Photo Captioning Fun Vol 8

[gnash]

h. r. nuts n stuff



jack:  three words: THE NUT HUT!
i’m on a mission to introduce
wyoming to the macadamia,
pistachio, and other weird
and esoteric nuts of the
world. i think they’re
finally ready for it.

it would be nice!
you could run the
warehouse. i would
handle all of the nuts.

[gnash]

Jack: "Ennis, I'm just not feeling like myself today."

Ennis: "Me, neither."

Tent don’t look right!

I don’t know what that’s all about, but if they’re already doing modern versions of Brokeback Mountain, that says a lot about the film!

Just think if some studio did a remake. 

BTW, I saw a film clip of some movie with… Brent Corrigan!

Yes, the former porno star has now turned to acting, and there was a KISS in this particular scene, and right after they kissed, some Gustavo Santaolalla inspired guitar music (only it didn’t quite hit the mark!) punctuated the scene.

I don’t know what the movie was called. Maybe it was Brokeback Valley, or something. 🤷‍♂️

[gnash]

tall tales with jack twist


 
jack: truth be told, i was a teenage werebear
until the age of seventeen. technically
it’s “wereotter” but the society of
historical monsters don't yet
recognize that moniker. not
yet at least. luckily, father
felipe took matters into
his own hands and was able
exorcise that entity out of me
by grabbing hold of each cheek.

it took all summer, but it worked!

and that’s how come i’m a little bit
bow legged, as you can probably tell.
wait till we wrangle the sheep, you’ll be
able to see how the darn things elude me!
i could have my boots together and even the
bigger sheep can jump right through my knees.

[gnash]

a spork in the road



jack: you wanna know how to drive an
englishman crazy? serve him up
spaghetti and meatballs and
hand him a spork.

[gnash]

losing out



aunt harriet: oh, when jack came out of the closet
john was so pissed because he had to pay his
wife a hundred bucks. somehow he had bet
her that jack wasn’t a homosexual. really?

talk about being in denial! hell, even i
knew jack was gay all the way back
when he was in diapers. not when
he was a baby, but when he was
going through a teenage kink.

now i know wearing diapers
and baby role play doesn’t
necessarily make ya gay,
but factor in that jack’s
diapers were hot pink.

[gnash]

lengua sticks



ennis: i’m so confused! so would “tongue fondue”
be pronounced tung fund, or tongoo fondoo?

jack: quit teasing me! i wish
i never mentioned it.

[royandronnie]

 
 "Nope, it's true: I ain't never been able to pop. Just can't. But hey, if you think you could help, I guess I could let you try. Just sayin…NO TEETH."

[royandronnie]

Oh, shit--there's this month's "Blueboy" rolled up in the pocket! Did she see it?
 "Uh, Lureen, honey? What in heck is this, uh, nasty queer rag doin in my jacket?"





"Oh, probably the same thing that 15" vibrator is doin in your OTHER jacket."

[royandronnie]

"No, no--I never had a problem with Jack being queer. What frosts my shorts is, the summer he was 13, when the family was visiting, he stole my 15" vibrator.
He can burn in hell for that."

[gnash]

Oh my, the numbers are adding up for Jack!
15 at 13 is quite a feat! 

[gnash]

early to bed, early to rise



jack: i learned to ride a bull before
i ever learned to ride a bicycle.

ennis: what was his name?

jack: father felipe.

[gnash]

forward thinking



jack: let’s go to california to start a company
that makes computer accessories! they
could be geared for apple products
and we would be called CHEESE.
that way people can go around
saying they were the proud
owners of a mac & cheese!

[gnash]

bar confessions with jack twist



jack: last summer i lost my virginity, but i
found it last winter, so everything is
good to go all over again. 







jack: it’s tight as a snare drum,
in case you’re wondering.

[gnash]

drum roll please



jack: and the winner for best actor
in a romantic comedy is…

ennis (whispers): …ennis fuckin twist.

[fritzkep]

Oh my, the numbers are adding up for Jack!
15 at 13 is quite a feat! 

But a foot is only 12.