Y'all ready for a long!ass post here? ;=
God! I can't believe it. My two year anniversay is coming up soon, next month as a matter
of fact.
Guh!! I remember my first post here. I thought I was going to throw up, wanted to throw
myself off a cliff, had the worst shame attack of all time... posting my reaction to a movie.
How dumb was that?
Then, Killersmom, aka Auntie, aka Linda, responded to my post and what do you know?
LOL.
I'm still here. Jackie, my darling friend, as she is, too, to all of us, responded to
my post and really eased my way into the forum. Thank you!!!!!
If it wasn't for this place, I doubt I'd be here today. The forum saved me. The Slash Threads saved me.
The Effect me Thread saved me. For those, I'm still on the planet. That was the closest I've
ever come to saying good-bye. That pain was unbelievable, unbearable, but now? I miss it.
Sounds weird, but it's true. The ghost of that pain is still there , whispers every now and then and I
hang onto that, because that keeps me close to Jack and Ennis, and all people who have been denied.
I've been to hell and back again with some things that I've encountered here on the forum, by meeting
and becoming close to some members here that were/are of this forum. Really turned me off that this
movie could dredge up so much hate and anger. It made me look at myself and the motives of others.
I decided that I can't control them, can't make them see/act differently. Let be, let be.
Breaks my heart that some things have come to pass, that were totally un-necessary.
But the friendships that I have made, and that are now long lasting, to this day, far out weigh the crap
I've been through and been made to feel. This is the first time in my life where I have so much gladness
and goodwill in my heart, it scares me. I'm happy!! Who'da thought.
All in all, the one thing I can say that is for true and for sure, is that Dave Cullen is a god! and if it
were not for this forum, I wouldn't be the person I am today, I wouldn't have the friends that I have and
made, world wide even!
Thanks to Annie and Co., Dave C. and everyone here for the best damn two years of my life. The places
I've been, the things that I have done!!
Woot!! Two years! Is it possible to be this affected
by a movie, by two fictional beings? I want to spend the next two years with these guys and people who
think the same way. I know that for some it is/was time to move on. I miss them, and wish they'd a hung
around. It's rare to meet people who actually "get it". Ah, well.
I'm afraid though, that I may be the last person standing here on this forum when it is all said and done.
But that's okay. It'll make my heart glad.
oxoxoxox
Beth