Photo Captioning Fun Vol 8

[ingmarnicebbmt]

being trapped inside a large tube filled with seamen.

 

[ingmarnicebbmt]

jack: okay, just for that i’m
gonna haul out my bagpipes.

LOL

Great!

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ennis: i just realized you never did make
the beef stroganoff you promised me.


jack: that was just code for a handjob,
so i’m pretty sure i kept my promise!

Excellent!

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ennis: thanks for teachin me about sex. i’m sure
alma will appreciate the tips you provided on
how to make anal as pleasurable as can be.


jack: no problem. yeah, most women prefer it.
pregnancy aside, the benefits are endless!
let me know how it all works out for ya.

 

*shakes head*

This will make me giggle all day long!

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jack: my name is twist. jack twist.
my nipples are extremely sensitive.

ennis: ennis. i have rough elbows.

Even better!!

 

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jack: my old italian neighbor always said
the key to life is a penis in your asshole.


jack: it took me a few years to figure out he
was saying happiness in your household.

*collapses*

Jimmy, you rock! 

[ingmarnicebbmt]

jack: no, she’s just my favorite actress…
did you see her in the twilight zone?
the way she delivered her lines!

Aaaaahhhh...

[gnash]

jack jagger




jack (drunk & singing): i'm so hot for her and
she's so cold, i'm the burning bush, i’m
the burning fire, i’m the bleeding
volcano, i tried re-wiring her,
tried re-firing her, i think
her engine is permanently
stalled, she’s so cold, like an
ice cream cone, she was born
in an arctic zone, i'm so hot for
you and you're so cold, cold, cold!




ennis (thinking): i think he’s had
too much to drink drink drink.

[gnash]

Aaaaahhhh...

Yaaaaaasss she didn’t have any lines in
the twilight zone. But she was good. 

[gnash]

riddle me this




jack (drunk & surly): why do you let your meat loaf?




ennis (thinking): wait... we had bbq chicken.

[gnash]

how to fail in marriage without even trying




alma: ennis… i went to the doctor today.
turns out i’m not constipated after all.
i’m two and a half weeks pregnant.

ennis: you better drink that prune juice, alma!

[gnash]

flamingo bingo



junior: uncle jack said that he wanted to buy
you a brand new bedroom set but you’d
have to enjoy it in a different state.
he said up in alaska is the best.

[gnash]

this time around



jack: we’re gonna take it much slower this time.
last time my lava tube was left in shambles.
you were going 90 miles an hour! you’re
a seismic power plant! if we don’t slow
down, joe’s gonna ride up with here
with copper wire and hook you
up to power the whole town!

[ingmarnicebbmt]

ennis (thinking): i think he’s had too much to drink drink drink.

Ob vious vious vious ly.

[ingmarnicebbmt]

Yaaaaaasss she didn’t have any lines in the twilight zone. But she was good.