Photo Captioning Fun Vol 9

[Flyboy]

OUCH!!!! 

[gnash]

manifestations with jack twist




jack: so you’d rather hitchhike to riverton
than get a ride with me to lightning flat
and meet your future mother-in-law?


ennis (confused): alma’s folks don’t live up there.

[gnash]

you're a strange one




ma twist: you must be thirsty.
how about a glass of iced tea?




ennis: i’ll have me some ice, but
i can’t have no tea right now.




ma twist (thinking): john’s right. he really is queer.

[Flyboy]

Baaaawaaaahaaaaa!! Love that! 

[gnash]

tasting changes



ennis: all you got is instant coffee?
you don’t have the good stuff?

alma (irritated): oh, what’s the matter?
i thought texans didn’t drink coffee!

ennis: they don’t! but jack just came back
from italy last week. i also need to find
a good pecorino and some guanciale.

[gnash]

Baaaawaaaahaaaaa!! Love that! 

Ennis almost asked for it in a bowl with a spoon. 

[Flyboy]

OMG!!! That is SOOOOO Me, sometimes! 

[gnash]

ashramming with jack twist




jack: i’ve been bouncin back and forth between
childress and nepal for the past eight months
and i’ve been thinking of starting up a little
men-only meditation center near jackson
hole. there’s a piece of property with its
own hot springs and i think it would be
lovely... nothin fancy, real rustic like
with log cabins and bunk beds and
maybe a few authentic teepees.
but i gotta warn ya, it’s gonna
be clothing optional…you in?

[gnash]

let’s not and say we didn’t



john: jack used ta say, one day i’m gonna
bring ennis up here and we’ll put a new
roof on your house... but, just like i
expected, it never come to pass.
.
ennis: that’s because when he asked me
to help out, i said, the hell with that!

[gnash]

running with zippers




ennis: jack told me about that lightning
strike that killed all them sheep last
summer. does it storm like that a
lot up there on the mountain?




the basque: you never can know up there!
your best bet is for both of you to get in
a tent and shed all your clothes. the
zipper and buttons on your jeans
can and will attract lightning!

[gnash]

unscripted changes




ennis: you ever wonder why annie made ME
uncut and well hung and you the one with
the luscious lips and rounded bottom?




jack: what on eartha kitt are you talking about?




ennis: well, it coulda been me on
my back with my legs up in the air
whisperin, DO ME, DO ME! every night!




jack: true! but that ain’t the way it is,
and i should thank annie for that!




ennis: right? well, at least your sideburns
and mustache are bigger than mine as
we get older. you gain some weight
in the hips too, but i’m okay with
that. i get a goddam wart on
my eyelid or some shit.




jack: yeah, that’s a bit strange. maybe we can
put a little eyeshadow on it to cover it up.




ennis: to hell with that!

[gnash]

come again?




ennis: one day i’ll save up enough money to get
me a real gun. i’m not sure if i should by a
remingtongue… or a sniff and wesson.

[gnash]

readnig is fun




jack: i’m dyslexic but love reading. i read
4 books last year. moby’s dick, tequila
mockingbird, catch her in a lie, and
the three mouseketeers. that one
was my favorite. it’s by a fella
named alexander dumbass.

[gnash]

the two little pigs




lashawn: but to be honest, i really don’t understand
randall’s obsession with anal. the first six months
of our marriage he tried all sorts of ways to get
me to do it. does jack ever bug you about it?
what would you say if he tried to sneak up
from behind so he could enter your exit?




lureen: that’s easy… i’d simply say,
not by the hair on my chinny chin
chinchilla coat. then i’d get him
on all fours and peg him good.

[gnash]

outlaw in-laws




aunt harriet: you might not know this, but lureen
got herself busted for shoplifting from neiman
marcus a while back. she ran off with a mink
stole by tucking it in her brassiere. luckily,
the store security guard was a younger
fella that liked blonde cougars so she
she got off with just a slap on the
wrist. he even gave her a huge
pearl necklace to take home.
well that’s what she said.