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Author Topic: "Jackie's Friends"  (Read 438487 times)

Offline SilverLake

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #840 on: January 24, 2008, 11:24:38 PM »
Frankly, I haven't been able to go to the Forum because of Heath's death.  And then to be able to come here and find that Jackie died, too, is very hard.  I never knew her, never met her, never exchanged a PM with her.  But I so much loved what she had to say.  I will miss her contributions here very, very, very, much.

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #841 on: January 25, 2008, 12:22:55 AM »
I first came to this Forum through my writing and Jackie was one of my first encouragers, and we exchanged a few PMs back in the summer of '06. It tickled me to see her avatar as she looked like my toughest college writing teachers; I think she got a kick out of that when I told her.

Due to personal circumstances, I was never able to participate in any of the Forum get-togethers and so I never got to meet her in person, but I know she came to mean a great deal to a couple of the few members I did become close to, and generally seemed to be held in high regard by folks who otherwise seemed to have little in common, something that to me speaks highly of a person's character.

By last autumn, I had pretty much faded away from the Forum altogether, but, though it had been over a year since we had exchanged PMs, she still took the time to remember me and send me her good wishes for a happy Thanksgiving.  It was a tough time for me, with a lot of family and health issues occupying my mind back then, often a couple weeks going by between me checking in here.

I'm ashamed to say Jackie's PM fell by the wayside and I never got around to responding.  I had no idea she was even sick, and must of thought in the back of my head I'd get back to her when I made some more progress on that chapter I owed her.  As it was I discovered the sad news of her passing too late, and purely by accident.

I will always bitterly regret not taking those few minutes to remember someone who had kindly remembered me, ironic considering what brought us here in the first place was a tale of regret and no second chances.

Dear Lady, I never knew you in this life, and now I never will. Forgive my stubborn pride. I know you would have and you do, and that makes it hurt all the more.

Rest in Peace.

AJ

Offline killersmom

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #842 on: January 25, 2008, 12:35:23 AM »
I just wanted to let everyone know that the forum is putting plans together to take contibutions to donate to The Washington Ear, reading the Washington Post for blind people to call in and hear the news each day. Jackie read for this organization for years. We will make it in memory of Jackie.

We are still in planning stages, but should have information to everyone by the weekend.

Thanks to all,

Linda/killersmom
"Life can only be understood backwards. Unfortunately, it must be lived forward."
... Kierkegaard

Offline teresa

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #843 on: January 25, 2008, 12:46:33 AM »

I'VE HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED
TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE
BUT I KNOW I'M WHO I AM TODAY
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
LIKE A COMET PULLED FROM ORBIT
AS IT PASSES A SUN
LIKE A STREAM THAT MEETS A BOULDER
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD …
IT WELL MAY BE
THAT WE WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN
IN THIS LIFETIME
SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE PART
SO MUCH OF ME
IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
YOU'LL BE WITH ME
LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART
AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END
I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE
BY BEING MY FRIEND...
LIKE A SHIP BLOWN FROM ITS MOORING
BY A WIND OFF THE SEA
LIKE A SEED DROPPED BY A SKYBIRD
IN A DISTANT WOOD
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
BUT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
WHO CAN SAY IF I'VE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER?
I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR THE BETTER
AND BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD.

di, this was beautiful. it is my favorite song from wicked and it is so fitting  for jackie

For Jackie, with love....

'TIL THEN

Goodbye
Is a word we promised not to say
I will have to find another way
It implies we'll never laugh and play as we did everyday,
But oh,
I know that we will
I won't say goodbye
Farewell
Is too final to be apropo
And it doesn't say I miss you so
That I long to see your smiling face everytime, every place that I go
As I keep up with life's endless chase
I can't say farewell
Someday
When we've all found our shelter from the storm
When we've all found a haven safe and warm
Then I know time will find us
Together again
"'Til then"
Is a phrase that keeps your memory green
It anticipates some future scene
Where we once again will share the joy that you bring
Dear sweet friend, we will sing, we will dance
We will have a new chance
So I'll wait 'til then
Someday
When my sadness has finally ended
We will be as the good Lord intended
Faithful to my song and back where we belong
Together
'Til then, 'til then
We'll be together again
'Til then, 'til then
I'll wait forever and then
'Til then, 'til then
We'll be together again...
---Trish Sisson Soulen

trish, this was beautiful too. we will all be together again someday.
but for now jackie has heath and i am sure she is telling him about all the brokies and preparing him for when he gets to meet us all 
bbm forever! long live jack and ennis

