Update on my parents:
My mum is home, in the new apartment. There's still plenty to do, unpacking and getting things sorted, and making the place cozy. Still no curtains e.g. But there's slowly progress, I try to do a little each time I visit.
The home care seems to work fairly well, to my enormous relief.
The girls (of different ages) who come to help her are all very sweet, and from what I've seen they take good care of her, on the whole. They are there about 5 times a day, and a couple of times at night as well.
She also has home rehab a couple of times a week. Three times a week she goes to daycare, to meet other people and to allow my dad to have some time on his own.
My mum is totally dependent on others, she can't even move her wheelchair a meter on her own. That is one of the things she's working on with the home rehab PT.
My dad is very patient with her, wheels her around and gets things for her.
Under the circumstances, they seem to have adjusted pretty well, and their daily life is pretty much under control.
But the overall responsibility is totally relying on me. I organize everything when they're going somewere, arrange for the mobility service, home care, that they bring what they need, and stay with them wherever they're going. I arrange for my mum to go to the doctor, audionom, optician, speach therapist, take her there, get her prescription medicines, and stay in touch with the home nurse. I take her to town to do shopping, and have to plan it very carefully, since you can't go everywhere in a wheelchair. I make sure she has clothes for the season, since a lot of her old clothes are not very suitable for wheelchair use, or very hard for her helpers to take on and off.
My mum doesn't always have a realistic notion of what she needs, so I have to have it for her. And make sure she gets it.
I remind my dad of dozens of things, and have to do it very carefully, as he's easily offended by it.
Since neither of them is capable of taking the full responsibility or planning ahead or arranging things, all of this relies on me.
There isn't one single day at work where I don't make at least one phonecall regarding my parents, often more.
Everybody tells me to take care of myself too, and I try to. I'm so happy I was able to go to Chicago in November, I really needed to get away.