How Brokeback Affected Me--continued

[BayCityJohn]

Would I be right in assuming that apart from a very few, for most of us, Brokies are the only source of support and encouragement when it comes to all things Brokeback. At best, I'm still regarded with mild amusement and no little incredulity by those that know me. If it wasn't for you lot here I'd implode I think.

I haven't experienced that. Most of my friends have been very supportive and interested in what I've been going through.
Of course now that I'm in California, ALL of my friends are Brokies.

[Zudos]

Would I be right in assuming that apart from a very few, for most of us, Brokies are the only source of support and encouragement when it comes to all things Brokeback. At best, I'm still regarded with mild amusement and no little incredulity by those that know me. If it wasn't for you lot here I'd implode I think.

I think in the early days for me, I did not really tell family and friends what I was going through, and needed to get the love, encouragement and support of the new friends that I had made here...

Following my trip to the states last year, I started to get my RL back on track, and that meant telling a lot of friends, not family (that would be too far for me), and I have received such support and love from them, and many think that I am more settled within myself than they have ever seen...

Not one of them has a bad word to say, and will openly talk about the film and its impact on me... 

[dahlia]

Would I be right in assuming that apart from a very few, for most of us, Brokies are the only source of support and encouragement when it comes to all things Brokeback. At best, I'm still regarded with mild amusement and no little incredulity by those that know me. If it wasn't for you lot here I'd implode I think.

I feel the same.
The only exception is my husband, who tries to understand what it means for me (true that I don't leave him any other alternative.......... ). And for most part, he's at a loss. Not easy to explain verbally to someone who doesn't share the obsession, even if he's the dearest and closest person for me.

Luckily though, facts speak more than words.

[chapeaugris]

Would I be right in assuming that apart from a very few, for most of us, Brokies are the only source of support and encouragement when it comes to all things Brokeback. At best, I'm still regarded with mild amusement and no little incredulity by those that know me. If it wasn't for you lot here I'd implode I think.

I feel the same.
The only exception is my husband, who tries to understand what it means for me (true that I don't leave him any other alternative.......... ). And for most part, he's at a loss. Not easy to explain verbally to someone who doesn't share the obsession, even if he's the dearest and closest person for me.

Why it's such a rush to meet a Brokie for the first time and be able to talk about it and not just type. I went through this a second time this summer, in French! I called john_john in Montreal while on a beach in Florida. I was so excited to talk Brokeback in French I could hardly contain myself. I was pacing back and forth in the sand jabbering away oblivious (almost) to the people staring at me. 

[Oregondoggie]

I remember my excitement a couple of months ago in a video store here in Portland when a fellow noticed an "I love Jack and Ennis" button that I had loaned to a friend.  Turned out the guy was a member of our forum: Sagebrush dan.  Gave him the button right away and promised my friend another.

[john john]

Yeah Kim! I enjoyed that talk it's the only conversation I've had about BBM with somebody normal !
I've come to see people who didn't get BBM as really weird.

[paintedshoes]

Yeah Kim! I enjoyed that talk it's the only conversation I've had about BBM with somebody normal !
I've come to see people who didn't get BBM as really weird.

Jean, ain't that the truth?  I feel the same way..No BBM understanding?  Who ARE you?  lol

[MaineGirl]

Yeah Kim! I enjoyed that talk it's the only conversation I've had about BBM with somebody normal !
I've come to see people who didn't get BBM as really weird.

Jean, ain't that the truth?  I feel the same way..No BBM understanding?  Who ARE you?  lol

Frankly, I haven't been able to understand how some people were not affected by this film at all.  It cut so deep into my soul that I can't fathom having walked out of the theater thinking "okay, that was nice.  What shall I see next?" 

[andy/Claude]

Yeah Kim! I enjoyed that talk it's the only conversation I've had about BBM with somebody normal !
I've come to see people who didn't get BBM as really weird.

Jean, ain't that the truth?  I feel the same way..No BBM understanding?  Who ARE you?  lol

So the sooner you lot get your arses over here for UK08 the better!! Right? Let's mingle

[dahlia]

Yeah Kim! I enjoyed that talk it's the only conversation I've had about BBM with somebody normal !
I've come to see people who didn't get BBM as really weird.

Jean, ain't that the truth?  I feel the same way..No BBM understanding?  Who ARE you?  lol

So the sooner you lot get your arses over here for UK08 the better!! Right? Let's mingle

For me it's been,

2 yrs ago "enrolling in an on-line forum? Never!!! Not for me, it's stuff for teenagers/desperate housewives/people looking for Internet dating!"
today "Wow I almost hit 400 posts!!! When am I gonna have the next star???"

