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Author Topic: Mourning Someone Who Has Died  (Read 689719 times)

Offline desertrat

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #210 on: October 12, 2006, 03:27:09 AM »
Today, October 12,  is the eight anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death.

Matthew Shepard Foundation:

http://www.matthewshepard.org

Matthew's Place:

http://www.matthewsplace.com/

 :'( :'( :'( :'(

i'm sorry, i don't have words for what i feel about the matthew shepard murder. matthew would have been 30 this year. he might have finished his studies...maybe he would have done something in politics, as he dreamed of....we'll never know what would have happend. a wonderful human being was taken away from us far too early for reasons i am not able to comprehend.

 :'( :'( :'( :'(
Minds are like parachutes... they both work better when opened.

Offline mcnell1120

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #211 on: October 12, 2006, 05:06:39 AM »
Ooooh listen to you three!

Should I dare mention the words "Fag Hags"


****Runs swiftly as far from thread as possible******

you're just jealous, nick, because today, we're cuddling with dan instead of you !!

 :-* :-* :-*

LMAO................. :P......................................................................................................and I ain't no HAG !!






bwahahaha
RICKY MARTIN ,tu eres mi Kiki !

Offline desertrat

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #212 on: October 12, 2006, 05:27:20 AM »
Ooooh listen to you three!

Should I dare mention the words "Fag Hags"


****Runs swiftly as far from thread as possible******

you're just jealous, nick, because today, we're cuddling with dan instead of you !!

 :-* :-* :-*

LMAO................. :P......................................................................................................and I ain't no HAG !!






bwahahaha

neither fag nor hag...starting to get an identity crises...who am i ?

 ;D ;D ;D
Minds are like parachutes... they both work better when opened.

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #213 on: October 12, 2006, 05:55:59 AM »
Now, Now.

They are wonderful, caring, compassionate WOMEN of the world.

And glad to call them my friends, even though I have not yet been blessed with meeting them in person.

Some day........

You are absolutely correct.  and I use the term "Fruit Fly" with all due respect. 

In fact, on another board I moderate, I started a thread asking the ladies "Who wants to be a ChuckD (my screen name there) Fruit Fly.

That thread went on and on for days, and over 50 female posters showed up to nominate themselves as my "fruit flies".  On top of that, we all went to a softball game together, and one of the women showed up with a shrit she made on her computer.  a few cartoon flies on it, and in the center it said:

"I am an official ChuckD Fruit Fly".


 :D  :D  :D  :D

Offline desertrat

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #214 on: October 12, 2006, 06:00:50 AM »
"I am an official ChuckD Fruit Fly".


 :D  :D  :D  :D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Minds are like parachutes... they both work better when opened.

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #215 on: October 12, 2006, 07:15:39 AM »
and now that we've gone off topic, I'd like to bring it back.

Dan, I just wanted to say that I'm very happy for you.  I'm glad you were able to heal and find happiness again.

Offline desertrat

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #216 on: October 12, 2006, 09:10:42 AM »
and now that we've gone off topic, I'd like to bring it back.


where can we go on with this discussion ? because i just found this on wkipedia:

Quote
Fag hag is a slang term, which is either abusive or affectionate, for a woman who enjoys the company of gay men. Gay men and fag hags often share a very close friendship, generally closer than they have with other women or men. It is this close friendship that is the hallmark of the fag hag relationship.

Some would say that fag hags are pitied based on the assumption that their fascination with gay men lies in infatuation, which will most likely never be consummated. While this is occasionally true, most fag hag relationships contain no romantic feelings; indeed, some fag hags are lesbian.[citation needed]

This relationship, like most positive relationships, generally evolves out of shared interests and opinions. It offers heterosexual women an opportunity to participate in a gay community where arts, fashion, and literature are embraced and encouraged. The gay community also offers straight women a safe environment to party in relative freedom from unwanted sexual advances.

In interviews with gay men and self-described fag hags the most common theme is safety.[citation needed] A rich relationship can develop between a straight woman and a gay man without sexual tension. The fag hag relationship allows the participants to separate intimacy and sexuality.

being a naive little non-native english speaker, i only know the term "fag hag" in a rather negative context (that's what it is used for in german). looking it up in wikipedia i found out that it isn't supposed to be....


....and now i want to discuss it.  ;D ;D
Minds are like parachutes... they both work better when opened.

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #217 on: October 12, 2006, 09:24:23 AM »
being a naive little non-native english speaker, i only know the term "fag hag" in a rather negative context (that's what it is used for in german). looking it up in wikipedia i found out that it isn't supposed to be....


....and now i want to discuss it.  ;D ;D

I think it would be fun to discuss this as well, but not here.  Bear with me, and i'll find the right place.

