Reactions to Brokeback by friends, family & audiences

[cyoung]

Anyways, I had to let you know how I feel.

Hope you're well.
R

This post, and your letters to your family, made me just ache for you. Hey, if I were your sister, I'd go with you in a heartbeat!

Cara

[DaveinPhilly]

Anyways, I had to let you know how I feel.

Hope you're well.
R

This post, and your letters to your family, made me just ache for you. Hey, if I were your sister, I'd go with you in a heartbeat!

Cara

Cara & Lektronorth  - there's a whole lot of insensitive people out there in them thar hills. Stay focused on the supportive ones. My own family - "hugely" supportive of me and my partner of 26yrs haven't bothered to see it, even though I wrote 2 emails to each of them weeks ago asking them to do something for me.  I guess they'll rent it and then we'll get around to a discussion of some sort. the thing (admittedly small) for me is that like so many films the big screen is hugely important. To view a postage stamp of any work of art is not to fully see it.

But that said, you're both in good company here!

[jack]

aekvc,
There are no doubt a lot of us here that would like to trade moms with YOU! Or, could she at least adopt us?

adopt, nothing, i was thinking of asking her if she wants to rescue a 62 year old gay man from a solitary life... maybe she could fix me 

jack

[jack]

Very fed up this evening. I've been a BBM ambassador to my straight friends at work. I work in the media in the UK, you'd think reasonably "liberal" with a small l, as indeed it is.  Have even written a small article about it in the weekly newspaper I do a column for - which resulted in a fellow columnist producing a sneering "Homo on the range" piece. That's him off my Christmas Card list.

I could bloody kill the friggin lot of them.  On top of the SAG, I'm now convinced that the film industry will reward Ang Lee by comprehensively stiffing this.  I could cry - though I'm obviously going to save that for the next time I see the movie.

lectron,

there is a great old latin saying, no, not carpe diem ...  illegitimus non carborundum... very freely translated, don't let the bastards wear you down !
-or-

as bette middler says "f**k 'em if they can't take a joke!

you have us, a 24/7 equal opportunity comfort zone.

jack

[richardL]

I just saw friends out of town.
They are gay male couple .. 40s .. they went with fairly eccentric straight couple .. gay guys were really ho-hum about the film ( it was too long too slow
blah blah )... I could have burst.  Eccentric straight couple loved it .. HE cried lots, she's a hard cow but she said she was very moved....
He's the first straight man I've known to cry due to the film. If you can imagine this guy .. hes about 6ft5in, overweight, about 50yrs old
mad flowing silver hair. Went to Winchester and has booming middle class voice. And he cried.
Who's next to be struck ?
Rich   

[graylockV]

I just wanted to drop you a note about something that bothered me- I know you said you weren't feeling too great, but I was disappointed you didn't go to the movie with mom and me. I'd told you in my e-mail how much it would mean to me if you guys would. Jerry, particularly, seemed to have no sympathy and objected even to the idea of the movie- parroting Fox News talking points at me about how the characters are not real cowboys.  Look- You guys have a daughter who is a lesbian, and you have a gay brother. Here's a first-rate film- best picture of the year- that might give you a glimpse at what we go through (the movie's really about the cost of hating one's self) and I can feel you guys avoiding it. Jerry even seems proud to be against the movie. If you were me, what would you be thinking? I don't think ya'll really want to pick Rush Limbaugh over your own family.

Anyways, I had to let you know how I feel.

Hope you're well.
R

To DFWRichNYC:

I just read this post and your prior lengthy one about your experiences with your family.  I just have to chime in and say that somebody did something right in your upbringing and education for you to be able to articulate your life experience so well. 

It is your family's loss that they refuse to understand what you have been through, and what they put you through.   Like Ennis - they may not appreciate what they have lost till it's too late.  But sadly, some people just never "get it."  No matter how much we want them to, no matter how hard we try.  Remember the old saying, "There are none so blind as those who refuse to see."

