One of the elements of the story that I found, immediately upon reading, was the masterful way in which AP relates the story of the boys on the mountain.
It all seemed so natural and entirely in character for the people she is writing about.
She does a great job of indicating that they became close friends before they became sexually involved.
They talked about all sorts of things,(Ennis, perhaps for the first time in his life).
They discovered a "friend,where none was expected".
They actually listened to one another and "respected' the thoughts and opinions of one another.
That they didn't talk about the sex seems perfectly natural to me. "I ain't queer. Me neither. Nobody's business but our own". How perfect! Awkward, slightly embarrassed, baffled for sure, and of course, to the reader, the first hint that these two are dangerously in denial.
AP, of course, is just as frustrated as we. The comment, "not one god damned word" is certainly an editorial comment from the author. "Geez", she seems to be saying, "if they had only had the skills, the guts, the SOMETHING, to discuss the situation honestly, perhaps, despite all the odds against them, they might have been able to work something out".
One of the tragic elements is that neither of them really were "equipped" to discuss the relationship and when they finally did, four years later in the motel, Ennis had already rationalized and "compartmentalized" it with his ethos of "if you can't fix it..."
And so it went, this is how Ennis tried to survive.
Jack, on the other hand was in total frustration and we only learn, much later in the story, how he coped (besides "not rolling his own", 'Mexico" and "finding ways to spend his money on buying trips) ...the DE, that one moment of "perceived" 'artless, sexless" no artifice, no bull shit, god I love being with you, me too, vapor of a memory.
Stunning writing, indeed.