Offline JackiesDIL

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #844 on: January 25, 2008, 12:57:32 AM »
Hello to All,

This is my first time on the Forum.  My name is Paula; you may already know who I am.  I am Jackie's daughter-in-law, hence my sing-in name of "JackiesDIL".  Unlike my sister, who posted yesterday, I've never been one for brevity, and I'm not the greatest wordsmith.  So, I'm hoping that you can set aside a little of your time to read and endure what is to follow.  I'm not sure exactly what other people have quoted me on, so some of this may seem redundant, but I wanted you to "hear" it straight from me.

I will probably never be able to express how much you all meant to Jackie.  And I know that I could never repay the debt of gratitude I owe to all of you.  Over the course of the last couple of years, I saw Jackie come alive.  Her smile got broader; her eyes got brighter; her spirit got stronger-- all because of you.   You gave her unconditional love and acceptance.  All of her life, she'd been caring for other people, putting other people before herself.  You finally enabled her to do things for herself.  You provided her with an opportunity to get to know herself, really get to know herself.  You showed her that she was worth loving.  She would beam when she spoke about all of you.  I've heard so many stories and so many names.  I really feel like you're all part of my family, just that we haven't met in person.
A few months ago, before any of us knew that Jackie was sick, she and I were sitting on our front porch, just talking away.  I noted that she looked like she was losing weight.  She said that she was, and that her diet must have been working.  I told her that she didn't need to lose an ounce; she was perfect just as she was.  She told me that she knew I felt that way, but that most of her life she felt "invisible".  She went on to explain that the typical reaction to her weight, the one she had become too familiar with, was to be ignored, talked around, and treated like she wasn't even there.  My heart broke; I was fighting to hold back my tears.  I told her, through my eyes-welling-up, sniffling voice, that she could never be invisible; she is beautiful in so many ways-- inside and out.  Again, she told me that she knew I felt that way, but until she met all of you, she didn't believe it to be true.  She said that she finally felt like she was gorgeous, and that she felt strong, and brave, and that she'd finally become the woman she'd wanted to be.  She said that all of you gave her the encouragement to be herself, and by your acceptance, she came to believe that she was beautiful and gorgeous and worthwhile.
You are the best friends she's ever had.  You gave her good times, good memories, and good feelings.  You made her heart smile.  You made the last years of her life, the best of her life.  You gave her a peaceful death.  She was loving, and she was loved, finally, in the way that she should've always been.
When she first starting coming into the Forum, I was thrilled.  I was so happy that she was connecting, really connecting with people.  She would go on and on about all of you, about your interests and histories.  She loved getting to know all of you.  I loved that she was making friends.  During the time she took off work, Jackie's attention and time were definitely being split between her Forum friends and her family.  It wasn't that she was depriving us.  If ever we truly needed her, she would've dropped everything to help (even if her hair were on fire, and both of her legs were chopped off!).  We were so accustomed to her not having a social life to work around, that we didn't know how to react.  So, I talked about it with my husband, and we decided that we could look at it 2 ways:  1)  That we should be upset, because Mom's got a social life now, and we might not be able to dump the kids on her for our "date night", OR 2) We should be happy, because Mom's got a social life now, and she's got friends.  She's finally getting out and about, traveling, enjoying her life, and making her dreams come true.  We chose to look at things with the latter attitude.  And, that is why I reiterate what I said in the beginning of this post-- I owe you all a debt I can never repay.  You enveloped someone so dear to me with your kindness and your love.  Before she met all of you, she was living her life, going through the motions, not really living up to who she could be.  After she met you, she became that woman; she blossomed.  You see, you never took her FROM us at all.  As it turned out, you gave her TO us.  

