(((((((((((((((((((Mia)))))))))))))))))))))
It has taken me a long time to get here, but I have been wanting to say some things to you here as we have talked about bullying, you and I, and it's so very important for you to talk openly about it.
First, though, to everyone who has posted here my heart goes out to all of you, to anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind from another.
I want to add to the others here who have responded to you already and who have said so much and said it so well. My heart goes out to you for having to go through this now. I can understand how these articles brought all the bullying back to you, and brought into sharp focus once again the aftereffects of that bullying, and brought back the intense feelings associated with those experiences. The effects of abuse like this, although we might be able to manage on some level to shove them aside for a time and trudge on with our lives, never leave us and only come back again and again if we don't deal with them. The self-doubting remains and affects our thoughts about other things.
I know you know this already, but I have found this to be true, having experienced workplace abuse and bullying of a sort in my last job. I finally found a way to leave that job, but not before I had come to wonder whether I actually deserved a better job and wondering also if I could ever be, or had ever been, good enough at what I do to even deserve THAT job, or the new one to which I was going. Most of all I wondered if I could ever feel valued again as a professional or if I could ever feel that I had something of value to offer my profession. That is the nature of bullying, it is designed to make you doubt yourself and to give up all your power.
Luckily I found myself in a great new job with supportive and trusting administrators who valued me professionally and simply believed that I was good at what I do. I finally started to believe it too. It went a long way towards healing the wounds from the previous workplace. However, I am sorry that I never sought professional help in dealing with the emotional affects of the bullying because I find myself back in the position of dealing with (very subtle, but nevertheless just as horrible) workplace bullying once again. This is why I am writing this story here, because I understand completely how it can all come flooding back. I see it happening to me now too.
The articles that you wrote about must have given you some validation.. Validated for you that what you experienced was NOT your fault and that you are not alone, that you have never been alone in this. Although it is easy to feel that way when the bullying is meant to isolate you and succeeds, especially when others see it and don't come to your assistance. You are not alone, not now. Please know that.
I am really glad that you have decided to talk here, decided that it is okay to talk about it now, and that you are getting the kind of help that you need. It's most important that you talk and get help, the first and biggest steps in recovering from something like this. You need to reclaim your voice, your inner strength, and your power. I know you can.
Big Hugs for you, Mia, and love, and courage, and strength.
Please, keep talking...