Reactions to Brokeback by friends, family & audiences

[exlogcabin]

Hey Luckie,

Sorry to hear that your African American friend feels that way.  But you should feel comfortable to throw it back at her and ask how she feels when people say that Halle Berry only got so much acclaim because she was black.  Tell her it is the same scenerio and that as a fellow minority, we need to be more sympathetic towards one another's struggles and search for recognition and acclaim.  She really shouldn't take this "victory" from us.

Exlogcabin.

[waynerman]

Story about how two groups--a PFLAG chapter and the Kansas Coalition for Equality--helped to bring BBM to Manhattan, Kansas:

http://kstatecollegian.com/article.php?a=8489

Manhattan is home to Kansas State University and has a huge student population. Interesting that it was not a student effort that brought the film to town...and the students' reactions to the movie are reportedly mixed.

[Luckie Starchild]

Hey Luckie,

Sorry to hear that your African American friend feels that way.  But you should feel comfortable to throw it back at her and ask how she feels when people say that Halle Berry only got so much acclaim because she was black.  Tell her it is the same scenerio and that as a fellow minority, we need to be more sympathetic towards one another's struggles and search for recognition and acclaim.  She really shouldn't take this "victory" from us.

Exlogcabin.

Thank you for your message.  I just sent my friend an email and told her how I felt.  I told her I loved her but was feeling a little hurt and offended by her comments.  I hope she understands where I'm coming from.

[exlogcabin]

Great.  Hope she responds favorably, as I am sure a good friend would. 

See how this movie really opens up a dailogue?

For me, it's not so much moving the bigots over to love us, but rather the small movements of everyone else.  From those who are neutral about gay relationships to becoming more understanding, from those who call themselves passive allies to becoming advocates and from simple tolerance to acceptance and then love.

[ruth]

I spent the weekend in a cabin on the coast with a dear friend and her mom.  I had hoped at one point to be able to coerce my friend into seeing BBM with me but when I mentioned it a few weeks back she sort of guffawed and made some noises to the effect that the whole thing was kind of a joke...I believe she had been watching Jon Stewart and maybe Jay Leno and knew not much of the film other than all the gay "jokes". Which is really sad.

So this weekend I brought along a copy of "Close Range" and as it was rainy we stayed in one night, built a fire and read. Both my friend and her mother read the BBM portion that night; my friend at first said now she knew she didn't want to see it because she would probably cry.

But later on after bedtime we were awake chatting and she asked me a lot of questions about the movie, the actors involved,  etc. Very much intrigued. I am hoping there will be a viewing sometime in the near future.

Interesting how even though the public has been innundated with all the Leno-style humor and ridicule re: BBM and yet, there it is! Really when you think about it, even though the film is outstanding, what are the chances it could survive and thrive the way it has, under such circumstances? It's weird. It gives me faith somehow in my fellow humans.

[Vicky0uk]

Saw it yesterday in Covent Garden in London.

The cinema was almost full, as was the showing before ours. There was a mix of groups of gay men, same-sex and opposite sex couples of varying ages and sexualities (!), and few mother-daughter couples (including myself).

Throughout the audience was mostly rapt. A woman near my mother was sniffing. One silly mare behind me kept commenting, thank goodness not during any of the important scenes. At the end I heard her saying that she expected more action but since one of the comments she made concerned the pattern on Ennis's pajama bottoms I really expected very little else from her.

[Luckie Starchild]

Great.  Hope she responds favorably, as I am sure a good friend would. 

See how this movie really opens up a dailogue?

For me, it's not so much moving the bigots over to love us, but rather the small movements of everyone else.  From those who are neutral about gay relationships to becoming more understanding, from those who call themselves passive allies to becoming advocates and from simple tolerance to acceptance and then love.

I just got an email from her and she said she was sincerely sorry that I felt hurt.  I think it was a productive exchange.  She will likely see the movie, maybe she won't like it but I have a strong feeling she will able to understand how many people will be deeply touched by it.  I don't think my response was an issue about political correctness -- I simply felt compelled to let her know how I had felt about some of her remarks. 

