God has blessed me again today. I was browsing...not posting much recently because I feel not so good... came by here after leaving the lasher's thread and started reading.
My mother died 2004, two years ago, Thanksgiving Eve. I am still devastated. Thanks for being here. I am troubled sometimes by what if questions. She was chronically ill and by the time she died was not following many of her docs orders. She's a RN as am I, but our family, friends and her docs could not make her behave. I'm not angry, just guilty...sometimes. I believe I had a mental break when she died, but couldn't express it totally until I began to grieve for Ennis and Jack. Last December 9, when I went to Lincoln Square to see BBM 12 months after her memorial, I started crying in the movie and continued to cry for months. I did visit a shrink...started Effexor which has helped... though it makes me feel emotionless and had some counseling.
I love you for being here.
When I return I will read more of this thread from the beginning...that is if the light of my life...my son, will relinquish this seat;)
much love to you all,
mina