1 yr ago "going to a BBM meeting? Nah, already spent too much time online....."
today "UK08!!! Oxford! It'd be great! I need to organize! Really need to convince my husband!!! I need this thing so badly!"

  ........OK OK  I am slow.........I know  :-[

[andy/Claude]

Well, Bella Milano ain't so very far away is it Dahlia? 

[dahlia]

No, Andy, not really far.......

[paintedshoes]

Go, Dahlia, go Dahlia!  To Oxford.     I want to meet you in person.  I will vouch for some of the people here.     

[dahlia]

I want to meet you in person. 

Me too, Jackie darlin'........

[tenn_man]

Okay…so here I am again….stop rolling your eyes Johnny boy…lol

I’ve come to conclusions …I gotta tell ya that to me this is hard to admit…seeing how it really is….Remember how it was when we were so obsessed?. How we agreed with eagerness..how we had so much in common that we wanted to burst? That excitement that finally someone GOT us ?...”The honeymoon is over”…said a friend…I laughed at first but then I couldn’t help myself from feeling sad…

I knew from the beginning that all this jazz wasn’t going to last forever…I knew that somehow our differences were really going to separate us in the long run. Yes,we still will keep some friends…those we thought were good friends are no longer, some we are still discovering and knowing better. It’s all human nature.

Our obsession was intense…we fought with our spouses,or our lovers over this…my God,I was almost divorced! What a crazy trip that was…but I learned. I learned how to cope with the death of my first born child…the death of my best friend in high school…all my experiences in my life growing up in the inner city of Chicago…The “hood”..my life’s experiences with death and violence…how I survived….you were all there for me ..you all listened….you shared a part of yourself I thought I would never see. We fought, you made me cry…you even hurt my feelings..but in the end,you put your arm around me and said..”Nellie,this is what it is…DEAL with it.” I can’t tell you how I would have been if 2 years ago didn’t happen…if this movie didn’t grab us in the end and rubbed our noses in it. I can’t thank you hard enough for the memories I had in Texas,in Chicago, or Bay City . I just wanted to bring that up one more time.

I’ve come to realize now that this is what it is. We’ve come familiar with each other now,we see each other’s bad habits…our obsession is now gone. We are different people now…changed forever by this wonderful movie, Brokeback Mountain. Two fictional souls who brought thousands of people together in this thread and elsewhere. Who would of thought?  Dave Cullen can now use this thread any way he chooses…write a book,become famous….who knows..good luck to you . Hope you get a chance to be in Oprah…lol

I don’t want people sugar coating things…”Oh honey,we still have each other,not just as often as we’d like”….uh huh…only time will tell. I’m not going to cross that bridge until I get there.  Love is a force of nature?...can’t force friendship…can’t pretend that some of us really are not compatible…we can still be civil with one another…we can still laugh…hold on to it’s memory for as long as you’d like.

I really,really hope that this thread, this Forum, helped many of you out there. Not just the silly threads..the TV one’s…Jake’s eyelashes for Pete’s sake…but the serious one’s. I don’t see many newbies out there any more…I still see lots of “guests” though…and let’s be honest folks….many of us Forum members log on as “guests” only because some days we just don’t want to be discovered…I’m guilty of that as well. Call it anti social…I don’t care. We’re just here for what it is….

I ‘m finally in terms with the real reality of it all…and I’m okay with it now…I’m really okay and it still feels good.


Nellie

Nellie and everyone, I would like to say that there ARE still others out there who are newbies like myself and being affected by this movie for the first time, even this late. I have been reading these forums and it has helped me considerably to deal with what I first called my Brokeback Attacks !! I am not the type of person to post on forums much, but just felt it necessary to do so now.  I finally saw the movie for the first time in Sept. 2007 ( almost two months ago) and saw it again about 3 weeks ago.  I did not expect the reaction I had, and after reading about 1&1/2 years worth of posts from others, I realized that I was not crazy and that my obsession was not unique to me.  I have been crying off and on since seeing the movie, and after I got the short story and read it about 12 days ago, I find myself quoting lines from the book to myself and tearing up.  I  wish there was a thread for newbies who are just now going through what everyone else seems to have already experienced. If anyone knows of such a thread, please let me know.   Anyway, I just wanted to say that it is still new for ME and I am glad that I had a place to come and read posts by others who had been through it.  And Nellie,"this thing..." (forum thread),  even though it may not last forever, it is still helping people out there!!