You are so right.  This movie is really opening up dialogues and, in ways great and small, allowing people to understand us and for that, I will be eternally grateful.

Luckie

[Pug]

Leno is so weird because he really liked the film but has nevertheless damaged it by being stupid.

[killersmom]

Saw it yesterday in Covent Garden in London.

The cinema was almost full, as was the showing before ours. There was a mix of groups of gay men, same-sex and opposite sex couples of varying ages and sexualities (!), and few mother-daughter couples (including myself).

Throughout the audience was mostly rapt. A woman near my mother was sniffing. One silly mare behind me kept commenting, thank goodness not during any of the important scenes. At the end I heard her saying that she expected more action but since one of the comments she made concerned the pattern on Ennis's pajama bottoms I really expected very little else from her.

Vicky,
I laughed out loud at your post

Yes I have had to listen to comments like that in the times I have been to see the movie, although luckily not many. The last time I went I had to tell a guy to shush as he was doing a running commentary thru the whole movie. I think it was nervousness.

On the whole, reactions here are pretty much the same.

Thanks for posting here and sharing with us. Keep it up.

killersmom

[WLAGuy]

One silly mare behind me kept commenting, thank goodness not during any of the important scenes.

I love British expressions.  MUCH more imaginative than Americans.

[Delilah]

My mom went to see it today on her own, father obviously didn't care...SHE LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT, MESMERIZED BY STORY, CAST, EVERYTHING!!!!! Good for her, I told her...PLEASE GO SEE IT, you will come out of the theater a different person, and I was right!!!!

[killersmom]

One silly mare behind me kept commenting, thank goodness not during any of the important scenes.

I love British expressions.  MUCH more imaginative than Americans.

 

Hey Guy, that is exactly what I was thinking.

[FinnGal]

Probably off-topic this but I would just like to have something clarified for me regarding the assessing of the sexual orientation of the audiences out there gathering to see BBM: how can it be so easy for people to instantly tell whether the men coming to see the film are gay? Are they dressing/acting in a way as to make it that much more likely? See, I always thought that the vast majority of gays are like, well, Jack and Ennis, in the sense that a stranger really couldnīt make any assumptions about their sexual identity. Yet here many keep casually mentioning how a particular audience was either full of gays or a mixed crowd or consisting mostly of straight people etc..  Iīm sorry if this seems a bit of a stupid question, but Iīm just really curious as to how it can be so easy to tell and wheter it is based on outward appearance or behaviour?

[BobcatJH]

There were some idiots in the Ohio theater where I saw it, something I wrote about here:

Settling into our seats Friday night in the packed Northeast Ohio theater - the Cinemark at Valley View - a palpable charge was in the air. The film's subject matter and award-winning stature left the diverse audience eager to take in Ang Lee's masterpiece. When the complex relationship between Wyoming ranchmen Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist developed, however, we began to notice a level of immaturity I've rarely seen at the cineplex, one indicative of our bigoted society.

As the relationship between Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) turned romantic, cries of "ew" mingled with laughter from a sizeable portion of the audience. One woman behind us exclaimed, "Thanks for preparing me for that," as though she had been completely ignorant of the storyline. Apart from the typical theater annoyances, there were, on multiple occasions, moments when people's classless actions marred an otherwise gripping experience.

That we live in a society that stigmatizes homosexuality is a notion as heartbreaking as the movie itself. Not only is it heartbreaking, but it's also unbelievably angering. And that anger, apart from a profound sadness, is the feeling I left the theater with Friday. I'm angry that people like Chris Matthews can make homophobic jokes and get away with it. I'm angry that the Washington Post can run homophobic cartoons and get away with it. I'm angry that theater owners can make homophobic decisions to refuse to run the movie and get away with it. I'm angry that conservatives can make homophobic critiques of "Brokeback Mountain" without seeing it and get away with it. Above all else, I'm angry that our society continues to treat honest, law-abiding, tax-paying Americans as second-class citizens.

[Uclapeterg]

Well, "gays" can act as many different ways as "straights" can. There are a lot of Jacks and Ennises as well as any other types.

You bring up a very good question, though.