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Author Topic: Mourning Someone Who Has Died  (Read 540376 times)

Offline Elevation

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #105 on: July 19, 2006, 06:19:09 PM »
^take care of you, Brian... Planning for a trip/move later could be healthy "distraction" during the process. I wish you luck.

---------------------------------
about the ones I mourn now:

...
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
...
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still


(In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge)
Well there's a bridge and there's a river that I still must cross...

Offline bbmbliss

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #106 on: July 20, 2006, 12:17:05 AM »
^take care of you, Brian... Planning for a trip/move later could be healthy "distraction" during the process. I wish you luck.

---------------------------------
about the ones I mourn now:

...
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
...
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still


(In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge)


Sweetheart  :'(
 
:-* :-* :-*
I know why the caged bird sings.  The caged bird sings of freedom. - Maya Angelou

Offline Elevation

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #107 on: July 24, 2006, 04:24:46 PM »
Thankyou so much, friend.

===
The past few weeks have been... somewhat imploding, I guess one could say. Filled with sad and angry thoughts on grief, new and old, and what the persons missing mean to me. I know I could have written it all down in here, but words have failed me.
All I can say about the grief is that it makes your whole system want to take a serious break. If you don't let the shock run its course w your body - protect it from the greiving stress in its own time - it will simply linger on until next chance. So I'll let grief have it's way with me this time, but that doesn't mean I can't laugh. Lighthearted distractions - like the Diner, the Photo Caps and the Eyelash threads for instance, serve a terrific purpose in that department!
Well there's a bridge and there's a river that I still must cross...

Offline mcnell1120

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #108 on: July 24, 2006, 04:48:38 PM »
Yes Elvan, I understand all too well amigo........why do you think I'm in the Diner all the time?.....I visit the serious threads too, but the Diner and the other fun one's are what keeps me sane...I too have periods where I don't feel like laughing...I may log off this forum for a while or post very little. It passes,but you must allow your mind and soul to grieve when you see fit...aahhh, it's hard sweetheart...I'll sit with you and we can keep each other company...HUGS

Nellie  :-*
RICKY MARTIN ,tu eres mi Kiki !

Offline Elevation

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #109 on: July 24, 2006, 05:19:45 PM »
Thankyou so much (((Nellie!))), very sweet of you. Really appreciate that you mention the thing about the Diner... I understand. That's why I'm trying to head on in there as well even though it's too seldom, but I know it's a good thing to show up even so. You and so many people in there and all over this forum make me smile and that's great.


 





Well there's a bridge and there's a river that I still must cross...

Offline mcnell1120

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #110 on: July 24, 2006, 05:28:36 PM »
Thankyou so much (((Nellie!))), very sweet of you. Really appreciate that you mention the thing about the Diner... I understand. That's why I'm trying to head on in there as well even though it's too seldom, but I know it's a good thing to show up even so. You and so many people in there and all over this forum make me smile and that's great.



Hugs to you sweetie...

I encourage all who are lurking to try joking once in awhile. It doesn't matter that you're not a regular at the Diner or that it moves so fast....poke you head in and watch how people devour you with kindness....we are a silly bunch...:)

Glad it helps Elvan....this place is just so wonderful..

Nellie :)
RICKY MARTIN ,tu eres mi Kiki !

Offline brian

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #111 on: July 25, 2006, 12:19:59 AM »
about the ones I mourn now:

...
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
...
I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still


(In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge)

This is beautiful Elvan. I have just had coffee with a lady in my literature group. She must be in her 70's and her eyes filled with tears as she told me her mother died when she was 34 but she still misses being able to talk to her.  For me it is not yet 3 weeks.  I guess this is part of being human.

Offline mcnell1120

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #112 on: July 25, 2006, 06:10:10 AM »
[size=05pt][/size]
RICKY MARTIN ,tu eres mi Kiki !

Offline Nax

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #113 on: July 26, 2006, 06:42:46 AM »
The one we love has flown

and into every flower grown

and we must be keepers of the garden.
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Offline Elevation

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #114 on: July 26, 2006, 12:51:37 PM »
Hugs to you sweetie...

