another house.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv627%2Fsifra%2Ffotos%2FFoto079.jpg&hash=fd686ae4e94031267838ab4b1ea882cd)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 24, 2008, 11:40:23 AM
I woke up this morning, and my first thought was, "why doesn't it hurt less?" I called my mom first. She says that I should be happy Jackie is in a good place. No matter how many times I say that, it doesn't really hurt less.

I've also decided not to come to Maryland. My depression really has me at the moment, and getting off the couch is a bit of a monumental effort. The idea of carrying a suitcase through an airport-- it just sounds impossible to me right now. I'm so sorry, I just can't do it. My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of you, her RL family and her forum family.

Do we have an address of where to send a card? Could we send it to Jackie's apartment?

I'm wearing my "Love is a Force of Nature" bracelet today, in honor of Jackie. I miss her so much  :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 24, 2008, 11:47:43 AM
I woke up this morning, and my first thought was, "why doesn't it hurt less?" I called my mom first. She says that I should be happy Jackie is in a good place. No matter how many times I say that, it doesn't really hurt less.

I've also decided not to come to Maryland. My depression really has me at the moment, and getting off the couch is a bit of a monumental effort. The idea of carrying a suitcase through an airport-- it just sounds impossible to me right now. I'm so sorry, I just can't do it. My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of you, her RL family and her forum family.

Do we have an address of where to send a card? Could we send it to Jackie's apartment?

I'm wearing my "Love is a Force of Nature" bracelet today, in honor of Jackie. I miss her so much  :'(
I so understand (((Jess))). Even though I'm filled up with medication, it still hurts SO much, both mentally and physically.
It's going to take some time, dear... allow yourself that time.

Marc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 24, 2008, 12:13:02 PM
yesterday i was driving and thinking of jackie and then saw this,stopped the car and took this pic with my cell

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv627%2Fsifra%2Ffotos%2FFoto078.jpg&hash=9e6a2be4b4811804c6faaaf25ac1869c)

today i got good news about a new apartment and then this afternoon at the beach i knew jackie was there being happy with me!! knowing how much i needed another house.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv627%2Fsifra%2Ffotos%2FFoto079.jpg&hash=fd686ae4e94031267838ab4b1ea882cd)



hope in the middle of sadness....beautiful pictures, and great news, conny !
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 24, 2008, 12:28:13 PM
This is a video of one of the early posts by our beloved Jari (Boris)

Rodney, Trish and I put this together last year as part of a larger video that we showed in Bay City on Oscar Night.

Jari's words help explain what this forum, and especially Heath, have meant to me. When Jari says 'Brokeback hit us directly in the heart', for me anyway, it was Heath Ledger that hit my heart.

I just wanted to share it again today for anyone who may not have seen it yet.

The voice is RodneyWy. Some of the B&W illustrations are by ChrisFewa, art that he created for our book.

This was also Jackie's favorite post from the forum.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=k3t7INA8P4o
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sunspot on January 24, 2008, 12:33:31 PM
Meeting everyone at the San Antonio BBQ was an amazing experience...

I stayed at the Holiday Inn, where all the LA posse were too (Philip/Sparky/Dan/Scott/Lynn), and honoury members Jan and Ellen...

After the Friday evening Dan, who had a suite, invited us back to his room where we all sat chatted and I got to know the LA posse and they me... They absolutely LOVED Jackie, or as they said THE PAINTED SHOES... They had long chatted about her wonderful posts and love that she spread around the forum... I told them that when I arrived in he states I had stayed with Jackie, and they immediately asked me all kinds of details, 'Describe the Painted Shoes Home' 'What does the Painted Shoes eat for breakfast' etc etc... They had adored her from afar...

The mischevious side of me, of course told Jackie that some of the group idolised her, and that she should go and make a speech to them...!!!!

She looked at me in that confused way, and said 'Honey you must be joking...Me????' - I told her that the posse adored her and everything she stood for on the forum... She asked 'But what will I say' - I told her just to be herself...

You could literally see her pulling herself together as she went over to the posse who were gathered together...

I know this was very special to Jackie to have a group of people that talked about her, and appreciated her, people that she did not really know... just from what she wrote...

Hence, I quite often referred to her in he diner as 'THE HALLOWED PAINTED SHOES...'         



What a sweet post, Zudos.  Yes, it's true.  We'd even call Jackie from time to time when we were all together and put her on the speakerphone.  I think sometimes we may have called a little too late at night, but Jackie was always up for a chat!  I'm just sorry Jackie never had a chance to visit with the Posse again out here in LA - I know we would have all had a blast.

She was a real "Den Mother" for the Forum, and a lot of people are gonna miss her.   :(
 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 24, 2008, 01:04:25 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2FJackieBayCity1.jpg&hash=e2ca781a3c26773eadaa9ee66d50c819)


WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER
AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.


Trinky, my Trink, this is so beautiful.
 :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mary on January 24, 2008, 01:27:04 PM
I can just imagine Jackie arriving in heaven, and seeing Heath there, her jaw dropping, her head going back in surprise, her hand flying to her heart, "Oh, honey, what are you doing here?"

you know, this image is the only small measure of comfort I am taking in this sad week. 
Well, that and knowing that Jackie did begin to believe how loved and cherished she was here. 
beyond that words fail me....
Thanks for all the photos Wayne
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: UltraViolet on January 24, 2008, 01:49:48 PM
Another long lost DCer checking in, belatedly, to exclaim about Jackie's kind and sweet soul.  I definitely received one of her patented "Welcome" PMs, and wish now that I had saved it in the great PM purge to save the forum.  But I don't need to read it again to remember how special it made me feel.  We didn't speak often, but Jackie would occasionally PM and it was always a delight.  My sincerest condolences to all of you who knew her better and who will miss her so.  And thanks for sharing all your memories.  It helps to smile through the tears.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caithness on January 24, 2008, 02:13:59 PM
Forgive the brief homily, the short personal anecdote, but there is a purpose.

When I was training for the [Anglican] priesthood at theological college in Scotland, we learnt early on from our professor of homiletics (the art of composing and delivering homilies/sermons), a couple of very important points always to remember.

Never, never preach longer than 12 minutes (the attention span of the average parishioner), he said.

Stand up, say what you have to say, get to the point, shut up and sit down.

The longest sermon ever I preached lasted 6 minutes, 2 seconds exactly.  The shortest, 2 minutes exactly.

The best sermon ever I preached was also the shortest, in which sermon I likened the interconnected life we all share to a massive, intricate, silky, lovely spider's web.  Whenever one touches the spider's web, at any point, that touch sets the entire web a-tremble.  We never know in what faraway time and place our touch will be felt.

Jackie's touch was not only in immediate time and place, but her touch will be felt in faraway times and faraway places.  I hope that she knew the importance of her touch.  We certainly do.

It is my fondest hope to communicate, in some way, to her family just how wide-ranging and love-giving and life-giving her touch has been, and will continue to be in all those faraway times and places.

I love you forever, Jackie, my heart.

Malcolm

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 24, 2008, 02:22:07 PM
I'm Jenny, former au pair of Paula. ... snip
I just wanted you to know that her passion about the movie, the forum and all the people she got to know ther even reached Germany and I'm glad that I got to know her and I'm glad that all of you made her happy and she made you happy as well!

hugs from overseas

Thank you for coming!
love is indeed a force of nature... awesome,

jenny, thank you for sharing.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 24, 2008, 02:48:25 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi44.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff5%2FDiDys%2FJake%2FPersonal%2520Pics%2FJackieBayCity1.jpg&hash=e2ca781a3c26773eadaa9ee66d50c819)


WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER
AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.


I'm sorry but I just have to quote this post again. It is expressing everything I feel and more.
Thankyou.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 24, 2008, 03:06:36 PM
http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=26918.msg1154926#msg1154926


Look at reply #2377-done by Twist and Shout

I hope it brings comfort and maybe even a smile...... :-*

Oh lord.   That one really got me.  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 24, 2008, 03:09:24 PM
Malcolm.....your post was beautiful... :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: MaineGirl on January 24, 2008, 03:13:31 PM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

What a beautiful tribute, Nick... Thank you for that.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 03:18:22 PM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

Thank you so much, Nick.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 24, 2008, 03:20:07 PM
OK, its finished.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB8_uV5_9M

This is for you, Jackie. I love you.

What a beautiful tribute, Nick... Thank you for that.

I just saw this.... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(...thank you Nick :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 03:21:01 PM
*snip*
 I wish I had known her better. I wish we all could have known her longer.

Amen.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 24, 2008, 03:28:20 PM
on 15 th December, we sent emails back and forth. I asked her if she realized how loved she was. She answered:

"No, darling, I don't think I have ever understood it. But I am now beginning to see it, and it is totally overwhelming...and frightening... and wonderful."

It was only six weeks ago.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Mejack on January 24, 2008, 03:30:13 PM
During those saddest days of my life, when I couldn't even imagine going on, it was Jackie who sustained me.  There were PMs every day, sometimes two or three a day, for weeks.  That was her heart, who she was.  Please, someone who's going to Maryland, go for me too.

Paul
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bbmbliss on January 24, 2008, 03:33:43 PM
on 15 th December, we sent emails back and forth. I asked her if she realized how loved she was. She answered:

"No, darling, I don't think I have ever understood it. But I am now beginning to see it, and it is totally overwhelming...and frightening... and wonderful."

It was only six weeks ago.



How wonderful Jari, and also how sad that she could only just see it after so long.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 24, 2008, 03:45:09 PM
This is the only picture I have of myself with Jackie, inside her apartment six months ago.  Apologies to whoever took the picture (I think it was Fritz).

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FJackieluncheon13.jpg&hash=ea8e51a4e6e32bd3155704c659419180)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 24, 2008, 04:05:04 PM
During those saddest days of my life, when I couldn't even imagine going on, it was Jackie who sustained me.  There were PMs every day, sometimes two or three a day, for weeks.  That was her heart, who she was.  Please, someone who's going to Maryland, go for me too.

Paul



That most definitely will happen.  David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 24, 2008, 04:09:45 PM
on 15 th December, we sent emails back and forth. I asked her if she realized how loved she was. She answered:

"No, darling, I don't think I have ever understood it. But I am now beginning to see it, and it is totally overwhelming...and frightening... and wonderful."

It was only six weeks ago.



 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: MaineGirl on January 24, 2008, 04:39:48 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)

just beautiful, Neil..........






Hugs around the diner
Tears around the world
For love and friendship freely given
And kindnesses untold.

A legacy of laughter
A thing we cannot lose
We are richer far for knowing you
Darling Jackie, Paintedshoes




Love always
N.
XXX









(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2FJackie.jpg&hash=c88ed487bc56b4ccaef29b4311ea6ab8)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 24, 2008, 04:43:11 PM
Jackie was a Nice Lady.
Needy at times.
Very lonely. Increasingly, as she once told me, prone to sadness: 'I would find myself nowhere, feeling nothing'

Then she saw Brokeback Mountain and found us all. Her needs were met by helping her friends on the Forum. Her loneliness was assuaged by being with the people she met here; people all over the word called her 'friend'. THEIR loneliness was lessened because they knew Jackie and knew she 'meant it'.

Jackie was a nice lady. Up at Estes, she told me something I never forgot:

"I want a world safe for Jack"

She did what she could to make that world safe for Jack. She did what she could to lessen  others' loneliness. She did what she could to be the best FRIEND she could, to anyone, regardless of who and what they were, regardless of where they came from, regardless of what they had or did not have.

Jackie did the best she could, and that is the best thing one can say about anyone.

She will be missed. Now and later, she will be missed.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Oregondoggie on January 24, 2008, 05:07:46 PM
Linda (Killersmom) is gonna post some of my photos from Colorado that include the day Jackie, Becka, janiceinla and I drove up to the visiters' center in The Rocky Mountain National Park.

We were something!  Beckla bellowing (ooops... singing) to us over her own carioca tapes.  Janiceinla hiding on the floor as the car kissed the abyss along the road.  Jackie poking vigorously with her cane at any ice pile that dared get in her way.   All of us out of breath from the altitude.  Had our eyes out for Ennis and Jack along the ridges.   Only herds were cars. 

Jackie sure owned the world that day.  She sure owned us!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 05:22:42 PM
(((((((((Jack)))))))))))))) and (((((((((((((((((((Larry)))))))))))))))))))))

Beautiful posts. Thank you.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: janiceinla on January 24, 2008, 05:54:00 PM
(((((Larry)))))

I had to smile at your post.  I remember how much fun we had that day, even though the edges we freaking me out somewhat.   :-\ ;)  I think I managed quite well under the circumstances.   :-[  Beckla's driving was wonderful.  There's no way I could ever have driven up that mountain.   :o ;D  Remember when we saw those guys riding their bikes and all did a double-take to see if it was Jake and Lance Armstrong.   8) :D   Wonderful memories of Jackie.  Thank you.  I'm looking forward to seeing your pictures.

Janice
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 06:19:16 PM
Oh Janice, that must have been hilarious!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 24, 2008, 06:24:15 PM
Forgive the brief homily, the short personal anecdote, but there is a purpose.

When I was training for the [Anglican] priesthood at theological college in Scotland, we learnt early on from our professor of homiletics (the art of composing and delivering homilies/sermons), a couple of very important points always to remember.

Never, never preach longer than 12 minutes (the attention span of the average parishioner), he said.

Stand up, say what you have to say, get to the point, shut up and sit down.

The longest sermon ever I preached lasted 6 minutes, 2 seconds exactly.  The shortest, 2 minutes exactly.

The best sermon ever I preached was also the shortest, in which sermon I likened the interconnected life we all share to a massive, intricate, silky, lovely spider's web.  Whenever one touches the spider's web, at any point, that touch sets the entire web a-tremble.  We never know in what faraway time and place our touch will be felt.

Jackie's touch was not only in immediate time and place, but her touch will be felt in faraway times and faraway places.  I hope that she knew the importance of her touch.  We certainly do.

It is my fondest hope to communicate, in some way, to her family just how wide-ranging and love-giving and life-giving her touch has been, and will continue to be in all those faraway times and places.

I love you forever, Jackie, my heart.

Malcolm



Malcolm, that was wonderfully said.  And it is true that Jackie's passing from this world to the next certainly has set the whole universal web a-tremble.

More tears.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 06:31:12 PM
Thank you Malcolm.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 06:35:25 PM
From the final movement of Symphony No. 2 by Gustav Mahler, the Resurrection:

Aufersteh'n, ja aufersteh'n
Wirst du, Mein Staub,
Nach kurzer Ruh'!
Unsterblich Leben! Unsterblich Leben
wird der dich rief dir geben!
Wieder aufzublüh'n wirst du gesät!
Der Herr der Ernte geht
und sammelt Garben
uns ein, die starben!
O glaube, mein Herz, o glaube:
Es geht dir nichts verloren!
Dein ist, ja dein, was du gesehnt!
Dein, was du geliebt,
Was du gestritten!
O glaube
Du wardst nicht umsonst geboren!
Hast nicht umsonst gelebt, gelitten!
Was entstanden ist
Das muß vergehen!
Was vergangen, auferstehen!
Hör' auf zu beben!
Bereite dich zu leben!
O Schmerz! Du Alldurchdringer!
Dir bin ich entrungen!
O Tod! Du Allbezwinger!
Nun bist du bezwungen!
Mit Flügeln, die ich mir errungen,
In heißem Liebesstreben,
Werd'ich entschweben
Zum Licht, zu dem kein Aug'gedrungen!
Mit Flügeln,die ich mir errungen
Werde ich entschweben.
Sterben werd'ich, um zu leben!
Aufersteh'n, ja aufersteh'n
wirst du, mein Herz, in einem Nu!
Was du geschlagen
zu Gott wird es dich tragen!


Rise again, yes, rise again,
Will you My dust,
After a brief rest!
Immortal life! Immortal life
Will He who called you, give you.
To bloom again were you created!
The Lord of the harvest goes
And gathers in, like sheaves,
Us together, who die.
O believe, my heart, O believe:
Nothing to you is lost!
Yours is, yes yours, is what you desired
Yours, what you have loved
What you have fought for!
O believe,
You were not born for nothing!
Have not for nothing, lived, suffered!
What was created
Must perish,
What perished, rise again!
Cease from trembling!
Prepare yourself to live!
O Pain, You piercer of all things,
From you, I have been wrested!
O Death, You masterer of all things,
Now, are you conquered!
With wings which I have won me,
In love’s fierce striving,
I shall soar upwards
To the light which no eye has penetrated!
Its wing that I won is expanded,
and I fly up.
Die shall I in order to live.
Rise again, yes, rise again,
Will you, my heart, in an instant!
That for which you suffered,
To God will it lead you.

Requiescas in pace, carissima Jackie.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 24, 2008, 07:03:56 PM
I just miss her so much.  HOW can she not be here?   :(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:06:09 PM
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Di)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 24, 2008, 07:07:41 PM
hiya trinket

and fritz....way cool avatar
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:09:10 PM
Thanks, Jack! As you surely know, that was at Linda's place, and she's holding the horse that Ennis was carving in the tent in the rain while Jack was up with the sheep.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 24, 2008, 07:10:12 PM
Hi to both of you!   I pop in now and then to check up on things here.  It's nice to know I can join with others who understand.
 :-*   :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 24, 2008, 07:13:26 PM
well, I don't understand.  It is at times like these that I have more questions than answers. :(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 24, 2008, 07:15:38 PM
she was just such a nice person.

I'm not given to poetry and pictures--hell, don't know HOW to vreate online pictures! But those who have done so have really done a nice job.

I like the idea of an avatar here. Especialy since all that I'd had on here was zapped when I quit the forum lol.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 24, 2008, 07:16:43 PM
A few more shots I found.....from Bay City.  The last one was 5 minutes after I'd met her for the first time.  Glad to have found this one.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2FBayCity079.jpg&hash=578cb6fc81443188908b32bc367497af)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2FJackieFishingGear.jpg&hash=0ae2cc2ca7451a0fb0b4fa8cce9200b1)

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2FJackieMitch2.jpg&hash=b5a2ddd750ea590935d2e004818a9302)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 24, 2008, 07:17:55 PM
Heidi, I'll call later---but I believe people have their time. When that's done, it's done. Her last years were really happy, don't forget that. She found all of us. We found her.

Think on what her life would have been like without BBM, and what it was after she found it. She had  a purpose and happiness.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:20:55 PM
At Jackie's place

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00608.jpg&hash=01e414f9a455b28517bb6632542f952a)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 24, 2008, 07:23:11 PM
I haven't seen Rodney - is his health such that he can even be with us? Or has something happened to him and I don't know about it...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: janiceinla on January 24, 2008, 07:27:24 PM
((((((Mitch))))))

Love the pictures.  Thanks for sharing them.

Janice
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:27:29 PM
This is a picture that Jackie took last spring when we were on a little trip. It's on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, a large house built before the Civil War and now abandoned. A friend of mine used to live there. She made it sepia.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FPICT0076a.jpg&hash=3e12242fe862359107a4cb231edf1ccd)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:28:50 PM
Heidi, Rodney knows about it, he was around yesterday, I think. His screen name is now RodneyWY, and he's living in Colorado now.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 24, 2008, 07:30:46 PM
Thanks fritz.

I bid you all a good night.  I'll see you again over the next few days.

xoxo
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:32:20 PM
Bay City

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00800.jpg&hash=51b7a73b30ef0c6ef955835e14fa5de9)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:33:49 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00748.jpg&hash=5f8407d355a1614a9ea0893322f8906d)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:34:43 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00739.jpg&hash=09ae6214b1da7eb1958d0dd01dfad7e3)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:36:09 PM
At La Madeleine in Tysons Corner, VA

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FIMG_0238.jpg&hash=ce0de6ade452906b57180405fca9e42b)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:36:41 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FIMG_0236.jpg&hash=14b89f8397418034e7f3120b22e4cc5b)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:37:40 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FIMG_0223.jpg&hash=6a222c5dbd5313f36acd93a95f259146)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:38:20 PM
Thanksgiving weekend at Jackie's

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FIMG_0219.jpg&hash=22c9f1536ddbb18ff750595a0c46f238)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:39:30 PM
Iwas on the phone...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FIMG_0211.jpg&hash=4f918f10e9ffe0ec21f63cc574a67d97)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:39:57 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FIMG_0209.jpg&hash=fbd93078cc7dc246fa924c336b5cbb0a)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: janiceinla on January 24, 2008, 07:40:29 PM
Fritz, you are so lucky that you lived so close to Jackie and were able to get together with her so often.   That said, I will be forever grateful for Estes Park.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:40:37 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00516-1.jpg&hash=8127a1405365569cf3e0a901f51d2fe1)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 24, 2008, 07:41:40 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00748.jpg&hash=5f8407d355a1614a9ea0893322f8906d)



OMG!  Thank you fritz!  :'(   :-*   :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:41:54 PM
THIS was at La Madeleine, now I'm not sure where those other ones were taken.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00504-1.jpg&hash=01e2972e23a3177be3762f09ea1c1b68)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:42:52 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00497-1.jpg&hash=abfd80e84c2022893dd85f6dbd9ccc3c)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:44:32 PM
At the Hard Times Cafe in Arlington

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00491-1.jpg&hash=a37d9a6881a1f844eb36fc11929164a1)

I'm only now beginning to realize and remember that we did get together a fair amount, for which I am very grateful. And yet, never enough.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:45:10 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00487-1.jpg&hash=6285fee5c1947169054400c360664d31)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 24, 2008, 07:45:32 PM
Fritz...thanks for these pics.  Like Brad said - she's always smiling.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:45:53 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00483-1.jpg&hash=04a20e1acc810cec749d3a1e0dc3a8d3)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:46:51 PM
At our house

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FJackieOrangyFritzEarl2.jpg&hash=4c03f4fd90ac9c10a6f602358852ddc7)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:48:49 PM
At Linda's

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00488.jpg&hash=373d59a5f0a5bafe214b3b7ce9f220d9)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:49:23 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00489.jpg&hash=41795fb5dde87271867811ace82fc94c)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:50:17 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00476.jpg&hash=c5774a4fd22b9fae977f2a0de5b7ccb9)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:51:39 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00426.jpg&hash=ec8cc2e051db805d73a7387e682580c9)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 24, 2008, 07:51:50 PM
Her smile was infectious, her laughter delightful and her hugs oh so very wonderful..........   :'(

Loving all the pictures, ((((everyone))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:52:01 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00425.jpg&hash=fc845d47f145d8c2b45ca742c2ac795f)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: alma on January 24, 2008, 07:52:38 PM
I love looking at all of these marvelous pictures of you all. Thanks for posting them.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:53:46 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00350.jpg&hash=6e3b82188359d4de5e700f5fb93d9386)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: janiceinla on January 24, 2008, 07:54:07 PM
(((Terry)))

I remember that Christmas shop in Estes Park.  When Jackie saw those western ornaments, she just had to get them for your tree.  She spoke of your first meeting and instant connection.  It was easy to tell how much you meant to her. 

