I am not trying to say that Jack saw it as a good thing that they weren't face to face, rather that it was necessary for the author to make the point that Jack connected the embrace with the parental love that Jack never had, at least from his father.
If they had kissed face to face AT THAT POINT then that illusion could have been destroyed.
hmmm.....I don't think Jack needed to favor the parental love over the complete love/sex package that he clearly wanted by asking Ennis to do the C and C later..what I mean is, he craved the feeling of pure, unconditioanl love, not because he wanted it all by itself; but because he did not see, feel it otherwise from Ennis, during the sex only. I'll agree the love part is more important to him, which is why he singles that moment out; but it only is singled out, because he is being forced to choose, because he does not feel the that DE love during sex, on BBM. If he DID, we'd not have the DE as a standout memory.
We'd have some moment when they had sex and Ennis somehow expressed love to Jack and Jack knew it. This does not appear to happen on BBM..and the shocker of the dE at the end, seems to imply, he did not feel it after that; he knew it was there BECAUSE of the DE-but he simply did not feel it , before or after.
That's the whole point of the DE. Its a 'single moment' in Jack's life. And the author is telling us they shared it, for once.
R&R: Now as I think of it, Jack did experience what the author is explaining, because he can't define it: 'some' shared and sexless hunger, so I stand corrected-but I'm not clear myself on how much is Jack and how much is AP, completely. I think most of it is Jack, but I'd wager the objective 'separate and difficult lives' is a narrative statement, wheras the 'single moment' is Jack's.