Bisexuality in the 70's, etc.To some degree, Jack, I think that this statement of yours:
IMO most of the men labeled bisexual are either gay and in the process of coming out or straight guys open enough to be curious and actually 'check out the other side'. I think "genuine bisexual men" are fairly uncommon, IMO.
goes a long way, perhaps, to addressing the question you closed with:
Why did so many gay men have problems with bisexuals? Was it because so many claiming to be bi were really gay and coming out? Was it because so many who couldn't admit they were gay sought refuge in the term bisexual? These attitudes comments and mockery were ENDEMIC among many many gay men during the 70's in NY, all over the place, it was as if they finally had a chance to dish out what they themselves had recieved, to an even smaller and more vulnerable group....
I would agree with your description of the difference between the appearance and/or claim of bisexuality, versus those many fewer men who essentially
are bisexual, and not on a trip to somewhere else or masking their gayness. The result, of course, was - and continues to be, I am sure - a great deal of confusion on the part of the gay male observer of "bisexuality." I use the quotes to draw attention to the difficulty in separating the various groups you indicate.
There were also those men designated as "trade" in the Fifties, Sixties and early Seventies, which can further complicate perceptions. In my experience this term was reserved for those guys who would hang out with gay men or pick up gay men in the interest of getting a BJ, but who were adamant about being straight.
(The difference between trade and bisexuality was not always clear. It certainly wasn't to me in the late Fifties, and in my mind I lumped the two sets of people together as one. A gay saying that I clearly remember from the Fifties and early Sixties was: "Today's trade is tomorrow's competition.")
But to go back to your statement I quoted above, I think if gay men experienced most "bisexual" men they encountered as later having a gay identity; then it may go a long way toward explaining their lack of credulity and hostility when encountering someone who was bisexual. Plus, I think the idea that bisexual men were not interested in reciprocal sex was very common too.
My own social experience with men who said they were bisexual was, and is, very limited. I'd say from the late Fifties to the Eighties I knew perhaps four or five. None of them were personal friends, but several were good bar friends and had many gay friends. For a brief while in the early Sixties I peddled my butt in Times Square while out of work. I was picked up by a couple of guys who claimed to be married and bisexual, and they were interested only in me giving a BJ. This further reenforced my idea that bisexual men were not interested in reciprocal sex with other men. For that reason, in the late Seventies, when for the one and only time a bisexual man made a physical pass at me in a dance club I cut him off. Though I had zero problem with taking an exclusively receptive sexual role with a gay man, I had no interest in doing it with someone whom I thought expected it as his due. I was not there to be "used" unless you paid.
There can be a somewhat comparable situation in regard to race. As you can see from the photo I am white, except that that should be "white." I have one black African greatgrandparent. This was not something l learned of until quite late in my life. However, by the usual majority American norms I am, thus, not white. Most white Americans take this ancestry as a curiosity, though a few have gone into the most convoluted explanations to demonstrate how truly my being "not white" really must mean something other than what it does. However, those African-Americans who are brown or black complexioned and/or have other black African physical features are sometimes quite hostile. I can understand why: In no way has my life been impinged upon by having black African ancestry, on the contrary I, and my mother's entire family, enjoyed all the perogatives of whiteness.
In both situations, the racial and the sexual, there is a problem of confusing categories plus the perception that one may have been able to enjoy the privileges of the oppressor while not really "deserving" them.
There is a lyric that has just come into my mind. Didn't Nina Simone have a song with the line, "Oh lord, don't let me be misunderstood...." With all due respects to anyone's deity, that prayer is in vain. If it's not one thing, it will be another. If not about bisexuality, it will be about drag or intersexuality.
Jack (too)