Janice
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:55:05 PM
At home, before the BBQ

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC07074.jpg&hash=7a23d3dae6d2ae6f4bdedd427f4e6c69)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 07:56:01 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC07072.jpg&hash=0609117019d081d2b83c9da5e34fe270)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Blue on January 24, 2008, 07:59:26 PM
Just want to express my sincere condolences to the family and friends of Jackie. Although I didn't know her, it was always evident from reading her posts that she was a very sweet and caring person. This world, especially today, is always in need of people with those attributes. May the memories of the good times you had together provide you a measure of comfort and happiness at this difficult time.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 24, 2008, 08:06:46 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00748.jpg&hash=5f8407d355a1614a9ea0893322f8906d)



OMG!  Thank you fritz!  :'(   :-*   :)


OMG!!! Thank you fritz!!!  :)  I didn't have this one...... :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 08:23:22 PM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00486.jpg&hash=4e40008fb50afc57c7bb4c00e6053274)

If anyone objects to seeing this picture, please let me know and I will delete it.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 08:28:28 PM
But I can't leave a sad picture at the end.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC07068.jpg&hash=f77d3f613e806a0690fe4455d1debc41)

Thank you Jackie, for the gift of yourself to all of us.

I have faith that we shall meet again.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 24, 2008, 08:32:03 PM
I haven't seen Rodney - is his health such that he can even be with us? Or has something happened to him and I don't know about it...


Rodney is doing Just Fine!

His health is not the best but it's fine, we'll get you the number.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: AHappyMan on January 24, 2008, 08:36:36 PM
One day Jackie and I were chatting in the diner. She had just baked a bunch of oatmeal raisin cookies.
I mentioned they sounded yummy. A week later the postman left me a package- Jackie's cookies.

We lived on opposite sides of the country, never met, never talked in RL. But that was Jackie. She
had love and a selfless kindness that had no use for boundaries.

Jackie was one of the beating hearts of this forum, part of the daily pulse that kept this spot a warm
and welcoming place for all.

I'll miss you, honey. Kiss Heath for me. :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 08:37:56 PM
((((((((((((((((((((((((Rick))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Wonderful to see you again.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 24, 2008, 08:38:47 PM

Another one I found.....us visiting Fritz at his work.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi99.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl309%2FLennyD51%2FDC%2520Forum%2FWashington%2FWashingtonD.jpg&hash=e077290b656b1ac16b6ae0510c8d5be9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 08:40:16 PM
Great seeing y'all wearing your badges, Lenny!  :-*  :-*  :-*

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 24, 2008, 08:41:45 PM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00486.jpg&hash=4e40008fb50afc57c7bb4c00e6053274)

If anyone objects to seeing this picture, please let me know and I will delete it.



This should never be taken down. Annie Proulx's masterpiece gave our bud a new life, and her tears here are an expression of her humanity, of her faith in life. Blurred, out of focus, it is one of the loveliest photos here.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 24, 2008, 08:44:11 PM
Great seeing y'all wearing your badges, Lenny!  :-*  :-*  :-*



Yeah, well, ol' what's-his-name wouldn't have let us in without them!!  ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 24, 2008, 08:48:12 PM
What's up Lenny? Long time no see!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovelyamazing on January 24, 2008, 08:52:57 PM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.



Jackie, I swear ...  :'( :-*

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 24, 2008, 08:55:39 PM
What's up Lenny? Long time no see!

Hey Jack! Good to see you here......wished there would have been more time in Estes Park.....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 24, 2008, 08:56:32 PM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.



Jackie, I swear ...  :'( :-*



((((((((((((((Maya))))))))))))))))))

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 24, 2008, 08:58:33 PM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00486.jpg&hash=4e40008fb50afc57c7bb4c00e6053274)

If anyone objects to seeing this picture, please let me know and I will delete it.

Thank you so much for this one (((Fritz))).  It's a precious instant of time captured; portraying a dear soul who truly, honestly and completely got it and all that the shirts represented to her. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caithness on January 24, 2008, 09:04:42 PM
Jackie, I swear ...  :'( :-*

Maya, my heart.

Now I am really crying.  And not for the first time.

I love the lovely and amazing lovelyamazing.

Malcolm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 24, 2008, 09:05:39 PM
Hello friends,

This is a very fast put together post I'm doing here...I spent a good wonderful while talking to Paula,Jackie's daughter-in-law just now....what a great lady...we talked as if we knew each other for years...but WAIT...I keep forgetting Jackie has told Paula all about us,so I guess she DOES know us...ha ha ha

Anyway....I can't believe that out of their kindness of their hearts,she and Mark,Jackie's son,want to get a head count of all the people who need a place to stay for the night at their house...they can sleep about 20 people comfortably but PLEASE don't let this stop anyone she said....if there are actually more that want to stay,please do...the more the merrier,she said. They have a nice basement with a bar and big screen TV...we can watch the movie together she said...anything we want...*sigh*...this is so surreal to me

ALSO....I need a HEAD COUNT of all the people who are attending Saturday's gathering at Jackie's apartment...she has a one bedroom apartment and even though many of us can fit there,she may have to take it downstairs in their lobby...and also, for catering purposes....

Can someone please take over this for me?....Adrian?....take this head count?....

I feel like I'm forgetting something...

Oh yes....there will be more said about this...but about the gathering for Jackie's ashes in Brokeback?..they are very much willing to wait until all the snow is gone...they want as many people from this Forum to attend ...June is fine with them..I believe it's pretty certain that they are also going to split the ashes and have them spread in London...a dream Jackie always wanted....since she couldn't make it to June's London gathering...now she can be at both places....*sigh*...I am very pumped and overwhelmed by all this....my heart is racing....and I know Jackie is jumping up and down with joy...the BEST part of this conversation?.....was hearing Paula say that she's doing this because she wants to meet the other side of the family..it's the only right thing to do..WE ARE FAMILY....*sigh*

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 24, 2008, 09:10:19 PM
Thank you for all your time and effort, Nildita carisima!

I'll be there, along with Earl, and Dave will be there too, I might be picking him up from the Metro if need be. Tommy has decided not to attend. So there will be 3 in my car, and of course we won't need a place to stay, obviously.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caithness on January 24, 2008, 09:24:11 PM
((((((((((Fritz))))))))))

Thank you so much for all the wonderful photographs.

And thank you so much for posting Klopstock's "Auferstehn" from Mahler's Symphony No. 2.  Good Lord, I was listening to "Resurrection" last night (twice) and again this morning.  Almost too beautiful to have been written.  You must have known.

O Tod!  Du Allbezwinger!
Nun bist du bezwungen!

Indeed.

((((((((((Jackie)))))))))

Malcolm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovelyamazing on January 24, 2008, 09:36:43 PM
(((((Malcolm))))) (((((((Lenny)))))  (((((((Glenn))))))) ((((((((Jack))))))) ((((((((Fritz)))))
(((((((((Nellie)))))) ((((((((Jackie))))))) (((((((((Friends)))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 24, 2008, 09:47:49 PM
Fritz, thanks for the pictures. Most of those I had not seen before. I was there when she burst into tears holding those shirts. But I did not know that moment was captured on film. Amazing. That exactly was her heart.

So, do I understand that the spreading of Jackie's ashes on Brokenback will coinside with the get-together that is planned for that month?  Just wanna be sure so I can keep out the money needed from my tax return . . . I WILL BE THERE for that blessed event!!   ;)

Nick
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: soylentGreen on January 24, 2008, 10:39:51 PM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00486.jpg&hash=4e40008fb50afc57c7bb4c00e6053274)

If anyone objects to seeing this picture, please let me know and I will delete it.

This photo absolutely breaks my heart, I can't look at it without tearing up.  Even though I was only on the forum briefly when BBM first came out, there are many screen-names I remember, and Jackie's was one of them.  What a person, and what a wonderful group of people you are.  I'm so sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 24, 2008, 10:55:22 PM
This should never be taken down. Annie Proulx's masterpiece gave our bud a new life, and her tears here are an expression of her humanity, of her faith in life. Blurred, out of focus, it is one of the loveliest photos here.

I could not agree MORE, Jack. It's a beautiful picture of a person who felt all things deeply.

Have missed you! It's yet another opportunity-- about the tenth today-- to reflect upon how it takes a tragedy to bring us all together, but it's lovely to see that we all ARE together, that we treat each toher as family at such times, all of us. It's really lovely seeing so many people, Heidi and Carol, and Fritz, and johnbeene who probably doesn't even remember me from Colorado, and my wonderful Trink!!!, everyone, everyone, and new people to get to know! I wish so bad we were all in the same room together. I would love to hear your words all in your voices.

Fritz, do you have videos of Jackie by chance? I would love to hear her voice.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: PetterG on January 24, 2008, 10:57:40 PM
This photo absolutely breaks my heart, I can't look at it without tearing up.  Even though I was only on the forum briefly when BBM first came out, there are many screen-names I remember, and Jackie's was one of them.  What a person, and what a wonderful group of people you are.  I'm so sorry for your loss.

Exact the same comment as I would do.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: LauraGigs on January 24, 2008, 11:02:03 PM
Quote
I believe it's pretty certain that they are also going to split the ashes and have them spread in London...a dream Jackie always wanted....since she couldn't make it to June's London gathering...now she can be at both places....

She'll be like Jack then:  "Half the ashes interred here . . . half sent up with the folks."     :-\
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 24, 2008, 11:02:26 PM
the BEST part of this conversation?.....was hearing Paula say that she's doing this because she wants to meet the other side of the family..it's the only right thing to do..WE ARE FAMILY....*sigh*

I am speechless.

I am already determined to be there at Brokenback, no doubts, but I cannot be in Maryland :(

I think one of the saddest things about Brokeback Mountain was that Ennis was not an acknowledged mourner after Jack's death-- that no one told him, like he wasn't anyone, didn't have any relationship to Jack, when in truth, through distance and time, they were partners and soulmates.

Being acknowledged by Jackie's family like this as mourners is truly a blessing, a righting of a wrong that occurred for Ennis, but doesn't have to happen anymore.

Thank you so much Nellie for being an intermediary between the two sides of the family who have never met. You have been invaluable.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: welles on January 24, 2008, 11:03:42 PM
z,

the thing i was thinking about was, in the hotel room that nite, you talking about staying with jackie - you were throwing it in our faces that you'd 'eaten at the painted dining table, slept in the painted guest bedroom, sat on the painted porch, and even sat on the painted sofa.'  ripping good time.

sheesh - my first quote here - hope this works!

Meeting everyone at the San Antonio BBQ was an amazing experience...

I stayed at the Holiday Inn, where all the LA posse were too (Philip/Sparky/Dan/Scott/Lynn), and honoury members Jan and Ellen...

After the Friday evening Dan, who had a suite, invited us back to his room where we all sat chatted and I got to know the LA posse and they me... They absolutely LOVED Jackie, or as they said THE PAINTED SHOES... They had long chatted about her wonderful posts and love that she spread around the forum... I told them that when I arrived in he states I had stayed with Jackie, and they immediately asked me all kinds of details, 'Describe the Painted Shoes Home' 'What does the Painted Shoes eat for breakfast' etc etc... They had adored her from afar...

The mischevious side of me, of course told Jackie that some of the group idolised her, and that she should go and make a speech to them...!!!!

She looked at me in that confused way, and said 'Honey you must be joking...Me????' - I told her that the posse adored her and everything she stood for on the forum... She asked 'But what will I say' - I told her just to be herself...

You could literally see her pulling herself together as she went over to the posse who were gathered together...

I know this was very special to Jackie to have a group of people that talked about her, and appreciated her, people that she did not really know... just from what she wrote...

Hence, I quite often referred to her in he diner as 'THE HALLOWED PAINTED SHOES...'         


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Adrian on January 24, 2008, 11:04:49 PM
Hello friends,

Can someone please take over this for me?....Adrian?....take this head count?....

Nellie


Definitely.  Anyone that is planning to attend this weekends Memorial for Jackie please just send me a really quick PM saying "going" or the likes and I'll get the number to Nellie by tomorrow afternoon.  Thanks.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: SilverLake on January 24, 2008, 11:24:38 PM
Frankly, I haven't been able to go to the Forum because of Heath's death.  And then to be able to come here and find that Jackie died, too, is very hard.  I never knew her, never met her, never exchanged a PM with her.  But I so much loved what she had to say.  I will miss her contributions here very, very, very, much.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: 271horses on January 25, 2008, 12:22:55 AM
I first came to this Forum through my writing and Jackie was one of my first encouragers, and we exchanged a few PMs back in the summer of '06. It tickled me to see her avatar as she looked like my toughest college writing teachers; I think she got a kick out of that when I told her.

Due to personal circumstances, I was never able to participate in any of the Forum get-togethers and so I never got to meet her in person, but I know she came to mean a great deal to a couple of the few members I did become close to, and generally seemed to be held in high regard by folks who otherwise seemed to have little in common, something that to me speaks highly of a person's character.

By last autumn, I had pretty much faded away from the Forum altogether, but, though it had been over a year since we had exchanged PMs, she still took the time to remember me and send me her good wishes for a happy Thanksgiving.  It was a tough time for me, with a lot of family and health issues occupying my mind back then, often a couple weeks going by between me checking in here.

I'm ashamed to say Jackie's PM fell by the wayside and I never got around to responding.  I had no idea she was even sick, and must of thought in the back of my head I'd get back to her when I made some more progress on that chapter I owed her.  As it was I discovered the sad news of her passing too late, and purely by accident.

I will always bitterly regret not taking those few minutes to remember someone who had kindly remembered me, ironic considering what brought us here in the first place was a tale of regret and no second chances.

Dear Lady, I never knew you in this life, and now I never will. Forgive my stubborn pride. I know you would have and you do, and that makes it hurt all the more.

Rest in Peace.

AJ
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 25, 2008, 12:35:23 AM
I just wanted to let everyone know that the forum is putting plans together to take contibutions to donate to The Washington Ear, reading the Washington Post for blind people to call in and hear the news each day. Jackie read for this organization for years. We will make it in memory of Jackie.

We are still in planning stages, but should have information to everyone by the weekend.

Thanks to all,

Linda/killersmom
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: teresa on January 25, 2008, 12:46:33 AM

I'VE HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED
TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE
BUT I KNOW I'M WHO I AM TODAY
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT
AS IT PASSES A SUN
LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD …
IT WELL MAY BE
THAT WE WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN
IN THIS LIFETIME
SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE PART
SO MUCH OF ME
IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
YOU'LL BE WITH ME
LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART
AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END
I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE
BY BEING MY FRIEND...
LIKE A SHIP BLOWN FROM ITS MOORING
BY A WIND OFF THE SEA
LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A SKYBIRD
IN A DISTANT WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER
AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.

di, this was beautiful. it is my favorite song from wicked and it is so fitting  for jackie

For Jackie, with love....

'TIL THEN

Goodbye
Is a word we promised not to say
I will have to find another way
It implies we'll never laugh and play as we did everyday,
But oh,
I know that we will
I won't say goodbye
Farewell
Is too final to be apropo
And it doesn't say I miss you so
That I long to see your smiling face everytime, every place that I go
As I keep up with life's endless chase
I can't say farewell
Someday
When we've all found our shelter from the storm
When we've all found a haven safe and warm
Then I know time will find us
Together again
"'Til then"
Is a phrase that keeps your memory green
It anticipates some future scene
Where we once again will share the joy that you bring
Dear sweet friend, we will sing, we will dance
We will have a new chance
So I'll wait 'til then
Someday
When my sadness has finally ended
We will be as the good Lord intended
Faithful to my song and back where we belong
Together
'Til then, 'til then
We'll be together again
'Til then, 'til then
I'll wait forever and then
'Til then, 'til then
We'll be together again...
---Trish Sisson Soulen

trish, this was beautiful too. we will all be together again someday.
but for now jackie has heath and i am sure she is telling him about all the brokies and preparing him for when he gets to meet us all 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 12:57:32 AM
Hello to All,

This is my first time on the Forum.  My name is Paula; you may already know who I am.  I am Jackie's daughter-in-law, hence my sing-in name of "JackiesDIL".  Unlike my sister, who posted yesterday, I've never been one for brevity, and I'm not the greatest wordsmith.  So, I'm hoping that you can set aside a little of your time to read and endure what is to follow.  I'm not sure exactly what other people have quoted me on, so some of this may seem redundant, but I wanted you to "hear" it straight from me.

I will probably never be able to express how much you all meant to Jackie.  And I know that I could never repay the debt of gratitude I owe to all of you.  Over the course of the last couple of years, I saw Jackie come alive.  Her smile got broader; her eyes got brighter; her spirit got stronger-- all because of you.   You gave her unconditional love and acceptance.  All of her life, she'd been caring for other people, putting other people before herself.  You finally enabled her to do things for herself.  You provided her with an opportunity to get to know herself, really get to know herself.  You showed her that she was worth loving.  She would beam when she spoke about all of you.  I've heard so many stories and so many names.  I really feel like you're all part of my family, just that we haven't met in person.
A few months ago, before any of us knew that Jackie was sick, she and I were sitting on our front porch, just talking away.  I noted that she looked like she was losing weight.  She said that she was, and that her diet must have been working.  I told her that she didn't need to lose an ounce; she was perfect just as she was.  She told me that she knew I felt that way, but that most of her life she felt "invisible".  She went on to explain that the typical reaction to her weight, the one she had become too familiar with, was to be ignored, talked around, and treated like she wasn't even there.  My heart broke; I was fighting to hold back my tears.  I told her, through my eyes-welling-up, sniffling voice, that she could never be invisible; she is beautiful in so many ways-- inside and out.  Again, she told me that she knew I felt that way, but until she met all of you, she didn't believe it to be true.  She said that she finally felt like she was gorgeous, and that she felt strong, and brave, and that she'd finally become the woman she'd wanted to be.  She said that all of you gave her the encouragement to be herself, and by your acceptance, she came to believe that she was beautiful and gorgeous and worthwhile.
You are the best friends she's ever had.  You gave her good times, good memories, and good feelings.  You made her heart smile.  You made the last years of her life, the best of her life.  You gave her a peaceful death.  She was loving, and she was loved, finally, in the way that she should've always been.
When she first starting coming into the Forum, I was thrilled.  I was so happy that she was connecting, really connecting with people.  She would go on and on about all of you, about your interests and histories.  She loved getting to know all of you.  I loved that she was making friends.  During the time she took off work, Jackie's attention and time were definitely being split between her Forum friends and her family.  It wasn't that she was depriving us.  If ever we truly needed her, she would've dropped everything to help (even if her hair were on fire, and both of her legs were chopped off!).  We were so accustomed to her not having a social life to work around, that we didn't know how to react.  So, I talked about it with my husband, and we decided that we could look at it 2 ways:  1)  That we should be upset, because Mom's got a social life now, and we might not be able to dump the kids on her for our "date night", OR 2) We should be happy, because Mom's got a social life now, and she's got friends.  She's finally getting out and about, traveling, enjoying her life, and making her dreams come true.  We chose to look at things with the latter attitude.  And, that is why I reiterate what I said in the beginning of this post-- I owe you all a debt I can never repay.  You enveloped someone so dear to me with your kindness and your love.  Before she met all of you, she was living her life, going through the motions, not really living up to who she could be.  After she met you, she became that woman; she blossomed.  You see, you never took her FROM us at all.  As it turned out, you gave her TO us.  

I'm sure that Nellie has already let you know about our open doors.  If you are able to attend the gathering on Saturday, Jan. 26th from 1-5pm, we would love to meet you.  It is set to be at Jackie's apt. (I'm sure Joanne posted the address), but if the attendance is going to be large, then we will book a bigger place.  If you need a place to stay, you're welcome to stay at our home with us.  I know people usually extend these types of invitations in an empty way, kind of like how someone might say, "How ya doin'?" without ever really wanting to hear your actual response.  This isn't one of those invitations.  Really, we'd be honored to host you, and very fortunate to get to know you in person.  There is no limit; the Fire Marshall isn't going to say that we're "beyond capacity".  The more, the merrier, just like one big slumber party-- just the way Jackie would have wanted it.  I've put Nellie in charge of getting a "head count" for both the "gathering" (for lack of a better term), and for the "sleepover".  Please let her know asap if you're coming to either/both, so that we can make arrangements for things to be comfortable and suitable for everyone.  
If you're not able to attend, we understand.  We know that Jackie is in your hearts.  We know that we're in your thoughts and prayers.  We also understand that, in the real world, people can't always drop everything to fly across the world, country, state.  Airfare's not free; bosses aren't always understanding with time off; children can't be shuffled off to 24-7 daycare; obligations still have to be met.  Whether you're here or not, we know that you care, and Jackie does too.  No matter what time of the year, whether it be this weekend, or October of 2012, our doors are open to you.  Like I wrote earlier, I think of you all as part of my family that I know, I just never met in person.  I know Nellie already told you that we know that Jackie would want her ashes to be on Brokeback Mountain.  I know that there's been debate over which mountain?  When to do it?, etc...  Honestly, we figured that we'd ask for you, collectively, to decide which mountain- the movie mountain, or the one in Wyoming.  We also know that she wanted so desperately to go to London in June.  Nellie said that there is already a plan for some of the group to go to the mountain in late spring/early summer.  Since the mountain is surely iced and snowed in right now, and since there's no "expiration date" on Jackie's ashes, I'm sure that she would be thrilled to be there when the already-scheduled trip is to take place.  But, she would've been torn over which place to go-- the Mountain or London??  Well, she can go to both.  We can have half of the ashes go to the Mountain, and the other half go to London.  That way, she won't have to decide, and sacrifice one to attain the other.  She can finally be two places at one time.  Also, two separate groups of friends (and maybe some doubling-up) can be with her, and have a services for her, without having to travel to the other side of the globe to do so.  

Well, I could go on and on, and on... I warned you about my lack of brevity; didn't I?  I really do have to get to sleep.  I haven't been getting much for the last week, and I don't think that I'll have too much of an opportunity to get much soon.  I'd better take advantage of it, while both the kids are still in bed.  
Hey, I just thought of something... Did I ever tell you how much you meant to Jackie?

Thank you all, and I hope that I will get to meet you all someday.  I'm a virtual hug-machine!  Good night to all-- Paula ;-)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sunspot on January 25, 2008, 12:57:52 AM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00486.jpg&hash=4e40008fb50afc57c7bb4c00e6053274)

If anyone objects to seeing this picture, please let me know and I will delete it.

Geez, I remember that very moment.  I was right there.  That was somethin' else.
 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: sunspot on January 25, 2008, 01:07:08 AM
That's a hell of a 1st post, Paula.  Thanks so much for sharing that.  I know how much that's gonna mean to a slew of folks around here.  It's good to know Jackie got as much out of the forum as the forum got out of Jackie (and that's a lot).
 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dahlia on January 25, 2008, 01:07:36 AM
((((((((Paula)))))))))

I have no words to thank you.....No way I can be there......but believe I'm with you.

Your words mean so much!

Sweet dreams to you  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 25, 2008, 01:10:48 AM
Dearest Paula

I'm Jari (Boris) and we met in your kitchen on that day in August when my connecting flight to San Antonio left me stranded in Dulles and Jackie was kind and generous to pick me up and provide shelter for on e night. Next day we drove down to your home and I met you and your wonderful kids. mark was sleeping having been at work all night.

As much as it pains me, I am not able to attend this Saturday but i want to thank you for the invitation and opening your hearts and home for us. And you do know how much she loved you and how much she talked about you and how much your friendship has meant to her.