I'm sure that Nellie has already let you know about our open doors.  If you are able to attend the gathering on Saturday, Jan. 26th from 1-5pm, we would love to meet you.  It is set to be at Jackie's apt. (I'm sure Joanne posted the address), but if the attendance is going to be large, then we will book a bigger place.  If you need a place to stay, you're welcome to stay at our home with us.  I know people usually extend these types of invitations in an empty way, kind of like how someone might say, "How ya doin'?" without ever really wanting to hear your actual response.  This isn't one of those invitations.  Really, we'd be honored to host you, and very fortunate to get to know you in person.  There is no limit; the Fire Marshall isn't going to say that we're "beyond capacity".  The more, the merrier, just like one big slumber party-- just the way Jackie would have wanted it.  I've put Nellie in charge of getting a "head count" for both the "gathering" (for lack of a better term), and for the "sleepover".  Please let her know asap if you're coming to either/both, so that we can make arrangements for things to be comfortable and suitable for everyone.  
If you're not able to attend, we understand.  We know that Jackie is in your hearts.  We know that we're in your thoughts and prayers.  We also understand that, in the real world, people can't always drop everything to fly across the world, country, state.  Airfare's not free; bosses aren't always understanding with time off; children can't be shuffled off to 24-7 daycare; obligations still have to be met.  Whether you're here or not, we know that you care, and Jackie does too.  No matter what time of the year, whether it be this weekend, or October of 2012, our doors are open to you.  Like I wrote earlier, I think of you all as part of my family that I know, I just never met in person.  I know Nellie already told you that we know that Jackie would want her ashes to be on Brokeback Mountain.  I know that there's been debate over which mountain?  When to do it?, etc...  Honestly, we figured that we'd ask for you, collectively, to decide which mountain- the movie mountain, or the one in Wyoming.  We also know that she wanted so desperately to go to London in June.  Nellie said that there is already a plan for some of the group to go to the mountain in late spring/early summer.  Since the mountain is surely iced and snowed in right now, and since there's no "expiration date" on Jackie's ashes, I'm sure that she would be thrilled to be there when the already-scheduled trip is to take place.  But, she would've been torn over which place to go-- the Mountain or London??  Well, she can go to both.  We can have half of the ashes go to the Mountain, and the other half go to London.  That way, she won't have to decide, and sacrifice one to attain the other.  She can finally be two places at one time.  Also, two separate groups of friends (and maybe some doubling-up) can be with her, and have a services for her, without having to travel to the other side of the globe to do so.  

Well, I could go on and on, and on... I warned you about my lack of brevity; didn't I?  I really do have to get to sleep.  I haven't been getting much for the last week, and I don't think that I'll have too much of an opportunity to get much soon.  I'd better take advantage of it, while both the kids are still in bed.  
Hey, I just thought of something... Did I ever tell you how much you meant to Jackie?

Thank you all, and I hope that I will get to meet you all someday.  I'm a virtual hug-machine!  Good night to all-- Paula ;-)

Offline sunspot

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #845 on: January 25, 2008, 12:57:52 AM »
One final picture from the BBQ, which I have not posted before. Jackie did not forbid me to post it, but at the time I thought it was too overwhelming, at the moment when she held the shirts for the first time and realized what she was holding.



If anyone objects to seeing this picture, please let me know and I will delete it.

Geez, I remember that very moment.  I was right there.  That was somethin' else.
 
"We are all hopelessly oppressed cowards
Of some duality
And restless multiplicity"
 - Joni Mitchell, "Don Juan's Reckless Daughter"

Offline sunspot

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #846 on: January 25, 2008, 01:07:08 AM »
That's a hell of a 1st post, Paula.  Thanks so much for sharing that.  I know how much that's gonna mean to a slew of folks around here.  It's good to know Jackie got as much out of the forum as the forum got out of Jackie (and that's a lot).
 
