Reactions to Brokeback by friends, family & audiences

[terry]

  Hey Cara, don't sweat it.  You can't expect everyone to love something we do.  Different strokes for different folks.  Besides, you're on this board with us who love it so it can't be that bad, right?

[cyoung]

Also Cara - as an ex-evangelical, I can tell you that fundy defense mechanisms can be saying one thing while something else is going on in one's heart! Could be that some unseen good was still done w/your sister-in-law

I hope so. She seemed pretty dismissive, even the next day. My niece said something interesting the next day, though. A friend of my sister-in-law had really liked the movie, said it had "sat on her shoulder" for days afterward. That next morning, my niece said the movie was also "sitting on her shoulder." I asked her in what way -- the sadness? And she scoffed a little and said, "I don't know." But couldn't or wouldn't elaborate.

Cara

[cyoung]

Just got an e-mail thank-you note from my sister-in-law. Here's what she said about the movie. She sounded more positive this time. Hmmm. Don't know if that means anything or if it's just part of being polite in thanking us for the visit.

"I enjoyed the movie, even though I'm not as inclined to analyze it; it was good and I'm glad I saw it with you."

Cara

[Cowboy Dave]

wow - I would be tempted to interpret that:

  "I feel a lot more empathy now, but I can't really discuss the philosophical
   (theological?) consequences of this because it would require thinking independently of my
   current support system and perhaps having unacceptable views."

 

[cyoung]

wow - I would be tempted to interpret that:

  "I feel a lot more empathy now, but I can't really discuss the philosophical
   (theological?) consequences of this because it would require thinking independently of my
   current support system and perhaps having unacceptable views."

 

Could be. Or she may be saying something positive because she knew I was a little disappointed by her reaction.

Cara

[lynn]

"I enjoyed the movie, even though I'm not as inclined to analyze it; it was good and I'm glad I saw it with you."

Cara, that is so similiar to the e-mail I got from my girlfriend that it "was fun", she was glad she went, and the movie "had meaning". Later, she admitted she was numb over events in her own life, and perhaps like your SIL, I think she was trying to apologize for not reacting the way I did.

I think a viewer's reaction to this movie rests upon one's current emotional state and willingness to experience unpleasant emotions (heartache, suffering, despair), along with other factors like world view and life experience. Not everyone can be in the right emotional state to truly experience the movie's power.

[aevkc]

I saw the movie for the third time with my mother this weekend.  She was bawling at the end, as was I (again!).  Anyway, on the way out she said, "I just can't take it.  It's too sad.  So in my mind I'm just going to think that Ennis meets a nice boy at his daughter's wedding and they live happily ever after."  It was so cute and sweet to hear my 62 year old mother saying those words that it actually made me laugh through my tears.   

[Cowboy Dave]

aekvc,

There are no doubt a lot of us here that would like to trade moms with YOU! Or, could she at least adopt us?

[aevkc]

Yeah, I have to say, my family is pretty great.  My dad, step-mom, mom and step-dad and my husband have all seen the movie and loved it.  They aren't quite as obsessed as I am (although my mom wants to see it again), but they don't give me any grief either!   

[lektronnorth]

Very fed up this evening. I've been a BBM ambassador to my straight friends at work. I work in the media in the UK, you'd think reasonably "liberal" with a small l, as indeed it is.  Have even written a small article about it in the weekly newspaper I do a column for - which resulted in a fellow columnist producing a sneering "Homo on the range" piece. That's him off my Christmas Card list.

But the reason I'm fed up is that three couples who I would have thought would have been pretty receptive came out with a succession of utterly fatuous and vacuous comments, I can only assume that a lot of straight people (honourable exceptions on this board, obviously) have NO IDEA what being a repressed, or even a reasonably together gay person is like. Let alone how great this film is. "Heath Ledger - he's the one that mumbles"   "I thought Jake's moustache was ridiculous".  "It was a good movie".

I could bloody kill the friggin lot of them.  On top of the SAG, I'm now convinced that the film industry will reward Ang Lee by comprehensively stiffing this.  I could cry - though I'm obviously going to save that for the next time I see the movie.

HELP!!!!!!!   

[killersmom]

After reading the previous posts I would like to share my experience in seeing the movie with my best friend and business partner. We have been best friends for 35 yrs and business partners for 3 months. I started talking the movie up early last fall, just little comments here and there. Nothing much in response.

When it finally hit our neck of the woods in early January, after I had been talking more and more about it because I had
1. read the short story
2. started posting on this board
I told her I was going to go to see BBM the next night. She asked if I wanted some company. My mouth was opened to my knees.
Although we are best friends, we are far apart in many issues, but what makes us good friends is that we respect those differences and  don't let them interfere with our friendship. I said sure, but reminded her that there were 3 scenes she might have a problem with. She told me not to worry. We went the next evening, I was overwhelmed and she acted underwhelmed. We did not discuss much, but I had my support group here, so that helped me.

A few days later, she started talking about the movie to me. Asking questions, what I thought of a certain scene, did I think another scene meant this...Since then it has opened up a dialog between us, that in 35 yrs of friendship, I never, ever believed we would have. She since has seen it with me a second time at her instigation.

More diverse dialog has ensued. It has been tremendous and astounding. She has asked to meet and have lunch with several of my best friends who are gay when they come to visit me. I firmly believe without this movie sharing experience, these discussions never would have happened. It is wonderful.

In the opposite direction, I brought up the movie in a discussion with my sister-in-law, and she said no, she had "no desire to see two gay cowboys getting it on in the mountains". I also have some acquaintances who have told me they would like to see the movie as husband or boyfriend won't go, but cannot get them to commit to go.

This is my experience, from one extreme to the other and the middle ground

[BillN]

After reading the previous posts I would like to share my experience in seeing the movie with my best friend and business partner. We have been best friends for 35 yrs and business partners for 3 months.
More diverse dialog has ensued. It has been tremendous and astounding. She has asked to meet and have lunch with several of my best friends who are gay when they come to visit me. I firmly believe without this movie sharing experience, these discussions never would have happened. It is wonderful.

Killersmon, that is fantastic. I've had a variety of responses of people who have seen the film and it has been all over the map. My sense is that if only a portion of those folks have a reaction that allows them to be more open and tolerant, BBM is a tremendous success.

[trinket]

Hi guys!  I just read this review on BB.
I thought it was SO WELL done!! Read all of it and see what you think. Send those who you know don't want to see it the website and ask them to read it ALL, also.
I think this review could possible change people's minds.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11102003/page/2/

[sherryfair]

Trinket, this is excellent, indeed.

Have you posted it on the Brokeback's Effect on Women board?

Note from lynn: thanks for the heads-up, I'm posting it in Women and in Reviews now.

[WLAGuy]

Hi guys!  I just read this review on BB.
I thought it was SO WELL done!! Read all of it and see what you think. Send those who you know don't want to see it the website and ask them to read it ALL, also.
I think this review could possible change people's minds.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11102003/page/2/

That was great.  Thanks for sharing.