One of the things that made me most sad was that she never got to see Oxford. Splitting the ashes between UK and Brokenback Mountain tears me up. On behalf of us all in European Dayshift in Diner I wish to thank you for the opportunity to pay pour last respect to her.

She'll be with us in Oxford after all.

Thank you...

I'll call you later if I may.



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovelyamazing on January 25, 2008, 01:17:50 AM
Hello to All,


I will probably never be able to express how much you all meant to Jackie.  And I know that I could never repay the debt of gratitude I owe to all of you.  

(((((Paula)))))) I am hugging you all the way from India - I want you to know that I owe Jackie a debt that I can never repay. Jackie was an elder sister to me and she gave me a wisdom that I could never have come by without her. Please take me as your own - I am there for you.
Quote
I'm sure that Nellie has already let you know about our open doors.  If you are able to attend the gathering on Saturday, Jan. 26th from 1-5pm, we would love to meet you.

Paula I will be sure to be up(it will be night here) and join you all in spirit right from where I am.
Thank you for your beautiful message. Please stay with us on the forum - we want you.
Much love and God Bless
Maya
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 25, 2008, 01:19:08 AM
My God, Paula.......stunned is an understatement. But 'thank you' will have to do.  :-*

Lenny (New Orleans)


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 01:21:40 AM
Jadi,

Of course I remember you, no date/time stamp required.  I'm so glad that you're healthy and, now that the flower-delivering holiday season is at all lull, able to enjoy some quality time with Petri.   Wow!!  Now I see how you can get sucked in to staying on the Forum for hours upon hours.  I really do have to get to bed now, but you can call anytime.  I gave Nellie my home and my mobile phone number, if you don't have it already.  I presume that you and Wayne have talked ( I hope he's OK-- such a lovely man), as he has my numbers also.  I look forward to talking with you.

Big hugs and kisses,
Paula ;-)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 25, 2008, 01:23:35 AM
Sleep well, Paula...



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 01:24:22 AM
Jari,

Please excuse the typo on your name-- I've got fat, chubby-stubby fingers, and I've been up for over 34 hours.  Sorry, I promise to screw up one of the other letters next time!

Hugs & kisses,
Paula ;-)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 01:25:02 AM
((((((Paula))))))   You are gracious beyond measure.  But then, how could you not be.

Glenn
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: killersmom on January 25, 2008, 01:40:33 AM
((((((Paula)))))))
Your words I take into my heart. We were the ones blessed to have Jackie. You sent me a post card after Jackie came to visit me in my home almost 2 years ago. I still have it. Your words were wondeful then as now.

Thanks is not enough to you. Your thoughts are truly beautiful.

Great hugs to you,
Linda
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 25, 2008, 01:41:26 AM
Jari,

Please excuse the typo on your name-- I've got fat, chubby-stubby fingers, and I've been up for over 34 hours.  Sorry, I promise to screw up one of the other letters next time!

Hugs & kisses,
Paula ;-)

Sweetie... you should hear how people pronounce it...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: zth on January 25, 2008, 01:56:12 AM
This is one of the saddest and most shocking news ....  :(   :(

Jackie, you were a sweet friend, a beutiful person, and I will miss you very very much.

 :'( 

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi161.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft225%2Fdrogin_4god%2FGaleandme.jpg&hash=f4920f377bc6700725359c9b576bfb30)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 02:04:38 AM
From Melissa........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X3BcMcANQg
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 25, 2008, 02:19:04 AM
(((((((((((Paula)))))))))))

I am way beyond words at this point. Just-- thank you, for everything.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jules on January 25, 2008, 02:20:10 AM
((((((Paula))))))

I'm at loss of words. No way I can be there on Saturday, but Jackie and all of you will be in my thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to write here, you're such a wonderful person.

Thank you for the bottom of my heart. I'll be in Oxford and Jackie will be with us...this is unbelievable.

Much love
Catia (from Rome, Italy)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brian on January 25, 2008, 02:21:19 AM
Paula
That was beautiful. There is an older man way down here in Australia just wishing he could have met Jackie in person and wishing he could be there on Saturday. You will be in my thoughts. Saturday is, of course, impossible but there was one crazy moment today when I wondered if I could find the funds to fly to Denver in 2 weeks. I could but as I have appointments the following week, I would have to fly straight home again and that would be ridiculous especially as I hate flying. Instead I will just have to continue looking forward to meeting some of the group in Europe in April/May and perhaps I can find the money to travel back and spend time in the USA in 2009. Nearly 2 years since I joined this forum and although I have hardly met any of you in RL, I feel you are all my friends. That is the magic of Brokeback.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 25, 2008, 02:25:11 AM
From Melissa........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X3BcMcANQg

Oh God, thanks for posting this Glenn. I had been secretly grieving that there didn't seem to be a single picture of me with Jackie except two group shots where I was very far away from her. This video, though, had a beautiful picture where I'm nestled between Marakesh and Jackie in the Bay City cold. I will so treasure it.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: 64 Zoo Lane on January 25, 2008, 02:31:41 AM
What sad, sad news. And to think I only found out about Jackie's illness two days ago, by chance, because of Heath Ledger's death. The word coincidence doesn't seem to quite do this justice.

My condolences to Jackie's family and her many friends on the board. I don't have the heart to go through this entire thread but I've already caught glimpses of jut how much this is going to affect so many of you. I am thinking of you all.

I wanted a place where I could leave record that I, like so many others, was touched by Jackie, by her kindness and thoughtfulness and generosity of spirit. I never met her but I will remember her very fondly as one of life's truly special individuals. How lucky I was that she came to my aid at the beginning of my Brokeback experience.

I also wanted to say: 'Goodbye Jackie. Rest in peace and thank you for your friendship'.

Mireia. X
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 02:48:35 AM
Oh God, thanks for posting this Glenn. I had been secretly grieving that there didn't seem to be a single picture of me with Jackie except two group shots where I was very far away from her. This video, though, had a beautiful picture where I'm nestled between Marakesh and Jackie in the Bay City cold. I will so treasure it.

It was meant to be (((Jess))). 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 02:57:46 AM
Hey Paula,

I am sitting here in floods of tears, but for the first time in a few days they are sad and happy tears...

What a wonderful post... And more than anything I am so glad to see that Jackie realised the love and friendship that she had... Of course she was always giving more...!!!!!

I love you more at the end of every conversation...

Its so wonderful to see you here... And I will see you and Mark again and hope to meet Joanne as well...

I can not make this weekend, so please all hug each other from me...  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

How are Mark and Joanne holding up...?

Thank you so much for making all of this possible... And for welcoming me into your home in July 2006...

Lots and lots of Love

Wayne   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 02:58:29 AM
And by the way Paula - You are doing what we all do... Say we are going to bed and then staying here.... :-* ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chapeaugris on January 25, 2008, 03:07:39 AM
I'm in tears too, Paula, and for a good reason at last.

I came to Washington from France in July to take my daughter to summer camp in Maryland. When Jackie heard I was coming and was going to rent a car for that day to take her to camp, she offered to drive us. I was simply overwhelmed by her generosity as she didn't know me in real life. During the drive up there she went on about dozens of forum members and I wondered if there was anyone here she didn't know. You confirmed for me what I suspected from listening to her, that she had had a lot of disappointments in life and had finally found a place to express herself safely and give of herself without judgement. She was absorbing all the love flooding  back to her like a dry sponge. Finding this place was the miracle of her life, I think.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 03:11:23 AM
PAULA,

Jesus Christ woman...............your post is "PRICELESS".....thank you so so much for doing this...words escape me now!!

But they well certainly come later!!!

((((Paula))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 03:12:28 AM
And by the way Paula - You are doing what we all do... Say we are going to bed and then staying here.... :-* ;D

Oh my God!  It's happening already!  OK- really... I'm going to bed now!!

Sweet dreams,

Paula ;-)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: andy/Claude on January 25, 2008, 03:15:12 AM
Thank you so much for your words Paula... they go a long, long way.
I was looking forward so much to having Jackie stay with me here on the Isle of Wight after the Oxford meet.
 I shall be there in spirit tomorrow as will everybody else who continue to marvel at 'our' Jackie. Your words have enlarged on our understanding and appreciation. My very best to you and the rest of the family.

Andy.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 03:18:15 AM
And by the way Paula - You are doing what we all do... Say we are going to bed and then staying here.... :-* ;D

Oh my God!  It's happening already!  OK- really... I'm going to bed now!!

Sweet dreams,

Paula ;-)

Same to you darling...

Wayne
X
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 03:24:10 AM
And by the way Paula - You are doing what we all do... Say we are going to bed and then staying here.... :-* ;D

Oh my God!  It's happening already!  OK- really... I'm going to bed now!!

Sweet dreams,

Paula ;-)

BWAHahahaha...oh God....Paula..you're one of us now!!!!!!!!!!!!!  it makes me sooooooo happy and Jackie is giggling right now,I just know it!!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bbmbliss on January 25, 2008, 03:25:05 AM
Paula - thank you so much for your wonderful words. 

It means so much that so many of us this side of the Atlantic will be able to say a proper goodbye to Jackie. 

Thank you.

Sarah, in England
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gres on January 25, 2008, 03:25:56 AM
If you're not able to attend, we understand.  We know that Jackie is in your hearts.  We know that we're in your thoughts and prayers.  We also understand that, in the real world, people can't always drop everything to fly across the world, country, state.  Airfare's not free; bosses aren't always understanding with time off; children can't be shuffled off to 24-7 daycare; obligations still have to be met.  Whether you're here or not, we know that you care, and Jackie does too.  No matter what time of the year, whether it be this weekend, or October of 2012, our doors are open to you.  Like I wrote earlier, I think of you all as part of my family that I know, I just never met in person.  I know Nellie already told you that we know that Jackie would want her ashes to be on Brokeback Mountain.  I know that there's been debate over which mountain?  When to do it?, etc...  Honestly, we figured that we'd ask for you, collectively, to decide which mountain- the movie mountain, or the one in Wyoming.  We also know that she wanted so desperately to go to London in June.  Nellie said that there is already a plan for some of the group to go to the mountain in late spring/early summer.  Since the mountain is surely iced and snowed in right now, and since there's no "expiration date" on Jackie's ashes, I'm sure that she would be thrilled to be there when the already-scheduled trip is to take place.  But, she would've been torn over which place to go-- the Mountain or London??  Well, she can go to both.  We can have half of the ashes go to the Mountain, and the other half go to London.  That way, she won't have to decide, and sacrifice one to attain the other.  She can finally be two places at one time.  Also, two separate groups of friends (and maybe some doubling-up) can be with her, and have a services for her, without having to travel to the other side of the globe to do so.  

((((Paula)))),

i'll lit a candle for beloved Jackie this weekend. And i'm planning to be in London in June so i guess i'll "meet" her there since she so wanted to come in Europe and meet her friends from the other side of the Atlantic ocean.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 25, 2008, 03:35:43 AM
dear paula,
i read your lines this morning, and i'm in tears. i'm martina, from austria. i've never met jackie in person, i wasn't able to attend the US gatherings. this june would have been the first time jackie and i would have met in person. but that doesn't mean that we didn't "meet" - i can't count the numbers of hours we've chatted...they were so precious to me. like for so many others here, jackie was the older sister to me that i never had and always wished to have.

your graciousness is bigger than anything we could have hoped for..thank you from the depth of my heart.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bradINblue on January 25, 2008, 03:46:22 AM
Paula, it's Brad. I cherish the patches and the t-shirts and our great conversation on the phone. I more than cherished Jackie, for she was the sister I never had. Thanks for that wonderful post. I, too, found smiles through the tears.

B
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bradINblue on January 25, 2008, 03:49:10 AM
I first came to this Forum through my writing and Jackie was one of my first encouragers, and we exchanged a few PMs back in the summer of '06. It tickled me to see her avatar as she looked like my toughest college writing teachers; I think she got a kick out of that when I told her.

Due to personal circumstances, I was never able to participate in any of the Forum get-togethers and so I never got to meet her in person, but I know she came to mean a great deal to a couple of the few members I did become close to, and generally seemed to be held in high regard by folks who otherwise seemed to have little in common, something that to me speaks highly of a person's character.

By last autumn, I had pretty much faded away from the Forum altogether, but, though it had been over a year since we had exchanged PMs, she still took the time to remember me and send me her good wishes for a happy Thanksgiving.  It was a tough time for me, with a lot of family and health issues occupying my mind back then, often a couple weeks going by between me checking in here.

I'm ashamed to say Jackie's PM fell by the wayside and I never got around to responding.  I had no idea she was even sick, and must of thought in the back of my head I'd get back to her when I made some more progress on that chapter I owed her.  As it was I discovered the sad news of her passing too late, and purely by accident.

I will always bitterly regret not taking those few minutes to remember someone who had kindly remembered me, ironic considering what brought us here in the first place was a tale of regret and no second chances.

Dear Lady, I never knew you in this life, and now I never will. Forgive my stubborn pride. I know you would have and you do, and that makes it hurt all the more.

Rest in Peace.

AJ

It amazes me that Jackie impacted so many people everyone. You, friend, are a prince. Thanks AJ.

Brad
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 25, 2008, 04:19:15 AM

  Before she met all of you, she was living her life, going through the motions, not really living up to who she could be.  After she met you, she became that woman; she blossomed.  You see, you never took her FROM us at all.  As it turned out, you gave her TO us. 


Thank you Paula!

Now this train ride is starting to make sense.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: MaineGirl on January 25, 2008, 04:53:18 AM

  Before she met all of you, she was living her life, going through the motions, not really living up to who she could be.  After she met you, she became that woman; she blossomed.  You see, you never took her FROM us at all.  As it turned out, you gave her TO us. 


Thank you Paula!

Now this train ride is starting to make sense.


I will add my thanks to all the others, Paula!  I never had the pleasure of meeting Jackie in person, but she touched me with her kindness here and I cherish that. 
My thoughts are with you and your family at this time..... 

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 25, 2008, 04:58:28 AM
Thanks for that wonderful post Paula.

I was lucky enough to meet Jackie in Texas, we both stayed at Linda's house.

I cannot make the gathering on Saturday (although I really wish I could), but will be there in spirit.

Sal  (in UK)     ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Miaisland on January 25, 2008, 05:01:56 AM
Thank you Paula!

My warmest thoughts are with you all!

Mia from Sweden.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 25, 2008, 05:08:04 AM
Paula
That was beautiful. There is an older man way down here in Australia just wishing he could have met Jackie in person and wishing he could be there on Saturday. You will be in my thoughts. Saturday is, of course, impossible but there was one crazy moment today when I wondered if I could find the funds to fly to Denver in 2 weeks. I could but as I have appointments the following week, I would have to fly straight home again and that would be ridiculous especially as I hate flying. Instead I will just have to continue looking forward to meeting some of the group in Europe in April/May and perhaps I can find the money to travel back and spend time in the USA in 2009. Nearly 2 years since I joined this forum and although I have hardly met any of you in RL, I feel you are all my friends. That is the magic of Brokeback.

We will soon be meeting each other, Brian.  I'm looking forward to having a great talk - and of course reminiscing about Jackie.

 :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 25, 2008, 05:18:17 AM
Dear Paula,

Thank you for your wonderful post.  I'd like to echo the words of others here - I'm so very, very happy to know that Jackie understood how much she was loved and cherished here.  I'm sending you my warmest regards, deepest sympathies, hugs and much love during this very difficult time.

This forum isn't the same, and will never be the same, without her presence.  I see the hole she has left every single day, but it's a tribute to her that her spirit lives on in all of the peopl here who love her and miss her very much.  She changed my heart, for the better.

I wish I could be here this weekend, but being in Sweden makes it impossible.  I will most definitely be at the Oxford gathering and I can't even begin to describe how touched I am that part of Jackie will be coming to us there.  I only wish it could be in much better circumstances.

If I can be of any help with anything, please be sure to contact me.

With warmest regards,
Marleen
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 25, 2008, 05:47:05 AM
Paula thank you so much for your post. it made me cry and smile at the same time
jackie was the first of our forum i saw when i arrived in texas and i`m so glad i took the opportunit to talk to her right before new years eve. She was very tired and we only talked for a couple of minutes. But to know that i told her one more time how much i loved her and cared for her is giving me faith now.
There1s no way i could make it from the netherlands this weekend, but you guys are so sweet to do all this for us and jackie!!
I will be in Oxford this summer and was so thrilled to hear that part of er ashes will be there then too and so will she!

hugs
conny
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 25, 2008, 06:22:27 AM
Paula:

Even though many of us have come to know each other well,
and some of us even met each other at one time or another, it
is not a usual occurrence meeting each other's extended family or reading
a wonderful post such as yours.

Let me assure you that all the posts you have read regarding Jackie are
true and from very touched hearts.  She has left a lasting impression on
not only those she met personally, but as you can see, members of this Forum
who only knew of her.

I know you and the rest of your family are very proud of her
and her ability to reach out to many of us literally across the world.
What bigger accomplishment can that be?   . . . and it's the most
each of us could wish to accomplish in our own lifetimes.

Please accept my condolenses and extend them to the rest of your
family.   Remind them of how much joy she brought to many of us,
and how happy she really was to the end.

gerry (cabin)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 06:41:14 AM
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00486.jpg&hash=4e40008fb50afc57c7bb4c00e6053274)

If anyone objects to seeing this picture, please let me know and I will delete it.



I keep looking at this picture....and I want to scream....let out a big cry....

I LOVE YOU JACKIE!!!!!!  and I'll be at your place tomorrow....feeling your vibes....feeling your soul...loving your family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your "hermana"

Nellie :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 25, 2008, 06:55:46 AM
Paula,

Your words are moving and strong.  Thanks for your's and Mark's willingness to embrace Jackie's new social life and new family these last couple of years.

How could it not have been a source of some concern to you?  However, you got to witness the wonderful change in your mother-in-law, see the pride and self-confidence grow in her.  With that, you knew she was happy and in good hands.

I first met her in DC, had taken my nephew for a trip, and Jackie was determined to meet.  We settled upon the National Gallery of Art, one of her favorite places, she said.  It was immediate, the feelings of instant connection and her obvious care for others.  I'll not set foot in that building again without remembering the best piece of 'art' I found there.

At the BBQ, we got to meet again, laugh, joke and share time - and it was great.  The this past Spring, she and Marc came through town on their way to Denver, and once again, a heartfelt lunch and visit.  She wanted to see where I lived and we were able to get a picture or two taken here.  They are treasures.

Not to mention the cd's and of course the Christmas tree cowboy ornaments (Janice, you remembered them too).  And the untold emails and phone calls. 

The speed of all this makes my head spin.  Yet I stubbornly buck up and go forward with the joy that I got to know her.  And for that, I'm very lucky.  Thanks for sharing her.  My condolenses to you and the family.

Rest well Sweet Jaclyn.

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 25, 2008, 06:57:43 AM
The picture of Jackie and the shirts should stay.

It's how we all feel about the shirts and that scene in the movie (despite the "febreeze" photocap in the caption thread!!).

It's how we all feel now about Jackie being gone.  All we are left with are these precious recollections and memories and pictures.  She touched everyone she met. 


Heidi


Does anyone have a large picture file of the "painted shoes" picture?  That was Jackie's avatar when she first joined the forum.  I remember her telling the story of the painting and how those of us gathered that day were in tears over the story.  (well, I was anyway.  lol.)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 25, 2008, 07:42:59 AM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((PAULA)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Reading your post -  what a beautiful way to begin this day. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

With love,
Trish
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 08:13:04 AM
Hello friends,

I wanted to throw this "out there"...

Another part of the conversation I had with Paula yesterday....she was mentioning to me about how her family was looking at this thread...pictures...all sorts and they were going to print all 80+ pages....I said WAIT

I thought I heard one of you guys mentioning how great it would be if we can get together a book of some sorts...or just make copies and get something together for Jackie's family...I think this would be the least we can do for her kindness and gratitude we all have for them....a little something to "give" from us.......

((((hugs))))


your amiga

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 25, 2008, 08:31:58 AM
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((PAULA)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Reading your post -  what a beautiful way to begin this day. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

With love,
Trish
what she said^^
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 25, 2008, 09:05:17 AM
One day Jackie and I were chatting in the diner. She had just baked a bunch of oatmeal raisin cookies.
I mentioned they sounded yummy. A week later the postman left me a package- Jackie's cookies.

We lived on opposite sides of the country, never met, never talked in RL. But that was Jackie. She
had love and a selfless kindness that had no use for boundaries.

Jackie was one of the beating hearts of this forum, part of the daily pulse that kept this spot a warm
and welcoming place for all.

I'll miss you, honey. Kiss Heath for me. :-*

I remember that....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 09:07:30 AM
One day Jackie and I were chatting in the diner. She had just baked a bunch of oatmeal raisin cookies.
I mentioned they sounded yummy. A week later the postman left me a package- Jackie's cookies.

We lived on opposite sides of the country, never met, never talked in RL. But that was Jackie. She
had love and a selfless kindness that had no use for boundaries.

Jackie was one of the beating hearts of this forum, part of the daily pulse that kept this spot a warm
and welcoming place for all.

I'll miss you, honey. Kiss Heath for me. :-*

I remember that....

Me too...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 25, 2008, 09:10:10 AM
Dearest Paula-

Your post has me in tears. Thank you for sharing with us.
Jackie spoke of you often. She loved you beyond words and
she knew you loved her. She said the day you came into
their lives was such a blessing.

I loved her too. Her wit, generosity, caring, loving ways made
me love her right away. I am so lucky to have known her.

She had me to her home and I saw the "paintedshoes"
in person. She had pictures of her family and she treasured
them.

I see all her friends here. She spoke of all of you
and she truly knew she was beloved. What a gift she gave
us and we were able to give in return.

I cannot be there this weekend, but I will be in spirit.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and all of your
family as welll as Jackie's extended Brokeback family.

We are better for having known her.

Much love,

Jenny
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 25, 2008, 09:11:23 AM
One day Jackie and I were chatting in the diner. She had just baked a bunch of oatmeal raisin cookies.
I mentioned they sounded yummy. A week later the postman left me a package- Jackie's cookies.

We lived on opposite sides of the country, never met, never talked in RL. But that was Jackie. She
had love and a selfless kindness that had no use for boundaries.

Jackie was one of the beating hearts of this forum, part of the daily pulse that kept this spot a warm
and welcoming place for all.

I'll miss you, honey. Kiss Heath for me. :-*

I remember that....

Me too...

. . . and me . . .  (I wonder how many packages she sent out).  They sure were good.  I remember we always discussed what was for dinner and she would always rave about what I was having.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 25, 2008, 09:12:21 AM
Actually, printing out these pages and make a book out of them sounds a good idea to me. Here's the first reaction, the memories, anecdotes and laughter and some of the best pictures of Jackie ever.

We might put a book together, but I doubt it would be better than this. And it's kind of fitting tribute that it should be in form of forum pages. After all, that was the medium through with we all grew to know and love her.





Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chandra on January 25, 2008, 09:16:33 AM
I want to share a little example of how generous Jackie was.