"We are all hopelessly oppressed cowards
Of some duality
And restless multiplicity"
 - Joni Mitchell, "Don Juan's Reckless Daughter"

Offline dahlia

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #847 on: January 25, 2008, 01:07:36 AM »
((((((((Paula)))))))))

I have no words to thank you.....No way I can be there......but believe I'm with you.

Your words mean so much!

Sweet dreams to you  :-*

Offline Boris

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #848 on: January 25, 2008, 01:10:48 AM »
Dearest Paula

I'm Jari (Boris) and we met in your kitchen on that day in August when my connecting flight to San Antonio left me stranded in Dulles and Jackie was kind and generous to pick me up and provide shelter for on e night. Next day we drove down to your home and I met you and your wonderful kids. mark was sleeping having been at work all night.

As much as it pains me, I am not able to attend this Saturday but i want to thank you for the invitation and opening your hearts and home for us. And you do know how much she loved you and how much she talked about you and how much your friendship has meant to her.

One of the things that made me most sad was that she never got to see Oxford. Splitting the ashes between UK and Brokenback Mountain tears me up. On behalf of us all in European Dayshift in Diner I wish to thank you for the opportunity to pay pour last respect to her.

She'll be with us in Oxford after all.

Thank you...

I'll call you later if I may.



"A theater is the most important sort of house in the world, because that's where people are shown what they could be if they wanted, and what they'd liked to be if they dared, and what they really are." -Tove Jansson-

Offline lovelyamazing

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #849 on: January 25, 2008, 01:17:50 AM »
Hello to All,


I will probably never be able to express how much you all meant to Jackie.  And I know that I could never repay the debt of gratitude I owe to all of you.  

(((((Paula)))))) I am hugging you all the way from India - I want you to know that I owe Jackie a debt that I can never repay. Jackie was an elder sister to me and she gave me a wisdom that I could never have come by without her. Please take me as your own - I am there for you.
Quote
I'm sure that Nellie has already let you know about our open doors.  If you are able to attend the gathering on Saturday, Jan. 26th from 1-5pm, we would love to meet you.

Paula I will be sure to be up(it will be night here) and join you all in spirit right from where I am.
Thank you for your beautiful message. Please stay with us on the forum - we want you.
Much love and God Bless
Maya
"Once in a while
someone comes along
and changes everything
you believe about yourself"

Offline bass51

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #850 on: January 25, 2008, 01:19:08 AM »
My God, Paula.......stunned is an understatement. But 'thank you' will have to do.  :-*

Lenny (New Orleans)


« Last Edit: January 25, 2008, 11:18:20 AM by bass51 »
Honesty is such a lonely word...

Offline JackiesDIL

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #851 on: January 25, 2008, 01:21:40 AM »
Jadi,

Of course I remember you, no date/time stamp required.  I'm so glad that you're healthy and, now that the flower-delivering holiday season is at all lull, able to enjoy some quality time with Petri.   Wow!!  Now I see how you can get sucked in to staying on the Forum for hours upon hours.  I really do have to get to bed now, but you can call anytime.  I gave Nellie my home and my mobile phone number, if you don't have it already.  I presume that you and Wayne have talked ( I hope he's OK-- such a lovely man), as he has my numbers also.  I look forward to talking with you.

Big hugs and kisses,
Paula ;-)

Offline Boris

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #852 on: January 25, 2008, 01:23:35 AM »
Sleep well, Paula...



"A theater is the most important sort of house in the world, because that's where people are shown what they could be if they wanted, and what they'd liked to be if they dared, and what they really are." -Tove Jansson-

Offline JackiesDIL

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #853 on: January 25, 2008, 01:24:22 AM »
Jari,

Please excuse the typo on your name-- I've got fat, chubby-stubby fingers, and I've been up for over 34 hours.  Sorry, I promise to screw up one of the other letters next time!

Hugs & kisses,
Paula ;-)

Offline BrokenOkie

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Re: "Jackie's Friends"
« Reply #854 on: January 25, 2008, 01:25:02 AM »
((((((Paula))))))   You are gracious beyond measure.  But then, how could you not be.

Glenn