I encourage all who are lurking to try joking once in awhile. It doesn't matter that you're not a regular at the Diner or that it moves so fast....poke you head in and watch how people devour you with kindness....we are a silly bunch...:)

Glad it helps Elvan....this place is just so wonderful..

Nellie :)

Thank you Nellie, very true. And thanks for the beautiful picture above as well. ((((N))))
Well there's a bridge and there's a river that I still must cross...

Offline Elevation

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #115 on: July 26, 2006, 12:57:55 PM »
I have just had coffee with a lady in my literature group. She must be in her 70's and her eyes filled with tears as she told me her mother died when she was 34 but she still misses being able to talk to her.  For me it is not yet 3 weeks.  I guess this is part of being human.
Yes.
... maybe also because grief has many levels that can be reached only one at a time...... some of them perhaps not until behind a safe barrier made up of enough time passed.
Well there's a bridge and there's a river that I still must cross...

Offline dejavu

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #116 on: August 11, 2006, 07:19:42 PM »
This has been an amazing thread to read.  I just happened in here today and have been blown away by all of your stories.  It is so hard dealing with the loss of someone dear.  I know that's one part (just one part, but a significant part) of why BBM affected me so -- the unexpected loss of Jack brought back the losses in my own life. 

It's been eight years ago to the week since my father died very unexpectedly of lymphoma, cancer.  For one thing, my mother had had more health problems so I would not have been as surprised if she had gotten sick first, and I honestly think my father expected to outlive her.  (He talked about coming to visit me for a long time some time in the future, which he couldn't have done while she needed him around the house.)  Also, I'd made a pledge to try to get back in touch more with my father and work out some of the difficulties in our relationship, and we were still working on that.  It threw me totally into depression when he died so fast, but at least I made two trips out to where he lived to spend part of his last three months with him and my mom.  But still, the overwhelming feeling was one of regret.  Just like Ennis with the shirts:  too little love expressed, and now it was too late.

I'm feeling much better by now, these eight years after, and have been able to step in to take care of my mom the way my dad used to.  So that has been a blessing, having that opportunity with her, and the wisdom to know that you have to take the time now, while there still is time left. 

I know what you mean, too, about not completely wanting to give up mourning because then it's like you're forgetting the person: my dad actually died on August 9, but I didn't think about the anniversary until August 11, nor did my mom mention it.  It does get easier to deal with anniversaries and such, and you don't mourn after a while, but neither will you ever forget.

I'm sorry to hear about the sorrows of everyone who has posted here, but it helps so much to share.  You've already hugged and wished each other well; let me just add some big hugs of my own for everyone.
Jack's from Texas.
Texans don't drink coffee?

Offline brian

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #117 on: August 18, 2006, 04:54:48 PM »
My mother was a keen gardener and it was passed on to me although not until I was nearly 40 and moved to a house on an acre up in the mountains west of Sydney. At first she (having moved into an apartment) loved to spend time up here pruning and giving me advice. In later years she could just be taken on a walk around to see the flowers and this year I have been cutting flowers to take to her several times per week as she could no longer come up here and visit. it was hard as she died in mid-winter (here in Australia) and all I could find were 2 early flowering azaleas and a camellia sasanqua to put on her coffin. Now Spring is in the air, the jonquils and daffodils are out, the blossoms are beginning to appear and instead of making me happy, I am crying as I want to cut them and take them down to her and I can't.

Offline jack

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #118 on: August 18, 2006, 07:19:55 PM »
at the request of the management...

Pete just put up a poll at http://davecullen.com/forum/index.php?topic=12326.0 so we can find out approximately how many books we need to have printed in the first run.

thank you...
« Last Edit: August 30, 2006, 07:31:09 PM by jack »
"through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall..."

Offline dejavu

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #119 on: August 20, 2006, 12:01:32 PM »
I am so sorry, brianr, about your mom.

Daffodils are so beautiful, but maybe instead of thinking of how you can't take them to her any more, you can just think that she is seeing them too from wherever she is, and you can think of her when you see them.  I know that's easier said than done.  But we put flowers on the gravesits hoping our loved ones will feel our presence and "see" the flowers.  More hugs to you.  I honestly don't know how I'll deal with it when the time inevitably comes that I lose my mom; it will be so tough.  Take it easy.
Jack's from Texas.
Texans don't drink coffee?