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Author Topic: Mourning Someone Who Has Died  (Read 576048 times)

Offline ingmarnicebbmt

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3855 on: January 13, 2022, 10:50:36 AM »
Sidney Poitier has died.
What a remarkable man!

Absolutely. Incredible actor, handsome man, beautiful personality.
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And maybe, he thought, they'd never got much farther than that.

Offline ingmarnicebbmt

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3856 on: January 13, 2022, 10:52:03 AM »
... wanted to let you know that Dave's dad passed away yesterday.

That's very sad.

Best, encouraging wishes for Dave and his family. I'm sending good thoughts.
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And maybe, he thought, they'd never got much farther than that.

Offline killersmom

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3857 on: January 13, 2022, 05:38:16 PM »
I have been in contact with Dave and told him everyone was sending him condolences for he and his family.

I unfortunately had to contact him with the news that someone hacked his Instagram account, but it was caught quickly.
"Life can only be understood backwards. Unfortunately, it must be lived forward."
... Kierkegaard

Offline killersmom

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3858 on: January 15, 2022, 12:38:26 AM »
From Dave's Facebook page

Matt Cullen

February 24, 1931 – January 5, 2022

It took me exactly 1 week to post this. Just couldn’t do it. Tough week, but so much better than last week! I woke up determined to get back into the swing of things today, and made my 1st ToDo list since, started knocking them out. This was on it.

I wrote this short bio/tribute for the funeral program. I only had 20 minutes, so not my best work, but . . . writing on deadline, seems appropriate. (I was given 2 hours, but used most of that traveling, and getting input from siblings on revisions.)



Dad didn’t just HAVE nine kids and eleven grandkids, we were his
life’s work. He worked relentlessly at manager/accounting jobs by
day, raising us, and building his small rental empire on borrowed
time—all with the goal of ensuring he could send all of us to
college and set us up for whatever futures we could dream.

Matt was a quiet, tender man, who craved mental challenges like
outsmarting the stock market, and especially bridge—training up
his kids to serve as worthy opponents to practice with Joan.

He put everyone else’s needs first—always thinking first of Joan
and then us kids, famously forgoing work lunches, a lifetime of
McDonalds bags at his desk to save a few dollars. Right up to the
final hospital stay, he was thinking of us first, reporting his
condition as “perfect” to avoid worry. Matt went out an optimist,
and a fighter. He never gave up, never gave in, and lit the fire in
twenty of us, where his fight lives on.

That’s the way, Matt.
"Life can only be understood backwards. Unfortunately, it must be lived forward."
... Kierkegaard

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3859 on: January 15, 2022, 07:32:17 AM »
Thanks for sharing that, Auntie.   Love and hugs to Dave and his family.

Offline fritzkep

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3860 on: January 15, 2022, 09:00:25 AM »
Amen.

Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."

Offline tfferg

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3861 on: January 15, 2022, 03:10:48 PM »
Amen.

A beautiful tribute! My sincere condolences.

Offline fritzkep

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3862 on: January 17, 2022, 04:04:26 PM »
Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."

Offline Flyboy

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3863 on: February 07, 2022, 05:32:45 PM »
It was weird for me. After over 45 years of marriage, blessed as it was, I found myself comforting friends and relatives MORE than they bothered to comfort me. Very strange to me. Maybe it was cathartic in a way for me, but I don't know now. I still have several of my late Wife's friends who seem to LEAN on my for support. I'm happy to support them in that way, I guess. Real Grief to me is a VERY private thing, no one, I mean NO ONE can understand or KNOW your Grief. The worst kind of Grief is your OWN! Anyone agree with that?

Offline killersmom

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3864 on: February 07, 2022, 08:52:21 PM »
I agree with what you are saying, Jonn. As you said everyone's grief is personal and none are alike. No one has the right to tell you how long or how much you should grieve. It's yours and yours alone just as mine is mine alone.
"Life can only be understood backwards. Unfortunately, it must be lived forward."
... Kierkegaard

Offline michaelflanagansf

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3865 on: February 16, 2022, 09:29:13 PM »
Today I threw away my friend Jeannie's intimate things and socks. I was in her place because her upstairs neighbor, who I have picking up her mail, told me that she thought she had some important mail (she didn't). Whenever I go down there I try to do something, just a little bit, so that it won't be so overwhelming when I have to finally clear her place out. I'm waiting to be authorized as her executor, but the coroner already gave me her keys, so it's just a matter of time now.

The weird thing is that certain actions just give you a kind of final feeling about it all. Throwing away intimate things is one of those actions.

And I came across I book I gave her in 2002.
I do my thing, & you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other - it is beautiful. If not it can't be helped.

Fritz Perls - A Gestalt Prayer

Offline tfferg

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3866 on: February 16, 2022, 09:44:19 PM »

The weird thing is that certain actions just give you a kind of final feeling about it all. Throwing away intimate things is one of those actions.

t

Yes, Michael. I gave away many of my mother's things, but there were some things that I could not part with till much later.

Offline michaelflanagansf

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3867 on: February 16, 2022, 09:48:23 PM »
Yes, Michael. I gave away many of my mother's things, but there were some things that I could not part with till much later.

There are many things that I have kept which are mementos of our friendship. I feel fortunate to have not had to do this with my mother (although I do remember helping burn my father's bed after he died).
I do my thing, & you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other - it is beautiful. If not it can't be helped.

Fritz Perls - A Gestalt Prayer

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3868 on: February 17, 2022, 03:05:44 AM »
The weird thing is that certain actions just give you a kind of final feeling about it all. Throwing away intimate things is one of those actions.

And I came across I book I gave her in 2002.


I can't even begin to imagine how this must've felt.   

Offline michaelflanagansf

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #3869 on: February 17, 2022, 08:09:31 AM »

I can't even begin to imagine how this must've felt.

Sad, hollow and empty Chuck.
I do my thing, & you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other - it is beautiful. If not it can't be helped.

Fritz Perls - A Gestalt Prayer