[lektronnorth]

Very fed up this evening. I've been a BBM ambassador to my straight friends at work. I work in the media in the UK, you'd think reasonably "liberal" with a small l, as indeed it is.  Have even written a small article about it in the weekly newspaper I do a column for - which resulted in a fellow columnist producing a sneering "Homo on the range" piece. That's him off my Christmas Card list.

I could bloody kill the friggin lot of them.  On top of the SAG, I'm now convinced that the film industry will reward Ang Lee by comprehensively stiffing this.  I could cry - though I'm obviously going to save that for the next time I see the movie.

lectron,

there is a great old latin saying, no, not carpe diem ...  illegitimus non carborundum... very freely translated, don't let the bastards wear you down !
-or-

as bette middler says "f**k 'em if they can't take a joke!

you have us, a 24/7 equal opportunity comfort zone.

jack

Thanks Jack - I've noticed you dispensing wit and wisdom here. Anyone who quotes Bette Midler at me is OK with me!!

[aevkc]

[

adopt, nothing, i was thinking of asking her if she wants to rescue a 62 year old gay man from a solitary life... maybe she could fix me 

jack

Jack, I don't think you need fixing!    By the way, my dad's been a friend of Bill W's for 20 years.  Good for you! 

[Carissa]

I wasn't sure where to put this but I'm on another movie site for Lord of the Rings.  Every Monday, there is a thread about what movie you saw that weekend and reviews are encouraged too.  Here is a fellow forum member's review from there.

Subject:     Brokeback Mountain.   Ang Lee at his best.

Message:

A truely incredible film.  It's lovely to see Ang Lee back on form with this heart rending story.  The emotional intensity reminds me very much of Ice Storm and, in the same way, this movie gets under your skin.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since watching it last night.

I know Heath Ledger has had a deal of praise over his role as Ennis, but I think it takes two people to make this movie great and Jake Gyllenhaal is the perfect combination.  I think the passion between the two characters is so well played - it seems to teeter between love and frustration which causes playful banter to suddenly turn into violence - the tension between the two men is palpable.  It's so nice to see this level of sophistication and subtlety in a story.

Ang seems to bring an incredible sensuality to the movie but without being sentimental or slushy.  I also think the supporting cast are outstanding and the cinematography amazing too.  The splendor and joy of the mountains contrasting so beautifully with the dingy houses and sad existence of their everyday lives - each a perfect backdrop for the characters' frame of mind.

Sadly the people who SHOULD see this movie are exactly the ones who won't.  It really does offer such sympathy and understanding of two men who are torn apart by their sexuality, living in a world that does not accept who they are.

10 out of 10.  A must see.

http://www.theonering.net/rumour_mill/rpg/viewer/main/43DE4E7D000ED7EC.html

[DFWRichNYC]

UPDATE-
Got this e-mail this afternoon in response to above.

Dear Rick,
Yeah, I enjoyed seeing you too.  I just wish it hadn't been for such a short
time.
Well I'm exhausted after today.  I would have gone with you guys the other
night had I not had cramps so bad and felt like I did... you can't relate
(aren't you the lucky one!).  I don't have any problem with the movie, and
if Jerry does. that's his problem.  He doesn't always think for me, you
know.I've heard that it's really good, and would have taken Mom had you guys
not gone that night.  I thought I would suggest it to her after all the
moving commotion wore down and she was looking for things to do.
Rick, I don't care if you're gay, straight, bi or asexual...I'd still love
you for who you are.  And, in spite of what you might think, Jerry would be
the first person to defend you.  He's just pissed off at everything right
now, and I don't know why and frankly I'm a little sick of it.  Nothing
suits him...
Kim
P.S. Thanks for being such a great help to Mom... I know she appreciated it
very much, and I know it was putting up with a lot of drama. She won't gush
over you or anything (never seen her do that), but she does appreciate it.

