My mother died in 1975 at age 50. I, too, had to support others at the time -- my father and my younger brother. Ten years later it hit me -- yes, ten years! The sobs that suddenly, inexplicably wracked me came from the depths of my very soul. I have never cried like that -- ever! And haven't since.
All I can say is don't question it, just let it happen. You WILL get through it and be better off for it. We all tend to "stuff" our deepest feelings, and it is the worst thing we can do to ourselves. We lose touch with other important feelings as a result -- and there are inevitably physical ramifications as well. Talking with someone close to you is a must, someone who will just let you talk AND cry and not try to "fix it" for you. There is no fixing; you have to let it overtake you and do its healing in its own way.
No doubt easier said than done, but there it is. My heart aches for all who have lost someone dear -- recently or long ago.