When I was visiting her, she showed me some of her
Brokeback treasures. She had keepsakes and whatnot
from the Texas BBQ. One was a can of Bettermost beans
which I had not seen before. I admired it and that was that.
As I was leaving the next day, she pulled me aside and handed
me a can and said to put it in my suitcase. She said she had an
extra and she knew there was a reason she got two....
Man. I cried. And I treasure that can as only a Brokie
can do, but for the way it came to me as well.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 09:35:33 AM
Just before Jackie went into hospital, I was out for a curry with Marc and Jari... And we really wanted to talk to Jackie... So we called to see if she would be around when we got home for a quick skype chat... She said she would be and I reminded her to make sure her hair was done...

We got back, and of course had a couple of beers, to wash the curry down you understand, and we had a webcam chat, albeit quick as she was not feeling great...

Her smile on the screen was huge, and even though she was obviously in pain we all chatted for a few minutes, and I asked her if she had done her hair... A quick cheeky smile and a swirl later, and I could see it all wrapped up in a pin in the back of her head...

She loved it...

Joanne was there and I asked if she wanted to come and say hi... Jackie said no as she had not done her hair yet...

Of course I perfectly understood.....

So glad she got to see the three of us together, laughing and being silly... I guess that was her last glimpse into a Brokie reunion...     
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 25, 2008, 10:01:48 AM
Hello friends,

I wanted to throw this "out there"...

Another part of the conversation I had with Paula yesterday....she was mentioning to me about how her family was looking at this thread...pictures...all sorts and they were going to print all 80+ pages....I said WAIT

I thought I heard one of you guys mentioning how great it would be if we can get together a book of some sorts...or just make copies and get something together for Jackie's family...I think this would be the least we can do for her kindness and gratitude we all have for them....a little something to "give" from us.......

((((hugs))))


your amiga

Nellie


Almost anyone with the time and inclination can produce and have a book printed for next to no money at sites like http://www.lulu.com and http://www.blurb.com

It's very simple nowadays.

just a thought
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 10:02:12 AM
I wanted to post a story which demonstrates Jackie's strength of character and always knowing how to deal with a sticky situation, and humility... But its a bit prickly in places so let the reader beware...

Its important that I explain where I was personally when travelling to USA in 2006

1) Had first relationship with a guy who became an Ennis - 2005

2) Due to our closeness he kinda backed off to his wife

3) Brokeback.... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

4) Support through forum and learning how to joke and admire guys on the internet, but no one in real life knew what I was doing or how I felt.

When I went to Washington I had only met Sarah (BBMBLISS) for one day, and was the only person to know what I had been through and had met face to face... and felt like a part of my real life...

Jackie and I had a great day at Solomons Island and she had already mentioned that she wanted us to call in and see her son and DIL and grandchildren on the way back... I said no problems...

When we were in the car on our way to their house, she said that if they asked I had to say that I was gay. I said that I did not have a label and at best I was bisexual. Jackie said that so, it would be best, as her family were not yet sure about the forum, and would be worried if they knew she had a bi man staying at her house, who she met for the first time the day before aside from an internet relationship...

I said OK but was really uncomfortable... Anyway we went in, and it was great to meet Paula and Jenny who were so welcoming... And then Paula got a local guide and passed it to me, and said something about gay Washington, because you are gay right... I said yes, and went bright red... Of course Paula's intentions were to show me something that she thought I would want to know about Washington... She is Jackie's DIL after all, and the same qualities flow... So it was me being silly and not knowing who or what I was at the time...

Jackie and I spoke after we left....And she apologised for putting me in that situation... I do not think at the time I was that charitable about it... I felt very confused...

We still thoroughly enjoyed the rest of our trip together, and when Jackie arrived in San Antonio, I was so glad to be there to meet her at the airport... After we had hugged and got into the truck, she said there was something she needed to talk to me about (after gushing of course about Jari having a stop - over - Think of that Wayne, she said, I was Jari's saviour, and then giggled like in a girly way), and then she said she appreciated how difficult it had been for me and that she had already spoken to Paula and explained...

I tell you all this because it really shows the size of Jackie's heart... And her humility and willing to put everyone else ahead of herself...

Now I feel foolish to have ever felt bad about this, as our friendship really grew from that point into a wonderful two way sharing of experience and life... I was on a new journey and so was she...

Also in Washington when we were on the subway, she suddenly said something to me about the architecture over there... Well I was astounded as could not see anything that interesting about the architecture on the subway... When we got off she explained that architecture was pointing out a good looking guy... I said that it was inappropriate to talk that way... In other words I was not used to it... Jackie just had that all knowing grin on her face...

In 2007 when we met in New York and I had time to accept that by liking boys as well as girls the vista was more pleasant and varied...! We had a blast spotting all the architecture in NYC...

She grew with me, and alongside me, and at my pace, and put up with my flouncing in between....

And to have seen the growth in her too was amazing... So much more expressive and accepting and relishing everything... I remember sitting on the roof of the Hotel Gansevoort sharing a G&T, and we were laughing and having a chat, and she pointed out some of the architecture walking by... AND boy was she right... It was supurb ;D

Not often in life do you find people that really believe in you, and are willing so willing to overlook your failings and cover them in love... Jackie was one such person, and her passing has left a huge gap in my life... I was not ready for the gap being this big... So I hope and pray that she knew how much she meant to me... And I will certainly honour the responsibility of making sure her England ashes are spread in a way befitting her...

I hope you are all OK and prepared to indulge me with these stories... For its all about Jackie's warm and loving heart, strength and wisdom that I tell them...               

     
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bbmbliss on January 25, 2008, 10:28:34 AM
....Not often in life do you find people that really believe in you, and are willing so willing to overlook your failings and cover them in love... Jackie was one such person, and her passing has left a huge gap in my life... I was not ready for the gap being this big... So I hope and pray that she knew how much she meant to me... And I will certainly honour the responsibility of making sure her England ashes are spread in a way befitting her...

I hope you are all OK and prepared to indulge me with these stories... For its all about Jackie's warm and loving heart, strength and wisdom that I tell them...               

Thanks for posting this. 

Jackie accepted and loved you for being you, flaws and all.  That was her gift with all of us.

You shouldn't be too hard on yourself.  None of us are perfect, and we have all had to adjust to being the real person inside ourselves that BBM uncovered.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 25, 2008, 10:38:56 AM
i'm not sure i'm ready to talk about that yet...or ever...but wayne told us such beautiful stories - thank you wayne !

so, maybe just a couple of words from me as well: one thing that came up so often when jackie and i talked, was that we found it incredible that we could be so different outwardly, but so similar inside. it is why we started calling each other "sister" in the first place. our lifes "from the outside" might have been very different, but inside we had so many things in common - insecurities, fears, but also hopes and dreams.

jackie has the incredible talent of looking behind the facade, behind the outside layers - straight into your heart. she is able to take people as they really are....and this made me simply fall in love with her.

she'll be one of the brightest stars in my sky till the end of my days...


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi61.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh55%2Fdesertrat77%2Flandscapes%2Fstarsky.jpg&hash=05f838f14a0a1de987c7d5619812247a)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 25, 2008, 10:47:38 AM
I thought this appropriate to post here, and I have Waynes permission to do so.  A very recent exchange of PM's between Wayne and myself!!


From Sal to Wayne

I'm smiling so far today - decided not to cry, but the vodka bottle got put in the freezer at 5.30am this morning - I may do my fair share later this evening!

Chin up and all that  - I'm trying for Jackies sake - could you imagine what she would say if she saw us all crying...........??

Sal     



Waynes reply


Indeed... hehehe

'Now you know I love you BUT pull yourself together Wayne' - I can hear it in my head right now...

W
X
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 10:48:04 AM
Great post Martina... Thanks  :) :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 10:48:52 AM
And Sal, thanks too... And I really can hear her saying it.... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 25, 2008, 10:49:25 AM
And Sal, thanks too... And I really can hear her saying it.... :-*

Yep me too!

Sal     :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 25, 2008, 10:49:30 AM
Great post Martina... Thanks  :) :-*

thank you for listening...  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 10:50:44 AM
Great post Martina... Thanks  :) :-*

thank you for listening...  :-*

Always sweetheart...  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 10:53:04 AM
Yes, Martina....

Every morning I look up at the sky at 5 AM while I walk out to work and think of my Brokeback friends...I make wishes for them,I used to think how much of a dork I was for doing such silly things...but I always had a special star for Jackie..."mi hermana" star.....it isn't silly for me any more now...it has a special meaning more so now.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 11:41:49 AM
This should never be taken down. Annie Proulx's masterpiece gave our bud a new life, and her tears here are an expression of her humanity, of her faith in life. Blurred, out of focus, it is one of the loveliest photos here.

I could not agree MORE, Jack. It's a beautiful picture of a person who felt all things deeply.

Have missed you! It's yet another opportunity-- about the tenth today-- to reflect upon how it takes a tragedy to bring us all together, but it's lovely to see that we all ARE together, that we treat each toher as family at such times, all of us. It's really lovely seeing so many people, Heidi and Carol, and Fritz, and johnbeene who probably doesn't even remember me from Colorado, and my wonderful Trink!!!, everyone, everyone, and new people to get to know! I wish so bad we were all in the same room together. I would love to hear your words all in your voices.

Fritz, do you have videos of Jackie by chance? I would love to hear her voice.

Hey Jess, I think there should be some of her voice on the Colorado videos, I'm not sure.

Not quite sure how this works, but if you can go to this YouTube site, all my videos are here, mostly of Alberta movie locations and the BBQ videos. I hope to post more, especially from the Bay City get-together in the not too distant future. Of course, I've been saying that for a couple of months. Have to get my proverbial posterior in gear.

http://youtube.com/user/fritzkep

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Osprey on January 25, 2008, 12:02:53 PM
I have already posted this on the Christian thread but I think I need to post it here as well.  I dreamed of Jackie last night.  Myself, Brian, Oregondoggie and another friend who is not a member of the forum were sitting in the lobby of this beautiful, old, rustic hotel that I love in Jackson Hole.  We were having drinks and just talking quietly among ourselves.  Suddenly, in this beautiful old carved doorway to the right of the main entrance, stood Jackie.  She was luminous and dressed totally in brilliant white.   Except for Kent, the non member of the forum, we all realized who it was.  I turned to Bri and said, "My God, it's Jackie".  Kent was just staring in disbelief.  She was smiling and in her hand she held an elegant fluted glass, which she raised to us and in the next instant, she was gone.  It was so real to me that it woke me and I sat bolt upright in bed.  My sudden movement woke Marty and he ask me what I was doing.  I told him about the dream and he ask me if I wanted to talk.  I told him no, that I was fine, but just wanted to sit quietly for a minute and so Marty just slowly drifted off back to sleep.  I must have sat there for close to twenty minutes or so before I lay back down.  It took me a long time to go back to sleep.  When I woke this morning, I wondered if maybe Jackie was headed for Brokeback, or on her way back from Brokeback but for whatever reason, she was in North Western Wyoming and had just dropped in to raise a glass to some of her Brokie friends who also just happened to be there.  Bitter Sweet dream.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 25, 2008, 12:05:28 PM
I agree with Jari that the forum pages themselves best represent... the forum. LOL. The forum community and love and stuff. But I also could see wanting something so much nicer than printer paper. Could it be possible to get these forum pages bound for them on nice paper?

And for us?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 12:15:52 PM
Oh, ((((((((((((((((((((RANCE)))))))))))))))))))))))), how wonderful to have Jackie visit you in your dream. You are very blessed indeed.


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 12:20:32 PM
(((((((((((((((((((((Paula))))))))))))))))))))))))))))), looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Your way of describing what Jackie experienced through the Forum puts a new perspective on someone whom I grew to love as a sister and friend. I'm staggered to read that you found that we did not take her away from you, but rather gave her back to you. Her giving was bottomless, and her presence with us will fill our memories. Thank you so much.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 25, 2008, 12:23:50 PM
(((((Rance))))) Wow, thank you for sharing that powerful dream with us. It actually does ease me. Thank you.

Jackie must love the afterlife: meeting Heath, galavanting around Wyoming, visiting forum members in their sleep whenever she likes. Maybe there's something to this heaven thing  :) Certainly she doesn't have to pay so much on plane tickets to see us anymore... I just wish we could see her back.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: bass51 on January 25, 2008, 12:29:29 PM
dear paula,
i read your lines this morning, and i'm in tears. i'm martina, from austria. i've never met jackie in person, i wasn't able to attend the US gatherings. this june would have been the first time jackie and i would have met in person. but that doesn't mean that we didn't "meet" - i can't count the numbers of hours we've chatted...they were so precious to me. like for so many others here, jackie was the older sister to me that i never had and always wished to have.

your graciousness is bigger than anything we could have hoped for..thank you from the depth of my heart.

Paula, it's Brad. I cherish the patches and the t-shirts and our great conversation on the phone. I more than cherished Jackie, for she was the sister I never had. Thanks for that wonderful post. I, too, found smiles through the tears.

B

I'll humbly add a third to this....When I stayed with Jackie in May '07, I said those exact words to her through an evening of private conversation.....I told her "You know Jackie, I never had a sister, but if I did I would want her to be you." And, of course, her reply....."Oh, honey..." and that beautiful smile...

Lenny



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 25, 2008, 12:42:20 PM
An email from our friend Maureen in Bay City:

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dearest John: I am deeply sorry for "our" great loss.  I offer the Brokeback Mountain Forum family my deepest sympathy.
Heath was an amazing man with an abundance of talent....the world will mourn.
 
From the moment I met Jackie I knew I met a very special lady.
So intelligent, so warm, so down to earth, so loving to everyone in our "family".
Jackie will be deeply missed.  God has a very special angel.
We are blessed with having known Jackie.

 
I'm thinking that all of us must make it a priority to truly be aware of those in our lives...to care, care deeply and to show it in our actions and words.

For all the years that we have known one another, for all the experiences and adventures that we have shared it's been just this past year that you have said to me....

I love you.  John, those three words mean the world to me.  Not only do those words let me know how you feel about me, but about yourself.

I love you John with all my heart and soul.  I love you for exactly who you are...one terrific, dedicated, loyal, intelligent, passionate man.

Friends Forever

Maureen
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 25, 2008, 12:46:45 PM
Talking about dreams.... you know that I'm rather sensible guy and not Shirley MacLaine but I still have to tell you this. Tuesday night, night before Jackie died, I saw a dream about her. We were sitting on grass in Auntie's backyard in Texas... there were many people from BBQ, I remember Nick and Rob standing somewhere behind me, Red, Fritzie, Terry, Wayne  and many others and some who weren't in BBQ but were in my dream like Jess and Lenny...  Nellie was sitting with me and Jackie and she was singing or humming somekind of lullaby.... Jackie was smiling and laughing and she held a small bouguet made of lilies of the valley. And there was sun and light and joy.

This may sound weird but after I heard that Jackie had passed away, I had this idea that maybe... what if I was visiting her dream. That it was the place where she was in her dreams the night before she died. And that we were all there to send her on her way.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 25, 2008, 12:56:30 PM
dear paula,
i read your lines this morning, and i'm in tears. i'm martina, from austria. i've never met jackie in person, i wasn't able to attend the US gatherings. this june would have been the first time jackie and i would have met in person. but that doesn't mean that we didn't "meet" - i can't count the numbers of hours we've chatted...they were so precious to me. like for so many others here, jackie was the older sister to me that i never had and always wished to have.

your graciousness is bigger than anything we could have hoped for..thank you from the depth of my heart.

Paula, it's Brad. I cherish the patches and the t-shirts and our great conversation on the phone. I more than cherished Jackie, for she was the sister I never had. Thanks for that wonderful post. I, too, found smiles through the tears.

B

I'll humbly add a third to this....When I stayed with Jackie in May '07, I said those exact words to her through an evening of private conversation.....I told her "You know Jackie, I never had a sister, but if I did I would want her to be you." And, of course, her reply....."Oh, honey..." and that beautiful smile...

Lenny





seems it really was the same for many of us. i always wanted an older sister, one who would tell me about things and where i could learn about life...which is what jackie became for me.  :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 25, 2008, 12:59:42 PM
(((((((((((Jari)))))))))  Another beautiful thing that made me feel better. I wanted to come to the BBQ very badly. I even had a plane booked for a good hour, lol. I remember calling Linda at the last minute, and then Jackie called me, and we were trying to organize this, when I realized I could not afford the flight and had to cancel. So heartbreaking. I'm sure Linda and Melissa remember that!

But I wish very badly I could have been there. Colorado was maybe like my first BBQ  (:  But to have been in your/Jackie's dream BBQ is like fulfilling a dream to me somehow, since I didn't get to be at the real BBQ. I hope you are right that Jackie was dreaming of that. Thanks so much for sharing it.

Sorry, my English language is starting to break down. Thoughts are stupidly hard to put into words right now. But I hope you know what I mean  *hug*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 25, 2008, 12:59:43 PM

I just wanted to quickly throw in my thanks to Paula for sharing - like Nellie said, a priceless post.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 12:59:47 PM
Hello friends,

I wanted to throw this "out there"...

Another part of the conversation I had with Paula yesterday....she was mentioning to me about how her family was looking at this thread...pictures...all sorts and they were going to print all 80+ pages....I said WAIT

I thought I heard one of you guys mentioning how great it would be if we can get together a book of some sorts...or just make copies and get something together for Jackie's family...I think this would be the least we can do for her kindness and gratitude we all have for them....a little something to "give" from us.......

((((hugs))))


your amiga

Nellie

Hi Everyone -

Dave, Lydia and others are looking into the feasibility and logistical questions about producing a memorial/honorarium book for Jackie's family.  We're running a little bit behind on that, due to the pressing Variety ad deadline for Heath, and trying to help console and comfort many people who are suffering greatly.  The ad is finished and you can see it  here. (http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28516.msg1158045#msg1158045)

Please know that every possible effort is being made to honor our beloved Jackie.  Updates will be provided ASAP.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 01:37:14 PM
dear paula,
i read your lines this morning, and i'm in tears. i'm martina, from austria. i've never met jackie in person, i wasn't able to attend the US gatherings. this june would have been the first time jackie and i would have met in person. but that doesn't mean that we didn't "meet" - i can't count the numbers of hours we've chatted...they were so precious to me. like for so many others here, jackie was the older sister to me that i never had and always wished to have.

your graciousness is bigger than anything we could have hoped for..thank you from the depth of my heart.

Paula, it's Brad. I cherish the patches and the t-shirts and our great conversation on the phone. I more than cherished Jackie, for she was the sister I never had. Thanks for that wonderful post. I, too, found smiles through the tears.

B

I'll humbly add a third to this....When I stayed with Jackie in May '07, I said those exact words to her through an evening of private conversation.....I told her "You know Jackie, I never had a sister, but if I did I would want her to be you." And, of course, her reply....."Oh, honey..." and that beautiful smile...

Lenny





seems it really was the same for many of us. i always wanted an older sister, one who would tell me about things and where i could learn about life...which is what jackie became for me.  :)

and to add to all this....I have 2 sisters...one older and one younger..and even though I love my sisters dearly,there's things I shared with Jackie,as a sister should have,that I have never shared with my real sisters.....God,I'm going to miss that..
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 01:39:51 PM
Talking about dreams.... you know that I'm rather sensible guy and not Shirley MacLaine but I still have to tell you this. Tuesday night, night before Jackie died, I saw a dream about her. We were sitting on grass in Auntie's backyard in Texas... there were many people from BBQ, I remember Nick and Rob standing somewhere behind me, Red, Fritzie, Terry, Wayne  and many others and some who weren't in BBQ but were in my dream like Jess and Lenny...  Nellie was sitting with me and Jackie and she was singing or humming somekind of lullaby.... Jackie was smiling and laughing and she held a small bouguet made of lilies of the valley. And there was sun and light and joy.

This may sound weird but after I heard that Jackie had passed away, I had this idea that maybe... what if I was visiting her dream. That it was the place where she was in her dreams the night before she died. And that we were all there to send her on her way.



(((((((((((((((((((((((( JARI ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

What a wonderful dream....it really touched  my heart  :'( :'( :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 25, 2008, 01:40:26 PM
Dear Paula,

I am at a loss for words right now, but I do wish to express my gratitude for your amazing post.
In all my sadness and grieving, it has brought a little light.
I am the Dutch guy that accompanied Jackie last May from Texas to Estes Park, Colorado, and back again - an unforgettable experience, that brought her and me even closer together than we already were.
I cannot even begin to tell you how much Jackie meant to me. I feel so grateful that she has been in my life, even though it was only for 15 months.
I will never forget her, I will always love her.
An angel.

Thank you again,
Marc
the Netherlands
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 25, 2008, 02:06:30 PM
I hope this doesn't seem self-serving, but it's a special bond I made with Jackie quite accidentally. I posted this on some Juicy Bits thread eons ago on the spur of the moment. Jackie told me she was going to print it out and carry it with her all the time. I thought that sounded nice, but didn't think she would really do it. I met her a couple weeks later in Chicago for the first time, and she whipped it out to prove me wrong. Since then, every time I see her, if I got down on myself, she would reach for her purse and say, "don't make me get it out..." LOL. I was very touched when I learned that she read it aloud to everyone at the most recent DC Slash Bash while I was elsewhere. She knew how embarrassed I was by stuff like that, and I know now that it really did touch her, she didn't just say so for my benefit. I love you Jackie.

Sometimes this... this story makes me dizzy with emotions, with the utter human baggage of love, hate, fear, desperation, hope, excitement, tenacity, regret, bitterness, inspiration, the sagging weight of need, the needing weight of love, the loving weight of hope, the hoping weight of memory. Some mornings I wake up Ennis, feet stiff with feelings I wish I didn't have to feel, regrets thick like molassas, and nameless. Other mornings I wake up Jack, world fresh and new, the carousel already painted-- today is another day, with such hope in it. Most days I feel balanced on the precarious edge, middle-aged Jack, regrets and hope curdling each other. It's strange how one story can sing to me the song of all of humanity since the beginning of time, humanize every victim, make bitter every love, make swallowing every obsession, make dark every dream, make sacred every hope. Every color metallic, every touch meaningful. Every, every, every.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 02:08:26 PM
Wonderful, Jess. She carried several posts from members with her all the time. They were in her purse, to be sure, but more importantly, they were in her heart.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 25, 2008, 02:11:04 PM
impressive, expressive writing, jess.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 25, 2008, 02:25:25 PM
Talking about dreams.... you know that I'm rather sensible guy and not Shirley MacLaine but I still have to tell you this. Tuesday night, night before Jackie died, I saw a dream about her. We were sitting on grass in Auntie's backyard in Texas... there were many people from BBQ, I remember Nick and Rob standing somewhere behind me, Red, Fritzie, Terry, Wayne  and many others and some who weren't in BBQ but were in my dream like Jess and Lenny...  Nellie was sitting with me and Jackie and she was singing or humming somekind of lullaby.... Jackie was smiling and laughing and she held a small bouguet made of lilies of the valley. And there was sun and light and joy.

This may sound weird but after I heard that Jackie had passed away, I had this idea that maybe... what if I was visiting her dream. That it was the place where she was in her dreams the night before she died. And that we were all there to send her on her way.



((((((((((( Jari )))))))))))

I think your interpretation of your dream sounds exactly right.  Beautiful.  I can't wait to pick the Lily of the Valley when they bloom this spring.  I'll be thinking of Jackie and of you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: marakeshsparrow on January 25, 2008, 02:26:45 PM
I thought I should stop by and just drop a line.  This is the first time I've been on the forum in a while.  And it's been to hard this week.