:)

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #218 on: October 12, 2006, 01:23:47 PM »
God has blessed me again today. I was browsing...not posting much recently because I feel  not so good... came by here after leaving the lasher's thread and started reading.
 My mother died 2004, two years ago, Thanksgiving Eve. I am still devastated. Thanks for being here. I am troubled sometimes by what if questions.  She was chronically ill and by the time she died was not following many of her docs orders. She's a RN as am I,  but our family, friends  and her docs could not  make her behave. I'm not angry, just guilty...sometimes. I believe I had a mental break when she died,  but couldn't express it  totally until I began to grieve for Ennis and Jack. Last December 9, when I went to Lincoln Square to see BBM 12 months  after her memorial,  I  started crying in the movie  and continued to cry for months. I did  visit  a  shrink...started Effexor which has helped... though it makes me feel emotionless and had some counseling.
 I love you for being here.
 When I return I will read more of this thread from the beginning...that is  if the light of my life...my son, will relinquish this seat;)
much love to you all,
mina

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #219 on: October 12, 2006, 01:30:47 PM »
Today, October 12,  is the eight anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death.

Matthew Shepard Foundation:

http://www.matthewshepard.org

Matthew's Place:

http://www.matthewsplace.com/


 :'( :'( :'( :'(

i'm sorry, i don't have words for what i feel about the matthew shepard murder. matthew would have been 30 this year. he might have finished his studies...maybe he would have done something in politics, as he dreamed of....we'll never know what would have happend. a wonderful human being was taken away from us far too early for reasons i am not able to comprehend.

 :'( :'( :'( :'(

I have to mention this before I leave  because  murder has again been committed...This has to stop! A  gay man is brain dead here after being lured to a park in Brooklyn,  via the Internet to have sex.

 http://www.ny1.com/ny1/content/index.jsp?stid=1&aid=63390

Offline mcnell1120

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #220 on: October 12, 2006, 04:00:08 PM »
God has blessed me again today. I was browsing...not posting much recently because I feel  not so good... came by here after leaving the lasher's thread and started reading.
 My mother died 2004, two years ago, Thanksgiving Eve. I am still devastated. Thanks for being here. I am troubled sometimes by what if questions.  She was chronically ill and by the time she died was not following many of her docs orders. She's a RN as am I,  but our family, friends and her docs could not make her behave. I'm not angry, just guilty...sometimes. I believe I had a mental break when she died, but couldn't express it totally until I began to grieve for Ennis and Jack. Last December 9, when I went to Lincoln Square to see BBM 12 months  after her memorial,  I started crying in the movie and continued to cry for months. I did  visit a  shrink...started Effexor which has helped... though it makes me feel emotionless and had some counseling.
 I love you for being here.
 When I return I will read more of this thread from the beginning...that is  if the light of my life...my son, will relinquish this seat;)
much love to you all,
mina

Mina,

I'm so glad you found this thread...by talking about it I hope it can help you. Please don't feel guilty but I understand it's human nature to feel this way...I've been thru that guilt feeling too. We'll talk some more.

Looking forward to chatting with you

Nellie
RICKY MARTIN ,tu eres mi Kiki !

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #221 on: October 12, 2006, 04:52:37 PM »
Regarding mourning someone who has died, do you think it is best to have the funeral or memorial services as soon as possible?

To me, I think promptness helps to alleviate that sick feeling in the pit of the somach -- the emptiness of losing someone you loved.  I know others have different opinions.  But I just feel that the quicker the funeral service or memorial service is held, the better it will be emotionally.

Offline phrag3

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #222 on: October 12, 2006, 05:34:23 PM »
When my Partner passed away I arranged for his Memorial Service to be a week later. He was cremated, so there was no rush.

I wanted time to make the right arrangements and to give those from out of town the opportunity to travel.

Also, we were leading up to a long weekend before the start of school (he was a teacher), so we decided on the Monday evening. That way everyone could have their weekend, and an evening service allowed everyone to come without work issues.

I didn't think that time was too long or too short. It's likely a very personal decision, different for each person and/or family.

Dan

Offline CellarDweller115

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #223 on: October 12, 2006, 05:39:51 PM »
When my Partner passed away I arranged for his Memorial Service to be a week later. He was cremated, so there was no rush.

I wanted time to make the right arrangements and to give those from out of town the opportunity to travel.

Also, we were leading up to a long weekend before the start of school (he was a teacher), so we decided on the Monday evening. That way everyone could have their weekend, and an evening service allowed everyone to come without work issues.

I didn't think that time was too long or too short. It's likely a very personal decision, different for each person and/or family.

Dan

that's true.

when my grandmother died, her wish was to be cremated.  The church couldn't hold a service for gram until two weeks later, so we had gram's ashes in the house.  Mom set up a small table with the urn, and a set of rosary beads, and she sat there for two weeks.  I think that it helped mom deal with the loss of her mom.

Offline fritzkep

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Re: Mourning Someone Who Has Died
« Reply #224 on: October 13, 2006, 06:19:13 AM »
when my grandmother died, her wish was to be cremated.  The church couldn't hold a service for gram until two weeks later, so we had gram's ashes in the house.  Mom set up a small table with the urn, and a set of rosary beads, and she sat there for two weeks.  I think that it helped mom deal with the loss of her mom.

Chuck, that gave all of you time to say goodbye. It was very wise of your mother to do that.

Werd ich zum Augenblicke sagen, "Verweile doch! Du bist so schön..."