The Holidays are always hard for me...they're killers for everyone else too I"m sure...you miss them more and more and it hurts. The good memories are all you have. But when it comes to someone you never heard,someone you never had a chance to see grow up.It's so hard....I never told her I loved her,I never held her in my arms...I never heard her say "mommy". Shit....I thought it was suppose to get easier....I tell people it's okay and comfort them,but I can't convince myself...I can't comfort myself. When I went to see a psychic 3 weeks after I lost my baby,she told me that I may see her in my dreams...that she will come to me in visions,and that one day as I hold my son in my arms under the Christmas tree,she will be there with us...I wonder if she really did.
I take a picture of my Christmas tree every year....the very first year I started doing that,the picture taken had a white glow,a cloud or spot of some sort at the bottom of the tree. I showed that picture to a friend who develops pictures all the time...without telling her what I was thinking...she looked at it and said it wasn't a defect...she looked at the negatives,looked at the other pictures from the same roll.....nothing...then she told me, "Nellie,I don't know if you believe this stuff or not,but this usually means that you caught a spirit".....I stared at her and sobbed...we cried together when she had just realized what this meant. My little angel came to visit me...it was true what the psychic had said.....now if only she would appear to me in a dream....maybe this year....*sigh*
Nellie
Nellie,
Your little Angel was there.
Here is my story.
When Scott died I was out of town for work. Once I got home and was trying to go to sleep, I heard him call out my name, and then the toilet flushed!
You see, Scott passed away in the bathroom and I knew then that the last word he spoke, was my name. His spirit said it again once I was home so that I would know this for a fact.
A few weeks after his Memorial Service a friend of his called me to talk. During that conversation she told me that she saw Scott at the Service and that he was standing at the front of the Church, to the right of the podium. I was glad to know that he was there to see all of the friends that he had and to hear the joyous music from the two large choirs assembled in his honour.
One thing that I had requested was for the Service to be videoed so that I could watch it later (knowing that I would remember little of the event).
Many months later I got a call from one of his Sister's telling me that I needed to come over to their house as they were watching the video (and were the first to do so).
And there, on the video, on the right side of the podium, was a light. A light that pulsed as the processional song was played. The song was "To where you are" by Josh Groban. All who have viewed this video cannot explain this light - other than it was Scott. I believe.
So Nellie - our Angels show up when we least expect it.
Know that they are always there for us. Keeping us safe.
love your way
Dan
Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be (? )
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
’cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are