But this is for Jackie. 

I wasn't very close with her.  But I knew from the moment I'd met her, what a sweet and wonderful person she was. 

Some people just shine.  And she was one of them.  I remember she was the very first person I met when I nervously wandered to the Adobo Grill for the Midwest slash bash.  She was standing outside having a smoke--and there was something about her.  Something friendly, and something familiar.  I moved towards her and I guess she could tell I was a Brokie, because she gave me a huge bear hug and walked me inside.  I've never forgotten that.

My thoughts go out to her family, and all the people her life has touched.  I'm sure she's having a ball wherever she be. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Osprey on January 25, 2008, 02:29:23 PM
Jari,

Like you, I would never consider myself someone who had an intimate relationship with the other side.  That is the first dream I have ever had like that.  I dream of my mom and dad and it is always in a family setting somehow and those dreams seem so totally natural, just part of sleeping well I would say.  But this one,  this one was something else entirely.  I have never dreamed about the people I was with and I have never dreamed about the hotel in Jackson Hole, in fact I have not even thought about that hotel in a very long time.  But this dream seemed so incredilbly real, it was stunningly vivid.  My dreams never wake me but this one did.  In all honesty, it frightened me.  The fear only lasted until I realized it was a dream, but for those few seconds, I'll bet my blood pressure was nearly off the charts.  I will never forget this dream for as long as I live.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 25, 2008, 02:50:24 PM
Marakesh-- this one's from Melissa's vid

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn279%2Fspacegal471%2FPersonal%2Fjackie.png&hash=ddc8dd22aa81e9932fe8c1ea5c48b62f)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 25, 2008, 03:03:10 PM
That's Maureen, 3rd from right in the above pic, standing next to Rodney.

I sent Maureen a copy of Paula's post, and here's her reply:

---------------------------------------------------------------

Dearest John:

I'm moved to tears. 

Jackie certainly raised a golden, prize-winning son who chose for his bride the perfect daughter-in-law for Jackie and her family.

Many Many blessings to Jackie's family both related and not...but all related in spirit and in love.

I love You...John-John

Maureen
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 25, 2008, 03:16:14 PM
I thought I should stop by and just drop a line.  This is the first time I've been on the forum in a while.  And it's been to hard this week.

Thanks so much for stopping by - it's good to hear from you.  And thanks to (the other) Jess for posting your pic.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 04:09:16 PM
Is anybody out there??  I need to talk.

Paula
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 25, 2008, 04:10:46 PM
Is anybody out there??  I need to talk.

Paula

Hi Paula - I'm about if I can help

Sal     ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 04:14:39 PM
Hello beautiful people,

Alright,in one hour I will be leaving to the airport and I am asking all who are attending to PLEASE give Adrian a final head count for Saturday and another for the folks that will be staying with Paula and her family...Gosh...saying all this sounds so insane...we're actually having a slumber party with Jackie's family.......whew...so many emotions here

Okay...Adrian is going to call me as soon as I touch the ground in DC and I have to immediately contact Paula...so please send him a PM ASAP!

I'm so looking forward to seeing you there,and remember,those who couldn't make it...PLEASE know that you will be mentioned and thought of tomorrow...our hugs and tears will be from ALL OF US!...you HEAR me?

God Bless

your amiga,

Nellie XO
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 04:14:55 PM
Hi Paula

I am here too...

How are you doing darling?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 25, 2008, 04:17:34 PM
Paula, I'm here as well.

I read your post from last night not long ago, it was really very touching.  Thank you for taking the time to come here and post it.

Monica
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Caithness on January 25, 2008, 04:20:47 PM
Is anybody out there??  I need to talk.

Paula

Paula,

If you need to speak by telephone, I would be pleased to do so.  I am Malcolm, Jackie's friend (and host in Texas this past May/June).

xxxxxx

I have been in touch with Jessica.  Best wishes and best love to everyone.

Malcolm


post edited by LoveEmBoys to remove personal information.  I have PMd your phone number to Paula, Malcolm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 04:24:55 PM
Safe journey, (((Nellie)))   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 25, 2008, 04:29:29 PM
Best wishes Nell.  As I told Fritz, please leave a tear behind for me.   :-*

Mitchell
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 04:29:43 PM
Is anybody out there??  I need to talk.

Paula

Paula...my gosh....I tried calling you,the line is busy
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 04:30:29 PM
I'm sitting here in Jackie's apt, just balling my eyes out.  Everything around me just reminds me of her, smells like her, brings memories of her.  I just can't stop crying.  I'm here still, all alone, because I'm trying to burn her photos to disks, so that I can have them ready for slideshows tomorrow.  I want to show you all how much you mean to her, how she cherished every moment with you, how she held thoughts of all of you so deeply in her heart and soul.  I want to get the shows together, and make copies of disks for all of you.  I want everything to be perfect, my God!  I didn't even feel this way about my wedding day.  I had a couple of weeks to plan that one; this is just to fast.  It wasn't supposed to happen this way.  Sorry I'm rambling, I can barely see the keyboard, and I'm shaking to hard to make any sense.  Thanks for listening.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 04:31:46 PM
Have a safe trip, Nellie!

I'm here too, Paula, Fritz from Virginia, and I will be bringing Nellie and Dave from the Metro station to Jackie's place tomorrow.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 25, 2008, 04:32:37 PM
I'm sitting here in Jackie's apt, just balling my eyes out.  Everything around me just reminds me of her, smells like her, brings memories of her.  I just can't stop crying.  I'm here still, all alone, because I'm trying to burn her photos to disks, so that I can have them ready for slideshows tomorrow.  I want to show you all how much you mean to her, how she cherished every moment with you, how she held thoughts of all of you so deeply in her heart and soul.  I want to get the shows together, and make copies of disks for all of you.  I want everything to be perfect, my God!  I didn't even feel this way about my wedding day.  I had a couple of weeks to plan that one; this is just to fast.  It wasn't supposed to happen this way.  Sorry I'm rambling, I can barely see the keyboard, and I'm shaking to hard to make any sense.  Thanks for listening.

Ramble away Paula.

I will be there with you in spirit tomorrow.

Sal      ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 25, 2008, 04:32:51 PM
Paula...  Hugs to you.  Take a moment to breathe.

It is such an incredible thing that you are doing inviting her friends to come and gather tomorrow -- THAT ALONE is more than any of us had a right to ask you to do.  Please don't over extend yourself on the slideshow project --- as you can see, we have no shortage.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 04:34:17 PM
Oh ((((((((((((((((((((((PAULA)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Just your being there tomorrow will be wonderful, but just be ready to experience a lot of hugs! I was just making a list of all the people who PM'ed me since the middle of the week to pass along greetings, condolences and big bear hugs to you and all of your family, to remember one incredibly special lady.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 25, 2008, 04:34:55 PM
I'm sitting here in Jackie's apt, just balling my eyes out.  Everything around me just reminds me of her, smells like her, brings memories of her.  I just can't stop crying.  I'm here still, all alone, because I'm trying to burn her photos to disks, so that I can have them ready for slideshows tomorrow.  I want to show you all how much you mean to her, how she cherished every moment with you, how she held thoughts of all of you so deeply in her heart and soul.  I want to get the shows together, and make copies of disks for all of you.  I want everything to be perfect, my God!  I didn't even feel this way about my wedding day.  I had a couple of weeks to plan that one; this is just to fast.  It wasn't supposed to happen this way.  Sorry I'm rambling, I can barely see the keyboard, and I'm shaking to hard to make any sense.  Thanks for listening.

(((PAULA)))

All the way from the Netherlands, I am with you...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: huntinbuddy on January 25, 2008, 04:36:43 PM
Paula, we are all here for you.  I read your first post from the early morning hours, and I'm speechless.  My prayers are still with you and all of Jackie's family during this time.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Nax on January 25, 2008, 04:37:42 PM
((((((((((((((((((((((((Paula)))))))))))))))))))))))))

It's the same here when I go into threads where I expect to find her.

Peace

Neil.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 25, 2008, 04:37:56 PM
snerk...  Yes, we are all here for you -- except me actually.  My apologies but I need to go.  I leave you, Paula, in the hands of these very capable people!

Take care -- I will not be able to join you tomorrow, but you will most certainly be in my thoughts.

Monica
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 04:38:41 PM
Yes, Paula, my choir and I are praying for you and your family to get through the time of sadness to when it can finally be suffused with joy.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 25, 2008, 04:40:32 PM
Have a safe trip, hermana... I will be there in spirit, like so many of us :-*...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: graylockV on January 25, 2008, 04:42:40 PM
Hello Paula -

We haven't met.  I live over in Northern Virginia, and I was wondering if you would like a hand tomorrow morning in getting things ready.  I could show up earlier than 1 PM.  Whatever you need.

And remember - I know you want things to be "perfect," but perfection is not a realistic standard for us mere mortals!

Richard
(greylocke)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chapeaugris on January 25, 2008, 04:43:28 PM
Paula, if that green wind chime is still hanging in the corner by the computer (my gift to Jackie), give it a nudge tomorrow and that will be me saying bonjour to everyone.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 04:44:20 PM
I'm sitting here in Jackie's apt, just balling my eyes out.  Everything around me just reminds me of her, smells like her, brings memories of her.  I just can't stop crying.  I'm here still, all alone, because I'm trying to burn her photos to disks, so that I can have them ready for slideshows tomorrow.  I want to show you all how much you mean to her, how she cherished every moment with you, how she held thoughts of all of you so deeply in her heart and soul.  I want to get the shows together, and make copies of disks for all of you.  I want everything to be perfect, my God!  I didn't even feel this way about my wedding day.  I had a couple of weeks to plan that one; this is just to fast.  It wasn't supposed to happen this way.  Sorry I'm rambling, I can barely see the keyboard, and I'm shaking to hard to make any sense.  Thanks for listening.

Paula sweetheart...  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

You are not alone we are all with you... Look around....  :)

And Jackie had a bottle of Brandy (for medicinal purposes ya understand)... I think it was in the kitchen, if its not all gone... Go and pour yourself a large one, and just think of sweet Jackie..

Have a look out the balcony, she always loved that view....  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 25, 2008, 04:45:28 PM
Paula, you will be in capable hands with Fritz and Nellie and Dave with you.  I don't know who else from the forum is going, but I know there are dozens of us who will be there in spirit. 

I know what you mean about her smells and her spirit all around you.  I have one of my mother's jewelry boxes - she kept mostly her earrings and rings in it - and even though we bought a jewelry armoire and moved all the shiny pretty things into it, I cannot get rid of the case - it smells of her still even ten years after she has passed.  Her perfumes and her hair and her skin.  It just reminds me of "mom" every time I open it.  Revel in it for as long as you can.

Heidi
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 04:48:09 PM
Hey Heidi,

Great to see you... :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 25, 2008, 04:52:19 PM
Goodnight everyone, and good luck tomorrow...

Hugs from Holland
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 04:53:41 PM
Goedenacht en welterusten, ((((((((((MARC))))))))))!!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 25, 2008, 04:54:06 PM
Paula,

There is alway someone around here, so don't hesitate....  :-*

Our friends from across the pond should really try and get some
good sleep and rest up.

See you Nell, as everyone else... I'll be thinking 'bout y'all.


   mod... Hey Fritz, just saw your post.....   lucky you, getting to be there tomorrow.

               be sure and give everyone a good and tight hug from me.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 25, 2008, 04:59:20 PM
I'm sitting here in Jackie's apt, just balling my eyes out.  Everything around me just reminds me of her, smells like her, brings memories of her.  I just can't stop crying.  I'm here still, all alone, because I'm trying to burn her photos to disks, so that I can have them ready for slideshows tomorrow.  I want to show you all how much you mean to her, how she cherished every moment with you, how she held thoughts of all of you so deeply in her heart and soul.  I want to get the shows together, and make copies of disks for all of you.  I want everything to be perfect, my God!  I didn't even feel this way about my wedding day.  I had a couple of weeks to plan that one; this is just to fast.  It wasn't supposed to happen this way.  Sorry I'm rambling, I can barely see the keyboard, and I'm shaking to hard to make any sense.  Thanks for listening.

Just wanted to send my love from Ontario, Canada.........Jackie was a dear friend to me (although we never met) and I am going to miss her forever.

God bless you.   :-* :'( :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 04:59:35 PM
Gerry, your name was already on the list!

Big hugs to you and Jack!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 05:00:13 PM
As is yours, Lola.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 25, 2008, 05:02:32 PM
Hey Heidi,

Great to see you... :-*

you too Wayne.  It's been a while, eh?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 25, 2008, 05:07:25 PM
Have a safe trip, hermana... I will be there in spirit, like so many of us :-*...

Thank you EVERYONE for your good wishes.....:-*

I LOVE you Paula.....can't wait to wrap my arms around you!!  Hang in there.....this crazy Rican is gonna hug you to pieces!!! :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 25, 2008, 05:08:14 PM

We are better for having known her.

Much love,

Jenny

Truer words were never spoken.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 25, 2008, 05:09:49 PM
Guys,

My eyes are closing here at the computer... Its after midnight...

Paula, hang in there sweetheart... Wish I could be with you physically tomorrow...

Will check in, in the morning...

And you have my number, call me at any time...

Wayne
XXXXX 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 25, 2008, 05:10:13 PM

These posts sound so incredible.  I should be reading them instead of ironing your sheets!  David
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 05:10:37 PM
Have a restful sleep, dear Wayne.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 25, 2008, 05:16:41 PM

These posts sound so incredible.  I should be reading them instead of ironing your sheets!  David

David, you aren't really ironing sheets are you?  ;D

I wish we could all be there with Paula and the rest of Jackie's family.  Please extend our hugs and love to everyone there.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 05:25:25 PM
Dave, one more post and you'll be at 1776! That's the spirit!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 25, 2008, 05:29:53 PM

These posts sound so incredible.  I should be reading them instead of ironing your sheets!  David

David, you aren't really ironing sheets are you?  ;D

I wish we could all be there with Paula and the rest of Jackie's family.  Please extend our hugs and love to everyone there.

Yes, Nellie can't sleep on just any sheets.  Since she is crashing here for the night, thought it was the least I could do.
Actually I always iron the sheets, I'm compulsive that way.

And Paula, I haven't met you yet, or even read your posts.  But I have them printed out and the minute things are in order here  ::)
I will try and catch up.

David
read them.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 25, 2008, 05:30:23 PM
I will also be there in spirit tomorrow, Paula.

And I look forward to meeting you in Wyoming!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 05:30:35 PM
Yay, Dave!

1776!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 25, 2008, 05:33:01 PM

These posts sound so incredible.  I should be reading them instead of ironing your sheets!  David

David, you aren't really ironing sheets are you?  ;D

I wish we could all be there with Paula and the rest of Jackie's family.  Please extend our hugs and love to everyone there.

Absolutely!!  That's what we are going to be there for.  For EVERYONE!!!  We will be thinking of all of you tomorrow at Jackie's.

Ah!  The car is back.  Off for some quick errands before the plane arrives.  Later........
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 25, 2008, 05:35:36 PM
Hi Paula, this is Jackie's friend Mitch from Maine.  Thank you for your wonderful post about Jaclyn.  It put an instant lump in my throat to see your words about our dear friend.  She is so blessed to have you as her DIL and Mark as a son.  She spoke very highly of you anytime I talked with her on the phone.  The last time I got to do that was during the afternoon of December 31st.........it was the 2nd anniversary of me seeing Brokeback Mountain and I called to let her know I was thinking of her and how grateful I was to know her. (I met her in Bay City, Michigan last February)  I could tell she wasn't feeling the best that day, as she wasn't her usual cheerful self when we spoke.  Even so, she tried to mask her discomfort and change the subject (by saying something like, "oh let's not talk about little ole me)by instead, making sure things were well in my neck of the woods and well with Terry (another thing she prided having a part in :)).....  We ended with her asking me, "You know I love you Mitchell?"  And I know she truly did. 

It's difficult for me to fathom that someone I met in person, just less than a year ago, could have that much impact in such a short amount of time.  It's more difficult to know I won't see her smiling face in here at any given moments notice - but when left with the choice of never knowing Jackie and being able to skip this grieving part.......or the choice of being blessed by knowing Jackie and shedding tears for the loss of a friend - well, there is no choice.  I'm a better person today for knowing her and I thank God for the time he gave me with her......and to all of us here on the forum. 

Stay strong Paula and know we are here to help you and your family through this.  I hope that all the wondeful pictures/posts that people have shared may somehow lighten the heavy burden of grief you are carrying. 

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Love & peace,

Mitchell
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 25, 2008, 05:59:41 PM
From Jackie's posts:

"How's this for a "hand-me-down?  My dad brought this kimono from Japan, just after WWII.  By the time I'm wearing it, it was a Hallowe'en costume.  All my younger sisters wore it too."

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2Fhalloween.jpg&hash=5cd213fb24efb590c07c9c7e525e29a1)

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 25, 2008, 06:00:54 PM
"Here's me at age 18.  Jackie, USAF   Was I really that young...and that THIN?"

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi39.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe154%2Ftwtaylor%2Fscan0002.jpg&hash=a8c691b67be95cf6a4b6010898bae910)

what a sweetheart...........

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: atruant on January 25, 2008, 06:01:22 PM
Hey Paula,

John from British Columbia here. Chuck and I had lots of chats with Jackie in Colorado last summer, and fell in love with her.

We will be with you in spirit tomorrow.

You're in great hands with Fritz, Nellie, Dave and crew....

Hugs,
John
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 25, 2008, 06:04:04 PM
Terry.......thank you for bringing instant smiles with those.  :)  You done good!  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 25, 2008, 06:07:17 PM
...
This may sound weird but after I heard that Jackie had passed away, I had this idea that maybe... what if I was visiting her dream. That it was the place where she was in her dreams the night before she died. And that we were all there to send her on her way.

(((((((((Jari)))))))))
This doesn't sound weird at all. I am quite positive that you were in contact with Jackie... I say this based on my experience from the night before my dad passed and a 'dream' I had quite recently about my birth-mum.

... I guess I can only try and understand it as something going on on another frequency...

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 06:12:05 PM
Can someone please post the photo of Jackie at the Metro station-- the one where she looks so energetic and full of life?  I'm at the building right now and getting the Memorial notice together, to let the residents know about her passing.  I really would love to put that particular photo on the notice-- such a great way to be remembered...  I only have a few minutes on the Mgr's computer, so PLEASE HURRY!!  Thanks,  Paula
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 25, 2008, 06:15:12 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi34.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fd145%2Fcccccarol%2Freeseandjake%2FIMG_1384.jpg&hash=f2125160a1b5ee901596be97e1ddcaa1)

This??
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 25, 2008, 06:15:43 PM
Dear Paula,

I'm not sure if Jackie ever mentioned me to you. We were close, but not as close as time and geography would allow. I am the singer from the Bay City Oscar Night event, perhaps Jackie played the DVD for you. I remember zoning in on Jackie's face in the audience during the performance. There were moments during the concert that I thought I was going to lose it onstage as it was an incredibly emotional evening - then I would see her face smiling at me from beneath the spotlight's beam and I was okay.

I wish I could be there tomorrow, I would love to sing a song for Jackie. But I will sing one for her here. I think she would like that..

May the knowledge of Jackie's profound and enduring impact on so many lives bring you comfort in the days ahead.

With affection,
Trish
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JackiesDIL on January 25, 2008, 06:16:35 PM
One more soul saved by you.  Thank you soooooo much!!

Paula ;-)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: twtplanner on January 25, 2008, 06:18:05 PM
Lola, you beat me to it!   ;)

terry
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 25, 2008, 06:19:58 PM
Well I have been stealing pics left right and centre and I knew I saved that one, I loved it!!!  :D

I can hear her singing New York New York..........I miss her!  :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 25, 2008, 06:26:01 PM
I miss her too.

 :(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 25, 2008, 06:31:35 PM
I've been reviewing some of the last messages between Jackie & I on the forum - one, which is quite funny, is when she says 'Cool beans' in response to my pointing out that it looks like Jari was in Dr. Who's TARDIS while in the UK.  The other was in response to my remembering my friend Tom over in the 'Mourning Someone Who Has Died' thread:

Michael, thank you for your reminiscences of your good friend, Tom Henry.  Through you, we are all enriched by the glimpse into his life.   :-* :-* :-*

I can only say how much we were enriched by your life Jackie - thank YOU so very, very much!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 25, 2008, 07:00:48 PM


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff55%2Fmwruzzoli%2Fjackiemitch4.jpg&hash=de112eb50ef5427717d40b4b051c7dc4)

So yes, we all lost a very dear, special person today, but, I know we all gained an angel.  Rest in peace, beloved Jaclyn. 

Mitchell 

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly prercious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shead a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light




Mitch,

I wanted to thank you for posting the Celine Dion song.....it is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard and I had forgotten about it. I downloaded it from ITunes as soon as I read your post. I am putting together a new band with my husband, where I will be singing only songs I WANT to sing, not songs for weddings and parties. It's something I've been wanting and needing to do for a long time, to nurture my creative spirit, because it's not often I have an audience like in Bay City. Usually I'm singing for my supper, not just for the love of singing. This song is going to be in the new repertoire.

I spoke to Jackie many times about my artistic goals, and of course, she was always so encouraging. As I sing "Fly",  I will see our "precious one", "crossing over to the other shore", "upon the winds of heaven's love".

Thanks again.  :)


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: TwistEnnis on January 25, 2008, 07:37:40 PM
Since this is a tribute for Jackie....I think it only fitting that we include her story from the book, Beyond Brokeback, a project she was involved with and loved. 

 
What I Need (page 199)

-paintedshoes

Brokeback Mountain allowed me to come to terms with some issues in my past, but somewhere, lurking in the back of my mind, I knew there was more; I just couldn't find it.  In the last few days, I have pieced together my thoughts, fears, and needs, to explain to myself what happened to me.

It was after reading the story three times, searching my soul long and hard, and facing what I knew to be the truth, that I made a radical decision:  I quit my job after nineteen years!  I can't believe I'm putting it in writing.  I'm staying on to wrap up some projects, but I'm out at the end of the month.  I'm looking for a job, though no prospects yet.  I'm divorced, fifty-seven  years old, with two kids and five grandchildren, and I did the stupidest and bravest thing I may have done in my life.

I can't live in misery for fear of what the future may hold, not anymore.  I am laughing to myself, at myself because- though on some level I'm scared to death- I feel a lightness of heart that I have not felt in forever.  None of you here made my decision for me, but all of you here enveloped me in love, compassion, and understanding.  You helped me to come to terms with myself and what I need for myself, not for what I thought other people expected.  Bless you all. 

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 07:39:19 PM
Bless you, Jackie. Thank you.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: KittyHawk on January 25, 2008, 07:41:21 PM
I feel so lucky to have her autograph and a sweet message in my book on that page.
We only met once,  briefly in Estes Park. She was so generous to take her time to sign my book.