It will be interesting to see if my sister and brother-in-law do eventually see BBM. I'll let you guys know. (I also have another sister Debbie who lives with her husband and son in Houston. I know better than to recommend the film to them)

Yay for the Academy award noms today!
R

[Tony]

Just got back from a trip to Texas to see the family. My mom's moving into a new house and needed the help of me, my sister Kim and her husband Jerrry in order to get her things moved out.

Rick, this was your 4th post...and you blew me away.
You have a lot of courage to face your mom's unwillingness to understand you, your sister's cold shoulder and your brother in law's right-wing ignorance...
I wish someday you have more support from your family.
Remember there are tons of guys/gals that go thru the same situations.  I am sure you understand your family behavior. 
I wish you the best.  Take care

[paintedshoes]

This is my first time on this thread.  I found it after getting off the phone with a friend of over 25 years who has never understood my love of movies as a solace, a refuge, and just a good place to be.  She actually went to Brokeback with me (what a surprise), but still does not "get" it.  When I told her about this site and my love for all of the people here, the emotions that this film stir in all of us...she was worried that I was "losing it".  I found myself doing some fancy footwork (ugh, I hate that) in order to make her understand that my "obsession" as she put it, was merely (!) a vehicle to share something with like-minded people.  I had to remind her that she had loved her little theater work and the people involved in it because it was a shared passion.  But she still didn't totally get it.  I think we finally agreed to disagree.  I love her, but she has no part in this portion of my life.  But ok, I have all of you.  Thanks for being here.

[RolandC]

Welcome to the thread, Miss Shoes

It's a foregone conclusion that not everyone who sees the film will "get it". There are some who will not even enter the theatre to see it, and as we have seen, there are some who chose to condemn it without seeing it too. I must admit that I was not reduced to tears by the film's end, but damn if it didn't get under my skin to the point that I think about it every day.

When James Cameron was interviewed for "Titanic," he made an astute observation that filmgoers tend to project themselves into the movie, asking themselves "What would I do if I were there?" I think about that more and more when it comes to BBM, and I'm sure I would not be far from wrong to say that if we could, we would project ourselves into that small and lonely trailer, hold Ennis tightly and assure him over and over that he is not alone, that he is loved.

I'm so glad that I 'got it'.

[Ranchgal]

Well I just got the reaction from my brother---he and his girlfriend went this last weekend. They live down South in Arkansas.
First thing SHE said was she loved it but it depressed her.   And then she commented about a couple of couples that walked out at the beginning of the first tent scene.  We agreed it was too bad they were so intolerant, cause they missed a good movie.

Then I talked to him(I had told him to go and report back, when we were together at Christmas)
First he said he could actually see Ennis age, like old ranch hands do, and he was impressed.
(he is a detail person)  Then he commented on how the cimematography was so completely outstanding--he really thought it was filmed beautifully.   Then he said that he really appreciated all the small touches, the stuff in the trucks/ on the trailers/horses, and all the detailed stuff on the walls of the houses.  (We know and have a few just like them he remembers)
He said that he could appreciate the story, but didn't really care for the m/m scenes, even though we couldn't see anything anyway.  And he thought the story was a little predictable sometimes, but the whole concept was new enough so he could get something out of it and said it was pretty good, not something he would pay to see again, but wasn't sorry he saw it once.
Said it was alittle too sad/tragic for his main taste, felt too much like a tearjerker chickflick-at least he was honest, and looked for some things he could appreciate.

I have to appreciate the fact that he even went---younger brothers don't really listen to older sisters, even when we are both older now.    I harped on both of my brothers, and at least 1 went and took a date-can't ask for much more.

[terry]

Miss Shoes, welcome aboard.  Also, don't feel bad that she didn't "get" it.  I think people like us are more in tune with the issues and how they can affect our lives, even indirectly.  I don't expect everyone I talk to at work to understand BBM.  I compare it to my Lord of the Rings obsession a couple of years back when the trilogy was in full swing.  I'm not sure if that's a good comparison but Rings brought my love of movies back that I haven't had since the Return of the Jedi back in 1983.  Now BBM has brought my appreciation of film making and that a movie doesn't need spectacular cgi effects to win an audience over.