- KittyHawk
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desperadum on January 25, 2008, 07:54:00 PM
When Jackie was in New York during Wayne's visit last summer, and a group of us got together for dinner (as documented in some earlier pictures on this thread), she produced her copy of the book and asked me, and others, to sign it. I was taken aback - I said, "Damn, Jackie, I should have brought my copy for you to sign!" I truly didn't feel worthy. I'm glad I got to write a little inscription to "Sweet Jackie" not realizing I would never see her again.

Sorry I can't be there tomorrow but will surely be there in spirit, just as the hearts and minds and thoughts of others in far-flung places will turn toward College Park, MD.

John
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: wyomen on January 25, 2008, 07:56:26 PM
I dreamt of Jackie last night. With the Wyoming wind tapping on the glass she sat with me and talked of many things. At the end she wished me goodnight like she had so many times before. I woke with a light heart until I turned on the news and saw that Heath was gone. I knew that Jackie was too. But I know she is watching over us. And she is here with us in our hearts.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 08:00:43 PM
Dana! Don't run away before I can tell you hi and that I've missed you!  :-*  :-*  :-*

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: wyomen on January 25, 2008, 08:03:37 PM
Dana! Don't run away before I can tell you hi and that I've missed you!  :-*  :-*  :-*



One of Jackie's last pm's to me mentioned that we needed to figure out a way to keep RL from keeping us apart!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 08:04:22 PM
Amen to that, Dana.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: michaelflanagansf on January 25, 2008, 08:05:38 PM
Dana! Don't run away before I can tell you hi and that I've missed you!  :-*  :-*  :-*



^^^  What he said Dana!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: karind1 on January 25, 2008, 09:05:39 PM
since I disappeared for so long, I am going to ask a question that may sound stupid, here goes....where is the brokeback mountain that jackies ashes are going to be let go?  in alberta, wyoming, where???   thanks karin
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Adrian on January 25, 2008, 09:09:27 PM
It's Wyoming Karin.  The family is thinking sometime in June.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 09:09:51 PM
There is a mountain in Big Horn County in north central Wyoming called Brokenback Mountain, quite possibly a source of the name as used by Annie Proulx. I believe the intention of the family is to have the ashes scattered atop the one there.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Passion on January 25, 2008, 09:10:21 PM
since I disappeared for so long, I am going to ask a question that may sound stupid, here goes....where is the brokeback mountain that jackies ashes are going to be let go?  in alberta, wyoming, where???   thanks karin
Well, at least you have the excuse for being gone so long (hi btw!).....I have been here and have never left and I wanted to ask the question but was afraid to because I thought I might be the only one that doesn't know!  Thanks for asking for me!  xo
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: karind1 on January 25, 2008, 09:14:15 PM
It's Wyoming Karin.  The family is thinking sometime in June.
thanks Adrian.  when it gets nailed down, where in Wyoming, I would like to know exactly.  Like will it be Brokenback mountain?  or somewhere else.  I still have a ton of old postcards from the time when Jack and Ennis would have lived - and one or two old maps of Wyoming.  I hear eBay is filled with pics and things about Heath.  I wouldn't and couldn't denigrate his memory by making money on it.  It was different when he was alive and when the movie was so loved by so many.  xxoo
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 25, 2008, 09:21:33 PM
Dana! Don't run away before I can tell you hi and that I've missed you!  :-*  :-*  :-*



^^^  What he said Dana!
and i have made my pitch via pm already.  stay, and/or stay in touch, you are missed.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovelyamazing on January 25, 2008, 09:22:58 PM
I am putting together a new band with my husband, where I will be singing only songs I WANT to sing, not songs for weddings and parties. It's something I've been wanting and needing to do for a long time, to nurture my creative spirit, because it's not often I have an audience like in Bay City. Usually I'm singing for my supper, not just for the love of singing. This song is going to be in the new repertoire.

I spoke to Jackie many times about my artistic goals, and of course, she was always so encouraging. As I sing "Fly",  I will see our "precious one", "crossing over to the other shore", "upon the winds of heaven's love".

Thanks again.  :)





I just can't wait to hear you sing that dear Trish :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 09:22:59 PM
If you've got access to a map, Karen, the coordinates are 44 deg 12.05 min N, 107 dec 15.74 min W.

It's accessible via a series of unpaved roads off US 16 north of the town of Ten Sleep, Wyoming.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 25, 2008, 09:39:50 PM
Some videos taken atop the mountain, as well as on the roads going up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=253FxL4zHB0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ffDzfe0HhU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnvaZHOZN-E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8InLzqjnI4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqbD67effjM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWDVfmXP54E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3zmllFKSfA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDEObnmW0b4

Just realized, these are in reverse order. The series starts on the lowermost link.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 10:16:37 PM
Can't remember which ones I might have posted, so there might be a rerun or two.....

The back steps at Linda's - where I first met PaintedShoes & her radiant smile in person ....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3104.jpg&hash=000f4f540e02465d4883fb3098d1c428)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 10:17:57 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3132.jpg&hash=c8d08cc98404bdb9cc541c86b5b9ac4a)

Fritz ~ John/RedBrit ~ Jackie ~ me ~ Conny kl'k kl'k
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 10:19:02 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3155.jpg&hash=d6228fdeab734ffb0a2b2fd721b6796a)

David & Jackie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 10:20:26 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3203.jpg&hash=a11fcff6951ca7287cdf32da9d3cae18)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 10:21:17 PM
Just because.....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3254.jpg&hash=9c183fd092ba926747ea20201806f303)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 25, 2008, 10:36:25 PM
Jackie has to have one of these....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sunponyranch.com%2Fimages%2FHeath%2520Ad%2520Final%2520sm.jpg&hash=e325ddd972efdfafa9167ff292ebad68)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 25, 2008, 11:45:04 PM
I can hear her singing New York New York..........I miss her!  :'(

that would have been jackie's dream career....when she started her new job and was hurting so much from standing all day, we talked about alternative careers for her. she said she wished she was young and beautiful and had a beautiful voice, so she could become a singer. i told her that she herself and her voice IS beautiful, and i could perfectly imagine her as an entertainer...you know, in long, sparkling gold robes....can you see that ? in that moment, i saw her on that stage...she would have made so many people happy.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desertrat on January 25, 2008, 11:49:18 PM
i don't have the opportunity to be around today, and unfortunately i can't go to the US either. i would give so much to be there. but there are people depending on me, and i can't let them down.  i will think of you, all day, and be there in spirit with you. may you all have a good day, of healing, of friendships and of love.

hugs & love,
martina
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Brokeback_1 on January 25, 2008, 11:52:04 PM
Good Luck with The Ball Martina!!!

You know as well as I do that she would want it to go without a hitch...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 26, 2008, 12:25:41 AM
I dreamt of Jackie last night. With the Wyoming wind tapping on the glass she sat with me and talked of many things. At the end she wished me goodnight like she had so many times before. I woke with a light heart until I turned on the news and saw that Heath was gone. I knew that Jackie was too. But I know she is watching over us. And she is here with us in our hearts.


(((((((hugs)))))))))


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Saena on January 26, 2008, 12:26:26 AM
Tonight at our campus Tolkien Society meeting (I know, I'm a big dork- shush, you) we made plans to inscribe a 50th anniversary copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with a wonderful poem called "The Old Walking Song" and donate it to our library, in memory of a dear friend and club member who passed away last May. I wanted to reprint it here in honor of Jackie and Heath, because it reminds me a little of Brokeback Mountain and of losing the ones we love. There are three versions of this song, and I will reprint them in the order they appeared on the paper copy I have. (Each stanza is a different version.)

The Old Walking Song by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.


In memory of Jackie and Heath

Saena
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 26, 2008, 12:33:01 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3132.jpg&hash=c8d08cc98404bdb9cc541c86b5b9ac4a)

Fritz ~ John/RedBrit ~ Jackie ~ me ~ Conny kl'k kl'k

thanks sweetie kl`k kl`k dont even have that one myself  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 26, 2008, 12:55:21 AM
I arrived at Washington later than planned...my flight was delayed over an hour...Chicago's weather ...I'm in David's house ....gorgeous home...the room is great,cozy.

We had some wine (which went straight to my head,btw) and talked baout Jackie...all her sweetness...telling stories of her...*sigh* ....I'm sooo tired but when I saw this picture...this is EXACTLY how I feel right now....just so surreal

there will only be about 10 of us tomorrow....but that's okay...you ALL will be in our thoughts...I swear!!

Godd night....oh wait...good morning....

(((hugs)))

Nellie

Just because.....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3254.jpg&hash=9c183fd092ba926747ea20201806f303)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 26, 2008, 01:04:35 AM
Good night, Nellie

I'll be thinking of all of you tonight.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: littledarlin on January 26, 2008, 01:10:22 AM
And by the way Paula - You are doing what we all do... Say we are going to bed and then staying here.... :-* ;D

Oh my God!  It's happening already!  OK- really... I'm going to bed now!!

Sweet dreams,

Paula ;-)

Welcome to The Hotel California... you can check out but you can never leave.  LOL  Thank you so much for your wonderful post.  I hope you finally went to bed and get some well deserved rest!  You have a very busy weekend ahead.  I wish I could be there, I will be in spirit.

hugs
karla
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: karind1 on January 26, 2008, 01:48:34 AM
If you've got access to a map, Karen, the coordinates are 44 deg 12.05 min N, 107 dec 15.74 min W.

It's accessible via a series of unpaved roads off US 16 north of the town of Ten Sleep, Wyoming.


what an angel.  thank you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: karind1 on January 26, 2008, 01:58:17 AM
Some videos taken atop the mountain, as well as on the roads going up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=253FxL4zHB0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ffDzfe0HhU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnvaZHOZN-E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8InLzqjnI4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqbD67effjM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWDVfmXP54E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3zmllFKSfA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDEObnmW0b4

Just realized, these are in reverse order. The series starts on the lowermost link.


how fabulous- i just watched a little - wow - i wish i had been there.  will watch more and savor these. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JohnnyX on January 26, 2008, 02:39:51 AM
Hello All.

Once again, I have been on here reading all day, from the beginning, and have finally reached the end, so now I am posting.

It is Saturday evening here, so your U.S. Saturday is only just beginning on the East Coast.

I would love to be there for your gathering today at Jackie's, and feel so sad that the number gathering will be so small; but Oz is a long way away.

Reading the postings of everyone on here has been SOOOOO uplifting. Thank you to all posters.
I know that if I had even 10% of this sort of posting when I pass away, that I would be thrilled beyond measure.  And of course, we all KNOW that it is ALL merited by Jackie, for the wonderful person who she was to each of us.

Jackie and I never met, and shared only a few PMs over the past year or so -- especially around the time when she was trying to give up those cigarettes. But we often shared postings on our dearly beloved AFFECTED ME thread, along with that other darling: Nellie. (Nel, you have been WONDERFUL as always with this thread. Thank you. All of the postings about Jackie's welcomes, can be echoed for you too Ms Latina loca! LOL).

Like many of you, I was just BLOWN AWAY by Paula's post.
Paula: you said the most beautiful things in that note; and at a time when you are under such emotional stress. Thank you for the lovely things which you said there, you sound as loving as Jackie was.  And I echo the others on here who say thank you to Jackie's family, for accepting us here as being part of her family, and for sharing this time with us. That is sooo magnanimous!

Best wishes, and supporting strength is extended to all in Jackie's family -- her blood family, and this cyber-family; at this emotional time.

If ever an example was evident of the GOOD things in cyber-space, for all of those cynics out there (and I was one too), this beautiful thread and its tributes to Jackie, must be high on the list.

Farewell to Jackie. Hello to All. And thank you all for sharing your memories of this lovely person with the rest of us. May they continue on here for quite a while.

Kind regards: JohnnyX in Oz.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 26, 2008, 04:19:17 AM
Hey guys,

Thanks for great overnight postings... I feel really like Jackie is here with us enveloping us in her warm and loving ways...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Sid401k on January 26, 2008, 04:42:49 AM
...there will only be about 10 of us tomorrow....but that's okay...you ALL will be in our thoughts...I swear!!

There may only be ten physically present, but there will be dozens--no, probably hundreds--of us there in spirit.
I wish I could be there with you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 26, 2008, 04:44:39 AM
I am definitely there in spirit with you guys...

And will raise a glass or two tonight in Jackie's honour.... :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 26, 2008, 06:00:26 AM
I am definitely there in spirit with you guys...

And will raise a glass or two tonight in Jackie's honour.... :)
Or three...
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 26, 2008, 06:05:27 AM
Tonight at our campus Tolkien Society meeting (I know, I'm a big dork- shush, you) we made plans to inscribe a 50th anniversary copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with a wonderful poem called "The Old Walking Song" and donate it to our library, in memory of a dear friend and club member who passed away last May. I wanted to reprint it here in honor of Jackie and Heath, because it reminds me a little of Brokeback Mountain and of losing the ones we love. There are three versions of this song, and I will reprint them in the order they appeared on the paper copy I have. (Each stanza is a different version.)

The Old Walking Song by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin,
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.


In memory of Jackie and Heath

Saena

I've always loved this poem, Saena. Thank you. Now I'll think about Jackie when reading it.

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 26, 2008, 07:30:08 AM
Perhaps today, especially, we can ensure that many candles are lit for Jackie.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=bbm
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 26, 2008, 07:55:24 AM
Its just before 3pm in London and I am thinking of you guys in Maryland, who when you reach this time, will be half way through your celebrations....  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Monica LoveEmBoys on January 26, 2008, 07:57:18 AM
Perhaps today, especially, we can ensure that many candles are lit for Jackie.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=bbm

Thanks for the reminder... The candles stay lit for 48 hours, so it was time to relight mine.

I'm assuming we are still using the 'bbm' group for Jackie?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: phrag3 on January 26, 2008, 08:20:40 AM
Yes, I certainly felt that bbm was the right group for mine.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CANSTANDIT on January 26, 2008, 08:56:24 AM
To Paula:

I was a bit later than other getting to know Jackie-but she was truly WONDERFUL.

I was deeply moved by your post, and I thank you personally, for sharing with us.

May I extend my condolences to you and your family on this immense loss.


Regards,
Jo
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: neatfreak on January 26, 2008, 09:06:00 AM
I have lit a candle in Jackie's honor.

There may be only ten people physically present at her memorial today, but I'll bet thousands are there in spirit. Include me as one who wishes she were there too.

Love to Paula and all of Jackie's family.

Betty
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: conny on January 26, 2008, 09:41:38 AM
i have a lit a candle here at my home!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 26, 2008, 10:24:38 AM
Perhaps today, especially, we can ensure that many candles are lit for Jackie.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=bbm

Thanks Dan

I have lit a candle too!!  We need more to light candles - there are only 10 there at the mo!

Sal    :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Saena on January 26, 2008, 11:01:49 AM
Hello there JohnnyX. Good to hear from you again, and thanks for the lovely post.  :-*

Saena
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: ImJackshesEnnis on January 26, 2008, 11:10:38 AM
I've lit a candle and will do more quiet devotions here at home with Carol. This is really hard for both of us - both heath and jackie in a 24 hour span.  it has rocked us to our foundations.

And yet, we still have our dailies to deal with - we have to buy a fridge today.  We have to get a gift basket for our daughter's swim buddy and take it to their swim meet (Go Panthers!!)  I had to get clementine oranges and coffee for the swimmer's breakfast today!  One son needs cough medicine.  I had to help another son shave his legs before the swim meet (don't ask! LOL!)
 
Somehow each of these little normal minutiae of a (non)typical Saturday I find myself thinking of Jackie and how she raised her kids and what was ON and IN her fridge - I mean it is very similar to when my mom passed away...you tick through your daily life and wonder how the other person did the same menial tasks.  Right down to did the toilet paper go over or under?  Every move I make I somehow connect it back to my thoughts of Jackie.  *sigh*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 26, 2008, 11:14:32 AM
I've lit a candle and will do more quiet devotions here at home with Carol. This is really hard for both of us - both heath and jackie in a 24 hour span.  it has rocked us to our foundations.

And yet, we still have our dailies to deal with - we have to buy a fridge today.  We have to get a gift basket for our daughter's swim buddy and take it to their swim meet (Go Panthers!!)  I had to get clementine oranges and coffee for the swimmer's breakfast today!  One son needs cough medicine.  I had to help another son shave his legs before the swim meet (don't ask! LOL!)
 
Somehow each of these little normal minutiae of a (non)typical Saturday I find myself thinking of Jackie and how she raised her kids and what was ON and IN her fridge - I mean it is very similar to when my mom passed away...you tick through your daily life and wonder how the other person did the same menial tasks.  Right down to did the toilet paper go over or under?  Every move I make I somehow connect it back to my thoughts of Jackie.  *sigh*

{{{{{Heidi}}}}}}

Sal      :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jimspain on January 26, 2008, 11:16:02 AM
Just back to the Forum after a very long break...Heath's death made me! And now I find Jackie has gone too. She was so sweet when I first arrived on the Forum a couple of years ago! A very special spirit! A reminder of how much each of us can carry the Divine within! Enjoy the journey, jackie!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dylan on January 26, 2008, 11:27:56 AM

Like so many many other folks I just wanted to say, I too was touched by Jackie's love and care. We exchanged PMs only once, back in September. I sent her a quick note to thank her for the kind words she posted after one of my photocaps. I also took the opportunity of saying how much I appreciated Jackie being one of the first people to welcome me to the forum, and I told her that I was still quite shy and quiet about sharing my story. She replied with such a tender and thoughtful message, and I would like to quote her words, if I may:

Quote
Oh, thank you.  Your caps speak volumes about your loving heart, friend. 

As for the shyness, don't worry. I know how overwhelming it can be around here, especially with big-mouths such as myself prattling on so much.   :D  If you would ever like to simply talk, please come into the Diner.  I KNOW that we have a reputation for being fast-paced sometimes, but we are also quite nice, and easy-going generally.  And nothing serious need be said, jsut chit-chat about food, weather, sexy guys ( ;) ), esp til you get your feet wet and realize who people are...

...or not.  No pressure, this is all at YOUR speed and comfort level.  When and if you choose to share things of a more serious nature, we are here.

Hugs,
Jackie

I can't tell you how much this warmed my heart and consoled my soul - it made me smile and gave me such reassurance and confidence!

A couple of weeks ago, I realised that it was nearly 1 year since I first posted on this forum (January 18th), and I thought that perhaps soon I would discover my own words and find the strength to share them with friends here on the forum. And I thought - when the time is right, Jackie certainly will be there to listen ...

I'm so sad that Jackie has gone, and my heart goes out to her family and friends - your are all in my thoughts and prayers. God bless and keep you PaintedShoes for the overflowing and inextinguishable love which you poured-out to both friends and strangers.

And one day soon I'm sure I'll pop 'round the Diner to say 'hello', just like she suggested!

In the meantime, in memory of Jackie and Heath at this difficult time, I would like to share this blessing:

"May your soul calm, console and renew you.
May the light of your soul guide you.
May the light of your soul bless the work you do with the secret love and warmth of your heart.
May the day never burden you.
May dawn find you awake, alert, approaching your new day with dreams, possibilities and promises.
May you go into the night blessed, sheltered and protected"


And my mind turns to these words, from a song by 'The Divine Comedy': for Heath and Jackie, and all the absent friends in our lives:

"Absent friends - here's to them!
And happy days - we thought that they would never end;
But they always end,
So raise your glasses then
To absent friends"


http://youtube.com/watch?v=LN0gl0qJAgs (http://youtube.com/watch?v=LN0gl0qJAgs)

Peace & Light

love
dylan
xxx
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: quithammerin on January 26, 2008, 11:32:15 AM
In a post a few pages back, Caithness/Malcolm said:



The best sermon ever I preached was also the shortest, in which sermon I likened the interconnected life we all share to a massive, intricate, silky, lovely spider's web.  Whenever one touches the spider's web, at any point, that touch sets the entire web a-tremble.  We never know in what faraway time and place our touch will be felt.

Jackie's touch was not only in immediate time and place, but her touch will be felt in faraway times and faraway places.  I hope that she knew the importance of her touch.  We certainly do.

It is my fondest hope to communicate, in some way, to her family just how wide-ranging and love-giving and life-giving her touch has been, and will continue to be in all those faraway times and places.

I'll chime in on that theme;  I'm quite peripheral here (I haven't met Jackie in person, haven't directly communicated with her) but there is no doubt about how much I was affected by her presence here.  Deeply affected.  It has changed my life to be one of the people who were in this community that Jackie was part of and to which she gave so much.  And I, too, want her family to know that.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 26, 2008, 11:33:05 AM
Hey everyone -

Thinking about the festivities getting underway in MD right now. Wish I was there.

I lit a candle for Jackie too. What a great place to do that for times like these.

HUGS to all - its good to know we are all here for each other.

Much Love ~

Nick
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 26, 2008, 11:56:22 AM
The candles are lit.....family and friends together in body and spirit.....remembering...honoring....

Missing you, ((((Jackie))))

Someday we'll be together
Say, say, say it again
Someday we'll be together
Oh, yeah, oh yeah

.
.
.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 26, 2008, 11:58:53 AM
To Paula and to all of our friends spending time at Jackie's today...

My love to each one of you. I'm crying now wishing I could be holding you all in my arms...

I first met Jackie in person in late May, 2006 at Brad and Steve's in south Washington State. She and Linda dropped in for a surprise visit while my Nicky was here from England. I'll never forget the surprised look on his face when Jackie and Linda walked into the kitchen at Brad's.

Jackie was loved, is loved, and is missed terribly.

Love to all there... wishing I could be there in person, I am there in spirit... please don't step on my toes...

Kisses,
Rob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: atruant on January 26, 2008, 12:00:29 PM
I just lit a candle for Jackie, also here at home.

Allow me to share with you what Jackie wrote in my copy of "Beyond Brokeback," words that were so typical of her love and graciousness:

"For John,
An example, with your husband Chuck, of the true joy of the Brokeback dream. Bless you both always.
Jackie, paintedshoes."

Love to Paula and all the family today. There are thousands with you in spirit.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Saena on January 26, 2008, 12:29:55 PM
When I left for lunch a couple hours ago, I looked at the clock and saw that it was 1:00. Everyone was just meeting up at Jackie's. I've been thinking of that ever since. Much love to you guys.

Saena
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: NickInIdaho on January 26, 2008, 12:39:38 PM
I also find it fitting to share the words Jackie wrote to me. I took my DVD (the one my then-wife bought me) to TX in hopes of having her write a little something on the back of the sleeve for me. Here is what she wrote:

August 12, 2006

My Darling Brother Nick ~

What a journey you have taken
that has led you to this moment in your
life. I am so proud and happy to know you
and to have shared a little in this
great adventure of yours.

Life is full of surprises . . . we do not know
where the roads will take us - only that
it is the sharing of the path that creates
unbelieveable bonds of friendship, trust
and love.

Thank you for allowing me to walk beside
you as you have travelled up your Mountain
and found your Miracle.

With all the love in the world from
your Brokeback Sister,

Jackie
"paintedshoes"



No, thank YOU Jackie. Knowing you were somewhere in the world
rooting for me made this journey so much more bearable.

You will be eternally missed.

 


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 26, 2008, 01:38:52 PM
Perhaps today, especially, we can ensure that many candles are lit for Jackie.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=bbm

I did mine.  I think I did something wrong and didn't get it in the bbm group.  ggeeezzz... I'm a ding dong...Jackie would laugh at me right now and then with all sincerity say, "Di, it doesn't matter where it is, it only matters that you did it."
I MISS HER ! !
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 26, 2008, 01:45:26 PM
as the credits roll....


She was a friend of mine.
Everytime I hear her name Lord,
I just can't keep from cryin'
'Cause she was a friend of mine........
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 26, 2008, 01:56:57 PM

A toast to you, Jackie, and to everyone gathered to remember Jackie today.  Big, giant, tight hugs and tons of love from Mia and Marleen.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi67.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh289%2Faltonsvensson%2FIMG_2489.jpg&hash=fd17a4f4460959ec0302820c3ef035eb)

Jackie, we miss you.   :'(

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: brian on January 26, 2008, 02:10:06 PM
I posted on my blog about Jackie and Heath. http://brianaralph.blogspot.com/2008/01/sad-day.html
A lovely lady from Louisiana who reads has just posted this.
Brian, what a lovely and moving post. "Brokeback Mountain" had a powerful effect on me, too, although I am not gay. The portrayal of these two young men in an environment in which there literally was no context in which to place their feelings and experiences, just blew me away. Heath's performance was extraordinary.

I offer a prayer for Jackie. May she rest in peace and rise in glory. I offer you and the other members of the community my sympathy and prayers, too.

I am part of a rather loosely organized online community, and I have met a group of them of them in New York, and one in New Orleans. I consider those whom I have met and those whom I have not met as my friends. Not once have I been disappointed in meeting the people in real life. They were just as I expected them to be - or better.

May God bless you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Elevation on January 26, 2008, 02:12:02 PM
(It's hard to catch up with everything that's going on here being overseas...)

 I just want to say I'm thinking of Jackie (and Heath) pretty much all the time and am glad for their sakes to read some of you all have been able to meet up today for a memory get-together!

Also, I want to thank TwistEnnis for posting this one of Jackie many posts worth remembering. I am missing her voice and personal messages, emails, letters, cards and and phone/webcam convos... So all her posts are a precious addition - this one encouraging and an example of her courage.

I cannot belive she is gone.

What I Need (page 199)

Quote from: paintedshoes

Brokeback Mountain allowed me to come to terms with some issues in my past, but somewhere, lurking in the back of my mind, I knew there was more; I just couldn't find it.  In the last few days, I have pieced together my thoughts, fears, and needs, to explain to myself what happened to me.

It was after reading the story three times, searching my soul long and hard, and facing what I knew to be the truth, that I made a radical decision:  I quit my job after nineteen years!  I can't believe I'm putting it in writing.  I'm staying on to wrap up some projects, but I'm out at the end of the month.  I'm looking for a job, though no prospects yet.  I'm divorced, fifty-seven  years old, with two kids and five grandchildren, and I did the stupidest and bravest thing I may have done in my life.

I can't live in misery for fear of what the future may hold, not anymore.  I am laughing to myself, at myself because- though on some level I'm scared to death- I feel a lightness of heart that I have not felt in forever.  None of you here made my decision for me, but all of you here enveloped me in love, compassion, and understanding.  You helped me to come to terms with myself and what I need for myself, not for what I thought other people expected.  Bless you all. 
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh95%2Fnaxman_photos%2Fstuff%2Fjackie22.jpg&hash=f13ee42d04ae1216e15bfd85d1f5221f)


Thankyou
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 26, 2008, 02:56:32 PM

To Jackie:

Like a Summer storm gathering strength, her wind lifted
us like leaves on a tree, gave us life, love and happiness.
And like a summer storm, it has now passed and left us
tossed.  But grateful for the visit.   

gerry




I posted this early in the Diner where Jackie loved to sit and just chat,
and thought I'd copy it over here.


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 26, 2008, 03:19:35 PM
Say not in grief that she is no more
but say in thankfulness that she was
A death is not the extinguishing of a light,
but the putting out of the lamp
because the dawn has come.
 
Tagore

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi41.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe267%2Fnickjadegreen%2Fapricotrose.jpg&hash=699b49b270f6ff27928e85b7b4cbf469)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rei-gyoku on January 26, 2008, 03:56:06 PM
Jackie,
My spirit is there at your place with you, across the Pacific Ocean and over the miles.
 :-* :-*

Rei-g/Reiko
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: RodneyWY on January 26, 2008, 04:37:08 PM
I haven't seen Rodney - is his health such that he can even be with us? Or has something happened to him and I don't know about it...

Oh my dear Heidi, thanks so much for remembering me and asking about me.  I've been doing quite well once I returned to Florida in October and allowed myself the opportunity to recuperate in relative peace.  Lately I've been planning my move to Denver which will be in mid March.  Next week however I'm flying to Denver, where among other things I'll be officiating at an event we shall be holding iin the City of Denver in memory of our dear Jackie and Heath.  I wish I could have joined the group traveling to Maryland this weekend, but it just wasn't in the cards.  Please know that I am there in spirit.

Rodney


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: graylockV on January 26, 2008, 04:43:36 PM
Dear Paula and other friends of Jackie,

I just got back from College Park and Jackie's apartment.  I must apologize for being late.  I am so sorry I missed all of you.  I forgot that I promised a neighbor I would help him with an errand this morning, so I didn't arrive at Jackie's apartment until almost 3PM, and by then everyone had apparently left, because no one answered the door or phone.  Someone let me into the building and I knocked at #306, but no one answered.  I also called the phone number 007 that rings in Jackie's apartment.  I got a message that said to call her daughter Joanne's number that was left on the machine - but there was no answer when I called Joanne's a couple of times, so I decided to just come on back to Springfield.

Please don't feel bad - I was the one who messed up my signals.  But I just feel so bad that I missed the chance to tell you how terrific it was to meet Jackie.  I was not as close to her as so many others, but I met her several times for a viewing of Brokeback Mountain, the last time being at the Univ. of Maryland several months ago.  I remember she was excited at the possibility she might discuss Brokeback in one of the film classes over there - I don't know if she ever got a chance to do that.  We also chatted about some of our favorite film scores and discovered how much we both enjoy the music to The Big Country and others.

I know that Jackie is laughing at me from where she is - at my maladroit wanderings around College Park.  (This sort of thing has happened to me before.  I need to be tethered to make sure I get where I want to go!) 

She was just a bit older that I am, but far more skilled at technology.  She even isolated a picture of my head from one of our group photos and emailed it to me, so I could then email it to other friends who were wondering what I look like.

Well I could go on, but let me say just one more time that she will be very much missed, and that I am sure she is where all good hearted souls are gathered.

Hugs to you all.

Richard B.

(greylocke5)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: chaz3885 on January 26, 2008, 04:49:27 PM
I arrived at Washington later than planned...my flight was delayed over an hour...Chicago's weather ...I'm in David's house ....gorgeous home...the room is great,cozy.

We had some wine (which went straight to my head,btw) and talked baout Jackie...all her sweetness...telling stories of her...*sigh* ....I'm sooo tired but when I saw this picture...this is EXACTLY how I feel right now....just so surreal

there will only be about 10 of us tomorrow....but that's okay...you ALL will be in our thoughts...I swear!!

Godd night....oh wait...good morning....

(((hugs)))

Nellie

Just because.....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3254.jpg&hash=9c183fd092ba926747ea20201806f303)
Hello to all,  I am a coworker of Nellie and she told me of this forum where she has become a part of a 'family' of people that to me is simply amazing.  This is my first time on a forum of any kind....and the 'power' within these messages is wonderful. I have only known Nellie for 6 months and know noone else on here, but wanted to express my deepest sympathy. Brokeback Mountain apparently made an awesome impact on many lives and brought so may people together, more than I would have ever imagined.  I am a gay man in my late 30's that grew up in Basin, Wyoming knowing of some issues that people face... and just to say that the power of friends and family and a positive attitude is what gets you by. You are all in my thoughts and thank you for your time.....and Nellie, please come home safe... see you next week.
Charlie  :(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tigs on January 26, 2008, 04:54:23 PM
Charlie

Welcome.  Thank you for your thoughts for Jackie.

Please come back soon

Sal      ;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 26, 2008, 04:57:50 PM
CHARLIE...

it was sweet of you to come by.  i know it will please nellie to no end.  i hope you will come back often, and read all you want, and chat amongst us.  the diner and the introduction threads are great starts.  you have no idea how welcoming a community can be.

and besides, we can ALWAYS use some more 30ish gay men around here  ;) ;=
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gb-dc on January 26, 2008, 05:20:28 PM

 I didn't arrive at Jackie's apartment until almost 3PM, and by then everyone had apparently left,


Richard,

I feel so sorry for you. The gathering was on the main floor in the community room. We were all there from 1-5.  :(

goaboydc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 26, 2008, 05:22:00 PM
CHARLIE...

it was sweet of you to come by.  i know it will please nellie to no end.  i hope you will come back often, and read all you want, and chat amongst us.  the diner and the introduction threads are great starts.  you have no idea how welcoming a community can be.

and besides, we can ALWAYS use some more 30ish gay men around here  ;) ;=

You are inappropriately incorrigible.  :D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 26, 2008, 05:22:42 PM

 I didn't arrive at Jackie's apartment until almost 3PM, and by then everyone had apparently left,


Richard,

I feel so sorry for you. The gathering was on the main floor in the community room. We were all there from 1-5.  :(

goaboydc

Oh dear, poor Richard.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 26, 2008, 05:34:49 PM
Hey guys,

When I have been out I can do no more than to rush home and catch up on this thread... Its amazing all the things that people are writing about precious Jackie... She simply touched the world over with her love and kindness...

I was out with a friend tonight... Mehmet... Martina, Florian, Jari, Petri, Marc and Marleen met him... He of the 'hell0 my lovely fame'   

He was so sweet, we sat on sofa's in the Duke Of Wellington, knocking back double Bombays and tonic and I told him all about Jackie... He said... 'She sounds so lovely my lovely' - I nearly burst into tears on the spot...

Sorry again, not to be with you guys in Maryland, Brokeback Towers, and The Hotel Foxette today, but my thoughts have been constantly with you...

Love and love again

Wayne   
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: HorseLove on January 26, 2008, 05:52:35 PM
I remember walking into Aunties Texas BBQ, a bit nervous and very apprehensive about even making the trip, as I didn't know anyone there.  I wandered around the yard for what seemed to be an eternity, and then there she was.  Jackie came over to me and with a huge smile and open arms, she introduce herself and welcomed me in.  I will never forget how she made me feel that wondeful summer day.



Sleep well dear friend.

L.A. Adrian
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gb-dc on January 26, 2008, 06:00:24 PM

Its amazing all the things that people are writing about precious Jackie...

Zudos,

Fritz printed out your letter, and Paula passed it around for us all to read. You said some pretty amazing things yourself.

goaboydc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 26, 2008, 06:30:59 PM

Its amazing all the things that people are writing about precious Jackie...

Zudos,

Fritz printed out your letter, and Paula passed it around for us all to read. You said some pretty amazing things yourself.

goaboydc

Thanks Joe... Good to see you in the pics... Thanks for going... and for sharing this...

And for that you need to come and hang out with us more....

Wayne
XXXXXX
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: RodneyWY on January 26, 2008, 06:41:40 PM
Hello to All,

This is my first time on the Forum.  My name is Paula; you may already know who I am.  I am Jackie's daughter-in-law, hence my sing-in name of "JackiesDIL".  Unlike my sister, who posted yesterday, I've never been one for brevity, and I'm not the greatest wordsmith.  So, I'm hoping that you can set aside a little of your time to read and endure what is to follow.  I'm not sure exactly what other people have quoted me on, so some of this may seem redundant, but I wanted you to "hear" it straight from me.

Dearest Paula, thanks so much for your incredlble initial post in this community whose feelings are so profoundly being poured out in memory of our dear Jackie.  Let me add yet another photo or two.  Here is Jackie listening intently at my reading of the short story at the BBQ in Estes Park:
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe328%2Flilfritzinfl%2FJackieReadingSM.jpg&hash=b65db5fbc3655fbcc72cd745a3b4f792)
Here is a photo of Jackie caressing items from my large collection of memorabilia, this being Ennis' fishing gear:
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi42.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe328%2Flilfritzinfl%2FJackieFishingGear.jpg&hash=e8cdd02071a56e4b0644a7528dd31425)
It is not difficult for me to keep on talking about our dear Jackie.  I'm so proud to have been part of "Jackie's harem."
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: JohnnyX on January 26, 2008, 07:26:01 PM

Hello to all,  I am a coworker of Nellie and she told me of this forum where she has become a part of a 'family' of people that to me is simply amazing.  This is my first time on a forum of any kind....and the 'power' within these messages is wonderful. I have only known Nellie for 6 months and know noone else on here, but wanted to express my deepest sympathy. Brokeback Mountain apparently made an awesome impact on many lives and brought so may people together, more than I would have ever imagined.  I am a gay man in my late 30's that grew up in Basin, Wyoming knowing of some issues that people face... and just to say that the power of friends and family and a positive attitude is what gets you by. You are all in my thoughts and thank you for your time.....and Nellie, please come home safe... see you next week.
Charlie  :(

Hello Charlie and WELCOME to our wonderful forum.
Just in case you haven't yet perceived it, your/our Nellie is LOVED by so many of us, in a similar way to how Jackie is loved.

If you ever feel that you want to share your own story, please come on over to the How Brokeback Affected Me thread and share it with us. Not many post there these days, but many read there every day, just waiting to welcome new posters on there.

JohnnyX a long long way away in oz.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Oregondoggie on January 26, 2008, 07:36:00 PM
SCENE: A PORCH STAIRS SOMEWHERE UP IN HEAVEN

Late in the afternoon, thunder growling, that same old green pickup rolled in, and Ennis saw Jackie get out of the truck, beat-up Resistol tilted back.  A hot jolt scalded him and he was out on the landing.

ENNIS hurried down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

They seized each other...hugged mightily, squeezing the breath out of each other, saying, son of a bitch, son of a bitch.

ENNIS:  Welcome home, Jackie.  Welcome home...

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 26, 2008, 07:43:00 PM
Marakesh-- this one's from Melissa's vid

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi114.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn279%2Fspacegal471%2FPersonal%2Fjackie.png&hash=ddc8dd22aa81e9932fe8c1ea5c48b62f)

Actually that is a picture I took at the planetarium. Everyone was freezing and it was hard to get them to stand still long enuf for my shaking hands holding the camera to focus!!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: graylockV on January 26, 2008, 07:43:14 PM

 I didn't arrive at Jackie's apartment until almost 3PM, and by then everyone had apparently left,


Richard,

I feel so sorry for you. The gathering was on the main floor in the community room. We were all there from 1-5.  :(

goaboydc

There was no one at the reception desk so I assumed that folks had left to go to Paula's house.

My mistake.  But as you all can understand, my thinking has been rather distracted by events this past week.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 26, 2008, 07:56:00 PM
Here is my photo with Jackie (in the two-tone jacket on the left). Adam (EDelMar) is on the right in Ennis's coat. He was the official van driver at the Oscar Night gathering, and he insisted on having Jackie in the passenger seat next to him. EDelMar is one of the people arranging the Memorial Service for Jackie and Heath in Denver on February 9, in addition to RodneyWY (second from left) and myself.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.divshare.com%2Fimg%2F177801-61a.JPG&hash=2da7c9989921108c44c2f396f752382a)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 26, 2008, 10:32:03 PM
No need to RSVP--We are lookin forward to welcoming you w open arms!!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: planetgal471 on January 26, 2008, 11:28:55 PM
Lee-- thank you for the clearer version of the picture. I'll treasure it always.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Amiennis on January 27, 2008, 04:21:58 AM
SCENE: A PORCH STAIRS SOMEWHERE UP IN HEAVEN

Late in the afternoon, thunder growling, that same old green pickup rolled in, and Ennis saw Jackie get out of the truck, beat-up Resistol tilted back.  A hot jolt scalded him and he was out on the landing.

ENNIS hurried down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

They seized each other...hugged mightily, squeezing the breath out of each other, saying, son of a bitch, son of a bitch.

ENNIS:  Welcome home, Jackie.  Welcome home...

Oh man... :'( :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 27, 2008, 04:26:35 AM
Last night before going to bed, I called Nellie and had a great conversation with her and Paula as they travelled back to Paula's...

Thanks guys for letting me be a small part of your day... It meant a lot  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 04:56:38 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2FJackie1.jpg&hash=1b111174af84cb2cedb3df389a7dc9a1)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 04:56:52 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2FJackie2.jpg&hash=a6e96867859380a32e5a91c79be76d9e)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 04:57:08 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2FJackie3.jpg&hash=3662353bacdfa6d11ddbcdde8df3136e)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 04:57:23 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2FJackie4.jpg&hash=44b0bda676c5d310ccf2d1bdf0c189c3)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 04:57:39 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2FJackie5.jpg&hash=d89a63e355923b5d1bc21342224ce03b)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 05:00:26 AM
Jackie got a real kick out of this pic that i posted a long time ago.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FCB.jpg&hash=6da05a53a6d161bbbf183f45445f49c9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Trigger Hippie on January 27, 2008, 05:04:01 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2FJackie1.jpg&hash=1b111174af84cb2cedb3df389a7dc9a1)

I love Jackie's impish smile in this pic. I remember that look when she and I were discussing "secrets" at brad's place.

*sigh*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 05:05:58 AM
It's been really nice to see so many pics of Jackie at the Oscar Night event in Bay City.

I'm really pleased that I had the chance to bring everyone together for good times, and
especially pleased that Jackie was able to attend.

It wouldn't have been the same without her there.

Jackie brought a gift to Bay City for me.

She was a little worried that I might not like it too much.

It's an old book about railroading that was printed in the late 50's.

As soon as I opened the cover of the book I said :

"OMG, how did you know?

Jackie said:  "How did I know what honey"?

I said: "I had this book when I was a kid. I used to read it and look at the pictures all the time"

Jackie always knew the right thing to say and the right gift to give.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 05:08:48 AM
When I moved out here to California, Jackie would call me a couple of times a week to make sure I was doing ok.

She was the big sister I never had.

She also sent me a package of those famous oatmeal cookies.

I'll always think of Jackie when I have oatmeal cookies.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 27, 2008, 05:09:22 AM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbaycityforums.com%2Fimages%2FJackie%2FJackie2.jpg&hash=a6e96867859380a32e5a91c79be76d9e)

The look here on Jackie's face says it all...

Smiling, warm loving, yet with humility and vulnerability...

My goodness... To never see this again in RL breaks my heart... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BayCityJohn on January 27, 2008, 05:13:20 AM
I've been searching for any video I took of Jackie, and this is all I could find.

It's mostly Melissa, but Jackie is there too. And Nelly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcQmF73Iszk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcQmF73Iszk)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 27, 2008, 05:39:51 AM
Great pics and touching memories John... Thanks for sharing...  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 07:43:05 AM
Last night before going to bed, I called Nellie and had a great conversation with her and Paula as they travelled back to Paula's...

Thanks guys for letting me be a small part of your day... It meant a lot  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*


 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 07:46:05 AM

Its amazing all the things that people are writing about precious Jackie...

Zudos,

Fritz printed out your letter, and Paula passed it around for us all to read. You said some pretty amazing things yourself.

goaboydc
here you are,Joe.....I finally know who you are in this Forum...it was soooo nice to have met you...really...

many hugs((joe))

Nellie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 27, 2008, 07:47:17 AM
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Nellie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You were in my thoughts all day yesterday, all of you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 07:50:02 AM
Dear Paula and other friends of Jackie,

I just got back from College Park and Jackie's apartment.  I must apologize for being late.  I am so sorry I missed all of you.  I forgot that I promised a neighbor I would help him with an errand this morning, so I didn't arrive at Jackie's apartment until almost 3PM, and by then everyone had apparently left, because no one answered the door or phone.  Someone let me into the building and I knocked at #306, but no one answered.  I also called the phone number 007 that rings in Jackie's apartment.  I got a message that said to call her daughter Joanne's number that was left on the machine - but there was no answer when I called Joanne's a couple of times, so I decided to just come on back to Springfield.

Please don't feel bad - I was the one who messed up my signals.  But I just feel so bad that I missed the chance to tell you how terrific it was to meet Jackie.  I was not as close to her as so many others, but I met her several times for a viewing of Brokeback Mountain, the last time being at the Univ. of Maryland several months ago.  I remember she was excited at the possibility she might discuss Brokeback in one of the film classes over there - I don't know if she ever got a chance to do that.  We also chatted about some of our favorite film scores and discovered how much we both enjoy the music to The Big Country and others.

I know that Jackie is laughing at me from where she is - at my maladroit wanderings around College Park.  (This sort of thing has happened to me before.  I need to be tethered to make sure I get where I want to go!) 

She was just a bit older that I am, but far more skilled at technology.  She even isolated a picture of my head from one of our group photos and emailed it to me, so I could then email it to other friends who were wondering what I look like.

Well I could go on, but let me say just one more time that she will be very much missed, and that I am sure she is where all good hearted souls are gathered.

Hugs to you all.

Richard B.

(greylocke5)



I'm so so sorry....there were many people there and the family went to the activity room...just straight up as you walk in....we feel terrible and regret not putting up a sign...a PM is on it's way

Nellie XO
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 07:53:41 AM
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Nellie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You were in my thoughts all day yesterday, all of you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((( JARI )))))))))))))))))))))))))

and you in ours...

N...XO
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 27, 2008, 07:54:42 AM
I'll call you later...

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 07:57:43 AM
I arrived at Washington later than planned...my flight was delayed over an hour...Chicago's weather ...I'm in David's house ....gorgeous home...the room is great,cozy.

We had some wine (which went straight to my head,btw) and talked baout Jackie...all her sweetness...telling stories of her...*sigh* ....I'm sooo tired but when I saw this picture...this is EXACTLY how I feel right now....just so surreal

there will only be about 10 of us tomorrow....but that's okay...you ALL will be in our thoughts...I swear!!

Godd night....oh wait...good morning....

(((hugs)))

Nellie

Just because.....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3254.jpg&hash=9c183fd092ba926747ea20201806f303)
Hello to all,  I am a coworker of Nellie and she told me of this forum where she has become a part of a 'family' of people that to me is simply amazing.  This is my first time on a forum of any kind....and the 'power' within these messages is wonderful. I have only known Nellie for 6 months and know noone else on here, but wanted to express my deepest sympathy. Brokeback Mountain apparently made an awesome impact on many lives and brought so may people together, more than I would have ever imagined.  I am a gay man in my late 30's that grew up in Basin, Wyoming knowing of some issues that people face... and just to say that the power of friends and family and a positive attitude is what gets you by. You are all in my thoughts and thank you for your time.....and Nellie, please come home safe... see you next week.
Charlie  :(

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Charlie........ :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*...you have NOOOOOOOOOOO idea how much this means to me...no idea...I'm lost for words now :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 07:58:13 AM
I'll call you later...



yes....:-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gattaca on January 27, 2008, 08:08:26 AM

Hi,

I posted this too for Jackie, our dear friend and inspiration --> http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28516.msg1160890#msg1160890

My heart aches for everyone she touched in this life - she is missed.

Peace.

Vincent
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 08:08:54 AM
Paula, if that green wind chime is still hanging in the corner by the computer (my gift to Jackie), give it a nudge tomorrow and that will be me saying bonjour to everyone.

We did hon......we did...((hugs))

Nellie...XO
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: cabin on January 27, 2008, 08:14:59 AM


OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Charlie........ :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*...you have NOOOOOOOOOOO idea how much this means to me...no idea...I'm lost for words now :'( :'( :'( :'(

I remember thinking, she's gonna be so surprised.... I'm glad you are....... I felt good for you when I first saw his post.
Thanks for everything Nells and am glad you were able to attend and meet jackies families.   :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: whiplash on January 27, 2008, 08:19:27 AM
I read this poem yesterday and sent it to a few close friends and then thought I should post it here too.  It helped me this week and I thought it might help others.  It is a poem that Mary Oliver wrote during a time when she was dealing with the loss of her long-time partner and trying to come to grips with the grief and with God. 

I really felt while reading it that I could hear Jackie's voice too.  The words seem like bits of wisdom that she would impart to us with her ever-positive yet discerning view of the world. 

Heavy
By Mary Oliver
 
That time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying
 
I went closer,
and I did not die.
Surely God
had His hand in this,
 
as well as friends.
Still, I was bent,
and my laughter,
as the poet said,
 
was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel
(brave even among lions),
"It's not the weight you carry
 
but how you carry it -
books, bricks, grief -
it's all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it
 
when you cannot, and would not,
put it down."
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?
 
Have you heard
the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?
 
How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe
 
also troubled -
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep waves,
a love
to which there is no reply?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 08:43:43 AM


OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Charlie........ :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*...you have NOOOOOOOOOOO idea how much this means to me...no idea...I'm lost for words now :'( :'( :'( :'(

I remember thinking, she's gonna be so surprised.... I'm glad you are....... I felt good for you when I first saw his post.
Thanks for everything Nells and am glad you were able to attend and meet jackies families.   :-*

 :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Zudos on January 27, 2008, 08:53:12 AM
Nellie you travelled so far to be there... OMG its amazing...

You truly are Jackie's best friend... :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 27, 2008, 08:53:28 AM
It's been really nice to see so many pics of Jackie at the Oscar Night event in Bay City.

I'm really pleased that I had the chance to bring everyone together for good times, and
especially pleased that Jackie was able to attend.

Yes, and we are all so happy we made the trip up to the frozen North for that warm welcome to ourselves!! In these latest dark days I have been comforted a lot by looking at my photos of the Bay City get-together. Here's one of Eric, Adam, and Jackie looking through Adam's Brokeback Mountain treasures:

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.divshare.com%2Fimg%2F3617854-0e9.JPG&hash=3cec164f135b33cd69ce4b342c756831)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 27, 2008, 09:07:42 AM
She is at right here in a group picture I took in front of the State Theater where Brokeback Mountain was shown.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.divshare.com%2Fimg%2F3617856-224.jpg&hash=03a23a07f7b3ac01ab9741dceefe16e0)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 27, 2008, 09:10:23 AM
When PaintedShoes spoke, EVERYBODY listened!!

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.divshare.com%2Fimg%2F3617855-f13.JPG&hash=09219d12b275e41f543781b429b48f47)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 27, 2008, 09:14:08 AM
I didn't get to talk much with Jackie while at the BBQ, because I was too busy cooking. But, later on, I went on the hayride with her and we had a great time. Here she is at the BBQ:

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.divshare.com%2Fimg%2F3617852-278.jpg&hash=72086512ac3fa6978da9a491dc8fd971)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 27, 2008, 09:17:01 AM
Here she is at the hoe-down we had on the last night of the BBQ at LoveEmBoys' place:



* edited by Loveemboys because this image comes across as a 17 Meg bitmap.  Lee - Ill PM you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gb-dc on January 27, 2008, 09:32:44 AM
here you are,Joe.....I finally know who you are in this Forum...it was soooo nice to have met you...really...

Nellie,

It was a pleasure meeting you as well. Hopefully, I'll be around more than I have in the past few months.

FWIW
goaboydc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: alma on January 27, 2008, 09:41:35 AM
Thanks for the awesome tribute to Jackie in the DS, whoever put it together. I didn't see where I could post a thank you, but thank you.

I'm in awe of the community you all have created and I, a lurker more than participant, have been greatly moved by all of it.

Blessings to everyone.

Julie
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 09:45:45 AM
Anything you want to say....say it here....Jackie's family checks in and reads EVERYTHING when they have the time.....this is very comforting for them to see all these posts....to be able to read all this...

THANK YOU ALL for doing this.....puts a great smile on my Rican face...;D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 27, 2008, 09:53:25 AM
John..(Desperadum)

Thank you SOOOO much for the wonderful cake...I made sure Jackie's family knew who it came from....it was DELICIOUS and they said it was the best cake they ever had!!  I swear to God,they really said that.. ;D :-* :-* :-*

It meant a lot

Nellie...XO

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Front-Ranger on January 27, 2008, 09:53:59 AM
Here is Jackie at the hoedown again.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.divshare.com%2Fimg%2F3617847-fd4.jpg&hash=73f5e6f748462abff42700a37095afd7)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 27, 2008, 10:10:49 AM
Thank you to the wonderful people who put together the TDS Special for Jackie.  It brought so many tears, so many memories, so much longing, so much sadness.

I haven't said much about Jackie and our friendship.  She was, of course, one of the first people to welcome me to the Diner.  I had been hanging around in the fan threads and very tentively hopped in there one day.  I was nervous.  She welcomed me with open arms - on the thread, through pm's.  I felt like a movie star!  She had an amazing way with people and she made me feel comfortable, loved, special.  Everything good a person wants to feel.

When I started spending more time in the Diner, I saw much more of her.  Whenever she showed up, it was like rays of sunshine just flowed into the place.  She was supportive, caring, informative, helpful, and funny as hell.  We were joking about drinking one day and she was simply hysterical.  She was always on the phone, always here, always pm'ing, Skyping.  She devoted a huge part of her life to caring for us.  She was and always will be the matriarch of this forum. 

My biggest sorrow comes from the fact that she and I had started to become closer the last few months of her life, right at the time she became ill and began to leave us.  As with so many others, we began making plans for more personal contact.  She pm'd me her Skype address I don't know how many times.  She told me over and over how excited she was about meeting me in Oxford.  I told her the same.  We talked about my first trip to London - my first trip meeting Brokies.  She told me how wonderful it was going to be for me to feel the loving hugs of the people there.  She was so happy for me - and joked about how jealous she was.  She was, as always, right about London.

When I got to London, I received the news that she wasn't feeling well.  I had the privilege of speaking to her on the phone - a moment that I won't ever forget.  It breaks my heart that our friendship was blossoming just as she was taken from us.  She was a big part of my time on the forum and I miss her like hell.  I will always miss her.

My very deepest messages of condolence - from the bottom of my broken heart - go out to Jackie's wonderful family and friends.  I can't imagine the pain you're feeling.  My arms are always hugging you, through all of this.  The best thing I can do for her is try to live my life in a way that I think she'd be proud of.  I'm going to try my best to make her proud.

All my love,
Marleen (Tammy)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 27, 2008, 10:20:32 AM
Just because.....

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh86%2FBrokenOkie%2FHPIM3254.jpg&hash=9c183fd092ba926747ea20201806f303)

I just had to repost this picture, Nellie, this is one of the most gorgeous photos I have ever seen (well done, Glenn!)....

I've been catching up here this morning and my heart feels lighter after reading of all the memories, of all the beauty that was, and is, our Jackie.

I'm so glad that members of Jackie's Forum family were able to visit with Paula and family.....

Today, for me, and I hope for others here, there are fewer tears, and more smiles...I think Jackie would have wanted it that way.
 
 :) :) :) :) :) :)


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: jack on January 27, 2008, 10:34:54 AM


OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Charlie........ :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*...you have NOOOOOOOOOOO idea how much this means to me...no idea...I'm lost for words now :'( :'( :'( :'(

I remember thinking, she's gonna be so surprised.... I'm glad you are....... I felt good for you when I first saw his post.
Thanks for everything Nells and am glad you were able to attend and meet jackies families.   :-*
what he said^^, and i told him so, or tried to.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 12:57:41 PM
It was suggested that I repost these pictures here:

Linda, Joe, Dave, Debbie, Earl, Chuck on Saturday 26 January 2008 at the gathering at Jackie's place to celebrate her life.

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00635.jpg&hash=5a76be0ebe1eac7607ad607ad831014a)

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 12:58:09 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00637.jpg&hash=f570a0437cba8ef1d54cd37ceb0429e5)

Linda, Debbie, Chuck

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 12:58:40 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00638.jpg&hash=f71750c941f3b1e85998ae2a1b1217c6)

Chuck & Earl

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 12:59:06 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00639.jpg&hash=2b75f1df35703aff86e6c7f22fa148ef)

Chuck, Earl & Dave

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 12:59:44 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00640.jpg&hash=93632bea661eb74f24839d9c6efdc421)

Paula & Nellie

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 01:00:17 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00641.jpg&hash=fd7b0afc2084c92c6b43eb86e4ddbed8)

Debbie, Linda & Joe

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 01:00:48 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00643.jpg&hash=91171c4eef8db5ad0b9131ddd8631cb2)

Earl & Linda

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 01:01:18 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00645-1.jpg&hash=dfe621ff819c498c23108ec2f5f9f59d)

Linda & Fritz

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 01:01:54 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00646.jpg&hash=f8135e9660b6de12456dc80a4a44f9a6)

Chuck & Nellie

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 27, 2008, 01:02:14 PM
Fritz thank you so much, wonderful pictures!!  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 01:02:23 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00647.jpg&hash=b64d4cd7d12bdb3e81cc38164dc3625b)

Nellie & Earl

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 01:03:08 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00651.jpg&hash=197bf1dc2f9d36aa89df4d384dabad56)

Earl (Spruceman), Fritz (Fritzkep), Joe (Goaboydc), Nellie (McNell1120), Dave (Djbdc9), Debbie (Dejavu), Auntie Linda (Killersmom), & Chuck (CellarDweller115)

That's it, just some repeated insurance shots. There were more cameras and more pictures to be posted when people return to their computers!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 01:05:40 PM
Thank you, Lola!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 27, 2008, 01:15:30 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi47.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff192%2Ffritzkep%2FDSC00640.jpg&hash=93632bea661eb74f24839d9c6efdc421)

Paula & Nellie

Two beautiful, wonderful ladies.  Little wonder Jackie loved you both so very, very much.

For all you've done to honor Jackie and her wishes, thank you.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desperadum on January 27, 2008, 01:23:43 PM
John..(Desperadum)
Thank you SOOOO much for the wonderful cake...I made sure Jackie's family knew who it came from....it was DELICIOUS and they said it was the best cake they ever had!!  I swear to God,they really said that.. ;D :-* :-* :-*
It meant a lot
Nellie...XO
Nellie, I'm so glad to know that, thanks for telling me! Conveying all the information for the order was a bit of an ordeal for the lady I spoke to on the phone, so I didn't think she could handle a note to go with it! But I'm glad it got there and turned out OK.  It was one of the options she gave me after she told me they didn't make cherry cake!! I really appreciate your letting me know!  :-* Love seeing the pictures. Know you must be beat, but hope you have safe travels home.

Hugs,
John
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jaysmommy on January 27, 2008, 01:35:46 PM
Fritz, thanks so much for all the great photos....seeing everyone smiling and looking so good.....Jackie must be beaming!  :)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: andy/Claude on January 27, 2008, 01:47:39 PM
I was so glad to get home and see these pics... and you all had happy Jackie faces, glowing with your love and admiration for our dear friend. She would have been pleased as punch, I bet! Look forward to more. :-* :'( :-* :'(
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lola on January 27, 2008, 01:51:56 PM
I was so glad to get home and see these pics... and you all had happy Jackie faces, glowing with your love and admiration for our dear friend. She would have been pleased as punch, I bet! Look forward to more. :-* :'( :-* :'(

Me too!!  AND you look beautiful Nellie, you really do!  Jackie would be so proud of all you have done.  She would be so proud of all you guys!
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 02:03:52 PM
Des, that cake was so delicious! Makes me wish I had a piece to eat right now!  :D

Thank you!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: desperadum on January 27, 2008, 03:36:42 PM
Des, that cake was so delicious! Makes me wish I had a piece to eat right now!  :D
Thank you!

My pleasure, Fritz - the description sounded good, so I'm glad it turned out OK.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: gb-dc on January 27, 2008, 03:56:03 PM
I want to share this with you all and hope that Paula doesn't mind.

Paula and I were outside yesterday at the gathering, chatting, mostly smalltalk. I mentioned that on the way over to Jackie's yesterday, I pulled up at the red light just down the street from my condo. As I looked in front of me, there was an SUV, its tag staring me right in the face. The car was from Wyoming. She smiled, and we both agreed that everything seemed to be oddly coincidental lately. Just then, she stopped and said, "The bag, that's where it ended up." I looked at her curiously, the way you do when someone comes out with a non sequitur. She pointed, and I turned around to look. I asked, "What bag is that?" She wanted to know if I had ever seen "American Beauty," and I said, "Yes. Oh, you mean the video of the bag at the end." We both agreed that the scene was a wonderful little piece of cinematography. She said that she and Jackie had seen it together, and Jackie had always wondered where the bag finally ended up. Paula looked at the plastic bag hanging in the tree and said, "That's where it ended up."

It was a sweet moment, too nice not to share.

FWIW
goaboydc
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 04:17:05 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1603-1.jpg&hash=ba966b4bfc76e1e5c9f45e83dcd0b636)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 04:21:55 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1581.jpg&hash=bb18491e87598193325065064bea2288)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 04:25:53 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1596.jpg&hash=d1d5de725f6b6cd76d088c41e431dd41)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 04:33:48 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1587.jpg&hash=c06ffe8cc6c3117a0f964c22a0d0d2b7)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Jay63 on January 27, 2008, 04:37:30 PM
Looks like our Forum Family was well represented at the gathering in honor of Jackie.
Thank you all for sharing the experience and photos,  and a big Thank You to Jackie's Maryland Family for extending the invitation to be a part of the day.   

Jay
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 04:40:29 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1598.jpg&hash=15263dbbf7f2e2328fd537ade0e2997f)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 04:49:54 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1591.jpg&hash=5a26482e3cb5d8b76bb42a839adee02c)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 05:04:01 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1602.jpg&hash=b4a1f338339ef57fdf3815e68377fdb6)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 05:05:43 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1606.jpg&hash=95354b7978b0b4b96b03a62832cb738b)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: djbdc9 on January 27, 2008, 05:08:35 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1384.jpg&hash=611b24f4704e8595b9f1ee42a94818ae)

Must have been real lucky on this beautiful day when I caught this fabulous photo of Jackie! :D
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: fritzkep on January 27, 2008, 05:43:41 PM
Wonderful pictures, Dave, especially the last!

Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: neatfreak on January 27, 2008, 06:18:13 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1384.jpg&hash=611b24f4704e8595b9f1ee42a94818ae)

This picture reminds me of how I felt whenever Jackie greeted me online, by post or PM. She wrapped me a big virtual hug every single time. I told her once of her impact on me and everyone, and she had trouble believing it. But I think I made a dent when I confessed how hard it is for me to reach out and for her it was just an instinct. She didn't think it was such a big deal, but I let her know how much it meant to all of us. I know all of you told her the same thing, and I think she finally understood her role and relished it. By golly, she greeted just about every newcomer that ever came to the "Affected" thread, always with loving words and warm regard. What a gift she was and is to us. She's the reason many stayed to discover the wonderful community we have here.

God bless you, Jackie, as you have blessed us.

Betty
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 27, 2008, 06:53:01 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1606.jpg&hash=95354b7978b0b4b96b03a62832cb738b)

Love it, David.  Absolutely love it.  :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: BrokenOkie on January 27, 2008, 06:54:30 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1384.jpg&hash=611b24f4704e8595b9f1ee42a94818ae)

Must have been real lucky on this beautiful day when I caught this fabulous photo of Jackie! :D

Right place, right time, right people, David.  And it's the lead photo in today's TDS Tribute to Jackie. 
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: lovelyamazing on January 27, 2008, 10:48:48 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi79.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj157%2Fdjbdc9%2FIMG_1606.jpg&hash=95354b7978b0b4b96b03a62832cb738b)

This is stunning - thank you :-*
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 28, 2008, 02:56:25 AM
I want to share this with you all and hope that Paula doesn't mind.

Paula and I were outside yesterday at the gathering, chatting, mostly smalltalk. I mentioned that on the way over to Jackie's yesterday, I pulled up at the red light just down the street from my condo. As I looked in front of me, there was an SUV, its tag staring me right in the face. The car was from Wyoming. She smiled, and we both agreed that everything seemed to be oddly coincidental lately. Just then, she stopped and said, "The bag, that's where it ended up." I looked at her curiously, the way you do when someone comes out with a non sequitur. She pointed, and I turned around to look. I asked, "What bag is that?" She wanted to know if I had ever seen "American Beauty," and I said, "Yes. Oh, you mean the video of the bag at the end." We both agreed that the scene was a wonderful little piece of cinematography. She said that she and Jackie had seen it together, and Jackie had always wondered where the bag finally ended up. Paula looked at the plastic bag hanging in the tree and said, "That's where it ended up."

It was a sweet moment, too nice not to share.

FWIW
goaboydc

Thank you for this...."The bag that dances with the wind".....
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 28, 2008, 03:05:44 AM
Ingy posted someting about bag in the wind inrelation to Jackie's passing too.... isn't it weird how our minds create similar images and metaphors over the oceans?
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: mcnell1120 on January 28, 2008, 03:08:16 AM
I'm always going to remember Jackie every time I see a "dancing bag"
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Boris on January 28, 2008, 04:07:48 AM
I looked up what Ingmar said:

http://www.davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=28459.msg1149299#msg1149299



Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Tammy on January 28, 2008, 04:55:42 AM
I'm always going to remember Jackie every time I see a "dancing bag"

Me too.

Thank you for the photos and the stories.  It's all so touching.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: CellarDweller115 on January 28, 2008, 06:57:18 AM
Jackie would occasionally call me "Chuckilicious", althought not very often.

Imagine my surprise when I introduced myself to Paula, and her eyes got very wide, and she said....

"Chuck!   You're Chuckilicious!"
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: trinket on January 28, 2008, 09:52:30 AM
Thanks so much to all of you who so lovingly kept the rest of us updated..with your pictures and words.
Without Jackie, there is such a void.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to all.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Rob in Puyallup on January 28, 2008, 11:33:12 AM
I just went through the first 10 pages of this thread... maybe a few less than that, maybe a few more.

Jackie was still with us then.

She still is.

Her spirit resides in us all.

Hugs to all my brothers and sisters here.

Rob
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: Lance on January 28, 2008, 12:06:32 PM
I just got my internet connection back after being off a few weeks. And I find that Jackie's gone and not coming back. This really sucks. I'm very sad and I'm also angry that we can lose good people more easily than we can lose the bad ones.

Fare well, Jackie. One last hug.

Lance
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:15:25 PM

Her spirit resides in us all.

Hugs to all my brothers and sisters here.

Rob

(((((((((Big hugs to you, Rob))))))))))))
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:49:01 PM
Fritz asked that I post my photos from the gathering at Jackie's apartment over on this thread, too, so that her family could see them.

Fritz and David have already posted quite a few good ones, but I'll pick out some of mine that are different and post them, also.




(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI02earlfritz.jpg&hash=45c56886041921dcaf2655335a89e96b)

Earl (Spruceman) and Fritz (Fritzkep).
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:53:12 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI03lindadavid.jpg&hash=ad74887d18f7984b817b3f0c76cad79f)

Linda (Killersmom) and David (Djbdc9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:54:21 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI05Nellieflowers.jpg&hash=5b8fab136e9acddcc87eeca3e876af2f)

Nellie (McNell1120) with a floral arrangement in memory of Jackie.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:55:29 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI06lindachuckstanding.jpg&hash=ea8fab74b1ec5cf4010e029d7a724e55)

Linda (Killersmom) and Chuck (Cellardweller115)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:56:37 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI07chuckearldavid.jpg&hash=9cd9e9c4a0f2559fd44a50ef9f2c7357)

Chuck (Cellardweller115), Earl (Spruceman) and David (Djbdc9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:57:41 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FcroppedNellie.jpg&hash=56e82098f7062ab4af8fec853b83c26c)

Nellie (McNell1120)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 12:58:50 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2Fcroppedchucklindawpineapple.jpg&hash=0363e8239150257f92bc86cb4ff7c467)

Linda (Killersmom) listening to Chuck (Cellardweller115). 

Linda's holding one of the pineapple sticks Jackie's family ordered as part of the delicious catered food.  There were also sticks with about eight green and purple grapes on them, and all the sticks were arranged like a floral display.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:00:05 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FCroppednelliechucklookaway.jpg&hash=4606403461519609a66df99963c01bd4)

Nellie (McNell1120) and Chuck (Cellardweller115) watching some of Jackie's grandchildren (not pictured).
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:01:21 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI08lindajoewine.jpg&hash=1845fbcc344c45195d157b1023cf5eb9)

Linda (Killersmom) and Joe (Goaboydc) with their wine glasses.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:02:20 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI09nelliedavid.jpg&hash=10866ed9e6a8fb8272a5f35d3e2ac700)

Nellie (McNell1120) and David (Djbdc9)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:03:14 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI10nelliechuckhug.jpg&hash=0a53e18c3196f2c6471a92684d27a7d5)

Nellie (McNell1120) and Chuck (Cellardweller115)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:04:07 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI13fritzlindaattable.jpg&hash=3e9df194fa0990034bef2b46fc34c12f)

Fritz (Fritzkep) and Linda (Killersmom) at the table
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:05:14 PM
It was an afternoon of serious conversation and reflection ...


(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI14lindachucktable1.jpg&hash=cf3c0e6eea3fac5be1fddd7ef8836e82)

Linda (Killersmom) and Chuck (Cellardweller115)



... but Chuck still brought the Brokeback Mountain bumperstickers to hand out to anyone who hadn't received them yet.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:06:17 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI15fritzlindachucktable.jpg&hash=fed5c7a27ed65f6e870ccde3f18b3a18)

Fritz (Fritzkep), Linda (Killersmom) and Chuck (Cellardweller115)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:07:42 PM
(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI17fritzlindatable2.jpg&hash=6b0422ae027433f34c37c290dd20f828)

Fritz (Fritzkep) and Linda (Killersmom)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:08:37 PM
And there were still some smiles ...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI16nelliecloseup.jpg&hash=b2b6bf5df2cd8cfc860b4e9280284421)

Nellie (McNell1120)
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:09:29 PM
... and some laughter

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI20lindachucktable4.jpg&hash=c5e0984cd68667fd82c435fe83bb838e)

Linda (Killersmom) and Chuck (Cellardweller115)


Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on January 28, 2008, 01:11:31 PM
Finally it was time for dessert ...

(https://ultimatebrokebackforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi199.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Faa298%2Fdejavu91%2FI21coffeeflavoredcake.jpg&hash=f05530a37fbca7f1ff4ab2ec9cf09e01)

... cake with a mild coffee flavor, sent by John (Desperadum) in NYC.
Title: Re: "Jackie's Friends"
Post by: dejavu on